21 quotes about life for you to reflect on what matters

Today, I want to explore some quotes about life.

What is life all about? That’s a question we all ask ourselves occasionally.

It seems that we are all constantly seeking the meaning of life. That’s why quotes about life are so popular with people.

For some people, life can be very hard, while others appear to lead a charmed life seemingly without any problems at all.

However, never judge a person’s situation at face value. In reality, everyone has problems and challenges. Everyone struggles, at least occasionally.

No one goes through life without being tested from time to time.

Just because people don’t appear to have problems doesn’t mean they live problem-free lives.

However, it is through life’s challenges that our characters are formed. All you can do is take a philosophical approach to life and enjoy the ride.

If you’re searching for meaning today, then here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about life to help you reflect and think about what matters most to you and yours:

Quotes about life
quotes about life
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Quotes about life:

  1. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
  2. To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist; that is all. ~Oscar Wilde
  3. The most important thing is to enjoy your life, and to be happy, it’s all that matters. ~Audrey Hepburn
  4. Monsters are real and ghosts are real too. They live inside us and sometimes they win. ~Stephen King
  5. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
  6. Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. ~Margaret Mitchell
  7. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life. ~Sophia Loren
  8. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. ~Rita Mae Brown
  9. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. ~Steve Jobs
  10. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. ~Gordon B. Hinckley
  11. The more I see, the less I know for sure. ~John Lennon
  12. You cannot find peace by avoiding life. ~Michael Cunningham
  13. May you live every day of your life. ~Jonathan Swift
  14. Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been.’ ~John Greenleaf Whittier
  15. You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love. ~Author Unknown
  16. I didn’t get there by wishing for it or hoping for it but by working for it. ~Estee Lauder
  17. I can accept failure, everyone fails at something, but I cannot accept not trying. ~Michael Jordan
  18. I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to. ~Jimi Hendrix
  19. The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy. ~Kalu Ndukwe Kalu
  20. Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate, and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed. ~Paulo Coelho
  21. This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends; they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything; they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters, make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them, actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soulmate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole, and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about. ~Marilyn Monroe

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1 question to ask: Why is my life so bad right now?

Why is my life so bad right now? Have you ever asked yourself that question?

Perhaps you feel you deserve something better from life? Perhaps your life isn’t all you’d like it to be. Do you want more, possibly?

Does today’s question resonate with you, dear reader?

You look around and see people enjoying the sort of life you’d like, and you can’t help but wonder how it’s all working out for them but not for you.

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Who’s at fault?

If you feel this way, then you’re not alone; that much is certain.

However, if you do feel this way, do you ever wonder who’s at fault for your life failing to meet your expectations?

Perhaps you feel the fault lies with your parents or the teachers you had at school?

Maybe you feel the fault lies with your boss or your employer.

They didn’t provide you with the proper training, or you didn’t get the breaks when there was an opportunity for promotion? Someone else got the promotion simply because they were well in with the boss, right? Perhaps you feel that you were a better candidate than them, and yet they got the job? Life can be so unfair, right?

Well, my friend, I have to tell you that if your life sucks, there’s only one person you can blame. Just look in any mirror, and you will see that person staring right back at you.

We’re responsible for our own lives, and our lives will always be what we choose to make of them.

Yes, you may have had a few bad breaks in life. Yes, perhaps your parents and/or teachers could have been better. So what? Life’s still what you choose to make it.

I’m not suggesting that anything is easy, and, of course, there will always be challenges. Nevertheless, there will always be opportunities for the enterprising and fleet-footed, too. And you can choose to take some of them or not.

You have to decide what it is you want. You have to work out how to get what you want. Then, it requires determination and a lot of hard work on your part to achieve your ultimate goal.

An endless stream of opportunities:

Life is truly an endless stream of opportunities that you can choose to take or not. Look for ways to add value to the lives of others, and you’ll soon see that there are opportunities there for the taking every single day.

By providing a service and adding value to others’ lives, there’s always money to be made.

Continue to educate yourself and acquire new skills, and you’ll be able to add more value to others.

Add more value, and you’ll get paid more.

Manage the money you make wisely, and you can build your wealth over time. It can be done, and people do. So, why not you?

However, there are no shortcuts. Nothing ever happens by chance.

On rare occasions, you might get lucky, and something will fall into your lap. However, mostly you’ll have to work very hard to get what you want. You have to go out and make things happen, I’m afraid. That’s life, unfortunately.

Life and relationships:

It’s the same with relationships, too.

Find someone whom you’d be happy to have as a friend, even without intimacy, and you’ll have the basis for a healthy relationship.

Friendship and trust are essential to a good relationship. As does commitment and a willingness to put in as much as you take out.

It all starts with really knowing what you want.

Know your ‘Why?’

If you know your ‘Why?’ then that will give you the motivation you need to keep going until you get to where you want to be.

If you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen.

That said, you have to be positive. You have to be prepared to make a few mistakes. You must also be ready to learn from those mistakes.

Never fear mistakes:

On the road to success, a few mistakes are inevitable.

However, as learning opportunities, mistakes are truly invaluable. You’ll learn much more from any mistakes you make than you will from any successes you enjoy.

That said, never allow yourself to be driven too far off course. Keep your eye on the prize you want. And never accept an answer unless it’s the one that you want.

Don’t be discouraged:

Above all, never, ever let people discourage you from pursuing your dreams and ambitions.

It doesn’t matter what other people think; the only thing that matters is what you think. It doesn’t matter whether they believe you can do it, as long as you feel you can do it.

You can be whatever you want to be, as long as you want whatever it is you think you want.

Everything is possible for those who never give up until they reach their desired destination. Life is what you make it. I can tell you that from my own experience.

You must also remember this, though: life’s not a rehearsal.

You only get to go around just once. Well, as far as we know.

So, make your life the best it can be and make the most of being you. Remember this: you’re as good as anyone and better than most.

There’s a price to be paid:

You can have the life you want, but not without hard work and commitment. There’s a price to be paid, and that price will be paid in blood, sweat, and tears. You don’t get anything for nothing, and the price must always be paid first.

If you don’t want to pay the price, then the life you lead will always fall short of your expectations. Sorry if that bothers you, but it’s a fact.

Where to start?

Don’t ask yourself, why is my life so bad right now?

A better question is, what actions do I need to take to start improving my life?

Start by making a list, setting some goals, and then you must get going.

It’s never too late to improve your situation. It’s never too late to improve your life. And it’s never too late to be all that you could be.

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15 classic quotes by William Shakespeare to inspire you

Today, I am exploring some quotes by William Shakespeare.

I’m sure there won’t be many people who are unfamiliar with the name William Shakespeare. He was, of course, a playwright and one of the giants of English literature.

The Bard of Avon, as he was known, is widely regarded as the world’s preeminent dramatist and the greatest writer in the English language.

Shakespeare’s works, including his collaborations, comprise approximately 39 plays, 154 sonnets, two long narrative poems, and a few other verses, some of which are of uncertain authorship.

William Shakespeare’s plays have been translated into every major living language, and they are performed more often than those of any other playwright.

Quotes by William Shakespeare are well known, and most readers will be familiar with them. However, I make no apology for making Shakespeare’s quotes the subject of today’s post.

If you hear a great song that inspires you, you don’t say, “Right, I’ve heard it once. That’s enough!

No, you listen to it over and over again. In that way, you’re inspired constantly.

And so it is with thought-provoking quotes like those of Shakespeare.

They are worth reading over and over again to help you reflect on life’s meaning and to be inspired.

So here are 15 quotes by William Shakespeare to inspire you, dear reader.

Quotes by William Shakespeare
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Quotes by William Shakespeare:

  1. To thine own self be true. 
  2. All that glitters is not gold. 
  3. Nothing will come of nothing. 
  4. Lord, what fools these mortals be! 
  5. If music be the food of love, play on. 
  6. The better part of valour is discretion. 
  7. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. 
  8. The course of true love never did run smooth. 
  9. We know what we are, but know not what we may be. 
  10. How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child! 
  11. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
  12. Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste death but once. 
  13. If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? 
  14. The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. 
  15. All the world‘s a stage, and all the men and women are merely players. They have their exits and entrances, and one man plays many parts in his time. 

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57 Misquoted Sayings: Familiar Phrases You Thought You Knew

Today, I thought it would be interesting to explore some misquoted sayings.

Bite-sized tweets and catchy memes dominate our age, and it’s easy to forget that some of history’s most iconic quotes have been, well, slightly misquoted.

That’s right! From Shakespeare to Churchill, and from the silver screen to ancient scriptures, people have adapted, refined, and reinterpreted words to suit their purposes, for the sake of brevity or to reflect modern sensibilities.

Misquotations often arise due to cultural shifts, simplifications for easier recall, or misinterpretations that occur over time. It’s always fascinating to observe how phrases evolve and adapt over time.

So, come along with me on a delightful journey of debunking! Determining who said what and whether our current beliefs are accurate or not.

Prepare to be enlightened as I uncover the true essence of 57 famous sayings and quotes that the world has been getting wrong for longer than most of us can remember.

In other words, it’s time to set the record straight!

Enjoy them all and feel free to share them with others.

MISQUOTED SAYINGS
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Misquoted Sayings (1-10):

  1. Misquote: Money is the root of all evil. Actual Quote: For the love of money is the root of all evil. ~1 Timothy 6:10, Bible
  2. Misquote: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? Actual Quote: Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all? ~Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”
  3. Misquote: Beam me up, Scotty. Actual Quote: This exact phrase was never said in the original Star Trek series. The closest was Beam us up, Mr. Scott.
  4. Misquote: Elementary, my dear Watson. Actual Quote: Sherlock Holmes never says this exact phrase in any of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s writings.
  5. Misquote: Luke, I am your father. Actual Quote: No, I am your father. ~Star Wars: Episode V ~The Empire Strikes Back
  6. Misquote: Play it again, Sam. Actual Quote: Play it, Sam. Play ‘As Time Goes By’. ~Casablanca
  7. Misquote: Let them eat cake. Actual Quote: There’s no verified record of Marie Antoinette ever saying this. It’s widely attributed to her, but its authenticity is doubtful.
  8. Misquote: The proof is in the pudding. Actual Quote: The proof of the pudding is in the eating. ~Old proverb
  9. Misquote: Blood is thicker than water. Actual Quote: The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. This means relationships formed by choice are often stronger than those formed by birth.
  10. Misquote: Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it burned in one. Actual Quote: The first part, Rome wasn’t built in a day, is a classic proverb. The second part about burning in one day is a modern addition and isn’t part of the original saying.

Misquoted Sayings (11-20):

  1. Misquote: Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well. Actual Quote: Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio. ~Hamlet” by William Shakespeare
  2. Misquote: I cannot tell a lie. I chopped down the cherry tree. Actual Quote: This is a widely circulated myth. There’s no concrete evidence George Washington ever said this.
  3. Misquote: The lion shall lay down with the lamb. Actual Quote: The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid. ~Isaiah 11:6, Bible
  4. Misquote: Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely. Actual Quote: Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. ~Lord Acton
  5. Misquote: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Actual Quote: Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned. ~The Mourning Bride” by William Congreve
  6. Misquote: Now is the winter of our discontent. Actual Quote: Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York. ~Richard III by William Shakespeare
  7. Misquote: Gild the lily. Actual Quote: To gild refined gold, to paint the lily. ~King John by William Shakespeare
  8. Misquote: The only thing to fear is fear itself. Actual Quote: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
  9. Misquote: Nice guys finish last. Actual Quote: While this saying is popularly attributed to Leo Durocher, what he said was a bit more complicated: Look at them. All nice guys. They’ll finish last. He was referring to the New York Giants baseball team.
  10. Misquote: If you build it, they will come. Actual Quote: If you build it, he will come. ~Field of Dreams (movie)

Misquoted Sayings (21-30):

  1. Misquote: This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Actual Quote: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. ~Casablanca (movie)
  2. Misquote: Curiosity killed the cat. Actual Quote: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. ~English Proverb
  3. Misquote: Houston, we have a problem. Actual Quote: Houston, we’ve had a problem. ~Jim Lovell during the Apollo 13 mission
  4. Misquote: What we have here is a failure to communicate. Actual Quote: What we’ve got here is failure to communicate. ~Cool Hand Luke (movie)
  5. Misquote: I want to suck your blood! Actual Quote: This exact line was never said by Dracula in Bram Stoker’s original novel.
  6. Misquote: Do you feel lucky, punk? Actual Quote: You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk? ~Dirty Harry (movie)
  7. Misquote: Just the facts, ma’am. Actual Quote: This line is popularly associated with Detective Joe Friday from the show Dragnet, but he never said this exact phrase.
  8. Misquote: Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Actual Quote: Variations of this quote have been attributed to Mae West, but the exact origin and wording are disputed.
  9. Misquote: Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Actual Quote: The report of my death was an exaggeration. ~Mark Twain, in response to a newspaper that mistakenly published his obituary.
  10. Misquote: I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. Actual Quote: This quote is often misattributed to Voltaire. It was written by Evelyn Beatrice Hall, summarizing Voltaire’s beliefs in her biography about him.

Misquoted Sayings (31-40):

  1. Misquote: Me Tarzan, you Jane. Actual Quote: This exact line was never said in the original Tarzan movies or books.
  2. Misquote: The British are coming! The British are coming! Actual Quote: Paul Revere likely never shouted this during his midnight ride. He would have been more discreet to avoid British patrols. Historians believe he might have said, The Regulars are out.
  3. Misquote: Wherefore art thou Romeo? Actual Quote: While the quote is correct, its meaning is often misunderstood. “Wherefore” means “why” in Elizabethan English, not “where”. Juliet is lamenting Romeo’s name, not wondering where he is.
  4. Misquote: Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Actual Quote: The lady doth protest too much, methinks. ~Hamlet by William Shakespeare
  5. Misquote: You can’t handle the truth! Actual Quote: You can’t handle the truth! is correct, but it’s often misused outside of its original context from the movie A Few Good Men.
  6. Misquote: Money can’t buy happiness. Actual Quote: The full proverb is Money can’t buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Lamborghini.
  7. Misquote: A rose by any other word would smell as sweet. Actual Quote: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. ~Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
  8. Misquote: Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast. Actual Quote: Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast. ~The Mourning Bride by William Congreve
  9. Misquote: When in Rome. Actual Quote: The full saying is When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
  10. Misquote: Charity begins at home and justice begins next door. Actual Quote: Charity begins at home, is a popular saying. The addition of “and justice begins next door” is often attributed to Charles Dickens, but he didn’t write the original saying.

Misquoted Sayings (41-50):

  1. Misquote: Let’s roll! Actual Quote: While this phrase is famously associated with Todd Beamer during the 9/11 Flight 93 incident, its meaning and context are sometimes misconstrued in various references.
  2. Misquote: Irregardless. Actual Note: The term people often intend to use is regardless. Irregardless is considered nonstandard.
  3. Misquote: I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. Actual Quote: I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. ~The Godfather (movie)
  4. Misquote: Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges! Actual Quote: Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinking badges! ~The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (movie)
  5. Misquote: The stuff that dreams are made of. Actual Quote: The stuff that dreams are made on. ~The Maltese Falcon (though it’s a play on Shakespeare’s “We are such stuff as dreams are made on” from The Tempest)
  6. Misquote: Home is where the heart is. Actual Note: Often misattributed to Pliny the Elder. The origin is unclear, but it’s believed to come from a more modern source.
  7. Misquote: An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. Actual Note: While this quote is often attributed to Mahatma Gandhi, there’s no concrete evidence he ever said or wrote it.
  8. Misquote: Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. Actual Quote: While often attributed to Vince Lombardi, the exact origin is debated. Lombardi did say, Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.
  9. Misquote: Knowledge is power. Actual Quote: Knowledge itself is power. ~Sir Francis Bacon
  10. Misquote: Separation of church and state. Actual Note: While the concept is in the U.S. Constitution, this exact phrase doesn’t appear there. It’s from a letter Thomas Jefferson wrote to the Danbury Baptist Association.

Misquoted Sayings (51-57):

  1. Misquote: Pride comes before the fall. Actual Quote: Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. ~Proverbs 16:18, Bible
  2. Misquote: Spare the rod, spoil the child. Actual Quote: He that spareth his rod hateth his son. ~Proverbs 13:24, Bible
  3. Misquote: The clothes make the man. Actual Quote: Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. ~Mark Twain
  4. Misquote: Blood, sweat, and tears. Actual Quote: I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. ~Winston Churchill
  5. Misquote: Cleanliness is next to godliness. Actual Note: While this saying is ancient and is often associated with biblical teachings, this exact phrase doesn’t appear in the Bible.
  6. Misquote: The ends justify the means. Actual Note: Often associated with Machiavelli’s “The Prince,” but he didn’t write this exact phrase.
  7. Misquote: Great minds think alike. Actual Quote: Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ.
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Philosophy for Life & Success: 30 Quotes by Roy Sutton

If I’m honest, dear reader, I must admit that including some quotes by Roy Sutton in a blog post is a bit self-indulgent.

Indeed, it’s unlikely that many people will search Google for quotes by Roy Sutton.

However, believe it or not, a reader asked me for some quotes of my own that illustrate my philosophy on life and success.

Well, as a blogger, my raison d’être is to share my thoughts and ideas. So, I thought today I’d share some quotes to see what reaction I get from my wider readership.

These quotes reflect my philosophy on life, success, and striving to be the best you can be.

They’ve all been shared originally on X, so I hope that if they’ve appealed to another audience, then they might appeal to regular readers of this blog.

As a blogger, you must believe that you have something to say and be willing to share it while also accepting feedback, both positive and negative.

Today, I’m sharing my philosophy with you, dear reader, and I hope that some of these quotes will inspire you to feel empowered to succeed.

Above all, I hope you’ll find today’s quotes engaging and thought-provoking.

Quotes by Roy Sutton
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30 Quotes by Roy Sutton (1-10):

  1. Hatred is fear’s ugly sister.
  2. Life’s too short to be unhappy.
  3. Smile whilst you still have teeth!
  4. You’ll never have today again. So enjoy it.
  5. Everything involves risk, including not taking a risk.
  6. Your future’s yet to be written but you’ve got the pen. 
  7. Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason. 
  8. If you want something then you’ve got to give something in return. There’s always a price to be paid. Nothing’s for free. 
  9. Either life’s a great adventure or it’s nothing. Make it a great adventure and enjoy every minute, because you only go around once.
  10. You don’t decide your future. You make choices and your choices decide your future. Choices matter. Learn to make good ones.

30 Quotes by Roy Sutton (11-20):

  1. Other people’s perception of you is none of your business. Don’t be limited by what others think. 
  2. Never fear having a go. Fear only that should you not try you’ll never know what might have been. 
  3. At work you’re replaceable but at home, you’re not. That should tell you where your priority should be.
  4. No one is perfect. We’re all imperfect. So embrace your imperfections. They’re what make you different from the crowd. 
  5. Never again will you be as young as you are today. So forget your age and focus on making the most of life whilst you still can. 
  6. Your years on this earth will teach you far more than you could possibly learn in any university or college of further education.
  7. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Go boldly in the direction of your dreams and don’t stop until you get to where you want to be. 
  8. It doesn’t matter what you do, there’ll always be someone who will criticise you given the opportunity. Just do your best and ignore the critics.
  9. Don’t be ashamed of all the challenges you’ve had to overcome. Your story can be an inspiration to others. You may have had it tough but you’re still here and you’ve not allowed yourself to be defeated. That makes you a role model. 
  10. Yesterday was full of lessons and tomorrow is an endless stream of opportunities. Use yesterday’s lessons to capitalise on tomorrow’s opportunities. You can be all you’d like to be and much more besides.

30 Quotes by Roy Sutton (21-30):

  1. People believe what they want to believe, especially when they’re desperate. 
  2. Money is simply the scorecard for the transfer of value between people in a society. 
  3. Greatness is achieved by what you do, not what you say. Deeds will always beat words. 
  4. We all have a role to play. On Spaceship Earth we’re all crew. We’re all here to make a contribution. 
  5. If you hope politicians will improve your life, you’ll always be disappointed. If your life is to improve, you must take responsibility for it yourself.
  6. When everything’s going well for you and you start to feel you can do no wrong, think twice. Almost certainly, you’re much more vulnerable than you realise.
  7. If you don’t tend your own garden regularly it will be attacked quickly by noxious weeds. Life’s like that too. We must all take good care of that which is precious to us.
  8. Do not underestimate the power of your voice. Your voice matters. Use it. To be silent is to be irrelevant. Ensure that people know how you feel about those things that matter to you.
  9. Never let anyone tell you how you should think. Think for yourself and draw your own conclusions. No one has a monopoly on knowing what’s best. Your opinion is just as valid as the next person’s.
  10. Remaining loyal to the circumstances into which you were born is not a noble act. It’s perfectly reasonable to want more from life. Just because you were born poor doesn’t mean you have to remain poor.
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30 comedy one-liners that are pure gold

Are you tired of the same old jokes that leave you uninspired and unamused, dear reader? Perhaps you’re looking for some comedy one-liners that might amuse your friends and colleagues.

Well, if you’re looking for some comedy gold, some of these one-liners might leave you in stitches.

This collection of comedy one-liners will leave you with a smile on your face and a chuckle in your heart.

From witty observations to pun-filled gags, these one-liners will keep you entertained and amused.

Whether you’re looking to brighten up your day or impress your friends with your quick wit, these one-liners are sure to deliver.

So why wait? Grab a cup of coffee and take a few moments to relax and enjoy all these one-liners. They’ll tickle you silly.

Feel free to pass them on.

COMEDY ONE-LINERS
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Comedy one-liners (1-10):

  1. I’m not old, I’m chronologically gifted.
  2. Am I lazy? No, I’m just conserving energy.
  3. I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.
  4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  5. Why did the blond move to LA? It was easier to spell.
  6. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why you’re wrong.
  7. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  8. Why do they call it a drive-through if you have to stop?
  9. I’m not a light sleeper. I can sleep just as well in the dark
  10. I’m not a great cook, but few people are better at re-heating.

Comedy one-liners (11-20):

  1. I’m not a morning person, I’m a several-cups-of-coffee person.
  2. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
  3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  4. If a chicken crosses the road, then would that be poultry in motion?
  5. I told my wife she was acting like a fool. She replied, “You married me.”
  6. Why did the hedgehog cross the road? He wanted to see his flat mate.
  7. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was about to crumble.
  8. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
  9. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
  10. Why does a flamingo lift one leg? Because if it lifted both it would fall over.

Comedy one-liners (21-30):

  1. I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to charge the camera.
  2. I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  3. I used to fear the speed bump outside my house, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  4. I told my wife she was acting like a drama queen. She replied, “Long live the queen.”
  5. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  7. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
  8. I’m not a fan of politicians. They’re always trying to get in touch with the people they used to avoid in high school.
  9. Why do wives of bus drivers have trouble getting pregnant? Because bus drivers tend to pull out unexpectedly.
  10. What does it mean when your doctor says you have six months to live? The message is you have five months to pay.
COMEDY ONE-LINERS
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However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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25 quotes by George Bernard Shaw to get you thinking

25 quotes by George Bernard Shaw

Today, I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the many quotes by George Bernard Shaw.

George Bernard Shaw was an Irish playwright, critic, and political activist.

His influence on Western theatre, culture, and politics extended from the 1880s to his death and indeed beyond.

Shaw was born in Dublin but moved to London in 1876, at the age of 20.

While he struggled to establish himself as a writer and novelist, he embarked on a rigorous process of self-education.

Views publicly expressed by Shaw were often contentious, and he courted unpopularity by denouncing both sides in the First World War (WW1).

Though not a Republican, he was also critical of British policy on Ireland in the post-WW1 period.

Shaw continued to write prolifically until shortly before his death, at the age of 94, and he left us with a legacy of interesting observations.

So, today I offer you 25 such observations in the form of quotes by George Bernard Shaw, all of which will make you think, I’m sure.

Take a few minutes to read these quotes and be inspired.

And please feel free to share them.

And if you’re on the move, take a look at the video version of the quotes below.

Quotes by George Bernard Shaw
Photo Credit: Alfred Stieglitz Collection
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Quotes by George Bernard Shaw (1-15):

  1. Youth is wasted on the young.
  2. Lack of money is the root of all evil.
  3. All great truths begin as blasphemies.
  4. He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
  5. The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
  6. A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
  7. Science never solves a problem without creating ten more.
  8. Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
  9. Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.
  10. There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.
  11. Take care to get what you like, or you’ll be forced to like what you get.
  12. We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
  13. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
  14. A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
  15. You see things and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were, and I say, ‘Why not?’

Quotes by George Bernard Shaw (16-25):

  1. The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
  2. Success does not consist in never making mistakes, but in never making the same one a second time.
  3. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
  4. Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
  5. Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men’s imperfections and conceal your own.
  6. When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So, I did ten times more work.
  7. The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.
  8. The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it and become blind to the arguments against it.
  9. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.
  10. The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.

Video with audio commentary:

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60 Truisms reflecting life and the human condition

I’m often guilty of using truisms to reinforce a message, particularly when I’m giving a presentation.

People will often say that while truisms are generally accepted as obvious truths when repeated frequently, they can seem boring or clichéd.

Well, I think they’re useful tools for making points about life and the human condition and, occasionally, raising a smile too.

We smile because we recognise the underlying truth, which is always at the heart of great wit.

Today, dear reader, I offer you 60 examples of truisms that I love and frequently use.

Take a few moments to review them all, and feel free to share them with your friends.

Alternatively, you might want to use some of these truisms yourself.

In that case, please see how many of them you can use in your conversations today.

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Examples of truisms (1-20):

  1. Life isn’t fair.
  2. The truth will out.
  3. Patience is a virtue.
  4. Money makes money.
  5. It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.
  6. Stupid is as stupid does.
  7. We’re all cremated equal.
  8. A friend in need is a pest.
  9. All that glitters is not gold.
  10. Some things never change.
  11. Money can’t buy happiness.
  12. You can’t argue with stupid.
  13. You’ll get what you tolerate.
  14. The end justifies the means.
  15. Life’s a bitch, and then you die.
  16. No one saves us but ourselves.
  17. He would say that wouldn’t he?
  18. No man can serve two masters.
  19. Everything happens for a reason.
  20. A penny saved is a penny earned.

Examples of truisms (21-40):

  1. You can observe a lot by watching.
  2. Personality cannot be Photoshopped.
  3. Necessity is the mother of invention.
  4. You must be a friend to have a friend.
  5. There’s always a price. Nothing’s free.
  6. If he were not dead, he’d still be alive.
  7. The apple never falls far from the tree.
  8. A fool and his money are easily parted.
  9. Good things come to those who hustle.
  10. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
  11. Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.
  12. I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
  13. Good people bring out the good in people.
  14. Chase two rabbits, and you’ll catch neither.
  15. A man is known by the company he keeps.
  16. Sometimes the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.
  17. A house divided against itself cannot stand.
  18. There’s always someone worse off than you.
  19. You can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.
  20. Gossip dies when it hits a wise person’s ears.

Examples of truisms (41-60):

  1. Your behaviour makes you the person you are.
  2. Money can’t buy life or the wag of a dog’s tail.
  3. You can’t get 10 pounds of crap into a 5-pound bag.
  4. You can only help someone who wants to be helped.
  5. The customer’s always right, even when he’s wrong.
  6. I don’t want to live forever, but I do want to live today.
  7. Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
  8. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
  9. Everything’s funny when it’s happening to someone else.
  10. For life to improve, we must take charge of our own lives.
  11. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.
  12. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.
  13. Smile, and the world smiles with you. Cry, and you cry alone.
  14. Dropped toast always lands jam-side down on a new carpet.
  15. The mirror doesn’t lie, but fortunately, it doesn’t laugh either.
  16. You are responsible for your own success and your own failure.
  17. It’s the rich that get the pleasure, and the rest get the pain.
  18. Beauty’s only skin deep, but ugly goes right through to the bone.
  19. I know what’s around the corner; I just don’t know where the corner is.
  20. There’s a difference between the truth and that which we wish were true.
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15 awesome quotes that are truly inspirational

Looking for some awesome quotes, dear reader? Well, I have 15 good ones for you today. I’m confident that they’ll all make you think, and they are truly inspirational.

Allow me to stress that the points made about the references to men in the quotes apply equally to women.

So, ladies, if you are using such a quote, feel free to substitute the word ‘woman’ for ‘man.’ There’s nothing wrong with a little poetic licence (or poetic license, depending on your preferred spelling).

Anyway, take a few moments to enjoy them all and be inspired.

And please feel free to pass them on.

AWESOME QUOTES
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Awesome Quotes:

  1. Years teach us more than books. ~Berthold Auerbach
  2. A wise man learns by the mistakes of others; a fool by his own. ~Latin Proverb
  3. By associating with wise people you will become wise yourself. ~Menander
  4. The wise man does at once what the fool does finally. ~Niccolo Machiavelli
  5. Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men. ~Harry Day
  6. A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion. ~Grantland Rice
  7. The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. ~Thomas Szasz
  8. The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence; the second is listening, the third is memory, the fourth is practice, and the fifth is teaching others. ~Solomon Ibn Gabriol
  9. The wise man should be prepared for everything that does not lie within his control. ~Pythagoras
  10. People often forget what we say but they will always remember how we made them feel. ~Author Unknown
  11. The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention. ~Oscar Wilde
  12. Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away. ~Sir Arthur Helps
  13. You will regret many things in life, but you will never regret being too kind or too fair. ~Brian Tracy
  14. Never underestimate the power of showing your appreciation. A simple thank you can mean so much to people. Let people know that you appreciate what they’ve done for you. ~Roy Sutton
  15. Life is very interesting; in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths. ~Drew Barrymore

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15 sharp and sometimes witty quotes by Mark Twain

Today, I’m exploring quotes by Mark Twain.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens is better known to us all by his pen name, Mark Twain.

In my opinion, he was one of the greatest American writers, as well as a humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.

In short, he was a significant talent, and much of what he had to say is still worthy of our attention.

Here are 15 quotes by Mark Twain to support my point.

QUOTES BY MARK TWAIN
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Quotes by Mark Twain:

  1. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. ~Mark Twain
  2. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. ~Mark Twain
  3. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. ~Mark Twain
  4. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. ~Mark Twain
  5. A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read. ~Mark Twain
  6. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. ~Mark Twain
  7. Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. ~Mark Twain
  8. Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others. ~Mark Twain
  9. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. ~Mark Twain
  10. Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. ~Mark Twain
  11. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. ~Mark Twain
  12. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~Mark Twain
  13. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain
  14. The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. ~Mark Twain
  15. I never let schooling interfere with my education. ~Mark Twain

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