21 Quotes by Larry David that’ll make you think

10/04/2024 by

If you were a fan of the US sitcom Seinfeld then you will be familiar with the name Larry David. He was the creator of that series along with Jerry Seinfeld and for me, it’s one the finest sitcoms of all time.

Lawrence Gene David, to give Larry David his full name, was born in Brooklyn, New York. He is a comedian, writer, actor, director, and television producer.

Larry David was Seinfeld’s head writer and executive producer from 1989 to 1997. He subsequently gained further recognition for the sitcom series Curb Your Enthusiasm, which he also created, and he stars as a semi-fictionalized version of himself.

Here are 21 quotes by Larry David which might make you think and some might even make you smile. All are well worth a few minutes of your time.

Quotes by Larry David (1-10):

  1. Golf and dating don’t mix.
  2. You write about what you know.
  3. You know, I’m really not that bright.
  4. Women love a self-confident bald man.
  5. I have reservations about everything I do.
  6. My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.
  7. I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
  8. If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny.
  9. Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
  10. I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about half an inch wide.

Quotes by Larry David (11-21):

  1. I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
  2. It’s always good to take something that’s happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
  3. I think that what people imagine they’re going through is much worse than what they are going through.
  4. Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man? There’s your diamond in the rough.
  5. I wanted to make a living but I really wasn’t interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
  6. When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
  7. I’m not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
  8. Whenever something good happens to me, it’s usually followed by something terrible.
  9. I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
  10. I think we’re all good and bad, but good’s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.
  11. I’m really only happy when I’m on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That’s what I’m all about – people and laughter.

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10 humor quotes to make you think and smile

10/03/2024 by

I just love humor quotes. I think humor is a serious business, or at least it should be because when we laugh we relax and surely that’s good for us all.

Just think about that for a minute.

It’s easy to dismiss humor as being an unnecessary distraction but it really is not. Humor is essential to our well-being.

If you don’t believe me, then read today’s quotes and then reflect on the opinions of so many great minds.

Today I offer you 10 humor quotes to make you think and to make you smile.

So check them out and then, if you fancy a good laugh, click on the links below the post and you’ll find plenty that will make you laugh out loud.

Humor Quotes:

  1. Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle
  2. A day without laughter is a day wasted. ~Charlie Chaplin
  3. Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. ~Peter Ustinov
  4. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. ~WC Fields
  5. A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. ~Mignon McLaughlin
  6. Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. ~Will Rogers
  7. It’s your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don’t take yourself too seriously, pretty soon you can find humor in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver. ~Betty White
  8. Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment. ~Grenville Kleiser
  9. I realize that humor isn’t for everyone. It’s only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life and feel alive. ~Anne Wilson Schaef
  10. A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road. ~Henry Ward Beecher

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Share the fun and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, share now.

And if you fancy some more laughs then just click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

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21 Quotes by Clint Eastwood you’ll just love

10/02/2024 by

If you’re looking for quotes by Clint Eastwood, this post’s for you, dear reader. I think Clint Eastwood has to be one of the coolest movie stars of all time, wouldn’t you agree?

He’s not only a movie star but also a noted filmmaker, musician, and political figure.

In a career of over 60 years, he’s given us so many memorable movies and numerous memorable lines from those movies. However, as a great influencer, he’s also made a few memorable quotes in his public life.

Here are 21 quotes by Clint Eastwood to prove my point.

Some quotes are by Clint as Clint, and some are by Clint playing the many memorable characters he played, such as Harry Callahan in Dirty Harry and, my personal favourite, Walt Kowalski in Gran Torino.

Whether they’re his quotes or those from the characters he’s played, they all give us a reason to reflect on life and the human condition.

So enjoy these 21 quotes by Clint Eastwood and see how many of them you can work into your day.

And for those quotes from his movies, how many of them can you match with the movies from which they came?

Quotes by Clint Eastwood (1-14):

  1. Men must know their limitations.
  2. Tomorrow is promised to no one.
  3. Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.
  4. If you think it’s going to rain, it will.
  5. There’s a rebel lying deep in my soul.
  6. If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
  7. I tried being reasonable but I didn’t like it.
  8. What you put into life is what you get out of it.
  9. Take your work seriously but don’t take yourself seriously.
  10. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
  11. Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.
  12. I’m interested in the fact that the less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice.
  13. Ever noticed how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have messed with? That’s me.
  14. Respect your efforts; respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt that’s real power.

Quotes by Clint Eastwood (15-21):

  1. I hate the idea of trends. I hate imitation; I have a reverence for individuality.
  2. There are two kinds of people in this world. ‘I’ people and ‘we’ people. I’ve always tried to be a ‘we’ person.
  3. Like most pictures that I’ve done, I’ve had no idea whether anyone would ever want to see ’em. But I figured I’d like to see it.
  4. If a person is confident enough in the way they feel, whether it’s an art form or whether it’s just in life, it comes off. You don’t have anything to prove; you can just be who you are.
  5. Extremism is so easy. You’ve got your position, and that’s it. It doesn’t take much thought. And when you go far enough to the right you meet the same idiots coming around from the left.
  6. Maybe I’m getting to the age when I`m starting to be senile or nostalgic or both, but people are so angry now. You used to be able to disagree with people and still be friends. Now you hear these talk shows, and everyone who believes differently from you is a moron and an idiot – both on the Right and the Left.
  7. I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

Video:

Bonus Quote:

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21 thought-provoking quotes about letting go

10/02/2024 by

Today I offer you some interesting quotes about letting go. Emotional attachments to people, employers, property and even to places and things affect us all occasionally.

And breaking an emotional attachment can be hard for anyone.

However, if you don’t let go, you can’t move on. You have to accept that not everyone and everything will stay with you permanently on your journey from the cradle to the grave.

Your life is simply a series of chapters and not everyone or everything is guaranteed a place in every chapter. That privilege is reserved only for you.

Think of it another way, are you happy with your life as it is or would you prefer it to be different in some way? If your response to that question is positive then you must let go of what is, if you’re to have what could be.

It is a fact that sometimes it will be necessary for you to be strong enough to let go, however hard that may prove to be.

To help you, here are 21 thought-provoking quotes to underline today’s message.

Quotes about letting go (1-7):

  1. You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away and know when to run. ~Don Schlitz
  2. You can’t move forward if you’re still hanging on. ~Sue Fitzmaurice
  3. There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go. ~Jessica Hatchigan
  4. Letting go means coming to the realization that some people are a part of your history but not a part of your destiny. ~Steve Maraboli
  5. Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There’s nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It’s not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love? ~Leo Buscaglia
  6. Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. ~Deborah Reber
  7. It’s hard to be clear about who you are when you are carrying around a bunch of baggage from the past. I’ve learned to let go and move more quickly into the next place. ~Angelina Jolie

Quotes about letting go (8-14):

  1. There’s a trick to the graceful exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over and then to let go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its value. ~Ellen Goodman
  2. Change can be good but it’s always tough to let go of the past. ~Emily Giffi
  3. I’m guilty of giving people more chances than they deserve but when I’m done, I’m done. ~Turcois Ominek
  4. You can meet someone who’s just right but he might not be meant for you. You break up; you lose things; you never feel the same again. But maybe you should stop questioning why. Maybe you should just accept it and move on. ~Winna Efendi
  5. Sometimes the door closes on a relationship, not because we failed but because something bigger than us says this no longer fits our life. So, lock the door, shed a tear, turn around and look for the new door that’s opened. It’s a sign that you’re no longer that person you were, it’s time to change into who you are. It’s going to be okay. ~Lee Goff
  6. No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on. ~Alexandra Elle
  7. Letting go of someone we love is the hardest thing we will ever do. Some people never surrender to love for the fear of being hurt. But to not have loved, to not have felt the immense joy it brings, would have been a far worse kind of death. ~Goldie Hawn

Quotes about letting go (15-21):

  1. It is by giving the freedom to the other that is by letting go, we gain our own freedom back. ~Aleksandra Ninkovic
  2. Accept the fact that you will grow apart from people you’ve had significant relationships with. Understand when someone no longer positively affects your life. Let them go. Don’t hinder your growth. ~Author Unknown
  3. If someone doesn’t care to accept you, respect you, believe in you, don’t hesitate to move on and let them go. There are many who love and appreciate you just the way you are. ~Amaka Imani Nkosazana
  4. You really don’t have to burn any bridges to let go. You don’t have to destroy anything. You can just decide to cross over and move on. ~Marta Mrotek
  5. Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn’t take a day, it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self. ~Tere Arigo
  6. The bottom line is this; when one person stops being a part of your life, another one will come and fill that empty space. Leave the ones who left in the past, right where they belong, and never look back. ~Ena Snow
  7. Just because someone has been in your life for many years, doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be a point at which you finally decide to let go. ~Wilfred James Dolor

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People really do love quotes, so share them now. You might just inspire a friend to take the next big step forward in life. When you share, everyone wins.

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Remember the golden age of flying?

10/01/2024 by

There was a golden age of flying, and I was lucky to experience some of it.

In my professional life, I was in an international role before I became a digital entrepreneur. So, I travelled by air a lot over many years. I have flown thousands of times in every class, including first. I even flew on Concorde back in the day. All of these were great experiences in those days, even when you were in the economy section.

However, that’s not the case today. Just recently I went on a trip to Gibraltar, and I was reminded of the challenges of modern air travel.

Fly economy today, and it’s a very different experience. There are no frills; you get very little space; and absolutely no comfort.

In the age of budget airlines, even the big players like British Airways have had to strip out costs to be able to compete on price.

So, flying has become inexpensive, relatively speaking, but it has come at a significant cost in terms of the overall experience. That’s life, I guess. You get what you pay for.

Anyway, whilst waiting for my economy class flight to Gibraltar, I set my experience to verse, and I share it with you today.

If you like it, please feel free to share it.

I’m sure most readers will recognise the challenges of modern air travel.

IN MEMORIAM: The Golden Age of Flying

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46 Bad jokes that are funny and will make you smile

10/01/2024 by

If you’re looking for some bad jokes that are funny and will make you smile, then here are 46 original jokes, written just for you, and which I hope you will enjoy.

Please feel free to pass them on.

Bad jokes that are funny (1–10):

I was asked whether I knew Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. What could I say? I didn’t even know Lincoln had a home in Gettysburg.

Have you heard about the new cookbook just published? It’s written by a well-known television adventurer and survival expert. It has some great tips for cooking meat on a campfire when you’re stuck in the jungle. The book’s called Bear Grills.

I had tickets to see a play at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre in London. I was excited until my boss said I had to work late on some project that I thought was a crock of that which stinks. I told him I’d lose my money if I didn’t go. He told me I’d lose my job if I didn’t work late. “That’s not fair,” I said. He smiled and said, “Well, it looks like you’re stuck between a crock and the Bard’s place.”

Did you hear the one about the man who walked into a bar? There was a warning sign, but he wasn’t paying attention.

I was leaving the subway at 42nd Street when I stumbled. I reached out and grabbed a pole. The guy wasn’t happy, and he started swearing at me in his own language.

Imagine my dilemma. It’s late at night, dark, and I’m walking alone along 9th Avenue through Hell’s Kitchen. Suddenly, I’m confronted by a sinister guy with a bat in his hand. It was tense, I can tell you, but then the bat flew off, and the guy went chasing after it.

The health inspector was inspecting the kitchen in the restaurant I managed, and he said he’d found a live beetle under the refrigerator. “Which one?” I said, “Paul or Ringo?”

When I was in school, I got into trouble for truancy. As it wasn’t the first time, I was told the principal would throw the book at me. She did. It was the Encyclopaedia Britannica.

I asked a girl in the office for a date. She said she didn’t have any, but she did ask whether I’d like one of the figs from her lunchbox.

The receptionist walked into my office, and she was shouting that she had an axe to grind. I told her that wasn’t something we dealt with in the Accounts Department.

Bad jokes that are funny (11–20):

My boss asked me whether I could date the letter he had in his hand, but I told him I preferred to date girls.

They asked me if I could play a bass. No, I said, but I can cook a mean seabream.

My mother asked me whether I’d received a letter at school today. “Yes,” I said, “I got a D in Science.”

My boss told me that I had a chip on my shoulder. Well, it might seem a bit odd, but there’s no law against using Pringles to accessorize your clothes.

The other day, I went down to the river, and there was a gang fight between a shoal of Carp and a shoal of Perch. I couldn’t quite comprehend what I was seeing until another angler said, “We’re fishing in troubled waters.”

Two electrons were the best of buddies. Well, why wouldn’t they be when they were both on the same wavelength?

My friend said, “I need help. Can I tap you for $1,000?” I said, “For $1,000, you can hit me over the head with a baseball bat.”

I’ve just read a statistic that suggests 65% of bald men still carry a comb. They just can’t part with it.

It was a cold night, and I was on the Staten Island Ferry, standing on deck, gazing out at the Statue of Liberty. A guy approached me, waving an unlit cigarette, and he said, “Got a light, Mac?” I smiled and said, “No, but can I offer you a dark brown overcoat?”

I was in a coffee shop in Manhattan, and I couldn’t get the Wi-Fi to work. I asked the girl behind the counter to help me. She said it was faulty, and I’d have to pretend it was 1973. So, I gave her a dime for my coffee and lit up a cigarette.

Bad jokes that are funny (21-30):

When my wife came down to breakfast, she asked what was left. Apparently, the opposite of right wasn’t helpful.

We were in the garden, and my wife said she was looking for a pole. She wasn’t amused when I asked, “Which one, north or south?”

I’ve just seen a twelve-inch ruler. You wouldn’t think someone so small could become a nation’s monarch, would you?

I was looking forward to my lunch date, but my friends just dismissed it as a sweet Middle Eastern fruit.

How was my trip? Let me tell you, how was my trip? I fell flat on my face and broke my nose.

Did you know that the song overwhelmingly voted favourite by textile workers everywhere is Die Another Day?

At the job interview, I was asked if I could perform under pressure. “No,” I said, “but I could probably do a passable version of Bohemian Rhapsody.”

The questionnaire asked whether I liked rock. It wasn’t obvious whether they meant riff-driven popular music or the famous sweet confectionery from Blackpool.

I’m so old that I can remember when the Super Bowl was just the slightly inflated bowl.

This morning, I noticed I had a large mole on my back. How it got in from the garden, I’ll never know.

Bad jokes that are funny (30–40):

I started work on a construction site, and the foreman asked me whether I was familiar with boring. “Sure,” I said. “I can be as boring as the best of them.”

My wife said she was looking for a ruler. Apparently, you’ll find King Charles in Buckingham Palace, wasn’t helpful.

When the waitress served my toast this morning, she asked me what I thought of the jam. “They’re okay,” I said, “but I prefer the Electric Light Orchestra.”

I asked a friend could he recommend a small arms manufacturer. He said, “Have you tried Smith & Wesson?” I said, “I didn’t even know they made prosthetic limbs for young children.”

A girl in the office received a bunch of flowers this morning with all the heads cut off. I think she might have a stalker.

On a day out in the country, I walked into a wood. That’s nice, you might think. Well, before long, I’d walked into a Smith, a Jones, and a Barrington-Smyth too. I really must get my eyes tested.

My wife asked me if I knew her favourite flower. Recognizing a loaded question, I thought about it very carefully before I responded. Then I said, “Self-raising?”  She hasn’t spoken to me since.

Teacher: Give me a sentence that includes the words defence, defeat, and detail. Little Johnny: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first and then detail.

We were walking through Central Park when my wife shouted, “Duck!” Naturally, I dipped my head as I looked up for an airborne obstacle. That was when I tripped over a large Wood duck, fell flat on my face, and broke my nose. The Moral of the Story: Consider your wife’s advice carefully before acting.

Dr Rivera was a trauma specialist in A&E known for his insensitive bedside manner. One day, a casualty was brought in following a gas explosion. The patient’s wife arrived and asked the doctor, “Can you tell me whether my husband will have any long-term effects from the explosion?” Dr Rivera thought about her question momentarily and then said, “At this stage, all I can say with certainty is that he’ll be no good in a Mexican wave.

Bad jokes that are funny (40–46):

I keep seeing signs which read, Bill Posters Will Be Prosecuted. I don’t know what he’s done but this guy Posters must be one bad boy.

The guy asked me whether I knew Centre Parcs. “No,” I said, “but I think I know his brother Bill.”

I applied for a job as security staff in a nightclub, and at the interview, they asked me if I knew martial arts. “I don’t think so,” I said. “What’s his first name?”

I used a computer in the local library to order something online. When I was done, my wife asked if I’d cleared the cache. “Why?” I said. “I used my credit card.” 

We were going clothes shopping, and my wife suggested I buy a jacket. I said, “Great idea! Let’s go to Spud-u-Like.”

A drunken scouser staggers into a public house on Lime Street with a large, beautiful, brightly-coloured Scarlet Macaw on his shoulder. The drunk staggers up to the bar, and the bartender says, “Wow, where did you get that?” “Oh,” says the macaw, “Lime Street’s full of them at this time of night.”

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So, dear reader, did any of these bad jokes that are funny prove to be as funny as you’d hoped?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read today, please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share it now, then I would be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

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8 really funny jokes that will make you smile

10/01/2024 by

If you’re like me, you enjoy really funny jokes. Something to make you laugh and brighten the day. Well, here are eight really funny jokes that all made me smile today.

I hope you enjoy them.

And, if you do, please feel free to pass them on.

Really Funny Jokes:

1. Money’s too tight to mention:

Two old friends, Mary and Jane, were going shopping.

Mary was a spendthrift and she had a bad habit of constantly overdrawing her bank account.

Before leaving for the mall, Jane complained about her own lack of funds and sadly lamented, “If I buy anything, I guess I’ll have to use plastic.”

Unconcerned, Mary whipped out her chequebook and said, “Well I’ll be using rubber.”

2. Blood from a stone:

A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s wealthy banker, so the director decided to make a phone call.

“Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”

The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”

“Um, no,” mumbled the director.

“Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?” the banker continued.

“I … I … I had no idea,”  the director admitted.

“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”

3. Verifying your cheque:

The store clerk requested identification from a customer who had just written a personal cheque for her purchase.

After fumbling through her purse, she presented him with what she said was the only thing she had that bore both her name and address. It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank. 

4. Asking for charity:

A devastated-looking man knocks on the door of a woman known for her charity.

“Please, ma’am,” he says when she opens up, “can you help this poor, tragic family down the block? The father just lost his job, and his wife is too ill to work. They’re about to be turned out into the cold streets unless someone can pay their rent.”

“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life!” says the woman. “May I ask who you are?”

“I’m their landlord.”

 5. Ways of seeing:

Teenager, Billy lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.

After a brief but fruitless search, Billy gave up. His mother took up the cause and within minutes she’d found the lens.

“How did you do that?” he asked.

“We weren’t looking for the same thing Billy,” she explained. “You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”

6. The rooster:

A farmer decided he wanted to go into town to see a movie.

As he was standing in line for a ticket, the ticket agent says to him. “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?”

“Well,” said the farmer, “this here’s my pet rooster, Chuck. I never go anywhere without Chuck.”

“Sir, I’m sorry,” the ticket agent responds, “but we don’t allow any animals in the auditorium.”

Now the farmer is a wily old operator, and he knows how to work around a problem.

So, he disappears around the corner and stuffs the rooster down his overalls. Then he returns to the ticket booth, buys a ticket, and walks off to take his seat.

On this occasion, he’s seated next to two old women, Maude and Daisy.

The movie starts and naturally, the rooster begins to get restless. So, the old farmer unbuttons his fly so Chuck could stick his head out to watch the movie.

“Daisy,” says Maude, whispering.

“What is it, Maude?” Daisy responds.

“I think the guy next to me is a pervert.”

“What makes you think so?” Daisy asks.

“He just undid his pants, and he’s got his thing out,” whispers Maude.

“So, why worry?” Daisy responds, “at your age, it’s not like you haven’t seen one before. When you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

“Well, that’s what I thought,” Maude responded, “but this one’s eating my popcorn.“

7. Devoted wife:

Harry is on his deathbed, and he says to his wife, “Mabel, I will be gone soon, and there’s something I must ask you. In these 50 years of our marriage, have you ever been unfaithful to me?“

“Well, Harry,” Mabel replied, “I must be honest with you. I was unfaithful on three occasions during these past 50 years, but always with good reason.“

“Really?” said Harry, hurt by Mabel’s confession. “I didn’t suspect anything. Can you tell me your reasons?“

Mabel sighed and said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our house because we couldn’t afford to pay the mortgage. Do you remember that evening I went to see the banker, and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?“

Harry remembered the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?“

Mabel hesitated momentarily and then said, “Do you remember when you had heart problems and we didn’t have enough money to pay your medical bills? I went to see your doctor one night, and if you recall, he did the bypass surgery at no charge.“

“Oh, yes,” said Harry, “How could I forget, Mabel? You saved my life, so I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

“Well,” Mabel continued, “do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed to be sure you could count on all 15 votes from the committee members?“

8. The Lesson:

While walking along Pennsylvania Avenue, a congressman is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

Suddenly he finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates in front of St. Peter.

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter.

The congressman is still a little confused, given his circumstances, but thanks St Peter for his welcome.

“Now,” St Peter continues, “before you settle in, there is an issue. We seldom see politicians here, so we’re never quite sure what to do with you. However, we do have a procedure.”

“So, what happens now?” asks the congressman.

“Well,” says St Peter, “What we’ll do is have you spend a day in Hell followed by a day in Heaven. Then you can choose where you’ll spend eternity.”

With that, St. Peter escorts the congressman to an elevator and down he goes to Hell.

A few moments later, the elevator door opens, and the congressman finds himself standing in the clubhouse of the most amazing golf course he’d ever seen. Standing in front of him were all his old Washington buddies and other politicians who’d predeceased him.

They’re all having a great time, drinking, laughing and joking. When they see him, they greet him warmly, shake his hand, and reminisce about all the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of ordinary people. They invite him to play a game of golf and then afterwards they all dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

The devil joins them for dinner. The congressman is amazed at how friendly and caring the devil is. Nothing like he had imagined.

They were all having the most amazing time when the devil suggested it was probably time for the congressman to complete the process with St Peter.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and a wave as the elevator rises back up to the Pearly Gates. Suddenly the door opens and St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Well,” says St Peter, “now it’s time to visit Heaven.”

The time passes with the congressman joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. The time they had was pleasant enough if a little underwhelming, but it passed quickly. Before he realizes it, the congressman is back with St Peter.

“Well, now,” says St Peter, “you’ve seen what Heaven and Hell have to offer, so you must now make a choice.”

The congressman reflects on his options momentarily, then says, “Well, pleasant as Heaven was, what the devil has to offer me seems like a much better deal. So, I’ll opt for Hell.”

So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and back he goes down to Hell for all eternity.

When the elevator door opens, the congressman finds himself in a stinking hellhole full of waste and garbage. Once again, he sees his friends, but they’re dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The smell is terrible.

The congressman struggles to comprehend what he’s seeing as the devil arrives to greet him. “I don’t understand,” the congressman says to the devil, “this is not what I voted for.”

The devil smiles at him.

“Yesterday,” continues the congressman, “when I was here, there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. How can this possibly be what I voted for?”

Once again, the devil smiles at him and says, “Ah, yes, you’ve noticed. Well, you see, yesterday I was campaigning. Today I have your vote. So, now you know how ordinary people feel.”

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27 people quotes from the people about the people

09/30/2024 by

Today I’ve pulled together some people quotes from the people about the people because we can learn so much from other people, I’m sure you’ll agree.

People can be our role models. They can also serve as a warning to us.

People can make us laugh and they can make us cry, of course. And they can drive us nuts occasionally too.

However we might feel about people though, we cannot live without them because we’re all social animals. People are not solitary animals like cats.

Here are 27 people quotes that offer different views on how other people see the world.

I think that there are some great quotes here so please take a few minutes to enjoy them all.

And please share them.

People Quotes (1-15):

  1. I like people that enjoy life, ’cause I do the same. ~Lil Wayne
  2. People may hear your words but they feel your attitude. ~John C. Maxwell
  3. Don’t worry about what people say or what they think. Be yourself. ~Brett Hull
  4. I don’t want other people to decide who I am. I want to decide that for myself. ~Emma Watson
  5. No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. ~Robin Williams
  6. Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen. ~Wayne Huizenga
  7. People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy. ~Anton Chekhov
  8. I follow three rules: Do the right thing, do the best you can, and always show people you care. ~Lou Holtz
  9. They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. ~Bil Keane
  10. Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who’ll argue with you. ~John Wooden
  11. A nation’s culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  12. A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots. ~Marcus Garvey
  13. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
  14. The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best. ~Epictetus
  15. Great things in business are never done by one person. They’re done by a team of people. ~Steve Jobs

People Quotes (16-27):

  1. It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. ~Mark Twain
  2. Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose. ~Bill Gates
  3. Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust
  4. If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love. ~Maya Angelou
  5. You see, God helps only people who work hard. That principle is very clear. ~APJ Abdul Kalam
  6. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. ~Isaac Asimov
  7. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other. ~John Adams
  8. The most important thing is to try and inspire people so that they can be great in whatever they want to do. ~Kobe Bryant
  9. You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. ~Abraham Lincoln
  10. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~Bertrand Russell
  11. Some people say I have attitude – maybe I do… but I think you have to. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does – that makes you a winner right there. ~Venus Williams
  12. People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. ~George Orwell

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The 4 steps to financial freedom

09/29/2024 by

Financial peace isn’t the acquisition of stuff. It’s learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can’t win until you do this. ~Dave Ramsey

Many people are searching for the steps to financial freedom. Search the internet and there will be references to seven, eight, nine, and even ten steps but I think only four steps matter.

However before I discuss those steps, let us first think about the biggest cause of people remaining poor, namely the debt burden.

Statistics suggest that most people these days are heavily in debt. And debt is a burden that enslaves us. Knowing we have debts can be stressful.

What is the underlying cause of such debt? That’s simple. Mostly it’s the overuse of credit cards with little or no thought to how this will affect our financial well-being.

Unsecured debt built up through the excessive use of credit cards is expensive. Very, very expensive!

That means even a small sum outstanding on a credit card can quickly become a large debt due to the effect of compound interest if you only make the minimum payment each month.

Are you affected by debt, dear reader? Are your finances out of control? Would you like to achieve financial freedom?

Steps to Financial Freedom:

People often say, “If only I could increase my income, I could pay off my debts.”

Those same people, if they did increase their income, would probably just spend more. And financial freedom would remain a distant dream.

If financial freedom is your aim, then you must take control of your finances. The steps to financial freedom are as follows:-

1. Spend less than you earn:

It all starts with spending less than you earn. If you spend less than you earn, you can work on becoming debt-free and then start to build capital.

2. Pay yourself first:

You must always pay yourself first. What does that mean? It means that as soon as you get paid each month, you take a minimum of 10% of what you earn and put it away somewhere safe immediately.

Never, ever wait until the end of the month to see what you’ve got left.

If you do that, you’ll never save anything.

If you take 10% upfront, it will just be another debit on your income like taxes and pension contributions. You’ll quickly get used to having only the remaining 90% to live on.

And what do you do with the 10% or whatever you’ve put away?

3. Eliminate credit card debt:

Initially, if you have a credit card debt burden, then it makes sense to use that money to deal with paying off your debt first because the interest you’ll pay on the debt is always greater than any interest you’ll get on savings.

To pay off your credit card debt, you must find a way to eliminate the interest element each month so that any payments you then make go against the outstanding balance.

And how is that done?

Well, when you take out a new credit card account, it often comes with a period of zero interest, usually six months. These accounts also usually allow you to transfer in outstanding debt from another credit card account.

So by moving from one card provider to another and transferring the debt across to the new account, you then have a period of six months to make payments against the outstanding balance without accumulating interest on the old debt.

Never, ever use this card to increase your debt. Use it only to reduce your debt.

At the end of the period of zero interest on your new card, repeat the process if necessary. Once again, you move to another card account offering you a zero-interest period. By focusing only on the outstanding balance, it will be paid off sooner.

Eliminating the burden of debt is the first step on the road to financial freedom.

Freedom from debt will give you peace of mind. And that peace of mind is a good reason for spending less than you earn.

Once the debt is cleared, what next with the money you’ve paid yourself first?

4. Build capital:

Initially, put your money into a savings account. Then, as that builds into a larger sum, you can start thinking about other forms of investment like stocks, bonds, and property.

Once you develop the habit of putting some of your money away each month, it’s amazing how quickly it accumulates into a decent capital sum, and you’ll be on the road to achieving financial freedom.

Conclusion:

Learn to live within your means.

If you live modestly and spend your money wisely, you can ensure that you have enough money when you need it.

You can also build that nest egg for your retirement and give a little back to those less fortunate than yourself. And you’ll feel so much better about yourself too.

Conversely, gathering too much clutter through excessive spending on things you don’t need can become stressful, as well as wasteful. The choice is yours.

Financial freedom is achievable, and it will give you peace of mind.

You will sleep better knowing you’re debt-free.

The steps to financial freedom are quite simple. Spend less than you earn; pay yourself first; eliminate expensive credit card debt; and start building capital.

Do this, and one day your older self will be grateful you made the effort, I can assure you.

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25 quotes to inspire success and encourage progress

09/28/2024 by

Looking for some quotes to inspire success, dear reader? Do you crave success for yourself?

Well, what would real success look like to you?

Success is different for everyone, of course. It’s all a matter of opinion really. One person’s ceiling is another person’s floor, as they say.

However, regardless of how you define it, success won’t happen unless you make it happen. And to make it happen you’ll need a little inspiration occasionally.

So today I’ve pulled together 25 quotes to inspire success.

Whatever real success looks like for you dear reader, let me tell you, it can be achieved. Just believe you can and you will.

Yes, it requires determination and hard work. Yes, you’ll need the occasional bit of luck along the way. Nevertheless, it can be done and people do. And so can you!

Quotes to Inspire Success (1-15):

  1. Fortune befriends the bold. ~Emily Dickinson
  2. Opportunities don’t happen. You create them. ~Chris Grosser
  3. I never dreamed about success, I worked for it. ~Estee Lauder
  4. Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion. ~Tony Hsieh
  5. In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. ~Nikos Kazantzakis
  6. Success is the sum of small efforts – repeated day in and day out. ~Robert Collier
  7. If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time. ~Steve Jobs
  8. Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. ~William Feather
  9. Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose. ~Bill Gates
  10. However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. ~Stephen Hawking
  11. Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.” ~Henry David Thoreau
  12. Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts. ~Winston S. Churchill
  13. Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. ~David Frost
  14. Success is about creating benefits for all and enjoying the process. If you focus on this and adopt this definition, success is yours. ~Kelly Kim
  15. The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself. ~Mark Caine

Quotes to Inspire Success (16-25):

  1. The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. ~Vince Lombardi
  2. Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better. ~Jim Rohn
  3. I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite. ~GK Chesterton
  4. There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. ~Colin Powell
  5. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. ~Conrad Hilton
  6. If you don’t value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents. Value what you know and start charging for it. ~Kim Garst
  7. Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. ~Albert Schweitzer
  8. Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek. ~Mario Andretti
  9. Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which one has overcome. ~Booker T. Washington
  10. Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds. ~Orison Swett Marden

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