5 entertaining jokes guaranteed to raise a laugh or two

08/08/2023 by

entertaining jokesIf you enjoy entertaining jokes then here are five that I’m confident will make you smile.

Enjoy them all and share them all with your friends.

Entertaining jokes:

1. Softball fanatics:

Two 90-year-old women, Mabel and Lily, had been the best of friends all of their lives.

Now Mabel had been in poor health for a couple of years and it was clear that her last days were not too far away. Naturally, her good friend Lily visited her every single day.

One day as they were chatting, Lily said, “Mabel, we’ve both enjoyed playing softball all our lives. All through high school and ever since we really enjoyed playing the game we both love. So, do me a great favour. When you get to Heaven, please find a way to let me know whether I’ll be able to play softball with you when we’re both there.”

Mabel looked up from her deathbed and said, “Lily, you’ve been my best friend since we were children. If it’s at all possible, I will do this favour for you.”

They were to be Mabel’s last words because, sadly, she passed away silently in her sleep that very night.

The following night, Lily was awakened suddenly from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light, and a voice calling out to her, “Lily, Lily!”

“Who is it?” said Lily.

“Lily,” said the voice, “it’s me, your friend Mabel.”

“You can’t be Mabel,” said Lily. “Mabel passed away yesterday.”

“Lily, it is me, Mabel,” insisted the voice.

“Mabel, where are you then?” asked Lily.

“I’m in Heaven,” said Mabel. “I’ve got some good news for you and a little bad news too.”

“What’s the good news?” asked Lily.

“Well, the good news is that women’s softball is played in Heaven,” said Mabel.

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” said Lily.

“Better still,” said Mabel, “all of our old buddies who died before me are here to play with too.”

“Really?” said Lily.

“Yes,” Mabel responded. “And even better than that, we’re all young again, it’s always springtime up here, and it never rains or snows. We can play softball whenever we want, and we never get tired.”

“Wow,” said Lily “that’s fantastic. So, what’s the bad news?”

“You’ll be pitching next Tuesday?” Mabel responded.

2. Married bliss:

Jim and Jean had been married for over 30 years and, in all that time, they’d never fought, not even once.

One day, Jim and his friend Bill were talking and Bill was impressed to hear about what sounded like such a harmonious relationship.

“How is that even possible?” Bill asked.

“Well,” said Jim, “when we got married, we stayed at my late uncle’s Texas ranch for our honeymoon. On the first day we went out horse riding and we hadn’t gone far before Jean’s horse jumped and she fell off.”

“Really?” Bill exclaimed. “So, what happened then?”

“Well, as cool as you like,” said Jim, “Jean just got up, patted the horse and then said, ‘This is your first time!’.”

“Wow!” said Bill.

“After a while,” Jim continued, “it happened again. And again, Jean just got up, patted the horse and said, ‘This is your second time!’.”

“I’m guessing that’s not the end of the story,” said Bill.

“No,” said Jim. “It happened again, and this time she pulled out a gun and shot the horse.”

“No!” said a very surprised Bill. “What happened then?”

“I shouted at her,” said Jim. “Are you crazy? You’ve just killed a perfectly innocent animal!”

Jim paused momentarily and then continued, “She gave me a menacing look and then said, ‘This is your first time!’.”

3. Smart sheepdog:

A farmer wants to check how many sheep he has in his field.

So he decides to ask his sheepdog to count them all.

The dog runs into the field, counts them all and runs back to the farmer.

“How many?” the farmer asks.

“Forty,” says the dog.

“How can there be forty,” the farmer asks, “I only bought thirty-eight.”

“I rounded them up,” the dog responded.

4. Caring son:

“Hello,” said the voice. “Is this the Police?”

“Yes,” said the operator, “How can we help you?”

“I’m calling to report Jim Brown,” said the voice.

“Why?” said the operator, “What’s he done?”

“He’s hiding drugs inside his wood store,” said the voice.

That very evening, after dark, the police swooped on the house of Jim Brown.

They search his wood store thoroughly and then, with sharp axes, they chop up every log, reducing them all to pieces of firewood.

The Police find absolutely nothing and so they leave empty-handed.

The next day, Jim Brown receives a telephone call from his son.

“Hi Dad, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come over to help you yesterday but did the Police arrive?” asked his son.

“Yes,” Jim responded.

“Did they chop up all your firewood?” his son asks.

“Yes, they did,” says Jim.

“That’s great Dad,” says his son, “Happy birthday!”

entertaining-jokes5. The trip to Rome:

Jane was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled and ready for a trip to Rome with her husband.

Naturally, Jane is talking with her hairdresser and she mentions how excited she is to be going on her forthcoming trip to the Eternal City.

“Rome?” said the hairdresser. “Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?“

“Well,” said Jane, “we’re flying American Airlines and we got a really great deal on the tickets!“

“Oh, I just hate American Airlines,” said the hairdresser. “Their planes are old, their inflight service is terrible and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?“

“We’ll be staying at this exclusive little place called the Hotel Splendide Royal,” Jane responded. “Oh, I just can’t wait.”

Stop right there,” said the hairdresser. “I’ve heard about that place. Everybody thinks it’s special, but my friend told me it’s actually a real dump. So, what will you do whilst you’re there?“

“We’re going to see the Vatican,” said Jane, “and maybe we might even get to see the Pope.“

The hairdresser laughed, “You and a million other people will be trying to see the Pope and, even if you do, he’ll look the size of an ant, you’ll be so far away. Sounds like a lousy trip. I wish you luck because you’re going to need it.“

Six weeks later, Jane’s back from her trip and sitting in the same hairdresser’s having her hair styled once again.

Naturally, the hairdresser is interested to hear all about Jane’s trip to Rome.

“Oh, it was wonderful,” said Jane, “the best vacation ever.”

“Really!” said the hairdresser. “In what way was it so great?”

“Well, first off, the brand new plane we travelled on was overbooked and so American Airlines very kindly upgraded us to First Class at no charge,” said Jane. “The inflight service was terrific, the food and wine were just wonderful, we arrived bang on time, and the cabin crew couldn’t have been more attentive throughout the journey.”

“So, you got lucky with the flight,” said the hairdresser sarcastically. “How was the hotel?”

“Oh, my goodness, it couldn’t have been better,” said Jane. “It had recently had a major makeover, and because it was overbooked, we got upgraded to a suite, at no charge. Best hotel experience ever.”

“Well, lucky you,” muttered the hairdresser. “I’ll bet you didn’t get to see the Pope though.“

“Actually, we were very lucky,” said Jane. “We were walking around the Vatican when a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and said that the Pope would like to speak with me.”

“Oh, really!” said the hairdresser. “And what did the Pope have to say when you met him?“

“He said, my God woman, who made such a terrible mess of your hair?” said Jane with a smile.

Please share these entertaining jokes:

So dear reader, were any of these entertaining jokes as amusing as you’d hoped? Did any of them really make you smile?

If you did enjoy this post then please share it with your friends on social media.

People really do enjoy entertaining jokes, so please share this post now.

If you could share this post for me now then I’d be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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9 funny jokes to tell your friends in the bar after work

08/04/2023 by

9 FUNNY JOKES to tell your friends in the bar after workIf you’re looking for some funny jokes to tell your friends in the bar after work, then look no further.

There are some excellent ones here. Well, I think so, anyway.

I hope you enjoy them all too. If you do, please feel free to pass them on.

Funny jokes to tell:

1. Turning a problem into an opportunity:

A young guy named Jim meets a farmer in a bar.

They get talking over a beer at the counter and very soon Jim’s bought a horse from the farmer unseen for $250. Not only has he not seen the nag, Jim even agreed to pay upfront too.

The farmer agrees to deliver the horse to Jim’s home the next day.

Sure enough the next morning the farmer arrives at Jim’s home but the news is not quite what Jim is expecting.

“Sorry, son,” says the farmer, “but unfortunately the horse has died.”

“Well,” says Jim, “just give me back my money.”

“Sorry, son,” responds the farmer, “I can’t do that because I’ve already spent your money.”

“Well, in that case,” says Jim, “just bring me the dead horse.”

“What are you going to do with a dead horse?” asks the farmer.

“I’ll raffle him off, to get my money back,” says Jim.

“You can’t raffle a dead horse!” exclaims the farmer, sounding a little surprised.

“Sure, I can. Just watch me!” says Jim. “I just won’t mention the fact that the horse is dead.”

A couple of months later, the farmer bumps into Jim in the same bar where they met originally.

“Hi,” says the farmer. “Tell me, what happened to the dead horse?”

“I raffled him off like I said I would,” Jim responds.

“Oh really, and how did that go?” asks the farmer.

“It was brilliant,” says Jim. “I sold 1,000 raffle tickets at $5 each and after what I gave you for the horse plus expenses, I made $4,575 profit.”

“Really?” says the farmer. “Didn’t anyone complain about the horse being dead?”

“Yes,” says Jim, “the guy who won. So I gave him back his five dollars.”

2. The power of flight:

Bill walks into a bar located on the roof terrace of a skyscraper in downtown Metropolis.

Bill’s standing at the counter waiting to be served, when the guy next to him offers him a sip of his cocktail.

“Take a sip of this cocktail buddy,” the guy says, slurring his words. “It’s a special drink and it will give you the power of flight.”

“Oh, that’s got to be nonsense,” says Bill. “There’s no way taking a sip of someone’s drink will have me flying around the rooftops of Metropolis.”

“Would I lie to you?” the guy says to Bill. “Let me show you.”

With that, the guy swallows the contents of the glass, then jumps off the roof, flies around in a wide circle and then glides smoothly back onto the roof terrace.

Bill is amazed by what he’s just witnessed. So he says to the bartender, “I’ll have whatever he’s been drinking.”

Bill is served the same cocktail which he swallows in one and then he attempts to jump off the roof but falls flat on his face on the edge of the roof terrace.

The bartender looks at the guy who’d encouraged Bill to try the cocktail and says, “Dammit, you really are a nuisance to other customers when you’re drunk Superman.”

3. Customer needs:

I was in Walmart just before Thanksgiving this year.

A lady was looking through a pile of frozen turkeys but she couldn’t seem to find one big enough for her needs.

I heard her speak with the clerk and she said, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

“No, mam!” he replied. “They’re all dead.”

Well, it made me smile.

4. Generous spirit:

I bumped into a woman outside the shopping mall who was crying because she’d just lost $200.

I felt really sorry for her, so I gave her $50 from the $200 I’d just found.

Well, when God smiles at you, it’s only right that you share your good fortune with those less fortunate than you.

5. Getting things done:

Yesterday, Mary’s husband Jim thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen.

So, naturally, Jim sprayed everything down very carefully and then cleaned the entire kitchen thoroughly from wall to wall and floor to ceiling. Absolutely nothing escaped his cleaning regime. When he’d finished the kitchen sparkled like new.

Today, Mary put the cockroach in the bathroom.

Moral of the Story: Never, ever underestimate a woman’s cunning.

6. Corny joke of the week:

Last night I saw two cows playing poker whilst smoking a couple of huge spliffs.

Yes, that’s right! The steaks were high.

7. Caught out:

Jane arrived in the office one morning and her boss said to her, “Jane, do you believe in life after death?”

Looking slightly puzzled, she responded, “Well, I’m not aware that there’s any proof it exists.”

“Well, in that case,” her boss said, “you might be interested to know that after you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral, he came into the office looking for you.”

8. The art of tact:

Jim is planning to take his new lady friend on a two-week cruise around the islands of the Eastern Caribbean. However, he has one problem, he needs someone to take care of his cat and his elderly father.

After a little searching around his friends, Jim’s old High School buddy Billy Bob volunteers to act as caretaker.

So, Jim and his lady friend go off on their cruise and for a few days’ life is good.

Then, suddenly, Jim receives an email from Billy Bob on his smartphone.

The message simply reads, “Jim, your cat was hit by a car and it’s dead. Regards, Billy Bob.“

Well, Jim thinks that’s a brutal way of letting him know about the fate of his beloved pet, so he phones Billy Bob immediately to tell him so.

“Listen, buddy,” says Jim. “You could have been a bit more sensitive and tactful in the way you let me know about my cat.”

Well, Billy Bob doesn’t quite understand. “What do you mean, buddy?”

“Well,” Jim responds, “it would have been better if you’d adopted a three-email strategy.”

“What in hell is a three-email strategy?” asks Billy Bob.

“Look, it’s easy,” says Jim. “In the first email, you start off by saying, I just wanted to let you know your cat’s been climbing trees.”

“Right, and then what?” asks Billy Bob.

“Well, the next day you send a second message, saying your cat’s fallen out of a tree and hurt its paw,” says Jim.

“And, then what?” asks Billy Bob.

“Well, finally,” Jim continues, “the following day, you send a third message saying, after falling out of a tree and hurting its paw, the cat was hit by a car and sadly it’s dead. With this strategy, at least I get a chance to slowly come to terms with my loss.”

“Gotcha,” says Billy Bob, “I’ll remember that next time.”

A few more days go by and Jim’s enjoying his vacation when suddenly he receives another email which reads, “Jim, I just wanted to let you know your father’s been climbing trees. Regards, Billy Bob.”

9. Very early Christmas joke:

Three buddies had been having more than a few drinks in a series of Manhattan bars on Christmas Eve.

They’re staggering along Broadway trying to cross the street when they’re all hit by a truck and killed.

In the blink of an eye, they find themselves standing in front of St Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Gentlemen,” says St Peter, “to get into Heaven at this time of year, you must have something on you that represents Christmas.”

The first guy, Jim, flicks his cigarette lighter and says to St Peter, “The flame represents the light that Christmas brings to our lives.”

“Very good,” says St Peter. “James, you may make your way through the Pearly Gates.”

The second guy, Stan, jingles his car keys and then says, “They represent the jingle of Santa’s sleigh bells.”

“Very good,” says St Peter. “Stanley, you may make your way through the Pearly Gates.”

St Peter then looks at the last guy, Mick, who is staggering all over the place and rummaging around in his pockets.

Eventually, Mick pulls out some items of ladies’ underwear from his jacket pocket and holds them up for St Peter to see,

With a puzzled look on his face, St Peter asks, “Michael, how do these items represent Christmas?”

“Oh, they’re Carol’s,” said Mick, with a sheepish grin.

Please share these funny jokes to tell:

quotes about changeSo dear reader, were any of the funny jokes to tell actually amusing? Did any of them make you smile?

If you did enjoy this post then please share it with your friends on social media.

People really do enjoy funny jokes, so please share this post now.

If you could share this post for me now then I’d be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

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10 short funny jokes that will make you smile

07/19/2023 by

SHORT FUNNY JOKESLooking for some short funny jokes to cheer you up? Well, here are 10 that I am confident might just make you smile. Enjoy them all.

Short Funny Jokes:

1. Communication problem:

Bill is working away from home one winter’s morning and the weather’s very, very cold outside.

Suddenly he receives a text message from his wife, Jane. The message reads, “Windows frozen; won’t open.”

Naturally, Bill wants to ensure his wife doesn’t experience any major problems whilst he’s away, so he sends an immediate response. His message reads, “Carefully pour some warm water over it and then gently tap the edges with a hammer.”

Thinking he’s done all he needs to do to resolve Jane’s problem, Bill gets on with his busy schedule.

However, within minutes, he gets another message from Jane, which reads, “The computer’s really messed up now!”

2. Minor indiscretion:

I was surprised to read a story in today’s newspaper about a guy I’d known at High School.

He was a brilliant, hardworking guy who’d followed his High School years with seven years of medical training. Now it seems, due to one minor indiscretion he’s been struck off.

Apparently, as the article suggested, he’d slept with one of his patients.

Now judge him if you must but, as a result of this indiscretion he can no longer work in a profession he loved and for which he’d trained so hard, so long and at great cost. That seems to me like a complete waste of time, effort and money.

It seems a shame because I always thought he was a really nice guy and, I’m told, he was an absolutely brilliant vet.

3. Lottery winner:

A man asked his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?”

“That’s easy,” she replied. “I’d take half of your winnings and then I’d leave you.”

“Great!” said the husband. “I won $10, so here’s $5. Stay in touch.”

4. Blond man joke #1:

A blond man frantically phones the maternity hospital and shouts down the phone, “My wife’s about to give birth and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

The nurse responds by saying, “Is this her first child?”

“No,” shouts the blond man, “I’m her husband.”

5. Blond man joke #2:

A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts, “Bill, did you find the shampoo?”

“Yes,” Bill responds, “but I’m not sure what to do. It says it’s for dry hair but mine is already wet.”

6. Blond man joke #3:

A blond man sees a letter on his doormat one morning. On the envelope, in large letters, it states clearly, DO NOT BEND.

So the guy spends the next two hours trying to figure out how he’s going to pick it up.

7. Miscommunication:

A teenage boy in Jersey City called Directory Enquiries.

“Hello, operator,” he said, “I want the telephone number for Jack Smith in Manhattan.”

“Well, sir,” said the operator, “there are multiple listings for that name in Manhattan. Do you have a street name?”

“Yes, mam, I do,” said the boy. “All my friends call me Lil’ Loco.”

8. Family lunch:

Little Johnny’s out one Sunday with his parents having lunch with family.

Everyone’s seated around the table as lunch is being served. When Johnny receives his plate, he starts eating immediately.

“Johnny,” said his father, “you should wait until we’ve said a prayer before you begin eating.”

“No, Dad, I don’t have to,” Johnny responds.

“Of course you do,” his father insisted. “We always say a prayer when we eat lunch at home, don’t we?”

“Well, that’s at our house,” Johnny responds, “but we’re at Grandma’s and she knows how to cook.”

9. Over the limit:

Jack had been on a very boozy night out with his golf buddies.

When he left the bar he was absolutely steaming drunk.

Unwisely, despite being in a state of inebriation, Jack decided he’d drive home in his own car, rather than getting a cab. Well, he’d been driving for so many years, he was confident he could get the car home safely despite his condition.

So he proceeded along Main Street, driving as carefully as he could.

Suddenly he had to swerve to avoid a tree. Then he had to swerve again to avoid another tree and then another.

Well now, watching proceedings is a Highway Patrolman who decides it’s time to intervene and Jack’s pulled over.

“Sir,” said the Highway Patrolman, “can you explain why you were driving erratically along Main Street.”

“I’m sorry officer,” Jack responded, slurring his words. “It was the trees in the middle of the road.”

The Highway Patrolman frowned and said, “Sir, I have reason to believe you’re inebriated.”

“Why?” asked Jack, his speech slurred once again.

“Because there are no trees,” the Highway Patrolman responded. “You were dodging your air freshener.”

10. Teaching a lesson:

At a High School in Wilmington, Delaware they were experiencing a bit of a problem with the actions of some of the girls.

A number of 16-year-old girls had started to wear lipstick and they would put it on in the girls’ bathroom.

They’d all congregate around the bathroom mirror applying their lipstick of choice and then as they completed the task, they’d kiss the mirror leaving a perfect imprint of their lips for all to see.

Well, needless to say, there were so many lipstick marks that it was all getting a bit messy, to say the least.

More importantly, the janitor was getting fed up with having to clean the mirrors at the end of each day, given the lipstick marks were quite hard to remove.

So naturally, the janitor complained to the Principal.

Now the Principal was a wily old girl in her 50s who’d been around the block more than a few times and she knew how to get her students to behave.

One morning she marched into the girls’ bathroom when she knew the girls would be applying their lipstick. In her hand, she was holding a long-handled squeegee.

“Ladies,” said the Principal. “The janitor has complained about the mess you’re making of the mirrors. Allow me to demonstrate what the poor man has to do to get them clean.”

With that, she took the squeegee and dipped it into the toilet. She made sure the squeegee was suitably wet and then she proceeded to wipe the mirrors clean.

Since then there haven’t been any lipstick marks on the mirror.

Moral of the Story: There are teachers and then there are educators.

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SHORT FUNNY JOKESSo dear reader, did you find any of these short funny jokes amusing? Did any of them make you smile?

If you did enjoy this post then please share it with your friends on social media.

People really do enjoy short funny jokes, so please share this post now.

If you could share this post then I’d be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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25 complaints about holidays that’ll make you smile

06/21/2023 by

COMPLAINTS ABOUT HOLIDAYSThe problem with travel is that it can fail to meet our expectations. So, naturally, travel agents regularly get their fair share of complaints about holidays from their customers.

Here are 25 examples of complaints received by a well-known British travel agent, all of which certainly made me smile.

So, take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Complaints about holidays (1-10):

  1. No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were scared.
  2. The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.
  3. We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spaniards.
  4. Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg slicer in the drawers.
  5. On my holiday to India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.
  6. They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.
  7. We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white, but it was more like pale yellow.
  8. I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper British biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.
  9. It’s lazy for the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during siesta time. This should be banned.
  10. We booked an excursion to a water park, but no one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.

Complaints about holidays (11-20):

  1. I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.
  2. We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.
  3. It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.
  4. On our holiday in Rome, the tourist attractions were all full of tourists, so I couldn’t enjoy them properly.
  5. I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.
  6. It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.
  7. The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.
  8. When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.
  9. The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guidebook during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.
  10. My fiancée and I requested twin beds when we booked, but instead, we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.

Complaints about holidays (21-25):

  1. I was disappointed with my holiday in Thailand. It was like taking a vacation in a foreign country.
  2. When we arrived in Beirut, we were told that the local tap water wasn’t safe to drink, so we had to buy bottled water.
  3. The street signs in Tokyo were all in Japanese. As English is the international language, surely, they should all be in English?
  4. The local customs and traditions seemed very strange to us and that made us feel very uncomfortable. Your brochure didn’t mention that local culture might be different from our own.
  5. I was surprised to find that the local television channels in Latvia didn’t show the latest episodes of Coronation Street and EastEnders. Being away for two weeks meant I’ve now missed a big part of the current storylines.

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, did you find any of these complaints about holidays amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Did any of them make smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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15 corny jokes you can tell your kids and your friends

03/13/2023 by

CORNY JOKESDo you enjoy corny jokes, dear reader? Well, I do and whenever I hear them, I make a note of them in my journal. Today I thought I share a few of them with you.

Here are 15 corny jokes, which I hope will make you smile. If they don’t make you smile then I’m sure a few of them will appeal to the kids in your life, and your friends too.

So take a few moments to enjoy them all and share them with your kids and/or your friends.

Corny Jokes:

  1. For what was Camelot famous? It’s knight life.
  2. What was Noah’s profession? He was an ark-itect.
  3. How did the yeti feel when he had flu? Abominable.
  4. Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned.
  5. A skeleton walks into a bar in Manhattan and says to the bartender, “Give me a beer and a mop.”
  6. What do you get if you cross a dog with a chicken? Pooched eggs.
  7. Which cake lives in a cathedral in Paris? The flapjack of Notre Dame.
  8. What do you get if you cross a vampire with a plumber? A drain in the neck.
  9. What do you get if you cross a chicken with some cement? A bricklayer.
  10. Why are eggs overrated? Because they’re not all they’re cracked up to be.
  11. What’s the difference between a dog with fleas and a bored guest? One’s going to itch and the other’s itching to go.
  12. What’s the difference between a football and a duck? You’ll find one in a huddle and the other in a puddle.
  13. Which cake is served in Heaven? Angel cake.
  14. What game does a wizard octopus love to play? Squidditch.
  15. What did the lovesick cyclops say to his sweetheart? You’re the one-eye adore.

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