25 funniest one-liners to make you smile

09/12/2025 by

Here are some of the funniest one-liners I was able to find today. They all made me smile, and I hope they brighten your day, too.

Unfortunately, I was unable to identify the original authors for these inventive and witty lines, so for the moment they are all classified as ‘Author Unknown.’

However, should any reader be able to identify specific authors for individual one-liners, then I’d welcome your advice. I am very keen to add acknowledgements and links wherever I can, so please help.

In the meantime, take a few minutes to enjoy 25 of the funniest one-liners because everyone needs to laugh whenever possible.

FUNNIEST ONE-LINERS
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Funniest one-liners (1-12):

  1. I won $3 million in the lottery this weekend, so I decided to donate a quarter to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
  2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there; he said he couldn’t complain.
  3. I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is. Call me playful, but scaring men is so easy.
  4. Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
  5. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
  6. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.
  7. It’s easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
  8. Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
  9. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
  10. My ideal woman is one who is too naïve to know she’s way out of my league.
  11. She wanted a puppy, but I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.
  12. My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

Funniest one-liners (13-25):

  1. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
  2. The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.
  3. Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
  4. My husband is on the roof. Only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.
  5. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says, “Pint please, and one for the road!”
  6. My email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename my cat.
  7. One day, you’re the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you’re toast.
  8. Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
  9. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50/50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
  10. Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
  11. Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times, men avoided asking the way.
  12. “Doctor, there’s a patient on Line 1 who says he’s invisible.” “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”
  13. The deeper the pit you’re falling into, the more chance you have to learn how to fly. 
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If any of these one-liners made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. Please share this post now.

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21 best puns ever and guaranteed to make you smile

09/12/2025 by

Today, I’ve curated some of the best puns ever. Well, I think so.

I love wordplay, especially that form of wordplay that exploits multiple meanings of words for humorous effect.

I think clever puns are brilliant, which is why I’ve been searching the Internet for some of the best ones.

Here are 21 of the best puns I’ve found, so let me know what you think.

As always, when searching the net for wit and wisdom, it’s difficult to confirm the original author. Should you be one of them, dear reader, then please let me know. That way, I can give you full credit for your brilliance.

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Best puns ever:

  1. How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
  2. I hate peer pressure, and you should too.
  3. Ladies, if he doesn’t appreciate your fruit jokes, let that mango.
  4. I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a sh** in days.
  5. I’m a born pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
  6. My new girlfriend works at the Zoo. I think she’s a keeper.
  7. A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where’s the bartender?”
  8. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  9. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
  10. I’ve decided to sell my Hoover. Well, it’s just gathering dust.
  11. What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  12. About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went downhill fast.
  13. The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
  14. A cop knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes, but my dogs don’t even own bikes.
  15. I found a rock yesterday that measured 1760 yards in length. That must be a milestone.
  16. To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing.
  17. This morning, some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself that’s a nice Jester.
  18. Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence.
  19. I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda, then I realised it was just a Fanta sea.
  20. A wife shouted to her husband that moose were falling from the sky. No, it’s just reindeer, he responded.
  21. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I realised that toucan play that game.

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Were these the best puns ever? Did they make you smile? If so, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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4 funny international commercials to make you smile

09/12/2025 by

Today I have some very funny international commercials for you.

When it comes to watching television, I find the commercials are usually much better than everything else. Would you agree, dear reader?

I love clever commercials, and funny commercials are always a pleasure to watch.

And the best commercials are memorable because they combine clever and funny. Such commercials really do punch above their weight.

Well, dear reader, if, like me, you enjoy clever and amusing commercials, then I think you might enjoy the ones in the embedded video below.

These are not new commercials, but you will enjoy them, I’m sure.

They made me smile, so I hope they brighten up your day too.

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4 FUNNY INTERNATIONAL COMMERCIALS

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I hope so. However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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39 Clever one-liners guaranteed to get your friends laughing

09/11/2025 by

You may not be a stand-up comedian, dear reader, but if you’re anything like me, I’m sure you like to have a few clever one-liners up your sleeve ready to amuse your friends.

It’s always helpful to have a few good one-liner jokes in your back pocket, wouldn’t you agree?

Certainly, a funny joke never fails to break the ice in social situations. That’s why I collect them in my journal.

And I was asked recently if I would go through my collection and share a few more with readers. So today, I’ve done that just for you.

Next time you’re at a loss for words, try out one or two of these clever one-liners and watch how your popularity grows.

Enjoy them all, and then share them with your friends.

CLEVER ONE-LINERS
Funniest one-liners
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Clever one-liners (1-10):

  1. I doubt; therefore, I might be.
  2. Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
  3. Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.
  4. Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.
  5. I want patience, – AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
  6. Today’s a day for firm decisions! Or is it?
  7. If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
  8. Despite the cost of living, it remains popular.
  9. What’s worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.
  10. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.

Clever one-liners (11-20):

  1. Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand!
  2. If talk is cheap, why is hiring a lawyer so expensive?
  3. I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
  4. Why do bees hum? Because they can’t remember the lyrics.
  5. My math teacher called me average. Which I think is mean.
  6. The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it is on my list.
  7. Every organization will get results consistent with its design.
  8. Red meat’s not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat’s bad for you.
  9. I used to have an hourglass figure, but then the sand shifted.
  10. If at first, you don’t succeed, you can always redefine success.

Clever one-liners (21-30):

  1. If everything’s coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
  2. Listen, girl, do you know what this dress is made of? Boyfriend material.
  3. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So, study hard and be evil.
  4. A giant fly attacked the police station. They had to call a SWAT team.
  5. If you’ve got a clear conscience, you’ve probably got a bad memory too.
  6. There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
  7. They say money can’t buy happiness, but it’s just bought me this Happy Meal.
  8. Drive with excessive speed, and you won’t need to worry about your cholesterol.
  9. If Walmart is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the store free yet?
  10. Living on Earth may be expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Clever one-liners (31-39):

  1. Even a broken watch is right twice a day.
  2. Delinquents are always young men because yob is just boy spelt backwards.
  3. The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. The problem is that no one runs in your family.
  4. Any married person should forget their mistakes. No use in two people remembering the same thing.
  5. When tempted to fight fire with fire, always remember that the fire department usually uses water.
  6. Letting go of a loved one can be hard. But sometimes, it’s the only way to survive a rock-climbing catastrophe.
  7. When my boss asked me who was stupid, me or him, I reminded him that he said he didn’t hire stupid people.
  8. At every party, there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they’re usually married to each other.
  9. What’s the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale? A northern fairy tale begins, ‘Once upon a time…’ A southern fairy tale begins, ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this…’
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Funniest One-liners: 66 silly jokes to tickle you

09/11/2025 by

If you’re looking for a laugh, here is a collection of silly jokes, corny puns, and some of the funniest one-liners you will read today.

Yes, they’re all a bit corny, but I’m confident many of them will tickle you, too.

So, take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And don’t forget that everyone needs a little laughter in their lives.

So, please pass them on.

Thank you, dear reader.

FUNNIEST ONE-LINERS
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Funniest one-liners (1-22):

  1. Add insult to injury; sign someone’s cast.
  2. You mustn’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.
  3. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
  4. If you need help building an ark, I Noah guy.
  5. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  6. One exotic bird can’t make a pun but toucan.
  7. Just when you think you’ve got a good life, it’s broken.
  8. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
  9. I’m suffering from schizophrenia, but I’m good people.
  10. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s on my list.
  11. I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
  12. What do dogs do when watching a DVD? Press paws.
  13. I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
  14. I went to a seafood disco, and I ended up pulling a mussel.
  15. Two WiFi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.
  16. How do scientists freshen their breath? With experi-mints!
  17. My wife’s bakery burned down last night. Her business is toast.
  18. What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner!
  19. I bought my gun from a guy called T-Rex. He was a small arms dealer.
  20. I got fired from my job as a set designer. So I left without making a scene.
  21. What’s the easiest way to burn 2,000 calories? You leave a tray of brownies in the oven while you’re taking a nap.
  22. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ‘Uno, dos…” and poof! He disappeared without a tres.

Funniest one-liners (23-44):

  1. How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.
  2. What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
  3. How do you count cows? With a cow-culator.
  4. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.
  5. When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
  6. What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs.
  7. What do lawyers wear to work? Lawsuits.
  8. I was going to tell a pizza joke, but it’s too cheesy.
  9. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
  10. I’m on a whisky diet, and I’ve lost three days already.
  11. How do you tell if a vampire’s sick? Check if he’s coffin.
  12. How many people are buried in the cemetery? All of them.
  13. What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
  14. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  15. The cannibal arrived late for the buffet, so he was given the cold shoulder.
  16. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  17. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  18. Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop?
  19. Why did the girl give her pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.
  20. What makes long division such hard work? All those numerals you have to carry.
  21. I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up my pillow was gone.
  22. Cinderella tried out for the basketball team at high school, but she kept running away from the ball.

Funniest one-liners (45-66):

  1. What do you call a sad cow? A blue moo.
  2. What has a bottom at the top? Your legs.
  3. How can you see flying saucers? Trip up a waiter.
  4. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.
  5. Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
  6. What did the cake say to the fork? You want a piece of me?
  7. Who ruled France until he exploded? Napoleon Blownapart.
  8. Why did the bee start talking poetry? It was waxing lyrical.
  9. Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
  10. Who went into the tiger’s den and came out alive? The tiger.
  11. How does fast light travel? The same way that slow light travels.
  12. What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a camera? A snapshot.
  13. What’s the longest piece of furniture in the world? A multiplication table.
  14. What do you get if you cross a hula dancer with a boxer? A Hawaiian punch.
  15. What did the waiter say to the skunk? Sorry, I can’t take your odour.
  16. She was only a plumber’s daughter, but she sure gave my heart a wrench.
  17. What’s brown and hairy and wears sunglasses? A coconut on holiday.
  18. What do you get if you cross a compass with a shellfish? A guided mussel.
  19. Why did the robber jump in the bathtub? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
  20. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
  21. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
  22. Why is a room full of married people empty? Because there isn’t a single person in it.
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So, dear reader, were these some of the funniest one-liners, in your opinion?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh.

If so, then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read in this post, then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. So please, share it now.

Thank you.

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11 great one-liner jokes that will make your toes curl

09/11/2025 by
11 Great One-Liner Jokes

Here are another 11 one-liners brought to my attention by readers, which I thought I’d share with you.

I can’t be sure of their origins, but they all made me smile, and I hope they brighten your day, too, dear reader.

These are great one-liner jokes that will make your toes curl, I’m sure. I hope so anyway.

Enjoy them all.

GREAT ONE-LINER JOKES
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Great one-liner jokes:

  1. A girl’s thoughts when she starts dating a guy – Date #1: That’s a really nice shirt. Date #2: Wow. That’s another nice shirt. Date #3: That’s the shirt he wore on our first date. Date #4: OK, he’s only got two decent shirts.
  2. The four sweetest words you can use when people didn’t listen to you? I told you so!
  3. My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I definitely laugh more.
  4. I prefer living in the past. At least the cost of housing was much cheaper.
  5. Military personnel can be charged for losing equipment. In the army you’ll pay $150 for losing your rifle. That explains why, in the Navy, a captain will always go down with his ship.
  6. I gave my wife the silent treatment for an entire week. At the end of it she said to me, “It’s been nice this week, we’ve really been getting on well.”
  7. There’s a new support group for compulsive talkers. It’s called On Anon.
  8. I’ve just found the worst page in my dictionary. The content is disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, disingenuous and disreputable.
  9. Why bother keeping up with the Joneses when you could drag them down to your level. Surely it’s less expensive that way?
  10. For Christmas or birthdays, buy your kids a set of batteries and just put a note inside saying “Toys not included.”
  11. My favourite hobby is going down to the beach and burying metal objects that have the words “Get a Life” inscribed on them.

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If any of these great one-liner jokes made you smile, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. Please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then click on the links below.

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33 witty one-liners that will really tickle you

09/10/2025 by
33 WITTY ONE-LINERS

Would you like a few witty one-liners to brighten your day, dear reader?

Well, I’ve got an excellent selection for you today.

Once again, I’ve been trawling my journals to assemble a collection of witty one-liners that I’m confident you’ll enjoy.

These have all been collected over time, and I can’t be sure who the originators were, so I can’t provide an acknowledgement on this occasion. However, if you have any ideas, please let me know.

In the meantime, enjoy them all, and please do share them with your friends.

WITTY ONE-LINERS
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Witty one-liners (1-11):

  1. Bad puns? That’s how eye roll.
  2. My patience has stretch marks.
  3. If you need an ark, I Noah guy.  
  4. Is a Will defined as a dead giveaway?
  5. Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers.
  6. I used to be a banker but I lost interest. 
  7. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
  8. Geology rocks but geography is where it’s at! 
  9. Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives.
  10. Something about subtraction just doesn’t add up.
  11. How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!

Witty one-liners (12-22):

  1. I make apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.
  2. I wanted to grow herbs but I couldn’t find the thyme.
  3. Simba was walking too slowly so I told him to Mufasa. 
  4. I used to sell computer parts but then I lost my drive.
  5. The only thing flat-earthers have to fear is sphere itself.
  6. Gravity jokes are getting old but I fall for them every time.
  7. Why couldn’t the chicken find her eggs? She’d mislaid them. 
  8. Do people who climb the world’s highest mountain ever rest?
  9. I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
  10. I tried to make a belt out of watches but it was a waist of time.
  11. If a priest blesses an avocado does it become Holy Guacamole?

Witty one-liners (23-33):

  1. I used to be a transplant surgeon but my heart just wasn’t in it.
  2. Mosquitoes are like family – annoying, but they carry your blood.
  3. England doesn’t have a kidney bank but it does have a Liverpool.
  4. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
  5. I was going to look for my missing watch but I couldn’t find the time. 
  6. I made a graph of my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.
  7. Why was the baseball player a bad sport? He stole third base and then went home!
  8. BREAKING NEWS: Cheese factory explodes in France. Nothing left but de Brie!
  9. Stalin should have known communism wouldn’t work. There were red flags everywhere.
  10. I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare but he chewed it a lot. Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
  11. Someone sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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So, please share it now. If you can do that for me, I’ll be forever grateful.

You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. So that would be your good deed for the day.

If you fancy some more laughs, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

Your support is appreciated, dear reader. Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

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33 Clever One-Liners Guaranteed to Make You Smile

09/10/2025 by
Clever One-Liners

I love funny and clever one-liners, and over time, I collect them in a journal. And when I’ve got enough, I like to share them with readers. Anything that makes readers smile always results in a great reaction.

So today I offer you my latest collection, which I think are all very clever one-liners.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to identify the original authors, so I must classify them all as Author Unknown.

However, I’d be happy to add acknowledgements to each quote if readers can enlighten me accordingly.

If you know who wrote them originally, please let me know.

I’m sharing these clever one-liners with you because I am confident they’ll make you smile, dear reader.

Certainly, they all made me smile, so I do hope you enjoy them too.

CLEVER ONE-LINERS
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Clever One-liners (1-11):

  1. My mind’s made up; don’t confuse me with facts.
  2. Arguing with your wife is unwise. Even if you win you lose.
  3. Education is important, but other stuff is more importanter.
  4. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
  5. Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
  6. Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
  7. When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
  8. You can’t make me do what you want me to do, you’re not my cat.
  9. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
  10. I can keep secrets, of course. It’s the people I tell them to who can’t.
  11. The best way to get back on your feet is to miss a couple of car payments.

Clever One-liners (12-22):

  1. I’ve got a great pizza joke, but I warn you, it’s very cheesy.
  2. My resolution was to read more, so I put the subtitles on my television.
  3. I really hate it when people ask for likes on social media. Like if you agree!
  4. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
  5. The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.
  6. When I was at school 52% of the class was good at maths. I was one of the other 38%.
  7. You know you’re fat when you step on a speak-your-weight scale and it says, “One at a time please!”
  8. You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t return, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
  9. I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 siblings, but they didn’t know either.
  10. If you take away looks, money, intelligence, charm, and success, there’s no difference between me and George Clooney.
  11. I got called pretty yesterday, and it felt really good. Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I like to focus on the positive.

Clever One-liners (23-33):

  1. I have a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words too!
  2. I may be ugly now, but one day I’ll be rich enough for you to find me attractive.
  3. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.
  4. Did you know that 50% of all doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class?
  5. My buddies and I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t gotten a gig yet.
  6. I’m a great multitasker. I can procrastinate, fret, and worry about it all at the same time.
  7. I told my plant about my problems; it said I needed to grow a spine. Talk about photosympathy!
  8. I once entered a pun contest. I submitted ten puns, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
  9. My memory is terrible. On the plus side, watching reruns on television is always a new experience.
  10. When my suitcases realized there’d be no vacation this year, it left me dealing with emotional baggage.
  11. I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I’ll be fine, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
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So did these clever one-liners prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh.

If so, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support.

Articles you might enjoy:

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35 thats what she said jokes to raise a smile

09/10/2025 by

Today, I thought it might be amusing to explore some Thats What She Said jokes.

This form of humour revolves around innuendo and double entendre.

Yes, it’s a bit silly and suggestive, but it’s innocent and fun too, as it reflects the nature of human interaction and the way we find humour in the absurd. And, let’s face it, much of what passes for physical interaction between people can seem a little absurd when you think about it.

As with all humour, appropriateness and effectiveness depend largely on the audience and the context. So, I hope my audience today will appreciate this form of humour.

If, for some reason, this humour is not for you, then I’ll try to offer you something more appropriate next time around.

In the meantime, for those who enjoy innuendo and double entendre, here are 35 Thats What She Said Jokes to brighten your day.

Thats What She Said Jokes
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Thats What She Said Jokes (1-10):

  1. That’s big. Thats what she said.
  2. It looks horrible! Thats what she said.
  3. I think it’s stuck. Thats what she said.
  4. I’ve seen it all now. Thats what she said.
  5. You can’t be serious. Thats what she said.
  6. I can’t get a grip on it. Thats what she said.
  7. That’s too much for me. Thats what she said.
  8. Stop fiddling with them! Thats what she said.
  9. Wow, it’s quite a handful. Thats what she said.
  10. I don’t like the look of that. Thats what she said.

Thats What She Said Jokes (11-20):

  1. You’re going to love these! Thats what she said.
  2. Keep it to yourself, please. Thats what she said.
  3. Well, that was disappointing. Thats what she said.
  4. Not now, I’ve got a headache. Thats what she said.
  5. Surely, you’re having a laugh. Thats what she said.
  6. This is harder than I expected. Thats what she said.
  7. I’ve never seen one that small. Thats what she said.
  8. I’ve not seen one like that before. Thats what she said.
  9. I didn’t think it would get this big. Thats what she said.
  10. That’s not a game I’m willing to play. Thats what she said.

Thats What She Said Jokes (21-35):

  1. I can’t keep holding it up like this. Thats what she said.
  2. I’ve never done it this way before. Thats what she said.
  3. It was over quicker than I thought. Thats what she said.
  4. You’ll get better with more practice. Thats what she said.
  5. Let’s take it out and see how it looks. Thats what she said.
  6. I’m going to need two hands for this. Thats what she said.
  7. It’s not as big as I thought it would be. Thats what she said.
  8. You don’t get many of them to the pound. Thats what she said.
  9. I love you, dear, but not enough to try that. Thats what she said.
  10. If you think I’m doing that, you can forget it. Thats what she said.
  11. Goodness, this one’s got its own personality. Thats what she said.
  12. You’re unlikely to find a pair bigger than these? Thats what she said.
  13. As experiences go, that wasn’t much to write home about. Thats what she said.
  14. There’s an easy way and a hard way. Let’s do it the easy way. Thats what she said.
  15. It’ll take more than a skinny latte and a blueberry muffin to impress me. Thats what she said.
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If any of these ‘Thats What She Said Jokes’ made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So, please go ahead and share now.

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21 funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile

09/07/2025 by
21 Funny One-Liners

Here is another batch of funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile.

Once again, I’ve been searching for the best smiles I can find to brighten your day, dear reader. I’ve done the hard work, so you don’t have to.

So sit back, relax, and I hope you enjoy these funny one-liners just as much as I did.

And don’t forget your friends.

If you enjoy these smiles, then your friends will probably enjoy them too.

So pass them on, but not before you’ve enjoyed them yourself.

FUNNY ONE-LINERS GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU SMILE
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Funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile (1-10):

  1. If you need an ark, I Noah guy.
  2. The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
  3. Never give up on your dreams. Stay in bed and sleep on.
  4. I wouldn’t say that my ceiling is the best, but it’s up there.
  5. You must agree, the shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
  6. Never tell your secrets in a cornfield. There are too many ears.
  7. Why do bees hum? Because they can never remember the words.
  8. Why are ghosts always bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
  9. What would you call someone with just a nose and no body? Nobody knows.
  10. My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.

Funny one-liners guaranteed to make you smile (11-21):

  1. There’s a store on Main Street where you can get dead batteries free of charge.
  2. I used to work as an origami teacher, but I hated it. There was too much paperwork.
  3. I told my suitcase there will be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
  4. I was amused to read the epitaph on the late dentist’s gravestone. It read “He’s now filling his last cavity.”
  5. Why is everything delivered by ship called a cargo and yet if it’s delivered by a van, it’s called a shipment?
  6. Our local farmer has started feeding his cows with bird seed. That would explain why the milk is going cheep.
  7. My sister bet me $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car using spaghetti. Her face was a picture when I drove pasta.
  8. A man delivers a load of bubble wrap. “Where do you want this, he asks?” “Oh, just pop it in the corner” was the reply.
  9. Change your password to incorrect and then if you can’t quite remember it, your computer will say your password is incorrect.
  10. They’ve just opened a new restaurant Downtown. It’s called Karma and they don’t have a menu. You just get what you deserve.
  11. A police recruit was asked during his exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He answered, “Call for backup.”
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So did these funny one-liners prove to be as funny as you’d hoped dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read here then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

Articles you might enjoy:

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Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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