Witty One-liners

30 comedy one-liners that are pure gold

06/17/2025 by

Are you tired of the same old jokes that leave you uninspired and unamused, dear reader? Perhaps you’re looking for some comedy one-liners that might amuse your friends and colleagues.

Well, if you’re looking for some comedy gold, some of these one-liners might leave you in stitches.

This collection of comedy one-liners will leave you with a smile on your face and a chuckle in your heart.

From witty observations to pun-filled gags, these one-liners will keep you entertained and amused.

Whether you’re looking to brighten up your day or impress your friends with your quick wit, these one-liners are sure to deliver.

So why wait? Grab a cup of coffee and take a few moments to relax and enjoy all these one-liners. They’ll tickle you silly.

Feel free to pass them on.

COMEDY ONE-LINERS
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Comedy one-liners (1-10):

  1. I’m not old, I’m chronologically gifted.
  2. Am I lazy? No, I’m just conserving energy.
  3. I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.
  4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  5. Why did the blond move to LA? It was easier to spell.
  6. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why you’re wrong.
  7. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  8. Why do they call it a drive-through if you have to stop?
  9. I’m not a light sleeper. I can sleep just as well in the dark
  10. I’m not a great cook, but few people are better at re-heating.

Comedy one-liners (11-20):

  1. I’m not a morning person, I’m a several-cups-of-coffee person.
  2. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
  3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  4. If a chicken crosses the road, then would that be poultry in motion?
  5. I told my wife she was acting like a fool. She replied, “You married me.”
  6. Why did the hedgehog cross the road? He wanted to see his flat mate.
  7. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was about to crumble.
  8. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
  9. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
  10. Why does a flamingo lift one leg? Because if it lifted both it would fall over.

Comedy one-liners (21-30):

  1. I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to charge the camera.
  2. I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  3. I used to fear the speed bump outside my house, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  4. I told my wife she was acting like a drama queen. She replied, “Long live the queen.”
  5. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
  6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  7. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
  8. I’m not a fan of politicians. They’re always trying to get in touch with the people they used to avoid in high school.
  9. Why do wives of bus drivers have trouble getting pregnant? Because bus drivers tend to pull out unexpectedly.
  10. What does it mean when your doctor says you have six months to live? The message is you have five months to pay.
COMEDY ONE-LINERS
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Please share with your friends:

So, dear reader, did these comedy one-liners make you smile? I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’ll be forever grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

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33 terrible puns, so bad they’ll make you smile

06/15/2025 by

Puns can be really corny, and terrible puns are the corniest of the lot. Nevertheless, lots of people like them, and I always get a good response when I put a collection of them together.

So today I offer you another 33 puns, corny to the point of being terrible, but they just might make you smile too. I hope so.

Enjoy them all, and please pass them on to your friends.

TERRIBLE PUNS
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Terrible puns (1-11):

  1. Squid puns are inkredible.
  2. With fish puns, any fin goes.
  3. We’re big fans of renewable energy.
  4. Skeleton puns are close to the bone.
  5. With Halloween puns, anything ghost.
  6. Do I like tea? I’m willing to give it a chai.
  7. With music puns, I’ve had too much too tune.
  8. Haunted French pancakes will give you the crepes.
  9. Two blood cells fell in love but alas it was all in vein.
  10. Do busy elephants keep a list of tusks to be completed?
  11. With mountaineering puns, actions peak louder than words.

Terrible puns (12-22):

  1. Why don’t frogs wear shoes? They prefer open-toad sandals.
  2. If a plant is sad, do the other plants photosympathize with it?
  3. What did the biologist wear on his first date? Designer Genes.
  4. I went terrapin bowling the other night. It was turtley amazing.
  5. My orange was a funny color. Definitely, a whiter shade of peel.
  6. In the debate about Mexican food, I played the Devil’s avocado.
  7. If I had a ruminant of pride, would I be writing terrible camel puns?
  8. The omelette wasn’t very good, but I’ve put it down to eggsperience.
  9. Sales promotion on French breadsticks. Buy one, baguette one free!
  10. I’ve been to Joshua Tree National Park but it’s not all it’s cactus to be.
  11. There was a wild bamboo party at the zoo. It was utter panda-monium.

Terrible puns (13-33):

  1. I looked at the Indian buffet and thought, “No, I don’t want naan of that.”
  2. My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes. It Taurus apart.
  3. Omelettin’ you have it. Yolks about accidents in egg factories aren’t funny.
  4. The baker smiled and said, “I don’t knead money, I’ve got plenty of dough.”
  5. I’d love to explore the Arctic and boldly go where snowmen have gone before.
  6. What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another? “Sorry, my fault!”
  7. The baker brought out a tray of American-style, glazed, sweet treats. I said, “Donut tempt me.”
  8. A chicken walked into a bar swearing, loudly. “No fowl language, please,” said the bartender.
  9. They served leaf cabbage for lunch in the police canteen but I thought, “That’s beyond the kale of duty!”
  10. Cows were complaining about living conditions on the farm and the leader said, “We’ve herd the problems but hoof you spoken to so far?”
  11. Two Martians land in a field and the first thing they see is a cute little doe eating grass. “I’ve never seen herbivore,” one said to the other.
Terrible Puns
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So did these terrible puns prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read here, then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

I appreciate your support, dear reader. Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

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37 short quotes that are funny and sharp

05/28/2025 by

If you’re looking for some short quotes that are funny and sharp, dear reader, then I’ve curated 37 little gems for you today.

I’m confident that at least a few of them will make you smile.

Who originally gave us these little gems? I have no idea. But whoever it was, we should all thank them.

So, take a few moments to enjoy them all, and feel free to pass them on.

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Short quotes that are funny (1-10):

  1. I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!
  2. I’m not old, I’m just a classic.
  3. I’m not weird, I’m just different.
  4. I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.
  5. I’m not lazy, I’m just energy efficient.
  6. I’m not weird, I’m just a limited edition.
  7. I’m not bald, I’m just taller than my hair.
  8. I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.
  9. I’m not always right, I’m just never wrong.
  10. I’m not impatient, I just prefer not to wait.

Short quotes that are funny (11-20):

  1. I’m not messy, I’m creatively disorganized.
  2. I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity challenged.
  3. I’m not moody, I just have a lot of feelings.
  4. I’m not stubborn, I’m just persistently right.
  5. I’m not antisocial, I’m just selectively social.
  6. I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route.
  7. I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in smartass.
  8. I’m not late, I’m just chronologically challenged.
  9. I’m not a control freak, I’m a control enthusiast.
  10. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
37 SHORT QUOTES THAT ARE FUNNY
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Short quotes that are funny (21-30):

  1. I’m not difficult, I’m just picky about my stupidity.
  2. If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
  3. I don’t have bad handwriting; I have my own font.
  4. I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
  5. I wanted to be a baker but couldn’t raise the dough.
  6. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
  7. I’m not procrastinating, I’m prioritizing in reverse order.
  8. I’m not always right, but when I am, it’s usually by accident.
  9. I’m not messy, I just like to create my own obstacle courses.
  10. I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.

Short quotes that are funny (31-37):

  1. I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing why I’m right.
  2. I’m not a procrastinator, I’m just very efficient at doing nothing.
  3. I’m not forgetful, I’m just experiencing spontaneous memory loss.
  4. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right in a different way.
  5. I’m not nosy, I’m just overly curious about everything and everyone.
  6. I’m not a morning person. I’m a mourning person, mourning the loss of my sleep.
  7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of debt payments.

Please share with your friends:

So, there you have it. My 37 short quotes that are funny. However, were they as funny as you’d hoped? I hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

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35 one-liners about life that will raise a smile

05/01/2025 by

I love one-liners about life. The one I love most has to be the following:

“Life? Don’t talk to me about life!”

Older readers may remember that this was the expression made famous by Marvin the Paranoid Android in Douglas Adams’ classic novel, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

I’m sure we’ve all shared Marvin’s sentiment occasionally when we experience life’s more challenging moments.

However positive we are, life can get the better of us sometimes.

So here are some one-liners about life that are guaranteed to raise a smile or two, as I’m sure at least some of them will resonate with readers.

Life can be absurd at times, and it’s difficult on occasions to believe the evidence of our own eyes and ears.

Nevertheless, our aim must be to remain positive, and to do that, we must learn to laugh at life and ourselves.

Don’t take it all too seriously.

Just laugh as much as you can, and that is the perfect counterbalance to life’s absurdities.

Start now by laughing at all these one-liners, which I’ve collected together to amuse and entertain you, dear reader.

ONE-LINERS ABOUT LIFE
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One-liners about life (1-20):

  1. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  2. Life is a terminal disease.
  3. Youth is wasted on the young.
  4. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
  5. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  6. It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.
  7. We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.
  8. Being a hypochondriac could save your life one of these days.
  9. Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.
  10. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  11. I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
  12. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
  13. I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
  14. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  15. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
  16. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
  17. Just because a road’s well-trodden doesn’t mean it leads anywhere worth going.
  18. As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else.
  19. Stealing ideas from one person is plagiarism but stealing ideas from many people is research.
  20. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

One-liners about life (21-35):

  1. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than the police.
  2. You might as well laugh at your problems because everyone else does.
  3. God must love stupid people because he made so many of them.
  4. Dolphins are so smart they can train people to stand at the edge of the pool and throw fish at them.
  5. If I was doin’ any better, I’d have to hire someone to help me enjoy it!
  6. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
  7. How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
  8. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  9. I thought I wanted a career but I realize now that I just wanted a decent income.
  10. Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
  11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they’re sexy.
  12. Why is it that most nudists are people you wouldn’t want to see naked?
  13. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.
  14. Some people will appreciate it others will be irritated by it. Either way, you win.
  15. The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.

Please share with your friends:

So, dear reader, did any of these one-liners about life make you smile?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

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37 one line funny quotes to brighten your day

04/04/2025 by

One line funny quotes always make me smile. I just love clever wordplay and short, pithy comments. And I always make a note of them in my journal.

So today I’ve pulled together 37 one line funny quotes, which I hope will brighten your day and raise a smile or two.

Enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Pass on the smiles, and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

ONE LINE FUNNY QUOTES
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One line funny quotes (1 – 21):

  1. Blunt pencils are pointless.
  2. I doubt, therefore I might be.
  3. The rotation of the Earth makes my day.
  4. Did Noah include termites on the ark?
  5. To be Frank, I’d have to change my name.
  6. Keep the dream alive. Hit the snooze button.
  7. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
  8. Which shoes do frogs prefer? Open toad sandals.
  9. Why do bees hum? They can’t remember the lyrics!
  10. If you don’t pay my exorcist, will I get repossessed?
  11. The cost of living might be high but it remains popular.
  12. You can add insult to injury by signing somebody’s cast.
  13. If everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  14. I failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil. It wasn’t 2B. 
  15. I used to have an hourglass figure, but the sand has shifted.
  16. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is on my to-do list.
  17. The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Restaurant In Peace.
  18. Should women have children after 35? No, 35 children are enough!
  19. You think you’ve got a handle on life and then you realise it’s broken.
  20. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
  21. Adam and Eve were the first to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

One line funny quotes (22 – 37):

  1. Does refusing to go to the gym count as a form of resistance training?
  2. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It can dissolve marriages, families and careers.
  3. My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.
  4. I went to see my physician about my short-term memory problems. He made me pay in advance.
  5. I bought a new pair of gloves and they were both ‘lefts’. Good on the one hand but on the other, just not right.
  6. My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.
  7. I’m sceptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. That’s a bit of a stretch.
  8. Do I have a girlfriend? Well, I know a girl who would be really mad if I said I didn’t.
  9. Honesty’s the best policy, which suggests that dishonesty is the second-best policy.
  10. Houdini used a trap door in every show, which suggests it was a stage he was going through.
  11. Animal testing is a terrible idea. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers
  12. Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
  13. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
  14. Four fonts walk into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Hey! We don’t want your type in here!’
  15. A ghost walked into a Manhattan bar and ordered a Whiskey. The bartender said, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve spirits in here.”
  16. It was so cold in Manhattan last night that flashers were forced to describe themselves to people.

Please share this post with your friends:

So, dear reader, did any of these one line funny quotes make you smile?

I hope so. However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share this post now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.

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30 witty quotes that’ll make anyone smile

03/29/2025 by

Blog posts that include something to make readers smile always get a good response. Witty quotes always get the best response.

So here are 30 razor-sharp witty quotes. I am sure at least a few of them will brighten your day.

This is a collection of witty quotes in response to readers’ requests for a little levity to break up the otherwise gloomy news that seems to have dominated our lives this year.

So go on have a laugh right now and enjoy them all.

Witty Quotes (1-10)

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it. ~Mae West

When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’. ~Groucho Marx

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well. ~Mark Twain

Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. ~Robert A. Heinlein

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. ~Oscar Wilde

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ~W.C. Fields

My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best. ~Winston S. Churchill

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. ~George Burns

Two wrongs don’t make a right but they do make a good excuse. ~Thomas Szasz

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. ~A.A. Milne

Witty Quotes (11-20)

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? ~Laurence J. Peter

If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. ~W.C. Fields

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. ~Paul Terry

When you’re courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. ~Albert Einstein

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? ~George Carlin

It ain’t over ‘til it’s over. ~Yogi Berra

I need six months’ vacation, twice a year. ~Author Unknown

I do all my own stunts but never intentionally. ~Author Unknown

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? ~Robin Williams

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. ~Author Unknown

Witty Quotes (21-30)

Hard work never killed anyone but why take a chance? ~Edgar Bergen

I’d like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. ~Pablo Picasso

No man goes before his time, unless the boss leaves early. ~Groucho Marx

Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese. ~Luis Buñuel

The man who says his wife can’t take a joke forgets she took him. ~Oscar Wilde

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food. ~W.C. Fields

To err is human; to blame it on someone else shows management potential. ~Author Unknown

Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back. ~Author Unknown

If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light in the refrigerator? ~Author Unknown

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island, what book I would take with me? …. “How to Build a Boat” would be the answer. ~Author Unknown

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, did you find these witty quotes amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

Did any of them make smile? If so please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Other articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2024. All rights reserved.

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35 of the best one-liners ever. You’ll love them all

03/29/2025 by

Today I offer you some of the best one-liners ever. Well, they are, in my opinion, at least.

I love a great one-liner, and these are all brilliant. They’re amusing, sharp, and very witty. I hope at least one or two of them will brighten your day.

So take a couple of minutes and enjoy them all.

And please feel free to share them.

Best one-liners ever (1-12)

Am I indecisive? I’m not sure.

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

A clean house suggests there’s no WiFi.

Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.

It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do.

I started with nothing, and I’ve still got most of it.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

When life gives you melons, you could be dyslexic.

You say you’re a compulsive liar, but I don’t believe you.

Since I had my neck brace fitted I’ve never looked back.

Best one-liners ever (13-24)

A liberal is just a conservative who hasn’t been mugged yet.

Yeah? You and whose army?

What did your last slave die of?

Yes, I’ve had a good time, but this wasn’t it.

If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.

You look like you’ve found a dime and lost a dollar.

Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.

My life’s as good as anyone’s if their life’s truly awful.

Keep looking like that and your face will stay that way.

Well, you certainly look like you’ve got the face you deserve.

Am I looking at you? Why? Do I look like I’ve got nothing better to do?

With a face like that, you must have done something terrible in a previous life.

Best one-liners ever (25-35)

Don’t be a fool all your life, take five minutes off and give the rest of us a break.

Drive like an idiot and it won’t be long before you’ll meet another idiot heading in the other direction.

Your face and voice suggest your career options will be limited to those things you can do well with your hands.

You shouldn’t laugh at your wife’s choices because you’re one of them.

You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon fails to return home, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving unless it’s something you plan to do more than once.

I love to hold hands at the movies but for some reason, strangers sitting next to me never seem that keen.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you’ll look forward to the trip.

Is it true that the security guys at the Samsung Store are known as Guardians of the Galaxy?

You know they’re your friends when you walk into their home, and you connect to the WiFi automatically.

The absurdity of the sexual act is God’s way of reminding us that he does have a sense of humor.

Enjoyed these one-liners? 

So, dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these one-liners made you smile, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you can put a smile on someone else’s face, you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, and please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Thank you.

Articles you might enjoy:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2024. All rights reserved.

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33 Corny puns and funny jokes to cheer someone up

03/12/2025 by

If you’re looking for funny jokes to cheer someone up, this post is for you.

We live in difficult times, and we all face so many pressures. When our friends are down, we try to lift their spirits. And for that, it helps if we have a few corny puns and funny jokes to cheer someone up.

Well, today, I’ve curated another 33 gems just for you, dear reader.

At least I think they’re gems. So I hope they’ll make you laugh too. Some might be a bit too corny, but I’m confident some will tickle you.

Enjoy them and don’t forget to share them too.

Make Money

Funny jokes to cheer someone up: (1-11)

Nothing tops plain pizza.

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

Seven days of fasting will make one weak.

What do you call a hippy’s wife? Mississippi.

I tried eating a clock, but it was time-consuming.

I wanted to be a monk, but I never got the chants.

Autocorrect makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo.

I was never a fan of San Andreas. It’s not my fault.

Dead batteries cost nothing. They’re free of charge.

The girl in the middle of the tennis court is Annette.

Funny jokes to cheer someone up: (12-22)

Ask yourself if it’s wise to eat at Sam and Ella’s diner?

Cemetery raises prices and blames it on the cost of living.

I will start collecting highlighting pens. Mark my words.

I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.

My dogs are called Rolex and Breitling. They’re watchdogs.

What does the pizza man use to cut his hair? Little Caesars.

I pulled a muscle digging for gold. It was just a miner injury.

What do you call a cow that can’t give milk? An udder failure.

Water’s heavier than Butane because Butane is a Lighter fluid.

When a wolf is taught to meditate, does it become aware wolf?

I started an online bakery but I accidentally deleted all my cookies.

Funny jokes to cheer someone up: (23-33)

Lego store re-opens after lockdown. People stand in line for blocks.

Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? Because it lifts their spirits.

My daughter wants to study burrowing rodents. I told her to gopher it.

I’m reading a book called “Quick Money for Dummies” by Robin Banks.

I wanted a career as a fisherman, but I couldn’t live on the net income.

If you wear a facemask and glasses, you may be entitled to condensation.

Beauty School student misses classes. She’s forced to make up the makeup test.

If two meth-heads start a relationship are they “speed dating” or just “mething around”.

My wife said she’d leave me if I made up any more puns about The Monkees. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face …..

DOCTOR: Nurse, what’s the status on the boy who swallowed a coin? NURSE: Still no change, Doctor.

Dear Algebra, Please stop asking me to find your X. She’s not coming back and don’t ask Y.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you enjoy these corny puns and funny jokes to cheer someone up? Were they as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

I hope so anyway.

If that’s the case, please share this blog post with your friends, because when you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now on social media. If you can do that for me, I will be forever grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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25 silly jokes that are laugh out loud funny

03/11/2025 by

Here’s another batch of short and silly but laugh out loud funny jokes just for you, dear reader.

Laughter is the best medicine, and we all need laugh out loud funny jokes to brighten our challenging lives.

So grab a coffee and take a few moments to enjoy these laugh out loud funny jokes right now.

I hope they give you a few minutes of pleasure to brighten your day.

Laugh out loud funny:

  • If I’m nobody;
  • And nobody’s perfect;
  • Then I must be perfect.
  • Why are frogs so happy?
  • They eat whatever bugs them.
  • How do you befriend a squirrel?
  • Act like a nut.
  • Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?
  • Because they kept dropping their trunks.
  • What do you call a pooch living in Alaska?
  • A chilly dog.
  • What do call you a row of bunnies moving backwards?
  • A receding hare line.
  • Why was the paediatrician always losing his temper?
  • Because he had little patients.
  • What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel it’s good enough?
  • Impasta syndrome.
  • Would you like to hear a joke about construction?
  • I’m still working on it.
  • I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.
    He cried and gave me a big hug.
  • My wife was complaining that I never take her anywhere expensive.
  • So I said, “Come on, get in the car; we’re going to the gas station.”
Laugh out loud funny
Laugh out loud funny
  • They say 40 is the new 30
  • But try telling that to a traffic cop.
  • Relationships are like algebra.
  • You look at your X and wonder Y.
  • What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
  • BREATH!
  • What do you call a magic dog?
  • A labracadabrador.
  • You could say it was an emotional wedding.
  • Even the cake was in tears.
  • What do you call a deer with no eyes?
  • No eye deer.
  • A guy assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter.
  • How dairy.
  • My ex-wife still misses me.
  • But her aim’s improving.
  • I own a pencil once owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
  • Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
  • People didn’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
  • So I decided to raise the bar.
  • The World Tongue-Twister Champion was up before the judge in court.
  • I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.
  • I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
  • It’s a complex complex complex.
  • I hate insects puns.
  • They really bug me.
  • I’ve been trying to lose weight.
  • But it keeps finding me.

Please share this post:

So did these rib-tickling jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Articles you might enjoy:

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15 Funny quotes on friendship that’ll raise a smile

03/04/2025 by

If you’re lucky enough to have one good friend, then you are richer than you imagine, and if you have two then you’re truly blessed.

Friendship is a relationship of equals.

Real friends are people with whom you have a lot in common, especially when it comes to things that make you laugh and those times when you enjoy getting silly.

True friends are people who know all your faults but accept you as you are anyway.

Not everyone with whom you have a friendly relationship is a true friend. Some people are just very good acquaintances.

A real friend is someone you could phone at 3 am when you’re in trouble and know they’d be out to help you in a heartbeat.

Such people are worth their weight in gold, and you should never take them for granted. They’re special, and you should appreciate them being in your life because not everyone is quite so lucky.

Here are 15 funny quotes on friendship that, for me, touch on the very essence of what it all means.

Funny quotes on friendship:

  1. Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
  2. Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
  3. Friends come and go, but enemies hang around like a bad smell.
  4. When our phones fall, we panic. When our friends fall, we laugh.
  5. If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need.
  6. Never let your best friends get lonely. Keep disturbing them.
  7. You have a problem when your imaginary friend thinks he has a problem.
  8. There’s nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.
  9. Friends come and go, like waves on the ocean, but true friends stay like an octopus on your face.
  10. A best friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find, but you’re lucky if you have one.
  11. Laughing is one of the best exercises. It’s like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it’s even better with a friend.
  12. I’d walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that’s dangerous, but a super humid room. Well not too humid, because you know, my hair.
  13. I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny-looking hats.
  14. Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl’s best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.
  15. I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Poem about friendship:

Friendship is such an important part of our lives; I’m sure you’ll agree, dear reader. So, you might be interested in this poem I wrote on friendship and how I see it.

Please share with your friends:

If you found these quotes inspiring, interesting, and amusing, then please share this blog post on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now. If you do, I’ll be ever so grateful.

Thank you.

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