How to spot a liar and be your own lie detector

09/13/2025 by

Today, I want to talk about how to spot a liar.

Introduction:

“Liar, Liar pants on fire” as the old saying goes but how to spot a liar in any situation? If only it were so easy to spot a liar, simply by looking at whether his or her pants were on fire.

Unfortunately, that’s not the way life works.

And handy as it might be to carry around a lie detector at all times, that wouldn’t be very practical either, would it? Well, not a lie detector of the physical variety anyway.

So what’s the next best thing?

The next best thing would be if we could become our own lie detector, surely?

However, would that be possible?

The answer is yes. With a little effort, it’s possible to develop the skills to spot a liar. You just need to think about the signs.

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Become a lie detector:

Now, this is important because we live in a world where we’re constantly bombarded with fake news, weasel words, half-truths, untruths and outright lies.

Politicians are the worst culprits but just about everyone in life tells the occasional lie when they feel it’s necessary.

That’s human nature, of course. This means we must learn the skills that will allow us to judge whether what we are being told is the truth or a lie at any given time.

How to spot a liar:

So how do you spot a liar?

Essentially it’s all about looking for clues.

Those little signs will reveal whether what we’re being told is likely to be true or not. A lie detector looks for clues and we can too.

In the TED Talk video embedded here, Pamela Meyer offers her observations on the signs or clues to watch out for to see if someone is lying to you.

I must say that I found this video both useful and interesting and it’s worth a few moments of your time.

The ability to spot lies is a powerful skill which everyone can develop.

You can become your own lie detector and it’s worth the effort.

If you can only work on developing one skill then lie spotting would be a good one I think.

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The 4 steps to financial freedom

09/12/2025 by

Financial peace isn’t the acquisition of stuff. It’s learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can’t win until you do this. ~Dave Ramsey

Many people are searching for the steps to financial freedom. Search the internet, and there will be references to seven, eight, nine, and even ten steps, but I think only four steps matter.

However, before I discuss those steps, let us first think about the biggest cause of people remaining poor, namely the debt burden.

Statistics suggest that most people these days are heavily in debt. And debt is a burden that enslaves us. Knowing we have debts can be stressful.

What is the underlying cause of such debt? That’s simple. Mostly, it’s the overuse of credit cards with little or no thought to how this will affect our financial well-being.

Unsecured debt built up through the excessive use of credit cards is expensive. Very, very expensive!

That means even a small sum outstanding on a credit card can quickly become a large debt due to the effect of compound interest if you only make the minimum payment each month.

Are you affected by debt, dear reader? Are your finances out of control? Would you like to achieve financial freedom?

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Steps to Financial Freedom:

People often say, “If only I could increase my income, I could pay off my debts.”

Those same people, if they did increase their income, would probably just spend more. And financial freedom would remain a distant dream.

If financial freedom is your aim, then you must take control of your finances. The steps to financial freedom are as follows:

1. Spend less than you earn:

It all starts with spending less than you earn. If you spend less than you earn, you can work on becoming debt-free and then start to build capital.

2. Pay yourself first:

You must always pay yourself first. What does that mean? It means that as soon as you get paid each month, you take a minimum of 10% of what you earn and put it away somewhere safe immediately.

Never, ever wait until the end of the month to see what you’ve got left.

If you do that, you’ll never save anything.

If you take 10% upfront, it will just be another debit on your income like taxes and pension contributions. You’ll quickly get used to having only the remaining 90% to live on.

And what do you do with the 10% or whatever you’ve put away?

3. Eliminate credit card debt:

Initially, if you have a credit card debt burden, then it makes sense to use that money to deal with paying off your debt first because the interest you’ll pay on the debt is always greater than any interest you’ll get on savings.

To pay off your credit card debt, you must find a way to eliminate the interest element each month so that any payments you then make go against the outstanding balance.

And how is that done?

Well, when you take out a new credit card account, it often comes with a period of zero interest, usually six months. These accounts also usually allow you to transfer in outstanding debt from another credit card account.

So by moving from one card provider to another and transferring the debt across to the new account, you then have a period of six months to make payments against the outstanding balance without accumulating interest on the old debt.

Never, ever use this card to increase your debt. Use it only to reduce your debt.

At the end of the period of zero interest on your new card, repeat the process if necessary. Once again, you move to another card account offering you a zero-interest period. By focusing only on the outstanding balance, it will be paid off sooner.

Eliminating the burden of debt is the first step on the road to financial freedom.

Freedom from debt will give you peace of mind. And that peace of mind is a good reason for spending less than you earn.

Once the debt is cleared, what next with the money you’ve paid yourself first?

4. Build capital:

Initially, put your money into a savings account. Then, as that builds into a larger sum, you can start thinking about other forms of investment like stocks, bonds, and property.

Once you develop the habit of putting some of your money away each month, it’s amazing how quickly it accumulates into a decent capital sum, and you’ll be on the road to achieving financial freedom.

Conclusion:

Learn to live within your means.

If you live modestly and spend your money wisely, you can ensure that you have enough money when you need it.

You can also build that nest egg for your retirement and give a little back to those less fortunate than yourself. And you’ll feel so much better about yourself, too.

Conversely, gathering too much clutter through excessive spending on things you don’t need can become stressful, as well as wasteful. The choice is yours.

Financial freedom is achievable, and it will give you peace of mind.

You will sleep better knowing you’re debt-free.

The steps to financial freedom are quite simple. Spend less than you earn; pay yourself first; eliminate expensive credit card debt; and start building capital.

Do this, and one day your older self will be grateful you made the effort, I can assure you.

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5 very powerful quotes with observations on their meaning

09/11/2025 by

If you’re looking for some very powerful quotes, dear reader, then there are five great ones here for you today.

And I’ve added my observations on what they all mean.

I hope you find the quotes interesting. Certainly, I did. And I hope my comments also add some value to you today.

Please feel free to pass them on to your friends.

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Very Powerful Quotes:

1. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you learn to do it well. ~Zig Ziglar

Even the greatest exponents of any skill you care to mention started as complete beginners. That’s a fact.

Whether it’s a great football player like Cristiano Ronaldo or a rock guitar god like Jimmy Page, they all had to start somewhere.

In the beginning, they wouldn’t have produced anything special, I am sure, although they may have shown some early talent, I guess.

Anyway, dedication to their craft and a determination to hone their skills are what would have taken them from being ordinary to being quite extraordinary.

To be good, talent helps, of course. However, nothing matches dedication and determination if you are to excel at what you do.

If you want to be the best, you’ve got to get started, and then it’s all about practice, practice, and more practice.

Before you can be the best, you’ve got to pay your dues first.

The very best people will have spent thousands of hours developing their skills long before entering the public’s consciousness.

People who succeed have paid their dues and earned their success. Success comes at a price, and the price has to be paid first.

You don’t get anything for nothing.

What you get out is proportional to what you put in.

That’s the first law of achievement.

2. You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. ~C.S. Lewis

Age is just a number. It doesn’t have to be a constraint on your life.

You’re not on the scrap heap just because you’ve reached 50, 60, 70, or whatever.

You can still learn something new, and there are still places to go and explore.

Perhaps you’re too old to play for Liverpool FC, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t get involved in football (or soccer, as many prefer to call it) in some way.

You may never be able to play the guitar like Jimmy Page or Eric Clapton, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to play a musical instrument.

You may never win an Oscar, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t get involved in amateur dramatics.

And you may never outsell J. K. Rowling, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t write a book and get it published, or at least self-published.

With the Internet, eBooks, and social media, the opportunities for making your name have never been greater.

Today, you can write an eBook, self-publish it, and sell it on Amazon. I’m told that’s precisely how E.L. James of 50 Shades of Grey fame started.

If a book seems like a big step, then how about writing a blog?

WordPress is not difficult. I spent $100 on a one-day course to learn WordPress, and I’ve never looked back. And of course, knowing WordPress, you can set up a blog easily and quickly.

One of the advantages of age is that you’ve learned a lot along the way. So you can share your wisdom and experience.

You can make a real contribution if you want to.

So why not give it a go?

It’s never too late to become the person you really could be.

You’ve got a lot to offer. Please don’t keep it all to yourself. That would be such a waste, and there’s still an opportunity to leave a legacy.

3. With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Yesterday’s dead and gone. However good or bad it was, it’s now nothing more than a footnote in history.

So leave the past where it belongs, in the past.

Today is different.

At the beginning of a new day, anything is possible.

Learn from the past, of course, but don’t dwell on your mistakes, your bad luck, or the disappointing outcomes you wish had been different.

You can’t change the past, so focus on what can be achieved today and in the future.

Take strength from the present and think positive thoughts.

A positive mental attitude will carry you further than you think.

Remember: You’ll never have today again, so make sure you enjoy it.

4. Be miserable or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice. ~Wayne Dyer

Now, life may have been mean to you, dear reader, but so what? The reality is that life’s been mean to a lot of people.

However much life’s let you down, you’ll find that no one’s impressed with self-pity. No one wants to go to a pity party.

Self-pity is an unattractive quality, to say the least.

Everyone’s struggling with their own lives, so they don’t need your misery to bring them down even further.

If you want to be appreciated, you must be positive.

It all comes down to the choice you make. It’s better that you add something to other people’s lives rather than take something away.

You can choose to ignore your troubles and be positive, or not.

It’s a fact that your outlook, sunny or otherwise, will have an impact on how other people treat you.

Cheer them up, and they’ll love you.

Make them feel depressed, and they’ll head for the hills the moment they see you.

So what are you going to be? Remember, it’s a choice.

You can be the person who makes people smile when you enter a room.

Alternatively, you can be the person who makes people smile when you leave.

That choice is yours, but I know which one I prefer.

5. The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you and whose presence calls forth your best. ~Epictetus

How often do other people put us down?

They belittle our ambitions and tell us we’re getting above ourselves.

“You’re not good enough for that,” we’ll hear people say.

“You don’t have the brains or the talent” will be another response.

Then you’ll be told, “Oh, people from your background can’t do that; it’s not for you.”

Eventually, if you’re not careful, you start to believe it all.

And then you’re destined for nothing more than a life of mediocrity, just like those people who were putting you down.

And that’s the point.

The real issue is that they resent your ambition because they don’t have any ambition or lack the confidence to try anything new.

They dislike the idea of you going places and getting on in life because they’ve never achieved anything.

Their opinions are presented to you as well-meaning advice, of course. However, they’re jealous.

They deliberately put you down in the hope that you won’t achieve anything more than them.

So, don’t be fooled.

Surround yourself only with people who encourage your ambitions.

People who will offer you guidance to help you get to where you want to go.

Don’t allow negative people to put you off.

If you want to do something, then you have a go at it.

If you stick with it, you can succeed. Other people do, so why not you?

However, even if you don’t, it’s better to try and fail than never to have tried at all. At least you’ll know for sure whether something was right for you or otherwise.

Don’t allow the years to slip by with you wondering what might have been.

The message here is: Believe in yourself and keep company only with positive people. The negative ones will do your head in.

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Did you enjoy reading it? Did you find the quotes inspirational?

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People love powerful quotes, so go on, please share this post now.

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How to build confidence and self-esteem

09/11/2025 by

5 Proven Strategies for Personal Growth:

How to build confidence and self-esteem? Interesting question.

Building confidence and self-esteem is a journey that can transform your life. It’s about recognizing your worth and believing in your abilities.

Boosting self-confidence involves taking small steps each day to improve how you see yourself.

One way to start is by changing negative self-talk. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to replace those thoughts with more positive ones. This can help shift your mindset over time.

Taking care of your body can also boost confidence. Eating healthy foods and exercising regularly can make you feel stronger and more energized. This physical boost often leads to feeling better about yourself overall.

Key Takeaways

  • Self-confidence grows through daily positive actions and self-talk
  • Physical self-care supports mental well-being and self-esteem
  • Building a supportive environment helps maintain confidence long-term
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Understanding Self-Esteem and Confidence

Self-esteem and confidence shape how we view ourselves and interact with the world. These qualities affect our thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being. They can be improved through practice and self-awareness.

The Psychology of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to a person’s overall sense of self-worth and value. It develops from early childhood experiences and continues to evolve throughout life. People with high self-esteem tend to have a positive self-image and feel worthy of respect and happiness.

Those with low self-esteem may struggle with negative self-talk and doubt their abilities. They often compare themselves unfavorably to others and have trouble accepting compliments.

Self-esteem impacts many areas of life, including:

  • Relationships
  • Career choices
  • Decision-making skills
  • Ability to handle stress

Improving self-esteem involves challenging negative thoughts and practising self-compassion. This process takes time but can lead to significant positive changes.

The Interplay Between Self-Esteem and Confidence

While related, self-esteem and confidence are distinct concepts. Confidence refers to trust in one’s abilities in specific situations. It can vary depending on the task or circumstance.

A person may have high self-esteem but low self-confidence in certain areas. For example, someone might feel good about themselves overall but lack confidence in public speaking.

Building confidence often involves:

  1. Setting small, achievable goals
  2. Practicing new skills regularly
  3. Celebrating successes, no matter how small

As confidence grows, it can positively impact self-esteem. Likewise, higher self-esteem can make it easier to develop confidence in new areas. This creates a positive feedback loop that enhances both qualities over time.

Cultivating a Positive Mindset

A positive mindset helps build confidence and self-esteem. It involves changing how we think about ourselves and the world around us. This change can lead to better mental health and more success in life.

Challenging Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can hurt a person’s confidence. It’s that voice in their head that says mean things. People can learn to spot this talk and fight back.

One way is to write down negative thoughts. Then, look for proof that they’re wrong. Often, there isn’t any. Another trick is to ask, “Would I say this to a friend?” If not, it’s too harsh.

People can also try to change negative thoughts to neutral ones. Instead of “I’m so dumb,” they might think, “I’m still learning.” This is more fair and kind.

Embracing Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are good things people say to themselves. They can boost mood and confidence. To use them, pick a few short, true statements.

Examples might be:

  • “I am capable and strong.”
  • “I learn from my mistakes.”
  • “I am worthy of love and respect.“

It helps to say these out loud each day. Writing them down works too. The key is to pick ones that feel true. Over time, the brain starts to believe them more.

Fostering Gratitude

Gratitude means feeling thankful for good things in life. It can make people happier and more confident. There are easy ways to practice it every day.

One idea is to keep a gratitude journal. Each night, write down three good things that happened. They can be big or small. Another way is to tell others “thank you” more often.

People can also try a gratitude walk. During the walk, they notice things to be thankful for. It might be nice weather or a pretty flower. This helps train the brain to see the good in life.

Practical Steps to Build Confidence

Building confidence takes effort and practice. These steps can help boost self-esteem and develop a more positive self-image.

Setting and Achieving Realistic Goals

Start by setting small, achievable goals. This helps create a sense of accomplishment and builds momentum. Break larger goals into smaller tasks to make them less overwhelming.

Make small promises to yourself and follow through. This builds self-trust and confidence in your abilities.

Track progress and celebrate small wins. This reinforces positive behavior and motivates further action.

Gradually increase the difficulty of goals as confidence grows. This allows for continuous growth and development.

Developing Assertiveness and Healthy Boundaries

Practice speaking up for oneself in a calm, clear manner. This helps build assertiveness skills.

Learn to say “no” to requests that don’t align with personal values or goals. This establishes healthy boundaries.

Express thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. This improves communication and self-assurance.

Stand up for personal rights and needs while respecting others. This balance is key to healthy assertiveness.

Cultivating Strengths and Acknowledging Success

Identify personal strengths and talents. Focus on developing these areas to boost confidence.

Take on new challenges that align with strengths. This provides opportunities for growth and success.

Keep a record of accomplishments, big and small. Review this list regularly to remind oneself of past successes.

Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk. This helps reframe negative thoughts and builds a more positive self-image.

Accept errors gracefully and learn from mistakes. This fosters resilience and continued personal growth.

Overcoming Challenges to Self-Esteem

Building self-esteem takes effort and persistence. It’s normal to face setbacks. The key is learning how to handle common roadblocks in healthy ways.

Dealing With Failure and Mistakes

Failure and mistakes can hurt self-esteem. But they’re normal parts of life. The trick is changing how you think about them.

Try to see mistakes as chances to learn. Ask: “What can I do better next time?” This helps you grow.

Be kind to yourself when you mess up. Talk to yourself like you would a good friend. Say things like “It’s okay, everyone makes mistakes.”

Make a list of times you bounced back from failure. Look at it when you’re feeling down. It can remind you that you’re strong.

Managing Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety and depression often go hand-in-hand with low self-esteem. They can make you doubt yourself. But there are ways to cope.

Try relaxation techniques like deep breathing or muscle relaxation. These can calm your mind and body.

Challenge negative thoughts. When you think, “I’m not good enough,” ask, “Is that really true?” Look for proof that you are capable.

Exercise can boost mood and confidence. Even a short walk can help. Eating well and getting enough sleep matter too.

If anxiety or depression feel too big to handle alone, talk to a doctor or therapist. They can offer more support.

Stopping the Comparison Trap

Comparing yourself to others can really hurt self-esteem. But it’s a hard habit to break. Here are some tips:

Focus on your own progress. Keep a journal of your achievements, big and small.

Remember that social media often shows only the best parts of people’s lives. It’s not the full picture.

Make a list of your unique strengths and talents. Everyone has different gifts. Yours are just as valuable as anyone else’s.

Practice gratitude. Write down three things you’re thankful for each day. This helps you see the good in your own life.

When you catch yourself comparing, try to shift your focus. Do something you enjoy or help someone else instead.

Self-Care for Self-Esteem

Taking care of yourself is key to building confidence and self-esteem. Self-care practices can boost your mood, reduce stress, and help you feel more positive about yourself.

Incorporating Exercise and Physical Activity

Regular exercise is great for self-esteem. It releases endorphins that make you feel good. Even short walks can help. Try to exercise 30 minutes a day most days of the week.

Some good options include:

  • Jogging
  • Swimming
  • Yoga
  • Dancing

Exercise helps people feel stronger and more capable. It can improve body image too. Setting and reaching fitness goals builds confidence that carries over to other areas of life.

Embracing Self-Acceptance Through Self-Care

Self-care rituals promote self-acceptance. Taking time for yourself shows you value your own wellbeing. Simple acts like getting enough sleep or eating healthy foods count as self-care.

Other ideas:

  • Take relaxing baths
  • Read enjoyable books
  • Spend time in nature

Treating yourself with kindness is key. Avoid negative self-talk that hurts self-esteem. Replace harsh self-criticism with gentler, more accepting thoughts.

The Role of Meditation and Mindfulness

Meditation and mindfulness can calm anxious thoughts that harm self-esteem. These practices help people tune into the present moment instead of worrying. Even a few minutes of meditation each day can make a difference.

Guided meditations are great for beginners. They lead you through the process step-by-step. Many free guided meditations are available online or through apps.

Mindfulness also helps people notice and refute negative self-talk. By observing thoughts without judgment, it’s easier to let go of self-criticism.

Nurturing a Supportive Environment

Creating a positive environment and seeking help when needed are key to building confidence. These steps can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself.

Surrounding Yourself With Positive People

Positive people can lift your spirits and boost your self-esteem. Choose friends who support and encourage you. Spend time with those who make you feel good about yourself.

Cut back on time with negative people. Their attitudes can bring you down. Instead, seek out upbeat, caring friends and family members.

Join clubs or groups with shared interests. This can help you meet like-minded folks. Look for activities that make you feel good and confident.

At work, try to connect with positive coworkers. Their outlook can rub off on you. Avoid office gossip and drama when you can.

Seeking Professional Help When Needed

Sometimes, we need extra support to build confidence. It’s okay to ask for help. A therapist or counselor can offer tools to improve self-esteem.

They can teach ways to change negative thinking. This helps you see yourself in a better light. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is often used for this.

Support groups can also be helpful. You’ll meet others facing similar issues. Sharing experiences can make you feel less alone.

If you’re not sure where to start, talk to your doctor. They can refer you to mental health services. Many workplaces also offer counseling programs.

Tools for Ongoing Confidence Building

Building confidence is a journey that requires consistent effort and the right tools. These methods can help you develop a stronger sense of self-worth over time.

The Power of Journaling

Journaling is a powerful tool for boosting self-esteem. It allows you to track your thoughts, feelings, and progress. Write down your daily accomplishments, no matter how small.

This practice helps reinforce positive self-belief. Try gratitude journaling to focus on the good things in your life. It can shift your perspective and improve your mood.

Use prompts to explore your emotions and experiences. For example: “What made me proud today?” or “How did I handle a difficult situation?”

Regular journaling can reveal patterns in your thinking and behavior. This awareness is key to personal growth and building lasting confidence.

Understanding the Root Cause of Low Self-Esteem

Identifying the source of low self-esteem is crucial for overcoming it. Common causes include:

  • Childhood experiences
  • Negative self-talk
  • Comparison to others
  • Past failures or rejections

Reflect on your past and present to pinpoint these factors. Ask yourself when you first started doubting your abilities.

Consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide tools to work through deep-seated issues.

Challenge negative thoughts when they arise. Replace them with more balanced, realistic views of yourself.

Remember that your worth is not determined by others’ opinions or past events. Focus on your strengths and unique qualities.

Continuous Learning and Personal Development

Engaging in ongoing learning helps build confidence and self-esteem. Set goals for personal growth and pursue new skills or knowledge.

Take online courses, attend workshops, or read books on topics that interest you. Each new skill you acquire boosts your self-belief.

Try activities outside your comfort zone. This expands your abilities and shows you’re capable of more than you thought.

Celebrate your progress along the way. Acknowledge how far you’ve come and the effort you’ve put in.

Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage your growth. Their positivity can reinforce your own self-confidence.

Remember that personal development is a lifelong process. Be patient with yourself as you learn and grow.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Building self-esteem and confidence involves various strategies and practices. These include positive self-talk, setting achievable goals, and recognizing personal strengths. Regular exercise and self-care also play important roles in boosting self-worth.

What are effective strategies to enhance self-esteem in adults?

Adults can boost their self-esteem by practicing positive self-talk. This involves challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with more balanced, realistic ones.

Setting and achieving small goals helps build a sense of accomplishment. Adults should celebrate their successes, no matter how small.

Engaging in activities that showcase personal strengths can increase feelings of competence and worth.

What can women do to improve their self-wares of approaches to build self-esteem in teenagers?

Teenage girls can improve their self-esteem by focusing on their unique qualities and talents. Encouraging them to pursue hobbies and interests they enjoy can boost confidence.

Teaching assertiveness skills helps teenagers stand up for themselves and their beliefs. This can lead to increased self-respect.

Promoting a healthy body image is crucial. Emphasizing health and strength over appearance can help build a positive self-image.

List some daily practices that can help boost confidence.

Regular exercise is a powerful confidence booster. It releases endorphins and improves overall mood and energy levels.

Practising gratitude by listing three things to be thankful for each day can shift focus to positive aspects of life.

Dressing in clothes that make one feel good can improve self-image and boost confidence throughout the day.

How can individuals overcome feelings of low self-esteem?

Identifying and challenging negative self-talk is crucial. Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques can help reframe harmful thoughts.

Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can provide new perspectives and coping strategies.

Setting realistic goals and working towards them can build a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.

What is the role of personal achievements in fostering self-confidence?

Personal achievements, big or small, serve as concrete evidence of one’s capabilities. They provide a foundation for self-belief.

Reflecting on past successes can boost confidence when facing new challenges. It reminds individuals of their ability to overcome obstacles.

Setting and achieving goals creates a positive feedback loop. Each accomplishment builds confidence for future endeavors.

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So please share it now. If you do, I will be forever grateful.

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The debate about identity politics and how we get beyond it

09/09/2025 by

The debate about identity politics has dominated much of the news for quite some time now. Surely we must find a way to get beyond it? In that, I refer to getting beyond the problems associated with identity, rather than the debate itself.

We’re all human beings first:

Whether we think of ourselves as Black, White, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or some other form of ethnic or religious identity, in reality, we’re all just members of the human race, surely?

In my opinion, we’re human beings first and other forms of identity second. We’re all just people.

Identity Politics
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We all want the same things:

As people, we all want the same things if you think about it.

Ideally, we all want a peaceful, prosperous life and a better world for our children.

We want a roof over our heads and the ability to put bread and food on the table.

Equally, we all want to feel secure.

We all want our lives to have a sense of purpose and a reason for us to get out of bed each day.

And, of course, we all want to enjoy some leisure time with family and friends occasionally.

Life’s too short:

Life’s too short to worry about anything else, surely?

As human beings, we have much more in common than we’re often able or willing to recognise, and those things that apparently separate us are often more imagined than real. Well, I think so anyway.

In my experience, there are good people everywhere you go in this world.

And yet, as human beings, we often fear people simply because they are not a reflection of ourselves.

We fear what we don’t understand.

If only we could see others as human beings first. They’re people just like us, with hopes, dreams, and a desire to be loved, accepted, and respected by others.

Respect people and get to know them:

If only we could treat people with respect, regardless of whatever sense of identity they present to the world. If only we could respect others just for being themselves.

I’ve been fortunate enough to live and work in many parts of the world, and I’ve learned that if you make the effort to get to know people, whoever they are, you begin to see them differently, regardless of their origin, ethnicity, or creed.

If you try to understand them and their lives, suddenly you realise that they’re actually just like you, or not so very different at least.

Wherever you go, people are just people. We laugh, we cry, we eat, we sleep, and we all have to go to the bathroom occasionally.

Yes, there are a few bad ones, of course, but most people are honest and decent, and if you treat them with respect, you will get their respect in return. In my experience, wherever you go, people want to be treated fairly.

Identity Politics
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Avoid making assumptions about people:

When you meet people from a culture that is different from your own, it’s easy to make assumptions about them. However, how can you be sure you’re right unless you get to know them?

Judging is easy, but it’s hard to know what someone else’s life is really like. Unless you’ve actually walked a mile in their shoes, you couldn’t possibly know what their life is really like or what challenges they face daily.

So you can’t judge anyone unless you make the effort to get to know them.

And for me, that’s the underlying problem for all humanity.

We judge people first without making the effort to get to know them. We make assumptions and judge on perceived stereotypes rather than treating people as individuals.

For instance, it would be easy to assume that all Muslims have the same extreme views as those fundamentalists making media headlines fighting for the establishment of the so-called Islamic State or ISIS.

I have lived and worked in the Middle East for many years, and I know that this is not true. Some of the finest people I’ve ever met are Muslims.

I have many Muslim friends for whom I have the greatest respect. I’ve also known many Christians, Jews, Buddhists, and more for whom I could make a similar comment.

Seek first to understand:

I’ve learned to treat people as I find them and not as others tell me I should find them.

I concern myself only with the content of their character. I try to treat others with respect, and I find that generally if I do, I get their respect in return.

If only we could all treat others in the way that we’d prefer them to treat us, then I think the world would be a better place. And surely our aim should be to make this world a better place?

In the words of Stephen R. Covey, we must:

Seek first to understand and then to be understood.

Identity politics:

Identity politics has the potential to divide us all in a way that could be detrimental to everyone, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We can get along with each other if we respect people for who they are and what they are and judge them only by the content of their character.

Look beyond obvious differences to the person within. It’s what’s on the inside of people that matters most. Well, that’s my opinion, dear reader.

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15 inspirational quotes on things that really matter

09/08/2025 by

Today, I thought it might be interesting to explore some inspirational quotes on things that really matter.

When our lives are busy, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters.

We sometimes get absorbed in things that we think matter, but eventually, we realise that they don’t.

In my opinion, the thing that matters most in life is people. And by people, I mean family and friends.

Human beings are social animals, and we need other people. Without family and friends, we have nothing.

Well, that’s what I think, but what do others think?

Here are 15 great quotes that will get you thinking about what matters. I’m confident you will appreciate them, dear reader.

So, see if you can work any of them into your day.

5 inspirational quotes on things that really matter
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Inspirational quotes on things that really matter (1-5):

  1. Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all. ~Arthur Balfour
  2. It’s not what you look at that matters; it’s what you see. ~Henry David Thoreau
  3. The summit is what drives us, but the climb itself is what matters. ~Conrad Anker
  4. It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong. ~Voltaire
  5. I’m having fun. I’m being myself. I’m doing what I love. That’s all that matters. ~James Charles

Inspirational quotes on things that really matter (6-10):

  1. The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters. ~Audrey Hepburn
  2. It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going. ~Brian Tracy
  3. It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance; it lasts so short a time. ~Samuel Johnson
  4. Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~Norman MacEwan
  5. The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money is neither likely to make money nor find much fun in life. ~Charles M. Schwab

Inspirational quotes on things that really matter (10-15):

  1. The greatest tragedy for any human being is going through their entire lives believing the only perspective that matters is their own. ~Doug Baldwin
  2. If life be short, then moderate your worldly cares and projects. Do not cumber yourselves with too much provision for a short voyage. ~Author Unknown
  3. Focus on what lights a fire inside of you, and use that passion to fill a white space. Don’t be afraid of the challenges, the missteps, and the setbacks along the way. What matters is that you keep going. ~Kendra Scott
  4. The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. ~Pearl S. Buck
  5. If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep even as Michelangelo painted, Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, “Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” ~Martin Luther King
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Why passion is the key to success

09/06/2025 by

Have you ever wondered why passion is the key to success, dear reader?

If success is your aim, then received wisdom suggests that you should find your passion. You’ve heard that before, I’m sure. However, the phrase is now spoken so often that it has become a bit of a cliché.

And of course, once something becomes a cliché, then it’s hard to take it seriously, wouldn’t you agree?

Then again, just because something has become a cliché doesn’t in itself mean that it lacks an underlying truth.

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Why passion is the key to success:

It must matter to you:

From experience, I can tell you that if you really want to succeed at anything, then whatever it is, it must matter to you. And I’m not talking about mattering just a little bit. I mean, it really, really, really must matter to you. It must be as important to you as the air that you breathe.

You can call it a ‘passion,’ you can call it something with which you have a ‘sense of connection,’ or you can call it your ‘Why.’

Whatever you call it, you’ll only have the determination to see it through as far as it goes if it actually matters to you.

Make your mark:

How lucky are those people who find something in life that matters so much that it drives them to make their mark? To be recognised for making a significant contribution to their chosen pursuit.

That pursuit could be painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument. It may be computers or fast cars. It may be starting a business and making serious money. Whatever it is, it’s that special something that, for those people, is not only interesting and absorbing but rewarding too.

It becomes so important to them that it would be their hobby if they couldn’t make a living at it. Because they love it so much, it’s not really working at all; for them, it’s a pleasure.

It’s not work if you’d do it anyway:

It’s something for which they have a sense of enthusiasm or ‘passion,’ and instinctively they recognise that it’s what they’re good at. And of course, because they love it, they practise and keep practising. And because they practise, they hone their skills, and they get even better at it. This creates a virtuous circle.

Constant practice will help you excel and reach the very top of your game.

Sadly, for most people, that special something is something they never find.

If you haven’t found it, keep looking:

However, if you’ve yet to find that special something, you must never stop looking. One day, you might stumble upon it, and it’s never too late for you to become the person you really could be.

That’s why passion is the key to success.

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How to love the life you live and live the life you love

09/04/2025 by

How to love the life you live and live the life you love? Now there’s a question.

Do you love the life you live? Do you enjoy your work? Life should never be just about work, but it’s a big part of our lives, so it affects how we feel about ourselves.

Do you get up each morning feeling inspired by what you’ll be doing during the day ahead?

A good question to ask yourself is the one Steve Jobs asks in the video below: “If you knew that today was the last day of your life, would you still be happy doing what you have to do today?“

Knowing we will die one day reminds us that our time is precious and we should use it wisely.

Life is short, and none of us knows when our final moment will arrive. So we must follow our heart and focus our energy on work that really matters to us.

If your work matters to you, then you’ll do it well. And if you do it well, you’ll make a difference. Make a difference and you’ll leave a legacy. Do this and you’ll love the life you live.

All of this is easier said than done, of course.

Many people experience life without any real sense of satisfaction. Far too many people experience a lifetime of disappointment and regret, too. This all adds up to people living lives they don’t love.

However, it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to accept a less-than-satisfactory life.

If your life is unsatisfactory, then you need to change. And change is possible.

A good place to start is by listening to the inspiring observations from the late Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, contained in the video ‘If today were the last day of my life‘ included below. His words are thought-provoking and powerful. I found this video truly inspirational, and I recommend it to you.

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How to love the life you live:

Before you watch the video, ask yourself this question. Between now and death, would you be happy to continue with the life you have right now?

No?

Then you must change and keep changing until you love the life you live.

Never accept second best because life’s far too short.

Remember: Whilst you have to make a living, you also have to make a life as well. So, have no regrets. Start making the life you want to live as quickly as possible. It’s later than you think.

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Self-promotion and why it matters if you want success

09/04/2025 by

The idea of self-promotion is something with which many readers might feel slightly uncomfortable.

Perhaps it leaves you feeling a slight sense of unease, dear reader: the idea of blowing your own trumpet and making sure that others know all about what you have to offer?

By self-promotion, I am referring to personal visibility, particularly in the office or workplace.

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Self-promotion:

Visibility matters:

Does personal visibility really matter that much, you may ask?

Well, that depends on how you think about it, really.

If you’re happy to plod along and accept whatever life decides you should have, then it probably doesn’t matter much at all.

However, if success is your aim or if you want to enjoy more of what life can offer, then personal visibility is essential.

Think about it. If I don’t know you exist, how can you be a solution to my problem?

How can I possibly know what you have to offer unless I have some visibility of you in action?

And then, if you hide your light under a bushel, how can you build a reputation?

Let’s face it, if I don’t know you exist, then to me you don’t exist at all.

Essential ingredient for success:

If success is your aim, then you have to be seen by people who matter, and you must make an impression on them too. That’s important, like it or not.

People need a reason to remember you. So make sure you give them a reason to remember you.

Ideally, you want them to like and respect you. Even if people love to hate you, that’s better than them being totally indifferent to you.

At least you’ll be known. You have to be visible. As the saying goes, ability without visibility is a liability. It is from your standpoint, anyway.

The product YOU:

The product that is You will only sell if people are aware it exists.

Self-promotion and personal public relations initiatives play a crucial role in building your reputation and creating demand for what you have to offer.

Humility is all very well, but diffidence is at best unwise.

You’ll never get anywhere unless you have visibility with the people that matter.

Think about the most successful people: people such as Barack Obama, Nelson Mandela, Donald Trump, Richard Branson, Elvis Presley, and John Lennon. Sadly, some are no longer with us. Nevertheless, these examples are still valid.

They all made an impression on you.

You may not like them, but you cannot ignore them. They all have or had that special quality known as presence. You couldn’t fail to notice them. They all have or had self-belief, too.

So make sure you get yourself noticed. Stand out in the crowd and give people a reason to remember you.

And remember this old Arab proverb:

Be contrary, be known.

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5 powerful quotes and the wisdom within

09/02/2025 by

Today, dear reader, I offer you five powerful quotes.

Not only that, I’ve added some thoughts that reflect the wisdom within these powerful quotes.

In other words, I aim to offer you some words of wisdom to inspire and motivate you. I hope this inspiration will get you thinking and, perhaps even, propel you down the road toward success. I hope so anyway.

Enjoy these powerful quotes, and please feel free to share them.

POWERFUL QUOTES
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Powerful Quotes:

1. Formula for Living:

Do you want to know my formula for living? I get up in the morning, and I go to bed at night. In between, I do the very best I can with what I’ve got, and I never, ever give up. ~Roy Sutton

Life doesn’t have to be complicated.

If you’re waiting for the perfect moment to get started, then the perfect moment is always right now.

Just get started and do what you can with whatever you’ve got.

No one gets dealt a perfect hand in life.

So play the cards you’ve been dealt and play them as well as you can. Always play to your strengths and keep going.

You’ll get there in the end.

If you can achieve your full potential and leave a lasting legacy behind, then yours will have been a life well lived.

2. Good health:

To keep the body in good health is a duty. Otherwise, we will not be able to keep our minds strong and clear. ~Buddha

A couple of years ago, I was reminded of the importance of taking care of my own health. I was struck down with a kidney infection, and I spent a week in the hospital receiving treatment to help me get over it.

It felt like a week of my life was lost. Not being able to do all the things I’d taken for granted proved very frustrating for me.

Generally, I’ve always tried to look after myself, but I was still unwell. So I’ll try a lot harder in the future.

Never again do I want to feel that unwell.

My time is precious, so above all, I don’t want to feel that I’ve lost any more of it. That would seem like such a waste to me.

If you don’t have your health, then you don’t have very much at all.

3. Happiness:

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it’s something you design for the present. ~Jim Rohn

Postponing your happiness until some unspecified future date would be like putting off having fun until your old age.

Why would that make sense to anyone?

We must be happy in the present moment.

Life isn’t perfect, and for almost everyone, it’s full of challenges, but it’s not all bad.

Happiness is a state of mind.

It’s a willingness to enjoy whatever it is that you have now and a determination not to worry about anything you don’t have.

You look for the positives in your life and try to forget about the negatives.

People often fret about things they don’t have, yet they fail to appreciate the good things in their lives.

Things like family and friends. And things like having a good laugh, too.

In reality, we can live without most stuff, despite what we might think.

It’s people who matter most. People include family, friends, workmates, and ordinary individuals we meet every day throughout our lives.

So enjoy what you have and forget about what you don’t have. You’ll be happier that way.

4. Attitude:

The choice to have a great attitude is something that nobody or no circumstance can take from you. ~Zig Ziglar

Let me tell you, nothing makes a better impression on me than someone with a great attitude.

And nothing makes a worse impression on me than someone with a bad attitude.

Your attitude defines you, and it will also shape your life experiences. That’s a fact, in my experience.

If you’re a Rock star or a Gangsta Rapper then perhaps a little attitude goes with the territory if you aim to appeal to a teenage constituency.

Occasionally, even in the real world, a little attitude might secure you an outcome you wouldn’t otherwise get simply because whoever you’re annoying wants to get rid of you.

However, mostly, a bad attitude will not get you anywhere worth going. Don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise.

You can choose to have a great attitude or not. That choice is yours, and so will be the consequences of your choice.

Take a tip from someone who knows: a positive attitude will beat a negative one every day, every week, every month, and every year. Simple!

5. Never, ever give up:

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. ~Thomas A. Edison

To succeed at anything, you must never, ever give up.

Yes, it’s hard, of course. It’s meant to be.

Nothing worth having ever came easy.

You must keep going until you reach your desired destination.

Yes, you’ll make mistakes. Yes, you’ll stumble from time to time. However, you must keep your eye on the prize.

If you really want it, it can be yours. If you don’t, you’ll give up and then make excuses.

You should always be driven by a desire to achieve your goals.

Winners never quit, and quitters never win. Which one are you?

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People love inspirational quotes, so share this post now.

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Your support is appreciated, dear reader. Thank you.

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