Self-promotion and why it matters if you want success

06/30/2024 by

Self-promotionThe idea of self-promotion is something with which many readers will feel slightly uncomfortable.

Perhaps it leaves you feeling a slight sense of unease dear reader; the idea of ‘blowing your own trumpet’ and making sure that others know all about what you have to offer?

By self-promotion, I am referring to personal visibility, particularly in the office or workplace.

Visibility matters:

Does personal visibility really matter that much, you may ask?

Well, that depends on how you think about it really.

If you’re happy to plod along and just accept whatever life decides you should have then it probably doesn’t matter much at all.

However, if success is your aim or if you want to enjoy more of what life can offer then personal visibility is essential.

Think about it. If I don’t know you exist, how can you be a solution to my problem?

How can I possibly know what you have to offer unless I have some visibility of you in action?

And then, if you hide your light under a bushel, how can you build a reputation?

Let’s face it, if I don’t know you exist, then to me you don’t exist at all.

Essential ingredient for success:

If success is your aim, then you have to be seen by people who matter and you must make an impression on them too. That’s important, like it or not.

People need a reason to remember you. So make sure you give them a reason to remember you.

Ideally, you want them to like and respect you. Even if people just love to hate you then that’s better than them being totally indifferent to you.

At least you’ll be known. You have to be visible. As the saying goes, ability without visibility is a liability. It is to you anyway.

The product YOU:

The product that is ‘You’ will only sell if people are aware it exists.

So self-promotion and personal public relations initiatives play an important role in building your reputation and creating a demand for what only you have to offer.

Humility is all very well but diffidence is at best unwise.

You’ll never get anywhere unless you have visibility with the people that matter.

Think about the most successful people; people such as Barack Obama, Nelson Mandela, Donald Trump, Richard Branson, Elvis Presley and John Lennon. Sadly some are no longer with us. Nevertheless, these examples are still valid.

They all make or made an impression on you.

You may not like them but you cannot or could not ignore them. They all have or had that special quality known as presence. You couldn’t fail to notice them. They all have or had self-belief too.

So make sure you get yourself noticed. Stand out in the crowd and give people a reason to remember you.

And remember this old Arab Proverb; Be contrary, Be known.

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27 quotes about self that’ll make you think

06/29/2024 by

quotes about selfToday I thought it would be interesting to explore some quotes about self because we should never underestimate the importance of self. 

Self is the people we are, but it’s also the people we could be. The mountains we could climb and the things we could achieve, with a little self-belief, determination and hard work.

As human beings, we all have enormous potential but sadly, for many people, that potential is never fully realised.

Dear reader, believe in yourself and you could go a very long way indeed. Your potential is limitless. Other people succeed and so could you.

So be inspired then go and show the world your authentic self.

And please feel free to share these quotes or use them when you next have a presentation to do.

Quotes About Self:

  1. Be that self which one truly is. ~Soren Kierkegaard
  2. To thine own self be true. ~William Shakespeare 
  3. Be yourself, but always your better self. ~Karl G. Maeser 
  4. Be bold, be brave enough to be your true self. ~Queen Latifah 
  5. The authentic self is the soul made visible. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach
  6. A day wasted on others is not wasted on one’s self. ~Charles Dickens
  7. If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self. ~Napoleon Hill 
  8. Men are moved by two levers only: fear and self-interest. ~Napoleon Bonaparte 
  9. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? ~APJ Abdul Kalam 
  10. There is no respect for others without humility in one’s self. ~Henri Frederic Amiel 
  11. To know one’s self is wisdom, but not to know one’s neighbours is genius. ~Minna Antrim 
  12. Inner beauty should be the most important part of improving one’s self. ~Priscilla Presley 
  13. If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. ~Marcus Garvey
  14. Freeing yourself was one thing; claiming ownership of that freed self was another. ~Toni Morrison
  15. There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self. ~Benjamin Franklin 
  16. Being cool is being your own self, not doing something that someone else is telling you to do. ~Vanessa Hudgens 
  17. There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self. ~Aldous Huxley 
  18. The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action. ~John Dewey
  19. The most satisfying thing in life is to have been able to give a large part of one’s self to others. ~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin 
  20. I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. ~Aristotle 
  21. Friendship with one’s self is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
  22. There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self. ~Ernest Hemingway
  23. People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. ~Thomas Szasz
  24. Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow You into your happiest, strongest, wisest self. ~Karen Salmansohn 
  25. Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. ~Golda Meir 
  26. Every human has four endowments – self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom. The power to choose, to respond, to change. ~Stephen Covey 
  27. If I could talk to my younger self, I would just say that the path to great things is filled with a lot of stumbles, suffering, and challenges along the way. But if you have the right attitude and know that hard times will pass – and you get up each time – you will reach your destination. ~Jonny Kim 

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90 funny anniversary quotes for that special someone

06/28/2024 by

Looking for some funny anniversary quotes, dear reader? A message you can use when you need to say something witty to that special couple or a loved one?

Well, today I’ve put together 90 amusing messages that I hope you’ll find useful, as well as make you smile.

Enjoy them all and feel free to use them when the need arises.

And if you like them, please pass them on.

Funny anniversary quotes:

1. Funny anniversary quotes for couples:

Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.

How you two are still married is one of life’s great mysteries.

If love is an amazing dream, then marriage is the alarm clock.

Imagine how different your lives would be if you hadn’t swiped right.

A good marriage is one where each partner secretly believes the other got the better deal.

A good marriage is like a casserole. Only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.

Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband. Happy Anniversary.

Well, you’ve made it through another year without one of you either ending up dead or in jail. That’s got to be a win.

Today you celebrate a decision you made long ago. Whether good or bad, decisions are always worth celebrating.

A wedding anniversary is a celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies depending on the year.

2. Funny anniversary quotes for wife:

Today we celebrate the best decision you ever made. Happy Anniversary!

I never knew what happiness was until I married you. By then it was too late.

It’s pretty cool that we’ve been together for however long we’ve been together.

Marriage is just a prison sentence without any prospect of time off for good behaviour.

They say don’t fall in love because it hurts. Well, you’ve proved it’s a risk worth taking.

That we were brought together as a couple surely proves that God has a sense of humour.

Today is a celebration of the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me. It was an impossible task anyway.

Today’s our anniversary. Certainly, you deserve a trophy for putting up with me, but surely I deserve one too for remembering the date?

Our anniversary reminds me that it’s possible for tolerance to triumph over adversity. Who knows how but we’ve definitely proved it’s possible.

You’re the blueberry to my muffin and the sizzle to my steak. With you, the years of wedded bliss have been a piece of cake. I love you always.

3. Funny anniversary quotes for husband:

Another year as my husband. Aren’t you a lucky man?

Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.

You know there’s a name for someone who’s always wrong and that name is husband.

Happy Anniversary. We’ve been through a lot together and most of it was your fault.

Everyone should have a husband like you. I don’t see why I should be the only one to suffer.

I still get that funny feeling in my tummy after all these years. When will I learn not to let you do the cooking?

I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you, even when you fart in bed.

Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember that I put up with you too. So I guess we’re even.

On our anniversary, I want you to know how much fun it’s been annoying you all these years and how much fun it will be to keep on doing so in the years ahead.

RULES FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE; Rule 1: Your wife’s always right; and Rule 2: When you think she’s wrong, slap yourself and read Rule 1 again.

4. Funny anniversary quotes for friends:

One year down and a lifetime to go. Enjoy the crazy ride.

The secret of a happy marriage? Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; and whenever you’re right, shut up

Your relationship works well because of the equal division of labour. He’s the boss and she makes all the decisions.

There are no guarantees when it comes to marriage. If it was a guarantee you wanted, you should have bought a toaster.

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

Forever is a long time, so buckle up and enjoy the ride. Marriage is never easy but it can be worth the effort, says the friend who’s not married.

A cynic might describe marriage as sacrificing the admiration of many for the constant criticism of one. But hey, I’m not a cynic. Happy Anniversary.

Wedding anniversaries are a time of reflection. People consider what it was they did before they were married. Well, if you’ve forgotten, it was anything you wanted to.

When you get to the end of your lives together, none of the possessions you had will matter at all. What will matter is that you managed to put up with each other for so long.

Surely the secret of a happy marriage is date nights. For him on Tuesdays and Thursdays. For her on Wednesdays and Fridays.

5. Funny anniversary quotes for parents:

Here’s to another year of love, laughter and putting up your kids.

Marriage lets you annoy that one special person for the rest of your life.

They say that being married is really something. Then again, so is a tea cosy.

Being married is like having a best friend who doesn’t remember anything you say.

Without the two of you, where would I be? Well, I guess I wouldn’t be anywhere at all.

You’ve unlocked the secret to a happy marriage when most people can’t even find the key.

You’ll never be a dull and boring married couple as long as you have kids as cool as we are. Happy anniversary Mom and Dad.

Being a mom and dad is a tough gig. You have to put up with each other and then you have to put up with me too. That’s got to be love.

They say that the longer parents stay together, the more they look like each other. Well, remember, I’ll be embarrassed if you grow matching beards.

A wedding ring may be like handcuffs from which you can’t escape but it’s nothing in comparison to having your own children. Mom and Dad, we love you.

6. Funny anniversary quotes for daughter and son-in-law:

Amazing! You’ve survived another year. Well done and happy anniversary.

Your wedding day is just a memory now. Well, it would be, if we weren’t still paying for it. Happy Anniversary

We hope your married life is proving to be just like ours. Why should we be the only ones to have suffered? Happy Anniversary

Some people spend their lives on nothing but hedonistic pleasure, whilst others just get married instead. Happy Anniversary

Happily married are just two simple words that are usually mutually exclusive. We hope you’re the exception to prove the rule.

Remember, if you want your marriage to last, the only time you should shout at each other is when the house is on fire. Happy Anniversary

We didn’t think it would last and no one’s more surprised than we are that it has, but we’re very happy for you both nevertheless. Happy Anniversary

There’s nothing like a perfect marriage. There’s no such thing. However, we hope yours is as close to perfection as possible. Happy Anniversary

They say that marriage is a challenging commitment. Well, now you know what taking on a challenging commitment really means. Happy Anniversary

An anniversary should be a joyful celebration, rather than an opportunity to reflect on what might have been. To be glad you did, rather than wish you didn’t. It all comes down to how you choose to see it. See it positively. Happy Anniversary

7. Funny anniversary quotes for son and daughter-in-law:

Congratulations on another year together. It’s not easy but it’s not meant to be. One day you’ll look back and laugh about the experience.

It’s remarkable how you manage to tolerate each other but you do, so best wishes on chalking up another year. Happy Anniversary

Dearest daughter-in-law, how you managed to civilise him we’ll never know but we’re so grateful you did. Happy Anniversary

How can any couple be so happy? It really is a puzzle. Then again, perhaps all is not what it appears to be. Happy Anniversary

Dear daughter-in-law, should you need a good laugh, you only have to look at our son. He’s enough to make anyone smile. Happy Anniversary

Blessings are sent to let you know you’re loved and remembered on this very special day. The anniversary of the day our lives were made so much easier.

Dear daughter-in-law, we prayed our son would find someone like you. A woman with the ability to put up with even the most challenging man.

On your wedding anniversary, dearest daughter-in-law, thank you for making an honest man out of him. That in itself is a considerable achievement.

Anniversaries are a sobering reminder that you’re stuck with each other for life. Either that or an expensive divorce. Either way, it’ll be costly.

Dear daughter-in-law, he’s the wind beneath your duvet. So, if you want a happy marriage, you’d better not feed him beans.

8. Funny anniversary quotes for girlfriend:

You must be a soccer player because you’re definitely a keeper.

You’ll never find the perfect man, so I hope you’ll stick with me.

Last year was difficult, so I’m hoping you won’t make this one quite as bad.

I’m so glad I asked you out when I did. I was surprised you agreed but I love being part of your life. Happy Anniversary!

I love the way you’re always laughing but then again, I guess I’m always giving you so much to laugh about.

With me, what you see is what you get. I know that’s been a disappointment for you but I’m glad you’ve stuck with me anyway.

I was lucky to meet a girl like you and one who overlooks my imperfections. It helps that you’re so short-sighted but thank you anyway.

It’s true, I forget to tell you how much I appreciate all the things you do for me, but I know I can always count on you being there to remind me.

Since we met, things have kept coming at me constantly from left and right. However, I believe you’ll keep your promise to stop throwing things at me.

Darling, I want you to know that I’d climb the mountains, trek through frozen tundra, and swim the oceans just to get close to you. However, I’d really appreciate it if you’d just take my word for it.

9. Funny anniversary quotes for boyfriend:

It’s our anniversary, so congratulations! I can still tolerate you!

If you were a triangle, you’d be an acute one! Happy Anniversary!

Just remember that I’m always right, and we’ll always get along fine!

Sometimes you make me madder than hell, and I’m sure you never know why. It’s your most endearing quality and I love you for it.

I love being with you. Then again, I’m not that fussy, so I’d be happy with anyone really.

It would be hard to picture a life without you. I mean who would pay the mortgage?

I thought that maybe something was missing from my life until I met you. Now I’m sure of it.

I hoped I’d meet Prince Charming one day. However it seems Prince Charming is in high demand, so I guess I’ll have to make do with you.

You came into my life and made all my dreams come true. You’re probably still wondering what you’ve done to deserve such a punishment.

Ever since we first met, you’ve changed my life in more ways than I can count. Then again, I was never very good at counting.

Please share:

Did any of these funny anniversary quotes make you smile, dear reader? I hope so.

If they did, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

20 classic Elaine Benes quotes that’ll make you smile

06/27/2024 by

Elaine Benes QuotesAnother offering in my series with the theme of memorable sitcom characters, today I thought it would be entertaining to take a look back at some classic Elaine Benes quotes.

Who can forget this brilliant character from the American sitcom Seinfeld, played by the hugely talented Julia Louis-Dreyfus?

Elaine was a woman holding her own in a man’s world. She was smart and funny and she brought a sparkle to the show. However, like all memorable sitcom characters, she was essentially a little flawed too, as you’ll appreciate from the quotes today.

If you love Seinfeld, I’m sure you will be a fan of Elaine Benes.

However, if you’re not old enough to remember Seinfeld and Elaine Benes, in particular, then you’ll find plenty of amusing clips from this sitcom, and featuring the character Elaine Benes, on YouTube.

They’re all brilliant and definitely well worth a little piece of your time.

So check them out but not before you’ve enjoyed these 20 classic Elaine Benes quotes, which I’m confident will raise a smile or two, and will probably resonate with many female readers too, I’m sure.

Elaine Benes Quotes:

  1. I’m dead now. Gotta go! ~ Elaine Benes
  2. I’m not a lesbian! I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian. ~ Elaine Benes
  3. Some people should just give up. I have. ~ Elaine Benes
  4. I once broke up with someone for not offering me pie. ~ Elaine Benes
  5. We just tease someone ’til they develop an eating disorder. ~ Elaine Benes
  6. I had to take a sick day. I’m so sick of these people. ~ Elaine Benes
  7. He’s a wonderful guy, but I hate his guts. ~ Elaine Benes
  8. Well, that’s the positive thing about getting sick, you get to lose weight. ~ Elaine Benes
  9. I think this is the same one I gave him. He recycled this gift. He’s a re-gifter! ~ Elaine Benes
  10. You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn’t necessarily make you a homosexual. ~ Elaine Benes
  11. I can’t do this anymore, it’s too long! Just tell your stupid story about the stupid desert and just die already! Die! ~ Elaine Benes
  12. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t break up nicely. I mean, to me, that’s one of the most important parts of a relationship. ~ Elaine Benes
  13. You know, men can sit through the most boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off. ~ Elaine Benes
  14. Here’s to those who wish us well, and those who don’t can go to Hell. ~ Elaine Benes
  15. I mean the problem is that the good ones know they’re good. And they know they’re in such demand they’re just not interested in confining themselves to one person. ~ Elaine Benes
  16. That’s the bra I gave her, she’s wearing it as a top! The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. She’s a menace to society. ~ Elaine Benes
  17. Kramer, you don’t understand. He made the last contact between us. I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand. ~ Elaine Benes
  18. You know your whole life you go through painstaking efforts to hide your nipple and then BOOM, suddenly hundreds of people get their own personal shot of it. ~ Elaine Benes
  19. Yeah, since she met him she’s been vomited on, her family cabin’s been burned down, she learned her father’s a homosexual, and she got fired from a high-paying network job. Yeah, they had a real good thing going. ~ Elaine Benes
  20. This whole sex thing is totally overrated. Now, here’s the one thing you’ve gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it’s over. I mean, something happens to their personality; it’s really quite astounding. It’s like they committed a crime and they want to flee the scene before the police get there. ~ Elaine Benes

Please share this post with your friends:

Did you find these classic Elaine Benes quotes amusing dear reader?

You did? I hope so anyway.

If you enjoyed them, please share this post with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins.

So please share this post now. If you can do that for me then I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience and that will be your good deed for the day.

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7 citas inspiradoras sobre el amor

06/26/2024 by

citas-sobre-el-amorTodos necesitamos amor y necesitamos sentir amor, ¿no estás de acuerdo, querido lector?

Los seres humanos somos criaturas emocionales y sociales y todos necesitamos a otras personas.

Necesitamos sentir que le importamos a otras personas. Y, por supuesto, también nos importan otras personas. Nuestra familia, nuestros amigos y nuestros seres queridos.

Sentimos amor por aquellos que nos importan y nuestro mayor amor es por esa persona especial que más importa.

Sentimos nuestro mayor amor por esa persona en cuya compañía siempre sentimos una sensación de satisfacción.

Si ha encontrado a esa persona especial, entonces tal vez debería arrodillarse y agradecer a Dios por el privilegio porque es realmente afortunado. No todo el mundo tiene tanta suerte.

Aquí hay 7 citas inspiradoras sobre el amor que te ayudarán a reflexionar sobre esta compleja emoción.

Sin embargo, recuerde esto; el amor por sí solo no sostendrá una relación.

Eso requiere trabajo duro y estar preparado para hacer concesiones, con frecuencia.

Sin embargo, sin amor, una relación no tiene ninguna posibilidad.

Si realmente amas a alguien, querrás lo mejor para ellos y estarás preparado para dejar de lado tus propias necesidades de vez en cuando para asegurarte de que sus necesidades también se satisfagan.

En una relación exitosa, todas las partes deben sentir que se respetan y satisfacen sus necesidades, al menos la mayor parte del tiempo.

Amor significa que no puedes salirte con la tuya todo el tiempo.

Citas sobre el amor:

  1. Donde hay amor hay vida. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  2. Solo hay una felicidad en esta vida, amar y ser amado. ~George Sand
  3. Una flor no puede florecer sin el sol y el hombre no puede vivir sin amor. ~Max Muller
  4. A veces, el corazón ve lo que es invisible a los ojos. ~H Jackson Brown
  5. Manten el amor en tu corazon. Una vida sin ella es como un jardín sin sol cuando las flores están muertas. ~Oscar Wilde
  6. Lo mejor a lo que aferrarse en la vida es el uno al otro. ~Audrey Hepburn
  7. El amor es la amistad que se ha encendido. Es comprensión tranquila, confianza mutua, compartir y perdonar. Es lealtad en los buenos y malos momentos. Se conforma con menos que la perfección y tiene en cuenta las debilidades humanas. ~Ann Landers

Comparta estas citas con sus amigos:

Si estas citas te parecieron inspiradoras e interesantes, comparte esta publicación de blog en las redes sociales con tus amigos. Cuando compartes, todos ganan.

Así que continúa, comparte esta publicación ahora.

Si lo hace, estaré muy agradecido y ayudará a un bloguero entusiasta a llegar a una audiencia más amplia.

Gracias.

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Filed Under: Citas en español

60 witty jokes with puns that will raise a smile or two

06/25/2024 by

jokes with punsIf you enjoy witty jokes with puns in them then today’s post was written just for you, dear reader. I’ve put together 60 great puns that I hope will raise a few smiles with readers.

They all made me smile and I hope they tickle you too.

Grab a coffee and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please fee free to pass them on to your friends.

Jokes with puns (1-20):

  1. A joke isn’t a dad joke until it’s full groan.
  2. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
  3. If you have any fresh vegetable puns lettuce know.
  4. I’ve just seen a baguette in the zoo. It’s bread in captivity.
  5. My friend has a dwarf cow that only gives condensed milk.
  6. I’m learning to count in binary and it’s as easy as 1 10 11.
  7. If a deaf man appears in court, is that still called a hearing?
  8. Why is it that you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
  9. I’ve been craving some oxygen and potassium. Is that OK?
  10. 50% off medieval punishment devices. Hurry whilst stocks last!
  11. Should the stealing of someone’s coffee be known as a mugging?
  12. I’m on a nut-free diet. I have to avoid people who drive me nuts.
  13. My son’s put his Grandma on speed dial. He calls it Instagran.
  14. I sympathize with batteries. I’m never included in anything either.
  15. What do we want? An end to acronyms. When do we want it? ASAP!
  16. What’s the difference between a fish and a piano? You can’t tuna fish.
  17. I’ve got a new job as a guillotine operator. I’ll beheading there shortly.
  18. Thanks to autocorrecting, I seem to be having some kind of midlife crisps.
  19. When you’re down by the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a Moray.
  20. I’m trying to think of an egg-sample of food that can be fried or boiled.

Jokes with puns (21-30):

  1. Apparently, the Wheelbuilders Association is looking for a spokesperson.
  2. Grammar’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.
  3. I’d never let my kids watch a symphony orchestra. There’s too much sax and violins.
  4. I’m always being criticized for my poor grammar but why can’t people just except it?
  5. I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator.
  6. My Eastern European mail-order bride is on her way from Prague. I’m told, the Czech’s in the post.
  7. My son’s been eating electrical cable, so I’ve had to ground him until he conducts himself properly.
  8. The President wants to ban pre-shredded cheese. Apparently, his aim is to make America grate again.
  9. Swarms of flying insects are threatening a town. Apparently, the police have deployed a SWAT team.
  10. My wife blocked me on Facebook because I’ve been posting too many bird puns. Well, toucan can play at that game.

 Jokes with puns (31-40):

  1. Did you know that the legendary martial artist and movie star Bruce Lee had a vegan brother? Apparently, his name was Broco Lee.
  2. Why does the Government keep referring to a “Roadmap out of lockdown” when I think it should be the “Road to de-mask-us?”
  3. I’ve been trying to think of a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it with my first try, but nobody saw it, so I guess I screwed up.
  4. There’s a story in the press about a man who assaulted his neighbour with milk and cheese. How dairy!
  5. My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. Apparently, Jack and the beanstalk.
  6. I’m planning to open a fitness centre for Star Trek fans. It will be called, “It’s Life Gym.”
  7. A German butcher traded a sausage for a seabird. Apparently, he took a tern for the wurst.
  8. There are no words in the English language with all the vowels in alphabetical order, I said facetiously.
  9. Why is the divorce rate so high amongst tennis players? Well, to them love is nothing.
  10. I’ve just seen a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. It was a little condescending.

Jokes with puns (41-50):

  1. My local hospital has a sign saying, “Thieves Operate Here.” Personally, I’d prefer that to be surgeons.
  2. Don’t tell your secrets in a garden. The potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the beanstalk.
  3. My geography teacher asked me what I knew about Damascus. I told her that as far as I know, it kills 99% of household germs.
  4. My child was refusing to come with me on a bike ride, so I had to use a little reverse cycology.
  5. A hole has been found in the perimeter wall surrounding the nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
  6. My wife told me that I have what it takes to light up a room, but only if I move away from the window.
  7. There are three types of people in this world. Those who can do arithmetic and those who can’t.
  8. Why do I always wear two pairs of pants when I’m playing golf? Because I always get a hole in one.
  9. I’ve just got back from my appointment with my physician. She said that I’ve got to have an earring made. Seemed like an odd thing for her to say.
  10. I confided with my father that my wife wanted me to stop living in an imaginary world. He said, “What wife?”

Jokes with puns (51-60):

  1. I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d ever been with and she said, “Yes.” Apparently, all the others had been nines and tens.
  2. If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do the other team members have to drown too?
  3. DAD: Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field. DAUGHTER: What’s that got to do with anything? DAD: It’s pasture bedtime.
  4. Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles, my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. Thirty years and not a crossword between us.
  5. A friend of mine has taken early retirement from the Post Office. Apparently, he couldn’t refuse the package they offered.
  6. A lot of people are shocked when they find out what a terrible electrician I am.
  7. I arrive early for my booking at the restaurant last night and the manager asked me if I’d wait a little. “That’s fine,” I said. To which he responded, “That’s great! Take these drinks to Table 5.”
  8. Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at me and I was like, “What the Hellman!”
  9. There was a huge fight last night at my local seafood restaurant. Apparently, there was battered fish everywhere.
  10. Everyone at Liverpool’s John Lennon International Airport has been quarantined. Imagine ….. all the people.

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How to break a bad habit and improve your life

06/24/2024 by

How to break a bad habitWhen it comes to bad habits, we can all be guilty, at least to some degree. So people often consider the question, how to break a bad habit?

Do you have any bad habits dear reader? Now be honest with yourself.

I refer to those little, irritating patterns of behaviour you simply can’t help. Those obsessions you may have occasionally. Perhaps you have one or two bad habits you’d really like to break?

Now habits can be hard to break of course, particularly bad ones.

So here’s another question. Could you break bad habits simply by being more curious about them?

Well the psychiatrist Dr Judson Brewer certainly has an opinion to offer on that issue.

Dr Judson Brewer studies the relationship between mindfulness and addiction and in the TEDTalk included in this post he shares his views on everything from smoking to over-eating to all those other things we do even though we know they’re bad for us.

If you want to learn more about the mechanism of habit development then you’ll find this video interesting and it’s definitely worth watching.

If you have habits you’d really like to break then it would certainly make sense for you to learn more about how you developed those habits in the first place.

The more you understand the better you’ll be able to take action and break those bad habits.

So take a few minutes now and listen to what Dr Brewer has to say. It’ll be well worth a little of your time I promise.

How to break a bad habit:

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30 funny dating profile examples or how not to write one

06/23/2024 by

funny dating profile examplesIn days gone by the dating game was simple. You went to a dance on a Saturday night and, with a bit of luck, you met someone nice who was willing to see you again.

Obviously, the modern dating scene is very different. The age of the dating app makes the process difficult, insofar as you don’t get to meet someone unless they like what they see and what you have to say in your profile.

So you need a flattering photo, naturally, as well as a great sales pitch. And it really needs to be a sales pitch because you are actually trying to sell yourself to any potential dates who are checking out your profile.

A good sales pitch should highlight your unique selling proposition and the reasons why you’re a worthy date. Your words should be positive and scream “I’m a great catch, so grab me whilst I’m still available.” In short, your words should be a call to action.

Any decent salesperson could tell you this, so there’s nothing unique in what I’m saying here. You’d think it was obvious, wouldn’t you?

Following a close inspection of a few dating apps, I can tell you that there are plenty of people out there who haven’t helped themselves when they wrote their profiles.

However, whilst such people don’t necessarily do themselves any favours with their profiles, their words have the potential to make us all laugh.

So here are 30 funny dating profile examples that really made me smile. These are from real apps, albeit I wonder whether some were written tongue-in-cheek.

Funny dating profile examples (1-15):

  1. Miserable soul looking for love.
  2. Recovering alcoholic seeking soul mate.
  3. My life’s a car crash, can you make it better?
  4. I’ve just got the all-clear, so I’m ready for love again.
  5. Manic depressive looking for a nice girl to cheer him up.
  6. If you’ve got a fetish for body odour then I’m your man.
  7. I hate men but could you be the one to change my mind?
  8. So far, I’ve had 60 lovers at college, will you be my 61st?
  9. Looking for someone to pay my bills and take care of me.
  10. If you’ll be my meal ticket I’ll be your pampered princess.
  11. My relationships never work out but I’m willing to try again.
  12. Angry bitch looking for that special one to make his life hell.
  13. Don’t think of me as bald, think hairstyle that says minimalism.
  14. If you can handle a drama Queen then I could be the one for you.
  15. Served my sentence for assault and battery. Now looking for love.

Funny dating profile examples (16-30):

  1. If you’ll cook, clean and do my ironing then you’re the girl for me.
  2. I enjoy long walks and candlelit dinners and someone to pay the bill.
  3. Bad teeth, bad breath, body odour and acne but otherwise a great catch.
  4. Had my fun and I’ve got three kids to prove it. So what can you offer me?
  5. If you’re looking for a fixer-upper then I could be the challenge you need.
  6. As long as I always get my own way in every situation, I can be flexible.
  7. I hate everyone, so why should I like you? You’ll need a good story to tell.
  8. If you’re looking for a bird with a lot of troublesome baggage, then I’m your girl.
  9. My mother will always be my first priority but if that works for a girl like you, swipe right.
  10. If you’re looking for someone considerate, kind and caring then you’d better swipe left.
  11. I’ve got all the looks, charm and intelligence anyone could possibly want and I’m modest too.
  12. With three kids and one on the way, I’m looking for a father for them. Could you be the one?
  13. I can be difficult, jealous, sarcastic and moody. Could you be the one to make me happy?
  14. You could be my downtime, my spare time, my part-time, and my sometime. Someone I turn to when I’ve nothing better to do.
  15. Bald man with no job, no money, no prospects and living with his parents is looking for a good woman with her own house and car. Could you be the one?

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If any of these funny dating profile examples made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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19 inspirational quotes about life and success today

06/22/2024 by

quotes about life and successIf you want to be successful, observe successful people and do what they do. If it worked for them then it will probably work for you.

In life, if you’re determined and you’re prepared to work hard you can achieve almost anything. However, success means different things to different people. What does it mean for you?

Perhaps you’d be happy with a steady job and a decent wage?

Alternatively, success for you might be becoming a Hollywood movie star, possibly?

Well, it doesn’t really matter how you define success. Just decide what it is you want and then go for it.

Here are 19 inspirational quotes about life and success to help you reflect on what it all means to you.

Quotes about life and success (1-13):

  1. Don’t go through life, grow through life. ~Eric Butterworth
  2. Action is the foundational key to all success. ~Pablo Picasso
  3. Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. ~Albert Einstein
  4. Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. ~Dale Carnegie
  5. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. ~Mark Twain
  6. However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. ~Stephen Hawking
  7. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. ~Buddha
  8. The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed. ~Eminem
  9. Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. ~Albert Schweitzer
  10. Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles that he has overcome. ~Booker T. Washington
  11. I do not think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature. ~John D. Rockefeller
  12. Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Lao Tzu
  13. The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand. ~Vince Lombardi

Quotes about life and success (14-19):

  1. Grit is that extra something that separates the most successful people from the rest. It’s the passion, perseverance, and stamina that we must channel in order to stick with our dreams until they become a reality. ~Travis Bradberry
  2. Like success, failure is many things to many people. With Positive Mental Attitude, failure is a learning experience, a rung on the ladder, a plateau at which to get your thoughts in order and prepare to try again. ~ Clement Stone
  3. We learned about gratitude and humility – that so many people had a hand in our success, from the teachers who inspired us to the janitors who kept our school clean… and we were taught to value everyone’s contribution and treat everyone with respect. ~Michelle Obama
  4. At the end of the day, you are solely responsible for your success and your failure. And the sooner you realize that you accept that, and integrate that into your work ethic, you will start being successful. As long as you blame others for the reason you aren’t where you want to be, you will always be a failure. ~Erin Cummings
  5. Before success comes in any man’s life, he’s sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and the most logical thing to do is to quit. That’s exactly what the majority of men do. ~Napoleon Hill
  6. Ultimately, leadership is not about glorious crowning acts. It’s about keeping your team focused on a goal and motivated to do their best to achieve it, especially when the stakes are high and the consequences really matter. It is about laying the groundwork for others’ success, and then standing back and letting them shine. ~Chris Hadfield

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25 quotes about believing in yourself to inspire you

06/21/2024 by

Looking for some quotes about believing in yourself, dear reader? Then I’ve got 25 great quotes for you today.

I’m a great believer in self-belief. If you want to achieve anything, then it starts with believing in yourself. It doesn’t matter whether others believe you can do it, as long as you believe you can do it.

So if there’s something you want to do, and it’s something you believe you can do, then go for it. What’s the worst that can happen? You try and fail. And if that happens, at least you won’t spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.

And who knows, you might make a huge success of it all. Others succeed, so why not you? And why not now?

Just give it a go. Either you’ll succeed or you’ll learn a valuable lesson. Either way, you win. So what’s not to like about that.

So be inspired by these 25 quotes about believing in yourself. And feel free to share them with your friends.

Quotes about believing in yourself:

  1. You’ve got to keep believing. ~Dontrelle Willis 
  2. Luck is believing you’re lucky. ~Tennessee Williams 
  3. Believe you can and you’re halfway there. ~Theodore Roosevelt
  4. Believing in yourself and having confidence gives you outer strength. ~Nikki Bella 
  5. Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. ~Voltaire 
  6. This may sound a bit naive, but I got here by believing in big dreams. ~Howard Schultz 
  7. Life’s like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending. ~Jim Henson 
  8. When times are down, keep believing, keep working hard, and things will pick up. ~Harry Kane 
  9. Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying. ~Martin Luther 
  10. A man lives by believing something: not by debating and arguing about many things. ~Thomas Carlyle 
  11. There is no substitute for hard work. Never give up. Never stop believing. Never stop fighting. ~Hope Hicks 
  12. Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 
  13. There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing. ~Maya Angelou 
  14. When I was a boy, I always saw myself as a hero in comic books and in movies. I grew up believing this dream. ~Elvis Presley 
  15. I’m not sure what you need first – the players believing or others believing in them – but in the end, both have to think it. ~Jurgen Klopp 
  16. You can do anything as long as you don’t stop believing. When it is meant to be, it will be. You just have to follow your heart. ~Keke Palmer 
  17. Your ego can become an obstacle to your work. If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity. ~Marina Abramovic 
  18. It’s all about believing in yourself and knowing your worth and being optimistic and really just loving yourself for who you are. ~Normani Kordei 
  19. Never quit believing that you can develop in life. Never give up. Don’t deny the inward spirit that provides the drive to accomplish great things in life. ~Jon Huntsman, Sr. 
  20. We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving, and we all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing. ~Louisa May Alcott 
  21. Persistence pushes me to be bold and seek out the opportunities I’ve wanted. It starts by envisioning what you want, no matter how big or small, and believing that you can achieve it. ~Belinda Johnson 
  22. What you believe is very powerful. If you have toxic emotions of fear, guilt and depression, it is because you have wrong thinking, and you have wrong thinking because of wrong believing. ~Joseph Prince 
  23. Believing in yourself and what you do is so important. It took me a long time to find that confidence. If you’re an artist and you’re taking risks, then you’re doing something right, even if some people don’t get it. ~Kate Voegele 
  24. Work hard for what you want because it won’t come to you without a fight. You have to be strong and courageous and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. If somebody puts you down or criticizes you, just keep on believing in yourself and turn it into something positive. ~Leah LaBelle 
  25. Striving for success is healthy – but believing you need to succeed the first time around may backfire. Mentally strong people believe failure is part of the process toward a long journey to success. By viewing failure as a temporary setback, they’re able to bounce back and move forward with ease. ~Amy Morin 

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