Roy Sutton, Author at Roy Sutton

What matters most in life? People or money?

02/18/2024 by Roy Sutton

What matters most in life? People or money? Think about that for a second or two.

Occasionally, I’m sure we all think to ourselves, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be rich and financially secure?“

It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? Money, money, money!

You’d be able to do whatever you want, travel anywhere, and buy anything. Whether it’s a nice house, a fabulous car, the best clothes, the latest fashions, or the latest gadgets, you could have them all.

No more searching for cheap flights or even cheaper holidays.

And you wouldn’t have to worry about a job anymore, would you?

Wealth would mean the end to all your problems, surely?

Wealth is not a life without problems:

If only it were that easy, dear reader. Wealth, if you had it, might eliminate some of your problems, but it would also present you with lots of new ones.

Remember, riches may be chains of gold, but chains of gold are still chains.

Everyone has problems, regardless of any wealth and privileges they may enjoy. They’ll just have different problems.

Caretaker of your possessions:

If wealth is something you’ve yet to experience, then it may not be obvious to you, but once you’ve got plenty of money, you become the caretaker of your possessions.

You worry about losing your wealth. And you worry about the volatility of financial markets and how your wealth will be affected, both now and in the long term.

When you’ve got money, plenty of people will be hoping they can separate you from at least some of it. It seems like everyone is trying to sell you something and/or give you advice at a price.

Others will resent your wealth:

And don’t forget, many people will resent you for your wealth. Not everyone will be happy for you, that’s for sure.

Then you become a magnet for criminals, con artists, and even politicians who want a piece of your wealth.

You don’t know who you can trust anymore. Do people become your friends because they like you, or are they simply after your money? Once you’ve got wealth, it’s virtually impossible to know.

The impact of instant wealth:

However much you may dream of winning the lottery, for instance, it would have an impact on your life in ways you couldn’t begin to imagine. It wouldn’t solve all your problems; it would present you with many more.

If you’ve suddenly gained wealth and your friends haven’t, then your relationship with them is unlikely ever to be the same again. Even if you share some of your sudden wealth with them, it’s unlikely to help.

Whatever you share with people from your winnings, will just create tensions within your friendship group. Why did you give her X and I only got Y? That will be one accusation you’ll hear frequently, for instance.

What matters most in life?

If you are wealthy, dear reader, I’m pleased for you. Enjoy it all.

For those people working hard to become rich, good luck to you. I hope you achieve your goals and enjoy your wealth when you find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

However, whatever your financial circumstances, never forget this: only people matter.

You can have all the money in the world, but without your family and close friends, you would have absolutely nothing at all.

It’s the people in our lives that make life worth living.

They make us laugh, and they make us cry. They’re there for us when we need someone to listen; someone to put an arm around our shoulder and tell us that everything will be fine; and someone to give us a pat on the back when we’ve done well.

Money might make life comfortable, but does it make you rich? I don’t think it does.

If your life is blessed with good people who care about you, then that’s when you’re truly rich. If you also have a sense of purpose and a hobby, then you have all you need. Anything else is a bonus.

Money is nice to have, of course, and I wouldn’t discourage anyone from seeking to build wealth. Quite the contrary, you should always be trying to build your little nest egg for the future.

However, money alone will not make you happy. To be happy, your life needs people, purpose, and a pastime.

These are the things that matter.

Money is simply the icing on the cake. It is nice to have, but it is not essential to your happiness. Whereas having people in your life is essential to your happiness.

If you could only have either money or family and friends, which would you choose? I’d choose the people every time.

Did you find this article interesting and useful, dear reader?

If so, then please share it on social media with your friends.

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Thank you.

15 hilarious jokes that might just make you smile

02/17/2024 by Roy Sutton

Jokes are always popular with readers, so once again I’ve been searching the Internet for stuff to make you smile.

Here are 15 hilarious jokes that made me laugh, and I hope they will brighten your day too. Yes, they’re corny, but they’re still very funny, I think.

They are all classified as ‘Author Unknown’ as I’ve been unable to confirm the identity of the original authors. However, I’d be happy to add appropriate writing credits to every joke if anyone can advise me as to their origin.

So take a few moments to enjoy them all, and please feel free to pass them on.

Hilarious Jokes:

A naked woman robbed a bank.
Nobody could remember her face.

My girlfriend hated my endless stream of police puns.
So, I decided to give it arrest.

What do you get if you Google ‘missing medieval servant’?
Page not found.

Patient: Doctor I’m so nervous, this is my first operation.
Doctor: Oh, don’t worry. It’s mine too.

Don’t be sad when a bird poops on your head.
Just be happy that dogs can’t fly.

My girlfriend isn’t talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday.

When a cougar’s old and needs a hearing aid, what does she become?
A Def Leppard.

If you rub your eyes with ketchup, what will you benefit from?
Heinzsight!

My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances.
Well, she’s in for a shock.

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein?
No whey Jose.

My girlfriend has her own taser.
She’s a real stunner.

I bought a dog off a blacksmith recently.
As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

What do you do with an epileptic lettuce?
You make a seizure salad.

A man walked into a zoo and the only animal they have was a dog.
It was a Shih Tzu.

When pharmacists get sick, what do doctors give them?
A taste of their own medicine.

So, dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these hilarious jokes made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then click on the links below.

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Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, fun, funny, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Life, smile, Stress-free

6 really funny jokes that will certainly make you smile

02/16/2024 by Roy Sutton

If you’re looking for some really funny jokes, then take a look at the six I’ve got for you today. They all made me smile, so I hope you’ll enjoy them too.

Take a few moments to enjoy them and feel free to pass them on to your friends.

Really Funny Jokes:

1. Flatulent Old Lady:

An old lady was having an embarrassing problem with bloating and gas, so she decided to see her physician.

“Hello Mrs Johnson,” said the doctor, “and what’s troubling you today?”

“Well Doctor Carmichael,” she responded, “I can’t stop breaking wind. Fortunately, they’re silent and they don’t smell but it does feel embarrassing. Honestly, I’ve farted several times whilst I’ve been sitting here. What can I do?”

The kindly doctor smiled at her and said, “Mrs Johnson just take these pills three times a day for seven days and then come back and see me as soon as you’ve finished the medication.“

One week later Mrs Johnson is back in the doctor’s office and is clearly unhappy.

“Doctor, I don’t know what was in those pills you gave me last week but my problem is even worse,” she said.

“In what way?” the doctor enquired.

“Well I’m still breaking wind just as much and they’re still silent,” she said, “but now the smell is terrible. I mean they really stink.”

“Excellent!” said the doctor. “That means we’ve fixed the problem with your sinuses. Now let’s see what we can do about your hearing.”

2. The Potato Peeler:

Sean was leaning against the counter in a Dublin bar enjoying a pint of Guinness when in walked his old friend Paddy looking decidedly glum.

“What’s the matter with you Patrick?” said Sean. “You’ve got a face on you like a wet weekend.”

“Oh, Sean,” he said. “I’ve just been fired from my job in the Fish & Chip shop.”

“You’ve been fired? Now, why would they do that to you, Patrick? What did you do that was so bad?” Sean enquired.

“Oh, I got caught putting my johnson in the potato peeler,” Paddy responded.

“My God! Patrick that’s terrible. What happened to the potato peeler?” Sean naturally enquired.

“Oh, she’s been fired too.” Said Paddy looking a little sheepish.

3. Farmer Jim’s Accident:

Farmer Jim decided to take the trucking company responsible for his accident to court because of the severity of his injuries.

Needless to say, the trucking company hired a fancy lawyer and whilst questioning Farmer Jim in the courtroom he enquired, “Is it not true that at the scene of the accident you said specifically, in front of witnesses, ‘I’m fine’?“

Farmer Jim responded, “Sir, let me tell you what happened. I had just loaded my best mule Bessie into the…….“

“I didn’t ask you for any details sir,” the lawyer interrupted, “Answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’ Yes or No?”

Farmer Jim said, “Well, I’d just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road….“

Once again, the lawyer was quick to interrupt Farmer Jim mid-sentence.

Looking at the Judge the lawyer said, “Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman at the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.“

Well as luck would have it, the judge was interested in what Farmer Jim had to say, so he said to the lawyer, “I’m sorry sir but I’d like to hear what this man has to say. So I would ask him to continue with his story.”

Jim thanked the Judge and continued.

“Well,” he said, “I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and I was driving her down the highway when this huge truck with a trailer ran the stop sign and T-boned my truck.”

“And then what happened?” The Judge enquired.

“Well, I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other,” Jim responded.

“And were you hurt?” The Judge asked.

“Yes,” said Jim. “I was hurting real bad and I didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.”

“And then what happened?” the Judge asked.

“Well, shortly after the accident the Highway Patrolman appeared at the scene,” Jim said.

“And what did he do?” the Judge responded.

“Well Your Honor, he could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her momentarily he then took out his gun and shot her between the eyes,” said Jim.

“And did you say to the Highway Patrolman that you were fine?” The Judge asked.

“Well,” said Jim. “After he shot Bessie, he came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me and said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had no choice but to shoot her. How are you feeling?’”

4. You can’t win:

After 15 years of marriage, my wife complained frequently about my absent-minded habit of not putting the cap back on the toothpaste after I brushed my teeth.

It irritated her to the point where she’d embarrass me about it when we were out with friends.

So, naturally, I decided to change this bad habit to make my wife happy.

For a week, I made sure that I always replaced the cap on the toothpaste, every time I brushed my teeth.

I know it was a small gesture, but I thought my wife would at some point express her appreciation that I was at least trying to change my ways.

Yesterday we were out for dinner with friends when she suddenly remarked, “Why have you stopped brushing your teeth?“

Moral of the Story: Marriage can be a challenging relationship.

5. Day of Reckoning:

A Catholic priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates as St Peter processes the new arrivals to the Kingdom of Heaven.

Ahead of the priest in the queue is a guy dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, jeans and a leather jacket.

This guy gets to the front of the line and St Peter looks at his clipboard, looks the guy up and down and then asks, “Could you tell me your name please, so I may confirm whether you’re to be admitted to the Kingdom of Heaven?”

“Sure!” says the guy. “I’m Joe Cohen and I was a taxi driver in New York City.”

St Peter looks down his list and ticks off Joe Cohen’s name. He then smiles and says to the taxi driver, “Take this silken robe and the golden staff Mr Cohen and you may enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Joe Cohen smiles and walks through the Pearly Gates in his silken robe and carrying the golden staff, whilst it’s the priest’s turn with St Peter.

Before St Peter can utter a single word the priest says, “I’m Father Joseph O’Donnell and I have been the parish priest at St Andrews Roman Catholic Church in Manhattan for the past 40 years.”

Once again St Peter consults his clipboard, ticks off Father O’Donnell’s name and then says, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff father and you may enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Having seen Joe Cohen receive a silken robe and a golden staff Father O’Donnell is left feeling a little short-changed.

“Hold it there, just a minute,” said Father O’Donnell. “How is it that Joe Cohen got silk and gold and yet I only get cotton and wood? How can this be? Surely there’s some mistake?”

“No mistake,” St Peter responded. “In heaven, we reward by results. When you gave your sermons your congregation slept. When Joe Cohen drove his taxi his passengers prayed.”

6. The Annual Check-up:

An 85-year-old man was visiting his doctor for his annual check-up.

“So Mr Jenkins, how are you keeping?” the doctor enquired.

“Doctor, I’ve never felt better,” Mr Jenkins responded. “I’ve even married my 18-year-old girlfriend recently and she’s now pregnant with my child. So, how about that then?”

The doctor considered this momentarily and then said, “Let me tell you a story, Mr Jenkins. A friend of mine was a keen hunter. One day he went out in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up an umbrella instead of his gun.”

“Really?” said Mr Jenkins.

“Yes,” said the doctor. “Anyway, he was in the woods when suddenly a very large grizzly bear appeared in front of him. He raised his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?”

Dumbfounded the old man said, “No Doc, what?”

“The bear dropped dead in front of him,” the doctor replied.

“No Doc, that can’t be right.” said the old man. “That’s impossible! Someone else must have shot the bear.”

The doctor smiled and said, “Exactly!

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes?

If any of these really funny jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share it now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

You might like to try these free games too:

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: Amuse, Amusement, Black Humor, fun, funny, Hilarious, humor, humour, jokes, Life, smile, Stress-free

67 Affirmations for Women: Make Your Story Count

02/15/2024 by Roy Sutton

Ladies, never underestimate the power of positive affirmations. Women have more power than they realise. You can achieve whatever you want to achieve, within reason, if you set some challenging goals and pursue them with determination and hard work. You can accept life as it is or pursue the life you want. It won’t happen by accident, but if other people can make it happen, so can you.

So, here are 67 positive affirmations for women, which I hope will inspire you to create the life you want and realise your full potential.

As a bonus, I also offer you 5 ways to stop feeling inadequate.

Remember who’s in charge:

I am the captain of my own ship:
I recognize the importance of independence.
I’m in charge of the decisions I make.
I take full responsibility for everything I do.
I learn and grow from every challenge I overcome.
I understand the importance of making positive, empowered choices and changes in life.
I make healthy decisions and always grow.
I seek guidance and support from others and develop with their advice and my own free will and independence.
I appreciate the value of freedom.
I understand that I am on my path and my path alone.
I celebrate the successes of those around me and continue my personal and independent journey.
I learn and reflect on my actions and behaviour.
I allow positive thoughts to flood my mind and flow through my body.
I feel in control when I make empowered, exciting decisions.
I recognize that I can create my own story and I’m in charge of my destiny.
I celebrate my freedom, and I use it responsibly.
I choose how I treat others.
I ensure I treat those around me with kindness, support, interest, love, and respect.
I treat others in the ways that I wish to be treated.
I share positive thoughts with others and encourage them to do the same.
I recognize that I can use my intelligence as a force for change.
I am aware that my actions have an impact on the world.
I strive to ensure my impact is a supportive, loving, and positive one.
Today, I celebrate my free-thinking, supportive attitude to life.
I am my own boss.

Self-Reflection Questions:

Am I making positive changes for myself?
Am I allowing myself to remain focused and positive in my daily life?
Am I reflecting on my behaviour throughout my daily life?

The world is a wondrous place:

I appreciate the world around me.
I take a moment to look around at the beauty in front of me.
I can see the world is truly beautiful and incredible.
I look at every part of the wonderful world and appreciate it all.
I look at the leaves on the trees and appreciate that they change colour as the seasons progress.
I look at the majestic trunks of the trees around me and am in awe of their power and design. The trees stand majestically, dancing their merry dance.
I am privileged to be sharing space with them.
I look at the clouds and realize how vast and wonderful the world is. The clouds make me realize the world is full of endless hope and possibility.
I can feel the wind on my face and the droplets of rain covering my body.
I feel alive, safe, and free.
I realize that the weather is wild and free, not controlled by any human.
I can be inspired by the weather as I strive to create my own path.
I can be wild and free, choosing my own path.
I consider the journey I am on.
I marvel at my body and the incredible way it keeps me alive.
I celebrate the amazing, incredible work it does for me and feel privileged to enjoy the beauty of the world around me.
Today, I appreciate the world around me and realize how blessed I am to be alive.

Self-Reflection Questions:

Am I celebrating my successes?
Am I taking time to explore the world and celebrate nature?
Am I living in the present moment?

Life is a journey:

I am thankful for life’s journey.
I appreciate the journey of my life.
I value the path that teaches me each day.
I can always find something to appreciate about my journey.
I look for ways to be grateful. There is beauty in everything around us.
I let go of regrets.
I let go of the fear of failure.
I embrace change.
I embrace each experience that helps me learn.
I grow stronger as I learn from new experiences.
I appreciate everything that has led me to where I am today.
I continue to grow both personally and professionally.
I am committed to learning all there is to learn.
I learn constantly and keep moving forward.
I am blessed by many things. Through these blessings, I learn so much about the universe and myself.
I am grateful for all my blessings.
I accept my gifts and share them.
I celebrate all my successes with gratitude.
I take the lessons I learn through making mistakes and turn them into opportunities to grow.
I understand that hard work, patience, persistence, dedication, perseverance, focus, and determination pay off. My road is long and rewarding.
In the present moment, I am complete. I give thanks as I accomplish my goals and dreams. I know my efforts pay off. The rewards are immeasurable.
Today, I acknowledge the power of my spiritual connection.
I connect with all beings.
I honour the divine energy within each person.
I feel a profound sense of peace and love.

Self-Reflection Questions:

Why does this affirmation resonate with me?
In what ways do I see myself growing spiritually?
How can I cultivate more appreciation for my journey?

Stop feeling inadequate:

It’s natural on occasion to question whether you are enough. You may wonder if you’re good enough for your friends, your family, your job, and the lifestyle you choose to lead. Such thoughts may lead to feelings of being inadequate. This happens to most of us, at least occasionally.

Although this is not a great feeling to have, it only needs to be temporary.

Such feelings should encourage you to do some self-reflection and focus on all the positive parts of your personality. The good and the not-so-good.

Allowing yourself time for reflection will allow any feelings of inadequacy to disappear.

Take a moment to consider how you can change these feelings!

How to stop feeling so inadequate:

1. Remind yourself of your success:

Sometimes, all it takes is a moment where you remind yourself how far you’ve come.

Draw up a list of everything you are proud of. Consider any educational courses you’ve taken, achievements from your job, and the activities, events, books, television shows, and even clothes that you like and appreciate.
Write down everything that allows you to identify yourself as an individual.
Doing this allows you to look at your achievements, your likes, and dislikes, and all the different aspects of your personality that make you relevant, important, and interesting.
Writing these ideas down can help you to condense, collate and organize your thoughts and remind yourself of just how far you’ve come in this difficult world!
It is far too easy these days to compare yourself to everyone else.
Whether it’s on social media, conversations with our friends, or just judging somebody who is walking down the street, we all tend to compare ourselves to somebody else.
It’s time to stop those comparisons. They are unhealthy and toxic and will cloud your judgment with negative thoughts.

2. Understand that you are unique:

Remember the previous suggestion, where you write down your successes, likes, and dislikes that define you as a person.

It’s a great way of reminding yourself that you have your personality and shouldn’t be comparing yourself to anyone else.
Remember; you are enough as you are.

This may sound somewhat counterproductive, but it could be that some of your friends in your friendship group have inadvertently made you feel inferior or inadequate.

Consider trying to meet new people with new points of view. They will be less likely to judge your lifestyle, or your choices and they can get to know you for the individual that you are.
Don’t ignore your current friends, just have a wider circle with new points of view!

4. Do something for yourself:

Whether you want to go on vacation for a while or want to start a new hobby, take the plunge, and do something different.

You’ll feel much more in control if you dare to take a chance and do something for yourself.
You won’t feel inadequate, instead, you’ll feel excited and full of purpose.

Social media can be useful, interesting, and fun, but it can also be toxic at times. With social media, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others in the same way we compare ourselves to other people in person.

Consider deactivating or taking a break from social media for a while and allowing yourself to live in the moment and enjoy everything that you have around you.
Your social media accounts will still be there to come back to after you’ve had a break, and you’ll view them with a new perspective.

A feeling of being inadequate can be hard to shake off. However, it’s not impossible. You just need to make sure that you don’t compare yourself to others and that you live your individual, authentic life to the best of your ability.

Conclusion:

Your life can be better than it is, but it won’t happen by accident. You need to identify the life you really want, then the steps you need to take to get there. Once you’ve done that you need to set some goals and pursue them with determination, hard work, and a refusal to quit until you get to where you want to be.

It’s not easy, of course, but other people do it and so can you.

Nothing worth having ever comes easy. Nevertheless, other people succeed, so why not you?

Why not have a go? Yes, you might not get there but it’s better to try and fail than to never try at all. At least you won’t look back and wonder what might have been. And you might surprise yourself.

Affirmations are how you will keep yourself going until you have the life you desire.

Go for it!

Did you find this article interesting and useful, dear reader?

If so, then please share it on social media with your friends.

When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share it now. If you do, I’ll be forever grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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Filed Under: Wisdom

50 quotes on self-improvement to inspire you to achieve

02/14/2024 by Roy Sutton

Looking for some quotes on self-improvement that will inspire you to be more than you are, dear reader? Then you’re in the right place because I have some brilliant quotes to offer you today.

These are some of my favourite quotes of all time, and I always feel inspired when I read them.

So, take a few minutes, relax, and see which ones inspire you the most. Any that you really like, please feel free to add them to your journal.

If you don’t keep a journal, you should. I keep one, and in it, I make a note of anything and everything that inspires me. That’s where I’ve created the resource for all of these quotes on offer now.

Anyway, enjoy them all, and then please pass them on to your friends.

Quotes on self-improvement (1-10):

If you can dream it, you can do it. ~Walt Disney
The only journey is the one within. ~Rainer Maria Rilke
All things are difficult before they are easy. ~Thomas Fuller
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. ~Mark Twain
It always seems impossible until it’s done. ~Nelson Mandela
You just can’t beat the person who never gives up. ~Babe Ruth
Set your goals high, and don’t stop till you get there. ~Bo Jackson
It is never too late to be what you might have been. ~George Eliot
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. ~Carol Burnett
You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind. ~Joyce Meyer

Quotes on self-improvement (11-20):

My purpose is to lift your spirit and to motivate you. ~Mavis Staples
Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds. ~Gordon B. Hinckley
Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. ~Robert H. Schuller
The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. ~Harry Golden
Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star. ~W. Clement Stone
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. ~Arthur Ashe
In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. ~Nikos Kazantzakis
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. ~Confucius
When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go. ~Carol Burnett
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. ~Charles R. Swindoll

Quotes on self-improvement (21-30):

The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other. ~Walter Elliot
Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. ~Samuel Beckett
Opportunity does not knock it presents itself when you beat down the door. ~Kyle Chandler
A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success. ~Joyce Brothers
Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. ~William James
Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay. ~Simone de Beauvoir
The will to succeed is important, but what’s more important is the will to prepare. ~Bobby Knight
Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. ~Vince Lombardi
Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. ~Martin Luther

Quotes on self-improvement (31-41):

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. ~Robert Louis Stevenson
Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them. ~Ann Landers
Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having, except as a result of hard work. ~Booker T. Washington
Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~Thomas A. Edison
I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. ~Jimmy Dean
There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self. ~Aldous Huxley
Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. ~Swami Sivananda
Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. ~Nido Qubein
If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes. ~John Wooden
You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plough right ahead. ~George Lucas

Quotes on self-improvement (42-50):

I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit’. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’ ~Muhammad Ali
Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. ~H. L. Hunt
If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. ~John D. Rockefeller
Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong. ~Ella Fitzgerald
If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. ~Jim Rohn
If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride, and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards. ~Bear Bryant
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style. ~Maya Angelou
I learned that we can do anything, but we can’t do everything, at least not at the same time. So think of your priorities, not in terms of what activities you do, but when you do them. Timing is everything. ~Dan Millman
Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. ~Don Miguel Ruiz

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21 quotes about success that will make you think

02/13/2024 by Roy Sutton

Many people say they want to be successful, but few achieve success in any meaningful way.

That said, one person’s success is another person’s failure.

We all have different ideas about what constitutes success.

For some people, it’s all about owning a million-dollar mansion, whereas for others, just being happy and content would be their measure of success.

What does success mean to you?

There are 21 thought-provoking quotes about success in today’s post to help you reflect on what success means to you.

However you choose to define success, it is possible to get to where you’d like to be with effort and determination.

Just decide where you want to go and don’t stop until you get there, though not before you’ve read today’s thought-provoking quotes about success.

Not only are they thought-provoking, but you should find them motivating and inspirational too, dear reader. I hope so, anyway.

Quotes about success:

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work. ~Stephen King
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. ~Herman Cain
Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again. ~Richard Branson
Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat. ~Malcolm S. Forbes
The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny. ~Albert Ellis
You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction. ~George Lorimer
If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it. ~Olin Miller
The successful man is the one who finds out what is the matter with his business before his competitors do. ~Roy L. Smith
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. ~Lucille Ball
Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds. ~Orison Swett Marden
You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else. ~Albert Einstein
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln
Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. ~John R. Wooden
Spend eighty per cent of your time focusing on the opportunities of tomorrow rather than the problems of yesterday. ~Brian Tracy
Success means having the courage, determination, and will to become the person you believe you were meant to be. ~George Sheehan
The secret to success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. ~Benjamin Disraeli
There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed. ~Ray Goforth
Don’t wait. The time will never be just right. ~Napoleon Hill
You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives. ~Clay P. Bedford
The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself. ~Mark Caine
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in and day-out. ~Robert Collier

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4 Hilariously Funny Short Story Jokes

02/12/2024 by Roy Sutton

If you’re looking for some hilariously funny short story jokes, dear reader, then I’ve got four today that you might just enjoy.

Take a few moments to check them out, and then please feel free to pass them on to your friends.

Hilariously funny short story jokes:

1. Jackie and the Game Warden:

Steve and Jackie went on vacation to a fishing resort in Montana.

Steve was a keen fisherman, and he liked to go out fishing early in the morning. Whereas when she’s on vacation, Jackie prefers to just relax and read a book.

One morning, after a few hours of fishing on the lake, Steve returned in his boat and, feeling a little tired by now, decided to take a midday nap.

At this point, Jackie is feeling in need of a little fresh air, and though unfamiliar with their boat, she decided to take it out onto the lake.

So she motored out a short distance, anchored the boat, and then continued reading her book in the peace and tranquility of this beautiful part of the world.

Jackie’s sitting and reading for about half an hour when suddenly the Game Warden’s boat pulls up next to her boat.

“Good day, mam,” said the Game Warden. “What are you doing?”

“I’m reading a book,” Jackie replied.

“Mam, do you realize that you’re in a restricted fishing area?” said the Game Warden.

“Does that really matter?” said Jackie. “I’m not fishing; I’m reading.”

The Game Warden cast his experienced eye over her boat and then said, “Mam, I can see your boat has all the equipment for fishing. For all I know, you could start at any moment. I’m afraid I’ll have to write you up a ticket.”

Jackie smiled and then said, “Officer, if you do that, I will file a complaint against you for sexual assault.”

Surprised and slightly concerned by her response, the Game Warden said, “Mam, what do you mean? I haven’t laid a finger on you.”

“Perhaps,” said Jackie, “but you have all the equipment to do so. For all I know, you could start at any moment.”

“You have a nice day, mam”, said the Game Warden, as he re-started his engine and sailed away, leaving Jackie to her reading.

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with women. You won’t win.

2. The silent treatment:

Frank and his wife, Liz, were giving each other the silent treatment after an argument.

This had gone on for 10 days when Frank realized he needed her to wake him the following morning at 5 a.m. so he could catch the 8 a.m. flight to Los Angeles for a very important business meeting.

However, Frank didn’t want to be the first to break the silence, so he left a note on her bedside table that read, “Please wake me at 5 a.m.”

The next morning, he woke up only to find it was already 9 a.m. So he’d missed his flight to Los Angeles.

Frank was furious, and he was about to ask his wife why she hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper on his bedside table. It read, “It’s 5 a.m. Wake up.”

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with women. You won’t win.

3. A woman’s contribution:

One evening, Bill returned home from work only to find his home completely wrecked and upside down. Everything was a complete mess.

Bill’s three young children were still in their pyjamas, eating snacks from the fridge. The entrance rug, normally in the hall, was lying on the table. The television in the living room was blasting out cartoons loudly. And every item of furniture in the room was covered in stuff.

He walked into the kitchen only to find that the sink was full of dishes. Leftovers from breakfast were scattered all over the counter, and it was covered in crumbs too.

So Bill immediately ran up the stairs, dodging toys and piles of clothes, fearing his wife might be gravely ill or that some other misfortune might have happened to her.

When he entered their bedroom, breathless, Bill found his wife lying happily in bed, still in her pyjamas, reading a book.

Watching him struggle for breath, she smiled and said, “Hello, honey, how was your day?”

Feeling more than surprised and a little confused, Bill asked his wife, “What’s going on? What the hell has been happening here today?“

Once again, Bill’s wife smiled and said, “Remember that argument we had last night when you hurtfully asked me what the hell I did all day?”

“Ehhhh, yes, I think so”, said Bill, still slightly confused.

“Well today I didn’t do any of it, so now you know,” his wife responded.

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with women. You won’t win.

4. It could be worse:

Jim’s walking past his son Tim’s room when he notices it’s incredibly clean and neat. As Tim’s not usually quite so fastidious in matters of housekeeping, Jim is naturally suspicious. So, he enters the room, and immediately he notices that there is a note on Tim’s bed addressed to Dad.

Nervously, Jim picks up the letter and opens it.

The letter reads,

“Dear Dad, I’ve run away with Betsy. She’s 20 years older than me, but I love her. We had to elope because she’s pregnant with my child. As we didn’t have enough money, I stole some from your wallet. We’re going to live in the woods below the Santa Monica Mountains, where she has a trailer, and where we will be growing marijuana and trading drugs with the local community. Once we have enough money, we’ll be able to get her the treatment she needs for AIDS. We plan to have at least eight children, and once we’re settled, we’ll visit you each year.

If you’ve read this far, Dad, don’t worry; I’m just kidding around. I’m hanging out at Mikey’s place. I just wanted you to realise that there are worse things than my report card, which you’ll find on my desk if you want to read it. Call me when it’s safe to head back home. Love you, Tim.”

Moral of the Story: Don’t mess with your kids. You won’t win with them either.

I hope you found these jokes as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh. If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today, then please share these jokes with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

So go on, please do it now. I’ll be ever so grateful.

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7 lame jokes funny enough to make you laugh

02/11/2024 by Roy Sutton

If you enjoy lame jokes, dear reader, then I’ve got some great ones for you today. I’m confident that at least some of these will make you laugh.

Enjoy them all and feel free to share them with your friends.

Lame Jokes:

1. Miscommunication:

Betty is sitting on the porch with her husband sipping a glass of wine.

“I love you so much,” says Betty. “In fact, I doubt if I could live without you. Not even for a single day.”

Her husband, Jim, is flattered and almost speechless. His wife had never shown him quite so much affection.

“Oh, Betty, I didn’t know you cared so much,” said Jim.

“Oh, yes,” said Betty, “this wine is really very special to me.”

2. Two wishes:

Jake and Maggie are a married couple in their sixties and one day they’re visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.

“I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,” says Maggie.

“Your wish is granted,” says the fairy.

Then there’s a POOF sound and miraculously two tickets for a luxury cruise appear in Maggie’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” says Jake, “but my wish is to have a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.”

“Your wish is granted,” says the fairy.

With that, the fairy waves a wand and miraculously Jake is transformed into a 92-year-old.

Moral of the Story: Ungrateful men should remember that fairies are female and loyal to the sisterhood.

3. Shot of whiskey:

Jim drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed.

After years of this, his wife, Elaine is worried about him and wants him to quit.

Naturally, Elaine wants to ensure that Jim really understands why she’s concerned.

As they’re sitting at the table, Elaine says to him, “Jim, dear, we need to talk.”

With that, she places two shot glasses on the table and fills one with water and the other with whiskey.

“Now, Jim, I want you to watch what happens next,” says Elaine.

With that, she takes two worms from his fishing-bait box and puts one in each of the shot glasses.

The worm in the water starts swimming around in the glass.

Sadly, the worm in the whiskey dies immediately.

Feeling she’s made her point, Elaine says, “So, Jim, what do you have to say about this little experiment?”

“Well dear, that’s obvious,” says Jim. “If I keep drinking whiskey, I won’t get worms.”

4. Little Johnny Joke:

Little Johnny is sitting in his math class and the teacher asks him, “Johnny, how many feet are there in a yard?”

Little Johnny thinks momentarily and then responds, “Well, miss, that would depend on how many people are standing in the yard.”

5. The pharmacist:

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

“Mam,” says the pharmacist, “I have to ask you what it’s for?”

“I want to kill my husband,” the woman responds.

“I’m sorry, mam,” says the pharmacist, “but I can’t let you have it for that.”

With that, the woman shows the pharmacist a photograph of his wife in bed with her husband.

The pharmacist studies the photograph momentarily and then says, “Oh, right, you didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

6. The reptile house:

Towards the end of a hectic day at the zoo, staff tried to tidy up as quickly as possible before closing for the evening.

In their haste to finish their work in the reptile house, the glass tanks were left open by mistake.

Within minutes dozens of snakes had escaped.

With some highly venomous snakes on the loose, the head keeper was desperately trying to round them up, with little to no success.

Eventually, the head keeper turned to his assistant and said, “It’s no use, I’ll have to call a politician.”

“A politician?” the assistant exclaimed, a little bewildered. “How will a politician help us now?”

“Well,” said the head keeper, “we need someone who can speak their language.”

7. The miracle:

One morning, a disabled man hobbled into St Patrick’s Catholic Church on crutches.

The man stopped in front of the font, dipped a cupped hand into the holy water and then started splashing and rubbing holy water on both of his legs.

When he’d finished, he threw away his crutches.

Watching this event was an altar boy, who was truly amazed by this act which demonstrated the power of belief in God.

Immediately, the boy ran into the rectory to tell Father O’Connor, the Parish priest, what he’d seen.

“Son,” said Father O’Connor, “what you’ve just witnessed is a miracle. Tell me, where is this man now?”

“Flat on his ass, over there by the holy water,” said the boy.

So dear reader, was this post worth a few minutes of your time? Did you enjoy these lame jokes? Were they the ‘full groan‘?

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21 thought-provoking quotes that will inspire you

02/10/2024 by Roy Sutton

Looking for a little inspiration, dear reader? Well, here are 21 thought-provoking quotes that will inspire you.

I hope you find them all interesting.

Please feel free to share them all.

Quotes that will inspire you:

Stop underestimating yourself. ~Michael Josephson
Every artist was first an amateur. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The secret to getting ahead is getting started. ~Agatha Christie
Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. ~Mark Twain
You are what you think about all day long. ~Dr Robert Schuller
Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. ~Henry Ford
It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. ~E.E. Cummings
Do not let what you cannot do; interfere with what you can do. ~John Wooden
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. ~Steve Jobs
The biggest mistake people make in life is not trying to make a living doing what they most enjoy. ~Malcolm Forbes
The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame. ~Rod Steiger
That’s precisely the question everyone should be asking—why the hell not? Why not you? Why not now? ~Timothy Ferriss
Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. ~Conrad Hilton
The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavour. ~Vince Lombardi
Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome. ~Samuel Johnson
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. ~Dale Carnegie
You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. ~Christopher Columbus
Use what talents you possess. The woods will be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. ~Henry Van Dyke
Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive. ~Howard Thurman
Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. ~Mother Teresa
One of the tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. ~Dale Carnegie

If you enjoyed these thought-provoking quotes, then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

If you could do that for me now, I’ll be ever so grateful.

Thank you.

15 Quotes by Marilyn Monroe to inspire you

02/09/2024 by Roy Sutton

Marilyn Monroe was a big star in her day, and much has been said and written about her since her death. Some of it was true, but mostly it was just a myth.

However, despite her untimely death, the legend of Marilyn Monroe lives on to this day. She died tragically young and in rather sad circumstances.

Nevertheless, she was much smarter than she appeared to be, and many of her observations were quite sharp and funny.

The 15 quotes by Marilyn Monroe included here, I think, will prove this point.

The quotes attributed to Marilyn Monroe illustrate her grasp of what it was to be a woman in what was then very much a man’s world. In many ways, women’s life experiences have changed very little, so her observations should serve as a source of inspiration for women everywhere, even now.

Here are the 15 quotes by Marilyn Monroe. So, take a few minutes to enjoy them.

Quotes by Marilyn Monroe:

A smile is the best makeup a girl can wear. ~Marilyn Monroe
A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her. ~Marilyn Monroe
Always, always, always believe in yourself. Because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? ~Marilyn Monroe
I don’t mind living in a man’s world, as long as I can be a woman in it. ~Marilyn Monroe
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. ~Marilyn Monroe
I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times tough to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn Monroe
Sometimes you just have to throw on a crown and remind them who they’re dealing with. ~Marilyn Monroe
I am good but not an angel. I do sin but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world, trying to find someone to love. ~Marilyn Monroe
Naturally, there are times when every woman likes to be flattered, to feel she is the most important thing in someone’s world. Only a man can paint this picture. ~Marilyn Monroe
No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they’re pretty, even if they aren’t. ~Marilyn Monroe
When it comes down to it, let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I’m already better than them anyway. ~Marilyn Monroe
You better believe when the conversation is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else. ~Marilyn Monroe
A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left. ~Marilyn Monroe
Respect is one of life’s greatest treasures. I mean, what does it all add up to if you don’t have that? ~Marilyn Monroe
Sometimes I’ve been to a party where no one spoke to me for a whole evening. The men, frightened by their wives or sweeties, would give me a wide berth. And the ladies would gang up in a corner to discuss my dangerous character. ~Marilyn Monroe

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Wealth is not a life without problems:

Caretaker of your possessions:

Others will resent your wealth:

The impact of instant wealth:

What matters most in life?

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Hilarious Jokes:

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Really Funny Jokes:

1. Flatulent Old Lady:

2. The Potato Peeler:

3. Farmer Jim’s Accident:

4. You can’t win:

5. Day of Reckoning:

6. The Annual Check-up:

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Remember who’s in charge:

Self-Reflection Questions:

The world is a wondrous place:

Self-Reflection Questions:

Life is a journey:

Self-Reflection Questions:

Stop feeling inadequate:

How to stop feeling so inadequate:

1. Remind yourself of your success:

2. Understand that you are unique:

3. Widen your social circle:

4. Do something for yourself:

5. Take a social media detox.

Conclusion:

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Quotes on self-improvement (1-10):

Quotes on self-improvement (11-20):

Quotes on self-improvement (21-30):

Quotes on self-improvement (31-41):

Quotes on self-improvement (42-50):

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What does success mean to you?

Quotes about success:

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Hilariously funny short story jokes:

1. Jackie and the Game Warden:

2. The silent treatment:

3. A woman’s contribution:

4. It could be worse:

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Lame Jokes:

1. Miscommunication:

2. Two wishes:

3. Shot of whiskey:

4. Little Johnny Joke:

5. The pharmacist:

6. The reptile house:

7. The miracle:

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Quotes that will inspire you:

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Quotes by Marilyn Monroe:

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