Poem about character

06/12/2023 by

Poem about CHARACTERIf you’re looking for an original poem about character then you’ve come to the right place, dear reader. In fact today, I can offer you two closely related poems.

Occasionally, I think reflecting on the people we are and how others may see us can be useful. A little introspection helps with our self-awareness, I think. So, I’ve been doing a little bit of self-analysis recently out of which came these two poems.

The first one, called Character, reflects how I’d like to be judged.

The second poem, called Just Some Guy, reflects how I see myself.

Now don’t assume I’m putting myself down in any way because I’m not. I’m very confident in my own ability and I know how to add value to the lives of others. However, equally, I know that we’re all just people and we shouldn’t assume that we are in some way better than others.

Everyone has their place in this world and their own contribution to make. And everyone contributing to the lives of others deserves to be treated with respect.

Anyway, I thought I’d share these poems with you dear reader and you can decide on their merits, or otherwise.

If they do appeal to you, please feel free to share them.

1. Poem About Character:

Poem About Character

2. Poem About Self:

Poem about self

Please share this poem with your friends:

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When you share, everyone wins.

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If can you do that for me, I’ll be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

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33 Why Did jokes that are all full groan

06/11/2023 by

WHY DID JOKESIf you like Why Did jokes then I have 33 for you today, dear reader, and I promise you that they’re all full groan.

Everyone a play on words designed to tickle your funny bone.

So, relax, take an unofficial break, and enjoy them all.

And if any of them did seriously tickly you then please, feel free to pass them on to your friends.

Why Did Jokes (1-11):

  1. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
  2. Why did the computer go on a diet? Too many cookies.
  3. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up a pair of pants.
  4. Why did the computer go to the dentist? It had Bluetooth.
  5. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  6. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
  7. Why did the banana go on a road trip? The a-peel of adventure.
  8. Why did the pen refuse to write? Because it felt that way ink-lined.
  9. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
  10. Why did the banana go to university? The a-peel of being well-educated.
  11. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t find a date.

Why Did Jokes (12-22):

  1. Why did the lamp go to school? Because it wanted to shine amongst its peers.
  2. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems to solve.
  3. Why did the computer go to the party? Because it wanted to dance the byte away.
  4. Why did the banana go to the therapist? Because it had a split personality.
  5. Why did the photographer start a blog? Because he wanted more exposure.
  6. Why did the tomato leave the comedy club? Because all the jokes were tasteless.
  7. Why did the tomato go on a night out? Because it wanted to paint the town red.
  8. Why did the pen become a poet? Because it had an ink-credible way with words.
  9. Why did the zombie win the dance competition? Because it had some killer moves.
  10. Why did the scarecrow become a DJ? Because it had some a-maize-ing tracks to spin.
  11. Why did the bicycle become a stand-up comedian? Because it was wheel-y funny.

Why Did Jokes (23-33):

  1. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.
  2. Why did the computer become a musician? Because it had great keyboard skills.
  3. Why did the tomato go to the party? To ketchup with friends and relish the good times.
  4. Why did the tomato turn purple? Because it was trying to ketchup with the latest trends.
  5. Why did the math student go into therapy? Because he had a lot of unresolved problems.
  6. Why did the scarecrow become a tour guide? Because it knew all the best fields and gardens.
  7. Why did the bicycle become a chef? Because it loved whipping up wheely delicious meals.
  8. Why did the teacher bring a ladder to the classroom? To help his students reach new heights.
  9. Why did the banana break up with the orange? Because they didn’t really a-peel to each other.
  10. Why did the scarecrow become a detective? Because it had exceptional ability in solving corn-undrums.
  11. Why did the math book become friends with the calculator? Because they both had problems to solve.

Please share this post:

If any of these Why Did jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

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30 knock knock jokes that are corny but fun

06/10/2023 by

30 KNOCK KNOCK JOKESDo you enjoy ‘knock knock jokes’, dear reader?

Yes, they’re corny I know. However, they’re fun too. Clever wordplay is always fun and certainly, I find it amusing.

So, here are 30 knock knock jokes which I hope you will enjoy.

Grab a coffee, take an unofficial break, relax, and enjoy the smiles.

And when you’ve read them all, feel free to pass them on to your friends.

Knock Knock Jokes (1-10):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Boo
  • Boo who?
  • Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Wendy
  • Wendy who?
  • Wendy wind blows, the cradle will rock!
  • Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Honeybee
  • Honeybee who?
  • Honeybee a dear and get the door, please!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Dishes
  • Dishes who?
  • Dishes the police, open up!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Alpaca
  • Alpaca who?
  • Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Mikey
  • Mikey who?
  • Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole; can you open the door, please?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Olive
  • Olive who?
  • Olive you and I always will!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Wooden shoe
  • Wooden shoe who?
  • Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Cow says
  • Cow says who?
  • No silly, cow says moooo!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Cash
  • Cash who?
  • No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock Knock Jokes (11-20):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Icy
  • Icy who?
  • Icy you but you can’t see me!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Lettuce
  • Lettuce who?
  • Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Kenya
  • Kenya who?
  • Kenya guess who I am?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Arthur
  • Arthur who?
  • Arthur any more jokes left?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Ivor
  • Ivor who?
  • Ivor question to ask you.
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Nicholas
  • Nicholas who?
  • Nicholas women shouldn’t climb trees.
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Luke
  • Luke who?
  • Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Howard
  • Howard who?
  • Howard you like a big hug?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Noah
  • Noah who?
  • Noah good place we can get something to eat?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Atch
  • Atch who?
  • Bless you!

Knock Knock Jokes (21-30):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Harry
  • Harry who?
  • Harry up and answer the door!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Arthur
  • Arthur who?
  • Arthur any more cookies left?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Nana
  • Nana who?
  • Nana your business!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Justin
  • Justin who?
  • Justin the neighbourhood, and heard you needed a laugh!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Europe
  • Europe who?
  • No, you’re a poo!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Lettuce
  • Lettuce who?
  • Lettuce in and we’ll tell you!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Who
  • Who who?
  • Is there an owl in here?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Fuk
  • Fuk who?
  • No, Fuk Yu!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Dishes
  • Dishes who?
  • Dishes a nice place you got here!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Alex
  • Alex who?
  • Alex the questions around here!

Please share this post:

If any of these knock knock jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

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Funniest Jokes 2023: Could these be the 5 of them?

06/09/2023 by

Funniest Jokes 2023Want to be the life and soul of the party, dear reader? Then here are 5 of the funniest jokes to tell your friends and make them laugh. They all made me laugh, that’s for sure.

So take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And then please feel free to pass them on.

Funniest Jokes 2023:

1. The Test:

A teacher has prepared a test for two of her students.

Now one of these kids is very clever but the other one is a bit slow, to say the least.

The test has 10 questions and the teacher sits both students down in the classroom and gives them 45 minutes to complete the test.

Once completed by the students, the test papers are sent away for independent marking and assessment.

When the teacher receives the marked test papers back, she looks at the slow kid’s mark first. He’s been given 9 out of 10.

“That’s astonishing!” the teacher thinks to herself.

She then looks at the clever kid’s mark and he too has been given 9 out of 10.

“That can’t be right,” the teacher exclaims.

So she goes through the clever kid’s paper in detail.

The first nine questions he’s got all right. However, for the tenth question, he’s simply written, “Sorry mam, but I don’t know the answer to this question.”

So the teacher then goes through the slow kid’s paper in detail.

Again he’s got the first nine questions all right. And then for the tenth question he’s written, “I don’t know the answer either.”

2. Questionable weather:

Jane is arguing with her husband, Bill about the winter weather, precipitation and how they would describe the amount of moisture currently in the atmosphere.

“Well,” said Jane. “This to me is drizzle.”

“No,” Bill responded. “It’s heavy mist.”

This debate went on for a while and then, eventually, Jane suggested they ask the elderly man next door.

“Hey,” said Jane, “Rudolf’s a former Soviet communist from Russia. He’ll know all about bad weather.”

So they went next door and asked Rudolf for his opinion.

“It is drizzle,” Rudolf declared.

Needless to say, Bill felt a little put out, losing the argument in this way.

“Why should we accept his judgement anyway?” asked Bill.

Jane smiled and said, “Because Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!”

3. Communication breakdown:

Sister Elizabeth is walking down to breakfast in the convent one morning when she meets Sister Gillian.

“Good morning Sister Elizabeth,” says Sister Gillian, “it looks like you got out of the wrong side of the bed.”

In response, Sister Elizabeth smiles. She’s slightly puzzled by Sister Gillian’s comment but she lets it go.

As she proceeds down the corridor towards the dining room, she then bumps into Sister Julienne.

“Good morning Sister Elizabeth,” says Sister Julienne, “it looks like you got out of the wrong side of the bed.”

Though mildly irritated by hearing this comment a second time, once again she smiles and lets it go.

As she enters the dining room, Sister Elizabeth bumps into the Mother Superior.

“Good morning Sister Elizabeth,” says the Mother Superior, “it looks like you got out of the wrong side of the bed.”

“Why on earth do people keep asking me that question?” says Sister Elizabeth. “Have I been rude to anyone?”

“No, not at all,” replies the Mother Superior, “but you’re wearing the Bishop’s slippers.”

4. The wages of sin:

Mary is saying goodbye to her husband, John, as he nears death.

“My love,” said John. “Before I die, I must confess that I was once unfaithful to you with another woman. In our fifty years of marriage, it was once and only once, I swear. Please can you forgive me?”

Mary fidgets for a moment and then she reaches for the chest at the end of the bed. She opens the lid and takes out two ears of corn and a thousand dollars in cash.

Mary shows this to John and slightly bemused he asks, “What’s this?”

“Well John, I’ve been unfaithful too,” Mary responds. “And each time I had a lover I put an ear of corn in this chest.”

John is clearly upset momentarily but then he says, “Well, it was only twice. But what was the money for?”

Mary starts to weep and then she says, “Each time I got enough ears of corn for a bushel, I sold it.

5. The Good Samaritan:

Margarita had left her home in the small city of Campeche in Mexico for what she thought would be an exciting life in New York City.

However, the drudgery of life as a chambermaid, working in a third-rate hotel on 9th Avenue, proved to be a depressing experience.

She felt so depressed that one night she found herself standing on Brooklyn Bridge, contemplating throwing herself into the East River.

At that moment, a Good Samaritan came walking across the bridge in the shape of a handsome young man, named Tom.

“Hello, I’m Tom,” said the young man. “Please tell me what’s troubling you, mam.”

“Life in Manhattan, working as a chambermaid, it is so hard,” Margarita responded. “I wanted so much more. And I can’t go home now, so I have nothing to live for.”

“Look mam, the world is full of opportunity,” said Tom. “Hey, I’m a sailor and tomorrow we’ll be sailing to London, England. You could come too. I could stow you away on the ship and take care of you. I’ll bring you food each day and keep you happy.”

Margarita thought about it momentarily and she realised that she had nothing to lose, so she accepted Tom’s offer.

That night, Tom took her aboard the ship and hid her in a small, but surprisingly comfortable, compartment in the hold.

From then on, each night Tom brought sandwiches and some red wine and after they’d eaten, he’d make love to her.

A few days later, during a routine inspection, the Captain discovered Margarita.

“What are you doing here?” asked the Captain.

“Sir, I have an arrangement with one of your sailors,” replied Margarita. “He brings me food and he’s taking me to London, England on your ship.”

“Really?” the captain responded.

“Yes sir,” said Margarita. “He’s been taking advantage of me too, sir.”

“He certainly has, mam,” replied the Captain. “This is the Staten Island Ferry.”

If you enjoyed these jokes, please share them:

Funniest Jokes 2023So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If you agree these were the funniest jokes 2023 and they made you smile, at least a little, then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

More fun you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

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30 Guess What jokes to raise a smile or two

06/08/2023 by

GUESS WHAT JOKESI know how much readers enjoy a good laugh, and that’s why I’ve curated a collection of delightfully clever Guess What jokes just for you today.

These aren’t just your everyday, run-of-the-mill jokes. They’re mostly just a clever play on words. That’s what I enjoy, and I hope that you enjoy this form of humour too, dear reader.

So, grab a coffee, take an unofficial break, relax and enjoy the humour I have on offer for you today.

And please, feel free to pass on these jokes.

Guess what jokes (1-10):

  1. Guess what? They told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic. But so far, I’ve made three jugs and a vase.
  2. Guess what? I got my friend a fridge for his birthday. I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
  3. Guess what? My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So, we went and had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
  4. Guess what? My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said ‘40‘.
  5. Guess what? I’ve just written a pop song about tortillas. Well, it’s more of a wrap really.
  6. Guess what? I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We’ve got no gigs yet.
  7. Guess what? My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table. I had to take a running start, but I made it.
  8. Guess what? I had a joke about a boomerang, but I’ve forgotten it. It’ll come back to me.
  9. Guess what? My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
  10. Guess what? I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

Guess what jokes (11-20):

  1. Guess what? I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.
  2. Guess what? I had an addiction to soap, but I’m clean now.
  3. Guess what? I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said, ‘Wii.’
  4. Guess what? I once did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
  5. Guess what? I was going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
  6. Guess what? I was going to tell you a joke about infinity, but it doesn’t have an end.
  7. Guess what? I wrote a book on penguins. In hindsight, paper would have been better.
  8. Guess what? I used to be an astronaut, but I couldn’t stand the pressure.
  9. Guess what? At the library, I asked for a book on levitation. They said it was currently floating around somewhere.
  10. Guess what? A friend asked me if I had any sodium hypobromite. I said NaBrO.

Guess what jokes (21-30):

  1. Guess what? I used to be a lifeguard until some blue kid got me fired.
  2. Guess what? I wanted to learn to juggle, but I just don’t have the balls.
  3. Guess what? I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Tell you what, never again.
  4. Guess what? I’ve just told a chemistry joke, but I didn’t get a reaction.
  5. Guess what? I know a lot of jokes about retired people but none of them work!
  6. Guess what? I told my wife I saw a deer on the way home. She said, “How do you know he was on his way home?”
  7. Guess what? My boss told me to have a good day. So, I went home.
  8. Guess what? I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
  9. Guess what? I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
  10. Guess what? I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, you’re brilliant.”

Please share this post:

GUESS WHAT JOKESIf any of these Guess What jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

More fun you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All Rights Reserved.

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35 stupid jokes that are funny

06/07/2023 by

STUPID JOKES THAT ARE FUNNYIf you’re looking for stupid jokes that are funny, dear reader, then take a look at the 35 I’ve collected for you today.

Yes, they are corny. Yes, they are stupid. However, I’m confident that at least a few of them will raise a smile.

So, grab a coffee, relax, and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Stupid jokes that are funny (1-10):

  1. I, for one, like Roman numerals.
  2. How do you start a pudding race? Say go!
  3. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.
  4. What is hairy and coughs? A coconut with a cold.
  5. What is the most unreliable diner? A fickle onion.
  6. Why did the pickle miss work? Because it was dill.
  7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  8. What food can you eat in a taxi? Corn on the cab.
  9. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
  10. What did the plate say to the diner? Lunch is on me. 

Stupid jokes that are funny (11-20):

  1. I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  2. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
  3. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
  4. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted!
  5. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up!
  6. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  7. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  8. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
  9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  10. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!

Stupid jokes that are funny (21-30):

  1. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop, but it was sole destroying.
  2. Why did the sandwich go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
  3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  4. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
  5. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
  6. Why don’t Melons run away to get married? Because they cantaloupe.
  7. Why did the lazy grape stomper get fired? For sitting down on the job.
  8. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  9. Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.
  10. What is yellow, brown, and hairy? Cheese on toast dropped on the carpet.

Stupid jokes that are funny (31-35):

  1. I was going to tell a time-travelling joke, but you didn’t think it was funny.
  2. I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job, and I made my own hours.
  3. Why are hamburgers better than hot dogs? Because hot dogs are the wurst.
  4. Why did the guy put his money in a blender? Because he needed to liquidate his assets!
  5. I told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids. In one ear, out the other.

Please share this post:

If any of these stupid jokes that are funny actually made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

More fun you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

30 dark sarcasm quotes that’ll make you smile

06/02/2023 by

DARK SARCASM QUOTESWhen you want to suggest a hint of menace then having a few dark sarcasm quotes up your sleeve is always useful.

After all, people need to know that they shouldn’t mess with you.

Sarcasm is a powerful way of getting that message across.

So today I offer you 30 great dark sarcasm quotes and I hope they all entertain you.

Take a few minutes to enjoy them all. I did and I’m confident you will too.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Dark sarcasm quotes (1-15):

  1. Sarcastic? Me? Well, a little sardonic perhaps.
  2. Surely you must be on stupid pills?
  3. If I’m smiling that alone should scare you.
  4. I’ve had a wonderful evening but this wasn’t it.
  5. Zombies eat brains. So you’ll be quite safe.
  6. Well, aren’t you a little ray of pitch-black?
  7. Keep your head high and your middle finger higher.
  8. Am I joking or am I psychotic? You don’t want to find out.
  9. I really need the one thing you can provide, your absence.
  10. If it looks like I don’t care, that’s because I really don’t.
  11. Am I free this afternoon? No, I’m very expensive.
  12. I don’t treat people badly. I treat people accordingly.
  13. If I cut you off then in all probability you handed me the scissors.
  14. You’re allowed to use your brain you know. It’s not illegal just yet.
  15. I’m a leader, not a follower. Unless it’s dark, then you’re going first.

Dark sarcasm quotes (16-30):

  1. Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  2. I feel like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there.
  3. If you can’t say something nice, at least make it clever and devastating.
  4. My level of sarcasm has reached the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
  5. I don’t like making plans in case they lead to the word ‘premeditated’ being thrown around in a courtroom.
  6. Don’t be a complete prick all your life. Take a few minutes off and give the rest of us a break.
  7. I’m sorry. While you were talking I was struggling to figure out why you think I care.
  8. My life’s been full of disappointments and you’ve just been added to the list.
  9. No, I can’t help you but I can offer you a sarcastic remark.
  10. When I said how stupid can you be it wasn’t meant to be a challenge.
  11. No, I wouldn’t say I’m the best in the world but I’m confident I’m in the Top 1.
  12. You should be careful if you don’t want to be offended. I can speak fluent sarcasm.
  13. It’s one of life’s mysteries but those who whine loudest tend to be those who’ve contributed least. Why is that?
  14. You think you’re street smart but I’m guessing that’s Sesame Street.
  15. Oh, you were talking to me? I’m sorry I thought there was something wrong with you.

dark sarcasm quotesPlease share this post with your friends:

So did enjoy these dark sarcasm quotes dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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29 examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insult

06/01/2023 by

29 examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insultExamples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insult don’t always spring readily to mind, do they? Well, not to me anyway.

Have you ever had that experience where someone tests your patience and you only wish you’d had the right witty insult on the tip of your tongue and ready to let them know that you’re not someone who will suffer fools for very long?

It’s always useful to have a stock of sarcastic responses ready to hand for such occasions.

So for today’s post, I offer you 29 examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insult.

I hope at least one or two of them will also raise a smile with you too.

And of course, I hope these provide you with some ammunition next time you need it.

Sarcasm and witty insults (1-15):

  1. Do I know who you are? Why? Don’t you?
  2. Clearly, wit is a skill you’ve yet to master.
  3. Would it really hurt to smile occasionally?
  4. If your aim was to irritate me then your plan is working so far.
  5. You’re confusing me with someone who cares about what you think?
  6. I’m not sarcastic; I’m just allergic to stupid.
  7. Take your time buddy, it’s not like the rest of us have anything else to do.
  8. That you’ve survived this long without a brain is a miracle of modern science.
  9. Now who might you be and why should it matter to me?
  10. You’re wearing that shirt as part of a ‘get noticed’ strategy, aren’t you?
  11. Oh, you were talking to me? I’m sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you.
  12. Listen, tiger, if you’re trying to impress me, it’ll take more than a vanilla latte with a blueberry muffin on the side.
  13. I’m sure your mother thinks you’re important but guess what? The rest of the world doesn’t agree.
  14. Your disdain for your customers suggests you’d be wise to consider an alternative line of work.
  15. Some people have genuine talent and then there are deluded people like you.

Sarcasm and witty insults (16-29):

  1. I may have had too much to drink, mam, but tomorrow I’ll be sober, and you’ll still be ugly.
  2. $10 for an iced tea with a twist and a little umbrella? I just wanted a drink; I wasn’t trying to purchase the entire bar.
  3. Were you born a pain in the ass or have you had special training?
  4. You’ve got a face on you like you’ve been sucking sour lemons for a week.
  5. If you’re nice to other people, you might find they’ll be a bit more agreeable with you. Try it, the results might surprise you.
  6. Clearly, you’re bereft of talent but I admire your willingness to have a go anyway.
  7. If your aim was to insult me, you’ll need to do a lot better than that buddy.
  8. There’s nothing like exceptional customer service and that was nothing like exceptional customer service.
  9. Regardless of what you seem to think, being polite to people hasn’t gone out of fashion.
  10. Well, we’ve now established that you can be stupid when you want to be. So, what else are you good at?
  11. So, you’ve got a few qualifications. That just means you’re quite good at remembering stuff. So what?
  12. Have you ever thought of getting a personality transplant? Certainly, the one you’ve got now is not helping your cause.
  13. I didn’t say you were overweight but you’re certainly taking bloating to a whole new level.
  14. I wouldn’t say you’re slow as such but you do give the impression that you’re a nickel short of a dime. 

Examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insultPlease share this post with your friends:

So dear reader did any of these examples of sarcasm for when you need a witty insult actually make you smile? Was this post worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these examples did make you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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50 funny what’s the difference between jokes

05/28/2023 by

whats the difference between jokesIf you’re looking for some what’s the difference between jokes, dear reader, then I can offer you 50 today that I’m sure will raise a laugh or two.

Give people a laugh and they’ll forget about their worries, at least for a while. That’s my philosophy.

Whether you’re at your local bar trying to break the ice with some new friends or at a family gathering trying to make your notoriously hard-to-impress uncle chuckle, these jokes are sure to be a hit. Well, I think so, anyway.

So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and prepare for an onslaught of comedic genius. Well, at the very least, a few groans.

Let’s get this laughter show on the road then, shall we? Brace yourselves, it might just be a wild ride!

What’s the difference between jokes (1-10):

  1. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
  2. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a well-dressed man on a tricycle? Attire!
  3. What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, whack, “Darn!” A bad skydiver goes, “Darn!” whack.
  4. What’s the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You can’t dunk an elephant in your tea.
  5. What’s the difference between a teacher and a railroad guard? One trains the mind, and the other minds the train.
  6. What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
  7. What’s the difference between a Zippo and a hippo? One is heavy, the other is a little lighter.
  8. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
  9. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
  10. What’s the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What’s the difference between jokes (11-20):

  1. What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
  2. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
  3. What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
  4. What’s the difference between a tick and a politician? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other is a tiny insect.
  5. What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
  6. What’s the difference between a thief and a peeping Tom? One snatches your watch, and the other watches your snatch.
  7. What’s the difference between a unicorn and a carrot? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
  8. What’s the difference between a comet and a cat? One has a tail that’s blazing, and the other’s tail is for chasing.
  9. What’s the difference between a banker and a vampire? One sucks your blood, and the other your wallet.
  10. What’s the difference between a poker player and a skydiver? One takes a chance when he goes all in, and the other when he jumps all out. 

What’s the difference between jokes (21-30):

  1. What’s the difference between a chef and a dog? One wears pants and the other just pants.
  2. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing!
  3. What’s the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, and a cat only nine times.
  4. What’s the difference between a schoolteacher and a steam train? The teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the train says “Choo Choo!”
  5. What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? One’s a pop fly and the other’s a fly pop.
  6. What’s the difference between a baseball player and a dirty puppy? One runs home after sliding into base, and the other slides into home after running in the dirt.
  7. What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
  8. What’s the difference between a circus and a brothel? At the circus, you have a cunning array of stunts.
  9. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
  10. What’s the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student? One baits his hooks, and the other hates his books.

What’s the difference between jokes (31-40):

  1. What’s the difference between a robber and a politician? The robber steals your money and then runs. The politician runs and then steals your money.
  2. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
  3. What’s the difference between an elephant and a grape? Grapes are purple.
  4. What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can’t hear an enzyme.
  5. What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion? No one sheds a tear when you chop up an accordion.
  6. What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
  7. What’s the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.
  8. What’s the difference between a gambler and a skydiver? A gambler risks going broke, and a skydiver risks going splat.
  9. What’s the difference between a mathematician and an accountant? An accountant would say that 1+1=2. A mathematician would need to prove it.
  10. What’s the difference between a casino and a church? In a casino, you really mean it when you pray.

What’s the difference between jokes (41-50):

  1. What’s the difference between a pun and a dad joke? One just leaves you groaning, and the other leaves you groaning and slightly disappointed.
  2. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
  3. What’s the difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman? The used car salesman knows when he’s lying.
  4. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
  5. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.
  6. What’s the difference between a magician and a politician? One performs tricks and the other just tricks.
  7. What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer doesn’t need a parachute.
  8. What’s the difference between a politician and a snail? One is a slimy pest, and the other is a snail.
  9. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
  10. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear, and the other’s a very good year.

Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these what’s the difference between jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Alternatively, there’s a lot more than humour on this site. I aim to inform and inspire too. Feel free to look around.

Thank you for your support.

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50 corny but playful Yo Mama jokes

05/27/2023 by

Yo Mama JokesIf you enjoy Yo Mama jokes, then take a look at the 50 I have on offer for you today.

They’re all a bit corny but they’re fun, playful, and light-hearted.

I hope at least a few of them will make you smile.

Enjoy them all and please, feel free to share them with your friends.

Yo Mama Jokes (1-10):

  1. Yo mama’s so old, she babysat Yoda.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, her social security number is 1.
  3. Yo mama’s so slow, she was overtaken by a sloth.
  4. Yo mama’s so fat, she has to buy group insurance.
  5. Yo mama’s so dumb, she lost in a game of solitaire.
  6. Yo mama’s so old, Moses was in her class at school.
  7. Yo mama’s so slow, she’d lose in a race with a snail.
  8. Yo mama’s so slow, she gets overtaken by parked cars.
  9. Yo mama’s so slow, she could be overtaken by a glacier.
  10. Yo mama’s so lazy, she gets tired watching cars pass by.

Yo Mama Jokes (11-20):

  1. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over a cordless phone.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
  3. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless network.
  4. Yo mama’s so old, she used to babysit George Washington.
  5. Yo mama’s so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
  6. Yo mama’s so loud, even the deaf ask her to keep the noise down.
  7. Yo mama’s so forgetful, she forgot she was wearing her sunglasses.
  8. Yo mama’s so old, she knew Burger King when he was only a prince.
  9. Yo mama’s so heavy-handed, she’d break safety glass with a cotton ball.
  10. Yo mama’s so bad at technology, she couldn’t even find the START button on her computer.

Yo Mama Jokes (21-30):

  1. Yo mama’s so old, her high school diploma is on a stone tablet.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, her birth certificate is written in hieroglyphics.
  3. Yo mama’s so bad at math, she can’t even count her own fingers.
  4. Yo mama’s so slow, even a turtle crossed the road faster than her.
  5. Yo mama’s so lazy, even her remote control needs a remote control.
  6. Yo mama’s so bad at gardening, her plants filed for ‘plant protection’.
  7. Yo mama’s so forgetful, she sometimes introduces herself to the mirror.
  8. Yo mama’s so greedy, she tried to download cookies from the internet.
  9. Yo mama’s so confused, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
  10. Yo mama’s so old, she remembers when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch.

Yo Mama Jokes (31-40):

  1. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thinks deja vu is a yoga pose.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, Tyrannosaurus Rex was her first pet.
  3. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over her own shadow.
  4. Yo mama’s so slow, she was beaten in a race by a statue.
  5. Yo mama’s so dumb, she went to the airport to catch a train.
  6. Yo mama’s so loud, she doesn’t need a phone to make a long-distance call.
  7. Yo mama’s so lacking in a sense of direction, she got lost in her own house.
  8. Yo mama’s so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was just feeling a little unwell.
  9. Yo mama’s so dumb, she put her phone on airplane mode and couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t fly.
  10. Yo mama knows so little about sports, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl thinking it was a food-tasting event.

Yo Mama Jokes (41-50):

  1. Yo mama’s so loud, you can hear her thoughts.
  2. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she could slip on sunshine.
  3. Yo mama’s so slow, she came second in a ‘solo race’.
  4. Yo mama’s so bad at cooking, even the trashcan spit it out.
  5. Yo mama’s so stingy, she uses both sides of the toilet paper.
  6. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought Bluetooth was a dental problem.
  7. Yo mama’s so dumb, if she played hide and seek alone, she’d still lose.
  8. Yo mama’s cooking is so bad, even her dog goes to a neighbour’s house to eat.
  9. Yo mama’s so dumb, she tried to charge her credit card by plugging it into the wall.
  10. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought an Apple iPhone would count as one of her five-a-day.

Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these Yo Mama jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

More fun you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All Rights Reserved.

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