33 funny sarcasm quotes guaranteed to make you smile

Funny Sarcasm QuotesOnce again I return to the theme of sarcasm and in particular funny sarcasm quotes. I love them as they always make me smile dear reader.

Not only that, I always get such a positive response from readers when I include some funny sarcasm quotes. So I’m guessing you enjoy them too.

If nothing else you can add some of them to your little quiver full of arrows for when you need to be well armed against stupid and difficult people, and there are plenty of both around, I’m sure you’ll agree?

So take a few minutes now and enjoy them all.

Funny sarcasm quotes:

  1. I love the sound when you shut up.
  2. What’s wrong with me? Do you want a list?
  3. I have three words for you. You need help!
  4. Feel free to judge me when you’re perfect.
  5. I may not be perfect but at least I’m not you.
  6. Well aren’t you a little ray of sarcastic sunshine.
  7. Tact is for people who lack the wit to be sarcastic.
  8. Hey, you know what you’d look good in? Concrete!
  9. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you bad advice.
  10. The only problem I have with you is you’re still breathing.
  11. Am I always angry and irritable? No, sometimes I’m asleep.
  12. I’ve already had my patience tested. The result was negative.
  13. I try to see the best in everyone buy you’re not making it easy.
  14. Did you ever get the feeling that you’ve seized the wrong day?
  15. I don’t hate you. I’m just not that excited about your existence.
  16. If I was a bird this morning, you’d be the first person I’d crap on.
  17. May you earholes turn into assholes and shit on your shoulders.
  18. If you don’t like sarcasm, would profanity work better with you?
  19. That girl could reduce a man to tears with one lash of her tongue.
  20. Being dead is like being stupid it’s only a problem for other people.
  21. You should be aware that my sense of humor may hurt your feelings.
  22. Your ass must be jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth.
  23. My text messages would make more sense if there was a sarcasm font.
  24. I hope you appreciate the effort I’ve put in to not punching you in the face.
  25. Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you were an expert on how I should live my life.
  26. I’d tell you to go to Hell but I work there and I wouldn’t want to see you every day.
  27. Ignorance can be educated and crazy can be medicated but there’s no cure for stupid.
  28. I thought rock bottom would be as far down as I’d go. I didn’t realize it had a basement.
  29. When I look at you I can’t help but think, “Why hasn’t someone hit you with a shovel yet?”
  30. Do I dislike you? Well let me put it this way I’d willingly buy you a toaster for your bathtub.
  31. Let’s hope you experience a sudden case of explosive diarrhea whilst you’re stuck in traffic.
  32. You’d be unwise to give me your attitude unless you want to be on the receiving end of mine.
  33. May the fleas from a thousand camels infest your ass and may your arms be too short to scratch.

Funny Sarcasm QuotesPlease share this post with your friends:

If you enjoyed these funny sarcasm quotes then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

So please share it now. If you can do that for me I’d be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. So that would be your good deed for the day.

If you fancy some more laughs then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

Thank you.

Other articles which will also amuse you:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

30 dark sarcasm quotes you’ll love

Dark Sarcasm QuotesWhen you want to suggest a hint of menace then having a few dark sarcasm quotes up your sleeve is always useful. People need to know that they shouldn’t mess with you. Sarcasm is a powerful way of getting that message across.

So today I offer you 30 great dark sarcasm quotes and I hope they all entertain you.

Take a few minutes to enjoy them all. I did and I’m confident you will too.

Dark sarcasm quotes:

  1. Sarcastic? Me? Well, a little sardonic perhaps.
  2. Surely you must be on stupid pills?
  3. If I’m smiling that alone should scare you.
  4. I’ve had a wonderful evening but this wasn’t it.
  5. Zombies eat brains. So you’ll be quite safe.
  6. Well aren’t you a little ray of pitch-black.
  7. Keep your head high and your middle finger higher.
  8. Am I joking or am I psychotic? You don’t want to find out.
  9. I really need the one thing you can provide, your absence.
  10. If it looks like I don’t care, that’s because I really don’t.
  11. Am I free this afternoon? No, I’m very expensive.
  12. I don’t treat people badly. I treat people accordingly.
  13. If I cut you off then in all probability you handed me the scissors.
  14. You’re allowed to use your brain you know. It’s not illegal just yet.
  15. I’m a leader not a follower. Unless it’s dark, then you’re going first.
  16. Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  17. I feel like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there.
  18. If you can’t say something nice, at least make it clever and devastating.
  19. My level of sarcasm has reached the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
  20. I don’t like making plans in case they lead to the word ‘premeditated’ being thrown around in a courtroom.
  21. Don’t be a complete prick all your life. Take a few minutes off and give the rest of us a break.
  22. I’m sorry. While you were talking I was struggling to figure out why you think I care.
  23. My life’s been full of disappointments and you’ve just been added to the list.
  24. No, I can’t help you but I can offer you a sarcastic remark.
  25. When I said how stupid can you be it wasn’t meant to be a challenge.
  26. No, I wouldn’t say I’m the best in the world but I’m confident I’m in the Top 1.
  27. You should be careful if you don’t want to be offended. I can speak fluent sarcasm.
  28. It’s one of life’s mysteries but those who whine loudest tend to be those who’ve contributed least. Why is that?
  29. You think you’re street smart but I’m guessing that’s Sesame Street.
  30. Oh, you were talking to me? I’m sorry I thought there was something wrong with you.

Please share this post with your friends:

So did enjoy these dark sarcasm quotes dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Other articles you’ll find amusing:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

35 funny sarcasm memes you’ll just love

Funny Sarcasm Memes Funny Sarcasm MemesFunny Sarcasm MemesFunny Sarcasm MemesFunny Sarcasm Memes

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, did these funny sarcasm memes make you smile?

I hope so. However there’s plenty more to amuse if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles just for you.

And if you’ve enjoyed today’s post then please share it with all your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

If you could share it now, I’d be ever so grateful. You’d be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Other articles you’ll find amusing:

© Roy Joseph Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.