15 Quotes by Lao Tzu to inspire you today

Lao Tzu was an ancient Chinese philosopher and writer, or at least we believe he was.

Born in 604 BC it’s hard to be sure whether he ever even existed at all, as that was a long time before records began.

Nevertheless, the philosophy for which he is credited is wise and provides us with great insight into the meaning of life.

So today I offer you 15 quotes by Lao Tzu that should provide you with greater insight into the human condition. I hope so anyway.

Consider these quotes carefully and think about their meaning.

As a result, you might just improve your understanding of people and why we do the things we do.

Furthermore, one of these quotes might just provide you with the spark that will propel you down the road to success. If that’s the result, then it will have been well worth a few minutes of your time, surely?

So here is the wisdom of Lao Tzu in 15 quotes.

Quotes by Lao Tzu:

  1. An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox. ~Lao Tzu
  2. He who knows himself is enlightened. ~Lao Tzu
  3. At the centre of your being, you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want. ~Lao Tzu
  4. When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. ~Lao Tzu
  5. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. ~Lao Tzu
  6. Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment. ~Lao Tzu
  7. The power of intuitive understanding will protect you from harm until the end of your days. ~Lao Tzu
  8. If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve. ~Lao Tzu
  9. I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, and compassion. These three are your greatest treasures. ~Lao Tzu
  10. If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. ~Lao Tzu
  11. The wise man looks into space and he knows there are no limited dimensions. ~Lao Tzu
  12. Great acts are made up of small deeds. ~Lao Tzu
  13. Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. ~Lao Tzu
  14. He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty. ~Lao Tzu
  15. Violence, even well-intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself. ~Lao Tzu

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35 witty one-liners that are corny but fun

Do you enjoy witty one-liners, dear reader? Well, today I’ve curated another collection of 35 just for you.

Yes, they’re all corny puns, that’s true, but they’re fun too, and they all made me smile. So I hope they brighten your day as well.

So, take a few minutes now to enjoy them all.

Witty one-liners:

  1. The periodic table is elementary knowledge.
  2. Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners, but cats can.
  3. I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
  4. If you know of any good fish jokes, let minnow.
  5. Spring is here! I’m so excited, I wet my plants.
  6. Puns about menstruation are not funny. Period.
  7. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
  8. Be kind to dentists because they have fillings too.
  9. How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch? Tea, Rex?
  10. Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate clauses.
  11. No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder. 
  12. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
  13. Which way did the programmers go? They went data way!
  14. I’m positive I just lost an electron. Better keep an ion that.
  15. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time-consuming.
  16. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
  17. People tend to study gravity because it’s a pretty attractive field.
  18. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
  19. If you use an umbrella, does that mean you’re under the weather?
  20. I heard a joke about a mythical sea monster and it’s still Kraken me up!
  21. After the birth of your first child, your role in life will become apparent. 
  22. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you mean your mother.
  23. I got fired from the candle factory because I refused to work wick ends!
  24. I was going to donate part of my stomach, but I didn’t have the guts.
  25. My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
  26. I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on, but then it just clicked. 
  27. Why does lightning shock people? Because it doesn’t know how to conduct itself.
  28. I’m working on a machine that can read minds. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.
  29. Did you see the headlines this morning? “Man in boxers leads police on brief chase”.
  30. Apple is designing a new automatic car, but they’re having trouble installing Windows!
  31. I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares.
  32. I was on the toilet, angry and late for work. I thought to myself, “I don’t have time for this sh*t.”
  33. How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presents.
  34. My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it’s flat. In the end, he came around.
  35. I got a pair of gloves today, but they’re both lefts. On the one hand, it’s great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

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7 best dad jokes that’ll tickle you silly

Are you looking for some of the best dad jokes, dear reader?

Well, take a look at these seven on offer today. Certainly, they’re all ‘full groan”.

I hope they make you smile.

Please feel free to share them.

Best dad jokes:

1. The shopping trip:

Wilma was an 80-year-old lady out shopping with her long-suffering, elderly husband Jack.

In the challenging economic times in which they now live, Wilma and Jack were finding that their budget was a bit tight.

So, in desperation, Wilma resorts to shoplifting.

Unfortunately for her, she gets caught in the act, and she finds herself standing in front of a judge.

Mam, could you tell me exactly what it was you stole?” asked the judge.

Yes, your honour,” Wilma responded. “I stole a can of peaches.”

And how many peaches were in the can?” the judge continued.

Your honour, I believe it was six,” said Wilma.

Then I’ll sentence you to six days in jail,” said the judge.

Before the judge could utter another word, Jack quickly interjected and said, “Your honour, you should also be aware that she stole a family-sized can of peas too.

2. Little Johnny Joke:

Little Johnny lived in Quebec with his parents.

Johnny loved to hear his parents talk about family traditions and in particular the exploits of his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather when they were all young men.

Johnny’s favourite story was the one about each of them walking on water on their 18th birthday.

Eventually around comes Johnny’s 18th birthday and he’s determined to emulate what his father, grandfather and great-grandfather were able to achieve and that was walking across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink.

So, on his birthday, Johnny sets off for that bar with his friend Jim.

Johnny steps on the water first and quickly finds himself submerged and struggling to swim back to the bank, where he’s helped by Jim.

Johnny’s not happy and, when he gets home, he challenges his mother about the truth of all those family stories.

It’s my 18th birthday, ma,” said Johnny, “if those stories were true, how come I couldn’t walk on water?

Johnny,” his mother responded. “it’s August! Your father, grandfather and great-grandfather were all born in January when the lake is frozen.”

Michael Rubinstein is a wealthy Manhattan art dealer.

Late one afternoon he gets a phone call from his attorney, Jack Greenbaum.

Hey, Michael,” says Jack, “I have some good news and I have some bad news for you.”

Oh, Jack, I’m having a lousy day,” Michael responds, “cheer me up with some good news first.”

Well,” says Jack, “I met with your wife earlier and she informs me that she’s invested $5,000 in two pictures that she believes will bring her 20 million dollars. And I think she’s right.”

Wow,” says Michael, “it seems my wife’s got a good head for business. So, what’s the bad news?

The pictures are of you in an Acapulco hotel room with your secretary,” says Jack, “when you told your wife you were in Europe on business.”

Pete and Zak were racing down the highway on Pete’s motorcycle.

Now Pete was wearing a leather jacket, but the zip was broken, so the jacket was open. Eventually Pete pulled over and said to Zak, “Listen, Buddy, with my jacket open, the cold weather is really starting to get to me. It’s freezing.”

Zak suggested he put his jacket on back to front so his chest would be covered.

Pete did as suggested, and the two of them then got back on the bike and off they went at high speed.

A couple of miles down the road, Pete took a bend at high speed, misjudged the manoeuvre, and crashed into a tree.

A farmer, who’d been working in the field nearby was the first on the scene.

Very soon after a Highway Patrolman arrived.

The cop says to the farmer, “Any signs of life?

Well,” said the farmer, “the guy riding the bike was moaning, until I twisted his head to try and get it round the right way.”

A group of husbands are all waiting outside the maternity ward whilst their wives are all in labour.

Eventually the ward sister comes out and says to the first guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

Now, that’s ironic,” says the guy, “because I work for Minnesota Twins.”

The ward sister then says to the second guy, “I got some news for you too. You’re the father of triplets. Congratulations!”

Now, that’s incredible,” says the guy, “because I work for the 3M company.”

The ward sister smiles at the third guy and then says, “Believe it or not, you’re now the father of quadruplets. Congratulations!

Well, ain’t that a coincidence,” says the guy, “because I work for the Four Seasons Hotel.”

At this point, the fourth guy passes out on the floor.

The ward sister and her colleagues rush to his aid and get him back on his feet. “Are you alright?” says the ward sister.

I’m afraid of the news you’re about to tell me,” says the guy, “I work for 7Up!

Jim was learning Spanish, and he went off to Mexico for some deep immersion in using the language.

However, he decided it might be useful to hire a Mexican guide to help him with conversation.

As they are walking through Tijuana, Jim notices an enormous fly and he says to his guide, “Jose, mira! El mosca.”

Jose smiles benevolently and says, “No, Senor, la mosca. Es feminina.”

Really?” says Jim. “You can actually see that from here?

7. Magic glasses:

Bill is browsing in a joke shop looking for a novelty gift when the shop owner says to him, “If you’re looking for something unusual, I’ve got just the thing.

And what’s that?” asks Bill.

Magic glasses,” said the owner. “They cost $500 but, believe me, they’re worth every cent.”

The owner then hands Bill a pair of these glasses and he tries them on.

Well, he can’t believe what he’s seeing. The owner now appears completely naked.

Bill removes the glasses to check and sure enough, without them the owner is fully clothed. He puts them on again and he sees the owner naked once more.

They’re amazing,” said Bill. “I’ll take them.”

Bill leaves the shop wearing the glasses and then walks down Main Street.

Everyone he passes appears completely naked.

Bill is so pleased with his purchase that he decides to surprise his wife at home before returning to the office.

Bill’s still wearing the glasses when he walks into their living room.

Sitting on the sofa, he sees both his wife and his neighbour both completely naked.

They both recoil in horror on suddenly seeing Bill.

Bill then takes off the glasses only for them both to still appear naked.

Well, I’ll be damned!” said Bill. “I’ve had them for less than half an hour and they’re already faulty.”

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How serious money is made through self-employment

Today I thought it would be interesting to consider how serious money is made through self-employment rather than spending your life working as a wage slave.

There are many ways to make money, dear reader, and they all have their merits.

For instance, if you get a job with a big corporation, it’s possible to earn a decent income, and you may enjoy a few fringe benefits too.

And if you get a job in the public sector, the pay may not be as good, but the pension scheme is usually the best you’ll find anywhere. And of course, working for the government is usually a fairly secure form of employment too.

So, if you become a wage slave in any sector, you can make a living, and sometimes that can even be a decent living as well.

However, unless you work on Wall Street or for an investment bank in the City of London, you are unlikely to make a fortune. Unfortunately, dear reader, that’s one of life’s facts.

The road to serious money:

So, if you aim to make serious money, then you should consider self-employment.

And the good news is that we live in an age in which becoming self-employed has never been easier or cheaper. As a result of the Internet, there are so many business opportunities that were simply not available to previous generations.

And the best news is, you don’t even have to give up your day job, not initially anyway.

You can start your own business as a part-time side hustle, initially, and keep it that way until the income your business is generating for you is sufficient for you to live on.

You can even start one business to generate extra cash and as it makes money you can invest that cash into bigger and potentially more profitable opportunities. The possibilities are endless.

The downside of being an employee:

As an employee, you’re trading your time for money and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with that if that’s your preference.

However, if your firm does well, you’re unlikely to benefit significantly from any extra profit they make. You might get a bonus but regardless of personal contribution, it’s more likely to be an incidental sum rather than life-changing money.

With your own business, you can make money whilst you’re sleeping.

If you want to get seriously rich then you’ll have to find ways to start making money while you sleep.

Now dear reader I can hear you asking, but how do you make money while you sleep?

Let me give you some examples of online businesses where you could start with little or no money and start making money while you sleep.

Selling products online:

The Internet provides you with the ability to reach most of the people on the planet, wouldn’t you agree?

Think about that for a second.

If you create a website or an online store then billions of people around the world will have access to it. And those people can access it while you’re asleep.

So the potential is there for you to create something that can be generating money for you 24 hours a day 365 days every year.

Still not convinced? Let me give you some examples of businesses you could start to achieve this goal:-

Selling on Amazon:

If you’ve ever bought anything from Amazon you’ll probably have noticed that Amazon is not always the actual seller of the item you are seeking to purchase. Other suppliers sell their products through Amazon via what is known as Amazon Marketplace.

And when third-party suppliers sell products via Amazon they can also use a service known as Fulfilment by Amazon (FBA).

This means if you are the seller, you deliver your stock of products to Amazon and they’ll handle all the logistics associated with product delivery to the buyer.

Fulfilment by Amazon (FBA):

If you want to sell products but you don’t want to handle the packing, postage, and delivery then you can get Amazon to handle it all for you using FBA.

You can do it yourself of course but the point is that you don’t have to because there’s an easier way.

So you can focus on finding products that will offer solutions to the problems your target customers have and just let Amazon do the rest.

And remember this; those products don’t even have to be new. They can be ‘second-hand‘ or used items too.

Second-hand products:

As long as you can find a suitable niche in second-hand products, there is money to be made.

Let me offer you an example.

Each year graduating students have textbooks to sell. Maybe you’ve had that experience, dear reader?

Essentially such students want to get some cash back for books they’re unlikely to read ever again.

Shrewd entrepreneurs recognize that there’ll be a ready market for those textbooks at the start of the next academic year. New students will want to obtain course textbooks at a better price if they can.

So entrepreneurs offer ‘selling students‘ a quick way to turn their textbooks into a little cash.

And then ‘buying students‘ will be sold those same textbooks at a rate which will save them money on the price for the same book had it been bought new.

You make money and everyone’s a winner.

Set up a website:

The entrepreneurial you can set up a website to attract booksellers and then through Amazon Marketplace the books you’ve bought cheaply can be sold at a profit.

And in that way, you could create a profitable second-hand book business.

You could repeat the same trick with music such as vinyl records and CDs, as well as films on DVD.

Second-hand smartphones, tablet computers, and other technology items offer another entrepreneurial possibility.

And don’t forget there’s demand for second-hand clothes too.

Alternatively, you could source your products, e.g. skincare products, cosmetics, household products, and so on and then sell those via Amazon.

I know plenty of people who have created successful businesses with this approach and from them made good money. 

Selling on eBay:

When people sell stuff at a boot sale or yard sale, they usually sell at low prices because they price items for a quick sale.

These are things they need to get rid of as quickly as possible for whatever reason and get whatever they can for them. So, there’s a potential opportunity for those with an entrepreneurial spirit.

You buy these items cheaply and then resell them on eBay for profit.

More importantly, people sometimes sell valuable stuff at boot sales and yard sales for ridiculously low prices because they don’t realize the real value of the item.

On the British television show Flog It, I saw a woman sell an antique vase at auction for £800 having originally bought it at a boot sale for just £1. Now that’s a healthy profit.

Yes, such examples would be the exception but shrewd people can and do make money this way and eBay is a great vehicle for doing so.

Affiliate Marketing:

Affiliate marketing is ‘commission only’ selling.

It works through an idea known as content marketing. The idea is that if you can direct traffic to a product seller’s website which results in a sale then you get paid a commission for that sale.

The amount of commission can be as low as 4% or less from the Amazon Affiliate Program to as much as 75% from some items offered through programs like Clickbank and CJ (Commission Junction, as it was known previously).

The idea is that you create a website in a niche of your choice, generate content on known problems for which people are searching for solutions, and then recommend a product as part of the solution you offer. Then you include an affiliate link to that product and you’ll get a commission every time a sale is made.

How do you achieve this in practice?

Well despite its relatively low commission rates, Amazon offers the easiest opportunity for the beginner. You sign up for the Amazon Affiliate Program and then identify a suitable niche that interests you.

Let’s say that niche is budget-priced sports shoes for women. Now the niche does need to be focused and quite narrow. The category ‘Shoes‘ would be far too wide. You need to think about categories for which people will be searching via Google and other search engines.

Once you decide on a niche, you create a website publishing offering reviews of sports shoes for women.

And remember; those reviews don’t have to be your own necessarily.

They could be a curation of reviews you’ve read elsewhere, summarised with an overall rating based on what others have been saying. In other words, you’ve done the hard work for readers by providing them with a comprehensive summary of all the reviews out there and then providing a convenient link to Amazon so that they can easily make their purchase

Creating a review summary by curating input from other sources is legitimate, as long as you acknowledge the different sources which form the basis of your article.

Why review sites are a good idea:

Review sites work with affiliate marketing because they capture buying intent and that’s important.

If someone searches for a review of an item on Google, there is a strong possibility that they will buy if the reviews are positive.

When producing your review articles the crucial action is to embed affiliate links within the text.

Getting readers to click on those links and taking them to Amazon is how you’ll make money. If they buy within 24 hours of clicking on a link you will get paid a commission.

Amazon commissions vary depending on the number and type of sales for which you are credited each month.

So in choosing a niche, you must think about product value too. Generate low-value sales and you won’t make much. However, sales for items with a bigger price tag can prove very lucrative.

That said generating some low-value sales can be a way of pushing subsequent bigger ticket sales into a higher commission rate. So don’t ignore them completely.

Content Marketing:

Essentially content marketing is publishing web content to promote products and services. Content marketing is closely linked with affiliate marketing but not exclusively so.

There are two types of content you can consider, as follows:-

(1) Written Content:

For instance, if you’re producing regular content and publishing it on your blog then there’s the potential to generate an income through advertising.

Now selling advertising space on your blog or website is only possible if you have substantial traffic.

However, If you’re just starting you will not reach those levels for quite some time.

Nevertheless, what is known as pay-per-click (CPC) advertising could generate money for you right from the start.

Perhaps the best-known CPC program is one offered by Google Adsense. You sign up for this program, then embed Google’s links in your blog and they will insert advertising on your blog that is relevant to your content.

EZOIC is another excellent advertising opportunity for new content marketers and bloggers.

Every time a reader clicks on an advertisement you will get paid and it’s not purchase-dependent. Readers only have to click for you to get paid.

The trick with Adsense and EZOIC is to have a narrow focus for your blog.

Here’s an example. Let’s say your blog is about how to keep chickens and deal with blights like red mite. You’ll attract search-engine-generated traffic from people desperate to deal with the problem of red mite. Google or EZOIC will insert ads from companies offering products that will help with this problem and desperate people are likely to click on those ads to see what’s on offer. They click, and you get paid.

As long as your subject matter is focused and narrow, and ideally based on a highly searched keyword or phrase, then this can be a way to generate decent money. However, the traffic levels to your blog will have an impact on how much money you can reasonably make.

(2) Video Content:

Another way to benefit from Google Adsense is to create your own YouTube channel, produce videos and again insert links from Google so that relevant pay-per-click advertising will appear on and around the video. Again if people click then you get paid.

Write eBooks:

Devices such as the iPad, the Kindle and other eReaders, provide you with the opportunity to self-publish eBooks and sell them through Amazon.

You may not be able to come up with the next Harry Potter work of fiction but there is good money to be made writing ‘How To’ books on just about any subject.

They don’t even need to be that long either.

As little as 50 pages or 8,000 – 10,000 words covering a topic of general interest can be enough to produce something that will sell for one dollar or one pound sterling. That might not seem like a lot but sell 1,000 of them and you’ve made a decent sum of money.

Write something on an evergreen topic and it could sell for years.

If you write several eBooks like this on evergreen topics, that could become a decent income stream.

And what do I mean by evergreen?

These are topics for which people have always looked for solutions. That might be something like tips for good time management, or how to lose weight, and so on.

And even if you’re not an expert you can research the necessary information and pull it together for people. Essentially you will be doing the work for your readers.

And don’t forget, nowadays you also have the power of artificial intelligence (AI) to help you in the form of Gemini and ChatGPT. These are powerful writing aids.

Develop Apps:

If you can learn to write code, and of course, you can learn to write code, then you can also learn how to develop apps. If you can develop a killer app and sell it through the App Store then you can make serious money.

And a great app might attract a corporation to buy it for big money. By way of an example, the app Wordle was sold to the New York Times for more than $1 million. That’s a decent payday, don’t you think?

OK, so you’d love to develop an app but you don’t know where to start, right?

Well, there are endless videos and tutorials on YouTube and from these, you can learn how to code and develop apps.

Yes, there’s some work to be done upfront of course.

However, a good app will generate money for years to come. Just think about apps like Candy Crush Saga.

Produce something that becomes a real fad and there’s serious money to be made.

11 things to bear in mind:

If becoming self-employed appeals to you and you fancy making money as an online entrepreneur then here are 11 things you should bear in mind:-

  1. Know your target customers.
  2. Know your target niche or niches
  3. Know your strengths and interests?
  4. Apply your strengths and interests to serve customers
  5. Recognize that different markets need different strategies.
  6. Make sure you’re capturing buying intent.
  7. Create an image that will appeal to your target audience.
  8. With a website, traffic matters.
  9. Search engine optimization (SEO) will bring traffic.
  10. Getting backlinks from other websites will help with SEO.
  11. Be determined, work hard, and learn as you go.

6 things you must do when you’re self-employed:

(1) Register with the tax authorities: Make money by all means but pay your taxes too. Upsetting the tax authorities is not a good idea dear reader wherever you live. In some countries, tax regimes are more benign than in others but it’s always better to keep the tax authorities happy.

(2) Register for sales taxes and VAT: Again it’s all about paying your dues. If you do well financially then you have an obligation to share some of your wealth with the rest of society. Taxes are the price we pay to live in society and you can’t have a successful business without the society in which you live.

(3) Get a separate business bank account: Keep your business activities separate from your personal life. This is very important.

(4) Keep accurate and up-to-date records: You’ll need these in any dialogue with the tax authorities. You don’t want to end up paying more tax than was necessary. Paying your dues is one thing; overpaying your dues is careless.

(5) Insure your business: When you’re in business, you’re required by law to have certain insurance policies. Exactly which policies you need depends on the nature of your business activities. Make sure you know your obligations and act accordingly.

(6) Keep it simple: In the early days, you don’t want to be spending money you don’t have on things that are initially unnecessary. So keep everything as simple as possible for as long as possible.

Conclusion:

Self-employment can be an attractive proposition and for most people, it is the only way you will ever make a fortune. It’s not easy of course but it can be done and you don’t have to ditch your day job to get started.

With an online business, you can start small and build it up over time. And you can mix and match options. For instance, you can start a website to make money with both affiliate marketing and Google Adsense or EZOIC.

A good review website can become quite profitable and once it’s generating revenues on ‘autopilot’ it can become an asset that you can sell for serious money. There are plenty of examples where such sites have sold for 6 and even 7-figure sums.

Don’t underestimate the challenges of course but it can be done and people do. Why not you?

So, think carefully about how best to exploit the opportunities before you and then have a go.

Good luck and may you be the next Richard Branson.

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If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

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If you do I will be forever grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Self_Employment

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15 amusing quotes by Zsa Zsa Gabor

The late Zsa Zsa Gabor was an actress and socialite known for her luxurious taste, glamorous sense of style, and series of high-profile marriages to wealthy men. She was married nine times.

Born in Hungary to parents of Jewish heritage, she was crowned Miss Hungary in 1936.

She began her stage career in Vienna before leaving for the United States in 1941.

With her strong personality, grace, and charm, she became a much sought-after actress and was highly regarded for her European flair and style.

Zsa Zsa Gabor never failed to speak her mind, particularly when it came to matters of men, marriage, and celebrity, and she was well known for her witty remarks and memorable one-liners.

Her sisters were the actresses Eva Gabor and Magda Gabor.

She was a Hollywood legend, so let’s remember some of her most memorable quips with what I think are 15 very amusing quotes.

Amusing quotes by Zsa Zsa Gabor:

  1. I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  2. My husband said it was him or the cat. I miss him sometimes.~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  3. How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  4. I’m a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  5. I want a man who is kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  6. There is no diet for a big ego.~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  7. A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  8. Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  9. When in trouble, take a bath and wash your hair.~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  10. Any woman who diets all the time can’t help but be grouchy. Nobody can be amusing or entertaining on a diet.~Zsa Zsa Gabor 
  11. I believe in large families. Every woman should have at least three husbands.~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  12. A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  13. I love the intellectual type. They know everything and suspect nothing. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  14. The only place men want depth in their women is in her décolletage. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  15. I always said marriage should be a fifty-fifty proposition. He should be at least fifty years old and have at least fifty million dollars.~Zsa Zsa Gabor
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15 Quotes by Bill Bryson you will love

Quotes-by-Bill-Bryson

Born in Des Moines, Iowa, Bill Bryson is an American author who came to prominence in the United Kingdom with the book Notes from a Small Island in 1995. This book was an exploration of Britain and it was accompanied by a television series at the time.

Bill Bryson has subsequently written numerous books on travel, the English language, science, and other non-fiction topics. His books are warm and witty, and they are a pleasure to read.

Reading Bill Bryson’s travel books is often a better experience than actually going there yourself, I think.

They are all excellent, and I recommend them highly.

Here are 15 quotes by Bill Bryson to give you a flavour of his observations.

Quotes by Bill Bryson:

  1. You may find that your parents are the most delightful people, but you don’t want to live with them. ~Bill Bryson
  2. I’ve never quite understood that feeling: that you arrive in a strange place, yet you want to have nothing but familiar experiences. ~Bill Bryson
  3. My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can’t make your children carry. ~Bill Bryson
  4. In any area of human endeavour, there’s going to be mediocrity. You’re going to find people who get money that they shouldn’t get. ~Bill Bryson
  5. Personally, I’ve never been attracted to danger. It’s not my sort of thing. I am more attracted to pubs and cafes. The known, safe and comfortable world. ~Bill Bryson
  6. A world without newspapers or a world where the newspapers are purely electronic and you read them on a screen is not a very appealing world. ~Bill Bryson
  7. In order to have quality journalism, you need to have a good income stream and no Internet model has produced a way of generating income that would pay for good-quality investigative journalism. ~Bill Bryson
  8. To me, the greatest invention of my lifetime is the laptop computer and the fact that I can be working on a book and be in an airport lounge, in a hotel room, and continue working; I fire up my laptop, and I’m in exactly the same place I was when I left home. That to me is a miracle. ~Bill Bryson
  9. England was full of words I’d never heard before – streaky bacon, short back and sides, Belisha beacon, serviettes, high tea, ice-cream cornet. ~Bill Bryson
  10. Although I was always very happy in Britain, I never stopped thinking of America as home, in the fundamental sense of the term. It was where I came from, what I really understood, the base against which all else was measured. ~Bill Bryson
  11. The world is very lucky to have America. It’s got to be the first time in the whole history of the planet that a country has been the dominant force in the world and it has actually been a force for good… America really deserves more credit. ~Bill Bryson
  12. Very little of what America does is actually bad, and I don’t think it ever does anything anywhere that is intentionally bad. I mean, sometimes we make mistakes and bad judgments and kind of back the wrong regimes and things, but by and large, what America does is really good. ~Bill Bryson
  13. I can’t imagine there has ever been a more gratifying time or place to be alive than America in the 1950s. No country had ever known such prosperity. ~Bill Bryson
  14. I always tell people there’s only one trick to writing: You have to write something that people are willing to pay money to read. It doesn’t have to be very good, necessarily, but somebody, somewhere, has got to be willing to pay money for it. ~Bill Bryson
  15. Science has been quite embattled. It’s the most important thing there is. An arts graduate is not going to fix global warming. They may do other valuable things, but they are not going to fix the planet or cure cancer or get rid of malaria. ~Bill Bryson
Quotes by Bill Bryson 2
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25 corny puns that’ll make you smile or make you cringe

Do you like corny puns, dear reader? I hope so, because I’ve pulled together 25 of them for you. They’ll make you smile or make you cringe, but either way, I’m sure you’ll appreciate the clever wordplay.

So sit back and take a few minutes to enjoy them all.

Corny Puns:

  1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
  2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
  3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
  4. Why do bees stay in their hives during the winter? Swarm.
  5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
  6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
  7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
  8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
  9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
  10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
  11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
  12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
  13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
  14. Why is ‘dark’ spelt with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
  15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
  16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
  17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
  18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
  19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
  20. I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
  21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
  22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
  23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
  24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
  25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

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28 Quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt certain to inspire you

Quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I thought it would be interesting to explore some quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt.

Anna Eleanor Roosevelt, better known as Eleanor Roosevelt, was an American political figure, diplomat, and activist. She served as the first lady of the United States from 1933 to 1945, during her husband President Franklin D. Roosevelt‘s four terms in office. She was, in fact, the longest-serving first lady of the United States, so far.

Eleanor Roosevelt served as United States Delegate to the United Nations General Assembly from 1945 to 1952. President Harry S. Truman later called her the “First Lady of the World” in tribute to her human rights achievements.

In 1999, Eleanor Roosevelt was ranked ninth in the top ten of Gallup’s List of Most Widely Admired People of the 20th Century and was listed thirteen times as the most admired woman between 1948 and 1961.

She was one very wise and intelligent lady and therefore definitely worth listening to, in my opinion.

So here are 28 quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt. I hope you find them all interesting. Please feel free to share them with your friends. 

Quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt:

  1. Understanding is a two-way street. 
  2. Happiness is not a goal; it’s a by-product.
  3. You must do the things you think you cannot do. 
  4. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
  5. I’m so glad I never feel important, it does complicate life!
  6. When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.
  7. It’s not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.
  8. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
  9. As for accomplishments, I just did what I had to do as things came along.
  10. Never allow a person to tell you No who doesn’t have the power to say Yes.
  11. I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.
  12. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
  13. A woman is like a tea bag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
  14. I cannot believe that war is the best solution. No one won the last war, and no one will win the next war.
  15. Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
  16. People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.
  17. Friendship with one’s self is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. 
  18. Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticised anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
  19. The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper is that your guests are so pleased to feel how very much better they are.
  20. Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.
  21. You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.
  22. You can never really live anyone else’s life, not even your child’s. The influence you exert is through your own life, and what you’ve become yourself.
  23. One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
  24. In all our contacts it is probably the sense of being really needed and wanted which gives us the greatest satisfaction and creates the most lasting bond.
  25. In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
  26. You gain strength, courage, and confidence through every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ 
  27. Too often the great decisions are originated and given form in bodies made up wholly of men, or so completely dominated by them that whatever of special value women have to offer is shunted aside without expression.
  28. Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognise that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.

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33 irony and sarcasm quotes that subtly convey contempt

People can be challenging at times, can’t they? Sometimes they do get too much, I’m sure you’ll agree. So there are times when we all need to use a little irony and sarcasm, to subtly convey our contempt.

We can’t live without people, of course, but they can drive us all nuts at times, can’t they? Well, maybe that’s just me.

I love people. At least, most of the time, anyway.

However, I also like to have my little stock of sarcastic remarks, retorts, and put-downs ready to use when I need them. And occasionally, we all need them, surely?

So today I thought I’d share with you 33 irony and sarcasm quotes that subtly convey contempt.

Read them. Enjoy them. And I hope at least some of them make you smile.

And if you’re ever in a situation that warrants a biting comeback, then you’ll be well-prepared. I hope so anyway.

Irony and Sarcasm:

irony-and-sarcasm-quotes-1
  1. You go, girl! And please don’t come back.
  2. I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
  3. Those who laugh last think slowest.
  4. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than your absence.
  5. It’s obvious that in your profession, being stupid is not a handicap.
  6. Look, I’m really busy right now. Can I ignore you some other time?
  7. Is being stupid your profession, or are you simply gifted that way?
  8. If you’re ever given the keys to the city, then the city will need to change the locks.
  9. How is it that when you see light at the end of the tunnel, they always manage to extend the tunnel?
  10. If ignorance is bliss then you should be the happiest guy on the planet.
  11. To err is human but to blame it on others, now that’s the art of politics.
  12. I’d say something polite but that might encourage you to hang around and that would be more than I could bear today.
  13. They said this was a job anyone could do and now I’ve met you, I know that to be true.
  14. You’re living proof that inability is not necessarily a liability in the job market.
  15. I didn’t vote for you, I voted to stop your opponent from gaining power.
  16. Sorry for the pause but I was trying to imagine you with a personality.
  17. When you say something worth hearing I’ll listen but I doubt that’ll happen any time soon.
  18. Look I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you. You’ve got to do some of the heavy lifting yourself.
  19. Did my opinion offend you? You should hear the opinions I keep to myself.
  20. I do try to see things from your point of view but your point of view is so stupid.
  21. If what I said is a problem for you then perhaps you could write it down on a piece of paper and then shove that piece of paper right up your ass.
  22. You’re reading that book to look good, surely? Certainly, as far as I can tell, you lack the brains to understand it.
  23. You’re one of those people who manage to spread a little misery wherever you go.
  24. I’d enlighten you if I could but I’m not a magician.
  25. You’re living proof that light travels faster than sound. You appeared quite bright until I heard what you said.
  26. It wasn’t my intention to offend you when I called you stupid. I just assumed you knew that already.
  27. Are you really that stingy or do you just have extremely short arms and very deep pockets?
  28. If laughter is the best medicine then your face is the cure for every illness known to man.
  29. I’m not listening but please keep talking. Why wouldn’t I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed?
  30. Not all girls are made from sugar and spice and everything nice. Some are made from sarcasm and wine and everything fine.
  31. You may lack the power of conversation but unfortunately, you don’t lack the power of speech.
  32. If it looked like I give a damn then allow me to apologize for giving you the wrong impression.
  33. I’m not sarcastic by nature; I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

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19 fun quotes that will make you think

Life is short, and the years pass quickly. I can tell you that much from experience.

One minute you’re 15, and the next you’re 50, or so it seems.

So having fun is essential, otherwise, what would be the point?

Every minute of life is to be enjoyed. Let’s face it, we’re all going to die and it’s not a rehearsal, so we must live life whilst we can.

Fun Quotes

Yes, life can be challenging and it’s never going to be easy. However, we must all find some joy in every day of our lives.

We must treat every day as if it’s our last because one day it will be.

Above all, we must make sure we find some fun in everything we do.

Today dear reader I offer you 19 fun quotes with an emphasis on why having fun is so important.

Fun Quotes:

  1. If it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth it. ~Dennis Wilson
  2. Just play; have fun; enjoy the game. ~Michael Jordan
  3. I think that success is having fun. ~Bruno Mars
  4. There’s no fear when you’re having fun. ~Will Thomas
  5. Just keep taking chances and having fun. ~Garth Brooks
  6. I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun. ~Thomas A. Edison
  7. If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. ~Katharine Hepburn
  8. Follow your dreams. Just make sure to have fun too. ~Chris Brown
  9. Winning is only half of it. Having fun is the other half. ~Bum Phillips
  10. People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. ~Dale Carnegie
  11. Fun QuotesThere’s no need to dress like everyone else. It’s much more fun to create your own look. ~Twiggy
  12. We believe in working hard and having fun at the same time. It’s a way of life for me, and I feel tremendous. ~Robert Stigwood
  13. I feel confident imposing change on myself. It’s a lot more fun progressing than looking back. That’s why I need to throw curveballs. ~David Bowie
  14. When you start recognising that you’re having fun, life can be delightful. ~Jane Birkin
  15. Fun is one of the most important, and underrated, ingredients in any successful venture. If you’re not having fun then it’s probably time to call it quits and try something else. ~Richard Branson
  16. Have fun is my message. Be silly. You’re allowed to be silly. There’s nothing wrong with it. ~Jimmy Fallon
  17. Life is too short to not have fun; we are only here for a short time compared to the sun and the moon and all that. ~Coolio
  18. There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. ~Andrew Jackson
  19. Flying might not be all plain sailing but the fun of it is worth the price. ~Amelia Earhart

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