30 of the best puns guaranteed to make you laugh

I love a clever pun. Here are 30 of the best puns I’ve heard for a long time. I cannot be sure of there origin but they are guaranteed to make you laugh. Certainly they made me laugh and I really hope they brighten your day too.

  1. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  2. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now seasoned veteran.
  3. Atheists can’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.
  4. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  5. A girl said she recognised me from my vegetarian club but I’d never met herbivore.
  6. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  7. The Energiser Bunny has been arrested and charged with battery.
  8. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
  9. I didn’t like my beard at first but it grew on me.
  10. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  11. Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.
  12. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  13. What does the clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  14. I dreamt I wrote Lord of the Rings but I think I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
  15. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
  16. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  17. I ordered 2000 lbs. of Chinese soup. It was Won Ton.
  18. With great reflexes comes great response ability.
  19. Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory for taking a day off?
  20. Why do the French eat snails? They don’t like fast food.
  21. A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason. Details are sketchy.
  22. Don’t make jokes about unemployed people. They don’t work.
  23. My computer’s got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.
  24. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
  25. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
  26. The best time to open a gift is the present.
  27. Why did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
  28. I used to build stairs for a living but it’s an up and down business.
  29. Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
  30. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

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I hope these puns made you laugh dear reader. However perhaps you feel that you could use another laugh? If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here then please share these jokes with all  your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

21 thought-provoking one-liners you’ll love

I love a good one-line quote. They can be powerful and they can be useful when you need to reinforce a point whilst making a presentation or when you’re trying to make your case in a debate or argument.

Here are 21 great, thought-provoking one-liners all of which certainly made me think.

Thought-provoking one-liners:

  1. People may hear your words but they feel your attitude. ~John C. Maxwell
  2. The only source of knowledge is experience. ~Albert Einstein
  3. There is no substitute for hard work. ~Thomas A. Edison
  4. To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries. ~Aldous Huxley
  5. To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. ~George MacDonald
  6. Thinking will not overcome fear but action will. ~W. Clement Stone
  7. I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ~Thomas A. Edison
  8. The most violent element in society is ignorance. ~Emma Goldman
  9. Lost time is never found again. ~Benjamin Franklin
  10. The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows. ~Aristotle Onassis
  11. You have to dream before your dreams can come true. ~APJ Abdul Kalam
  12. Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live. ~Jim Rohn
  13. Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. ~Joseph Addison
  14. Health is not valued till sickness comes. ~Thomas Fuller
  15. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. ~Napoleon Bonaparte
  16. My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. ~Dalai Lama
  17. Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. ~Emily Dickinson
  18. One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. ~Bob Marley
  19. Anybody who thinks money will make you happy hasn’t got money. ~David Geffen
  20. Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway. ~John Wayne
  21. Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. ~Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

Further Reading:

If you like thought-provoking quotes then there are plenty of good books full of them. Three you might consider are:-

Incredible Quotations: 230 Thought-Provoking Quotes with Prompts to Spark Students’ Writing, Thinking, and Discussion by Jacqueline Sweeney

365 Thought Provoking Quotes: Leading you to your daily breakthrough by Cynamon Scott

The Little Book of Big Quotes: Inspirational, Motivational, Truthful, and Thought-provoking Quotes: Volume I Words That Can Change Your Life by Carlos Salinas

You can take a look at each of them by clicking on the links.

Please share with all your friends:

Did you find these thought-provoking one-liners interesting? If you did then perhaps they might interest others you know too. So please share them with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins.

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DISCLAIMER: This website is an Amazon affiliate. Should you click on any of the links in Further Reading above and then make a purchase, you should know that this website will receive a small commission. These commissions serve only to cover the cost of maintaining this site. Your understanding is truly appreciated. Thank you.

© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

15 Really Bad Jokes: So Bad They’re Funny

Here are 15 really bad jokes that will make you cringe and make you smile simultaneously.

They really are so bad they’re funny. Certainly they made me smile.

  • Cashier in store: “Would you like the milk in a bag”?
  • Man: “No, just leave it in the carton”.
  • Man in bookstore: Where is the Self Help section please?
  • Saleswoman: If I told that sir it would defeat the purpose.
  • Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
  • In case he gets a hole in one!
  • How do you make holy water?
  • You boil the hell out of it.
  • What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
  • Nothing, they just waved.
  • Who’s the king of the classroom?
  • The Ruler!
  • What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they were married?
  • Feyoncé!
  • Why can’t zoo animals take tests?
  • There are too many cheetahs!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award?
  • Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth?
  • Someday my prints will come.
  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
  • Great food but no atmosphere!
  • How many apples grow on a tree?
  • All of them!
  • How do think the unthinkable?
  • With an itheberg!
  • What do you call a blind dinosaur?
  • Doyouthinkhesaurus
  • What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
  • It goes back four seconds!

Having read these bad jokes you may feel like you can still use a good laugh. If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

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If these really bad jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

21 funny quotes about age certain to amuse you

Does getting older bother you dear reader?

If you’re like me then it might just bother you a little bit.

The years go by so quickly, don’t they? Life goes by in the blink of an eye.

We all want to make the most of our time of course. However life usually gets in the way.

When we’re young, we have time and energy but no money and few skills.

As we get older, we have the demands of work and family eating up the time we have. And whilst we have some money, it mostly goes on paying bills.

Then in old age we have money if we’ve been lucky and we have fewer demands on our time but we have no energy and our bodies start to let us down.

Life can be like a cruel joke at times. However done right, life can be fun too. Well I think so anyway.

Live life whilst you can and don’t put anything off until someday because someday never comes. If you want to do it, do it now.

Here are 21 funny quotes about age certain to amuse you and certain to get you thinking about life too.

Funny quotes about age:

  1. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. ~Tom Stoppard
  2. At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for. ~Author Unknown
  3. I don’t do drink or drugs. At my age I get the same effect just standing up too fast. ~Author Unknown
  4. Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. ~Luis Buñuel
  5. Where does it say we have to act our age? As long as it makes me happy and I’m not hurting anyone, I will act whatever age I want to. ~Author Unknown
  6. Middle age is when a guy starts turning off lights for economic rather than romantic reasons. ~Eli Cass
  7. I don’t let my age define me but the side-effects are getting harder to ignore. ~Author Unknown
  8. Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. ~Benjamin Franklin
  9. Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. ~Ogden Nash
  10. Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age. ~Victor Hugo
  11. No one is so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~Henry David Thoreau
  12. We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. ~George Bernard Shaw
  13. Age is not how old you are but how many years of fun you’ve had. ~Matt Maldre
  14. I’ve reached the age where my brain went from “You probably shouldn’t say that” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens.” ~Author Unknown
  15. Don’t let ageing get you down. It’s too hard to get back up. ~John Wagner
  16. Age is just a number that changes depending on who’s asking. ~Author Unknown
  17. Old age is always ten years older than me. ~Author Unknown
  18. Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be again. ~Author Unknown
  19. At my age I’ve heard it all; I’ve seen it all; and I’ve done it all. I just can’t remember it all. ~Author Unknown
  20. Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative. ~Maurice Chevalier
  21. Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. ~Walt Disney

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21 common sayings and what they all mean

Proverbs are simple sayings that express an essential truth based on common sense, experience or the wisdom of the ancients.

Proverbs that describe a basic rule of conduct are particularly useful and well-worth remembering.

Today I offer you 21 thought-provoking proverbs and common sayings with an explanation as to what they all mean.

You would do well to remember some of these:-

1. Be contrary; be known

To be successful visibility matters. That means you must stand out in the crowd. And you can’t stand out in the crowd if you’re just like everyone else. You must be an original not a copy.

2. Man who chases two rabbits catches neither

Learn to keep the main thing the main thing. Focus matters if you want to be successful. Try to do too many things and you won’t do any of them very well. And if you fail to do anything well then you will not be successful.

3. Knowledge is power

Learning is a lifelong process and you should be educating yourself constantly. However there is a more important point here. When negotiating in business the more you know about the other side, their needs, the pressures their under, and what they’re willing to pay and/or concede, the more likely you are to get what you want. Never underestimate the power of information.

4. When in Rome do as the Romans do

If you want to be successful in business around the world then show some respect for other people and the way they do things. Culture is simply the way things are done around here. No one culture is better than another. They are just different that’s all. So just because something might appear odd relative to what is considered ‘normal’ in your culture doesn’t make it wrong. Embrace difference and enjoy every new cultural experience.

5. Fortune favours the brave

If you want to live life to the full then it starts outside your comfort zone. Go for the low hanging fruit and the easy tasks and you won’t grow. Fail to take any risks and you’re unlikely to experience any significant rewards either. You can only be successful if you go after what you really want and that means you must take a few risks along the way. Remember this; risk and reward go together.

6. Hope for the best; prepare for the worst

If you want to be successful then be prepared for the rain because occasionally it will rain. Hope for permanent sunshine by all means but make sure you’re ready for the days when the sun refuses to shine and you need an umbrella.

7. A picture’s worth a thousand words

To be successful being able to communicate effectively is an important skill to develop. That means you need to know how to get a message across and often the most powerful way to deliver a message and make a point is often with a picture.

8. There’s no such thing as a free lunch

Everything comes with a price tag. There will always be a cost somewhere even if it’s not immediately apparent. The cost may not be financial but there will be a cost. Make sure you know what it is and make sure you’re willing to pray the price before you agree to anything.

9. Actions speak louder than words

Talk is cheap. It’s not what you say; it’s what you do and what you deliver that will make a difference. And if you want to be successful then you will need to make a difference.

10. Practice makes perfect

Every master began as a complete beginner. Mastery is achieved by becoming a student of your craft and practising constantly until you are the best at what you do. And if you want to be successful then you will need to be amongst the best at what you do.

11. Easy come; easy go

You will only truly appreciate that which has cost you in blood, sweat and tears. Success obtained easily is difficult to sustain. Easy money is easily squandered. It’s almost like you feel you’re not entitled to it, if it all came too easy to you.

12. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure

As they say in the north of England, ‘There’s brass in muck’. Meaning just because something appears to be no longer of use doesn’t mean it can’t be put to good use and can’t represent an excellent business opportunity. Old furniture can be restored. An old bicycle frame can be used in the making of some other item. Money can be made from the oddest things.

13. Familiarity breeds contempt

If your career is starting to gain traction and you’ve been promoted to management then remember this; there must always be a little bit of distance between you and the troops you manage. You cannot be too familiar with people you manage if you want their respect. Yes, take an interest in people. Yes, show them you care occasionally. However you can’t be their buddy. That doesn’t work.

14. Don’t judge a book by its cover

First impressions can be powerful and often they can be accurate too. However they’re not always accurate so it is dangerous to form an opinion based on your first impression alone.

15. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

When it comes to money and savings, diversity is the name of the game. As you become successful, a good income should follow. Make sure you start building some capital and make sure you spread it around a bit. Put all you financial eggs in one basket and calamity could follow.

16. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil

Don’t be afraid to complain when things aren’t right. If you want something resolved be prepared to make a noise. Wait patiently and you’re unlikely to find anyone keen to help you. They’re all too busy.

17. Honesty is the best policy

The problem with telling lies is that you need to have a very good memory and it’s very easy to get caught out. Tell the truth and you don’t need to remember anything. All you have to do is say exactly what happened or what you said, et cetera. Being honest makes life easier and it also makes life less stressful.

18. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink

There is only so much you can do for people. Offer to help them by all means but if they choose not to accept your offer then just leave it there. You can’t force someone to do something nor can you force them to accept your help or advice.

19. Keep friends close and enemies closer

There’s no point in fighting with your enemy. That won’t get you very far. It’s better to adopt cordial relations to keep them close. Keep them close and you can keep an eye on them. That way you’ll know what they’re up to and know what they’re planning too. Use your head not your heart in these matters.

20. Two heads are better than one

It is a fact that when people get their heads together the results are usually much better than one person’s thinking alone. Particularly with creative work, ideas bounce off each other and as those ideas come together the results can be exceptional.

21. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Treat other people in the way you’d prefer them to treat you. Show them respect and you’re much more likely to get their respect. Don’t be mean with people. You wouldn’t like it and neither will they. People will respond warmly to you if you are warm and kind to them.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

21 thought-provoking quotes about change

As the old saying goes,Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.”

We cannot avoid change because it’s going to happen whether we like it or not. Trying to stop it is like trying to hold back the tide. It can’t be done.

Change is simply a force of nature.

If you hate change, you’re not alone. Most people hate change. That’s perfectly natural.

Just when we think we have everything under control a significant change happens and suddenly we’re scrambling to get ourselves back to equilibrium.

Change can make life seem like a giant game of Snakes and Ladders at times.

So in today’s post I offer 21 thought-provoking quotes about change just to underline the point.

Quotes about change:

  1. There is nothing permanent except change. ~Heraclitus
  2. Change is the end result of all true learning. ~Leo Buscaglia
  3. Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change. ~Stephen Hawking
  4. Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. ~Carol Burnett
  5. Just when I think I’ve learned the way to live, life changes. ~Hugh Prather
  6. To improve is to change. To be perfect is to change often. ~Winston Churchill
  7. The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude. ~Oprah Winfrey
  8. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor E. Frankl
  9. The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. ~Nathaniel Branden
  10. You must be the change you wish to see in the world. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  11. No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. ~Robin Williams
  12. Change your thoughts and you change your world. ~Norman Vincent Peale
  13. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. ~Wayne Dyer
  14. I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. ~Jimmy Dean
  15. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. ~Maya Angelou
  16. Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. ~Barack Obama
  17. Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. ~George Bernard Shaw
  18. The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. ~William Arthur Ward
  19. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. ~John F. Kennedy
  20. Without change there is no innovation, creativity, or incentive for improvement. Those who initiate change will have a better opportunity to manage the change that is inevitable. ~William Pollard
  21. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality, nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit. ~Christopher McCandless

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

19 fun quotes that will make you think

Life is short and the years pass quickly. I can tell you that much from experience. One minute you’re 15 and the next you’re 50, or so it seems.

Having fun is essential. Every minute of life is to be enjoyed. Let’s face it, we’re all going to die and it’s not a rehearsal, so me must live life whilst we can.

Yes, life can be challenging and it’s never going to be easy. However we must all find some joy in each and every day of our lives.

We must treat every day as if it’s our last because one day it will be.

Above all we must make sure we find some fun in everything we do.

Here are 19 fun quotes with an emphasis on why having fun is so important.

Fun Quotes:

  1. If it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth it. ~Dennis Wilson
  2. Just play; have fun; enjoy the game. ~Michael Jordan
  3. I think that success is having fun. ~Bruno Mars
  4. There’s no fear when you’re having fun. ~Will Thomas
  5. Just keep taking chances and having fun. ~Garth Brooks
  6. I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun. ~Thomas A. Edison
  7. If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. ~Katharine Hepburn
  8. Follow your dreams. Just make sure to have fun too. ~Chris Brown
  9. Winning is only half of it. Having fun is the other half. ~Bum Phillips
  10. People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. ~Dale Carnegie
  11. There’s no need to dress like everyone else. It’s much more fun to create your own look. ~Twiggy
  12. We believe in working hard and having fun at the same time. It’s a way of life for me, and I feel tremendous. ~Robert Stigwood
  13. I feel confident imposing change on myself. It’s a lot more fun progressing than looking back. That’s why I need to throw curve balls. ~David Bowie
  14. When you start recognising that you’re having fun, life can be delightful. ~Jane Birkin
  15. Fun is one of the most important, and underrated, ingredients in any successful venture. If you’re not having fun then it’s probably time to call it quits and try something else. ~Richard Branson
  16. Have fun is my message. Be silly. You’re allowed to be silly. There’s nothing wrong with it. ~Jimmy Fallon
  17. Life is too short to not have fun; we are only here for a short time compared to the sun and the moon and all that. ~Coolio
  18. There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. ~Andrew Jackson
  19. Flying might not be all plain sailing but the fun of it is worth the price. ~Amelia Earhart

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

21 sarcasm quotes that are the sharpest form of wit

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but I’m not so sure. Personally I admire a clever put down or a few sharp words intended to put someone squarely in their place.

In today’s post I offer you 21 sarcasm quotes which are sharp. funny and they definitely made me smile. So I hope they provide you with some ammunition next time you need it.

Unfortunately despite my research, I haven’t been able to identify the originators of these clever lines, so they remain by authors unknown. Should you be able to point me in the direction of the original authors, then I would happy to add appropriate credits and links. So please, do let me know.

These are some the sharpest sarcasm quotes I’ve seen recently, so enjoy them all and make a mental note of the best ones for future use:- 

The sharpest form of wit:

  1. Me? Sarcastic? Never!
  2. Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
  3. Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
  4. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
  5. Stupidity is not a crime. So you’re free to go
  6. Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
  7. Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and you head up your ass at the same time?
  8. You never learn anything by doing it right.
  9. If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
  10. I’m returning your nose dear! I found it in my business.
  11. I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
  12. From the moment I saw you I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
  13. If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
  14. I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.
  15. Am I free tomorrow? No, I’m expensive.
  16. The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
  17. Sarcasm is the body’s natural defence against stupidity.
  18. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
  19. I disagree but I respect your right to be stupid.
  20. I stopped listening, so why don’t you stop talking?
  21. Patience: What you have when there are far too many witnesses.

If you’re still in need of a smile or two then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of laughs there.

Please share with your friends:

If these sarcasm quotes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media and give them some ammunition too. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

15 funny quotes about life and they’ll definitely make you smile

Life doesn’t come with a guarantee. It is what it is and we get out of it about as much as we are prepared to put in. Some people are lucky and others less so. And we can’t be certain of anything, other than death and taxes.

It’s a funny old world when you think about it and the experience of human existence can be funny at times too. Here are 15 funny quotes about life to emphasize the point and make you smile too.

Yes life’s hard and for many people it’s extremely tough too.

Life can be cruel for many people but for the lucky ones it can be a joy. So if you’re one of the lucky ones then embrace life and all the challenges it puts in your path. Through those challenges you will grow.

However don’t take yourself too seriously because no one else does.

Just learn to smile and appreciate whatever is good in your life. Chase success by all means but don’t expect any certainties. Just enjoy whatever comes your way.

Finally remember this; you will make mistakes. So what? Everyone else does too. Just learn from any mistakes you make and move on.

Nothing matters much when you think about it. However laughing at yourself and life is probably the most important coping tool you’ll have at your disposal. So start by laughing at these funny quotes about life.

Sadly I cannot be sure of their origins, so for the moment anyway they are by Authors Unknown. However if you can enlighten me as to their origins then please do. I am very keen to acknowledge the work of others whenever possible.

Funny Quotes About Life:

  1. What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
  2. If only common sense were more common.
  3. I really should do something with my life; maybe tomorrow.
  4. I didn’t fall; I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.
  5. Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.
  6. I’m old enough to know better but young enough to do it anyway.
  7. Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.
  8. We all have baggage; find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
  9. When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
  10. Taking a shower is awesome; it makes you feel nice and clean; makes you sound like a great singer; and it helps you make all of life’s decisions.
  11. The alphabet begins with ABC; numbers begin with 123; music begins with do-re-mi; and friendship begins with you and me.
  12. Sorry I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.
  13. I love everyone! I love to be around some people; I love to stay away from others; and some I’d just love to punch right in the face!
  14. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life vest …… I would miss you so much.
  15. Life doesn’t have any hands but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

If you’re still in need of a smile or two then please click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of laughs there.

Please share with your friends:

If these funny quotes about life made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

101 Tattoo Quotes: Make a statement about who you are

Tattoos have become highly fashionable and having quotes inscribed on your ribs, your back or your arms can be a great way to promote your own personal philosophy or simply make a personal statement.

The important thing is to find the right quote for you. So before you ink, think.

Which quote reflects the true you?

Find something original if you can. Don’t just go for the quote everyone else is using. Be an original not a copy.

So if you need some suggestions then here are 101 tattoo quotes which you might consider. 

  1. I believe in me.
  2. My life my way.
  3. I can and I will. Watch me.
  4. Think less. Live more.
  5. You’re playing with fire.
  6. Kind words touch hearts.
  7. In my story I’m the hero.
  8. I need love not judgement.
  9. Life’s short so enjoy the ride.
  10. I’m not a copy, I’m an original.
  11. I may forgive but I don’t forget.
  12. Life is a journey to infinity by bus.
  13. I’m a free spirit. No one owns me.
  14. Smooth seas don’t make skilled sailors.
  15. It’s better to wait long than marry wrong.
  16. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
  17. I’m as good as anyone and better than most.
  18. I’m an emotional being not a thing to be used.
  19. Things end and people change but life goes on.
  20. I am who I am and I don’t need your approval.
  21. Follow your heart but take your brains with you.
  22. I just want to spend the rest of my life laughing.
  23. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Live today.
  24. Are you big enough to take this tiger for a ride?
  25. Love given will be reflected. That goes for crap too.
  26. The choices you make will dictate the life you lead.
  27. I’m stronger than I look and smarter than you think.
  28. I can’t change the past but I can influence the future.
  29. I’m old enough to know better but young enough not to care.
  30. There’s your way and there’s my way but there’s no right way.
  31. You won’t get to second base without showing some commitment first.
  32. I will trust you until you give me reason not to trust you and then I will never trust you again.
  33. Making the right choices today will improve your tomorrow.
  34. You may be doing better than me but that doesn’t mean you are better than me.
  35. I wasn’t born just to go to work and pay bills until I die.
  36. I may be a work in progress but I’m getting better every day.
  37. You never really know someone until you say no to them.
  38. It’s pointless arguing with people. They’ll believe what they want to believe.
  39. Givers have to set limits because takers don’t have any.
  40. I am valuable and irreplaceable.
  41. Enjoy today for life is short and one day it will be your last.
  42. Dare to do something that scares you.
  43. Look back only to see how far you’ve come.
  44. Like me, love me. Take me, leave me. Just don’t hurt me or use me.
  45. When trust is broken, sorry means nothing.
  46. Being alone is better than being with a liar or a cheat.
  47. Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes.
  48. If your vibe isn’t positive I don’t need the drama.
  49. You’re never too important to be nice to people.
  50. Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar.
  51. There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.
  52. You’ll never have today again, so enjoy it.
  53. Nothing will work unless you do.
  54. If you have nothing in life but a good friend, you’re rich.
  55. Loneliness doesn’t come from being alone. It comes from feeling that no one cares.
  56. My past was a series of lessons not a life sentence.
  57. Don’t try to change that which can’t be changed.
  58. Enjoy each moment because life is fleeting.
  59. People will take everything you give and a bit more too but rarely is it truly appreciated.
  60. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget.
  61. Man who chases two rabbits catches neither.
  62. Happiness is enjoying the little things in life.
  63. Maybe I can; maybe I can’t. I won’t know unless I try.
  64. I’m too fabulous to fit in.
  65. I don’t want a perfect life I just want a happy life.
  66. Respect me and I’ll respect you.
  67. While we try to teach our children about life, our children teach us what life is all about.
  68. Attitude is a behaviour we choose for ourselves.
  69. The most precious jewels I’ll ever have around my neck are the arms of my children.
  70. Embrace who your children are and not who you’d like them to be.
  71. The best thing about the worst of times is that you get to see everyone’s true colours.
  72. You never know when it will be the last time, so make every time a good time.
  73. Never allow someone else to hold the key to your happiness.
  74. The quality of your life will depend on the degree to which you can tolerate life outside your comfort zone.
  75. It’s not about being the best. It’s about doing your best.
  76. Every ending is also a beginning. Embrace the next chapter in your story.
  77. Good things may go to those who wait but the best things go to those who hustle.
  78. I win or I learn a lesson but either way I gain.
  79. Don’t lie to me. It’s not worth it and I don’t deserve it.
  80. A positive mind finds opportunity in everything. A negative mind finds fault in everything.
  81. I need encouragement more than I need critics.
  82. The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
  83. Marry the right person and you’ll be happy. Marry the wrong one and you’ll be a philosopher.
  84. There’s no such thing as failure only feedback.
  85. Life may be hard but it’s harder if you’re stupid.
  86. You can’t change people they must change themselves.
  87. One good friend is worth a thousand fake ones.
  88. I can only be myself. Anything else would be a fake.
  89. I am unique just like everyone else.
  90. It doesn’t matter whether you believe I can, as long as I believe I can.
  91. If you can only be one thing, be kind.
  92. Life is what you make it, so make it great.
  93. Real life starts outside your comfort zone.
  94. Know your why and you’ll find a way.
  95. Every day is a new opportunity to start again.
  96. Nothing matters much and few things really matter at all.
  97. If you’re thinking anyway, you might as well think big.
  98. Life is an adventure or it is nothing at all.
  99. You become the people you surround yourself with.
  100. I live life through the windshield not the rear view mirror.
  101. Words have power, use them wisely.

Did you find any of these tattoo quotes useful? Feel free to use them.

Please share with your friends:

If they did help you then please share them with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

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