15 Quotes by Bob Newhart


There are many fine comedians and many of the finest are American in my opinion. And I think one of the funniest American comedians is Bob Newhart. A few years ago I was fortunate enough to stumble upon his audio recording the Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart and from that moment on I was hooked. It was one of the funniest things I’d ever heard. If you’re unfamiliar with his work then I recommend you check him out. In the meantime here are 15 quotes by Bob Newhart, some of which reflect his humor, some reflect his sense of the absurd and some are just thought-provoking.

  1. The only way to survive is to have a sense of humor. ~Bob Newhart
  2. Don’t be silly and don’t waste your time. ~Bob Newhart
  3. Don’t live in the past. There’s no point. You can’t change anything. What a waste of time. ~Bob Newhart
  4. I don’t like country music but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down’. ~Bob Newhart
  5. People are meant to be in certain places, and I think I’m meant to be on a sound stage doing situation comedy. ~Bob Newhart
  6. The best advice I was probably given and the best advice I could give someone who is trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills. ~Bob Newhart
  7. Comedians are innately programmed to pick up oddities like mispronounced words, upside-down books on a shelf, and generally undetectable mistakes in everyday life. ~Bob Newhart
  8. I don’t know how doctors pick one specialty over another. Some you can understand. Paediatricians or gynaecologists delivering babies, bringing a new life into the world, but how does someone want to be a proctologist? How can you fall in love with proctology? ~Bob Newhart
  9. With the advent of cell phones, especially with the very small microphone that attach to the cell phone itself, it’s getting harder and harder I find, to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. ~Bob Newhart
  10. I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage. ~Bob Newhart
  11. All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world. ~Bob Newhart
  12. Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. ~Bob Newhart
  13. Probably the best advice I ever got in my life was from the head of the accounting department, Mr. Hutchinson, at the Glidden Company in Chicago, and he told me, ‘You really aren’t cut out for accounting.’ ~Bob Newhart
  14. I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn’t work, then I knew it didn’t work. Then I would go back and do whatever. But at least I wouldn’t torture myself the rest of my life, wondering whatever would have happened. ~Bob Newhart
  15. All I can say about life is, ‘Oh God, enjoy it!’ ~Bob Newhart

If you’re not familiar with Bob Newhart’s work then I  can strongly recommend you listen to the Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart. I can also recommend The Button-Down Mind Strikes Back! These audio recordings are  both funny and well worth your time. Well worth buying your own copies too.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved

15 Quotes by Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx, born Julius Henry Marx, was an American comedian, writer, stage, film, radio and television star and part of the successful and immensely popular comedy act known as The Marx Brothers. Groucho was known for his quick wit and he is widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era. With his siblings the Marx Brothers, Groucho Marx made 13 feature films but he also had a successful solo career in radio and television. Here are 15 quotes by Groucho Marx which illustrate his quick wit.

  1. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you’ve got it made. ~Groucho Marx
  2. I intend to live forever, or die trying. ~Groucho Marx
  3. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. ~Groucho Marx
  4. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. ~Groucho Marx
  5. Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. ~Groucho Marx
  6. No man goes before his time, unless the boss leaves early. ~Groucho Marx
  7. Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others. ~Groucho Marx
  8. I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. ~Groucho Marx
  9. Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. ~Groucho Marx
  10. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. ~Groucho Marx
  11. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? ~Groucho Marx
  12. There’s one way to find out if a man is honest, ask him. If he says, yes, you know he’s a crook. ~Groucho Marx
  13. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. ~Groucho Marx
  14. Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me? ~Groucho Marx
  15. Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? ~Groucho Marx

The work of Groucho Marx and the Marx Brothers is still available on Amazon. You can check it out if you CLICK HERE.

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15 Quotes by George Orwell

George Orwell was the pen name of the late author Eric Arthur Blair. As George Orwell he was and he still is widely respected as a novelist, essayist, journalist and critic. He was arguably one of the great thinkers of the twentieth century, certainly in the English-speaking world. His best known novels Animal Farm and 1984 are still essential reading for anyone with aspirations of being widely read. Here are 15 quotes by George Orwell that are guaranteed to make you think.

  1. Big Brother is watching you. ~George Orwell
  2. At fifty everyone has the face he deserves. ~George Orwell
  3. No one can look back on his schooldays and say with truth that they were altogether unhappy. ~George Orwell
  4. If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. ~George Orwell
  5. In our age there is no such thing as keeping out of politics. All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia. ~George Orwell
  6. Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. ~George Orwell
  7. Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. ~George Orwell
  8. Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. ~George Orwell
  9. People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. ~George Orwell
  10. But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought. ~George Orwell
  11. So much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don’t even know that fire is hot. ~George Orwell
  12. All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting. ~George Orwell
  13. Society has always to demand a little more from human beings than it will get in practice. ~George Orwell
  14. Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper. ~George Orwell
  15. Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting. ~George Orwell

Did you find these quotes interesting? Would you like to explore the work of George Orwell further? Well, both Animal Farm and 1984 are well worth reading, if you’ve not read them already. Alternatively you can explore other books by George Orwell on Amazon if you CLICK HERE.

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15 Quotes by Omar Khayyam

Omar Khayyam was a Persian mathematician, astronomer, poet and philosopher. He was born in what is now Iran in the year 1048 and he was widely respected by his contemporaries and succeeding generations. In fact his work is still widely respected today and arguably he remains one of the most important cultural figures in Middle Eastern history. Here are 15 quotes by Omar Khayyam which I think reflect his philosophy.

  1. Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life. ~Omar Khayyam
  2. My friend, let’s not think of tomorrow but let’s enjoy this fleeting moment of life. ~Omar Khayyam
  3. Dead yesterdays and unborn tomorrows, why fret about it, if today be sweet? ~Omar Khayyam
  4. I have not asked for life but I try to accept whatever life brings without surprise and I shall depart again without having questioned anyone about my strange stay here on earth. ~Omar Khayyam
  5. The value of three things is justly appreciated by all classes of men: youth by the old; health by the diseased; and wealth by the needy. ~Omar Khayyam
  6. When I want to understand what is happening today or try to decide what will happen tomorrow, I look back. ~Omar Khayyam
  7. A hair divides what is false and true. ~Omar Khayyam
  8. As far as you can avoid it, do not give grief to anyone. Never inflict your rage on another. If you hope for eternal rest, feel the pain yourself; but don’t hurt others. ~Omar Khayyam
  9. Realise this: one day your soul will depart from your body and you will
    be drawn behind the curtain that floats between us and the unknown. While you wait for that moment, be happy, because you don’t know where you came from and you don’t know where you will be going.
    ~Omar Khayyam
  10. Give me a flagon of red wine, a book of verses, a loaf of bread, and a little idleness. If with such store I might sit by thy dear side in some lonely place, I should deem myself happier than a king in his kingdom. ~Omar Khayyam
  11. The moving finger writes, and having written moves on. Nor all thy piety nor all thy wit, can cancel half a line of it. ~Omar Khayyam
  12. It’s too bad if a heart lacks fire and is deprived of the light of a heart ablaze. The day on which you are without passionate love is the most wasted day of your life. ~Omar Khayyam
  13. A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. ~Omar Khayyam
  14. To be free of belief and unbelief is my religion. ~Omar Khayyam
  15. There was a door to which I found no key: There was the veil through which I might not see. ~Omar Khayyam

If you found these quotes interesting and you’d like to explore the work of Omar Khayyam further then try his classic collection of poems known as The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyam. You can explore this on Amazon if you CLICK HERE.

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21 thought-provoking quotes about letting go

Emotional attachments to people, to employers, to property and even to places and things affect us all occasionally. And breaking an emotional attachment can be hard for anyone. However if you don’t let go, you can’t move on. You have to accept that not everyone and everything will stay with you permanently on your journey from the cradle to the grave. Your life is simply a series of chapters and not everyone or everything is guaranteed a place in every chapter. That privilege is reserved for you only. So sometimes it will be necessary for you to let go, hard as that may be. Here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about letting go to underline today’s message.

  1. You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away and know when to run. ~Don Schlitz
  2. You can’t move forward if you’re still hanging on. ~Sue Fitzmaurice
  3. There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go. ~Jessica Hatchigan
  4. Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history but not a part of your destiny. ~Steve Maraboli
  5. Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There’s nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It’s not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love? ~Leo Buscaglia
  6. Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. ~Deborah Reber
  7. It’s hard to be clear about who you are when you are carrying around a bunch of baggage from the past. I’ve learned to let go and move more quickly into the next place. ~Angelina Jolie
  8. There’s a trick to the graceful exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over and then to let go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its value. ~Ellen Goodman
  9. Change can be good but it’s always tough to let go of the past. ~Emily Giffi
  10. I’m guilty of giving people more chances than they deserve but when I’m done, I’m done. ~Turcois Ominek
  11. You can meet someone who’s just right but he might not be meant for you. You break up; you lose things; you never feel the same again. But maybe you should stop questioning why. Maybe you should just accept it and move on. ~Winna Efendi
  12. Sometimes the door closes on a relationship, not because we failed but because something bigger than us says this no longer fits our life. So, lock the door, shed a tear, turn around and look for the new door that’s opened. It’s a sign that you’re no longer that person you were, it’s time to change into who you are. It’s going to be okay. ~Lee Goff
  13. No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on. ~Alexandra Elle
  14. Letting go of someone we love is the hardest thing we will ever do. Some people never surrender to love for the fear of being hurt. But to not have loved, to not have felt the immense joy it brings, would have been a far worse kind of death. ~Goldie Hawn
  15. It is by giving the freedom to the other that is by letting go, we gain our own freedom back. ~Aleksandra Ninkovic
  16. Accept the fact that you will grow apart from people you’ve had significant relationships with. Understand when someone no longer positively affects your life. Let them go. Don’t hinder your growth. ~Author Unknown
  17. If someone doesn’t care to accept you, respect you, believe in you, don’t hesitate to move on and let them go. There are many who love and appreciate you just the way you are. ~Amaka Imani Nkosazana
  18. You really don’t have to burn any bridges to let go. You don’t have to destroy anything. You can just decide to cross over and move on. ~Marta Mrotek
  19. Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn’t take a day, it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self. ~Tere Arigo
  20. The bottom line is this; when one person stops being a part of your life, another one will come, and fill that empty space. Leave the ones who left in the past, right where they belong, and never look back. ~Ena Snow
  21. Just because someone has been in your life for many years, doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be a point at which you finally decide to let go. ~Wilfred James Dolor

Were these thought-provoking quotes about letting go interesting to you? If you found them interesting then perhaps they might interest others you know too. Please share them with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins.

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15 Really Bad Jokes: So Bad They’re Funny

Here are 15 really bad jokes that will make you cringe and make you smile simultaneously. They really are so bad they’re funny. Certainly they made me smile.

  • Cashier in store: “Would you like the milk in a bag”?
  • Man: “No, just leave it in the carton”.
  • Man in bookstore: Where is the Self Help section please?
  • Saleswoman: If I told that sir it would defeat the purpose.
  • Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
  • In case he gets a hole in one!
  • How do you make holy water?
  • You boil the hell out of it.
  • What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
  • Nothing, they just waved.
  • Who’s the king of the classroom?
  • The Ruler!
  • What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they were married?
  • Feyoncé!
  • Why can’t zoo animals take tests?
  • There are too many cheetahs!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award?
  • Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth?
  • Someday my prints will come.
  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
  • Great food but no atmosphere!
  • How many apples grow on a tree?
  • All of them!
  • How do think the unthinkable?
  • With an itheberg!
  • What do you call a blind dinosaur?
  • Doyouthinkhesaurus
  • What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
  • It goes back four seconds!

Having read these bad jokes you may feel like you can still use a good laugh. If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you. And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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15 Quotes by Dr Laura Schlessinger

For anyone unfamiliar with her work, Dr Laura Schlessinger is an American talk radio host, commentator and author. Her radio show consists mainly of her responses to callers’ requests for personal advice. Her presentation style is a tough love, no nonsense approach, which means to some people she can be seen as controversial. Certainly she’s a social conservative and even her own website says that her show preaches, teaches and nags about morals, values and ethics. Nevertheless she has a loyal following and many people around the world listen to her via her podcasts. Here are 15 quotes by Dr Laura Schlessinger which I think reflect her approach. You can judge for yourself whether it’s an approach that would appeal to you dear reader.

  1. It doesn’t matter how we were raised. We become the person we choose to be. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  2. In the end analysis, all we have is who we are and the way we have lived our lives. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  3. The ultimate quality of your life is not in your resumé, but in the minds and hearts of those you mean something to because you gave yourself to them. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  4. You’ve touched people and known it. You’ve touched people and you may never know it. Either way, you have something to give. It’s in giving to one another that each of our lives becomes meaningful. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  5. A woman should always be more concerned with standing up for what is right than making sure everyone likes her. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  6. Don’t worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  7. Because it’s possible to do and you have the right to do it, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  8. We as human beings should wish to be loved and embraced for our character, respected and relied on for our courage, and trusted for our conscience. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  9. The people and circumstances around me do not make me what I am, they reveal who I am. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  10. There’s no battered woman alive who didn’t know in advance that the man was bad. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  11. Men are very easy to get along with they just want to come home to something pleasant. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  12. There are so many responsible, nice, kind guys out there. Why marry a fixer-upper? ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  13. People with integrity do what they say they’re going to do. Others have excuses. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  14. Postponing happiness until all your ducks are in order means never because life is not that clean, fair or predictable. It isn’t what happens to you that defines your life, it’s what you do with it that does. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger
  15. Self-esteem must be earned! When you dare to dream, dare to follow that dream, dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self-doubts, and friction from the world, you will genuinely impress yourself. ~Dr Laura Schlessinger

If these quotes did appeal to you then you might want to explore Dr Laura’s work further. If that’s the case then you’ll find all you need to know on her website. And you can check that out if you just CLICK HERE.

The link to Dr Laura’s website has been provided only as a service to readers. In doing so, nothing is gained financially.

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15 Quotes by Dr Joy Browne

For anyone unfamiliar with her work, the late Dr Joy Browne was an American psychologist and talk show host who specialized in on-air advice counselling. She hosted a nationally syndicated call-in radio talk show for several decades, providing advice to callers and words of wisdom to her listen. Her shows achieved worldwide reach via podcasts. She had a legion of loyal fans who were devastated when she passed away suddenly in August 2016. Here are 15 quotes by Dr Joy Browne to illustrate why I believe she was an inspiration.

  1. Stupid and cheerful beats smart but angry. ~Dr Joy Browne
  2. Friendship is a relationship between equals. ~Dr Joy Browne
  3. You can only help someone who wants to be helped. ~Dr Joy Browne
  4. If you’re going to have to deal with it sooner or later then sooner is better than later. ~Dr Joy Browne
  5. Appearing to be reasonable is usually more important than being reasonable. ~Dr Joy Browne
  6. Being in a relationship that makes you unhappy is a bad idea. ~Dr Joy Browne
  7. You don’t need a reason to divorce someone you can’t stand. ~Dr Joy Browne
  8. The person who cares least about the relationship controls it. ~Dr Joy Browne
  9. Our feelings are not our responsibility but our behaviour is. ~Dr Joy Browne
  10. If we give up the notion that everybody’s life is perfect but ours, we would be a lot happier. Nobody’s life is perfect. ~Dr Joy Browne
  11. The role of parents is not to do for our children but to teach our children to do for themselves. ~Dr Joy Browne
  12. Good parenting helps our kids to walk away from us and not to depend on us. ~Dr Joy Browne
  13. Kids have to make their own mistakes because anything we tell them, even if it’s right isn’t as valuable as what they learn from doing something, even if it’s wrong. ~Dr Joy Browne
  14. If someone is being difficult, what you do is walk away because either they need some time to sort it out, and you can’t do it for them, or they don’t. If they don’t, well you might as well leave with your dignity intact. You can’t make someone love you, you really can’t. ~Dr Joy Browne
  15. The only behaviour we can ever control in this life, as much as we can control anything, is our own. Not anyone else’s. ~Dr Joy Browne

I hope you were inspired by at least some of these quotes dear reader and perhaps you’d like to explore some of her work further. An example of her on-air counselling is included here as an embedded YouTube video. This is well worth your time.

Also Dr Joy Browne’s website is still available and you can explore this by clicking on the link.

If this example from YouTube appealed to you then you can still listen to her podcasts here at TuneIn.com. Just click on this link and explore the possibilities.

However if you enjoyed the quotes but wish to go no further, then please just share them with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

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15 Quotes by Maya Angelou

If you’re unfamiliar with the late Maya Angelou, she was an American poet, writer and civil rights activist. She’s published numerous autobiographies, books of essays, books of poetry and was credited with a list of plays, movies and television shows spanning over 50 years. For me she was an inspiring thinker and I admire her work. Here are 15 quotes by Maya Angelou to illustrate why I think she was an inspiration to us all.

  1. Nothing will work unless you do. ~Maya Angelou
  2. All great achievements require time. ~Maya Angelou
  3. My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. ~Maya Angelou
  4. Whatever you want to do, if you want to be great at it, you have to love it and be able to make sacrifices for it. ~Maya Angelou
  5. We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated. ~Maya Angelou
  6. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. ~Maya Angelou
  7. If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love. ~Maya Angelou
  8. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. ~Maya Angelou
  9. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~Maya Angelou
  10. A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim. ~Maya Angelou
  11. You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. ~Maya Angelou
  12. I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side, be an advocate for myself and others like me. ~Maya Angelou
  13. Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning. ~Maya Angelou
  14. I’m convinced of this: Good done anywhere is good done everywhere. For a change, start by speaking to people rather than walking by them like they’re stones that don’t matter. As long as you’re breathing, it’s never too late to do some good. ~Maya Angelou
  15. The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. ~Maya Angelou

Did you find any of these quotes by Maya Angelou inspirational? You did? I hope so. If that’s the case then please share then with your friends on social media. When you share everyone wins.

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15 Quotes by Oprah Winfrey

True fame implies universal recognition. And there are few more famous people than Oprah Winfrey. She needs no introduction really but for anyone who’s spent the past 25 years living life in complete seclusion, she’s an American media proprietor, talk show host, actress, producer and philanthropist. She’s a very smart lady and one who would be regarded as successful by any measure. And it’s worth listening to successful people, so here are 15 quotes by Oprah Winfrey. Plenty of good advice here I’m sure you’ll agree.

  1. Don’t let people talk you into what they think is you. ~Oprah Winfrey
  2. You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it. ~Oprah Winfrey
  3. Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. ~Oprah Winfrey
  4. Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself. ~Oprah Winfrey
  5. Even if you flippin’ fries at McDonald’s, if you are excellent, everybody wants to be in your line. ~Oprah Winfrey
  6. Whatever has happened to you in your past has no power over this present moment, because life is now. ~Oprah Winfrey
  7. My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with. ~Oprah Winfrey
  8. Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher. ~Oprah Winfrey
  9. Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. ~Oprah Winfrey
  10. Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. ~Oprah Winfrey
  11. The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude. ~Oprah Winfrey
  12. Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. ~Oprah Winfrey
  13. The challenge of life, I have found, is to build a resume that doesn’t simply tell a story about what you want to be, but it’s a story about who you want to be. ~Oprah Winfrey
  14. The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free. ~Oprah Winfrey
  15. You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once. ~Oprah Winfrey

Did you find these quotes by Oprah Winfrey inspirational? You did? I hope so. If that’s the case then please share then with your friends on social media. When you share everyone wins.

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