5 ways to kill your dreams

05/15/2025 by

Today, I want to explore the 5 ways to kill your dreams if you’re not careful.

I’m sure you must have dreams and goals, dear reader. After all, most people do. However, how often do people fail to realise their dreams? How often do dreams and projects simply never happen? Why is that?

Well, in the thought-provoking TED video included here, Bel Pesce suggests how not to follow your dreams. She gives five reasons why you’ll fail if you adopt the wrong approach.

Bel Pesce’s observations relate to the beliefs people hold about how success is achieved. In her view, those erroneous beliefs are as follows:

5 WAYS TO KILL YOUR DREAMS
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5 ways to kill your dreams:

1. Believe in overnight success

We see someone successful, but we don’t see their backstory. Although they appear to have gained their success overnight, it was due to years of hard work mastering their craft first.

No one succeeds without years of hard work first. Nothing happens by accident. It’s all down to determination, grit, and an insatiable desire for success.

Opportunity may come overnight, but you have to be well-prepared to grab that opportunity when you see it. Being prepared means mastering your craft.

2. Believe someone else has the answers for you

It’s your life, and no one else knows you and your life better than you.

You need to find your own way, in your own time. In finding a way, it must be a way that suits you well and one with which you feel truly comfortable.

No one else has the perfect answers that will be a good fit with your life.

3. Believe you can settle when growth is guaranteed

It can be amazing just how many people will stop and settle once they’ve reached a goal they’d set for themselves. They get to a point where they think, it’s OK now.

And yet, OK is never OK.

When you reach a peak, you must find the next peak if you are to continue to grow and sustain success.

4. Believe the fault is down to someone else

If you have a dream, it’s all down to you to find a way to make it happen. You find a way, or you make a way. And you never accept “No” for an answer, unless, of course, that was the answer you wanted.

The key message is it’s all down to you. If you fail to achieve your dream, then it’s your fault, and no one else is to blame. Simple!

5. Believe the only things that matter are the dreams themselves

Having a goal is important, but life is not just about goals.

Life is a journey with a constant stream of experiences and interactions with other people along the way.

The real fun is in the participation. Achievement is just a bonus.

Achievement is a momentary experience, but life is not. Life goes on beyond the moment.

Dreams and goals in perspective:

If you’re driven by your dreams, then I recommend that you listen to what Bel Pesce has to say. It might just save you some heartache.

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How will your life be measured? Here’s what matters most

05/11/2025 by

How will your life be measured? A philosophical question, perhaps, but an interesting one nevertheless.

Some time ago, I attended the funeral of someone whom I’d known quite well professionally but not at all socially. Someone I liked and respected, but I wouldn’t claim to have known them well overall. Nevertheless, funerals are a time to reflect on someone’s life. A time to consider the impact they’ve had on other people throughout their lives.

The funeral service was held at a large, traditional church in London, and it was crowded.

Listening to the eulogy and associated readings, I began to appreciate how much my late colleague had meant to so many people. It’s fair to say that she meant a lot to many people. The lives of so many people had clearly been blessed by her presence in them.

This experience made me think.

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So in life, what matters most?

As human beings, we’re all driven to achieve and leave our mark on life before we pass on.

However, we do tend to measure our impact on life in terms of careers and money. With those things, it’s fairly easy to keep score, wouldn’t you agree, dear reader?

Careers provide tangible evidence of achievement, or so it seems.

So, climbing the greasy pole and increasing our wealth tend to be the measures we use when we consider the idea of success. Nevertheless, as I sat there listening that day, I had to ask myself, are these things the most appropriate measure of the lives we lead?

Anything we do that only has a long-term payoff, we tend not to measure because there’s no immediate evidence of achievement. We can’t see the immediate impact of the small things we do, so we don’t believe they matter much.

However, I realized that day that they do matter. They matter a great deal.

It’s all in the little things we do:

A random act of kindness might not mean much to us, but to the recipient of our action, it could mean the world. It could have had a profound effect on that individual. And it might prove to be a life-changing experience for that person.

So, how will any of us be remembered?

When our lives have passed, how will they talk about us at our funerals?

People won’t talk about the size of our house or our car, but they will talk about how we made them feel. They won’t talk about the importance of our jobs, but they will mention how we helped them at a difficult time in their lives.

Perhaps they’ll talk about how we mentored them and how they’re a better person because of the impact we had on their lives. Maybe they’ll say they enjoyed our company, and they’ll talk about how they looked forward to seeing us whenever we were around. Perhaps they’ll just mention how we made them smile.

When you think about it, why would we want to be remembered in any other way?

Material possessions are meaningless:

Let’s face it, material possessions are meaningless. Equally successful careers are as much a reflection of good fortune as they are of anything we did to justify them.

That’s not the case when it comes to the impact we have on the lives of others.

The help we give and the kindness we show are all down to us and our actions day-to-day.

So, how many people we’ve helped seems to me like a much better measure of success than the size of the car we drive or the size of the house in which we live.

Real success in life comes down to the difference we make. How we’ve touched the lives of other people.

Certainly, that’s how I think we’ll be remembered by those who knew us, however much we’re focused on careers, money, and material possessions.

How great would it be to be remembered fondly and with respect by all who crossed our paths during our lives?

How will your life be measured?

I remembered my thoughts that day at the funeral when I stumbled upon this video of a presentation given by Clay Christensen at TEDxBoston.

It offers a great perspective on how your life will be measured.

I recommend you watch this video, as it’s well worth a little bit of your time.

And after you’ve watched it, I would suggest you reflect on this question:

Should the measure of our lives be just about money and achievement, or should it be more about the lives we’ve touched and the people whose lives are better for us having been in them?

How do you want to be remembered, dear reader?

For me, life’s measure should be in terms of how I’ve touched the lives of other people and not money, career, and the size of my house.

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Thank you.

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35 one-liners about life that will raise a smile

05/01/2025 by

I love one-liners about life. The one I love most has to be the following:

“Life? Don’t talk to me about life!”

Older readers may remember that this was the expression made famous by Marvin the Paranoid Android in Douglas Adams’ classic novel, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

I’m sure we’ve all shared Marvin’s sentiment occasionally when we experience life’s more challenging moments.

However positive we are, life can get the better of us sometimes.

So here are some one-liners about life that are guaranteed to raise a smile or two, as I’m sure at least some of them will resonate with readers.

Life can be absurd at times, and it’s difficult on occasions to believe the evidence of our own eyes and ears.

Nevertheless, our aim must be to remain positive, and to do that, we must learn to laugh at life and ourselves.

Don’t take it all too seriously.

Just laugh as much as you can, and that is the perfect counterbalance to life’s absurdities.

Start now by laughing at all these one-liners, which I’ve collected together to amuse and entertain you, dear reader.

ONE-LINERS ABOUT LIFE
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One-liners about life (1-20):

  1. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  2. Life is a terminal disease.
  3. Youth is wasted on the young.
  4. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
  5. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  6. It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.
  7. We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.
  8. Being a hypochondriac could save your life one of these days.
  9. Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.
  10. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  11. I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
  12. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
  13. I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
  14. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  15. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
  16. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
  17. Just because a road’s well-trodden doesn’t mean it leads anywhere worth going.
  18. As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else.
  19. Stealing ideas from one person is plagiarism but stealing ideas from many people is research.
  20. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

One-liners about life (21-35):

  1. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than the police.
  2. You might as well laugh at your problems because everyone else does.
  3. God must love stupid people because he made so many of them.
  4. Dolphins are so smart they can train people to stand at the edge of the pool and throw fish at them.
  5. If I was doin’ any better, I’d have to hire someone to help me enjoy it!
  6. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
  7. How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
  8. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  9. I thought I wanted a career but I realize now that I just wanted a decent income.
  10. Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
  11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they’re sexy.
  12. Why is it that most nudists are people you wouldn’t want to see naked?
  13. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.
  14. Some people will appreciate it others will be irritated by it. Either way, you win.
  15. The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.

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So, dear reader, did any of these one-liners about life make you smile?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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3 Essential life lessons learned you should know

04/14/2025 by

Many regular readers will be familiar with the essential life lessons learned that I’ve included here today. However, that won’t be true for everyone, I’m sure. It all comes down to experience, wouldn’t you agree?

Well, dear reader, please don’t feel that you must make every mistake yourself to learn. It’s acceptable to learn from others, too.

These essential life lessons learned can shape our perspectives and guide our decisions.

Learning directly from the mistakes of others is a perfectly valid strategy. You can also listen to and learn from lessons others have learned the hard way.

There’s no finer education than the University of Life, School of Hard Knocks.

So, allow me to offer you three essential life lessons learned that you’d do well to bear in mind.

Life's Lessons Learned
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3 Essential life lessons learned:

1. Money can’t make you happy:

If you’re not happy without money, then having money won’t change how you feel about yourself.

We experience happiness not through the things we purchase but through our philosophy as well as our relationships with other people. Human beings are social animals, and we all need other people.

If you want to be happy, you must never lose sight of the most important people in your life, i.e. family and friends.

Spend time with them and enjoy their company, especially your children. Make the most of every minute you have with your loved ones.

Yes, of course, go out there and make some money. I’m not suggesting money doesn’t matter because it does. It’s up there with oxygen for sustaining a life worth living.

So you must manage your money carefully and invest some of it too.

Enjoy some of your money, of course, and buy nice things occasionally too. Life’s too short not to enjoy at least some of your hard-earned cash from time to time.

However, never focus on money and work to the exclusion of your family and friends. Without them, you have nothing. Money is important, but the people in your life are far more important.

You could have all the money in the world, but without your friends and loved ones, you’d have nothing at all.

2. Life is too short to do a job you hate:

You should never do anything for money alone.

Yes, you need an income, and yes, it’s nice to have plenty of money in your pocket. Let’s face it; we’d all like to have plenty of money, wouldn’t we? That’s human nature.

However, no amount of money will compensate you for the drudgery of doing a job you hate.

If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, you won’t do it well. And if you don’t do it well, eventually you’ll come unstuck. It will all end in tears. Now, is that really what you want, dear reader?

Remember this also: one day, you will die. You’re not going to live forever, nor would you want to.

What a shame it would be if on your deathbed you felt you’d completely wasted your life. Now, how bad would that be?

So find a job you enjoy.

That is important. You’ll spend one-third of your life at work, and that’s a long time to be doing something you hate.

Yes, there will be aspects of every job that you might find tedious or frustrating. However, it’s important to find something that you mostly enjoy.

And if you haven’t found that job you love yet? Then just keep looking until you find something you’d do for free if you couldn’t earn a living at it.

When it comes to a job, money shouldn’t be your primary focus. Find the right job; do it well; add real value, and the money will follow, all in good time.

3. Greed can lead to expensive mistakes:

There’s a classic telephone scam, which never fails to catch some people out.

The way it works is a salesman or woman working in a ‘boiler room’ somewhere offshore calls you with an offer for you to purchase an asset at a price which they’ll tell you will guarantee you an enormous profit.

It might be stocks and shares, or it might be plots of land in some faraway place, but the underlying message is always the same.

Essentially, they’ll tell you that next to no one knows about the availability of this asset just yet, but when they do, the price of the asset will go through the roof and just keep on heading in an upward direction.

They’ll tell you that whatever they have to offer is a steal and that you have the opportunity to get in on the ground floor and make an absolute killing, but you have to buy today or you’ll miss out.

The salespeople always sound friendly and very plausible, and they’ll make it all sound very professional. They’ll even take a little time to make you feel that, really, they’re trustworthy.

This scam plays on our greed and our gullibility.

We believe what we’re being told because we want to believe it. We just love the idea that we might get something for nothing, too.

However, if you part with your money when presented with such an offer, that‘s the last you’ll see of it.

The asset will be worthless or even non-existent. You’ll have been scammed.

Furthermore, if you’re foolish enough to buy, you’ll also be put on a ‘sucker list’ which means you’ll get inundated with similar calls from other high-pressure salespeople offering similar ‘deals‘.

In reality, any deal that sounds too good to be true will always prove to be too good to be true.

There’s no easy money to be had anywhere. Take that from someone who’s spent a lot of time looking.

And anyway, think about it: if it was that good a deal, why would they be telling you?

If there was a killing to be made, they’d simply invest their own money and bag the ‘profit’ for themselves, surely?

Never allow yourself to fall for it.

And never, ever allow yourself to be bounced into buying anything just because they tell you that this deal is only available today.

In sales language, that’s known as a ‘call to action‘. It’s the oldest sales trick in the sales handbook.

The idea is to bounce you into making a purchasing decision before you have time to think it all through properly.

Don’t be a mug, and don’t be foolish enough to line other people’s pockets at your own expense. As the old saying goes:

Invest in haste, repent at leisure.

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Absolutely guaranteed secret to success

04/13/2025 by

Looking for the secret to success, dear reader? You’re not alone. So many people seek the secret, but very few find it.

Well, here’s Barbara Sher with some common-sense observations about life and success.

This is just part of a presentation she gave at the “Big, Cheap Weekend Workshop” in New York in July 2010. So it’s a decade ago now, but her observations are timeless, and they’re just as valid today as they were back then.

This video essentially is a ‘taster,’ but if you’re not familiar with Barbara’s work, then it might inspire you to check out her other videos on YouTube and indeed her public appearances, should she appear at a venue near you.

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The secret to success:

The Power of Personal Responsibility

Now here are my thoughts on success.

I believe that personal responsibility is the key to success.

If you’re drifting and waiting in the hope that something will happen? Let me tell you, it won’t.

Well, not unless you’re lucky and just happen to be in the right place, at the right time, with the right thing someone needs.

For most of us, that’s never going to happen.

For almost everyone, we must make things happen ourselves.

Let me share a secret with you. The magic ingredient to achieving your dreams isn’t luck or some mystical force. It’s you.

It’s all about you grabbing the ball and running with it.

What do I mean?

I mean, you must embrace the power of personal responsibility.

You are the captain of your ship, sailing through the sea of life. You can steer your ship anywhere you want it to go.

Yes, there will be storms and occasionally calmer waters, but ultimately, you decide which way to steer your ship.

Personal responsibility is about acknowledging that your choices, big and small, are the compass guiding your journey to wherever you’re going.

You must decide what it is you want out of life. You must decide the lifestyle you’d prefer to live. And you must work out how to get it.

Once you know where you’re going, you must set yourself some goals.

And then you must pursue those goals with determination and a willingness to work hard to achieve them.

Nothing worth having ever comes easy.

We all make choices in life, all the time, and we must accept the consequences of those choices.

In short, we must take responsibility for those choices, and if we pursue good choices, they should lead to the best outcomes for us.

If you embrace personal responsibility and stop making excuses, you will start to make progress towards the life you want.

If you become proactive rather than reactive, you will be knowingly steering the good ship “You” in the direction of your desired destination.

Today’s choices shape tomorrow’s outcomes. It’s that simple.

So, are you ready to take the helm?

Are you ready to grasp the personal power you have and own your journey to success?

It won’t always be easy, but at least it will be yours.

Trust me, the feeling of achieving something because you made it happen is amazing, and you won’t regret it.

So, embrace personal responsibility and achieve your full potential.

You can do it! It won’t be easy, but it can be done, and people do. So can you!

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Have the courage to step out of your comfort zone

04/03/2025 by

If your aim is growth and achievement, then playing it safe is unlikely to be the right strategy for you. You must face your fears, dear reader. You must have the courage to step out of your comfort zone because we grow by taking on challenges throughout our lives.

Overcoming challenges is always at the heart of any achievement worthy of note.

A life worth living is a life where you feel fully engaged.

To feel energized and engaged with life, you must stretch yourself to the limits of your potential.

Needless to say, you can only find the limits of your potential if you step out of your comfort zone.

Step out of your comfort zone

Sadly, many people, if not most, never dare to step outside their comfort zone. They prefer to live where they feel safe.

Staying within your comfort zone is fine, of course, if that’s what you want, but you can’t call it living, can you? It’s existing, perhaps, but not living, I think.

You cannot grow from within the safety of your comfort zone. That’s simply a fact.

You’ll find that life begins to have a real buzz when you take the first step beyond your comfort zone. That’s what you might call living on the edge.

Inevitably, it’s scary, of course, but you do begin to feel energized. It’s where you’ll feel a real sense of exhilaration.

Yes, of course, it involves risk; that’s true. However, risk and reward go hand in hand. No risk; no reward.

Stepping outside your comfort zone doesn’t guarantee success, and of course, you might still fail. You’ll certainly experience some failures along the way, because everyone does.

Experiencing failures is an inevitable part of chasing success because success lies on the far side of failure. However, to get to second base and beyond, you must be prepared to take your foot off first base.

Successful people don’t always make the right decisions. However, they’re willing to challenge themselves, and they’re willing to persist long after everyone else has given up. They may fail, but they learn from failure, and they use what they’ve learned to work towards achieving their goals.

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You have enormous potential:

Dear reader, let me tell you something. You have enormous potential, and you can achieve anything if you want it badly enough and you’re prepared to work hard for it.

Certainly, you’re capable of achieving great things.

However, you must set challenging goals, and you must be prepared to step out of your comfort zone. If you can face that discomfort and keep on going, then you really can become the person you’re destined to be.

It’s easier to stay within your comfort zone, of course, and you’ll feel safe that way, but nothing beats the feeling of winning and achieving those challenging goals you’ve set yourself. A life of safety first can be dull.

If every obstacle must first be overcome before you start, then you’ll never achieve anything.

Playing it safe is a bigger risk than stepping beyond your comfort zone.

By playing it safe, you take the risk that you’ll never experience the satisfaction of real achievement. And it’s always better to try and fail than it is to spend your life wondering what might have been.

Stepping beyond your comfort zone means embracing uncertainty, of course. However, the quality of your life will depend on the amount of uncertainty you can bear.

So go on, live a little.

Step out of your comfort zone right now and take that tiger for a ride. You’ll be glad you did.

Building the courage to step out of your comfort zone:

To reinforce the message in today’s theme, you might find the embedded video from Brian Tracy inspiring.

In it, Brian offers some wise words on building the courage to break out of your comfort zone. It’s well worth your time, and I recommend it to you.

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9 tips for getting the most from your work

04/01/2025 by

If you’re wondering about getting the most from your work, this post is for you.

So, do you feel valued by your employer, dear reader? Now think about that question for a second or two.

I’m sure you’re aware that companies are very good at circulating messages which include platitudes such as, “Our employees are our most important asset,” or  “We value our employees.”  I’m sure you’ll be familiar with such pronouncements.

However, you must ask yourself whether they mean it, surely?

Well, few do, if any, in my experience.

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Now let’s be fair:

To be fair, many employers think they mean it when such messages are circulated to the workforce.

Staff in the Human Resources department are probably well-intentioned when they issue such statements.

Nevertheless, the reality for the employee is almost always quite different, however right on and trendy an employer tries to be.

Rarely are employees valued by their employer. Usually they’re seen as replaceable or can be dispensed with as needs dictate.

What does it mean for you?

Most companies regard people as a commodity to be used when they’re useful and then discarded when they’re perceived to be no longer of use.

Not a comfortable thought, possibly, but true nevertheless.

So, what does this all mean for you?

Well, for a start, it means that you have to look after your own interests.

If you don’t look after your own interests, then I can assure you that no one else will.

If you think someone, somewhere, is thinking about your best interests, then, with the exception of your parents, that’s very unlikely at best.

It’s all down to you to get the most from your job, your career, and your life.

It’s your responsibility:

You must decide what you want; you must decide where and how you can add the greatest value; you must decide what’s the next logical move for you, in pursuit of your goals; and you must decide on the timing of when it’s appropriate to move on to the next challenge.

Occasionally, you might get lucky and a great opportunity will fall straight into your lap. However, that doesn’t happen often, if at all.

Remember that you are the captain of your own ship.

So you decide where it goes and you must steer it accordingly.

It would be a mistake to rely on others to plan your career, quite simply because they won’t, and it would be naïve to think otherwise.

So, here are 9 tips for getting the most from work:

Getting the most from your work:

1. Take a pragmatic view:

Now, reading this, you might think that I have a jaundiced view of companies and corporate life.

I don’t. This is simply a realistic and pragmatic view based on many years of experience.

I understand why companies do what they do from a commercial standpoint

Work is just doing stuff for other people in return for money.

If a company has stuff that needs doing, they are willing to pay good money to get it done.

However once that work’s been done, or is no longer required, employers see no reason to retain people. Why would they? After all, they’re in business to make money.

So be realistic and take a pragmatic view. That way you won’t be disappointed.

2. Recognise the psychological contract:

Once again, we must be fair. The company’s approach is no different from the one we would take as individuals.

If we need our house painting, we hire a painter and decorator. Our house gets painted, and when the job’s been done, we pay the painter for the work completed.

We don’t start worrying about the painter’s job satisfaction or career development. The psychological contract between us and the painter ends when the bill has been settled for the work completed. That’s the way it is. It’s that simple.

So why should we expect our employers to be any different?

Companies are not charities or job creation schemes. Commercial companies have to make a profit if they’re to grow and survive, and costs have an impact on profit, obviously.

The psychological contract we have with our employer is one where we do stuff for them and then we’re paid for our efforts at the end of each month.

We’re the hired help, and once we’ve been paid that’s where the psychological contract ends as far as our employer is concerned.

Your employer will not spend time worrying about your aspirations or your dreams. Once again, it would be naïve to think otherwise.

3. Accept commercial reality:

Commercial reality, whether we like it or not, is that all companies exist to make money for their owners. It’s that simple. Why would anyone start a company for any other reason?

So if you think that your loyalty will be appreciated by the average employer, I think you’re either mistaken or deluded.

Individual managers might value your presence in the team, of course, but the people at the top of the organisation have to be much tougher and businesslike in their approach, as they’re ultimately accountable for the performance of the business.

Employers will take everything you give and a bit more besides, but once you’re no longer required, they will be as ruthless as they have to be. If it’s their survival versus your career aspirations, there’s only one outcome, and it will have nothing to do with your aspirations.

If they weren’t able to be ruthless when necessary, then that could put the whole company and the jobs of everyone involved at risk. So there’s a good business reason for the way companies tend to operate.

Furthermore, ordinary people don’t spend their money unnecessarily, so why should we expect a company to be any different?

Occasionally, you’ll meet leaders of real stature and class who will treat you very well. However, they’re the exception rather than the rule.

Most senior executives are driven only by self-interest, in my experience. Once you’re no longer of use, they will be as ruthless as they have to be. That’s how the world works, so don’t expect it to be any different for you.

4. Don’t expect loyalty to be reciprocated:

The point I’m making here is that you must be ruthless too. You must look after your own interests, constantly.

It’s perfectly reasonable for you to be working with your own agenda in mind. Deliver the results for which you’re being paid, of course, but always with one eye on your own best interests.

In any job you should make sure that you know what you’re meant to be doing and what you’re meant to be delivering too.

What you’re delivering must add value. You should know what that value is, and you should be confident that it’s not something that can be done by a machine. If it is, then the chances are that one day it will be and you will be out of a job.

Never do anything out of a misplaced sense of loyalty because that loyalty is unlikely to be reciprocated. At work, you have to be very businesslike in everything you do.

For you, the name of the game is earning a living. If it’s not obvious to you what your contribution is meant to be, you should start to worry. And if you cannot explain what you’re meant to be doing in a couple of lines, then it’s time to move on.

If you don’t know what you’re meant to be doing, chances are that your boss is wondering too. And once your boss starts to question your role, there is a risk that it won’t be too long before your job is eliminated in a future cost-saving exercise.

5. Look after your own interests:

Remember this:

No one owes you anything

Life is what you make it.

As I said earlier, you’re the captain of your own ship.

You should be steering that ship in a direction that suits you and your ambitions. Steer the good ship ‘Me’ in the direction you wish to go and not in the direction someone else wants you to go.

You should be following your agenda, and within the framework of your plans.

If you think your employer has plans for you, you’re fooling yourself.

You will only figure in your employer’s plans for as long as it makes good business sense for them to include you in those plans.

If they can’t see how you’ll add value to their plans, then a parting of the ways might not be far away.

6. Take every opportunity to gain experience:

You may make mistakes occasionally, and you may do things for employers that, for whatever reason, come back to bite you. If you do, don’t worry. Just learn any lessons from the experience and move on.

Lessons learned are far more valuable to you than anything someone else can tell you. The commodity, based on life’s lessons, is known as experience, and experience gained is a valuable commodity.

Take every opportunity to broaden your experience and grow.

Take on every challenge that comes your way. However daunting a challenge might seem, it will be a learning opportunity through which you’ll grow. View such opportunities positively and don’t be afraid to put yourself forward. You can do it and you’ll be a better person for it.

The message here:

Work harder on yourself than you do on your job

The more experience and know-how you have to offer, the more employable you’ll be and the greater will be your financial rewards.

7. Have realistic expectations:

Never expect loyalty from your employer, and you won’t be disappointed.

You’re not indispensable, and neither is anyone else. If you were to die tomorrow, you’d be replaced in a heartbeat, and the company would get along fine without you.

If you weren’t around, someone else would be hired quickly, and the business would move on. And in all probability, you’ll soon be forgotten.

The chances are that someone else will take the credit for any significant contribution you’ve made, but you’ll probably take the blame for everything wrong, including things in which you had no involvement at all.

That’s life, unfortunately.

8. Work to your own agenda:

If you make sure you look after your own interests, then your achievements will be all yours and you’ll be on the road to success.

You have to carve out the success you want; no one else will do it for you.

Add real value to your employer for as long as you can or for as long as it makes sense within your own plans for you to do so, and then it’s time to move on to the next challenge.

Don’t get overly sentimental; you’ve got to be as ruthless with your employer as they would be with you. It’s perfectly reasonable to work to your own agenda, and that’s exactly what successful people do.

9. Keep reading; keep learning:

Never underestimate the value of reading and continual learning.

The more you read, the more you’ll learn, and the more you learn the greater will be your value.

Read one good book related to your work or personal development each week, and over a yea,r that’s the equivalent of a PhD‘s worth of knowledge gained.

Increase your knowledge by that amount every year, and you’ll be light years ahead of your colleagues.

Increase your knowledge and skills, and you’ll increase your ability to add value. Add more value and you’ll earn more. And what’s not to like about that?

So, make sure you allocate at least 30 minutes per day for your reading, and more time if possible.

Conclusion:

Appreciate the opportunity an employer gives you. Be grateful you have a job and an income.

However, never be overly sentimental, nor show misplaced loyalty to an employer. An employer must be businesslike and so must you.

Add value where you can, but look after your own interests, and when it makes sense to do so, move on.

Sensible people will always look after their own interests. It’s perfectly reasonable to have an agenda of your own.

Getting the most from your work is all about adding value, gaining experience, broadening your skills, and moving on to the next challenge when it’s appropriate to do so. Above all, enjoy what you do. Life’s too short to be spending a third of it doing something that doesn’t leave you fulfilled.

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Building personal branding for success

03/30/2025 by

Personal branding for success:

Personal branding says something about you. And personal branding for success is something that you should take seriously if your aim is to be successful.

How you present yourself to the world is being judged all the time, and people will draw conclusions about you based simply on their perception of you and how you look.

That may not seem fair, but in my experience, it’s almost always true. And reputations can often be built largely based on other people’s perception of you.

So, is personal branding something that matters to you, dear reader?

In your opinion, does it matter what you look like, how you dress, how you speak, or what people see in your digital footprint on social media and elsewhere? Certainly, it should do.

What do you think? Does your reputation matter to you?

Perhaps you believe that the only thing that matters is the quality of the work that you do?

If that’s true, then you may not see the need to worry about your personal branding.

However, I can assure you, you really are being judged all of the time, whether you like it or not.

The importance of personal branding:

Think about it for one moment. Now, how often have you walked into an open-plan office area looking for a manager you’ve not met, and yet you have no trouble spotting who he or she is immediately?

You just can’t miss them, can you? There’s just something about them that says, ‘I am the manager!‘ Well, that’s personal branding.

It’s the same thing with social media.

How you conduct yourself within your digital footprint will speak volumes about you, and it will have an impact on how you’re perceived by others.

A silly remark on social media about other people or the latest news can prove very costly and may have implications in future years because it could suggest something about your judgement, or lack of it.

Jobs have been lost and people have been forced to resign over ill-judged comments made on social media, often many years before.

So you have to ask yourself, do I want to be successful in my chosen field?

If you do, then you must ensure that your personal branding is consistent with your ambition. To be the one, you must look like the one in every respect.

You must also promote yourself in the right way at every opportunity.

Self-promotion is important because it’s all about selling yourself and making sure you’re perceived by the world in the way you’d prefer to be perceived.

If you don’t sell yourself and create the right image for yourself, then no one else is going to do it for you, that’s for sure. Constantly working on your personal branding must be part of your strategy for achieving success.

The good news is that with WordPress, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media channels, it’s never been easier to promote yourself, create the right image, build relationships, and tell the world what it is you have to offer.

So the obvious question now is, where do you start on building a personal brand?

Building a personal brand:

In the video below, recorded at TEDxCMU 2011, Jacob Cass presents some interesting and useful ideas as to how you can go about building your personal brand.

This video will provide you with some useful tips and it’s well worth watching.

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The Guy in the Glass and why he really matters

03/24/2025 by

If you’re unfamiliar with the poem “The Guy in the Glass,” dear reader, I recommend you spend a few moments reflecting on it now.

I’m sure you’ll know that life’s not a rehearsal. Whether we like it or not, we’ll live it only once.

It seems obvious to me that we must make the most of our time and try to enjoy every moment. That’s a healthy personal philosophy by which I certainly try to live, most of the time, at least.

Enjoying every single moment is not possible, of course.

There will always be good times, but, inevitably, there will be bad times too.

Let’s face it, you couldn’t appreciate the good times without experiencing a few bad times along the way, could you?

Now, I am a firm believer in the notion that you only get out of life what you put in.

If you drift along with little effort and a lot of unwise choices, then your future is likely to be unexciting at best, unless you get very, very lucky.

Whereas making some effort to realise your full potential; deciding what you want and pursuing your dreams with hard work and determination; this approach is more likely to lead to better life experiences.

Ask yourself this question:

When I’m old and frail and reflecting on years gone by, how will I feel if I’ve wasted those years?

The problem with time is that once it’s gone, it’s gone. You can’t get it back. So, surely time is our most precious resource?

The answers to the above questions matter only to you.

You’re the one who must look at yourself in the mirror each day. You’re the one who must look yourself in the eye.

You may fool other people with tales of what might have been, but you can’t fool yourself.

Deep down, you’ll know whether you tried or not. You’ll know whether you made a lot of choices you wish you hadn’t made. You’ll know whether you cheated yourself. And let’s face it, regret lies at the heart of cheating yourself.

So my advice would be, don’t do it.

When you look in the mirror each day, ask yourself some searching questions:

Are you making the most of your natural talent, whatever that might be?

Are you looking after your body and your mind?

Are you developing habits that will be detrimental to your well-being?

Are you looking after those who matter most to you?

Can you reflect on your life so far with at least some degree of pride and satisfaction?

If you’re getting too many negative answers, then perhaps it’s time for some changes in your life, don’t you think?

Reflecting on today’s idea is what got me thinking about the poem The Guy in the Glass, mentioned above.

This poem is included as part of the process Alcoholics Anonymous uses to help its client base.

However, I think it’s relevant to us all, regardless of whether we’re alcoholics or not. The underlying message is that your behaviour should be consistent with the need we all have to be able to look ourselves in the eye.

It is a thought-provoking verse, and, despite its title, the message applies equally to men and women. The glass is, of course, the mirror on your wall. The poem was written by the late Dale Wimbrow in 1934 for publication in The American Magazine:

Poem: The Guy in the Glass

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13 tips for improving your personal happiness

03/23/2025 by

You’ll be as happy as you choose to be. You might not think so, but that is a fact.

Yes, life can be challenging. Yes, life can be full of frustrations and disappointments. And yes, other people can drive you nuts at times.

No one’s life is perfect and everyone has problems. They’re facts too.

However, your level of personal happiness will be dictated by how you choose to look at life.

You can let life’s challenges make you feel miserable or you can refuse to let anything get you down.

Just say to yourself, I’m going to be happy and nothing is going to stop me.

You’ll find that being happy isn’t as hard as it appears to be at times.

Here are 13 ways that will help you increase your sense of personal happiness and improve your life too:-

Tips for improving your personal happiness

1. Talk to yourself positively:

One of the greatest contributors to unhappiness is what’s going on in our heads.

Everyone is prone to self-doubt and feelings of not being quite good enough.

Everyone worries about being found out in their job.

It’s easy to assume that in some way you’re not very good at what you do and you think eventually someone will notice. Have you had that experience dear reader?

We all struggle to appreciate that we’re actually better than we think we are and that if we really couldn’t do the work for which we are paid, someone would have noticed already and they would have said something.

Negative self-talk can grind you down. So, stop it now.

Replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk.

Tell yourself constantly that you’re better than you think you are and that you have every reason to like yourself.

And adopt this saying as your mantra:

I’m as good as anyone and I will show them all that I’m better than most!

Repeat it to yourself frequently and whenever even the slightest hint of doubt pops into your mind.

2. Value people:

Your social network, i.e. the people with whom you interact, and your relationships are essential to your happiness.

Human beings are social animals. We’re not solitary creatures like cats. We need other people, frustrating as some of them can be at times.

Remember we’re all different. We’re all individuals. So accept people for who they are and what they are. Everyone has many sides to their personalities. No one is perfect.

So look for the good in people and don’t judge their less flattering sides too harshly. Never forget, we all have a less flattering side.

However, keep away from personality clashes and arguments. Let go of any resentment you may feel towards individuals. Just remember they’re not perfect, just like you.

If an argument seems inevitable, seek first to understand and then to be understood.

By understanding the other person’s point of view and why they feel the way they feel, you just might find you get along with them so much better.

And even if after you’ve listened carefully, if you still think they’re wrong, so what?

You can always agree to disagree.

You don’t have to prove you’re right and they’re wrong.

It doesn’t have to be about you proving you’re right all the time.

Peace and harmony are of much greater value to your happiness than being proved right.

So just let it go. 

3. Be grateful:

Being grateful for whatever you have, is an important part of your happiness.

Being thankful is a great attitude to develop.

If you think about it, I’m sure there will be at least as few things for which you can be truly thankful. Simple things like having a laugh with a friend whilst having a coffee or a meal.

They don’t have to be big things.

Little things that put a smile on your face are far more important to your personal happiness than any amount of material possessions.

In fact, material possessions don’t make you happy at all. Mostly the resulting clutter they create is just a source of stress and extra work.

Take the time to thank those people who provide you with even the smallest things. Making a point of saying thank you will help you realize just how abundant your life is in reality. 

4. Avoid doom and gloom:

The media tends to focus on bad news.

Unfortunately, bad news attracts more attention than good news and media channels are focused on ratings. They make money from eyeballs watching and ears listening.

They’re in the business of making money not cheering you up, so they’ll focus on bad news always.

It is a fact that most news is depressing and stressful.

With 24-hour rolling news channels, our lives are filled with a lot of stuff that can fill us with doom and gloom, if we’re not careful.

Watching, listening to, or reading the news will detract from your personal happiness.

So, if the news is just a source of doom and gloom then it’s a good idea to get less of it, don’t you think?

Switch it off and find something else to do that will cheer you up.

5. Manage your time wisely:

Your time is precious and it should be used and managed wisely.

Just because someone expects a piece of your time doesn’t mean they’re entitled to it.

Only you can judge whether they’re worthy of your time. And it’s perfectly reasonable to say “No!” if you think that’s appropriate.

No one has an unlimited amount of time. We all have just 168 hours per week. So we all must make the most of our time because time is far too important to waste.

If someone requests a piece of your time then make sure they have a very good reason to justify it. Otherwise, just say No politely but very firmly.

It’s your life, so live it your way. 

6. Find something to make you laugh:

Let’s face it, life is far too short to be serious all the time.

Occasionally we need to laugh to alleviate our stress levels.

Laughter is the best medicine, or so they say. And I think it’s true. A good laugh can cheer you up.

So make sure you enjoy a good laugh at least once a day. It may be watching a sitcom you love or a funny animal video on YouTube. Whatever puts a smile on your face then that’s fine. You need to smile because it will help you relax.

It may be a funny joke that makes you laugh.

And if that happens, remember to share the joke with family and friends. That way you get to laugh twice. Once when you hear the joke and again when you share it.

Laugh and laugh vigorously every single day. 

7. Say how you feel:

If people matter to you then be sure to let them know occasionally.

Don’t be afraid to communicate your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you.

Being open about your feelings is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength.

It’s a sign that you’re confident enough in yourself to let people know what they mean to you.

It’s a sign that you recognize how important it is for people to know that they matter to you. They’ll appreciate it and that will enhance the bond between you. 

8. Avoid negative emotions:

Pent-up feelings of anger and frustration are bad for your health.

Yes, we all feel angry occasionally but suppressing it is counter-productive.

If you’re not happy about something it’s better to say so.

Occasionally you may need to say so forcefully too. However, never say it in a way that’s mean and hurtful. That’s just being unpleasant.

And if you do say something which you later recognize as mean and hurtful then apologize. Never be afraid, or too proud, to apologize.

You won’t be the first person to say something you later regret but don’t compound the offence but failing to offer a sincere apology.

At the very least that will show you’re big enough to recognize when you’re in the wrong.

If you can learn to express your anger and frustration in a way that will not cause injury or hurt to anyone then you’ll be on the road to being a very decent human being. 

9. Have a sense of purpose:

It’s important to have a sense of purpose.

To work each day at something in which you excel and which gets you out of bed in the morning.

Working hard at something you love can bring you great personal contentment.

Your work is your contribution to society and potentially the legacy you leave behind.

For instance, John Lennon left a wonderful collection of songs that we still listen to today almost 40 years after his death. That’s a fantastic legacy.

Work gives you a sense that you can finish tasks.

Work is a source of satisfaction when you take on a challenge and use your skills and know-how to complete it. In this way, you grow in character.

Through your work, you use your time profitably and when the working day is done you feel you’ve earned your rest and recreation.

Work well done, with a sense of purpose, will make you feel good about yourself. 

10. Never stop learning:

Learning does not finish when you leave school or college. Learning is a lifelong process. And it does not necessarily involve formal tuition.

You can be self-taught and learn by doing.

You can read books and watch instructional DVDs or video tutorials on YouTube.

You can listen to audiobooks and podcasts in your car or whilst travelling on public transport.

So be a committed student and work constantly on being a master of your craft.

Working constantly on achieving mastery will increase the value you can offer in the workplace and it will make you a very attractive proposition in the job market.

Learning is a joyful exercise, particularly if it’s a subject you love.

The more you learn, the greater will be the number of skills you can offer. The more skills you have the more value you add. So, learn something new every day.

And remember; learning will also broaden your horizons. Learning is a positive experience, so never stop learning. 

11. The power of faith:

Faith can be a great comfort in times of trial. Believing there is some higher power helps us to appreciate our place within the universe. We are nothing more than specs of dust in a great cosmic cloud, or at least that’s the way it seems.

Faith adds discipline to your life. Whichever faith you choose is not important. Well, I don’t think so anyway. However being part of a spiritual group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations encourages inner peace and personal well-being.

It also encourages the idea of service and putting others first.

Never underestimate the power of faith. 

12. Minimise your exposure to pollution:

Pollution comes in many forms but it all takes its toll on your happiness and well-being.

Life is full of toxins, hazardous places, loud noises, light pollution and much more.

Minimize your exposure to these negative elements because they’re an assault on your senses and they’re not good for you if you’re over-exposed to them. 

13. Take regular exercise:

A sedentary lifestyle is not healthy for anyone.

Our bodies were built for movement. So exercise daily.

That doesn’t mean you must go to the gym. Neither does it mean you must participate in formal sports teams or clubs.

You can exercise in simple ways like running, jogging, a brisk walk or even an informal game of football or tennis with friends in the local park.

Even if you’re just taking your dog for a walk then that’s exercise too.

Alternatively, perhaps you could walk to and from work, if possible, rather than using your car or public transport.

Just do what your body was made for and you will feel a bit more alive. Regular exercise improves your health and well-being.

Conclusion:

Today’s underlying message is that you can choose to be happy or not. It all depends on how you choose to look at life and the slings and arrows that life sends your way.

There’s nothing to be gained by being miserable and a sense of personal happiness is better for your health and well-being.

So choose to be happy and develop habits that will lead you to a state of personal happiness.

It’s not easy of course, and it does take some work but it’s well worth the effort.

Please share this post with your friends:

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Please share it now and I’ll be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you for your support.

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