15 Quotes by Amy Poehler that reflect her philosophy

05/24/2025 by

If you’re looking for quotes by Amy Poehler, this article is for you.

Amy Poehler is an American actress, voice artist, comedian, director, producer, and writer. She is also an inspiration to women everywhere.

Amy Poehler is probably best known for her appearances on the US television series Saturday Night Live. She has a reputation for being a woman with the determination to contribute significantly in her own right rather than being content with a decorative, background role supporting leading men.

This is a woman who is smart, talented, and one who knows where she’s going. She has a determination to succeed on her own terms, and that’s a quality I admire.

We would all do well to follow her example, regardless of our gender. We leave our mark on life with the things we achieve and the contributions we make.

So here are 15 quotes by Amy Poehler that reflect her philosophy and her approach to succeeding in a tough profession.

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Quotes by Amy Poehler:

  1. I get a little itchy if I don’t have some control. ~Amy Poehler
  2. I’ve always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler. ~Amy Poehler
  3. I believe great people do things before they are ready. ~Amy Poehler
  4. The earlier you learn that you should focus on what you have, and not obsess about what you don’t have, the happier you will be. ~Amy Poehler
  5. I cannot stress enough that the answer to life’s questions is often in people’s faces. Try putting your iPhones down once in a while, and look in people’s faces. People’s faces will tell you amazing things. Like if they are angry, or nauseous or asleep. ~Amy Poehler
  6. Try to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don’t know about. Limit your ‘always’ and your ‘nevers.’ ~Amy Poehler
  7. I’d say any good set or any comedy that I’ve worked on, that’s worked, has been comedians pitching ideas back and forth to each other. A lot of like, ‘What if you say this? What about this?’ ~Amy Poehler
  8. Any actor or actress who tells you that they don’t watch their stuff is lying. ~Amy Poehler
  9. I think we should stop asking people in their twenties what they “want to do” and start asking them what they don’t want to do. ~Amy Poehler
  10. You do it because the doing of it is the thing. The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying and thinking is not the thing. ~Amy Poehler
  11. Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier. ~Amy Poehler
  12. It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for. It takes years to find your voice and seize your real estate. ~Amy Poehler
  13. Watching great people do what you love is a good way to start learning how to do it yourself. ~Amy Poehler
  14. How a person treats their waitress is a great indication of their character. ~Amy Poehler
  15. I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things. ~Amy Poehler

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17 quotes by Malcolm X to get you thinking

05/22/2025 by

Today, I thought exploring some quotes by Malcolm X would be interesting.

Malcolm X was best known as a human rights activist who was a prominent figure in the civil rights movement in the United States during the 1960s.

Arguably, he was a controversial figure, but he was a vocal advocate for Black empowerment, and he remains a widely celebrated figure within African American communities for his pursuit of racial justice.

If we can learn anything from his life and work, I think, it is that we do not have to accept the unacceptable. If a cause is just, then it is worth pursuing. We can and should push back. He did, and that is what he is remembered for, and it is why his life is commemorated with Malcolm X Day in the United States.

He did what he believed to be right, and his legacy speaks for itself.

So here are 17 quotes by Malcolm X to get you thinking today:

QUOTES BY MALCOLM X
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Quotes by Malcolm X (1-10):

  1. Stumbling is not falling.
  2. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.
  3. A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.
  4. Without education, you are not going anywhere in this world.
  5. Envy blinds men and makes it impossible for them to think clearly.
  6. I’m for truth, no matter who tells it. I’m for justice, no matter who it’s for or against.
  7. To have once been a criminal is no disgrace. To remain a criminal is the disgrace.
  8. History is a people’s memory, and without a memory, man is demoted to the lower animals.
  9. Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.
  10. You don’t have to be a man to fight for freedom. All you have to do is to be an intelligent human being.

Quotes by Malcolm X (11-17):

  1. I believe in human beings, and that all human beings should be respected as such, regardless of their colour.
  2. My Alma mater was books, a good library. I could spend the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity.
  3. I have more respect for a man who lets me know where he stands, even if he’s wrong, than the one who comes up like an angel and is nothing but a devil.
  4. There is no better teacher than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.
  5. The media’s the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that’s power. Because they control the minds of the masses.
  6. Despite my firm convictions, I have always been a man who tries to face facts, and to accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfolds. I have always kept an open mind, a flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of the intelligent search for truth.
  7. I believe in the brotherhood of man, all men, but I don’t believe in brotherhood with anybody who doesn’t want brotherhood with me. I believe in treating people right, but I’m not going to waste my time trying to treat somebody right who doesn’t know how to return the treatment.

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15 Quotes by Barbara Sher to inspire you

05/21/2025 by

Today, I offer you 15 quotes by Barbara Sher, and I hope they will prove to be inspirational for you, dear reader.

Barbara Sher is best known as a speaker, a career and lifestyle coach, and an author. She is, in fact, a voice of authority for self-help advice-seekers everywhere.

Barbara Sher’s books have sold millions of copies worldwide, and they’ve been translated into many languages.

She’s made numerous appearances on television shows in the United States, including Oprah, The Today Show, 60 Minutes, CNN, and Good Morning America. Her own public television specials also air regularly in the United States.

QUOTES BY BARBARA SHER
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 Quotes by Barbara Sher:

  1. Our dreams are who we are. ~Barbara Sher
  2. Change is not only likely, it’s inevitable. ~Barbara Sher
  3. Doing is a quantum leap from imagining. ~Barbara Sher
  4. The cure for sorrow is to learn something. ~Barbara Sher
  5. You don’t have to get it right the first time. ~Barbara Sher
  6. Resentment is weak and lowers your self-esteem. ~Barbara Sher
  7. When you play it too safe, you’re taking the biggest risk of your life. Time is the only wealth we’re given. ~Barbara Sher
  8. You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you. ~Barbara Sher
  9. Imaginary obstacles are insurmountable. Real ones aren’t. ~Barbara Sher
  10. It’s essential to distinguish between events that are really beyond your control and events you caused yourself. ~Barbara Sher
  11. You must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning. ~Barbara Sher
  12. The amount of good luck coming your way depends on your willingness to act. ~Barbara Sher
  13. Real obstacles don’t take you in circles. They can be overcome. Invented ones are like a maze. ~Barbara Sher
  14. When you start using senses you’ve neglected, your reward is to see the world with completely fresh eyes. ~Barbara Sher
  15. Every single one of us can do things that no one else can do – can love things that no one else can love. We are like violins. We can be used for doorstops, or we can make music. You know what to do. ~Barbara Sher

Barbara Sher Quotes in Video: 

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5 ways to kill your dreams

05/15/2025 by

Today, I want to explore the 5 ways to kill your dreams if you’re not careful.

I’m sure you must have dreams and goals, dear reader. After all, most people do. However, how often do people fail to realise their dreams? How often do dreams and projects simply never happen? Why is that?

Well, in the thought-provoking TED video included here, Bel Pesce suggests how not to follow your dreams. She gives five reasons why you’ll fail if you adopt the wrong approach.

Bel Pesce’s observations relate to the beliefs people hold about how success is achieved. In her view, those erroneous beliefs are as follows:

5 WAYS TO KILL YOUR DREAMS
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5 ways to kill your dreams:

1. Believe in overnight success

We see someone successful, but we don’t see their backstory. Although they appear to have gained their success overnight, it was due to years of hard work mastering their craft first.

No one succeeds without years of hard work first. Nothing happens by accident. It’s all down to determination, grit, and an insatiable desire for success.

Opportunity may come overnight, but you have to be well-prepared to grab that opportunity when you see it. Being prepared means mastering your craft.

2. Believe someone else has the answers for you

It’s your life, and no one else knows you and your life better than you.

You need to find your own way, in your own time. In finding a way, it must be a way that suits you well and one with which you feel truly comfortable.

No one else has the perfect answers that will be a good fit with your life.

3. Believe you can settle when growth is guaranteed

It can be amazing just how many people will stop and settle once they’ve reached a goal they’d set for themselves. They get to a point where they think, it’s OK now.

And yet, OK is never OK.

When you reach a peak, you must find the next peak if you are to continue to grow and sustain success.

4. Believe the fault is down to someone else

If you have a dream, it’s all down to you to find a way to make it happen. You find a way, or you make a way. And you never accept “No” for an answer, unless, of course, that was the answer you wanted.

The key message is it’s all down to you. If you fail to achieve your dream, then it’s your fault, and no one else is to blame. Simple!

5. Believe the only things that matter are the dreams themselves

Having a goal is important, but life is not just about goals.

Life is a journey with a constant stream of experiences and interactions with other people along the way.

The real fun is in the participation. Achievement is just a bonus.

Achievement is a momentary experience, but life is not. Life goes on beyond the moment.

Dreams and goals in perspective:

If you’re driven by your dreams, then I recommend that you listen to what Bel Pesce has to say. It might just save you some heartache.

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15 Quotes by Helen Keller to inspire you

05/14/2025 by

Helen Adams Keller was an American author, political activist, and lecturer. She was an inspiration to us all. So, surely it’s worth considering some quotes by Helen Keller?

Helen Keller was the first deaf-blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.

With the help of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen Keller broke through the isolation imposed on her by a near-complete lack of language, allowing her to blossom as she learned to communicate.

Keller proved to the world that deaf people could learn to communicate and that they could survive in the hearing world.

Helen Keller is a prime example of someone who, despite considerable disadvantages, was able to realise her full potential through determination, hard work, and a refusal to be defined by her disadvantages.

She’s a role model not only for deaf people but for everyone who struggles to deal with the disadvantages life has bestowed upon them.

So, today, let us reflect on 15 excellent quotes by Helen Keller, which I hope will inspire you, dear reader.

Whenever you feel that life is being unfair to you, I recommend that you think of Helen Keller and people like her and remember that anything is possible if you just keep focused on your objectives.

Quotes by Helen Keller
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Quotes by Helen Keller:

What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.

We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough.

Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.

The highest result of education is tolerance.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched; they must be felt with the heart.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with a sense of responsibility for each other’s welfare, social justice can never be attained.

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others. 

Your success and happiness lie in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.

We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

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21 Interesting quotes by Edgar Allan Poe

05/12/2025 by

Today, I thought exploring some quotes by Edgar Allan Poe might be interesting.

Edgar Allan Poe was an American writer, poet, editor, and literary critic best known for his poetry and short stories, particularly his tales of mystery and macabre.

Born in Boston in 1809, he was the first well-known American writer to earn a living solely through writing, which resulted in a financially difficult life and career.

Whatever you might think of his work, he was successful because his name and written work live on to this day.

So, take a few moments to consider these quotes, and please feel free to pass them on.

QUOTES BY EDGAR ALLAN POE
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Quotes by Edgar Allan Poe (1-10):

  1. Lord, help my poor soul.
  2. Stupidity is a talent for misconception.
  3. We loved with a love that was more than love.
  4. All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
  5. With me, poetry has not been a purpose, but a passion.
  6. I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
  7. Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary.
  8. The nose of a mob is its imagination. By this, at any time, it can be quietly led.
  9. Man’s real life is happy, chiefly because he is ever expecting that it soon will be so.
  10. To vilify a great man is the readiest way in which a little man can himself attain greatness.

Quotes by Edgar Allan Poe (11-21):

  1. If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.
  2. All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry.
  3. Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears.
  4. They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
  5. The true genius shudders at incompleteness and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be.
  6. It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream.
  7. There are few cases in which mere popularity should be considered a proper test of merit; but the case of song writing is, I think, one of the few.
  8. That pleasure, which is at once the most pure, the most elevating and the most intense, is derived, I maintain, from the contemplation of the beautiful.
  9. The ninety and nine are with dreams, content but the hope of the world made new, is the hundredth man who is grimly bent on making those dreams come true.
  10. In one case out of a hundred a point is excessively discussed because it is obscure; in the ninety-nine remaining it is obscure because it is excessively discussed.
  11. I need scarcely observe that a poem deserves its title only in as much as it excites, by elevating the soul. The value of the poem is in the ratio of this elevating excitement.
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31 Interesting quotes by Lucius B. Wack

05/08/2025 by

If it’s interesting quotes you’re looking for, dear reader, then I have 31 more excellent observations from my good friend Lucius B. Wack.

Regular readers will know that a couple of my recent posts have curated quotes from this modern philosopher.

As previously stated, Lucius B. Wack is someone I admire, so I thought it might be interesting to share some more of his thoughts on life today.

So, read these interesting quotes and see what you think.

I hope you find these observations about modern life in the Western world interesting.

If you do, then please feel free to pass them on to your friends.

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Interesting Quotes (1-10):

Who will ever get justice from the mob?

Policy cannot succeed if it’s based on falsehoods.

If the price is your peace of mind, it’s far too expensive.

To live is a beautiful thing. Certainly, it’s better than the alternative.

Work should serve us. We shouldn’t be slaves to our work. Life’s too short. 

There’s no such thing as government money. There’s only taxpayers’ money.

Today will be as productive as you choose to make it. So, make it very productive. 

Why is it that the most hateful people are always those who are the first to accuse others of hate?

The problem with those people who have an unshakeable belief that they know best is that usually, they don’t. 

You won’t get the authentic truth from anyone supported by big money. He (or she) who has the gold makes the rules.

Interesting Quotes (11-20):

Beware of those who love to parade their virtue. Behind every virtuous mask, there’s usually an ugly attitude. 

Life’s full of problems, and we all get our share. No one’s life is perfect, regardless of any indications to the contrary. 

When one is so convinced by the virtue of one’s own opinion, it’s easy to forget that one might be hopelessly wrong.

The cavalry won’t be coming to save you. So, if you want your life to improve, you’ll need to work on saving yourself.

If success is your aim, you must have a definite sense of purpose. Know your why, and you’ll find a way to get where you want to go. 

Beware those who will interpret what you say through the prism of their prejudices and seek to use their distorted views against you.

If it matters, we must make time. Everyone has the same number of hours in the week. How we use them depends on our priorities.

Failure is only failure if we fail to learn from it. Otherwise, it’s a useful lesson that’s the basis of that valuable commodity known as experience. 

When someone says, “Bow to my demands or face the consequences,” there’s only one appropriate response. It’s two words, the second of which is off. 

Have a go at anything, and you’ll make mistakes. However, you’ll learn from those mistakes, and over time you’ll hone your skills. Mastery starts with having a go.

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Interesting Quotes (21-31):

You don’t have to follow your heart, but one day you’ll wish you did. Better to try and fail than spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.

Whatever you choose to say, regardless of how accurate or true it is, there will always be someone on social media who takes exception to it. That’s life today.

Some people are so blinded by what they believe is virtue in their own opinions that they cannot begin to appreciate whether alternative opinions held by others have merit too.

You may have a sound argument, but if it runs counter to the agenda of those with more sinister aims, they’ll simply dismiss you as a bigot. It’s the classic way of shutting down debate.

They strive to remove as many freedoms from ordinary folk as they can. They have a religious conviction in their own virtue and feel superior to what they see as the stupidity of the little people. 

If you’re in charge, you’re not there to be liked. You’re there to be effective. If you’re effective, you’ll get respect. If you try to court popularity, you won’t be effective, and ultimately, you will fail.

How many serious problems in this world have been caused by politicians making decisions that make no sense but have been driven by their need to be seen as virtuous?

Why do we give so many stupid people so much power over our lives? Wherever you look in politics and public institutions, there are stupid people who should never be anywhere near the levers of power.

Each of us has a different journey through life, and one person’s journey is not necessarily better or worse than another’s. It’s the choices we make and how we deal with the cards we’re dealt that will dictate our life experiences. 

The greatest tyranny is the status quo. Vested interests don’t like to be challenged because they fear someone taking their lunch. They have no intention of sharing the cake with anyone else. That’s why they must be challenged constantly. 

Be prepared to stand and fight if it matters to you, or learn to accept that which would otherwise be unacceptable. If you don’t make a stand, you must bow to those who pursue their agenda even when it runs counter to the interests of the many.

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6 short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh

05/07/2025 by
6 short story jokes

Here are six short story jokes guaranteed to make you laugh. They made me howl with laughter, so I hope they’ll brighten your day too. Enjoy them all.

SHORT STORY JOKES
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Short story jokes:

1. The Deaf Debt Collector:

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses subject to their protection racket.

As they were feeling the heat from the Police, they decided to use someone deaf for the job. If someone deaf gets caught, they figured he wouldn’t be able to communicate easily with the Police.

In his first week on the job, the deaf debt collector picks up over $50,000. That’s a lot of money, he thinks, and the deaf debt collector’s greed gets the better of him. He decides to keep the money, and he stashes it in a safe place.

However, it’s not long before the Mafia realises that the collection is late and they send out a couple of heavies to look for the deaf debt collector.

They soon find him and ask the deaf debt collector what he’s done with the money. The problem is that the deaf debt collector can’t communicate with them either, so the Mafia heavies drag him off to an interpreter.

They get to a sign language interpreter and the leading Mafioso then says, “I want ya to ask him where da money is.“

So the interpreter signs, “Where’s the money?“

The deaf debt collector tries to bluff his way out of his dilemma by saying, “I don’t know what they’re talking about.“

The interpreter looks at the Mafioso and says, “He’s saying he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.“

The Mafioso reaches into his coat and pulls out a .44 Remington Magnum handgun, which he points at the forehead of the deaf debt collector, and with real menace in his voice, he says to the interpreter, “Ask him where da money is, and tell him I won’t be askin’ again.“

So the interpreter immediately signs, “Where’s the money? He says he won’t ask again, and I think he’s serious.“

At this point, the deaf debt collector’s nerve goes, and he signs, “The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left by the gate near 72nd Street on Central Park West, and close to Strawberry Fields.“

Getting impatient, the Mafioso looks at the interpreter and asks, “What did he say?”

The interpreter looks at the Mafioso and says, “He says he still doesn’t know what you’re talking about, he thinks you’re an idiot, and he doesn’t think you’ve got the balls to pull the trigger!“

2. The Balloonist and the Programmer:

A man is flying in a hot air balloon, and soon realizes he’s completely lost.

So he starts reducing height, and suddenly spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon a little further and then shouts: “Excuse me, sir, I was wondering, can you tell me where I am? I seem to be lost.“

Taken by surprise, the man looks up and replies, “Yeah, that’s easy. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering about 25 feet above this field.“

“You must work in IT. I’m guessing you work as a programmer?” says the balloonist.

“I do and yes, I am,” replies the man, looking a little surprised, “How did you guess?“

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you’ve told me is technically correct, but it’s of no actual use to anyone.“

The programmer smiles and then says, “Ah, you must be the CEO of a business.“

“Yes, I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how could you know that?“

“That’s easy,” says the programmer. “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.“

3. The Tiger, the Man, and God:

A man is being chased by a tiger.

He’s running as hard as he can, and eventually, he gets to the edge of a cliff with the tiger still in hot pursuit.

The man looks over the edge of the cliff and sees a branch growing out of the side of the cliff just a few feet down.

Having no other option, the man jumps down and grabs the branch just before the tiger arrives at the cliff edge.

The tiger is growling viciously and pacing backwards and forwards along the cliff edge. The man sighs with relief, as he thinks he’s outsmarted the tiger.

At that moment, a little mouse appears from a crevice in the rock, and it begins to chew on the branch.

The man looks down at what is a drop of hundreds of feet. If he falls, it will surely result in his death. So he looks to the heavens and yelled out, “Dear God, if you are there, please help. I will do anything you ask, but please help.“

“You say you will do anything I ask?” Without it being questioned?” a voice booms from heaven above.

The man is surprised to get an immediate reply to his plea, but he yells back, “I will gladly do anything you ask, but please save me.“

“There’s one way to save you, but it will take courage and faith,” says the voice from above.

The man can feel the branch begin to weaken as the mouse continues to gnaw at it, and he can see the tiger still pacing around, growling at the cliff’s edge a few feet above him.

“Please, Lord, tell me what I must do, and I will do it. Your will is my command,” shouts the man in despair.

“All right then, let go of the branch,” the voice from heaven responds.

The man looks down to a fall of hundreds of feet and certain death. He looks up at the hungry tiger a few feet above him, and then he looks at the mouse still chewing on the branch.

He then looks up at the heavens again and yells, “Is there no one else up there I can speak to?“

SHORT STORY JOKES

4. The Mercedes Dealership:

An elderly man returned to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car he was interested in to a beautiful, busty blonde.

“I thought you said you would hold that car for me until I raised the $75.000 asking price,” said the old man. “And now I’m told you just closed a deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model.“

“Well, sir, what can I tell you?” replied the salesman, grinning. “She had the cash in her hand, and just look at her, she’s stunningly beautiful. How could I resist?“.

At this point, the young lady approached the old man and handed him the keys to the car.

“There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get this joker to drop his asking price. See you later, Grandpa.”

Moral of the story: Never mess with old people!

5. The Genie:

A customer service agent, an administration clerk, and their manager are all walking to lunch when they stumble upon an old, antique oil lamp.

Knowing that an old oil lamp can often house a genie, they enthusiastically rub it in hopeful anticipation.

Sure enough, out pops a genie.

“I am the genie of the lamp, and you can each have one wish,” says the genie.

“Me first! Me first!” says the customer service agent. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”

There’s a poof sound followed by a cloud of smoke, and the customer service agent’s gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.”

There’s a poof sound followed by a cloud of smoke, and the administration clerk’s gone

The genie then looks at the manager and says, “OK, Boss, I guess it’s your turn now.”

“I want those two back in the office in exactly 45 minutes,” the manager responds.

Moral of the story: It’s always a good idea to let your boss go first.

6. The Mexican Maid:

A Mexican maid asks for a pay rise from the lady of the house.

The wife is not happy about this, so she decides to talk to the maid about her request for more money.

“Now, Maria, why do you want more money?” she asks.

“Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I wanna increase,” replies the maid. “The first eez that I iron better than you.“

“Maria, who said you iron better than me?” responds the wife.

“Jor huzban he say so Señora,” Maria replies.

“Oh, he did, did he?” says the wife. “And what is your second reason?”

“The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you,” Maria responds.

“That’s nonsense. Who said you’re a better cook than me?” asks the wife.

“Jor hozban deed Señora,” Maria replies.

“Oh, he did, did he?”  the wife responds, getting increasingly agitated.

“The third reason eez that I ama better than you in da bed,” says Maria.

The lady of the house is now angry and, through gritted teeth, she asks, “And did my husband say that too?“

“No Señora, the gardener deed,” Maria replies.

“OK, how much is it you want?” asks her employer.

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Share the fun, and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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35 one-liners about life that will raise a smile

05/01/2025 by

I love one-liners about life. The one I love most has to be the following:

“Life? Don’t talk to me about life!”

Older readers may remember that this was the expression made famous by Marvin the Paranoid Android in Douglas Adams’ classic novel, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

I’m sure we’ve all shared Marvin’s sentiment occasionally when we experience life’s more challenging moments.

However positive we are, life can get the better of us sometimes.

So here are some one-liners about life that are guaranteed to raise a smile or two, as I’m sure at least some of them will resonate with readers.

Life can be absurd at times, and it’s difficult on occasions to believe the evidence of our own eyes and ears.

Nevertheless, our aim must be to remain positive, and to do that, we must learn to laugh at life and ourselves.

Don’t take it all too seriously.

Just laugh as much as you can, and that is the perfect counterbalance to life’s absurdities.

Start now by laughing at all these one-liners, which I’ve collected together to amuse and entertain you, dear reader.

ONE-LINERS ABOUT LIFE
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One-liners about life (1-20):

  1. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  2. Life is a terminal disease.
  3. Youth is wasted on the young.
  4. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
  5. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  6. It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.
  7. We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.
  8. Being a hypochondriac could save your life one of these days.
  9. Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.
  10. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  11. I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
  12. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
  13. I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
  14. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  15. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
  16. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
  17. Just because a road’s well-trodden doesn’t mean it leads anywhere worth going.
  18. As soon as you’re doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else.
  19. Stealing ideas from one person is plagiarism but stealing ideas from many people is research.
  20. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

One-liners about life (21-35):

  1. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than the police.
  2. You might as well laugh at your problems because everyone else does.
  3. God must love stupid people because he made so many of them.
  4. Dolphins are so smart they can train people to stand at the edge of the pool and throw fish at them.
  5. If I was doin’ any better, I’d have to hire someone to help me enjoy it!
  6. Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
  7. How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
  8. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
  9. I thought I wanted a career but I realize now that I just wanted a decent income.
  10. Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
  11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they’re sexy.
  12. Why is it that most nudists are people you wouldn’t want to see naked?
  13. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you.
  14. Some people will appreciate it others will be irritated by it. Either way, you win.
  15. The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.

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So, dear reader, did any of these one-liners about life make you smile?

I hope so.

However, there are plenty more laughs for you if you click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here, then please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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33 short sharp quotes to get you thinking

05/01/2025 by

If short, sharp quotes are what you’re looking for today, here are 33 that I am confident you will like, dear reader.

Enjoy them all, and please feel free to share them.

short sharp quotes
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Short Sharp Quotes (1-20):

  1. Never complain; never explain.
  2. Troubled waters make skilled sailors.
  3. Mistakes are just lessons to be learned.
  4. You’re never too old to do something stupid.
  5. Yes, I have a sleep disorder. It’s known as children.
  6. We live in the era of smartphones and stupid people.
  7. No response is a response, and a powerful one too.
  8. To understand politics, you must read between the lies.
  9. You can’t change the past, but you can shape the future.
  10. Sometimes you’ve got to be smart enough to play stupid.
  11. If you want to change your life, change the way you think.
  12. Life’s hard for everyone, but it’s even harder if you’re stupid.
  13. Wouldn’t it be great if everything were as easy as getting fat?
  14. One good friend is worth infinitely more than 1,000 fake ones.
  15. Some people serve as examples, whilst others serve as a warning.
  16. Test my patience if you must, but I must warn you, I’m negative.
  17. Don’t waste your words on people who deserve only your silence.
  18. On Spaceship Earth, we’re all crew. We all have a contribution to make.
  19. It’s not who you are that holds you back. It’s who you think you’re not.
  20. If it’s not right, don’t do it. If you can’t be sure it’s true, don’t say it.

Short Sharp Quotes (21-33):

  1. You can’t argue with a closed mind and a fixed point of view. So, don’t try.
  2. If you have a problem with me, then cry me a river and drown yourself in it.
  3. Being wise is not hard. Think of something stupid to say, and then don’t say it.
  4. Knowledge is like underwear. Nice to have, but showing it off is rarely a good idea.
  5. We’re all prisoners of the mobile phone. That’s why they’re known as cell phones.
  6. Watch what they do, not what they say. Talk is cheap. Results are everything.
  7. You’re not the dumbest person on the planet. However, you’d better hope he doesn’t die.
  8. Never confuse the people who are always around you with the people who are always there for you.
  9. We must learn from the mistakes of others. None of us will live long enough to make every mistake ourselves.
  10. Words spoken in anger tell you a lot about what people think. They offer a glimpse behind the mask.
  11. We come from dust, and we return to dust. So it’s probably best not to dust. It might be someone you know.
  12. Some people are only meant to be there for a single chapter of your life. Not everyone will be a constant in your story.
  13. Evaluate the people in your life, then eliminate any that are a negative influence on you. It’s your life, and you decide.
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So go on, please share this post now. If you do, I’ll be ever so grateful.

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