30 Guess What jokes to raise a smile or two

06/08/2023 by

GUESS WHAT JOKESI know how much readers enjoy a good laugh, and that’s why I’ve curated a collection of delightfully clever Guess What jokes just for you today.

These aren’t just your everyday, run-of-the-mill jokes. They’re mostly just a clever play on words. That’s what I enjoy, and I hope that you enjoy this form of humour too, dear reader.

So, grab a coffee, take an unofficial break, relax and enjoy the humour I have on offer for you today.

And please, feel free to pass on these jokes.

Guess what jokes (1-10):

  1. Guess what? They told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic. But so far, I’ve made three jugs and a vase.
  2. Guess what? I got my friend a fridge for his birthday. I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
  3. Guess what? My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So, we went and had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
  4. Guess what? My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said ‘40‘.
  5. Guess what? I’ve just written a pop song about tortillas. Well, it’s more of a wrap really.
  6. Guess what? I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We’ve got no gigs yet.
  7. Guess what? My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table. I had to take a running start, but I made it.
  8. Guess what? I had a joke about a boomerang, but I’ve forgotten it. It’ll come back to me.
  9. Guess what? My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
  10. Guess what? I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

Guess what jokes (11-20):

  1. Guess what? I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.
  2. Guess what? I had an addiction to soap, but I’m clean now.
  3. Guess what? I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said, ‘Wii.’
  4. Guess what? I once did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
  5. Guess what? I was going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
  6. Guess what? I was going to tell you a joke about infinity, but it doesn’t have an end.
  7. Guess what? I wrote a book on penguins. In hindsight, paper would have been better.
  8. Guess what? I used to be an astronaut, but I couldn’t stand the pressure.
  9. Guess what? At the library, I asked for a book on levitation. They said it was currently floating around somewhere.
  10. Guess what? A friend asked me if I had any sodium hypobromite. I said NaBrO.

Guess what jokes (21-30):

  1. Guess what? I used to be a lifeguard until some blue kid got me fired.
  2. Guess what? I wanted to learn to juggle, but I just don’t have the balls.
  3. Guess what? I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Tell you what, never again.
  4. Guess what? I’ve just told a chemistry joke, but I didn’t get a reaction.
  5. Guess what? I know a lot of jokes about retired people but none of them work!
  6. Guess what? I told my wife I saw a deer on the way home. She said, “How do you know he was on his way home?”
  7. Guess what? My boss told me to have a good day. So, I went home.
  8. Guess what? I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
  9. Guess what? I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
  10. Guess what? I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, you’re brilliant.”

Please share this post:

GUESS WHAT JOKESIf any of these Guess What jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

More fun you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All Rights Reserved.

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35 stupid jokes that are funny

06/07/2023 by

STUPID JOKES THAT ARE FUNNYIf you’re looking for stupid jokes that are funny, dear reader, then take a look at the 35 I’ve collected for you today.

Yes, they are corny. Yes, they are stupid. However, I’m confident that at least a few of them will raise a smile.

So, grab a coffee, relax, and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Stupid jokes that are funny (1-10):

  1. I, for one, like Roman numerals.
  2. How do you start a pudding race? Say go!
  3. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.
  4. What is hairy and coughs? A coconut with a cold.
  5. What is the most unreliable diner? A fickle onion.
  6. Why did the pickle miss work? Because it was dill.
  7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  8. What food can you eat in a taxi? Corn on the cab.
  9. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
  10. What did the plate say to the diner? Lunch is on me. 

Stupid jokes that are funny (11-20):

  1. I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  2. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
  3. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
  4. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted!
  5. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up!
  6. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  7. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  8. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
  9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  10. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!

Stupid jokes that are funny (21-30):

  1. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop, but it was sole destroying.
  2. Why did the sandwich go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
  3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  4. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
  5. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
  6. Why don’t Melons run away to get married? Because they cantaloupe.
  7. Why did the lazy grape stomper get fired? For sitting down on the job.
  8. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  9. Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.
  10. What is yellow, brown, and hairy? Cheese on toast dropped on the carpet.

Stupid jokes that are funny (31-35):

  1. I was going to tell a time-travelling joke, but you didn’t think it was funny.
  2. I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job, and I made my own hours.
  3. Why are hamburgers better than hot dogs? Because hot dogs are the wurst.
  4. Why did the guy put his money in a blender? Because he needed to liquidate his assets!
  5. I told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids. In one ear, out the other.

Please share this post:

If any of these stupid jokes that are funny actually made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Thank you for your support.

More fun you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All Rights Reserved.

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50 funny what’s the difference between jokes

05/28/2023 by

whats the difference between jokesIf you’re looking for some what’s the difference between jokes, dear reader, then I can offer you 50 today that I’m sure will raise a laugh or two.

Give people a laugh and they’ll forget about their worries, at least for a while. That’s my philosophy.

Whether you’re at your local bar trying to break the ice with some new friends or at a family gathering trying to make your notoriously hard-to-impress uncle chuckle, these jokes are sure to be a hit. Well, I think so, anyway.

So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and prepare for an onslaught of comedic genius. Well, at the very least, a few groans.

Let’s get this laughter show on the road then, shall we? Brace yourselves, it might just be a wild ride!

What’s the difference between jokes (1-10):

  1. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
  2. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a well-dressed man on a tricycle? Attire!
  3. What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, whack, “Darn!” A bad skydiver goes, “Darn!” whack.
  4. What’s the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You can’t dunk an elephant in your tea.
  5. What’s the difference between a teacher and a railroad guard? One trains the mind, and the other minds the train.
  6. What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
  7. What’s the difference between a Zippo and a hippo? One is heavy, the other is a little lighter.
  8. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
  9. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
  10. What’s the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What’s the difference between jokes (11-20):

  1. What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
  2. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
  3. What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
  4. What’s the difference between a tick and a politician? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other is a tiny insect.
  5. What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
  6. What’s the difference between a thief and a peeping Tom? One snatches your watch, and the other watches your snatch.
  7. What’s the difference between a unicorn and a carrot? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
  8. What’s the difference between a comet and a cat? One has a tail that’s blazing, and the other’s tail is for chasing.
  9. What’s the difference between a banker and a vampire? One sucks your blood, and the other your wallet.
  10. What’s the difference between a poker player and a skydiver? One takes a chance when he goes all in, and the other when he jumps all out. 

What’s the difference between jokes (21-30):

  1. What’s the difference between a chef and a dog? One wears pants and the other just pants.
  2. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing!
  3. What’s the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, and a cat only nine times.
  4. What’s the difference between a schoolteacher and a steam train? The teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the train says “Choo Choo!”
  5. What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? One’s a pop fly and the other’s a fly pop.
  6. What’s the difference between a baseball player and a dirty puppy? One runs home after sliding into base, and the other slides into home after running in the dirt.
  7. What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
  8. What’s the difference between a circus and a brothel? At the circus, you have a cunning array of stunts.
  9. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
  10. What’s the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student? One baits his hooks, and the other hates his books.

What’s the difference between jokes (31-40):

  1. What’s the difference between a robber and a politician? The robber steals your money and then runs. The politician runs and then steals your money.
  2. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
  3. What’s the difference between an elephant and a grape? Grapes are purple.
  4. What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can’t hear an enzyme.
  5. What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion? No one sheds a tear when you chop up an accordion.
  6. What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
  7. What’s the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.
  8. What’s the difference between a gambler and a skydiver? A gambler risks going broke, and a skydiver risks going splat.
  9. What’s the difference between a mathematician and an accountant? An accountant would say that 1+1=2. A mathematician would need to prove it.
  10. What’s the difference between a casino and a church? In a casino, you really mean it when you pray.

What’s the difference between jokes (41-50):

  1. What’s the difference between a pun and a dad joke? One just leaves you groaning, and the other leaves you groaning and slightly disappointed.
  2. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
  3. What’s the difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman? The used car salesman knows when he’s lying.
  4. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
  5. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.
  6. What’s the difference between a magician and a politician? One performs tricks and the other just tricks.
  7. What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer doesn’t need a parachute.
  8. What’s the difference between a politician and a snail? One is a slimy pest, and the other is a snail.
  9. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
  10. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear, and the other’s a very good year.

Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these what’s the difference between jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Alternatively, there’s a lot more than humour on this site. I aim to inform and inspire too. Feel free to look around.

Thank you for your support.

More fun you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All Rights Reserved.

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50 corny but playful Yo Mama jokes

05/27/2023 by

Yo Mama JokesIf you enjoy Yo Mama jokes, then take a look at the 50 I have on offer for you today.

They’re all a bit corny but they’re fun, playful, and light-hearted.

I hope at least a few of them will make you smile.

Enjoy them all and please, feel free to share them with your friends.

Yo Mama Jokes (1-10):

  1. Yo mama’s so old, she babysat Yoda.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, her social security number is 1.
  3. Yo mama’s so slow, she was overtaken by a sloth.
  4. Yo mama’s so fat, she has to buy group insurance.
  5. Yo mama’s so dumb, she lost in a game of solitaire.
  6. Yo mama’s so old, Moses was in her class at school.
  7. Yo mama’s so slow, she’d lose in a race with a snail.
  8. Yo mama’s so slow, she gets overtaken by parked cars.
  9. Yo mama’s so slow, she could be overtaken by a glacier.
  10. Yo mama’s so lazy, she gets tired watching cars pass by.

Yo Mama Jokes (11-20):

  1. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over a cordless phone.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
  3. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless network.
  4. Yo mama’s so old, she used to babysit George Washington.
  5. Yo mama’s so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
  6. Yo mama’s so loud, even the deaf ask her to keep the noise down.
  7. Yo mama’s so forgetful, she forgot she was wearing her sunglasses.
  8. Yo mama’s so old, she knew Burger King when he was only a prince.
  9. Yo mama’s so heavy-handed, she’d break safety glass with a cotton ball.
  10. Yo mama’s so bad at technology, she couldn’t even find the START button on her computer.

Yo Mama Jokes (21-30):

  1. Yo mama’s so old, her high school diploma is on a stone tablet.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, her birth certificate is written in hieroglyphics.
  3. Yo mama’s so bad at math, she can’t even count her own fingers.
  4. Yo mama’s so slow, even a turtle crossed the road faster than her.
  5. Yo mama’s so lazy, even her remote control needs a remote control.
  6. Yo mama’s so bad at gardening, her plants filed for ‘plant protection’.
  7. Yo mama’s so forgetful, she sometimes introduces herself to the mirror.
  8. Yo mama’s so greedy, she tried to download cookies from the internet.
  9. Yo mama’s so confused, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
  10. Yo mama’s so old, she remembers when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch.

Yo Mama Jokes (31-40):

  1. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thinks deja vu is a yoga pose.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, Tyrannosaurus Rex was her first pet.
  3. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over her own shadow.
  4. Yo mama’s so slow, she was beaten in a race by a statue.
  5. Yo mama’s so dumb, she went to the airport to catch a train.
  6. Yo mama’s so loud, she doesn’t need a phone to make a long-distance call.
  7. Yo mama’s so lacking in a sense of direction, she got lost in her own house.
  8. Yo mama’s so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was just feeling a little unwell.
  9. Yo mama’s so dumb, she put her phone on airplane mode and couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t fly.
  10. Yo mama knows so little about sports, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl thinking it was a food-tasting event.

Yo Mama Jokes (41-50):

  1. Yo mama’s so loud, you can hear her thoughts.
  2. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she could slip on sunshine.
  3. Yo mama’s so slow, she came second in a ‘solo race’.
  4. Yo mama’s so bad at cooking, even the trashcan spit it out.
  5. Yo mama’s so stingy, she uses both sides of the toilet paper.
  6. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought Bluetooth was a dental problem.
  7. Yo mama’s so dumb, if she played hide and seek alone, she’d still lose.
  8. Yo mama’s cooking is so bad, even her dog goes to a neighbour’s house to eat.
  9. Yo mama’s so dumb, she tried to charge her credit card by plugging it into the wall.
  10. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought an Apple iPhone would count as one of her five-a-day.

Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these Yo Mama jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

More fun you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All Rights Reserved.

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40 witty Deez Nuts jokes that will brighten your day

05/26/2023 by

Deez Nuts JokesLaughter has an incredible way of brightening our day, I am sure you will agree, dear reader. So, what better way to add a little fun to your day than with this batch of deez nuts jokes?

Whether it’s a little pick-me-up you need, a quick giggle, or you simply want some fun you can share with friends, these jokes are sure to crack a smile or two.

Whether you’re a fan of clever wordplay, enjoy the art of the punchline, or love the sheer silliness of these jokes, they are sure to tickle your funny bone.

So, please take a few moments to enjoy the silliness of them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Deez Nuts Jokes (1-10):

  1. What did Deez Nuts say to the psychiatrist? I’m nuts.
  2. What did Deez Nuts say to the pistachio? You’re in a nutshell!
  3. What did Deez Nuts say to the New York cab driver? Nuttin’!
  4. What did Deez Nuts say to the peanut butter? Spread the love!
  5. Why did Deez Nuts become a comedian? He cracked everyone up!
  6. What did Deez Nuts say to the vending machine? Give me my nuts!
  7. What did Deez Nuts say to the walnut? You’re a tough nut to crack.
  8. Why did Deez Nuts become a detective? He was always on the case.
  9. Why did Deez Nuts go to the gym? He wanted to get nut-solutely fit.
  10. Why did Deez Nuts become a chef? He knew how to spice up the nuts.

Deez Nuts Jokes (11-20):

  1. Why did Deez Nuts get a job at the bakery? He kneaded the dough.
  2. What did Deez Nuts say to the acorn? You’re a small but mighty nut!
  3. What did Deez Nuts say to his boss? You’d have to be nuts to work here.
  4. What did Deez Nuts say to the sunflower seed? You’re a bright little nut!
  5. What did Deez Nuts say to the chestnut? You’re the nuttiest of them all!
  6. Why did Deez Nuts start a dance troupe? He had some fancy nut moves.
  7. What did Deez Nuts say to the Bombay mix? You’re great with a drink!
  8. Why did Deez Nuts become a barber? He knew how to give nuts a clean cut.
  9. What did Deez Nuts say to the macadamia? You’re the nut of my dreams!
  10. What did Deez Nuts say to the esthetician? I’d like a back, sack and crack, please.

Deez Nuts Jokes (21-30):

  1. Why did Deez Nuts become a magician? He could make nuts disappear!
  2. Why did Deez Nuts become a teacher? He wanted to educate young nuts.
  3. Why did Deez Nuts become a firefighter? He knew how to handle hot nuts!
  4. Why did Deez Nuts become a lifeguard? He wanted to save drowning nuts.
  5. Why did Deez Nuts become a gardener? He wanted to nurture his nutty side.
  6. What did Deez Nuts say to the walnut butter? You’re the nutty spread I can’t resist!
  7. What did Deez Nuts say to the coconut oil? You’re the nutty secret to healthy skin!
  8. What did Deez Nuts say to the cashew butter? You’re a smooth talker, just like me!
  9. What did Deez Nuts say to the almond butter? You spread happiness, just like me!
  10. Why did Deez Nuts go to the ballet? He wanted to see a nutcracking performance.

Deez Nuts Jokes (31-40):

  1. Why did Deez Nuts become a plumber? He knew how to fix leaky nuts.
  2. Why did Deez Nuts become a mechanic? He knew how to loosen stiff nuts in a jiffy.
  3. Why did Deez Nuts join the police force? He was passionate about cracking cases.
  4. Why did Deez Nuts become a counsellor? He was great at listening and offering nutty advice.
  5. Why did Deez Nuts become a coach? He loved motivating other nuts to reach their full potential.
  6. Why did Deez Nuts become a scientist? He wanted to crack the nutty mysteries of the universe.
  7. Why did Deez Nuts start a comedy club? He loved making everyone laugh with his nutty jokes.
  8. What did Deez Nuts say to the walnut flour? You’re the nutty addition to my baking adventures!
  9. Why did Deez Nuts become a photographer? He had an eye for capturing nutty moments.
  10. What did Deez Nuts say to the coconut flour? You’re the secret ingredient in my nutty recipes!

Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these Deez Nuts jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

More fun you might enjoy:

You might like to try these free games too:

Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2023. All Rights Reserved.

Filed Under: Funny Jokes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

4 very funny jokes to get you smiling a little

04/02/2023 by

VERY FUNNY JOKESLaughter is a great way to give yourself a boost. So today I offer you 4 very funny jokes to get you smiling, hopefully just a little.

I’m confident that you will enjoy them all, dear reader.

So take an unofficial break, enjoy them all and please, feel free to pass them on.

Very Funny Jokes:

1. Store policy:

The store manager overheard her sales assistant saying to an elderly customer, “No mam, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting any soon.”

Alarmed by what she’d heard, the store manager rushed over to the elderly lady as she was leaving the store and said, “Mam, I am so sorry, the information you were given was incorrect. We will actually have some very soon. We’ve placed an order today.”

The elderly lady gave the store manager a slightly puzzled look, but then just smiled and left the store.

The store manager then walked back over to her sales assistant and said very sternly, “You must never say that we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we have it on order and we expect it any day. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, mam!” responded the sales assistant.

“So what was it the old lady was asking for?” enquired the store manager.

“Rain”, responded her sales assistant.

2. Bad news:

Dan went to his physician for his annual check-up.

However, he was shocked when his doctor said to him, “I’m afraid you’ve only got three weeks to live.”

“Are you sure?” said Dan, “I feel fine. Isn’t there anything that can be done?”

“Well,” said his doctor, “you could try taking a mud bath each day.”

“Will that cure me?” asked Dan.

“No, but it’ll get you used to the dirt”, responded the physician.

3. The Parking Ticket:

Let me tell you a story about something that happened last week. My wife and I went into town to do some shopping. We came out of a store only to see a cop writing out a parking ticket.

Naturally, I went up to him and said, “Come on buddy, how about giving a senior citizen a break?“

Well, he just ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

As he completed the ticket and was putting it on the windshield, I called him an “asshole.”

Well, he just glared at me and then started writing another ticket, this time for having worn-out tires.

As he completed that ticket, my wife called him a “jerk.”

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we called him offensive names, the more tickets he wrote. Having slapped the last one on the windshield, he then started walking away with a smirk on his face.

Just then our bus arrived, so we got on it and went home.

Moral of the Story: When you’re retired it’s essential you look for ways to have a little fun each day.

4. Embarrassing situations:

VERY FUNNY JOKESBy nature, Jason was very intelligent but a bit shy. One day he went into a bar and he saw a stunningly attractive woman sitting alone at a table drinking a white-wine spritzer.

Jason couldn’t take his eyes off this woman and eventually, he plucked up the courage to walk across and speak to her.

“Hello, I’m Jason. Would you mind if I sat with you and chatted for a while?” asked Jason quietly but politely.

The woman responded by yelling at the top of her voice, “No! I will not sleep with you tonight!”

Jason blushed, beetroot red with embarrassment and everyone in the bar looked over to see what was happening.

So he walked back over to the counter where he’d been sitting, reflecting on how he might have handled the situation and intending to leave the bar as soon as he’d finished his drink.

However, a couple of minutes later the attractive woman walked over to him and apologised.

“I’m really sorry”, she said. “I’m actually a PhD student at Harvard and I’m doing research on how people respond in embarrassing situations.”

To which Jason responded, yelling loudly at the top of his voice, “What do you mean you charge three hundred dollars minimum?”

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Share the fun and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, share now.

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12 funniest jokes you’ll read today

04/01/2023 by

FUNNIEST JOKESWe all need a smile or two occasionally. Jokes cheer us up and laughter is the best medicine. So today I offer you 12 of the funniest jokes, each in two lines.

Let me say that these are jokes that I’ve stumbled upon in various places, so I cannot claim credit for them.

However, I wasn’t able to identify the original authors either.

Should you be the author of any of these jokes, or should you know the original author then please let me know.

I would welcome the opportunity to add appropriate credits and links to acknowledge the authors. In the meantime, enjoy them all!

Funniest Jokes:

  • You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving
  • You only need a parachute if you plan to go skydiving twice
  • Parallel lines have so much in common
  • It’s a shame they’ll never meet
  • Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I earn
  • Then they call me ugly and poor
  • Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re going to pay
  • You have my Word
  • I went to an emotional wedding the other day
  • Even the cake was in tiers
  • Someone stole my mood ring
  • I don’t know how I feel about that
  • I tried to catch fog yesterday
  • Mist
  • Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
  • If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan
  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrow too high
  • She looked surprised
  • I threw a boomerang a few years ago
  • I now live in constant fear
  • A guy shows up late for work. His boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8.30!”
  • The guy replies, “Why? What happened at 8.30?
  • To people who say, “My dog is my best friend.”
  • I say, “Your dog may be your best friend but will it pick you up from the airport? I think not.”

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Share the fun and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day.

So go on, please share this post now. If you could do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful.

Thank you.

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You’ll howl laughing at these 5 hilariously funny jokes

03/12/2023 by

HILARIOUSLY FUNNY JOKESIf you’re looking for some hilariously funny jokes, dear reader, then I’ve got 5 little gems for you today.

I’m confident they’ll all make you smile.

So take a few minutes to enjoy them all and brighten your day.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Hilariously funny jokes:

1. Getting to know your students:

It was the beginning of a new school year and the teacher was getting to know the children by asking them their names and what their fathers did for a living.

The first little girl to respond said, “I’m Mary and my dad’s a builder.”

Then another little girl spoke and said, “My name’s Louisa and my dad’s a police officer.”

The conversation went on like this as the teacher went around the class, until one little boy said, “I’m Jack and my dad’s a stripper in a gay bar.”

Naturally, the teacher was surprised by this comment and feeling slightly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking, she decided it might be better to change the subject.

A little later she spotted Jack in the schoolyard on his own. So the teacher approached him and asked if it was really true that his father worked as a stripper in a gay bar.

Jack’s face turned a little red as he replied, “No, he’s actually a banker but I was too embarrassed to admit that in front of the class.”

2. Bikers at the roadside diner:

Jeff was sitting quietly in a roadside diner enjoying his lunch when suddenly three mean-looking bikers walk in.

The first guy strolls over to Jeff and stubs a cigarette into his lunch.

The second biker then walks over and spits in Jeff’s coffee.

Finally, the third guy picks up Jeff’s plate and flings it crashing to the floor. Then he starts howling with laughter straight in Jeff’s face.

Jeff quietly gets to his feet and just leaves the diner.

The third biker walks across to the waitress who was standing behind the counter and sneers, “Well he wasn’t much of a man now was he?”

The waitress smiles and, glancing in the direction of the window, responds, “It looks like he wasn’t much of a driver either. He’s just backed his truck over those three motorcycles parked outside and trashed them all.”

3. The baseball game:

One day the Devil challenges God to a baseball game between teams from Heaven and Hell.

God smiled and said, “Hell wouldn’t have a chance.”

“Why?” queried the Devil.

“Oh Devil, come on now? I’ve got the greatest baseball players of all time. Hey, I’ve got Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle. I’ve even got the Yankee Clipper, Joe DiMaggio. Who have you got?” said God.

The Devil grinned and said, “Well God, impressive as your list is, I’ve still got all the umpires.”

4. The haircut:

Jim went into a barber’s shop that was advertising David Beckham-style haircuts.

Twenty minutes later, Jim looked in the mirror and he was shocked to see that looking back at him was a scalp erratically shaven and a head covered in cuts.

Naturally, Jim protested to the barber. Pointing to his head, Jim said, “Now listen to me buddy, this is not how David Beckham has his hair cut.”

“He would if he had his hair cut here,” the barber responded.

5. The nightwatchman:

The US Government-owned a scrapyard in the middle of the desert.

This was the source of some concern to Congress because the feeling was that people could steal from it.

So they decided to create the role of nightwatchman and someone was hired to do the job.

However, Congress was then concerned about how the night watchman could carry out his duties without instruction.

The solution to this dilemma was to create a planning department and two people were hired. One was hired to write instructions and the other to carry out time and motion studies.

Congress then had concerns about how they might measure whether the night watchman was doing his job effectively.

To address this problem they created a Quality Control department and hired two more people. One was hired to study job performance and the other to write reports.

Then Congress questioned how everyone was to get paid. To resolve this issue, two more people were hired; one as a timekeeper and one as a payroll officer.

However, that wasn’t the end of Congress’s concerns because the obvious question was, “Who is to be accountable for all these people?”

The solution was to create an Administration Department and hire three more people – an administration director, an administration officer, and a legal secretary.

A year went by and following a review Congress was concerned that this operation was $27,000 over budget. Naturally, they considered what could be done to reduce overall costs.

The solution agreed upon by Congress was to lay off the night watchman.

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HILARIOUSLY FUNNY JOKESI hope these hilariously funny jokes made you laugh dear reader.

However, perhaps you feel that you could use another laugh. If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here then please share this post with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support.

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