17 Quotes by Roald Dahl to get you thinking today

Today, I thought it would be interesting to explore some quotes by Roald Dahl.

Roald Dahl was born in Wales to affluent Norwegian immigrant parents and spent most of his life in England. He served in the Royal Air Force (RAF) during the Second World War.

He is best known worldwide as a novelist, short-story writer, poet, and screenwriter, and his books have sold more than 250 million copies globally.

Roald Dahl has been called one of the greatest storytellers for children of the 20th century. He rose to prominence as a writer in the 1940s with works for children and for adults, and he became one of the world’s best-selling authors.

His works for children include James and the Giant PeachCharlie and the Chocolate FactoryMatildaThe WitchesFantastic Mr FoxThe BFGThe TwitsGeorge’s Marvellous Medicine and Danny, the Champion of the World.

His works for older audiences include the short story collections Tales of the Unexpected and The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More.

Given his success, his words are worthy of reflection. So, take a few moments to read these 17 quotes by Roald Dahl.

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Quotes by Roald Dahl (1-10):

  1. A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
  2. Did they preach one thing and practice another, these men of God?
  3. A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom.
  4. Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous anymore.
  5. If my books can help children become readers, then I feel I have accomplished something important.
  6. Had I not had children of my own, I would have never written books for children, nor would I have been capable of doing so.
  7. The writer must force himself to work. He must make his own hours and if he doesn’t go to his desk at all there is nobody to scold him.
  8. My father was a Norwegian who came from a small town near Oslo. He broke his arm at the elbow when he was 14, and they amputated it.
  9. I shot down some German planes, and I got shot down myself, crashing in a burst of flames and crawling out, getting rescued by brave soldiers.
  10. The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it’s a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he’s broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it’s not a joke anymore.
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Quotes by Roald Dahl (11-17):

  1. A writer of fiction lives in fear. Each new day demands new ideas, and he can never be sure whether he is going to come up with them or not.
  2. I began to realize how simple life could be if one had a regular routine to follow with fixed hours, a fixed salary, and very little original thinking to do.
  3. Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours, he has been in a different place with totally different people.
  4. Pear Drops were exciting because they had a dangerous taste. All of us were warned against eating them, and the result was that we ate them more than ever.
  5. The adult is the enemy of the child because of the awful process of civilizing this thing that, when it is born, is an animal with no manners, and no moral sense at all.
  6. When you’re writing a book, with people in it as opposed to animals, it is no good having people who are ordinary, because they are not going to interest your readers at all. Every writer in the world must use characters that have something interesting about them, and this is even more true in children’s books.
  7. I find that the only way to make my characters really interesting to children is to exaggerate all their good or bad qualities, and so if a person is nasty or bad or cruel, you make them very nasty, very bad, very cruel. If they are ugly, you make them extremely ugly. That, I think, is fun and makes an impact.

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If any of these quotes touched you in some way, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

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Top 10 Tips for How to Manage Your Time

How to manage your time? A question that is frequently asked, but few actually manage to master the art of effective time management, in my experience.

If only I had time!” is an expression I hear constantly.

People will say to me, “Oh, I’d love to do that if only I had the time.

However, we all have exactly the same amount of time. We all have 168 hours each week, and it all comes down to how we make the best use of it. In other words, our priorities.

Time is our most precious resource, wouldn’t you agree, dear reader? Yet far too many people don’t use their time as wisely as they should.

So here are my top 10 tips for how to manage your time.

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How to manage your time:

1. Be in control: Just because someone makes a demand on your time, it doesn’t mean that you have to agree to it. You are the captain of your own ship and you should always be in control. And you’re mindset should always be, “I am in control of my life and if anyone wants a piece of my time then they’ll need to provide me with a very good reason as to why I should agree to their request.”

2. Keep your life and your desk free of clutter: Dealing with clutter just stresses you out, so be ruthless and get rid of it. You cannot work efficiently at a desk which is full of clutter. And you will waste so much time looking for things you need. So clear your desk and get rid of anything in your life that will prevent you from managing your time as efficiently as possible.

3. Be organized: A place for everything and everything in its place. If everything is in its place then you’ll know where to find it should you need it. And that reduces clutter and makes for a better environment in which to work, be it in the workplace or in your personal life.

4. Make lists: You need to plan your week and plan each day too. Write it all down so you won’t forget it. Having a weekly planner is a good idea. Knowing what needs to be achieved each week, allows you to identify ‘must do’ activities each day. At the end of each day make a list of what needs to be done the next day in order to achieve your objectives. And do not rest until your list has been completed each day.

5. Prioritize: Everything is urgent these days, so you have to identify those things that are important to you achieving your objectives. Those are then the activities on which you must focus. You should know your priorities and they are the things that will allow you to achieve your objectives and meet your deadlines.

6. Develop routines: Having a proper routine will allow you to get very efficient at what you do. For instance, rather than responding to emails as and when they arrive in your inbox, set aside two or three time windows each day when you will deal with email. That could be for exactly one hour at the beginning of each day; half an hour just before lunch and then say half an hour at the end of the day just before you leave your desk. Be very strict about these windows for dealing with email and don’t allow email to become a distraction at other times.

7. Set deadlines and stick to them: If you have a piece of work to complete, judge how long it will take, use that to set a deadline for completion and then focus on that work such that you complete it within your deadline.

8. Delegate whenever possible: You should only be doing those things which absolutely have to be done by you. If you are lucky enough to have people to whom you can delegate then make use of them as much as you possibly can.

9. Don’t procrastinate: Procrastination is the thief of time. If you have got something to do, then get on with it. Don’t mess around. The sooner you start the sooner you’ll finish.

10. Learn to say No: Master this skill and it is the biggest time saver of them all. Far too often we agree to do something for someone else simply because we don’t like saying no. It may not even be our responsibility but we do it anyway rather than say no. Always be polite but it is perfectly reasonable to say, “I’d love to help you but I’m busy right now.

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Bonus Timing Saving Tips:

Here are some useful time-saving tips that are often overlooked. Increasing your productivity will mean getting more done in less time. What’s not to like about that?

1. Use Keyboard Shortcuts: Learning and using keyboard shortcuts for your most-used software can significantly speed up your work. Whether it’s for operating systems, word processors, or specific applications, mastering these shortcuts reduces the time spent navigating menus and will increase your productivity.

2. Leverage Automation Tools: Utilize automation tools and apps like IFTTT (If This Then That) or Zapier to automate repetitive tasks. These tools can help with tasks like automatically saving email attachments to cloud storage, posting updates across social media platforms, or organizing files. Automation can save you countless hours in the long run.

3. Create Email Templates for Common Responses: If you find yourself frequently sending similar emails, create a set of templates for these common responses. This can save you a significant amount of time and ensure consistency in your communication. Most email clients have features that allow you to save and reuse templates with just a few clicks.

4. Batch Processing Similar Tasks: Instead of switching between different types of tasks throughout the day, try batching similar tasks together. For example, set specific times for answering emails, making phone calls, or doing administrative work. This reduces the mental load of constantly switching contexts and increases overall efficiency.

5. Set Up Quick Access for Frequently Used Files and Folders: Organize your digital workspace by creating shortcuts or bookmarks for frequently accessed files and folders. Whether it’s pinning important folders in your file explorer or bookmarking essential documents in your browser, having quick access can save you the hassle of searching through directories every time you need them.

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Master your time management skills:

Whilst this is not a comprehensive list, it’s a good basis on which to start improving your time management skills.

If you want to be successful then effective time management is an essential skill.

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5 funny short story jokes guaranteed to raise a laugh

Here are 5 funny short story jokes that I’m confident will make you laugh.

They all made me smile, so I hope you enjoy them too.

So take a few moments to relax and smile, and then feel free to pass them on.

FUNNY SHORT STORY JOKES
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Funny short story jokes:

1. Speed Cop:

Jim’s a police officer in Morristown, New Jersey.

One day he’s sitting in his squad car on Main Street when a car screams past him doing at least 100 miles an hour.

With blue lights flashing and sirens wailing, Jim chases after the car and pulls it over.

Jim approaches the car and says to the young driver, “Sir, please step out of the car for me.

But officer,” said the young man, “I can explain.”

Just be quiet!” snapped Jim. “Driving at dangerous speeds on Main Street is a felony. You’ll be cooling your heels in jail until the police chief gets back and decides what to do with you.

But officer,” the young man responded, “if you’d just let me explain.”

Once again, Jim snapped at him, “Be quiet! You’re going to jail.

A few hours later, Jim is checking on his prisoner in the holding cell at the station, and the guy is looking a little glum, to say the least. At this point, Jim is feeling a bit sorry for him.

Hey buddy,” says Jim, “don’t worry. Lucky for you, the police chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.

Don’t count on it,” said the young driver. “I’m the groom.”

2. Gambling Habit:

An anxious father met with his son’s school principal, as he was concerned about his son’s obsession with gambling.

All he ever wants to do is bet,” the father exclaimed to the principal. “He’ll bet on anything. Can you help me?

The principal considered his question for a moment, and then he said, “I’ll see what I can do.

A week later, the father met with the principal again to discuss progress.

I think I’ve cured him of his gambling habit,” the principal told the father.

Encouraged by this comment, the father asked, “How did you manage that?

Well, the other day, I noticed him looking at my beard, and he said, “Sir, I’ll bet you $10 that’s a false beard.”

And what happened then?” the father asked.

Simple, I took the bet, allowed him to tug my beard to prove it was real, and then I made him pay me the $10.” The principal responded. “He won’t do that again. He’ll have learned his lesson.”

I wouldn’t be so sure,” said the father. “The other day he bet me $50 that he’d tug at your beard with your permission before the end of the week.”

3. Sunday Service:

One Sunday morning, Pastor Michael told his congregation that the church needed money to repair the church roof and asked the people to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.

By way of encouragement, he said that whoever gave the most money would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed around, Pastor Michael glanced down, and he noticed that someone had placed a bundle of $100 bills in the offering, all bound with an elastic band.

Naturally, he was excited, and he shared his joy with his congregation.

I’d like to thank whoever placed this bundle in the offering personally,” said Pastor Michael. “There must be $1,000 here. Please make yourself known.

At this point, a small, elderly lady at the back of the church stood up and shyly raised her hand.

Mam,” said Pastor Michael, “we’re all so grateful to you. Please come down to the front.”

The little old lady slowly made her way to the front of the congregation, and Pastor Michael took her by the hand.

Naturally, he told her how wonderful it was that she had given so much, and as a thank you, he said, “By way of a reward, you now get to choose three hymns.”

Her eyes began to sparkle as she reflected momentarily and gazed around the congregation.

After a few moments of contemplation, she looked at Pastor Michael and then pointed to the three most handsome men in the church and said, “Right, I’ll take him and him and him.”

4. Divine justice:

Father Jeremy was a parish priest who was obsessed with playing golf.

He would be at a country club playing golf at every opportunity he got. It was a passion for him.

One summer Sunday, the weather was absolutely glorious, and he realised it was such a perfect day to play golf. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the temperature was really very pleasant.

Days are rarely better than this for playing golf,” Father Jeremy thought to himself.

This left him with a dilemma. For him, Sunday was a working day, of course, but perhaps he could report in sick and then play golf at the country club in the next town?

Well, his passion for golf got the better of him, and he phoned the curate to tell him he was sick and would not be able to take mass that day.

He then packed his clubs into his car and drove two hours to a country club where he was confident he would not be recognized.

By mid-morning Father Jeremy was standing at the first tee ready to play 18 holes.

Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and the angels are his eyes and ears. And as Father Jeremy was ready to tee off, one angel was watching him with concern.

The angel then went to God and said, “Look at that parish priest. He should be preaching to his congregation today, not playing golf.

God frowned at the angel and agreed that this was not what he’d expect from a parish priest on a Sunday.

Leave it to me,” said God.

At this point, Father Jeremy teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it glided effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup 250 yards away. It was a perfect hole-in-one.

Never before had Father Jeremy achieved such golfing perfection, so naturally, he was both amazed and very excited.

The angel looked on from above, and he was shocked. He turned to God and said, “Lord, I’m sorry, but I thought you said you were going to punish him.

I have,” said God.

How?” the angel responded.

God smiled and said, “Think about it. Who can he possibly tell about this now?

5. The helicopter ride:

Dan and his wife, Mary, went to the state fair every year.

And every year Dan would say to Mary, “You know, Mary, I would love to go for a ride in the helicopter.

Mary’s response was always the same.

I know that, Dan, but the helicopter ride costs $50, and let’s face it, $50 is $50.” Mary would say.

This went on for many years, and eventually, they were at the fair one year, and Dan said to Mary, “You know, Mary, I’m 87 now. If I don’t ride the helicopter this year, I may not get another chance. I ain’t got much time left.

Well, Mary had known hard times, so she could never be frivolous with money. Once again, her response was the same, “Dan, you know the helicopter costs $50, and $50 is $50.

Well, as they were talking, the helicopter pilot overheard their conversation.

Hey, listen folks,” he said, “I’ll offer you a deal. I’ll take you both for a ride in the helicopter, and if you can both stay completely quiet for the entire ride, then you can have it for free. However, you must not say a word. If you do say anything, you must pay the $50.”

Well, this sounded like a great deal to Dan and Mary, so naturally, they agreed, and up they went in the helicopter.

In an attempt to get them to say something, the pilot performed every fancy trick and move he knew, but they didn’t say a word.

To up the ante, the pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still, there wasn’t so much as one word spoken.

Finally, they landed, and the pilot turned to Dan and said, “Wow! I’ve got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn’t. I’m really impressed!

“Well, to be honest,” said Dan, “I almost said something when Mary fell out, but, you know, $50 is $50!

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Please share this post with your friends:

So did these funny short story jokes prove to be as funny as you’d hoped, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read, then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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10 hilarious jokes sure to make you laugh out loud

If you need a good laugh, and let’s face it, we all need a good laugh, then I have a collection of jokes just for you, dear reader. Here are 10 hilarious jokes sure to make you laugh out loud. 

Take a few moments to enjoy this batch of jokes because let’s face it, it would be wrong not to.

And remember, if they have you laughing, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

If you only do one thing today, then it must be to share the jokes and make people laugh. They’ll be glad you did.

HILARIOUS JOKES
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Hilarious jokes sure to make you laugh:

1. One man and his talking dog:

Jim walks into a New York bar with his dog Fido.

Jim walks right up to the bar, turns to face the seated customers and says, “This is my dog Fido, and believe it or not, he’s a talking dog. If I can demonstrate to you that Fido can answer any of my questions who will buy me a drink?

Listen, buddy, if you can demonstrate that Fido can talk, you can have a drink on the house,” says the bartender.

So Jim turns to Fido and asks, “What goes on the top of a house?

Roof!” Fido responds.

What does tree bark feel like?” asks Jim.

Rough!” says Fido.

Who was the greatest baseball player ever?” asks Jim.

Ruth!” says Fido.

The bartender is really unimpressed with what he’s hearing, and he snaps at Jim. “You’re a phoney buddy. We’re not fooled by any of that. You and your dog can get out of here right now. Go on, on your way!

As Jim and his dog are thrown out onto the street, Fido looks sadly at Jim and says, “What did I do wrong? Should I have said, Joe DiMaggio or Mickey Mantle?

2. The Thief and the Parrot:

A thief breaks into a house when he thinks no one will be at home.

He’s creeping carefully through the property, and as he steps into the lounge, he’s stopped dead in his tracks when he suddenly hears someone say very clearly, “Jesus is watching you!

He stands very still for a moment until everything in the house falls silent again. At this point, he moves forward very slowly.

Once again, he hears that voice, “Jesus is watching you!

The thief is now frightened out of his wits, and he stops once again to focus on locating the voice.

He’s looking around, peering into the darkness, when he spots a birdcage and in the birdcage is a parrot.

The thief looks the parrot in the eyes and asks, “Was that you who said, ‘Jesus is watching me’?

Yes”, said the parrot.

The thief relaxes and breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness for that”, he says to the parrot. “What’s your name?

The family here call me Ronald”, said the parrot.

Ronald? You cannot be serious!” laughs the thief. “What sort of family calls their pet parrot Ronald?

The sort of family that calls their ferocious Rottweiler guard dog Jesus,” the parrot responds.

3. Hospital banter:

Five surgeons are taking their lunch break and enjoying a little banter to relax. The conversation moves on quickly to the people they regard as the best patients.

The first surgeon says, “For me, it’s got to be accountants. They are the best people to operate on because when you open them up, everything on the inside is numbered.

The second surgeon responds, “No, I don’t agree. Librarians have to be the best people to operate on because everything inside them is in alphabetical order.

The third surgeon thinks for a minute, smiles and then he says, “Sounds like you’ve never operated on an electrician. When you open them up, you’ll find everything inside them is colour-coded!

The fourth surgeon laughs and says,” Well, personally, I prefer lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and butts are interchangeable.

The fifth surgeon has been quietly listening to the conversation so far when he’s asked by the others what he thinks.

Well, I like to operate on engineers because they’re always very understanding if I find myself with a few parts left over when the job’s done,” he says.

4. Talking dog for sale:

A couple is out for a walk when they notice a large sign outside a house that reads, “Talking Dog for Sale.

They are both intrigued by the idea of a talking dog, so they knock on the door and ask if they can take a look at this dog

Sure!” says the owner, “Come on in.

The owner escorts them into the lounge where the dog is lying on the sofa watching television.

Hello,” they say to the dog.

Hello,” the dog responds.

What have you done with your life so far then?” the couple asks the dog.

Well, actually, I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog.

Really?” says the couple.

Yes, really,” says the dog. “I’ve lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I work part-time reading to the residents in a retirement home.

The couple is amazed by this. They can’t believe any dog could have done quite so much.

One of them then asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of this amazing dog?

Oh, we’re getting rid of him because he’s a liar. He’s not done any of those things,” says the owner.

5. Miscommunication:

Jed goes into a public restroom, and he’s barely sat down in the cubicle when he hears a voice say, “Hi, how are you?

Feeling a little embarrassed, Jed says politely, “Well, I guess I’m doing fine, thank you!

The voice then responds, “So what are you up to?

Jed is even more embarrassed, but once again he responds politely, “Well, just like you, I’m sitting here trying to get a load off my mind.

He then hears the voice say, “Hey, can I come over?

Jed is now extremely embarrassed and starting to get slightly irritated too, so he snaps back, “Look, surely you understand I’m a bit busy right now!

At this point, he hears the voice say, “Jane, listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the next cubicle who keeps responding to all my questions!

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6. Two hunters:

Two hunters are out in the woods hunting bears when one of them suddenly collapses.

The other guy checks him over and realises that he’s not breathing and his eyes are a bit glazed. So he grabs his cell phone and immediately calls 911.

I think my friend’s dead!” he yells down the phone with panic in his voice. “What should I do?

Sir, if you can just calm down, I’ll help you,” says the operator calmly. “Let’s just make sure he’s dead first.

There’s then a moment of silence, followed by what is clearly a g*nshot.

Back on the phone, the guy then says to the operator, “Right, now what?

7. Cosmetic surgery:

Jill, a middle-aged woman, is having surgery in the hospital following a severe heart attack when she has a vision of God by her bedside.

Will I die, God?” she asks.

To which God responds, “No, my dear, you still have 30 more years to live yet.

Well, if she’s got 30 more years to look forward to and since she’s in hospital anyway, Jill decides she might as well make the most of her operation.

So she gets br**st implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, a hair transplant, and collagen injections in her lips. When it’s all finished and the bruises have healed, she looks absolutely stunning and 10 years younger.

The day she’s discharged from the hospital, she leaves the hospital with a real spring in her step. Feeling very good about her makeover, Jill steps into the street and is immediately knocked down by an ambulance and killed.

As she steps through the Pearly Gates, Jill sees God and decides to complain. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she says to God.

Well, that’s true,” says God.

So what happened?” Jill asks.

To which God shrugs and says, “I’m sorry, but I didn’t recognize you.

8. Kids are smarter than you think:

A young boy walks into a barber’s shop, and the barber whispers to the customer to whom he’s currently attending, “This kid has got to be the dumbest kid in the world. Watch and I’ll prove it to you.

The barber then puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then he says to the boy, “Hey kid, which do you want, the dollar bill or the quarters?”

The boy decides to take the quarters, and then he leaves the shop.

What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That dumb kid never learns!

Later, when the customer is leaving the barber’s shop, he sees the same kid coming out of the ice cream store.

Hey, kid! May I ask you a question?” asks the customer. “Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?

The boy licks his ice cream for a moment before saying, “Because the day I take the dollar bill, the game is over!

9. Classmates:

While waiting for her first appointment with her new dentist, Jane notices his degree certificate on the wall, which includes his full name.

Suddenly, Jane remembers a tall, handsome boy from her high school class some 45 years ago who had the same name. Naturally, she wonders whether this can be the same guy.

However, upon seeing him, she quickly dismisses any such thought. Surely this ageing, balding, grey-haired old man with a deeply lined face could not possibly be one of her old high school classmates?

After he had finished examining her teeth, Jane decided to ask him whether he attended the local high school.

Yes,” he replied.

That’s amazing. What year did you graduate then?” Jane asks.

In 1973,” he responds.

Amazing, you were in my class!” Jane exclaims.

He looks at her closely and then asks, “What subject did you teach?

10. The Monastery:

Every ten years in the monastery, the monks were allowed to break their vow of silence to speak just two words.

With ten years gone by, Brother Michael gets his first chance to speak.

He thinks for a second and then says, “Food bad.

Another ten years go by, and again Brother Michael has an opportunity to speak briefly and on this occasion, he says, “Bed hard.

A further decade later, it’s the big day once more. However, this time Brother Michael gives the head monk a long stare before saying, “I quit.

To which the head monk responds, “I’m not surprised. You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.

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So did these hilarious jokes make you laugh out loud? Were they all you hoped they’d be, dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, then please share it all with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

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11 quotes about gratitude to remind you its important

However hard life proves to be, being grateful is an essential element to achieving personal happiness. So this post offers you 11 quotes about gratitude to make you think.

All too often we fret about all the things we lack. And then we fail to appreciate fully all the good things in our lives.

So what do you do when you’re feeling negative about your life experiences?

Well, you should stop for a second or two and contemplate all those things for which you really should be grateful.

It can be as simple as the cup of coffee you’re enjoying or the lunch you have planned with a friend later in the week. Maybe you’re off to play football or simply to sit in the park to watch the world go by.

If you think hard enough and you think positively enough, then eventually you’ll see that there are things for which you can be grateful. They don’t have to be big or significant. They just need to be something that brings you pleasure, if only for a moment.

However bad you think your life might be, if you look around the world you’ll see that in comparison to many others, you’re quite lucky.

Yes, of course, there’ll be people with a bigger slice of life’s cake than you’ve got but so what? Does it matter? It’s not the size of your house that matters, it’s how happy is the home in which you live.

If you want to be happy it starts with a positive frame of mind and that starts with being grateful for whatever it is you’ve got, however small it may be.

So go on, be grateful and be happy. And contemplate these 11 quotes about gratitude now.

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Quotes about gratitude:

  1. Joy is the simplest form of gratitude. ~Karl Barth
  2. Always have an attitude of gratitude. ~Sterling K. Brown
  3. I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy. ~Will Arnett
  4. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. ~Melody Beattie
  5. I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness. It’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practising gratitude. ~Brené Brown
  6. As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them. ~John F. Kennedy
  7. Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all the others. ~Marcus Tullius Cicero
  8. Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. ~Brian Tracy
  9. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. ~Melody Beattie
  10. Thank you is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, and understanding. ~Alice Walker
  11. Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. ~William Arthur Ward
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How to stop worrying and start living

How to stop worrying and start living is a topic we would all do well to reflect on.

We all tend to worry a bit more than we should.

Worrying is natural, but it is rarely helpful. It just adds to our stress levels. And what’s the worst thing that can happen anyway?

And even if it did happen, would worrying have stopped it from happening?

Life’s too short to stress ourselves out with worry.

The question is, how do we stop ourselves from worrying? Well, consider this idea.

Dale Carnegie’s book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living is a very useful guide. This book is a great personal development text, and it’s well worth reading. I can strongly recommend it to you.

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How to stopworrying
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How to stop worrying:

However, until you have the chance to read it, this animated video provides a useful summary of the key ideas in the book.

So I can recommend you watch this video now and then read the book whenever you get the chance.

Further reading:

Readers serious about their own personal development will be keen to establish their own small library of motivational resources, I’m sure.

Dale Carnegie’s book would be an essential addition to any personal development library.

So, take action now. Check out How to Stop Worrying and Start Living while it’s fresh in your mind.

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21 common sayings and what they all mean

Common sayings, or proverbs, are simple sayings that express an essential truth based on common sense, experience, and/or the wisdom of the ancients.

Proverbs that describe a basic rule of conduct are particularly useful and well worth remembering.

Today, I offer you 21 thought-provoking proverbs and common sayings with an explanation as to what they all mean.

You would do well to remember some of these, I think.

21 COMMON SAYINGS
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Common Sayings:

1. Be contrary; be known

If you want to be successful, visibility matters. That means you must stand out in the crowd. And you can’t stand out in the crowd if you’re just like everyone else. You must be an original, not a copy.

2. Man who chases two rabbits catches neither

Learn to keep the main thing the main thing. Focus matters if you want to be successful. Try to do too many things, and you won’t do any of them very well. And if you fail to do anything well, then you’re unlikely to be successful.

3. Knowledge is power

Learning is a lifelong process, and you should be educating yourself constantly. However, there is a more important point here. When negotiating in business, the more you know about the other side, their needs, the pressures they’re under, and what they’re willing to pay and/or concede, the more likely you are to get what you want. Never underestimate the power of information.

4. When in Rome do as the Romans do

If you want to be successful in business around the world, then show some respect for other people and the way they do things. Culture is simply the way things are done around here. No one culture is better than another. They are just different, that’s all. So just because something might appear odd relative to what is considered ‘normal’ in your culture doesn’t make it wrong. Embrace differences and enjoy every new cultural experience.

5. Fortune favours the brave

If you want to live life to the full, then it starts outside your comfort zone. Go for the low-hanging fruit and the easy tasks, and you won’t grow. Fail to take any risks, and you’re unlikely to experience any significant rewards either. You can only be successful if you go after what you really want, and that means you must take a few risks along the way. Remember this: risk and reward go together.

6. Hope for the best; prepare for the worst

If you want to be successful, then be prepared for the rain because occasionally it will rain. Hope for permanent sunshine by all means, but make sure you’re ready for the days when the sun refuses to shine and you need an umbrella.

7. A picture’s worth a thousand words

To be successful, being able to communicate effectively is an important skill to develop. That means you need to know how to get a message across, and often the most powerful way to deliver a message and make a point is often with a picture.

8. There’s no such thing as a free lunch

Everything comes with a price tag. There will always be a cost somewhere, even if it’s not immediately apparent. The cost may not be financial, but there will be a cost. Make sure you know what it is and make sure you’re willing to pay the price before you agree to anything.

9. Actions speak louder than words

Talk is cheap. It’s not what you say; it’s what you do and what you deliver that will make a difference. And if you want to be successful, then you will need to make a difference.

10. Practice makes perfect

Every master began as a complete beginner. Mastery is achieved by becoming a student of your craft and practising constantly until you are the best at what you do. And if you want to be successful, then you will need to be amongst the best at what you do.

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11. Easy come; easy go

You will only truly appreciate that which has cost you in blood, sweat, and tears. Any success obtained easily is difficult to sustain. Easy money is easily squandered. It’s almost like you feel you’re not entitled to it if it all came too easy to you.

12. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure

As they say in the north of England, ‘There’s brass in muck’. Meaning just because something appears to be no longer of use doesn’t mean it can’t be put to good use and can’t represent an excellent business opportunity. Old furniture can be restored. An old bicycle frame can be used in the making of some other item. Money can be made from the oddest things and, believe it or not, even from plain old rubbish.

13. Familiarity breeds contempt

If your career is starting to gain traction and you’ve been promoted to management, then remember this: there must always be a little bit of distance between you and the troops you manage. You cannot be too familiar with people you manage if you want their respect. Yes, take an interest in people. Yes, show them you care occasionally. However, you can’t be their buddy. That doesn’t work.

14. Don’t judge a book by its cover

First impressions can be powerful, and often they can be accurate too. However, they’re not always accurate, so it is dangerous to form an opinion based on your first impression alone.

15. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

When it comes to money and savings, diversity is the name of the game. As you become successful, a good income should follow. Make sure you start building some capital, and make sure you spread it around a bit. Put all your financial eggs in one basket, and calamity could follow.

16. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil

Don’t be afraid to complain when things aren’t right. If you want something resolved, be prepared to make a noise. Wait patiently, and you’re unlikely to find anyone keen to help you. They’re all too busy. Sometimes you need to be a nuisance if you’re going to get attention.

17. Honesty is the best policy

The problem with telling lies is that you need to have a very good memory, and it’s very easy to get caught out. Tell the truth, and you don’t need to remember anything. All you have to do is say exactly what happened or what you said, et cetera. Being honest makes life easier, and it also makes it less stressful.

18. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink

There is only so much you can do for people. Offer to help them by all means, but if they choose not to accept your offer, then just leave it there. You can’t force someone to do something, nor can you force them to accept your help or advice.

19. Keep friends close and enemies closer

There’s no point in fighting with your enemy. That won’t get you very far. It’s better to adopt cordial relations to keep them close. Keep them close, and you can keep an eye on them. That way, you’ll know what they’re up to and know what they’re planning too. Use your head, not your heart, in these matters.

20. Two heads are better than one

It is a fact that when people get their heads together, the results are usually much better than one person’s thinking alone. Particularly with creative work, ideas bounce off each other, and as those ideas come together, the results can be exceptional.

21. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Treat other people in the way you’d prefer them to treat you. Show them respect, and you’re much more likely to get their respect. Don’t be mean to people. You wouldn’t like it, and neither will they. People will respond warmly to you if you are warm and kind to them.

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21 Quotes by Oscar Wilde that are sharp and witty

Today I am exploring quotes by Oscar Wilde.

Do you enjoy a memorable quote, dear reader?

Do you want to improve your understanding of the human condition?

As a result of his many memorable quotes, Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde left us with a wealth of sharp and witty observations about life and the human condition.

To illustrate the point, today I offer you 21 quotes by Oscar Wilde.

Oscar Wilde’s witty observations usually come with an essential truth at their core, and they’re both enlightening and entertaining.

For me, his quotes are some of the best you’ll read anywhere.

So, take a minute to read them, and inevitably you’ll reflect on life’s meaning, and you might just develop a better understanding of the human condition too.

Quotes by Oscar Wilde can be useful when you need to reinforce a message in a presentation. So, why not see how many of them you can work into your day?

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Quotes by Oscar Wilde (1-10):

  1. True friends stab you in the front.
  2. Only the shallow know themselves.
  3. The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
  4. Women are made to be loved, not understood.
  5. Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
  6. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
  7. Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by mediocrities.
  8. Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
  9. When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.
  10. I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.

Quotes by Oscar Wilde (11-21):

  1. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
  2. The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. I can resist everything but temptation.
  3. Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
  4. There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about.
  5. There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
  6. It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.
  7. Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.
  8. When men love women they give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.
  9. Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
  10. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
  11. Education is an admirable thing but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
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32 amusing quotes by Phyllis Diller

The late Phyllis Ada Driver, or Phyllis Diller as she’s better known to comedy fans, was one of America’s greatest comic talents.

She was an actress and stand-up comedian with an eccentric stage persona.

Self-deprecating humour, wild hair, zany clothes, and an exaggerated, cackling laugh were her stock in trade.

Phyllis Diller was a hilarious lady and one who is greatly missed by fans of good comedy everywhere.

So today I thought it might be quite interesting to explore some of her quotes and observations.

Here are 32 quotes by Phyllis Diller that should make you smile.

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Quotes by Phyllis Diller (1-21):

  1. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
  2. I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing.
  3. His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
  4. You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
  5. Aim high, and you won’t sh**t your foot off.
  6. I buried a lot of my ironing in the backyard.
  7. My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
  8. The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
  9. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
  10. Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
  11. You know you’re old if your walker has an airbag.
  12. Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
  13. Life is a do-it-yourself kit; so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
  14. My photographs don’t do me justice. They just look like me.
  15. You know you’re old if they’ve discontinued your blood type.
  16. A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
  17. I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in ‘What’s That?’
  18. Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
  19. Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.
  20. I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’
  21. The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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Quotes by Phyllis Diller (22-32):

  1. I’ve been asked to say a couple of words about my husband. How about short and cheap?
  2. The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
  3. I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
  4. Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
  5. You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
  6. Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
  7. I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
  8. This man I was going out with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas but he gave me a bowling ball.
  9. Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, ‘I’ll tell you something you do that irritates me if you tell me something I do that bothers you,’ never ends in a hug and a kiss.
  10. To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbour. Neighbours always return pans spotless, and you won’t have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.
  11. This woman goes into a gun shop and says, ‘I want to buy a gun for my husband.’ The clerk says, ‘Did he tell you what kind of gun?’ ‘No,’ she replied. ‘He doesn’t even know I’m going to sh**t him’.

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15 witty quotes by Joan Rivers to raise a smile

To comedy lovers everywhere, the late Joan Alexandra Molinsky is better known as the legendary Joan Rivers.

Razor-sharp and very funny, Joan Rivers was arguably one of the finest American stand-up comedians of all time in what was probably the golden age of light entertainment.

Through the strength of her personality, she succeeded in an age when it was even tougher for a woman to get a break in an industry dominated by powerful men. In that, she remains a role model for women everywhere.

Joan Rivers pioneered her brand of irreverent, unconventional comedy, and her relentless work ethic allowed her comedy to evolve and her audiences to continue to grow. She was a remarkable lady and one who always made me laugh. She was a lady always willing to say what other people were thinking, however inappropriate others may have considered that to be.

Here are 15 witty quotes by Joan Rivers, which will make you smile, I’m sure.

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Quotes by Joan Rivers (1-10):

  1. I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. ~Joan Rivers
  2. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. ~Joan Rivers
  3. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. ~Joan Rivers
  4. Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. ~Joan Rivers
  5. There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. ~Joan Rivers
  6. Never floss with a stranger. ~Joan Rivers
  7. I have flabby thighs but fortunately, my stomach covers them. ~Joan Rivers
  8. I think anyone who’s perfectly happy isn’t particularly funny. ~Joan Rivers
  9. We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us. ~Joan Rivers
  10. People say that money is not the key to happiness but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. ~Joan Rivers
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Quotes by Joan Rivers (11-15):

  1. I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor. ~Joan Rivers
  2. I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again. ~Joan Rivers
  3. Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I’m being funny, but I’m reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we’re going down the tube. ~Joan Rivers
  4. I never dwell on what happened. You can’t change it. Move forward. Don’t waste your energy on being angry at something that somebody did six months ago or a year ago. It’s over. Done. Move forward. ~Joan Rivers
  5. I walk on a stage, and I know if it’s been a good show or not. You know when it’s been a good interview. No one has to tell you. You know it. You feel it. You can feel the air. You can feel everything about it when it’s a good show. And you know when you’ve messed up. ~Joan Rivers
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