57 Funny Inspirational Quotes to amuse and get you thinking

Today I am exploring funny inspirational quotes, and I’ve unearthed some gems for you, dear reader.

What could be better than quotes that will amuse and make you think?

I’ve curated these just for you, dear reader. I hope you enjoy them all.

If you do, please feel free to share them.

Funny Inspirational Quotes

You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~Henry Youngman
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. ~Mae West
We survive by trading value. Without value to trade, we’re screwed. ~Lucius B. Wack
Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid. ~John Wayne
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? ~Edward Bergen
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar. ~Drew Carey
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. ~Henry Kissinger
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. ~Douglas Adams
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is having to look for a job the next day. ~Phyllis Diller
You get out of life what you put in. True, that’s a drag, but nothing’s for free. ~Betsy Plumb
If it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth it. ~Dennis Wilson
By working faithfully for eight hours a day, you may eventually become a boss and work 12 hours a day. ~Robert Frost
The road to success is always under construction. ~Lily Tomlin
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. ~Reba McEntire
When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what? ~Sydney J. Harris
I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road. ~Stephen Hawking
A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. ~Graham Norton
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain
What am I scared of? I’m scared of the same thing that you are: everything. ~George Costanza, Seinfeld
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. ~Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. ~Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. ~Robert Orben
Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that. ~George Carlin
No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early. ~Groucho Marx
If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock. ~Claude MacDonald
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. ~Vince Lombardi
Whatever you do, always give 100% — unless you’re donating blood. ~Bill Murray
Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it. ~Katharine Whitehorn
Be like a postage stamp; stick to one thing until you get there. ~Josh Billings
Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring. ~Steve Maraboli
The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph! ~Marvin Phillips
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. ~Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
Why, sometimes I’ve believed six impossible things before breakfast. ~Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Well, nobody’s perfect. ~Some Like It Hot (1959)
I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere. ~National Lampoon’s Van Wilder (2002)
You want to get out of the hole? First, you’re going to have to put down the shovel. ~Incredibles 2 (2018)
A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have. ~Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. ~Elbert Hubbard
Life is hard. After all, it kills you. ~Katharine Hepburn
Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we’d better laugh at everything; otherwise, we’re going down the tube. ~Joan Rivers
True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway. ~Edna Buchanan
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you, saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’ ~Groucho Marx
We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits. ~William Somerset Maugham
Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with. ~Robert Brault
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one! ~C.S. Lewis
You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal. ~Elizabeth Taylor
A true friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though they know that you are slightly cracked. ~Bernard Meltzer
Friendship is like money—easier made than kept. ~Samuel Butler
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. ~Richard Jeni
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? ~Lily Tomlin
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. ~Charles M. Schulz
Yes, life is hard. Didn’t your parents warn you? ~Lucius B. Wack
If I’d known I’d live to this age, I’d have taken better care of myself. ~Author Unknown