If you’re looking for some classic TV quotes, then today I’ve curated some great ones for you. From some of the best sitcoms of all time, in my opinion.
So, please take a few moments to enjoy them all.
And feel free to share them.
Classic TV Quotes:
1. TV Quotes from Friends: Life in Central Perk
- Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it. — Monica Geller (Courteney Cox)
- It’s not that common; it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal! — Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston)
- Could I be wearing any more clothes? — Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc)
- I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? — Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry)
- Oh, I’m sorry. Did my back hurt your knife? – Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow)
- Pivot! PIVOT!! — Ross Geller (David Schwimmer)
2. TV Quotes from Seinfeld: A show about nothing
- You know how to take the reservation. You just don’t know how to hold the reservation. — Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld)
- I’m speechless. I am without speech. — George Costanza (Jason Alexander)
- Maybe the dingo ate your baby. — Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus)
- You want a Christmas card? HERE, here’s your Christmas card! — Elaine, again.
- The sea was angry that day, my friends—like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. — George Costanza
- No soup for you! — Soup N*zi (Larry Thomas)
3. TV Quotes from Frasier: Highbrow wit
- You have the wit of a rutabaga. — Frasier Crane (Kelsey Grammer)
- We’re psychiatrists. We’re supposed to be above this kind of petty squabbling. But we’re not! — Niles Crane (David Hyde Pierce)
- When I say ‘I understand,’ I don’t mean I agree. I mean, I understand you’re insane. — Frasier Crane
- You know, I don’t know how you do it. I’m serious. It takes a special kind of person to be this thoroughly irritating. — Roz Doyle (Peri Gilpin)
- Do you hear that? That’s the sound of you being wrong. — Niles Crane
4. TV Quotes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Sharp
- Yo, homes, smell ya later! — Will Smith (Will Smith)
- You have as much chance of winning as Uncle Phil has of getting skinny. — Will Smith
- Hillary, I’ve seen salads dress better than you. — Geoffrey (Joseph Marcell)
- You so ugly, when you were born, the doctor slapped your mama! — Will Smith
- Carlton, your mama is so fat, when she sits around the house—she sits around the house. — Will Smith
- You couldn’t get a date if you had a calendar factory. — Geoffrey
5. TV Quotes from The Nanny: Queen of Queens
- I’m not going to die. I still have 14 pairs of shoes I haven’t worn yet! — Fran Fine (Fran Drescher)
- I’ve always said I was an accident waiting to happen, and now I’m happening! — Fran Fine
- You’re not a morning person. You’re barely a person. — Niles (Daniel Davis)
- I told you I don’t get out of bed for anything less than a sample sale. — Fran Fine
- Is that your new perfume? Eau de desperation? — C.C. Babcock (Lauren Lane)
6. TV Quotes from 3rd Rock from the Sun: Alien wit
- We may be aliens, but we don’t date losers. — Sally Solomon (Kristen Johnston)
- You are a deeply disturbed and deeply boring man. — Dick Solomon (John Lithgow)
- It’s not that you’re unimportant… okay, yes, it is. — Tommy Solomon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt)
- You’re like if awkward were a person. — Harry Solomon (French Stewart)
7. TV Quotes from Home Improvement: Manly wit
- I don’t think so, Tim. — Al Borland (Richard Karn)
- Real men don’t use instructions. — Tim Taylor (Tim Allen)
- Why fix it if you can overdo it? — Tim Taylor
- Sometimes I wonder why I married you. Then I remember: oh yeah, you were good-looking… once. — Jill Taylor (Patricia Richardson)
8. TV Quotes from Will & Grace: Friendship banter
- Honey, I don’t need to insult you. Your wardrobe does it for me. — Karen Walker (Megan Mullally)
- Grace, if you were any gayer, you’d be me. — Jack McFarland (Sean Hayes)
- The only straight thing about me is my razor. — Jack McFarland
- I’m rich. I don’t need to be nice. — Karen Walker
Please share this post with your friends:
If you enjoyed these classic TV quotes, please share this post with your friends on social media.
When you share, everyone wins.
So please share it now. If you can do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful. You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience. So that would be your good deed for the day.
If you fancy some laughs, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.
I appreciate your support, dear reader. Thank you.
Affiliate Disclosure: This site is an affiliate of Expedia and related companies. This means that if you click on the link and make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products or services that I think will be valuable to you. Any commissions earned help support the content I create.
Articles you might enjoy:
- 56 sharp, witty, and sarcastic comebacks sure to raise a laugh
- Funny insults from TV comedy shows
- 25 Funny TV Show Quotes & Comedy Film Quotes too
- 35 funny quotes about life guaranteed to make you smile
- Wedded Wit: 50 Funny Jokes About Marriage
- 25 clever one-liners that’ll make you smile
- 30 brilliant one-liner quotes that’ll make you smile
- 33 very clever one liners guaranteed to make you smile
- 30 silliest jokes ever that’ll tickle your funny bone
- 35 short but brilliant one-liner quotes you’ll love
- 33 funny jokes for 5-year-olds that’ll tickle adults too
- 25 witty one-liner jokes that might just make you smile
- 20 classic Elaine Benes quotes that’ll make you smile
- 15 amusing quotes by Spike Milligan to raise a smile
- 19 Best Homer Simpson quotes that’ll make you smile
- 21 Del Boy quotes for fans of Only Fools and Horses
- 15 amusing quotes by Mae West to make you smile
- 15 Very Funny One-Liners by Billy Connolly
- 37 funny comebacks for dealing with rude people
- 21 witty short jokes to tickle you and brighten your day
- The 30 best bitchy comments that’ll really make you smile
- 31 great quotes from Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm
- 15 amusing quotes by Jerry Seinfeld to brighten your day
© Mann Island Media Limited 2025. All rights reserved.