If you’re looking for some simple advice for young people, then here are some of the things I wish I had known when I was 18.
Learn these lessons as soon as you can. As you travel along life’s highway, I think you’ll find them all useful.
1. Be kind
It’s easy to make judgements about people, and we’re all guilty of doing it, at least occasionally.
The problem is that none of us knows what challenges other people are facing in their lives at any given time. Some people can have very tough lives, and they may be struggling. It’s not always obvious to the rest of us.
So be kind to everyone you meet. It costs you nothing, but it can mean the world to someone who’s facing a particularly difficult time in their life.
2. Value friendship
Our friends and loved ones are our most precious possessions.
Work is important, of course, but it’s not as important as people. If you were to drop dead tomorrow, an employer would replace you in a heartbeat. However, you can’t be replaced by the people to whom you matter most.
So value friendships and family, and make sure you make time for them. Never be too busy working to miss out on spending some quality time with your friends and family.
If you’re ever seriously ill, it will be your friends and loved ones who take care of you, not your employer.
3. Value your time
Now, you’ll often hear someone say, “Oh, I would love to do that if only I had the time.”
And yet we all have exactly the same amount of time, i.e. 168 hours each week.
It all comes down to what we choose to do with our time and how we prioritise those things that matter to us most.
Time is simply a resource like money, although it’s more important than money. You can get more money, but you can’t get more time, can you? None of us can do that, can we?
So you must learn to use your time wisely. Time is a precious resource, so you must develop effective time management skills.
You must recognise that you can’t do everything, but you can be selective about what you choose to do, within reason.
High-value tasks should always take precedence over low-value tasks.
Remember this: the most effective time management tool is the word NO.
Just because people ask you for a piece of your time, it doesn’t mean you’re obliged to give it to them. Be very selective about how you allocate your time.
Think of the word NO as a baseball bat.
Whenever someone makes a request that would not be the best use of your time, then NO is the means by which you can whack that request right out of the ballpark. Always be polite, of course, but be firm too.
Being busy is not the same as being productive. And your aim, always, should be to be productive.
Check out my Top 10 Tips for How to Manage Your Time.
4. Mindset matters
Whether you realize it or not, your mindset matters, and by that, I mean, it matters a lot. When I refer to mindset, I’m referring to how you think, your attitude, and whether you’re positive by nature or otherwise.
You’ll never experience a positive outcome with a negative attitude. And you’ll never, ever impress anyone with a negative attitude either. No one is impressed by negativity, trust me. And no one wants to spend much time around negative people either.
There’s an old saying, “Believe you can and you will!”
This is true in my experience.
Succeeding at anything requires you to believe in yourself and believe you can achieve anything you set out to achieve.
Yes, you’ll have setbacks. Everyone does. It’s true; it won’t be easy. It never is. And it doesn’t matter what others think. There will always be negative people trying to rain on your parade.
As long as you believe you can and you’re determined and prepared to work hard, almost everything is possible. Other people succeed, and so can you.
So think positively and take every opportunity to reinforce your self-belief.
And take care of your mental well-being too, by avoiding negative people and all the exaggerated scare stories we see and hear constantly in the media.
5. Never fear making mistakes
The problem with classroom learning is that much of it depends on learning facts and figures and regurgitating everything you’ve memorized in an exam. At the end of it all, you get your certificate, diploma, or degree, but what have you learned? Probably not much, I would guess.
Remember this: memorizing is not the same as learning.
The other way we’re often misled when we‘re young is that we’re told that making mistakes is a bad thing. That’s rather sad because it’s not true.
What you will learn from the mistakes you make is far more important to you than anything anyone can tell you in a classroom. You’ll never forget those things you’ve had to learn the hard way.
Life isn’t called the ‘School of Hard Knocks’ for nothing.
If you believe in yourself and your ability to use your judgement and accept that you’ll make mistakes occasionally, then you can cope with just about everything life throws at you.
Just make decisions to the best of your ability and knowledge, and then, if they don’t work out, just look for the lesson and learn it well.
Despite anything people will tell you to the contrary, there’s nothing wrong with making mistakes because that’s how you gain experience, and that’s how you’ll grow in character. Just don’t make the same mistakes too often.
Making mistakes is how you gain that valuable commodity known as experience, so they’re essential to your personal development.
6. Read more
In the modern age, a good education is essential. That doesn’t mean you must have a formal education, necessarily. Classroom learning doesn’t suit everyone, and there are many ways to learn.
One of the best ways to learn in my experience is to read.
Read all the critically acclaimed novels by the most respected authors. And not just authors from your own country. Read novels from writers around the world. Translations for the best novels are always available in many languages.
Read non-fiction too. The reading of non-fiction is the basis for self-improvement.
If there are subjects that you find interesting, then by reading, you can become an authority on those subjects over time. And becoming an authority is a great way to increase your earning potential.
In my experience, the most successful people are all readers. So make sure you set aside at least 30 minutes each day to read.
Read one book a week, and over the course of a year, you’ll have consumed an enormous amount of knowledge.
And remember, learning is a lifelong process. You must keep learning for as long as you have the energy to pick up a book.
And if personal time pressures limit your ability to consume books, then here are two alternatives to make the process a little bit easier:
(a) Blinkist:
If you haven’t got enough time to read non-fiction books, you could try Blinkist.
Blinkist is a great way to consume book summaries to get core insights on relevant topics without all the details. And you can read or listen.
So you get all the key ideas from non-fiction bestsellers in minutes, rather than hours or days. And they have a library of over 5,000 non-fiction books
Not only that, Blinkist has teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from popular podcasts too.
So in as little as 15 minutes, you can gain an understanding of the content of a best-selling book or a popular podcast.
Blinkist is self-improvement done the smart way. So, turn your smartphone into a classroom and your commute to work into a learning experience.
Consume one book a day with Blinkist and in one year you’ll have consumed a PhD’s worth of knowledge and made yourself a much more valuable commodity.
And you can sign up for a FREE TRIAL. So you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose by trying it. So go on, do it now.
DISCLOSURE: This website is a Blinkist Partner. Should you click on a link and then subscribe to Blinkist, the website owners will receive a small commission. Such commissions serve only to cover the cost of operating this site. There will be no additional cost to you. Your understanding and support are truly appreciated, dear reader. Thank you.
(b) Audible:
Audible is another great way of consuming books. With Audible, you get the full book, but in audiobook form.
Essentially, Audible is an online audiobook and podcast service that allows users to purchase and stream audiobooks and other forms of spoken word content.
And there’s a FREE 30-day trial offer.
So you can try it for a month and see if you like it, with absolutely no commitment to extend beyond the trial period if it doesn’t suit you.
Listen to the world’s bestselling books and enjoy original podcasts too. You can choose from an incredible selection of Audible originals, podcasts, and audiobooks to download. It’s worth trying, surely?
Sign up for the FREE 30-day trial offer today.
Audible is another great way to turn your smartphone into a learning tool and turn your dead time into productive time. In your car and when you’re commuting to work on the bus or train, you can build your knowledge or enjoy bestselling novels in audiobook form.
So go on, sign up for the FREE 30-day trial offer today.
DISCLOSURE: This website is an Audible affiliate. Should you click on a link and then subscribe to Audible, the website owners will receive a small commission. Such commissions serve only to cover the cost of operating this site. There will be no additional cost to you. Your understanding and support are truly appreciated, dear reader. Thank you.
7. Write more
As a younger man, I always had a problem with writing. I never quite knew what to say or how to say it.
It left me feeling slightly inadequate and believing that this was just something at which I was very bad.
As I progressed up the career ladder, I struggled with the written word for quite a while. I didn’t realise that my real problem was a lack of practice.
However, I’ve learned over the years that the more I practise writing, the better I get at it. I may not be perfect, but I’m a lot better at it now than I was, that’s for sure.
Being able to express yourself clearly and concisely in writing is an essential skill to develop, and the best way to develop it is to practise, practise and practice some more.
Writing is about communication, and communication is one of the most important skills for you to develop if you have any ambition for getting on in life.
Take every opportunity you have to write. Start a blog, write for a magazine, or write to a pen pal; just do whatever it takes.
The more you write, the better you’ll get, I promise you.
8. Practise public speaking
Speaking in front of a crowd, even a small one, can be daunting, especially for the first time.
However, this is another skill best developed with practice.
It’s also a skill that is essential the higher up the career ladder you progress.
So take every opportunity to practise. Read a lesson at your local church, join the Toastmasters, become an after-dinner speaker, or do whatever you can to get plenty of practice.
It’s another essential skill that is best developed early in life.
9. You’re not your job
Whenever we meet someone new, we’re often asked what we do for a living.
Our response to that question is that we’re a lawyer, an engineer, an accountant, or whatever. This can lead us to think that our identity is defined by what we do for a living at the present time.
And indeed, other people can often pigeonhole us in their perception of us based on what they think we actually do for a living.
However, we all have many dimensions to our personalities, and we’re not defined by our jobs alone.
I may be an engineer, but I’m also a businessman. Equally, I’m a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a cousin, a friend, a blogger, a Samaritan, et cetera.
And I’ve been many things in the past too, including a board director, a student, I’ve worked in retail, I’ve worked in the gaming industry, I was once a school caretaker, I’ve lived and worked in many countries, and so on.
I’m a multidimensional person, and so is everyone else.
We’re the sum of all the things we are, all the things we’ve done, and all the experiences we’ve had.
Our identities are not, and should not, be limited by the job we’re doing at any given time.
10. Learn to manage money
The problem with classroom learning is that very little of what you learn at school, college, or university is of much real use to you once you leave the formal education system.
They teach you about things you’ll never use, and yet they fail to teach you about things that will matter to you in the real world.
Things you’ll never learn at school include:
- What constitutes a decent income?
- How to earn a decent income?
- How to budget to cover your outgoings
- How to apply for a mortgage
- What is insurance, what does it cost, and why do you need it?
- The difference between saving and investing.
- Asset classes and how to invest?
- How to build wealth and financial independence.
You must learn how to manage money. And you must learn as much as you can about money as soon as you can.
Being young, it’s very easy for the money coming into your life to disappear as quickly as it arrives. However, I can tell you that mismanaging your money is the way to the poor house. Your primary aim should be learning to manage your money effectively and building wealth.
The building of wealth is the way to financial independence. And once you’re financially independent, you get to choose what you do and when you do it.
11. Know when to walk away
Sometimes things just don’t work out. You try hard to make them work, and you do your very best. However, at some point, you have to recognise that investing any more time and effort into a given activity is simply not the right thing to do.
If something just isn’t working for whatever reason, then it’s better for everyone if you just draw a line under it and move on.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s a job or a bad relationship. If it’s making you unhappy, if you just can’t make it work, then you don’t need any other reason to decide that enough is enough.
Yes, your decision may cause some upset at the time, but everyone will be happier in the long term.
Never be afraid to move on when you think it’s necessary.
12. Find a mentor
When you’re young and starting your career, you don’t have to make all the mistakes yourself.
It’s a legitimate strategy to learn as much as you can from the experience of others. I wish I’d found myself a decent mentor early on.
An experienced, non-judgmental, friendly ear with whom problems and their potential solutions can be explored regularly.
Find yourself a decent mentor as quickly as possible.
Having a mentor is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength and a sign that you’re willing and able to learn from others.
Learning is a lifelong process. No one starts as the finished article. And anything you can learn from a wiser, older head can only help you navigate the choppy waters of life and work.
And don’t be afraid to ask someone to be your mentor. If nothing else, they’ll be flattered you asked, and they’ll probably be keener to help you than you might imagine.
13. Trust your instincts
Your gut instinct is a better barometer than you might imagine, too.
If it feels wrong, it usually is wrong. Certainly, it’s likely to be wrong for you.
Then again, regardless of anything negative you’re getting from other people, if your instinct says you can do it, give it a go. Chances are you will succeed.
Your gut instinct is your friend.
14. Rise to the challenge
As we negotiate the stormy road that’s life, the challenges we face can often seem daunting. And we can often wish for something a little easier.
However, by rising to the challenges we face, we grow as people. We learn, and we build experience. And as suggested earlier, experience is a valuable commodity.
If we’re solving the hardest problems, we’ll be stretching ourselves as much as we can.
We add value to others and therefore increase our income by solving problems for them.
If you become the ‘go-to’ person for solving the hardest problems, then you can earn a very good living, I promise you.
Don’t be afraid to tackle the hardest problems. You can only gain from the experience.
15. Nurture your network
There’s an old saying that says, No man is an island. Human beings are social animals, and we need each other. Your network of friends and business contacts is important, and it can be beneficial to you.
However, it’s not about take, take, take.
A network must be nurtured, and you must give before you can reasonably expect to receive. By doing favours occasionally, you’ll always get help when you need it.
So value your network, help people when you can, socialise with people, and take the time to build lasting relationships.
16. Schedule some ‘me time’
Life can be all-consuming if you’re not careful. When you have a demanding job and a family, it can all be quite stressful at times.
You can burn out very quickly if you’re not careful.
Work and family are important, of course, but that shouldn’t mean you damage your health and well-being or your relationship with your family in the process.
So make sure you factor into your schedule a little ‘me time’ regularly. And make time for your loved ones, too.
It’s not just a good idea; it’s essential.
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