5 of the best funny jokes you’ll read today

02/14/2026 by

Looking for some of the best funny jokes to brighten your day? Then there are 5 little gems here that should make you smile.

Enjoy them all, and please feel free to share them.

Best Funny Jokes
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Best funny jokes:

1. Career change:

Bill’s a gynaecologist by profession, but he was getting bored with his job, so he decided that it was time for a career change.

In his spare time, Bill had always had a passion for fast cars, so getting involved with cars in some way seemed like a good thing to do.

After a few weeks of reflection, Bill decides to retrain as a car mechanic.

He takes a course at his local adult education college and studies very hard.

Eventually, it’s time for him to take the official examination to qualify as a car mechanic.

Now Bill needs to get a minimum score of 60% if he’s to pass the exam but he finishes with a score of 110%.

Well, the college principal is puzzled. How can anyone get 110%?

So, he calls in the examiner and asks, “How is it that this guy was given 110% in the exam? You think he’s something special just because he used to be a doctor?”

“Well, sir,” said the examiner, “his theoretical test was perfect, and his practical test was exceptional. I asked him to tune the engine. He did it perfectly. I asked him to change the oil. Again, he did it perfectly. And then I asked him to change the spark plugs. Yet again, he did it perfectly.”

“So what?” says the principal. “He did everything right, so that usually means 100%, surely? Why 110%?”

“He did everything through the exhaust pipe,” the examiner replied.

2. The new restaurant:

Jack and Barney were two elderly gentlemen sitting and talking in Jack’s living room.

Eventually, their conversation touches on the subject of food.

“Hey,” says Jack, “last week we went out to a new restaurant, and the food was fantastic. I would definitely recommend it.”

“Really?” says Barney. “What’s the name of this restaurant?“

Well, Jack had to give that some thought, as his memory wasn’t what it was.

After a few moments, Jack said, “What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? The red one with thorns.”

“You mean a rose?” said Barney.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Jack replied.

He then turns towards the kitchen and yells, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last week?“

3. Memory problems:

Arthur, Chester, and Clarence are three elderly brothers who are 92, 94, and 96, respectively, and still living together.

One night Clarence fills his bathtub with water, ready to take a bath. After a few moments, he puts his right foot in the tub and then pauses momentarily.

He then yells down to his brothers, “Was I getting in or out of the tub?“

Chester yells back immediately, “I don’t know, Clarence. Give me a moment, and I’ll come upstairs and check it for you.”

With that, Chester starts climbing the stairs.

After taking a few steps, he pauses. He then yells, “Was I going up the stairs or down?“

Arthur is sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, and he can’t help smiling at his brothers’ memory problems.

He shakes his head and then says, “Jeez, I hope I never get as forgetful as you two.“

With that, Arthur knocks on the wooden table a couple of times for good luck.

He then pauses before he yells, “I’ll be up to help both of you in a minute, as soon as I see who’s at the door.“

4. Spanish vacation:

Jane and Phil are a married couple who are taking a well-earned vacation in Spain.

After a day of sightseeing, they decide to go to a nice Spanish restaurant for dinner.

As they’re being seated at their table, they can’t help but notice that the couple on the next table are being served a dish with two of the largest meatballs they’ve ever seen.

When the waiter arrives to take their order, Phil asks, “The meatball dish the couple on the next table is having looks delicious; what is it?”

The waiter smiles and then says, “Señor, the meatballs are the testicles from the bull killed in the bullfight this afternoon. This dish is a classic in Spain.”

It looks great, says Phil. “We’ve decided we’re both going to try it.”

“Ah, señor,” the waiter responds, “for this dish we only have one serving each day, for obvious reasons. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we can hold them for you.”

Determined to try this classic Spanish dish, the couple arrive early the following day to place their order.

They sit at their table, enjoying a glass of Sangria whilst they wait for their much-anticipated meatball dish.

Eventually, the dish arrives, but the meatballs are disappointingly small.

Phil calls the waiter over and says, “What’s this? Yesterday’s testicles were enormous. Today they’re tiny in comparison.”

The waiter smiles politely and then says, “Señor, I’m so sorry, but today the bull won.”

5. Pay attention:

A college professor is starting the new academic year with the Veterinary Medicine 101 class.

The professor welcomes the new class and then says, “In veterinary medicine, there are two important qualities you’ll need as a veterinarian. The first quality is that you must never be disgusted by anything involving an animal’s body.“

The professor paused momentarily to allow the class time to reflect on his comment.

He then pulled back the sheet in front of him and stuck his finger into the butt of the dead cow that was under the sheet. After a moment he withdrew his finger and immediately stuck his finger into his mouth.

“Now, go ahead,” said the professor to the students. “I want you to do what I’ve just done.”

Well, there was much hysteria in the class, and they all hesitated for several minutes before anyone was willing to have a go. However, eventually, they all took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and then sucking it. Naturally, this was followed by a lot of retching and spitting.

Once they’d all had the chance to complete this first task, the professor continued, “Now the second most important quality you’ll need as a Veterinarian is observation.”

Once again, he paused momentarily to allow the class time to reflect on his comment.

“If you’d been watching me carefully,” the professor continued, “you’d have noticed that it was my middle finger that I inserted into the cow. Whereas it was my index finger that I sucked. So, today’s lesson is this. You’ll need to learn to pay attention if you’re going to succeed as a vet.”

Phil Sutton

Please share the fun:

So, were any of these the best funny jokes you’ve read today, dear reader? I hope so.

However, perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh. If so, click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today, then please share these jokes with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Thank you for your support.

© Mann Island Media Limited 2026. All rights reserved.

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7 best dad jokes that’ll tickle you silly

02/09/2026 by

Are you looking for some of the best dad jokes, dear reader?

Well, take a look at these seven on offer today. Certainly, they’re all ‘full groan”.

I hope they make you smile.

Please feel free to share them.

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Best dad jokes:

1. The shopping trip:

Wilma was an 80-year-old lady out shopping with her long-suffering, elderly husband, Jack.

In the challenging economic times in which they now live, Wilma and Jack were finding that their budget was a bit tight.

So, in desperation, Wilma resorts to shoplifting.

Unfortunately for her, she gets caught in the act, and she finds herself standing in front of a judge.

“Mam, could you tell me exactly what it was you stole?” asked the judge.

“Yes, your honour,” Wilma responded. “I stole a can of peaches.”

“And how many peaches were in the can?” the judge continued.

“Your honour, I believe it was six,” said Wilma.

“Then I’ll sentence you to six days in jail,” said the judge.

Before the judge could utter another word, Jack quickly interjected and said, “Your honour, you should also be aware that she stole a family-sized can of peas too.”

2. Little Johnny Joke:

Little Johnny lived in Quebec with his parents.

Johnny loved to hear his parents talk about family traditions and, in particular, the exploits of his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather when they were all young men.

Johnny’s favourite story was the one about each of them walking on water on their 18th birthday.

Eventually around comes Johnny’s 18th birthday, and he’s determined to emulate what his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were able to achieve, and that was walking across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink.

So, on his birthday, Johnny sets off for that bar with his friend Jim.

Johnny steps on the water first and quickly finds himself submerged and struggling to swim back to the bank, where he’s helped by Jim.

Johnny’s not happy, and when he gets home, he challenges his mother about the truth of all those family stories.

“It’s my 18th birthday, Ma,” said Johnny. “If those stories were true, how come I couldn’t walk on water?“

“Johnny,” his mother responded. “It’s August! Your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were all born in January when the lake is frozen.”

3. Gotcha!

Michael Rubinstein is a wealthy Manhattan art dealer.

Late one afternoon, he gets a phone call from his attorney, Jack Greenbaum.

“Hey, Michael,” says Jack, “I have some good news, and I have some bad news for you.”

“Oh, Jack, I’m having a lousy day,” Michael responds. “Cheer me up with some good news first.”

“Well,” says Jack, “I met with your wife earlier, and she informs me that she’s invested $5,000 in two pictures that she believes will bring her 20 million dollars. And I think she’s right.”

“Wow,” says Michael, “it seems my wife’s got a good head for business. So, what’s the bad news?”

“The pictures are of you in an Acapulco hotel room with your secretary,” says Jack, “when you told your wife you were in Europe on business.”

4. Unintended consequences:

Pete and Zak were racing down the highway on Pete’s motorcycle.

Now Pete was wearing a leather jacket, but the zip was broken, so the jacket was open. Eventually, Pete pulled over and said to Zak, “Listen, Buddy, with my jacket open, the cold weather is really starting to get to me. It’s freezing.”

Zak suggested he put his jacket on back to front so his chest would be covered.

Pete did as suggested, and the two of them then got back on the bike and off they went at high speed.

A couple of miles down the road, Pete took a bend at high speed, misjudged the manoeuvre, and crashed into a tree.

A farmer, who’d been working in the field nearby, was the first on the scene.

Very soon after, a highway patrolman arrived.

The cop says to the farmer, “Any signs of life?”

“Well,” said the farmer, “the guy riding the bike was moaning until I twisted his head to try and get it round the right way.”

5. Bad news:

A group of husbands are all waiting outside the maternity ward whilst their wives are all in labour.

Eventually, the ward sister comes out and says to the first guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”

“Now, that’s ironic,” says the guy, “because I work for Minnesota Twins.”

The ward sister then says to the second guy, “I got some news for you too. You’re the father of triplets. Congratulations!”

“Now, that’s incredible,” says the guy, “because I work for the 3M company.”

The ward sister smiles at the third guy and then says, “Believe it or not, you’re now the father of quadruplets. Congratulations!”

“Well, ain’t that a coincidence,” says the guy, “because I work for the Four Seasons Hotel.”

At this point, the fourth guy passes out on the floor.

The ward sister and her colleagues rush to his aid and get him back on his feet. “Are you alright?” says the ward sister.

“I’m afraid of the news you’re about to tell me,” says the guy, “I work for 7Up!”

6. Language learning:

Jim was learning Spanish, and he went off to Mexico for some deep immersion in using the language.

However, he decided it might be useful to hire a Mexican guide to help him with conversation.

As they are walking through Tijuana, Jim notices an enormous fly, and he says to his guide, “Jose, mira! El mosca.”

Jose smiles benevolently and says, “No, Senor, la mosca. Es feminina.”

“Really?” says Jim. “You can actually see that from here?”

7. Magic glasses:

Bill is browsing in a joke shop looking for a novelty gift when the shop owner says to him, “If you’re looking for something unusual, I’ve got just the thing.”

“And what’s that?” asks Bill.

“Magic glasses,” said the owner. “They cost $500 but, believe me, they’re worth every cent.”

The owner then hands Bill a pair of these glasses, and he tries them on.

Well, he can’t believe what he’s seeing. The owner now appears completely naked.

Bill removes the glasses to check, and sure enough, without them, the owner is fully clothed. He puts them on again, and he sees the owner naked once more.

“They’re amazing,” said Bill. “I’ll take them.”

Bill leaves the shop wearing the glasses and then walks down Main Street.

Everyone he passes appears completely naked.

Bill is so pleased with his purchase that he decides to surprise his wife at home before returning to the office.

Bill’s still wearing the glasses when he walks into their living room.

Sitting on the sofa, he sees both his wife and his neighbour both completely naked.

They both recoil in horror on suddenly seeing Bill.

Bill then takes off the glasses, only for them both to still appear naked.

“Well, I’ll be damned!” said Bill. “I’ve had them for less than half an hour, and they’re already faulty.”

Phil Sutton

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So dear reader, were any of these the best dad jokes? Was this post worth a little piece of your time? I do hope so.

If you did enjoy this post, then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

So go on, please share this post now, and you’ll be making an old blogger very happy.

Thank you for your support.

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50 corny but playful Yo Mama jokes

01/08/2026 by

If you enjoy Yo Mama jokes, then take a look at the 50 I have on offer for you today.

They’re all a bit corny, but they’re fun, playful, and lighthearted.

I hope at least a few of them will make you smile.

Enjoy them all, and please, feel free to share them with your friends.

Yo Mama Jokes
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Yo Mama Jokes (1-10):

  1. Yo mama’s so old, she babysat Yoda.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, her social security number is 1.
  3. Yo mama’s so slow, she was overtaken by a sloth.
  4. Yo mama’s so fat, she has to buy group insurance.
  5. Yo mama’s so dumb, she lost in a game of solitaire.
  6. Yo mama’s so old, Moses was in her class at school.
  7. Yo mama’s so slow, she’d lose in a race with a snail.
  8. Yo mama’s so slow, she gets overtaken by parked cars.
  9. Yo mama’s so slow, she could be overtaken by a glacier.
  10. Yo mama’s so lazy, she gets tired watching cars pass by.
Phil Sutton

Yo Mama Jokes (11-20):

  1. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over a cordless phone.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
  3. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless network.
  4. Yo mama’s so old, she used to babysit George Washington.
  5. Yo mama’s so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
  6. Yo mama’s so loud, even the deaf ask her to keep the noise down.
  7. Yo mama’s so forgetful, she forgot she was wearing her sunglasses.
  8. Yo mama’s so old, she knew Burger King when he was only a prince.
  9. Yo mama’s so heavy-handed, she’d break safety glass with a cotton ball.
  10. Yo mama’s so bad at technology, she couldn’t even find the START button on her computer.
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Yo Mama Jokes (21-30):

  1. Yo mama’s so old, her high school diploma is on a stone tablet.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, her birth certificate is written in hieroglyphics.
  3. Yo mama’s so bad at math, she can’t even count her own fingers.
  4. Yo mama’s so slow, even a turtle crossed the road faster than her.
  5. Yo mama’s so lazy, even her remote control needs a remote control.
  6. Yo mama’s so bad at gardening, her plants filed for ‘plant protection’.
  7. Yo mama’s so forgetful, she sometimes introduces herself to the mirror.
  8. Yo mama’s so greedy, she tried to download cookies from the internet.
  9. Yo mama’s so confused, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
  10. Yo mama’s so old, she remembers when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch.
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Yo Mama Jokes (31-40):

  1. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thinks deja vu is a yoga pose.
  2. Yo mama’s so old, Tyrannosaurus Rex was her first pet.
  3. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she tripped over her own shadow.
  4. Yo mama’s so slow, she was beaten in a race by a statue.
  5. Yo mama’s so dumb, she went to the airport to catch a train.
  6. Yo mama’s so loud, she doesn’t need a phone to make a long-distance call.
  7. Yo mama’s so lacking in a sense of direction, she got lost in her own house.
  8. Yo mama’s so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was just feeling a little unwell.
  9. Yo mama’s so dumb, she put her phone on airplane mode and couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t fly.
  10. Yo mama knows so little about sports, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl thinking it was a food-tasting event.
Phil Sutton

Yo Mama Jokes (41-50):

  1. Yo mama’s so loud, you can hear her thoughts.
  2. Yo mama’s so clumsy, she could slip on sunshine.
  3. Yo mama’s so slow, she came second in a ‘solo race’.
  4. Yo mama’s so bad at cooking, even the trashcan spit it out.
  5. Yo mama’s so stingy, she uses both sides of the toilet paper.
  6. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought Bluetooth was a dental problem.
  7. Yo mama’s so dumb, if she played hide and seek alone, she’d still lose.
  8. Yo mama’s cooking is so bad, even her dog goes to a neighbour’s house to eat.
  9. Yo mama’s so dumb, she tried to charge her credit card by plugging it into the wall.
  10. Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought an Apple iPhone would count as one of her five-a-day.
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Please share this post:

So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?

If any of these Yo Mama jokes made you smile, then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

More fun you might enjoy:

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33 Why Did jokes that are all full groan

01/08/2026 by

If you like Why Did jokes, then I have 33 for you today, dear reader, and I promise you that they’re all full groan.

Every one, a play on words designed to tickle your funny bone.

So, relax, take an unofficial break, and enjoy them all.

And if any of them did seriously tickle you, then please, feel free to pass them on to your friends.

WHY DID JOKES

Why Did Jokes (1-11):

  1. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
  2. Why did the computer go on a diet? Too many cookies.
  3. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up a pair of pants.
  4. Why did the computer go to the dentist? It had Bluetooth.
  5. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  6. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
  7. Why did the banana go on a road trip? The a-peel of adventure.
  8. Why did the pen refuse to write? Because it felt that way ink-lined.
  9. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
  10. Why did the banana go to university? The a-peel of being well-educated.
  11. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t find a date.
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Why Did Jokes (12-22):

  1. Why did the lamp go to school? Because it wanted to shine amongst its peers.
  2. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems to solve.
  3. Why did the computer go to the party? Because it wanted to dance the byte away.
  4. Why did the banana go to the therapist? Because it had a split personality.
  5. Why did the photographer start a blog? Because he wanted more exposure.
  6. Why did the tomato leave the comedy club? Because all the jokes were tasteless.
  7. Why did the tomato go on a night out? Because it wanted to paint the town red.
  8. Why did the pen become a poet? Because it had an ink-credible way with words.
  9. Why did the zombie win the dance competition? Because it had some killer moves.
  10. Why did the scarecrow become a DJ? Because it had some a-maize-ing tracks to spin.
  11. Why did the bicycle become a stand-up comedian? Because it was wheel-y funny.
Phil Sutton

Why Did Jokes (23-33):

  1. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.
  2. Why did the computer become a musician? Because it had great keyboard skills.
  3. Why did the tomato go to the party? To ketchup with friends and relish the good times.
  4. Why did the tomato turn purple? Because it was trying to ketchup with the latest trends.
  5. Why did the math student go into therapy? Because he had a lot of unresolved problems.
  6. Why did the scarecrow become a tour guide? Because it knew all the best fields and gardens.
  7. Why did the bicycle become a chef? Because it loved whipping up wheely delicious meals.
  8. Why did the teacher bring a ladder to the classroom? To help his students reach new heights.
  9. Why did the banana break up with the orange? Because they didn’t really a-peel to each other.
  10. Why did the scarecrow become a detective? Because it had exceptional ability in solving corn-undrums.
  11. Why did the math book become friends with the calculator? Because they both had problems to solve.
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Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

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30 Guess What jokes to raise a smile or two

01/08/2026 by

I know how much readers enjoy a good laugh, and that’s why I’ve curated a collection of delightfully clever Guess What jokes just for you today.

These aren’t just your everyday, run-of-the-mill jokes. They’re mostly just a clever play on words. That’s what I enjoy, and I hope that you enjoy this form of humour too, dear reader.

So, grab a coffee, take an unofficial break, relax, and enjoy the humour I have on offer for you today.

And please, feel free to pass on these jokes.

GUESS WHAT JOKES
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Guess what jokes (1-10):

  1. Guess what? They told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic. But so far, I’ve made three jugs and a vase.
  2. Guess what? I got my friend a fridge for his birthday. I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
  3. Guess what? My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So, we went and had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
  4. Guess what? My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said ‘40‘.
  5. Guess what? I’ve just written a pop song about tortillas. Well, it’s more of a wrap, really.
  6. Guess what? I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We’ve got no gigs yet.
  7. Guess what? My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table. I had to take a running start, but I made it.
  8. Guess what? I had a joke about a boomerang, but I’ve forgotten it. It’ll come back to me.
  9. Guess what? My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
  10. Guess what? I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Phil Sutton

Guess what jokes (11-20):

  1. Guess what? I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.
  2. Guess what? I had an addiction to soap, but I’m clean now.
  3. Guess what? I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said, ‘Wii.’
  4. Guess what? I once did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
  5. Guess what? I was going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
  6. Guess what? I was going to tell you a joke about infinity, but it doesn’t have an end.
  7. Guess what? I wrote a book on penguins. In hindsight, paper would have been better.
  8. Guess what? I used to be an astronaut, but I couldn’t stand the pressure.
  9. Guess what? At the library, I asked for a book on levitation. They said it was currently floating around somewhere.
  10. Guess what? A friend asked me if I had any sodium hypobromite. I said NaBrO.
Go Explore London

Guess what jokes (21-30):

  1. Guess what? I used to be a lifeguard until some blue kid got me fired.
  2. Guess what? I wanted to learn to juggle, but I just don’t have the balls.
  3. Guess what? I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Tell you what, never again.
  4. Guess what? I’ve just told a chemistry joke, but I didn’t get a reaction.
  5. Guess what? I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work!
  6. Guess what? I told my wife I saw a deer on the way home. She said, “How do you know he was on his way home?”
  7. Guess what? My boss told me to have a good day. So, I went home.
  8. Guess what? I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
  9. Guess what? I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
  10. Guess what? I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying, “Ooh, you’re brilliant.”
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Please share this post:

If any of these Guess What jokes made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

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35 stupid jokes that are funny

01/05/2026 by

If you’re looking for stupid jokes that are funny, dear reader, then take a look at the 35 I’ve collected for you today.

Yes, they are corny. Yes, they are stupid. However, I’m confident that at least a few of them will raise a smile.

So, grab a coffee, relax, and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

STUPID JOKES THAT ARE FUNNY

Stupid jokes that are funny (1-10):

  1. I, for one, like Roman numerals.
  2. How do you start a pudding race? Say go!
  3. I used to hate facial hair, but it grew on me.
  4. What is hairy and coughs? A coconut with a cold.
  5. What is the most unreliable diner? A fickle onion.
  6. Why did the pickle miss work? Because it was dill.
  7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  8. What food can you eat in a taxi? Corn on the cab.
  9. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
  10. What did the plate say to the diner? Lunch is on me. 
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Stupid jokes that are funny (11-20):

  1. I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  2. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
  3. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
  4. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted!
  5. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up!
  6. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
  7. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  8. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
  9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  10. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
Phil Sutton

Stupid jokes that are funny (21-30):

  1. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop, but it was sole destroying.
  2. Why did the sandwich go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
  3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  4. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
  5. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
  6. Why don’t Melons run away to get married? Because they cantaloupe.
  7. Why did the lazy grape stomper get fired? For sitting down on the job.
  8. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  9. Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.
  10. What is yellow, brown, and hairy? Cheese on toast dropped on the carpet.
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Stupid jokes that are funny (31-35):

  1. I was going to tell a time-travelling joke, but you didn’t think it was funny.
  2. I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job, and I made my own hours.
  3. Why are hamburgers better than hot dogs? Because hot dogs are the wurst.
  4. Why did the guy put his money in a blender? Because he needed to liquidate his assets!
  5. I told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids. In one ear, out the other.
Saily eSIM

Please share this post:

If any of these stupid jokes that are funny actually made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

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Thank you for your support.

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8 really funny jokes that will make you smile

09/21/2025 by

If you’re like me, you enjoy really funny jokes. Something to make you laugh and brighten the day. Well, here are eight really funny jokes that all made me smile today.

I hope you enjoy them.

And, if you do, please feel free to pass them on.

Really Funny Jokes:

1. Money’s too tight to mention:

Two old friends, Mary and Jane, were going shopping.

Mary was a spendthrift and she had a bad habit of constantly overdrawing her bank account.

Before leaving for the mall, Jane complained about her own lack of funds and sadly lamented, “If I buy anything, I guess I’ll have to use plastic.”

Unconcerned, Mary whipped out her chequebook and said, “Well I’ll be using rubber.”

2. Blood from a stone:

A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s wealthy banker, so the director decided to make a phone call.

“Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”

The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”

“Um, no,” mumbled the director.

“Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?” the banker continued.

“I … I … I had no idea,”  the director admitted.

“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”

3. Verifying your cheque:

The store clerk requested identification from a customer who had just written a personal cheque for her purchase.

After fumbling through her purse, she presented him with what she said was the only thing she had that bore both her name and address. It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank. 

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4. Asking for charity:

A devastated-looking man knocks on the door of a woman known for her charity.

“Please, ma’am,” he says when she opens up, “can you help this poor, tragic family down the block? The father just lost his job, and his wife is too ill to work. They’re about to be turned out into the cold streets unless someone can pay their rent.”

“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life!” says the woman. “May I ask who you are?”

“I’m their landlord.”

 5. Ways of seeing:

Teenager, Billy lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.

After a brief but fruitless search, Billy gave up. His mother took up the cause and within minutes she’d found the lens.

“How did you do that?” he asked.

“We weren’t looking for the same thing Billy,” she explained. “You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”

6. The rooster:

A farmer decided he wanted to go into town to see a movie.

As he was standing in line for a ticket, the ticket agent says to him. “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?”

“Well,” said the farmer, “this here’s my pet rooster, Chuck. I never go anywhere without Chuck.”

“Sir, I’m sorry,” the ticket agent responds, “but we don’t allow any animals in the auditorium.”

Now the farmer is a wily old operator, and he knows how to work around a problem.

So, he disappears around the corner and stuffs the rooster down his overalls. Then he returns to the ticket booth, buys a ticket, and walks off to take his seat.

On this occasion, he’s seated next to two old women, Maude and Daisy.

The movie starts and naturally, the rooster begins to get restless. So, the old farmer unbuttons his fly so Chuck could stick his head out to watch the movie.

“Daisy,” says Maude, whispering.

“What is it, Maude?” Daisy responds.

“I think the guy next to me is a pervert.”

“What makes you think so?” Daisy asks.

“He just undid his pants, and he’s got his thing out,” whispers Maude.

“So, why worry?” Daisy responds, “at your age, it’s not like you haven’t seen one before. When you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

“Well, that’s what I thought,” Maude responded, “but this one’s eating my popcorn.“

7. Devoted wife:

Harry is on his deathbed, and he says to his wife, “Mabel, I will be gone soon, and there’s something I must ask you. In these 50 years of our marriage, have you ever been unfaithful to me?“

“Well, Harry,” Mabel replied, “I must be honest with you. I was unfaithful on three occasions during these past 50 years, but always with good reason.“

“Really?” said Harry, hurt by Mabel’s confession. “I didn’t suspect anything. Can you tell me your reasons?“

Mabel sighed and said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our house because we couldn’t afford to pay the mortgage. Do you remember that evening I went to see the banker, and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?“

Harry remembered the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?“

Mabel hesitated momentarily and then said, “Do you remember when you had heart problems and we didn’t have enough money to pay your medical bills? I went to see your doctor one night, and if you recall, he did the bypass surgery at no charge.“

“Oh, yes,” said Harry, “How could I forget, Mabel? You saved my life, so I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

“Well,” Mabel continued, “do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed to be sure you could count on all 15 votes from the committee members?“

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8. The Lesson:

While walking along Pennsylvania Avenue, a congressman is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

Suddenly he finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates in front of St. Peter.

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter.

The congressman is still a little confused, given his circumstances, but thanks St Peter for his welcome.

“Now,” St Peter continues, “before you settle in, there is an issue. We seldom see politicians here, so we’re never quite sure what to do with you. However, we do have a procedure.”

“So, what happens now?” asks the congressman.

“Well,” says St Peter, “What we’ll do is have you spend a day in Hell followed by a day in Heaven. Then you can choose where you’ll spend eternity.”

With that, St. Peter escorts the congressman to an elevator and down he goes to Hell.

A few moments later, the elevator door opens, and the congressman finds himself standing in the clubhouse of the most amazing golf course he’d ever seen. Standing in front of him were all his old Washington buddies and other politicians who’d predeceased him.

They’re all having a great time, drinking, laughing and joking. When they see him, they greet him warmly, shake his hand, and reminisce about all the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of ordinary people. They invite him to play a game of golf and then afterwards they all dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

The devil joins them for dinner. The congressman is amazed at how friendly and caring the devil is. Nothing like he had imagined.

They were all having the most amazing time when the devil suggested it was probably time for the congressman to complete the process with St Peter.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and a wave as the elevator rises back up to the Pearly Gates. Suddenly the door opens and St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Well,” says St Peter, “now it’s time to visit Heaven.”

The time passes with the congressman joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. The time they had was pleasant enough if a little underwhelming, but it passed quickly. Before he realizes it, the congressman is back with St Peter.

“Well, now,” says St Peter, “you’ve seen what Heaven and Hell have to offer, so you must now make a choice.”

The congressman reflects on his options momentarily, then says, “Well, pleasant as Heaven was, what the devil has to offer me seems like a much better deal. So, I’ll opt for Hell.”

So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and back he goes down to Hell for all eternity.

When the elevator door opens, the congressman finds himself in a stinking hellhole full of waste and garbage. Once again, he sees his friends, but they’re dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The smell is terrible.

The congressman struggles to comprehend what he’s seeing as the devil arrives to greet him. “I don’t understand,” the congressman says to the devil, “this is not what I voted for.”

The devil smiles at him.

“Yesterday,” continues the congressman, “when I was here, there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. How can this possibly be what I voted for?”

Once again, the devil smiles at him and says, “Ah, yes, you’ve noticed. Well, you see, yesterday I was campaigning. Today I have your vote. So, now you know how ordinary people feel.”

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So did these prove to be the really funny jokes you’d hoped for read reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read, please share it with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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35 thats what she said jokes to raise a smile

09/10/2025 by

Today, I thought it might be amusing to explore some Thats What She Said jokes.

This form of humour revolves around innuendo and double entendre.

Yes, it’s a bit silly and suggestive, but it’s innocent and fun too, as it reflects the nature of human interaction and the way we find humour in the absurd. And, let’s face it, much of what passes for physical interaction between people can seem a little absurd when you think about it.

As with all humour, appropriateness and effectiveness depend largely on the audience and the context. So, I hope my audience today will appreciate this form of humour.

If, for some reason, this humour is not for you, then I’ll try to offer you something more appropriate next time around.

In the meantime, for those who enjoy innuendo and double entendre, here are 35 Thats What She Said Jokes to brighten your day.

Thats What She Said Jokes
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Thats What She Said Jokes (1-10):

  1. That’s big. Thats what she said.
  2. It looks horrible! Thats what she said.
  3. I think it’s stuck. Thats what she said.
  4. I’ve seen it all now. Thats what she said.
  5. You can’t be serious. Thats what she said.
  6. I can’t get a grip on it. Thats what she said.
  7. That’s too much for me. Thats what she said.
  8. Stop fiddling with them! Thats what she said.
  9. Wow, it’s quite a handful. Thats what she said.
  10. I don’t like the look of that. Thats what she said.

Thats What She Said Jokes (11-20):

  1. You’re going to love these! Thats what she said.
  2. Keep it to yourself, please. Thats what she said.
  3. Well, that was disappointing. Thats what she said.
  4. Not now, I’ve got a headache. Thats what she said.
  5. Surely, you’re having a laugh. Thats what she said.
  6. This is harder than I expected. Thats what she said.
  7. I’ve never seen one that small. Thats what she said.
  8. I’ve not seen one like that before. Thats what she said.
  9. I didn’t think it would get this big. Thats what she said.
  10. That’s not a game I’m willing to play. Thats what she said.

Thats What She Said Jokes (21-35):

  1. I can’t keep holding it up like this. Thats what she said.
  2. I’ve never done it this way before. Thats what she said.
  3. It was over quicker than I thought. Thats what she said.
  4. You’ll get better with more practice. Thats what she said.
  5. Let’s take it out and see how it looks. Thats what she said.
  6. I’m going to need two hands for this. Thats what she said.
  7. It’s not as big as I thought it would be. Thats what she said.
  8. You don’t get many of them to the pound. Thats what she said.
  9. I love you, dear, but not enough to try that. Thats what she said.
  10. If you think I’m doing that, you can forget it. Thats what she said.
  11. Goodness, this one’s got its own personality. Thats what she said.
  12. You’re unlikely to find a pair bigger than these? Thats what she said.
  13. As experiences go, that wasn’t much to write home about. Thats what she said.
  14. There’s an easy way and a hard way. Let’s do it the easy way. Thats what she said.
  15. It’ll take more than a skinny latte and a blueberry muffin to impress me. Thats what she said.
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If any of these ‘Thats What She Said Jokes’ made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So, please go ahead and share now.

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30 knock knock jokes that are corny but fun

08/25/2025 by

Do you enjoy ‘knock knock jokes,’ dear reader?

Yes, they’re corny, I know. However, they’re fun too. Clever wordplay is always fun, and indeed, I find it amusing.

So, here are 30 knock knock jokes which I hope you will enjoy.

Grab a coffee, take an unofficial break, relax, and enjoy the smiles.

And when you’ve read them all, feel free to pass them on to your friends.

30 KNOCK KNOCK JOKES
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Knock Knock Jokes (1-10):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Boo
  • Boo who?
  • Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Wendy
  • Wendy who?
  • Wendy wind blows, the cradle will rock!
  • Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Honeybee
  • Honeybee who?
  • Honeybee a dear and get the door, please!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Dishes
  • Dishes who?
  • Dishes the police, open up!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Alpaca
  • Alpaca who?
  • Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Mikey
  • Mikey who?
  • Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole; can you open the door, please?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Olive
  • Olive who?
  • Olive you and I always will!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Wooden shoe
  • Wooden shoe who?
  • Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Cow says
  • Cow says who?
  • No silly, cow says moooo!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Cash
  • Cash who?
  • No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock Knock Jokes (11-20):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Icy
  • Icy who?
  • Icy you but you can’t see me!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Lettuce
  • Lettuce who?
  • Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Kenya
  • Kenya who?
  • Kenya guess who I am?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Arthur
  • Arthur who?
  • Arthur any more jokes left?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Ivor
  • Ivor who?
  • Ivor question to ask you.
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Nicholas
  • Nicholas who?
  • Nicholas women shouldn’t climb trees.
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Luke
  • Luke who?
  • Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Howard
  • Howard who?
  • Howard you like a big hug?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Noah
  • Noah who?
  • Noah good place we can get something to eat?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Atch
  • Atch who?
  • Bless you!

Knock Knock Jokes (21-30):

  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Harry
  • Harry who?
  • Harry up and answer the door!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Arthur
  • Arthur who?
  • Arthur any more cookies left?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Nana
  • Nana who?
  • Nana your business!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Justin
  • Justin who?
  • Justin the neighbourhood, and heard you needed a laugh!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Europe
  • Europe who?
  • No, you’re a poo!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Lettuce
  • Lettuce who?
  • Lettuce in and we’ll tell you!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Who
  • Who who?
  • Is there an owl in here?
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Fuk
  • Fuk who?
  • No, Fuk Yu!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Dishes
  • Dishes who?
  • Dishes a nice place you got here!
  • Knock, knock
  • Who’s there?
  • Alex
  • Alex who?
  • Alex the questions around here!
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When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

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I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Affiliate Disclosure: This site is an affiliate of Expedia and related companies. This means that if you click on the link and make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products or services that I think will be valuable to you. Any commissions earned help support the content I create.

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50 funny what is the difference between jokes

08/14/2025 by
50 funny what is the difference between jokes

If you’re looking for some “what is the difference between jokes,” dear reader, then I can offer you 50 today that I’m sure will raise a laugh or two.

Give people a laugh, and they’ll forget about their worries, at least for a while. That’s my philosophy.

Whether you’re at your local bar trying to break the ice with some new friends or at a family gathering trying to make your notoriously hard-to-impress uncle chuckle, these jokes are sure to be a hit. Well, I think so, anyway.

So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and prepare for an onslaught of comedic genius. Well, at the very least, a few groans.

Let’s get this laughter show on the road, shall we? We all need laughter, and there’s no better way to start the day.

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What is the difference between jokes (1-10):

  1. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
  2. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a well-dressed man on a tricycle? Attire!
  3. What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, whack, “Darn!” A bad skydiver goes, “Darn!” whack.
  4. What’s the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You can’t dunk an elephant in your tea.
  5. What’s the difference between a teacher and a railroad guard? One trains the mind, and the other minds the train.
  6. What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
  7. What’s the difference between a Zippo and a hippo? One is heavy, the other is a little lighter.
  8. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
  9. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
  10. What’s the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What is the difference between jokes (11-20):

  1. What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
  2. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
  3. What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
  4. What’s the difference between a tick and a politician? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other is a tiny insect.
  5. What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
  6. What’s the difference between a thief and a peeping Tom? One snatches your watch, and the other watches your snatch.
  7. What’s the difference between a unicorn and a carrot? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
  8. What’s the difference between a comet and a cat? One has a tail that’s blazing, and the other’s tail is for chasing.
  9. What’s the difference between a banker and a vampire? One sucks your blood, and the other your wallet.
  10. What’s the difference between a poker player and a skydiver? One takes a chance when he goes all in, and the other when he jumps all out. 

What is the difference between jokes (21-30):

  1. What’s the difference between a chef and a dog? One wears pants and the other just pants.
  2. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing!
  3. What’s the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, and a cat only nine times.
  4. What’s the difference between a schoolteacher and a steam train? The teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the train says, “Choo Choo!”
  5. What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? One’s a pop fly and the other’s a fly pop.
  6. What’s the difference between a baseball player and a dirty puppy? One runs home after sliding into base, and the other slides into home after running in the dirt.
  7. What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
  8. What’s the difference between a circus and a brothel? At the circus, you have a cunning array of stunts.
  9. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
  10. What’s the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student? One baits his hooks, and the other hates his books.

What is the difference between jokes (31-40):

  1. What’s the difference between a robber and a politician? The robber steals your money and then runs. The politician runs and then steals your money.
  2. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
  3. What’s the difference between an elephant and a grape? Grapes are purple.
  4. What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can’t hear an enzyme.
  5. What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion? No one sheds a tear when you chop up an accordion.
  6. What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
  7. What’s the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.
  8. What’s the difference between a gambler and a skydiver? A gambler risks going broke, and a skydiver risks going splat.
  9. What’s the difference between a mathematician and an accountant? An accountant would say that 1+1=2. A mathematician would need to prove it.
  10. What’s the difference between a casino and a church? In a casino, you really mean it when you pray.

What is the difference between jokes (41-50):

  1. What’s the difference between a pun and a dad joke? One just leaves you groaning, and the other leaves you groaning and slightly disappointed.
  2. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
  3. What’s the difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman? The used car salesman knows when he’s lying.
  4. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
  5. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.
  6. What’s the difference between a magician and a politician? One performs tricks and the other just tricks.
  7. What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer doesn’t need a parachute.
  8. What’s the difference between a politician and a snail? One is a slimy pest, and the other is a snail.
  9. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
  10. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear, and the other’s a very good year.
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If any of these “what is the difference between jokes” made you smile, then please share them with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. So, it’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share now.

Then perhaps you’d like more laughs? Just click on the links below.

Alternatively, there’s a lot more than humour on this site. I aim to inform and inspire, too. Feel free to look around.

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what is the difference between jokes, what is the difference between jokes

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