60 witty one-liners on attitude to make you smile

07/04/2024 by

If you’re looking for some witty one-liners on attitude then I’m confident that you might enjoy a few of these here.

Attitude is a little world that has a big impact on all our lives.

A positive attitude beats a negative one if your aim is to get along with other people.

However, sometimes you have to put on your crown and let other people know who is King or Queen.

It doesn’t do to be too agreeable, in my experience. That said, as with all things in life, some balance is essential.

So take five minutes to enjoy these witty one-liners and then please feel free to pass them on.

Witty one-liners on attitude (1-15):

  1. I’m too glam to give a damn!
  2. Life? Don’t talk to me about life!
  3. It’s my life, so I’ll live it my way.
  4. Well, this is not the life I had in mind.
  5. I’m so poor, I can’t even pay attention.
  6. An ounce of action beats a ton of theory.
  7. Life would be tragic if it wasn’t so funny.
  8. I’m not special but I am a limited edition.
  9. I’m me. If that’s a problem for you, tough!
  10. Haters beware. You’re my biggest motivator.
  11. What you think is what you think. Who cares?
  12. Nothing is interesting if you’re not interested.
  13. A bad experience is not the same as a bad life.
  14. If winning isn’t everything, why do we keep score?
  15. Life’s like ice cream. To be enjoyed before it melts.

Witty one-liners on attitude (16-30):

  1. Which part of I DON’T CARE don’t you understand?
  2. Is it just me or is the world run by complete idiots?
  3. Life’s far too short to be drinking poor quality wine.
  4. Fight the system by all means but it will always win.
  5. Don’t take life too seriously. You won’t get out alive.
  6. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  7. Life’s a bitch and then you die. That’s all there is to it.
  8. If it wasn’t for my dog, no one would understand me.
  9. Be like a stamp. Stick to your goal until you get there.
  10. If you think I’m irritating now, wait till you see my bad side.
  11. I could give up every vice, but would life still be worth living?
  12. I don’t need your attitude. I’ve got one of my own, thank you.
  13. Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.
  14. Just because it matters to you, don’t assume it matters to me too.
  15. You may disapprove of my choices but who are you to judge anyway?

Witty one-liners on attitude (31-45):

  1. Follow your heart but make sure you take your brain with you.
  2. My goal this year was to lose 10 pounds. I’ve just got 13 to go now.
  3. Only those who really care about you can hear you when you’re quiet.
  4. I thought I’d found the key to success, but someone’s changed the lock.
  5. People don’t necessarily change. Sometimes it’s just their mask slipping.
  6. Growing up, did anyone dream of becoming a Health & Safety Inspector?
  7. If you think I’m sarcastic, it’s a good job you never hear what I don’t say.
  8. Minds are like parachutes. They can only function properly if they’re open.
  9. If you don’t know how to thank me, I can tell you now, money works best.
  10. Some people say that nothing’s impossible and yet, I do nothing every day.
  11. The problem’s not the problem. The problem’s your attitude to the problem.
  12. If you have an opinion about my attitude, raise your hand. Now put it in your mouth.
  13. Don’t mistake my efficiency for any desire you think I may have to do your job too.
  14. Yesterday I did nothing and today, I need to finish what I was doing yesterday.
  15. If a woman says to a man, “Do what you want,” the man would be unwise to follow her advice.

Witty one-liners on attitude (45-60):

  1. If you’re caught doing something you shouldn’t have been doing, then just act daft.
  2. Regardless of what you may think, I wasn’t put on this earth just to make you happy.
  3. You may think you’re important but that doesn’t mean everyone else agrees with you.
  4. I thought my mood couldn’t get any worse today, and then my boss gave me more work.
  5. Why is it that when the only tool I have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail?
  6. Happiness is when you marry for love and then you realise they’ve got loads of money too.
  7. Being powerful is like being a gentleman, if you have to tell people you are then you aren’t.
  8. I don’t hate you. I’d unplug your life support to recharge my phone but I don’t hate you.
  9. If you’re wondering whether I’m free tomorrow, I’ll tell you now I’m likely to be very expensive.
  10. Work hard eight hours a day and, one day, you could be the boss working twelve hours a day.
  11. This morning I was told to check my attitude. I have and it’s still there. So, what’s the problem?
  12. Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality depends on me. My attitude depends on you.
  13. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude but I fail to see why that’s my problem.
  14. A positive attitude will not solve every problem but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
  15. I didn’t realise how rough my neighbourhood was until I bought an advent calendar and half the windows were boarded up.

Please share this post with your friends:

Did any of these witty one-liners on attitude make you smile, dear reader? I hope so. And if they did, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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32 witty, one-liner jokes about getting old to make you smile

07/04/2024 by

Looking for some jokes about getting old, dear reader? Well, today I can offer you 32 of them.

Whether you’re young or old, I’m sure you’ll be able to relate to a few of them.

I hope you enjoy them all and I hope they make you smile. Certainly, they all made me smile.

And remember this; we all get older, but getting old is a state of mind much more than anything else. You don’t have to let the old man or woman in.

Anyway, take a few moments to read them all and then pass them on.

Jokes about getting old:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Women rarely admit their age; men rarely act it.

I’m so old that my first car was a covered wagon.

How come everyone my age seems older than me?

I’m at the age where I can’t keep up with all the things I hate.

A wise man remembers a woman’s birthday but never her age.

I’m so old, I can remember when emojis were called hieroglyphics.

Regular naps will prevent old age, especially if taken while driving.

Ageing gracefully is the polite way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.

You know you’re old when dining out means catching the early bird special.

We were so poor growing up we could only listen to Simon or Garfunkel.

You know you’re old when people call at 9 pm and ask, “Did I wake you?”

I believe in loyalty. So, when I got to a certain age, I decided to stick with it.

My wife’s so vain, she’d rather pay full price than admit she’s a senior citizen.

I’d like to say I’m ageing like fine wine, but in my case, it’s more like a fine banana.

I like older women because they’re used to life’s disappointments, so they’re ready for me.

When you’re old, getting lucky is walking into a room and remembering exactly why you’re there.

Old age is when your old classmates are so grey, wrinkled, and bald that they no longer recognize you.

If it’s your birthday today, you should congratulate yourself. Especially if you’re still able to remember it.

The older I get, the more cults make perfect sense. Do you know how hard it is to make friends as an adult?

You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.

The skill of the diplomat is the ability to tell someone to go to Hell in such a way that they’ll look forward to the trip.

Old age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o’clock.

The best moment of a woman’s life isn’t giving birth, it’s seeing an old adversary and realizing how fat and ugly she is now.

When you’re young, you make a lot of noise just having fun. When you’re old, you make even more noise just bending over.

I wanted to look distinguished in my old age, so I grew a beard. Turns out the statement I’m making is more like, “Discount, please, I’m a senior!”

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive. Fortunately, my older brother told me about it.

When I was young, I did stupid things because I didn’t know any better. Now I know better, I still do stupid things, but I can’t help it.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then I remember that death will be normal for my age at some point.

I’ve reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there’ll be some new developments I won’t like.

When you’re young, embarrassment is forgetting to zip up your fly. When you’re old, embarrassment is forgetting to unzip your fly.

As I get older and remember all the people I’ve lost along the way, I think to myself maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t the right one for me.

Please share this post with your friends:

Dear reader, did these jokes about getting old make you smile? I do hope so.

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then please click on the links below. I’m confident that you’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read today, please share this post with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. And you’ll be helping an aspiring blog to reach a wider audience.

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31 Proverbs about life from around the world

07/02/2024 by

Proverbs about lifeDo you enjoy those short, pithy sayings that encapsulate an essential truth? I refer to those sayings that wiser folk often tell us to shine a light on a particular aspect of life. If you do, then I’ve put together some proverbs about life from around the world.

Wherever you go proverbs form an essential element of the culture. And that’s because, regardless of culture, the human condition is universal. As people, we have much more in common than those things that separate us.

So take a moment to reflect on these proverbs about life and the human condition. How many of them resonate with you, dear reader?

And please feel free to share them.

Proverbs about life (1-15):

  1. If you want to be criticized, marry. ~Irish Proverb
  2. A speaker of truth has no friends. African Proverb
  3. Nothing is difficult if one wants it. ~Polish Proverb
  4. God is the comfort of the poor. ~Georgian Proverb
  5. One spot stains the whole dress. ~Belgian Proverb
  6. He who is guilty has much to say. ~Ghanaian Proverb
  7. Do not draw your sword to kill a fly. ~Korean Proverb
  8. Pride is the mask of one’s own faults. ~Jewish Proverb
  9. A bad tree does not yield good apples. ~Danish Proverb
  10. Beginning is easy, continuing is hard. ~Japanese Proverb
  11. A bad son gives his mother a bad name. ~Ivorian Proverb
  12. Promised berries will not fill the basket. ~Latvian Proverb
  13. He who puts up with insults invites injury. ~Jewish Proverb
  14. Only a fool tests the water with both feet. ~African Proverb
  15. A man grows most tired while standing still. ~Chinese Proverbs

Proverbs about life (16-31):

  1. He who wants a rose must respect the thorns. ~Persian Proverb
  2. A letter from the heart can be read on the face. ~Swahili Proverb
  3. There is no greater fraud than a promise not kept. ~Gaelic Proverb
  4. Don’t open a shop unless you know how to smile. ~Jewish Proverb
  5. Who’s talking the truth, does not need a lot of words. ~Polish Proverb
  6. A friend you have to buy; enemies you get for nothing. ~Jewish Proverb
  7. Many complain of their looks, but none of their brains. ~Yiddish Proverb
  8. A dog will always be a dog, even if it is raised by lions. ~Lebanese Proverb
  9. Let the devil into church and he will climb into the pulpit. ~Latvian Proverb
  10. A brave man will face a situation no matter how dreadful. ~Filipino Proverb
  11. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. ~African Proverb
  12. Luck sometimes visits a fool, but it never sits down with him. ~German Proverb
  13. Everyone wants to live long, but no one wants to be called old. ~Icelandic Proverb
  14. If you tell your secret to your friend, you‘ll make him your master. ~Spanish Proverb
  15. The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. ~Chinese Proverb
  16. If you forgive the fox for stealing your chickens, he will take your sheep. ~Georgian Proverb

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15 quotes about communication that’ll make you think

07/01/2024 by

quotes about communicationIn the field of human relations, effective communication is very important. Yet communication or lack of it is so often the cause of so many of our problems. After all, it’s not what we say, it’s what we mean. In this post, there are 15 quotes about communication to help you consider this point.

We may think we’ve said something clearly but did the other person understand the meaning of our words in the way they were intended? Did we use the right words to convey our underlying message?

All too often we fail to get our message across clearly. Then we can find ourselves arguing with someone due to a miscommunication when in fact both parties have no underlying disagreement at all.

If you’re the communicator then it is your responsibility to ensure that the receiver of your communication understands its meaning clearly. It is not the receiver’s job to work out what you really meant. And of course, it’s not only what you say, but it’s also the way that you say it.

I can use exactly the same words with different tones and convey a totally different meaning. For instance, if you walk into a room and I say your name warmly and with a smile then it suggests I’m pleased to see you and you will respond accordingly.

Alternatively, if I scream your name, aggressively, as you enter that same room then you will conclude that I am not happy with you at all and you will become very defensive.

So think carefully before you speak. If you’re in any role where you are a leader of people then good communication skills are vital if you are to execute your duties successfully.

So learn the art of good communication and remember that your tone is as important as your words.

Treat people with respect and they will respond well. Put them at ease when speaking with them and make sure they clearly understand your message as it was intended. Good communication is essential for effective leadership.

Here are those 15 quotes about communication:-

Quotes about communication (1-5):

  1. Talk low, talk slow and don’t say too much. ~John Wayne
  2. If you can’t convince them, confuse them. ~Harry S. Truman
  3. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. ~George Carlin
  4. The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said. ~Peter Drucker
  5. We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. ~Epictetus

Quotes about communication (6-10):

  1. Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success. ~Paul J. Meyer
  2. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. ~George Bernard Shaw
  3. A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. ~Mark Twain
  4. Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill. ~Buddha
  5. To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others. ~Tony Robbins

Quotes about communication (11-15):

  1. The speed of communications is wondrous to behold. It is also true that speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue. ~Edward R. Murrow
  2. The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words. ~Philip K. Dick
  3. If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time – a tremendous whack. ~Winston Churchill
  4. Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people. ~Jim Rohn
  5. Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, hinder, hurt, harm, humiliate, and humble. ~Yehuda Berg

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Self-promotion and why it matters if you want success

06/30/2024 by

Self-promotionThe idea of self-promotion is something with which many readers will feel slightly uncomfortable.

Perhaps it leaves you feeling a slight sense of unease dear reader; the idea of ‘blowing your own trumpet’ and making sure that others know all about what you have to offer?

By self-promotion, I am referring to personal visibility, particularly in the office or workplace.

Visibility matters:

Does personal visibility really matter that much, you may ask?

Well, that depends on how you think about it really.

If you’re happy to plod along and just accept whatever life decides you should have then it probably doesn’t matter much at all.

However, if success is your aim or if you want to enjoy more of what life can offer then personal visibility is essential.

Think about it. If I don’t know you exist, how can you be a solution to my problem?

How can I possibly know what you have to offer unless I have some visibility of you in action?

And then, if you hide your light under a bushel, how can you build a reputation?

Let’s face it, if I don’t know you exist, then to me you don’t exist at all.

Essential ingredient for success:

If success is your aim, then you have to be seen by people who matter and you must make an impression on them too. That’s important, like it or not.

People need a reason to remember you. So make sure you give them a reason to remember you.

Ideally, you want them to like and respect you. Even if people just love to hate you then that’s better than them being totally indifferent to you.

At least you’ll be known. You have to be visible. As the saying goes, ability without visibility is a liability. It is to you anyway.

The product YOU:

The product that is ‘You’ will only sell if people are aware it exists.

So self-promotion and personal public relations initiatives play an important role in building your reputation and creating a demand for what only you have to offer.

Humility is all very well but diffidence is at best unwise.

You’ll never get anywhere unless you have visibility with the people that matter.

Think about the most successful people; people such as Barack Obama, Nelson Mandela, Donald Trump, Richard Branson, Elvis Presley and John Lennon. Sadly some are no longer with us. Nevertheless, these examples are still valid.

They all make or made an impression on you.

You may not like them but you cannot or could not ignore them. They all have or had that special quality known as presence. You couldn’t fail to notice them. They all have or had self-belief too.

So make sure you get yourself noticed. Stand out in the crowd and give people a reason to remember you.

And remember this old Arab Proverb; Be contrary, Be known.

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27 quotes about self that’ll make you think

06/29/2024 by

quotes about selfToday I thought it would be interesting to explore some quotes about self because we should never underestimate the importance of self. 

Self is the people we are, but it’s also the people we could be. The mountains we could climb and the things we could achieve, with a little self-belief, determination and hard work.

As human beings, we all have enormous potential but sadly, for many people, that potential is never fully realised.

Dear reader, believe in yourself and you could go a very long way indeed. Your potential is limitless. Other people succeed and so could you.

So be inspired then go and show the world your authentic self.

And please feel free to share these quotes or use them when you next have a presentation to do.

Quotes About Self:

  1. Be that self which one truly is. ~Soren Kierkegaard
  2. To thine own self be true. ~William Shakespeare 
  3. Be yourself, but always your better self. ~Karl G. Maeser 
  4. Be bold, be brave enough to be your true self. ~Queen Latifah 
  5. The authentic self is the soul made visible. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach
  6. A day wasted on others is not wasted on one’s self. ~Charles Dickens
  7. If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self. ~Napoleon Hill 
  8. Men are moved by two levers only: fear and self-interest. ~Napoleon Bonaparte 
  9. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? ~APJ Abdul Kalam 
  10. There is no respect for others without humility in one’s self. ~Henri Frederic Amiel 
  11. To know one’s self is wisdom, but not to know one’s neighbours is genius. ~Minna Antrim 
  12. Inner beauty should be the most important part of improving one’s self. ~Priscilla Presley 
  13. If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. ~Marcus Garvey
  14. Freeing yourself was one thing; claiming ownership of that freed self was another. ~Toni Morrison
  15. There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self. ~Benjamin Franklin 
  16. Being cool is being your own self, not doing something that someone else is telling you to do. ~Vanessa Hudgens 
  17. There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self. ~Aldous Huxley 
  18. The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action. ~John Dewey
  19. The most satisfying thing in life is to have been able to give a large part of one’s self to others. ~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin 
  20. I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. ~Aristotle 
  21. Friendship with one’s self is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
  22. There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self. ~Ernest Hemingway
  23. People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. ~Thomas Szasz
  24. Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow You into your happiest, strongest, wisest self. ~Karen Salmansohn 
  25. Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. ~Golda Meir 
  26. Every human has four endowments – self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom. The power to choose, to respond, to change. ~Stephen Covey 
  27. If I could talk to my younger self, I would just say that the path to great things is filled with a lot of stumbles, suffering, and challenges along the way. But if you have the right attitude and know that hard times will pass – and you get up each time – you will reach your destination. ~Jonny Kim 

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90 funny anniversary quotes for that special someone

06/28/2024 by

Looking for some funny anniversary quotes, dear reader? A message you can use when you need to say something witty to that special couple or a loved one?

Well, today I’ve put together 90 amusing messages that I hope you’ll find useful, as well as make you smile.

Enjoy them all and feel free to use them when the need arises.

And if you like them, please pass them on.

Funny anniversary quotes:

1. Funny anniversary quotes for couples:

Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.

How you two are still married is one of life’s great mysteries.

If love is an amazing dream, then marriage is the alarm clock.

Imagine how different your lives would be if you hadn’t swiped right.

A good marriage is one where each partner secretly believes the other got the better deal.

A good marriage is like a casserole. Only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.

Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband. Happy Anniversary.

Well, you’ve made it through another year without one of you either ending up dead or in jail. That’s got to be a win.

Today you celebrate a decision you made long ago. Whether good or bad, decisions are always worth celebrating.

A wedding anniversary is a celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies depending on the year.

2. Funny anniversary quotes for wife:

Today we celebrate the best decision you ever made. Happy Anniversary!

I never knew what happiness was until I married you. By then it was too late.

It’s pretty cool that we’ve been together for however long we’ve been together.

Marriage is just a prison sentence without any prospect of time off for good behaviour.

They say don’t fall in love because it hurts. Well, you’ve proved it’s a risk worth taking.

That we were brought together as a couple surely proves that God has a sense of humour.

Today is a celebration of the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me. It was an impossible task anyway.

Today’s our anniversary. Certainly, you deserve a trophy for putting up with me, but surely I deserve one too for remembering the date?

Our anniversary reminds me that it’s possible for tolerance to triumph over adversity. Who knows how but we’ve definitely proved it’s possible.

You’re the blueberry to my muffin and the sizzle to my steak. With you, the years of wedded bliss have been a piece of cake. I love you always.

3. Funny anniversary quotes for husband:

Another year as my husband. Aren’t you a lucky man?

Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.

You know there’s a name for someone who’s always wrong and that name is husband.

Happy Anniversary. We’ve been through a lot together and most of it was your fault.

Everyone should have a husband like you. I don’t see why I should be the only one to suffer.

I still get that funny feeling in my tummy after all these years. When will I learn not to let you do the cooking?

I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you, even when you fart in bed.

Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember that I put up with you too. So I guess we’re even.

On our anniversary, I want you to know how much fun it’s been annoying you all these years and how much fun it will be to keep on doing so in the years ahead.

RULES FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE; Rule 1: Your wife’s always right; and Rule 2: When you think she’s wrong, slap yourself and read Rule 1 again.

4. Funny anniversary quotes for friends:

One year down and a lifetime to go. Enjoy the crazy ride.

The secret of a happy marriage? Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; and whenever you’re right, shut up

Your relationship works well because of the equal division of labour. He’s the boss and she makes all the decisions.

There are no guarantees when it comes to marriage. If it was a guarantee you wanted, you should have bought a toaster.

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

Forever is a long time, so buckle up and enjoy the ride. Marriage is never easy but it can be worth the effort, says the friend who’s not married.

A cynic might describe marriage as sacrificing the admiration of many for the constant criticism of one. But hey, I’m not a cynic. Happy Anniversary.

Wedding anniversaries are a time of reflection. People consider what it was they did before they were married. Well, if you’ve forgotten, it was anything you wanted to.

When you get to the end of your lives together, none of the possessions you had will matter at all. What will matter is that you managed to put up with each other for so long.

Surely the secret of a happy marriage is date nights. For him on Tuesdays and Thursdays. For her on Wednesdays and Fridays.

5. Funny anniversary quotes for parents:

Here’s to another year of love, laughter and putting up your kids.

Marriage lets you annoy that one special person for the rest of your life.

They say that being married is really something. Then again, so is a tea cosy.

Being married is like having a best friend who doesn’t remember anything you say.

Without the two of you, where would I be? Well, I guess I wouldn’t be anywhere at all.

You’ve unlocked the secret to a happy marriage when most people can’t even find the key.

You’ll never be a dull and boring married couple as long as you have kids as cool as we are. Happy anniversary Mom and Dad.

Being a mom and dad is a tough gig. You have to put up with each other and then you have to put up with me too. That’s got to be love.

They say that the longer parents stay together, the more they look like each other. Well, remember, I’ll be embarrassed if you grow matching beards.

A wedding ring may be like handcuffs from which you can’t escape but it’s nothing in comparison to having your own children. Mom and Dad, we love you.

6. Funny anniversary quotes for daughter and son-in-law:

Amazing! You’ve survived another year. Well done and happy anniversary.

Your wedding day is just a memory now. Well, it would be, if we weren’t still paying for it. Happy Anniversary

We hope your married life is proving to be just like ours. Why should we be the only ones to have suffered? Happy Anniversary

Some people spend their lives on nothing but hedonistic pleasure, whilst others just get married instead. Happy Anniversary

Happily married are just two simple words that are usually mutually exclusive. We hope you’re the exception to prove the rule.

Remember, if you want your marriage to last, the only time you should shout at each other is when the house is on fire. Happy Anniversary

We didn’t think it would last and no one’s more surprised than we are that it has, but we’re very happy for you both nevertheless. Happy Anniversary

There’s nothing like a perfect marriage. There’s no such thing. However, we hope yours is as close to perfection as possible. Happy Anniversary

They say that marriage is a challenging commitment. Well, now you know what taking on a challenging commitment really means. Happy Anniversary

An anniversary should be a joyful celebration, rather than an opportunity to reflect on what might have been. To be glad you did, rather than wish you didn’t. It all comes down to how you choose to see it. See it positively. Happy Anniversary

7. Funny anniversary quotes for son and daughter-in-law:

Congratulations on another year together. It’s not easy but it’s not meant to be. One day you’ll look back and laugh about the experience.

It’s remarkable how you manage to tolerate each other but you do, so best wishes on chalking up another year. Happy Anniversary

Dearest daughter-in-law, how you managed to civilise him we’ll never know but we’re so grateful you did. Happy Anniversary

How can any couple be so happy? It really is a puzzle. Then again, perhaps all is not what it appears to be. Happy Anniversary

Dear daughter-in-law, should you need a good laugh, you only have to look at our son. He’s enough to make anyone smile. Happy Anniversary

Blessings are sent to let you know you’re loved and remembered on this very special day. The anniversary of the day our lives were made so much easier.

Dear daughter-in-law, we prayed our son would find someone like you. A woman with the ability to put up with even the most challenging man.

On your wedding anniversary, dearest daughter-in-law, thank you for making an honest man out of him. That in itself is a considerable achievement.

Anniversaries are a sobering reminder that you’re stuck with each other for life. Either that or an expensive divorce. Either way, it’ll be costly.

Dear daughter-in-law, he’s the wind beneath your duvet. So, if you want a happy marriage, you’d better not feed him beans.

8. Funny anniversary quotes for girlfriend:

You must be a soccer player because you’re definitely a keeper.

You’ll never find the perfect man, so I hope you’ll stick with me.

Last year was difficult, so I’m hoping you won’t make this one quite as bad.

I’m so glad I asked you out when I did. I was surprised you agreed but I love being part of your life. Happy Anniversary!

I love the way you’re always laughing but then again, I guess I’m always giving you so much to laugh about.

With me, what you see is what you get. I know that’s been a disappointment for you but I’m glad you’ve stuck with me anyway.

I was lucky to meet a girl like you and one who overlooks my imperfections. It helps that you’re so short-sighted but thank you anyway.

It’s true, I forget to tell you how much I appreciate all the things you do for me, but I know I can always count on you being there to remind me.

Since we met, things have kept coming at me constantly from left and right. However, I believe you’ll keep your promise to stop throwing things at me.

Darling, I want you to know that I’d climb the mountains, trek through frozen tundra, and swim the oceans just to get close to you. However, I’d really appreciate it if you’d just take my word for it.

9. Funny anniversary quotes for boyfriend:

It’s our anniversary, so congratulations! I can still tolerate you!

If you were a triangle, you’d be an acute one! Happy Anniversary!

Just remember that I’m always right, and we’ll always get along fine!

Sometimes you make me madder than hell, and I’m sure you never know why. It’s your most endearing quality and I love you for it.

I love being with you. Then again, I’m not that fussy, so I’d be happy with anyone really.

It would be hard to picture a life without you. I mean who would pay the mortgage?

I thought that maybe something was missing from my life until I met you. Now I’m sure of it.

I hoped I’d meet Prince Charming one day. However it seems Prince Charming is in high demand, so I guess I’ll have to make do with you.

You came into my life and made all my dreams come true. You’re probably still wondering what you’ve done to deserve such a punishment.

Ever since we first met, you’ve changed my life in more ways than I can count. Then again, I was never very good at counting.

Please share:

Did any of these funny anniversary quotes make you smile, dear reader? I hope so.

If they did, please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

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20 classic Elaine Benes quotes that’ll make you smile

06/27/2024 by

Elaine Benes QuotesAnother offering in my series with the theme of memorable sitcom characters, today I thought it would be entertaining to take a look back at some classic Elaine Benes quotes.

Who can forget this brilliant character from the American sitcom Seinfeld, played by the hugely talented Julia Louis-Dreyfus?

Elaine was a woman holding her own in a man’s world. She was smart and funny and she brought a sparkle to the show. However, like all memorable sitcom characters, she was essentially a little flawed too, as you’ll appreciate from the quotes today.

If you love Seinfeld, I’m sure you will be a fan of Elaine Benes.

However, if you’re not old enough to remember Seinfeld and Elaine Benes, in particular, then you’ll find plenty of amusing clips from this sitcom, and featuring the character Elaine Benes, on YouTube.

They’re all brilliant and definitely well worth a little piece of your time.

So check them out but not before you’ve enjoyed these 20 classic Elaine Benes quotes, which I’m confident will raise a smile or two, and will probably resonate with many female readers too, I’m sure.

Elaine Benes Quotes:

  1. I’m dead now. Gotta go! ~ Elaine Benes
  2. I’m not a lesbian! I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian. ~ Elaine Benes
  3. Some people should just give up. I have. ~ Elaine Benes
  4. I once broke up with someone for not offering me pie. ~ Elaine Benes
  5. We just tease someone ’til they develop an eating disorder. ~ Elaine Benes
  6. I had to take a sick day. I’m so sick of these people. ~ Elaine Benes
  7. He’s a wonderful guy, but I hate his guts. ~ Elaine Benes
  8. Well, that’s the positive thing about getting sick, you get to lose weight. ~ Elaine Benes
  9. I think this is the same one I gave him. He recycled this gift. He’s a re-gifter! ~ Elaine Benes
  10. You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn’t necessarily make you a homosexual. ~ Elaine Benes
  11. I can’t do this anymore, it’s too long! Just tell your stupid story about the stupid desert and just die already! Die! ~ Elaine Benes
  12. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t break up nicely. I mean, to me, that’s one of the most important parts of a relationship. ~ Elaine Benes
  13. You know, men can sit through the most boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off. ~ Elaine Benes
  14. Here’s to those who wish us well, and those who don’t can go to Hell. ~ Elaine Benes
  15. I mean the problem is that the good ones know they’re good. And they know they’re in such demand they’re just not interested in confining themselves to one person. ~ Elaine Benes
  16. That’s the bra I gave her, she’s wearing it as a top! The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. She’s a menace to society. ~ Elaine Benes
  17. Kramer, you don’t understand. He made the last contact between us. I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand. ~ Elaine Benes
  18. You know your whole life you go through painstaking efforts to hide your nipple and then BOOM, suddenly hundreds of people get their own personal shot of it. ~ Elaine Benes
  19. Yeah, since she met him she’s been vomited on, her family cabin’s been burned down, she learned her father’s a homosexual, and she got fired from a high-paying network job. Yeah, they had a real good thing going. ~ Elaine Benes
  20. This whole sex thing is totally overrated. Now, here’s the one thing you’ve gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it’s over. I mean, something happens to their personality; it’s really quite astounding. It’s like they committed a crime and they want to flee the scene before the police get there. ~ Elaine Benes

Please share this post with your friends:

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You did? I hope so anyway.

If you enjoyed them, please share this post with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins.

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7 citas inspiradoras sobre el amor

06/26/2024 by

citas-sobre-el-amorTodos necesitamos amor y necesitamos sentir amor, ¿no estás de acuerdo, querido lector?

Los seres humanos somos criaturas emocionales y sociales y todos necesitamos a otras personas.

Necesitamos sentir que le importamos a otras personas. Y, por supuesto, también nos importan otras personas. Nuestra familia, nuestros amigos y nuestros seres queridos.

Sentimos amor por aquellos que nos importan y nuestro mayor amor es por esa persona especial que más importa.

Sentimos nuestro mayor amor por esa persona en cuya compañía siempre sentimos una sensación de satisfacción.

Si ha encontrado a esa persona especial, entonces tal vez debería arrodillarse y agradecer a Dios por el privilegio porque es realmente afortunado. No todo el mundo tiene tanta suerte.

Aquí hay 7 citas inspiradoras sobre el amor que te ayudarán a reflexionar sobre esta compleja emoción.

Sin embargo, recuerde esto; el amor por sí solo no sostendrá una relación.

Eso requiere trabajo duro y estar preparado para hacer concesiones, con frecuencia.

Sin embargo, sin amor, una relación no tiene ninguna posibilidad.

Si realmente amas a alguien, querrás lo mejor para ellos y estarás preparado para dejar de lado tus propias necesidades de vez en cuando para asegurarte de que sus necesidades también se satisfagan.

En una relación exitosa, todas las partes deben sentir que se respetan y satisfacen sus necesidades, al menos la mayor parte del tiempo.

Amor significa que no puedes salirte con la tuya todo el tiempo.

Citas sobre el amor:

  1. Donde hay amor hay vida. ~Mahatma Gandhi
  2. Solo hay una felicidad en esta vida, amar y ser amado. ~George Sand
  3. Una flor no puede florecer sin el sol y el hombre no puede vivir sin amor. ~Max Muller
  4. A veces, el corazón ve lo que es invisible a los ojos. ~H Jackson Brown
  5. Manten el amor en tu corazon. Una vida sin ella es como un jardín sin sol cuando las flores están muertas. ~Oscar Wilde
  6. Lo mejor a lo que aferrarse en la vida es el uno al otro. ~Audrey Hepburn
  7. El amor es la amistad que se ha encendido. Es comprensión tranquila, confianza mutua, compartir y perdonar. Es lealtad en los buenos y malos momentos. Se conforma con menos que la perfección y tiene en cuenta las debilidades humanas. ~Ann Landers

Comparta estas citas con sus amigos:

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Así que continúa, comparte esta publicación ahora.

Si lo hace, estaré muy agradecido y ayudará a un bloguero entusiasta a llegar a una audiencia más amplia.

Gracias.

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60 witty jokes with puns that will raise a smile or two

06/25/2024 by

jokes with punsIf you enjoy witty jokes with puns in them then today’s post was written just for you, dear reader. I’ve put together 60 great puns that I hope will raise a few smiles with readers.

They all made me smile and I hope they tickle you too.

Grab a coffee and take a few moments to enjoy them all.

And please fee free to pass them on to your friends.

Jokes with puns (1-20):

  1. A joke isn’t a dad joke until it’s full groan.
  2. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
  3. If you have any fresh vegetable puns lettuce know.
  4. I’ve just seen a baguette in the zoo. It’s bread in captivity.
  5. My friend has a dwarf cow that only gives condensed milk.
  6. I’m learning to count in binary and it’s as easy as 1 10 11.
  7. If a deaf man appears in court, is that still called a hearing?
  8. Why is it that you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
  9. I’ve been craving some oxygen and potassium. Is that OK?
  10. 50% off medieval punishment devices. Hurry whilst stocks last!
  11. Should the stealing of someone’s coffee be known as a mugging?
  12. I’m on a nut-free diet. I have to avoid people who drive me nuts.
  13. My son’s put his Grandma on speed dial. He calls it Instagran.
  14. I sympathize with batteries. I’m never included in anything either.
  15. What do we want? An end to acronyms. When do we want it? ASAP!
  16. What’s the difference between a fish and a piano? You can’t tuna fish.
  17. I’ve got a new job as a guillotine operator. I’ll beheading there shortly.
  18. Thanks to autocorrecting, I seem to be having some kind of midlife crisps.
  19. When you’re down by the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a Moray.
  20. I’m trying to think of an egg-sample of food that can be fried or boiled.

Jokes with puns (21-30):

  1. Apparently, the Wheelbuilders Association is looking for a spokesperson.
  2. Grammar’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.
  3. I’d never let my kids watch a symphony orchestra. There’s too much sax and violins.
  4. I’m always being criticized for my poor grammar but why can’t people just except it?
  5. I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator.
  6. My Eastern European mail-order bride is on her way from Prague. I’m told, the Czech’s in the post.
  7. My son’s been eating electrical cable, so I’ve had to ground him until he conducts himself properly.
  8. The President wants to ban pre-shredded cheese. Apparently, his aim is to make America grate again.
  9. Swarms of flying insects are threatening a town. Apparently, the police have deployed a SWAT team.
  10. My wife blocked me on Facebook because I’ve been posting too many bird puns. Well, toucan can play at that game.

 Jokes with puns (31-40):

  1. Did you know that the legendary martial artist and movie star Bruce Lee had a vegan brother? Apparently, his name was Broco Lee.
  2. Why does the Government keep referring to a “Roadmap out of lockdown” when I think it should be the “Road to de-mask-us?”
  3. I’ve been trying to think of a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it with my first try, but nobody saw it, so I guess I screwed up.
  4. There’s a story in the press about a man who assaulted his neighbour with milk and cheese. How dairy!
  5. My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. Apparently, Jack and the beanstalk.
  6. I’m planning to open a fitness centre for Star Trek fans. It will be called, “It’s Life Gym.”
  7. A German butcher traded a sausage for a seabird. Apparently, he took a tern for the wurst.
  8. There are no words in the English language with all the vowels in alphabetical order, I said facetiously.
  9. Why is the divorce rate so high amongst tennis players? Well, to them love is nothing.
  10. I’ve just seen a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. It was a little condescending.

Jokes with puns (41-50):

  1. My local hospital has a sign saying, “Thieves Operate Here.” Personally, I’d prefer that to be surgeons.
  2. Don’t tell your secrets in a garden. The potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the beanstalk.
  3. My geography teacher asked me what I knew about Damascus. I told her that as far as I know, it kills 99% of household germs.
  4. My child was refusing to come with me on a bike ride, so I had to use a little reverse cycology.
  5. A hole has been found in the perimeter wall surrounding the nudist camp. The police are looking into it.
  6. My wife told me that I have what it takes to light up a room, but only if I move away from the window.
  7. There are three types of people in this world. Those who can do arithmetic and those who can’t.
  8. Why do I always wear two pairs of pants when I’m playing golf? Because I always get a hole in one.
  9. I’ve just got back from my appointment with my physician. She said that I’ve got to have an earring made. Seemed like an odd thing for her to say.
  10. I confided with my father that my wife wanted me to stop living in an imaginary world. He said, “What wife?”

Jokes with puns (51-60):

  1. I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d ever been with and she said, “Yes.” Apparently, all the others had been nines and tens.
  2. If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do the other team members have to drown too?
  3. DAD: Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field. DAUGHTER: What’s that got to do with anything? DAD: It’s pasture bedtime.
  4. Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles, my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. Thirty years and not a crossword between us.
  5. A friend of mine has taken early retirement from the Post Office. Apparently, he couldn’t refuse the package they offered.
  6. A lot of people are shocked when they find out what a terrible electrician I am.
  7. I arrive early for my booking at the restaurant last night and the manager asked me if I’d wait a little. “That’s fine,” I said. To which he responded, “That’s great! Take these drinks to Table 5.”
  8. Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at me and I was like, “What the Hellman!”
  9. There was a huge fight last night at my local seafood restaurant. Apparently, there was battered fish everywhere.
  10. Everyone at Liverpool’s John Lennon International Airport has been quarantined. Imagine ….. all the people.

Please share with your friends:

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