50 amusing quotes about cars to make you smile

06/24/2025 by

Learning to drive is one of the most useful skills we learn. Driving is freedom, and what’s not to like about that? I love my car and the freedom it gives me. So, with that in mind, I thought it might be fun to explore some amusing quotes about cars and driving.

Naturally, there are plenty of quotes to choose from. I’ve curated 50 little gems for you today, dear reader. They’re all classified as “Author Unknown,” but that doesn’t mean they’re not memorable or fun.

I’m confident you’ll enjoy them all.

So, grab a coffee and take a few moments to see what others think of cars and driving, and then see if you can come up with a memorable quote of your own.

AMUSING QUOTES ABOUT CARS
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Amusing quotes about cars (1-10):

  1. Parking is such sweet sorrow.
  2. Happiness is a long drive and an old song.
  3. Honking is the car’s way of saying ‘I have feelings too!’
  4. The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
  5. Driving a stick shift makes you feel like a wizard, or maybe just old.
  6. My car and I have so much in common. We both scream for no reason.
  7. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a Lamborghini and that’s close.
  8. My car’s GPS has an ‘avoid potholes’ feature. It directs me to stay at home.
  9. A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons still left in the tank.
  10. Parallel parking is a skill many achieve, but few master. For the rest, there’s hope and parking lots.

Amusing quotes about cars (11-20):

  1. Life is too short for boring cars.
  2. My dream car is one that runs on laughter.
  3. Racing is the art of turning money into noise.
  4. Friends come and go, but a good mechanic is forever.
  5. Cars are like kids. If they’re making a noise, something’s probably wrong.
  6. I named my car ‘Stress’ because it’s always breaking down at traffic lights.
  7. When you drive as fast as I do, cholesterol is not something you worry about.
  8. Car love is true love. Why else would you talk sweetly to it when it won’t start?
  9. I don’t need to go to therapy. I just need to cruise the open road with my best buddy.
  10. Always drive like someone’s watching. Because they probably are, they’re called ‘traffic cameras.’

Amusing quotes about cars (21-30):

  1. Why did the car sit down? It was too tired!
  2. Cars and coffee are my two favourite ‘C’ words.
  3. If you think I’m cute now, wait until you see my Maserati.
  4. Couples who travel together, fight over directions together.
  5. Most of my money goes on my car and the rest I just waste.
  6. You know you’re an adult when joyriding involves doing errands.
  7. Traffic jams are just nature’s way of making sure you listen to your entire playlist.
  8. If you’ve never driven your car on the edge, then you’ve never really driven your car.
  9. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy an old 1965 Ford Mustang and lovingly restore it.
  10. Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds everything in the universe together, especially my car.

Amusing quotes about cars (31-40):

  1. A clean car is a sign of a sick mind.
  2. If my car could talk, it would probably just complain.
  3. Love is sharing your playlist with someone on a long drive.
  4. Car sickness is when you get sick of making car payments.
  5. The closest thing I’ve got to a sports car is a speeding ticket.
  6. Ecstasy is a long drive along a coastal road with some great music playing.
  7. If cars had feelings, traffic would just be a prolonged group therapy session.
  8. Some refer to it as road rage. I prefer to call it aggressive car communication.
  9. I treat my car like I treat my pets: I talk to it, pamper it, and sometimes yell when it doesn’t listen.
  10. My car sometimes feels like a hotel room. Not because it’s luxurious, but because I leave a mess in it.

Amusing quotes about cars (41-50):

  1. You can’t be sad while driving a sports car.
  2. Some days, my car is the only thing that listens to me.
  3. We have traffic signals because cars need time-outs too.
  4. Cars were invented as a faster way of fleeing from commitment.
  5. If your car could read your thoughts, it’d probably need therapy.
  6. If my car was a person, we’d probably argue over who’s more tired.
  7. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy cars, so that’ll do for now.
  8. Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall. Torque is how far you take the wall with you.
  9. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather, not screaming like the passengers in his taxi.
  10. I have two moods: 1. Constantly checking my fuel gauge. 2. Living on the edge with the fuel warning light on.
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Philosophy for Life & Success: 30 Quotes by Roy Sutton

06/23/2025 by

If I’m honest, dear reader, I must admit that including some quotes by Roy Sutton in a blog post is a bit self-indulgent.

Indeed, it’s unlikely that many people will search Google for quotes by Roy Sutton.

However, believe it or not, a reader asked me for some quotes of my own that illustrate my philosophy on life and success.

Well, as a blogger, my raison d’être is to share my thoughts and ideas. So, I thought today I’d share some quotes to see what reaction I get from my wider readership.

These quotes reflect my philosophy on life, success, and striving to be the best you can be.

They’ve all been shared originally on X, so I hope that if they’ve appealed to another audience, then they might appeal to regular readers of this blog.

As a blogger, you must believe that you have something to say and be willing to share it while also accepting feedback, both positive and negative.

Today, I’m sharing my philosophy with you, dear reader, and I hope that some of these quotes will inspire you to feel empowered to succeed.

Above all, I hope you’ll find today’s quotes engaging and thought-provoking.

Quotes by Roy Sutton
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30 Quotes by Roy Sutton (1-10):

  1. Hatred is fear’s ugly sister.
  2. Life’s too short to be unhappy.
  3. Smile whilst you still have teeth!
  4. You’ll never have today again. So enjoy it.
  5. Everything involves risk, including not taking a risk.
  6. Your future’s yet to be written but you’ve got the pen. 
  7. Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason. 
  8. If you want something then you’ve got to give something in return. There’s always a price to be paid. Nothing’s for free. 
  9. Either life’s a great adventure or it’s nothing. Make it a great adventure and enjoy every minute, because you only go around once.
  10. You don’t decide your future. You make choices and your choices decide your future. Choices matter. Learn to make good ones.

30 Quotes by Roy Sutton (11-20):

  1. Other people’s perception of you is none of your business. Don’t be limited by what others think. 
  2. Never fear having a go. Fear only that should you not try you’ll never know what might have been. 
  3. At work you’re replaceable but at home, you’re not. That should tell you where your priority should be.
  4. No one is perfect. We’re all imperfect. So embrace your imperfections. They’re what make you different from the crowd. 
  5. Never again will you be as young as you are today. So forget your age and focus on making the most of life whilst you still can. 
  6. Your years on this earth will teach you far more than you could possibly learn in any university or college of further education.
  7. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Go boldly in the direction of your dreams and don’t stop until you get to where you want to be. 
  8. It doesn’t matter what you do, there’ll always be someone who will criticise you given the opportunity. Just do your best and ignore the critics.
  9. Don’t be ashamed of all the challenges you’ve had to overcome. Your story can be an inspiration to others. You may have had it tough but you’re still here and you’ve not allowed yourself to be defeated. That makes you a role model. 
  10. Yesterday was full of lessons and tomorrow is an endless stream of opportunities. Use yesterday’s lessons to capitalise on tomorrow’s opportunities. You can be all you’d like to be and much more besides.

30 Quotes by Roy Sutton (21-30):

  1. People believe what they want to believe, especially when they’re desperate. 
  2. Money is simply the scorecard for the transfer of value between people in a society. 
  3. Greatness is achieved by what you do, not what you say. Deeds will always beat words. 
  4. We all have a role to play. On Spaceship Earth we’re all crew. We’re all here to make a contribution. 
  5. If you hope politicians will improve your life, you’ll always be disappointed. If your life is to improve, you must take responsibility for it yourself.
  6. When everything’s going well for you and you start to feel you can do no wrong, think twice. Almost certainly, you’re much more vulnerable than you realise.
  7. If you don’t tend your own garden regularly it will be attacked quickly by noxious weeds. Life’s like that too. We must all take good care of that which is precious to us.
  8. Do not underestimate the power of your voice. Your voice matters. Use it. To be silent is to be irrelevant. Ensure that people know how you feel about those things that matter to you.
  9. Never let anyone tell you how you should think. Think for yourself and draw your own conclusions. No one has a monopoly on knowing what’s best. Your opinion is just as valid as the next person’s.
  10. Remaining loyal to the circumstances into which you were born is not a noble act. It’s perfectly reasonable to want more from life. Just because you were born poor doesn’t mean you have to remain poor.
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25 funny facts to entertain and amuse you

06/19/2025 by

If you want to amaze people with the variety and depth of your knowledge, then it’s always helpful to have a few weird and funny facts at your disposal.

So here are 25 funny facts to entertain and amuse you. I found them all fascinating, and I hope you do too, dear reader.

See how many of these facts you can work into your conversations today.

And please, feel free to share this post with your friends.

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Funny Facts:

  1. China has censored their word for censorship.
  2. Cows moo with regional accents.
  3. The female lion does 90% of the hunting.
  4. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
  5. Over 75% of people who read Fact No 4 will then try to lick their elbow.
  6. 50% of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
  7. Dolly Parton once lost out to a drag queen in a Dolly Parton look-alike contest.
  8. The blob of toothpaste you put on your toothbrush is called a nurdle.
  9. Putting in a vase will make flowers stand up straight for a week beyond when they would normally wilt.
  10. One-quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.
  11. A man once wore 60 shirts and nine pairs of jeans on a flight from China to Africa to avoid paying for excess baggage at check-in. 
  12. There’s a village in Norway called Hell and it freezes over every winter.
  13. It would take 76 workdays to read every online privacy policy we agree to in an average year.
  14. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.
  15. In an average lifetime, while sleeping, people will eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.
  16. 27% of all food produced in Western nations ends up in garbage cans.
  17. If you went out into space, you’d explode before you’d suffocate because there’s no air pressure.
  18. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
  19. A chip of silicon a quarter-inch square has the capacity of the original 1945 ENIAC computer, which occupied an entire city block.
  20. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
  21. You can tell the sex of a horse by its teeth. Most males have 40, whilst females have 36.
  22. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, then you’d have $1.19. You’d also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
  23. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
  24. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people
  25. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.

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25 quotes by George Bernard Shaw to get you thinking

06/16/2025 by
25 quotes by George Bernard Shaw

Today, I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the many quotes by George Bernard Shaw.

George Bernard Shaw was an Irish playwright, critic, and political activist.

His influence on Western theatre, culture, and politics extended from the 1880s to his death and indeed beyond.

Shaw was born in Dublin but moved to London in 1876, at the age of 20.

While he struggled to establish himself as a writer and novelist, he embarked on a rigorous process of self-education.

Views publicly expressed by Shaw were often contentious, and he courted unpopularity by denouncing both sides in the First World War (WW1).

Though not a Republican, he was also critical of British policy on Ireland in the post-WW1 period.

Shaw continued to write prolifically until shortly before his death, at the age of 94, and he left us with a legacy of interesting observations.

So, today I offer you 25 such observations in the form of quotes by George Bernard Shaw, all of which will make you think, I’m sure.

Take a few minutes to read these quotes and be inspired.

And please feel free to share them.

And if you’re on the move, take a look at the video version of the quotes below.

Quotes by George Bernard Shaw
Photo Credit: Alfred Stieglitz Collection
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Quotes by George Bernard Shaw (1-15):

  1. Youth is wasted on the young.
  2. Lack of money is the root of all evil.
  3. All great truths begin as blasphemies.
  4. He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.
  5. The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
  6. A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
  7. Science never solves a problem without creating ten more.
  8. Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
  9. Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.
  10. There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.
  11. Take care to get what you like, or you’ll be forced to like what you get.
  12. We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
  13. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
  14. A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
  15. You see things and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were, and I say, ‘Why not?’

Quotes by George Bernard Shaw (16-25):

  1. The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
  2. Success does not consist in never making mistakes, but in never making the same one a second time.
  3. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
  4. Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
  5. Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men’s imperfections and conceal your own.
  6. When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So, I did ten times more work.
  7. The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.
  8. The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it and become blind to the arguments against it.
  9. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.
  10. The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.

Video with audio commentary:

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60 Truisms reflecting life and the human condition

06/14/2025 by

I’m often guilty of using truisms to reinforce a message, particularly when I’m giving a presentation.

People will often say that while truisms are generally accepted as obvious truths when repeated frequently, they can seem boring or clichéd.

Well, I think they’re useful tools for making points about life and the human condition and, occasionally, raising a smile too.

We smile because we recognise the underlying truth, which is always at the heart of great wit.

Today, dear reader, I offer you 60 examples of truisms that I love and frequently use.

Take a few moments to review them all, and feel free to share them with your friends.

Alternatively, you might want to use some of these truisms yourself.

In that case, please see how many of them you can use in your conversations today.

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Examples of truisms (1-20):

  1. Life isn’t fair.
  2. The truth will out.
  3. Patience is a virtue.
  4. Money makes money.
  5. It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.
  6. Stupid is as stupid does.
  7. We’re all cremated equal.
  8. A friend in need is a pest.
  9. All that glitters is not gold.
  10. Some things never change.
  11. Money can’t buy happiness.
  12. You can’t argue with stupid.
  13. You’ll get what you tolerate.
  14. The end justifies the means.
  15. Life’s a bitch, and then you die.
  16. No one saves us but ourselves.
  17. He would say that wouldn’t he?
  18. No man can serve two masters.
  19. Everything happens for a reason.
  20. A penny saved is a penny earned.

Examples of truisms (21-40):

  1. You can observe a lot by watching.
  2. Personality cannot be Photoshopped.
  3. Necessity is the mother of invention.
  4. You must be a friend to have a friend.
  5. There’s always a price. Nothing’s free.
  6. If he were not dead, he’d still be alive.
  7. The apple never falls far from the tree.
  8. A fool and his money are easily parted.
  9. Good things come to those who hustle.
  10. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
  11. Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.
  12. I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
  13. Good people bring out the good in people.
  14. Chase two rabbits, and you’ll catch neither.
  15. A man is known by the company he keeps.
  16. Sometimes the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.
  17. A house divided against itself cannot stand.
  18. There’s always someone worse off than you.
  19. You can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.
  20. Gossip dies when it hits a wise person’s ears.

Examples of truisms (41-60):

  1. Your behaviour makes you the person you are.
  2. Money can’t buy life or the wag of a dog’s tail.
  3. You can’t get 10 pounds of crap into a 5-pound bag.
  4. You can only help someone who wants to be helped.
  5. The customer’s always right, even when he’s wrong.
  6. I don’t want to live forever, but I do want to live today.
  7. Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
  8. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
  9. Everything’s funny when it’s happening to someone else.
  10. For life to improve, we must take charge of our own lives.
  11. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.
  12. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.
  13. Smile, and the world smiles with you. Cry, and you cry alone.
  14. Dropped toast always lands jam-side down on a new carpet.
  15. The mirror doesn’t lie, but fortunately, it doesn’t laugh either.
  16. You are responsible for your own success and your own failure.
  17. It’s the rich that get the pleasure, and the rest get the pain.
  18. Beauty’s only skin deep, but ugly goes right through to the bone.
  19. I know what’s around the corner; I just don’t know where the corner is.
  20. There’s a difference between the truth and that which we wish were true.
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If they were, then perhaps they might interest others too.

Please share them with your friends on social media, because when you share, everyone wins.

If you could share them now, I’ll be forever grateful.

Like every blogger, I can only keep doing what I do if readers are viewing my blog posts. So you can help me, dear reader.

Thank you. Your support is truly appreciated, dear reader.

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Wit & Wisdom: 40 Amusing Quotes by Famous People

06/13/2025 by

If you’re seeking amusing quotes by famous people, then look at this collection of wit and wisdom that I’ve curated for you today, dear reader.

Whether it’s a hearty chuckle you seek or a spark of genius, I’ve got you covered.

This handpicked treasure trove of quotes from some of history’s most brilliant minds is just for you.

So, illuminate your day, impress your friends, and enjoy these timeless gems.

If amusement is what you’re after, read on.

AMUSING QUOTES BY FAMOUS PEOPLE
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Amusing quotes by famous people (1-10):

  1. The road to hell is paved with adverbs. ~Stephen King
  2. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ~W.C. Fields
  3. You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. ~Jack London
  4. I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. ~Mark Twain
  5. Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. ~Oscar Wilde
  6. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ~Stephen Wright
  7. Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead. ~Charles Bukowski
  8. Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them. ~Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler)
  9. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. ~Groucho Marx
  10. I have nothing to declare except my genius. ~Oscar Wilde (upon arriving at U.S. customs)

Amusing quotes by famous people (11-20):

  1. If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you. ~Billy Wilder
  2. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. ~Bob Hope
  3. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours. ~Yogi Berra
  4. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. ~Oscar Wilde
  5. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all its pupils. ~Louis Hector Berlioz
  6. There is no surer way to misread any document than to read it literally. ~G.K. Chesterton
  7. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. ~Benjamin Franklin
  8. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer. ~Douglas Adams
  9. To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. ~Oscar Wilde
  10. I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. ~Woody Allen
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Amusing quotes by famous people (21-30):

  1. I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. ~Steven Wright
  2. Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes. ~Jim Carrey
  3. If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? ~Robin Williams
  4. I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical. ~Arthur C. Clarke
  5. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. ~Tom Clancy
  6. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ~Douglas Adams
  7. Never put off until tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well. ~Mark Twain
  8. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. ~Sir Winston Churchill
  9. When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’. ~John D. MacDonald
  10. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains. ~Seth Grahame-Smith, “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” (parodying Jane Austen)

Amusing quotes by famous people (31-40):

  1. I’m too drunk to taste this chicken. ~Colonel Sanders
  2. I can resist everything except temptation. ~Oscar Wilde
  3. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? ~Robin Williams
  4. Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. ~Mae West 
  5. I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. ~David Lee Roth
  6. I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception. ~Groucho Marx
  7. Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. ~Christopher Marlowe
  8. I’d rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort. ~Jean Paul Getty
  9. If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. ~Dorothy Parker
  10. I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job. ~Samuel Goldwyn
40 Amusing Quotes by Famous People
40 Amusing Quotes by Famous People
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If any of these amusing quotes by famous people made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. Please share this post now.

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15 awesome quotes that are truly inspirational

06/12/2025 by

Looking for some awesome quotes, dear reader? Well, I have 15 good ones for you today. I’m confident that they’ll all make you think, and they are truly inspirational.

Allow me to stress that the points made about the references to men in the quotes apply equally to women.

So, ladies, if you are using such a quote, feel free to substitute the word ‘woman’ for ‘man.’ There’s nothing wrong with a little poetic licence (or poetic license, depending on your preferred spelling).

Anyway, take a few moments to enjoy them all and be inspired.

And please feel free to pass them on.

AWESOME QUOTES
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Awesome Quotes:

  1. Years teach us more than books. ~Berthold Auerbach
  2. A wise man learns by the mistakes of others; a fool by his own. ~Latin Proverb
  3. By associating with wise people you will become wise yourself. ~Menander
  4. The wise man does at once what the fool does finally. ~Niccolo Machiavelli
  5. Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men. ~Harry Day
  6. A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion. ~Grantland Rice
  7. The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. ~Thomas Szasz
  8. The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence; the second is listening, the third is memory, the fourth is practice, and the fifth is teaching others. ~Solomon Ibn Gabriol
  9. The wise man should be prepared for everything that does not lie within his control. ~Pythagoras
  10. People often forget what we say but they will always remember how we made them feel. ~Author Unknown
  11. The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention. ~Oscar Wilde
  12. Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away. ~Sir Arthur Helps
  13. You will regret many things in life, but you will never regret being too kind or too fair. ~Brian Tracy
  14. Never underestimate the power of showing your appreciation. A simple thank you can mean so much to people. Let people know that you appreciate what they’ve done for you. ~Roy Sutton
  15. Life is very interesting; in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths. ~Drew Barrymore

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51 Funny footballer quotes for soccer fans everywhere

06/11/2025 by
51 Funny footballer quotes

How do you refer to it, football or soccer? The beautiful game is well known by both names worldwide. And wherever you go, players can say some silly things at times. So I thought it might be interesting to curate some funny footballer quotes, or, if you prefer, funny soccer quotes.

Whether you prefer to call it football or soccer, one thing is true: the players and people associated with the game can say some of the funniest things at times.

Over the years, players, managers, coaches, commentators, and pundits have all come up with some memorable quotes and one-liners, some intentional, others inadvertent. Either way, they’re always amusing.

So, here are 51 funny footballer quotes. Enjoy them all, and then please share them with others.

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Funny footballer quotes (1 – 25):

  1. I love these players with two feet. ~Michael Owen
  2. They were numerically outnumbered. ~Garry Birtles
  3. He’s got a lot of self-belief in himself. ~Graham Beecroft
  4. To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch. ~Ruud Gullit
  5. I’ve been consistent in patches this season. ~Theo Walcott
  6. Apparently, it’s my fault that the Titanic sank. ~Ian Holloway
  7. I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. ~Stuart Pearce
  8. And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0. ~Ian Darke
  9. I’d like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona. ~Mark Draper
  10. Winning doesn’t really matter, as long as you win. ~Vinny Jones
  11. Reading won’t have the confidence to be confident. ~Paul Merson
  12. When you’re 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1. ~Lawrie McMenemy
  13. That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post. ~Michael Owen
  14. Some people cannot see a priest on a mountain of sugar. ~Rafa Benitez
  15. If there’s a bit of rain about it makes the surface wet. ~ Michael Owen
  16. Wilkins sends an inch-perfect pass to no one in particular. ~Byron Butler
  17. I couldn’t settle in Italy. It was like living in a foreign country. ~Ian Rush
  18. The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23. ~Kevin Keegan
  19. If we played like this every week, we wouldn’t be so inconsistent. ~Bryan Robson
  20. Chile have three options. They could win, or they could lose. ~Kevin Keegan
  21. That is a fantastic penalty, but he will be gutted it went wide. ~Michael Owen
  22. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I wasn’t on that particular job. ~Brian Clough
  23. If Rojo wasn’t left-footed, he’d have used his right for that one. ~Michael Owen
  24. Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you’re 80-20 sure of winning it. ~Ian Darke
  25. Oh, he had an eternity to play that ball, but he took too long about it. ~Martin Tyler
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Funny footballer quotes (26 – 51):

  1. Blackburn have got two strikers on and they’re both playing upfront. ~Michael Owen
  2. We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought. ~Sir Bobby Robson
  3. For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip. ~John Motson
  4. Diego Maradona – a flawed genius who has now become a genius who is flawed. ~Bob Wilson
  5. They’re the second-best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that. ~Kevin Keegan
  6. We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other three percent that cost us the match. ~Ruud Gullit
  7. If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he’s have put grass up there. ~Brian Clough
  8. I know what’s around the corner. I just don’t know where the corner is. ~Kevin Keegan
  9. I’m out at the moment, but should you be the chairman of Barcelona, AC Milan, or Real Madrid, I’ll get straight back to you. The rest can wait. ~Joe Kinnear
  10. I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the world. But I was in the top one. ~Brian Clough
  11. I never comment on referees, and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat. ~Ron Atkinson
  12. It’s definitely hit Defoe’s hand as it’s gone in, but it’s not a handball for me. ~Michael Owen
  13. What a shot! That’s completely unstoppable, but the keeper’s got to do better for me. ~Michael Owen
  14. I’ve had 14 bookings this season, eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable. ~Paul Gascoigne
  15. If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won’t lay any eggs in the basket. ~Sir Bobby Robson
  16. I’d been ill and hardly trained for a week, and I’d been out of the team for three weeks before that. So I wasn’t sharp. I got cramp before half-time as well. But I’m not one to make excuses. ~Clinton Morrison
  17. Djimi Traore had to adapt to the English game, and he did that by going out on loan to Lens last season. ~ Ian Rush
  18. I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. ~George Best
  19. My parents have been there for me ever since I was about seven. ~David Beckham
  20. Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match. ~Ian Wright
  21. What will you do when you leave football, Jack? Will you stay in football? ~Stuart Hall
  22. I always used to put my right boot on first, and then, obviously, my right sock. ~Barry Venison
  23. I am a firm believer that if you score one goal, the other team have to score two to win. ~Howard Wilkinson
  24. If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again. ~Terry Venables
  25. I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet. ~David Beckham
  26. We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass. ~Brian Clough
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Please share this post now.

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15 sharp and sometimes witty quotes by Mark Twain

06/10/2025 by

Today, I’m exploring quotes by Mark Twain.

Samuel Langhorne Clemens is better known to us all by his pen name, Mark Twain.

In my opinion, he was one of the greatest American writers, as well as a humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.

In short, he was a significant talent, and much of what he had to say is still worthy of our attention.

Here are 15 quotes by Mark Twain to support my point.

QUOTES BY MARK TWAIN
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Quotes by Mark Twain:

  1. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. ~Mark Twain
  2. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. ~Mark Twain
  3. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. ~Mark Twain
  4. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. ~Mark Twain
  5. A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read. ~Mark Twain
  6. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. ~Mark Twain
  7. Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. ~Mark Twain
  8. Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others. ~Mark Twain
  9. Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. ~Mark Twain
  10. Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. ~Mark Twain
  11. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. ~Mark Twain
  12. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. ~Mark Twain
  13. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain
  14. The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. ~Mark Twain
  15. I never let schooling interfere with my education. ~Mark Twain

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31 stupid quotes that make no sense that’ll make you think

06/09/2025 by

Now, do you like quotes, dear reader? I love them. Today, I thought it would be fun to take a look at some stupid quotes that make no sense.

There are times when people say some silly things; I’m sure you’ll agree. I’ve been known to say some silly things myself. However, though they may be silly, such things can be amusing too.

So here are 31 stupid quotes that make no sense but are more thought-provoking than they first appear to be. And some of them are definitely amusing.

So enjoy them all, and feel free to pass them on.

STUPID QUOTES THAT MAKE NO SENSE
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Stupid quotes that make no sense (1-15):

  1. He’s about as sharp as a marble.
  2. Less is more. Surely that’s obvious?
  3. Not taking risks is life’s biggest gamble.
  4. We can’t keep calm. We’re all mad here.
  5. It’s always darkest before it’s pitch black.
  6. I’m pretty sure I’ve seized the wrong day.
  7. Only our parents’ children are always right.
  8. Life gives the test first and then the lesson.
  9. Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can’t see
  10. Whether a man marries or not, he will regret it.
  11. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
  12. War doesn’t decide who’s right, only who’s left.
  13. I must be a squirrel because I attract all the nuts.
  14. When life gives you melons, you could be dyslexic.
  15. I’m on the whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already.

Stupid quotes that make no sense (16-31):

  1. Ignorance is temporary, but stupid is permanent.
  2. I adore spontaneity, as long as it’s carefully planned.
  3. A virgin birth, I can believe, but three wise men? Really?
  4. I’m not superstitious, but I can be a bit stitious at times.
  5. I tried being normal. It was the worst two minutes of my life.
  6. You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
  7. People tell me I might be schizophrenic, but I’m in two minds.
  8. I was going to take on the world today, but I overslept again.
  9. YARD SALE: Take a look around. Our crap could be your crap.
  10. Dress for the body you have, not the body you wish you had.
  11. Marriage means being committed. Then again, so does insanity.
  12. If you don’t want to be mistaken for a doormat, get off the floor.
  13. There would be many people alive today if there was a death penalty.
  14. Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
  15. My husband tells me that if I ever decide to leave, he’s coming with me.
  16. My mind is like someone emptied the kitchen junk drawer onto a trampoline.
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If any of them made you think or made you smile, perhaps your friends and colleagues might enjoy this post too.

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Go on, share it now, and I’ll be ever so grateful.

You’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience, and that will be your good deed for the day.

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