50 funny one-line jokes that’ll tickle you

Attention, laughter-seekers! Have you ever had one of those days where you just need a quick chuckle to lift your spirits? Well, you’ve just struck comedic gold! Dive into this collection of 50 funny one-line jokes and you’ll be tickled silly.

These aren’t just any jokes, they’re bite-sized bursts of joy, tailor-made to brighten your day in a flash.

So, go on, take a few moments to indulge in some humour therapy. After all, laughter is always the best medicine.

If you’re ready for a laughter spree? Read on!

Funny One-Line Jokes (1-10):

Welcome to the Assumption Club! I think we all know why we’re here.

Remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
The only thing flat-earthers must fear is sphere itself.
A recent study showed that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy.

If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
Am I getting older or is the supermarket finally playing great music?
Runner accidentally shot with starting pistol! Police say it’s race-related.

A massive swarm of flying insects has invaded our town. The Police have deployed a swat team.
My teachers told me that I’d never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic. Well, I’ve shown them how wrong they were because I’ve just won a prize for the vase I made.
I’ve just bought a new gadget. It’s a GPS for Seniors. Not only does it tell me how to get to where I’m going, but it also reminds me when I get there, why I was going there in the first place.

Funny One-Line Jokes (11-20):

Old age is like underwear. It creeps up on you.
Do gun manuals have a troubleshooting section?
What begins as a love triangle ends as wrecktangle.

It’s a fact; butterflies are not what they used to be.
I went to the Indian store to buy bread. They had Naan.
To the thief who took my anti-depressants. I hope you’re happy now.

If you’re pining for a good tree pun, it’s a pity they’re not more poplar.
When you’re down by the sea and an eel bites your knee that’s a Moray.
Let’s give a big shout-out to your fingers because you can always count on them.

They said dance like no one was watching. So, I did, whilst on jury duty, and now I’ve been charged with Contempt of Court.

Funny One-Line Jokes (21-30):

Taller people sleep longer in bed.
I can do paper or plastic because i’m bisackual.

What happens if two snails get into a fight? They slug it out.
I had a dream about mufflers last night. I woke up exhausted.
Puns about communism aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

Forklift operators hate puns. Apparently, they find them unpalletable.
Thought for today: When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, do you become a vacuum cleaner?
A Plumber’s truck has just passed me with the sign on it saying, “We repair what your husband fixed!”

I just saw a sign in my local optician’s window that says, “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
There’s a sign in my local shoe repair store window that says, “We will heel you. We will save your sole. And we will even dye for you!“

Funny One-Line Jokes (31-40):

I’m looking to buy an old, disused lighthouse but nothing too flashy.

In the front yard of a Funeral Home, it says, “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
Don’t you just hate people who can’t let go of the past? Debt collectors are the worst.
Someone broke into my house and stole all the fruit. Who would do that? I’m peachless!

Sign on the back of Septic Tank Truck: “Caution! This truck is full of political promises.”
There are so many scams on the internet nowadays. Send me $50 and I’ll tell you how to avoid them.
In my local restaurant window, it says, “Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

Question of the Day: Did the guy who coined the term “One Hit Wonder” ever come up with any other memorable phrases?
At the job interview, they asked me whether I could perform under pressure. I said, “No, but I’m willing to try Bohemian Rhapsody.”
As a child, I didn’t care how I dressed, my parents dressed me. Looking through the old family photos, it’s obvious my parents didn’t care either.

Funny One-Line Jokes (41-50):

It’s weird being the same age as old people.
It’s irritating when people don’t know the difference between your and you’re. There so stupid.
We come from dust, and to dust we will return. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

I wasn’t my parents’ favourite child, but I was the first one they thought of whenever the police turned up.
People say love is the best feeling, but I don’t agree. Surely, finding a toilet when you’ve got diarrhoea is a much better feeling?
The older I get, the more I regret all the people I’ve lost over the years. Maybe being a trail guide wasn’t such a great idea after all.

A friend of mine finally gathered enough courage to ask the supermarket cashier for a date. She said, “They’re in the fruits section next to the bananas.“
The job interviewer said, “It says in your resume that you went to Harvard University.” I smiled and said, “Yes! I was there for my cousin’s graduation.”
A sign in bold type in the window at Sid’s Maintenance Shop said, “I CAN REPAIR ANYTHING!” Under that, it said, “Please Knock Hard. Doorbell Doesn’t Work.”

I rang my local restaurant and asked, “Do you do takeaways?” A polite guy at the other end said, “Yes, we do!” Cheerfully, I responded, “That’s great! What’s 352 minus 97?”

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