Funny Comebacks: Here are 37 for dealing with rude people

The art of funny comebacks is well worth developing.

We all have to deal with rude comments and mean, spiteful people occasionally. That’s all part of human existence.

However, how often do you wish you had a suitable response ready to go to put such people firmly in their place?

If only you had a stock of funny comebacks to choose from when situations dictated.

Well, here are 37 funny comebacks that you might find useful when you’re faced with dealing with rude, mean, or difficult people. How many of these can you work into your day today?

If there are any of these funny comebacks that you particularly like, then please share this post with your friends, but not before you’ve enjoyed them all first.

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Funny Comebacks (1-10):

You know you really should buy some breath mints?

I have better things to do than listen to you.
Whoever told you to be yourself has given you bad advice.
I don’t care what everyone else says; I don’t think you’re that bad.

Stupidity’s not a crime, so you’re free to go.
I believed in evolution until I met you.
Have you ever wondered why people don’t like you?

I accept that I’m not perfect, but at least I’m not you.
If ignorance is bliss, then you must be the happiest person on the planet.
You always bring me so much joy ……. the minute you leave the room.

Funny Comebacks (11-20):

I don’t need a proctologist to tell me you’re an asshole.
I’m not a cactus expert, but I do know a prick when I see one.
I would explain it to you but I have neither the time nor the crayons!

Sorry, buddy but I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.
Look, if I wanted to hear from an asshole, all I had to do was fart.
If only your dad had used a condom, the world would be a better place.

You have your entire life to be a jerk. Take a day off and give the rest of us a break.
Everyone said you were unpleasant, but I didn’t believe them ……. until now.
Sorry, but you’re confusing me with someone who actually cares about what you think.

Are you always such an idiot, or do you just like to show off when I’m around?

Funny Comebacks (21-30):

I don’t remember asking for your opinion.
I understand what you’re saying, but if I agreed with you, then we’d both be wrong.

Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you’re abusing the privilege.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Well, me neither.
No wonder everyone talks about you behind your back.

Mirrors don’t lie, and lucky for you, they don’t laugh either.
I was going to give you a nasty look, but I can see you’ve already got one.
I’m busy; you’re ugly. Have a nice day.

Why don’t you check eBay and see if they have a personality for sale?
It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid rather than open it and remove all doubt.

Funny Comebacks (31-37):

I hope you step on a Lego with your bare feet.

You only annoy me when you’re breathing, really.
Of course, I talk like an idiot. How else would you be able to understand me?
You can keep rolling your eyes if you must, but you’re unlikely to find a brain back there.

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
Don’t hate me, because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
You sir, are a human version of period cramps.

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