Wisdom

1 tip for parents: Why you should let your child fail and make mistakes

Why you should let your child fail and make mistakes is an interesting statement, don’t you think? It sounds counterintuitive, but it does make sense if you think about it.

Frequently, children are taught that failing is inherently a bad thing and something about which they should almost feel a sense of shame.

The adults around them presumably believe that this will in some way motivate them to work so hard that they don’t fail.

However, failure is inevitable for everyone, at least occasionally. And failure is an essential part of the learning process.

Why you should let your child fail and make mistakes
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The importance of mistakes:

However well-intentioned adults might be in their approach, the logic of stigmatizing mistakes is at best misguided.

The problem is that it encourages children to adopt a strategy of not trying, so they don’t fail. If they don’t try, they can’t fail, right?

Teach them this approach, and kids will have an easy way to neutralize any problem in the future. That is, just don’t bother in the first place. How can that be a good thing?

If they don’t try, how can they ever master any skill, or indeed anything?

Mistakes are an important source of experience. From our mistakes, we learn lessons that we will never forget.

We also learn about what we’re good at and what we enjoy doing. And that’s important because those factors will point us in the direction of where we might find a successful niche for ourselves in life. Our raison d’etre.

Character is important too:

Being challenged is essential for children and young people. It gives them an opportunity to prove themselves and, in doing so, build character, confidence, and growth in self-esteem.

However, if they don’t try and they don’t rise to the challenges they’re given, how will they ever grow in character?

No one ever started as a master of anything. It doesn’t matter what line of work you consider or what subject you study; every expert started out as a complete beginner.

And it doesn’t matter how talented you are; you’ll still make mistakes and experience failures along the road to mastering your craft.

A lesson learned is experience gained:

The lessons young people will learn from failure are far more valuable to them than anything anyone can tell them.

They can read textbooks as many times as they like, but there’s no substitute for real, hands-on experience.

When you get your fingers burned, you never forget how it happened and why. In other words, a lesson is learned.

There’s no success without failure:

Success is never achieved without some failures along the way.

Every successful man or woman will tell you that. It is inevitable, and it’s all part of life and learning. It’s how we gain that valuable commodity known as experience.

There’s no such thing as failure.

There are only outcomes we didn’t want.

And every time we try, we refine our skills and know-how until eventually, we get it right.

What we refer to as failure is nothing more than a form of feedback.

And of course, trying something and failing does not make you a failure. Failure is an outcome; it’s never a person.

Remember this:

Put simply, you cannot fail:

You only become a ‘failure’ when you give up and stop trying.

Encourage children to do their best:

If you have children, encourage them to do their best and accept that they will fail occasionally.

Tell them that it doesn’t matter, provided they make sure they learn any lessons that follow from any given undesirable outcome.

Make sure they understand that failing is a positive thing because they’ll learn valuable lessons, and they’ll get better and grow the more they try. Children should never fear failure.

Just encourage them not to give up and make sure they never stop believing in themselves.

They are as good as anyone:

The most important message to your child is that they’re as good as anyone, and if they try and keep trying, they will succeed.

And if, after trying hard, it doesn’t work out for them, for whatever reason, then at least they’ll know that they gave it their best shot, and they won’t spend their lives wondering what might have been.

Teach your children that failure is an inevitable part of life and learning, and it should never be feared.

If you want your children to succeed in life, then encourage them to fail.

Encourage them to have a go and to keep trying until they get to where they want to be.

And remember this, too:

Wherever you are on life’s journey, never be afraid to have a go.

Never forget, you’re as good as anyone, and people who try hard are better than most.

You’re as good as anyone” is a mantra you should encourage your kids to repeat to themselves daily, and you should repeat it too.

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How will your life be measured? Here’s what matters most

How will your life be measured? A philosophical question, perhaps, but an interesting one nevertheless.

Some time ago, I attended the funeral of someone whom I’d known quite well professionally but not at all socially. Someone I liked and respected, but I wouldn’t claim to have known them well overall. Nevertheless, funerals are a time to reflect on someone’s life. A time to consider the impact they’ve had on other people throughout their lives.

The funeral service was held at a large, traditional church in London, and it was crowded.

Listening to the eulogy and associated readings, I began to appreciate how much my late colleague had meant to so many people. It’s fair to say that she meant a lot to many people. The lives of so many people had clearly been blessed by her presence in them.

This experience made me think.

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So in life, what matters most?

As human beings, we’re all driven to achieve and leave our mark on life before we pass on.

However, we do tend to measure our impact on life in terms of careers and money. With those things, it’s fairly easy to keep score, wouldn’t you agree, dear reader?

Careers provide tangible evidence of achievement, or so it seems.

So, climbing the greasy pole and increasing our wealth tend to be the measures we use when we consider the idea of success. Nevertheless, as I sat there listening that day, I had to ask myself, are these things the most appropriate measure of the lives we lead?

Anything we do that only has a long-term payoff, we tend not to measure because there’s no immediate evidence of achievement. We can’t see the immediate impact of the small things we do, so we don’t believe they matter much.

However, I realized that day that they do matter. They matter a great deal.

It’s all in the little things we do:

A random act of kindness might not mean much to us, but to the recipient of our action, it could mean the world. It could have had a profound effect on that individual. And it might prove to be a life-changing experience for that person.

So, how will any of us be remembered?

When our lives have passed, how will they talk about us at our funerals?

People won’t talk about the size of our house or our car, but they will talk about how we made them feel. They won’t talk about the importance of our jobs, but they will mention how we helped them at a difficult time in their lives.

Perhaps they’ll talk about how we mentored them and how they’re a better person because of the impact we had on their lives. Maybe they’ll say they enjoyed our company, and they’ll talk about how they looked forward to seeing us whenever we were around. Perhaps they’ll just mention how we made them smile.

When you think about it, why would we want to be remembered in any other way?

Material possessions are meaningless:

Let’s face it, material possessions are meaningless. Equally successful careers are as much a reflection of good fortune as they are of anything we did to justify them.

That’s not the case when it comes to the impact we have on the lives of others.

The help we give and the kindness we show are all down to us and our actions day-to-day.

So, how many people we’ve helped seems to me like a much better measure of success than the size of the car we drive or the size of the house in which we live.

Real success in life comes down to the difference we make. How we’ve touched the lives of other people.

Certainly, that’s how I think we’ll be remembered by those who knew us, however much we’re focused on careers, money, and material possessions.

How great would it be to be remembered fondly and with respect by all who crossed our paths during our lives?

How will your life be measured?

I remembered my thoughts that day at the funeral when I stumbled upon this video of a presentation given by Clay Christensen at TEDxBoston.

It offers a great perspective on how your life will be measured.

I recommend you watch this video, as it’s well worth a little bit of your time.

And after you’ve watched it, I would suggest you reflect on this question:

How do you want to be remembered, dear reader?

For me, life’s measure should be in terms of how I’ve touched the lives of other people and not money, career, and the size of my house.

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The Unparalleled Importance of Friends in Our Lives

Were you a fan of that wonderful American television sitcom Friends? Wouldn’t it have been great to share their company and all the fun they had in Central Perk?

For me, that show highlighted the important role that our friends play in our lives.

It is a fact that we don’t get to choose our family, but the good news is that we do get to choose our friends.

Friendship is a relationship of equals. A good friendship has a power dynamic that’s always in equilibrium.

Friends are the people whose company we enjoy, people with whom we feel a real sense of connection and with whom we share common interests.

They are also people we’d be willing to go out of our way to help if we thought they were in trouble.

Family and loyalty go together, of course. You can’t have one without the other. And a relative can be a friend too, of course. As Ross and Monica were in Friends, for instance.

However, just because you’re related to someone doesn’t mean you’ll like them or that they’ll like you. Being related is no guarantee you’ll enjoy their company.

So, if you have a few close friends, you’re lucky indeed.

Friendship adds a sparkle to a life that could otherwise be quite dull.

Poem about friendship:

If today’s theme has caught your imagination, you might like to read this poem I wrote, Friendship.

Friendship Poem

Here are 10 thought-provoking quotes about friendship:

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The importance of making mistakes to achieving success

Today, I want to explore the importance of making mistakes, particularly concerning achieving success

As children, we’re often taught that making mistakes is a bad thing.

For instance, many parents will actively discourage their children from doing anything that might lead to them making what, from the parents’ standpoint, appears to be a serious mistake.

Would this be an experience with which you’re familiar, dear reader? Well, I am, let me tell you.

The importance of making mistakes to achieving success

The human experience:

However, I’ve learned that making mistakes is an essential element of the human experience as we progress down life’s highway.

There’s no road map for this journey; you learn as you go along and use what you’ve learned to improve your life as best you can.

As you journey down life’s highway, of course, you face an endless stream of choices at various times in your life.

A decision must be made each time you come to a fork in the road.

Daunting as this may be at times, you must always remember that every decision you make will be a valid one. It may not prove to be the right one, but that doesn’t make it any less valid based on what you knew at the time.

Allow me to explain.

Almost every decision you have to make will have been based on imperfect information. That’s the nature of life in the modern world.

So, all you can do is to use your judgement, weigh up the pros and cons, and act in good faith.

Inevitably, outcomes won’t always be favourable to you, but that doesn’t mean you’ve made a bad choice. It just means life has a lesson you must learn.

That’s the thing about mistakes: they’re just lessons that, over time, provide you with that valuable commodity known as experience.

And never, ever underestimate the importance of experience when it comes to achieving success.

Lessons learned won’t be forgotten:

What you learn from your mistakes is far more important to you than anything anyone can tell you in a classroom. You’ll never forget those things you’ve had to learn the hard way.

Life is not called the ‘School of Hard Knocks’ for nothing.

If you believe in yourself and your ability to use your judgement, and you accept that you’ll make mistakes occasionally, then you can cope with just about everything life throws at you.

Just make decisions to the best of your ability and knowledge, and then, if they don’t work out, just look for the lesson and learn it well.

Never let anyone tell you that making mistakes is a bad thing because it’s not.

Despite anything people will tell you to the contrary, there’s nothing wrong with making mistakes because that’s how you gain experience and that’s how you’ll grow in character.

Once is fine; twice is not:

That said, while making a mistake is perfectly reasonable, making the same mistake frequently is not.

Make a mistake once, and that’s fine; make it twice, and you’re starting to look a little bit careless. Make the same mistake three times, and people will start to have serious doubts about you.

An essential element of success:

No one ever mastered anything without making mistakes.

Whatever you choose to do in life, you start as a complete beginner like everyone else.

If you aim to be a success in your chosen profession, then you must get out there, have a go, make mistakes, learn from them, and keep refining your craft until you’re the best, or at least as good as the very best.

It can be done, and people do. You can too.

However, you must accept that you’ll make mistakes, and as long as you don’t make the same mistakes too often, you’ll be fine.

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3 Essential life lessons learned you should know

Many regular readers will be familiar with the essential life lessons learned that I’ve included here today. However, that won’t be true for everyone, I’m sure. It all comes down to experience, wouldn’t you agree?

Well, dear reader, please don’t feel that you must make every mistake yourself to learn. It’s acceptable to learn from others, too.

These essential life lessons learned can shape our perspectives and guide our decisions.

Learning directly from the mistakes of others is a perfectly valid strategy. You can also listen to and learn from lessons others have learned the hard way.

There’s no finer education than the University of Life, School of Hard Knocks.

So, allow me to offer you three essential life lessons learned that you’d do well to bear in mind.

Life's Lessons Learned
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1. Money can’t make you happy:

If you’re not happy without money, then having money won’t change how you feel about yourself.

We experience happiness not through the things we purchase but through our philosophy as well as our relationships with other people. Human beings are social animals, and we all need other people.

If you want to be happy, you must never lose sight of the most important people in your life, i.e. family and friends.

Spend time with them and enjoy their company, especially your children. Make the most of every minute you have with your loved ones.

Yes, of course, go out there and make some money. I’m not suggesting money doesn’t matter because it does. It’s up there with oxygen for sustaining a life worth living.

So you must manage your money carefully and invest some of it too.

Enjoy some of your money, of course, and buy nice things occasionally too. Life’s too short not to enjoy at least some of your hard-earned cash from time to time.

However, never focus on money and work to the exclusion of your family and friends. Without them, you have nothing. Money is important, but the people in your life are far more important.

You could have all the money in the world, but without your friends and loved ones, you’d have nothing at all.

2. Life is too short to do a job you hate:

You should never do anything for money alone.

Yes, you need an income, and yes, it’s nice to have plenty of money in your pocket. Let’s face it; we’d all like to have plenty of money, wouldn’t we? That’s human nature.

However, no amount of money will compensate you for the drudgery of doing a job you hate.

If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, you won’t do it well. And if you don’t do it well, eventually you’ll come unstuck. It will all end in tears. Now, is that really what you want, dear reader?

Remember this also: one day, you will die. You’re not going to live forever, nor would you want to.

What a shame it would be if on your deathbed you felt you’d completely wasted your life. Now, how bad would that be?

So find a job you enjoy.

That is important. You’ll spend one-third of your life at work, and that’s a long time to be doing something you hate.

Yes, there will be aspects of every job that you might find tedious or frustrating. However, it’s important to find something that you mostly enjoy.

And if you haven’t found that job you love yet? Then just keep looking until you find something you’d do for free if you couldn’t earn a living at it.

When it comes to a job, money shouldn’t be your primary focus. Find the right job; do it well; add real value, and the money will follow, all in good time.

3. Greed can lead to expensive mistakes:

There’s a classic telephone scam, which never fails to catch some people out.

The way it works is a salesman or woman working in a ‘boiler room’ somewhere offshore calls you with an offer for you to purchase an asset at a price which they’ll tell you will guarantee you an enormous profit.

It might be stocks and shares, or it might be plots of land in some faraway place, but the underlying message is always the same.

Essentially, they’ll tell you that next to no one knows about the availability of this asset just yet, but when they do, the price of the asset will go through the roof and just keep on heading in an upward direction.

They’ll tell you that whatever they have to offer is a steal and that you have the opportunity to get in on the ground floor and make an absolute killing, but you have to buy today or you’ll miss out.

The salespeople always sound friendly and very plausible, and they’ll make it all sound very professional. They’ll even take a little time to make you feel that, really, they’re trustworthy.

This scam plays on our greed and our gullibility.

We believe what we’re being told because we want to believe it. We just love the idea that we might get something for nothing, too.

However, if you part with your money when presented with such an offer, that‘s the last you’ll see of it.

The asset will be worthless or even non-existent. You’ll have been scammed.

Furthermore, if you’re foolish enough to buy, you’ll also be put on a ‘sucker list’ which means you’ll get inundated with similar calls from other high-pressure salespeople offering similar ‘deals‘.

There’s no easy money to be had anywhere. Take that from someone who’s spent a lot of time looking.

And anyway, think about it: if it was that good a deal, why would they be telling you?

If there was a killing to be made, they’d simply invest their own money and bag the ‘profit’ for themselves, surely?

Never allow yourself to fall for it.

And never, ever allow yourself to be bounced into buying anything just because they tell you that this deal is only available today.

In sales language, that’s known as a ‘call to action‘. It’s the oldest sales trick in the sales handbook.

The idea is to bounce you into making a purchasing decision before you have time to think it all through properly.

Don’t be a mug, and don’t be foolish enough to line other people’s pockets at your own expense. As the old saying goes:

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Absolutely guaranteed secret to success

Looking for the secret to success, dear reader? You’re not alone. So many people seek the secret, but very few find it.

Well, here’s Barbara Sher with some common-sense observations about life and success.

This is just part of a presentation she gave at the “Big, Cheap Weekend Workshop” in New York in July 2010. So it’s a decade ago now, but her observations are timeless, and they’re just as valid today as they were back then.

This video essentially is a ‘taster,’ but if you’re not familiar with Barbara’s work, then it might inspire you to check out her other videos on YouTube and indeed her public appearances, should she appear at a venue near you.

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The secret to success:

Now here are my thoughts on success.

I believe that personal responsibility is the key to success.

If you’re drifting and waiting in the hope that something will happen? Let me tell you, it won’t.

Well, not unless you’re lucky and just happen to be in the right place, at the right time, with the right thing someone needs.

For most of us, that’s never going to happen.

For almost everyone, we must make things happen ourselves.

Let me share a secret with you. The magic ingredient to achieving your dreams isn’t luck or some mystical force. It’s you.

It’s all about you grabbing the ball and running with it.

What do I mean?

I mean, you must embrace the power of personal responsibility.

You are the captain of your ship, sailing through the sea of life. You can steer your ship anywhere you want it to go.

Yes, there will be storms and occasionally calmer waters, but ultimately, you decide which way to steer your ship.

Personal responsibility is about acknowledging that your choices, big and small, are the compass guiding your journey to wherever you’re going.

You must decide what it is you want out of life. You must decide the lifestyle you’d prefer to live. And you must work out how to get it.

Once you know where you’re going, you must set yourself some goals.

And then you must pursue those goals with determination and a willingness to work hard to achieve them.

We all make choices in life, all the time, and we must accept the consequences of those choices.

In short, we must take responsibility for those choices, and if we pursue good choices, they should lead to the best outcomes for us.

If you embrace personal responsibility and stop making excuses, you will start to make progress towards the life you want.

If you become proactive rather than reactive, you will be knowingly steering the good ship “You” in the direction of your desired destination.

So, are you ready to take the helm?

Are you ready to grasp the personal power you have and own your journey to success?

It won’t always be easy, but at least it will be yours.

Trust me, the feeling of achieving something because you made it happen is amazing, and you won’t regret it.

So, embrace personal responsibility and achieve your full potential.

You can do it! It won’t be easy, but it can be done, and people do. So can you!

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Productivity Tips: How to Structure Your Day

Looking for some productivity tips, dear reader?

How much do you achieve each day?

What do you deliver in terms of results? After all, results do matter, don’t they?

We’re paid to deliver results, aren’t we?

To demonstrate that we’re adding value in our jobs or our businesses, then it’s all about productivity, surely?

Being busy is not the same as being productive. They’re very different things, aren’t they?

Most people know that, I’m sure, but they still struggle to improve their productivity.

Do you ever feel that you could be a more productive person, dear reader?

Do you ever wonder how you might improve your productivity?

Well, when you’re not sure what to do, you can always turn to a master. And when I’m seeking advice on mastery, one expert to whom I frequently turn is Brian Tracy.

Productivity Tips
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Productivity Tips:

In the embedded video, Brian Tracy offers some very useful tips for becoming more productive.

In my opinion, Brian Tracy always offers great advice, and in this short video, he offers some real pearls of wisdom, I think.

They’re all simple ideas, but they can increase your productivity if you apply them regularly.

This video is recommended viewing, so take a few minutes out of your busy schedule and learn from the master. I am confident that you will find it time well spent.

Here are some more productivity tips that will help you improve your productivity:

Don’t just make a to-do list; actively prioritize what needs to get done first.

Use methods like the Eisenhower Matrix (urgent/important) to categorize tasks and focus on high-impact activities.

Tackle the most important or urgent tasks when your energy levels are highest.

Allocate specific blocks of time in your day for particular tasks or types of work.

Treat these scheduled times like appointments you can’t miss.

This helps you focus on one thing at a time and prevents tasks from getting lost in the shuffle.

Use a calendar or scheduling app to visualize your day.

Identify your common distractions (social media, notifications, noisy environment) and take steps to minimize them.

This might involve turning off notifications, using website blockers, wearing noise-canceling headphones, or finding a quiet workspace.

Creating a dedicated and organized workspace can also significantly improve focus.

Overwhelmed by a big project?

Break it down into smaller, more manageable steps.

This makes the overall task feel less daunting and provides a sense of accomplishment as you complete each step.

Employ time management techniques like the Pomodoro Technique (work in focused bursts with short breaks) to maintain concentration and prevent burnout.

Take time at the end of each day or week to review what you accomplished, what challenges you faced, and what you could do differently next time.

Ask yourself, if you were paying for what you have produced, would you be happy with what you’re getting for your money?

This self-reflection allows you to identify patterns, understand what works best for you, and continuously improve your productivity strategies.

Be willing to experiment with different techniques and adapt them to your individual needs and workflow.

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Have the courage to step out of your comfort zone

If your aim is growth and achievement, then playing it safe is unlikely to be the right strategy for you. You must face your fears, dear reader. You must have the courage to step out of your comfort zone because we grow by taking on challenges throughout our lives.

Overcoming challenges is always at the heart of any achievement worthy of note.

A life worth living is a life where you feel fully engaged.

To feel energized and engaged with life, you must stretch yourself to the limits of your potential.

Needless to say, you can only find the limits of your potential if you step out of your comfort zone.

Step out of your comfort zone

Sadly, many people, if not most, never dare to step outside their comfort zone. They prefer to live where they feel safe.

Staying within your comfort zone is fine, of course, if that’s what you want, but you can’t call it living, can you? It’s existing, perhaps, but not living, I think.

You cannot grow from within the safety of your comfort zone. That’s simply a fact.

You’ll find that life begins to have a real buzz when you take the first step beyond your comfort zone. That’s what you might call living on the edge.

Inevitably, it’s scary, of course, but you do begin to feel energized. It’s where you’ll feel a real sense of exhilaration.

Yes, of course, it involves risk; that’s true. However, risk and reward go hand in hand. No risk; no reward.

Stepping outside your comfort zone doesn’t guarantee success, and of course, you might still fail. You’ll certainly experience some failures along the way, because everyone does.

Experiencing failures is an inevitable part of chasing success because success lies on the far side of failure. However, to get to second base and beyond, you must be prepared to take your foot off first base.

Successful people don’t always make the right decisions. However, they’re willing to challenge themselves, and they’re willing to persist long after everyone else has given up. They may fail, but they learn from failure, and they use what they’ve learned to work towards achieving their goals.

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You have enormous potential:

Dear reader, let me tell you something. You have enormous potential, and you can achieve anything if you want it badly enough and you’re prepared to work hard for it.

Certainly, you’re capable of achieving great things.

However, you must set challenging goals, and you must be prepared to step out of your comfort zone. If you can face that discomfort and keep on going, then you really can become the person you’re destined to be.

It’s easier to stay within your comfort zone, of course, and you’ll feel safe that way, but nothing beats the feeling of winning and achieving those challenging goals you’ve set yourself. A life of safety first can be dull.

If every obstacle must first be overcome before you start, then you’ll never achieve anything.

Playing it safe is a bigger risk than stepping beyond your comfort zone.

By playing it safe, you take the risk that you’ll never experience the satisfaction of real achievement. And it’s always better to try and fail than it is to spend your life wondering what might have been.

Stepping beyond your comfort zone means embracing uncertainty, of course. However, the quality of your life will depend on the amount of uncertainty you can bear.

So go on, live a little.

Step out of your comfort zone right now and take that tiger for a ride. You’ll be glad you did.

Building the courage to step out of your comfort zone:

To reinforce the message in today’s theme, you might find the embedded video from Brian Tracy inspiring.

In it, Brian offers some wise words on building the courage to break out of your comfort zone. It’s well worth your time, and I recommend it to you.

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Thank you for your support.

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9 tips for getting the most from your work

If you’re wondering about getting the most from your work, this post is for you.

So, do you feel valued by your employer, dear reader? Now think about that question for a second or two.

I’m sure you’re aware that companies are very good at circulating messages which include platitudes such as, “Our employees are our most important asset,” or  “We value our employees.”  I’m sure you’ll be familiar with such pronouncements.

However, you must ask yourself whether they mean it, surely?

Well, few do, if any, in my experience.

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Now let’s be fair:

To be fair, many employers think they mean it when such messages are circulated to the workforce.

Staff in the Human Resources department are probably well-intentioned when they issue such statements.

Nevertheless, the reality for the employee is almost always quite different, however right on and trendy an employer tries to be.

Rarely are employees valued by their employer. Usually they’re seen as replaceable or can be dispensed with as needs dictate.

What does it mean for you?

Most companies regard people as a commodity to be used when they’re useful and then discarded when they’re perceived to be no longer of use.

Not a comfortable thought, possibly, but true nevertheless.

So, what does this all mean for you?

Well, for a start, it means that you have to look after your own interests.

If you don’t look after your own interests, then I can assure you that no one else will.

If you think someone, somewhere, is thinking about your best interests, then, with the exception of your parents, that’s very unlikely at best.

It’s all down to you to get the most from your job, your career, and your life.

It’s your responsibility:

You must decide what you want; you must decide where and how you can add the greatest value; you must decide what’s the next logical move for you, in pursuit of your goals; and you must decide on the timing of when it’s appropriate to move on to the next challenge.

Occasionally, you might get lucky and a great opportunity will fall straight into your lap. However, that doesn’t happen often, if at all.

Remember that you are the captain of your own ship.

So you decide where it goes and you must steer it accordingly.

It would be a mistake to rely on others to plan your career, quite simply because they won’t, and it would be naïve to think otherwise.

So, here are 9 tips for getting the most from work:

Getting the most from your work:

1. Take a pragmatic view:

Now, reading this, you might think that I have a jaundiced view of companies and corporate life.

I don’t. This is simply a realistic and pragmatic view based on many years of experience.

I understand why companies do what they do from a commercial standpoint

Work is just doing stuff for other people in return for money.

If a company has stuff that needs doing, they are willing to pay good money to get it done.

However once that work’s been done, or is no longer required, employers see no reason to retain people. Why would they? After all, they’re in business to make money.

So be realistic and take a pragmatic view. That way you won’t be disappointed.

2. Recognise the psychological contract:

Once again, we must be fair. The company’s approach is no different from the one we would take as individuals.

If we need our house painting, we hire a painter and decorator. Our house gets painted, and when the job’s been done, we pay the painter for the work completed.

We don’t start worrying about the painter’s job satisfaction or career development. The psychological contract between us and the painter ends when the bill has been settled for the work completed. That’s the way it is. It’s that simple.

So why should we expect our employers to be any different?

Companies are not charities or job creation schemes. Commercial companies have to make a profit if they’re to grow and survive, and costs have an impact on profit, obviously.

The psychological contract we have with our employer is one where we do stuff for them and then we’re paid for our efforts at the end of each month.

We’re the hired help, and once we’ve been paid that’s where the psychological contract ends as far as our employer is concerned.

Your employer will not spend time worrying about your aspirations or your dreams. Once again, it would be naïve to think otherwise.

3. Accept commercial reality:

Commercial reality, whether we like it or not, is that all companies exist to make money for their owners. It’s that simple. Why would anyone start a company for any other reason?

So if you think that your loyalty will be appreciated by the average employer, I think you’re either mistaken or deluded.

Individual managers might value your presence in the team, of course, but the people at the top of the organisation have to be much tougher and businesslike in their approach, as they’re ultimately accountable for the performance of the business.

Employers will take everything you give and a bit more besides, but once you’re no longer required, they will be as ruthless as they have to be. If it’s their survival versus your career aspirations, there’s only one outcome, and it will have nothing to do with your aspirations.

If they weren’t able to be ruthless when necessary, then that could put the whole company and the jobs of everyone involved at risk. So there’s a good business reason for the way companies tend to operate.

Furthermore, ordinary people don’t spend their money unnecessarily, so why should we expect a company to be any different?

Occasionally, you’ll meet leaders of real stature and class who will treat you very well. However, they’re the exception rather than the rule.

Most senior executives are driven only by self-interest, in my experience. Once you’re no longer of use, they will be as ruthless as they have to be. That’s how the world works, so don’t expect it to be any different for you.

4. Don’t expect loyalty to be reciprocated:

The point I’m making here is that you must be ruthless too. You must look after your own interests, constantly.

It’s perfectly reasonable for you to be working with your own agenda in mind. Deliver the results for which you’re being paid, of course, but always with one eye on your own best interests.

In any job you should make sure that you know what you’re meant to be doing and what you’re meant to be delivering too.

What you’re delivering must add value. You should know what that value is, and you should be confident that it’s not something that can be done by a machine. If it is, then the chances are that one day it will be and you will be out of a job.

Never do anything out of a misplaced sense of loyalty because that loyalty is unlikely to be reciprocated. At work, you have to be very businesslike in everything you do.

For you, the name of the game is earning a living. If it’s not obvious to you what your contribution is meant to be, you should start to worry. And if you cannot explain what you’re meant to be doing in a couple of lines, then it’s time to move on.

If you don’t know what you’re meant to be doing, chances are that your boss is wondering too. And once your boss starts to question your role, there is a risk that it won’t be too long before your job is eliminated in a future cost-saving exercise.

5. Look after your own interests:

Remember this:

Life is what you make it.

As I said earlier, you’re the captain of your own ship.

You should be steering that ship in a direction that suits you and your ambitions. Steer the good ship ‘Me’ in the direction you wish to go and not in the direction someone else wants you to go.

You should be following your agenda, and within the framework of your plans.

If you think your employer has plans for you, you’re fooling yourself.

You will only figure in your employer’s plans for as long as it makes good business sense for them to include you in those plans.

If they can’t see how you’ll add value to their plans, then a parting of the ways might not be far away.

6. Take every opportunity to gain experience:

You may make mistakes occasionally, and you may do things for employers that, for whatever reason, come back to bite you. If you do, don’t worry. Just learn any lessons from the experience and move on.

Lessons learned are far more valuable to you than anything someone else can tell you. The commodity, based on life’s lessons, is known as experience, and experience gained is a valuable commodity.

Take every opportunity to broaden your experience and grow.

Take on every challenge that comes your way. However daunting a challenge might seem, it will be a learning opportunity through which you’ll grow. View such opportunities positively and don’t be afraid to put yourself forward. You can do it and you’ll be a better person for it.

The message here:

Work harder on yourself than you do on your job

The more experience and know-how you have to offer, the more employable you’ll be and the greater will be your financial rewards.

7. Have realistic expectations:

Never expect loyalty from your employer, and you won’t be disappointed.

You’re not indispensable, and neither is anyone else. If you were to die tomorrow, you’d be replaced in a heartbeat, and the company would get along fine without you.

If you weren’t around, someone else would be hired quickly, and the business would move on. And in all probability, you’ll soon be forgotten.

The chances are that someone else will take the credit for any significant contribution you’ve made, but you’ll probably take the blame for everything wrong, including things in which you had no involvement at all.

That’s life, unfortunately.

8. Work to your own agenda:

If you make sure you look after your own interests, then your achievements will be all yours and you’ll be on the road to success.

You have to carve out the success you want; no one else will do it for you.

Add real value to your employer for as long as you can or for as long as it makes sense within your own plans for you to do so, and then it’s time to move on to the next challenge.

Don’t get overly sentimental; you’ve got to be as ruthless with your employer as they would be with you. It’s perfectly reasonable to work to your own agenda, and that’s exactly what successful people do.

9. Keep reading; keep learning:

Never underestimate the value of reading and continual learning.

The more you read, the more you’ll learn, and the more you learn the greater will be your value.

Read one good book related to your work or personal development each week, and over a yea,r that’s the equivalent of a PhD‘s worth of knowledge gained.

Increase your knowledge by that amount every year, and you’ll be light years ahead of your colleagues.

Increase your knowledge and skills, and you’ll increase your ability to add value. Add more value and you’ll earn more. And what’s not to like about that?

So, make sure you allocate at least 30 minutes per day for your reading, and more time if possible.

Conclusion:

Appreciate the opportunity an employer gives you. Be grateful you have a job and an income.

However, never be overly sentimental, nor show misplaced loyalty to an employer. An employer must be businesslike and so must you.

Add value where you can, but look after your own interests, and when it makes sense to do so, move on.

Sensible people will always look after their own interests. It’s perfectly reasonable to have an agenda of your own.

Getting the most from your work is all about adding value, gaining experience, broadening your skills, and moving on to the next challenge when it’s appropriate to do so. Above all, enjoy what you do. Life’s too short to be spending a third of it doing something that doesn’t leave you fulfilled.

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Building personal branding for success

Personal branding says something about you. And personal branding for success is something that you should take seriously if your aim is to be successful.

How you present yourself to the world is being judged all the time, and people will draw conclusions about you based simply on their perception of you and how you look.

That may not seem fair, but in my experience, it’s almost always true. And reputations can often be built largely based on other people’s perception of you.

So, is personal branding something that matters to you, dear reader?

In your opinion, does it matter what you look like, how you dress, how you speak, or what people see in your digital footprint on social media and elsewhere? Certainly, it should do.

What do you think? Does your reputation matter to you?

Perhaps you believe that the only thing that matters is the quality of the work that you do?

If that’s true, then you may not see the need to worry about your personal branding.

However, I can assure you, you really are being judged all of the time, whether you like it or not.

The importance of personal branding:

Think about it for one moment. Now, how often have you walked into an open-plan office area looking for a manager you’ve not met, and yet you have no trouble spotting who he or she is immediately?

You just can’t miss them, can you? There’s just something about them that says, ‘I am the manager!‘ Well, that’s personal branding.

It’s the same thing with social media.

How you conduct yourself within your digital footprint will speak volumes about you, and it will have an impact on how you’re perceived by others.

A silly remark on social media about other people or the latest news can prove very costly and may have implications in future years because it could suggest something about your judgement, or lack of it.

Jobs have been lost and people have been forced to resign over ill-judged comments made on social media, often many years before.

So you have to ask yourself, do I want to be successful in my chosen field?

If you do, then you must ensure that your personal branding is consistent with your ambition. To be the one, you must look like the one in every respect.

You must also promote yourself in the right way at every opportunity.

Self-promotion is important because it’s all about selling yourself and making sure you’re perceived by the world in the way you’d prefer to be perceived.

If you don’t sell yourself and create the right image for yourself, then no one else is going to do it for you, that’s for sure. Constantly working on your personal branding must be part of your strategy for achieving success.

The good news is that with WordPress, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media channels, it’s never been easier to promote yourself, create the right image, build relationships, and tell the world what it is you have to offer.

So the obvious question now is, where do you start on building a personal brand?

Building a personal brand:

In the video below, recorded at TEDxCMU 2011, Jacob Cass presents some interesting and useful ideas as to how you can go about building your personal brand.

This video will provide you with some useful tips and it’s well worth watching.

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If so, then please share it on social media with your friends. When you share, everyone wins.

So please share it now. If you do, I’ll be forever grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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