5 funniest jokes about law and order

Dear reader, are you in need of a good laugh? Well, here are 5 of the funniest jokes about law and order to brighten your day. They all made me smile, so I hope you’ll enjoy them too.

They say laughter is the best medicine and I agree. When you’re feeling down and in need of cheering up, few things have a greater impact than a good joke.

So relax, take a few minutes and enjoy them all. And please feel free to pass them on.

Funniest jokes about law and order:

1. Rookie cop:

Jake is a rookie cop and he’s on his first day in a patrol car.

His partner is Vinny, an experienced cop who’s been around the block a few times and he knows the score.

Nothing much happens for the first hour of their shift but then suddenly they get a call on the radio asking them to disperse a group of people who’ve been reported as loitering on Main Street.

“Let me deal with this one Vinny”, says Jake, all pumped up and ready to go.

“OK buddy, go for it!” Vinny responds.

As their patrol car approaches Main Street they can see a small crowd on the corner.

So Jake jumps out of the patrol car, approaches the small crowd and says, “Okay people can we move along now, please? Come on now, as quickly as you can. Nothing to see here. Surely you’ve all got homes to go to?”

The crowd ignores Jake’s instruction, so he feels compelled to repeat his command, “Come on now move along, please. There’s nothing to see here. Failure to comply with a police officer’s instruction is a misdemeanour and I will have to book you if you don’t move along.”

Well, his comment about being booked seems to do the trick because people then start to drift away in different directions.

His confidence now boosted by his apparent success, Jake gets back into the patrol car.

Jake smiles at Vinny and says, “Not a bad start don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I guess so”, says Vinny, “pity it was Bus Stop though.”

2. Don’t mess with old people:

Fred is an older man living on his own when he spots burglars breaking into the shed in his garden one night.

Naturally, he’s left feeling a little insecure by this turn of events, so he calls 911.

Well, the 911 operator advises Fred that there are no patrol cars available in his area to help him right now.

So Fred hangs up the phone and waits for a few minutes before he calls 911 again.

“I called you a few minutes ago to report burglars in my garden shed. Well you can cancel my request for help now because I’ve just shot them all”, says Fred.

Within minutes there are three patrol cars outside Fred’s house with sirens wailing and blue lights flashing.

One of the police officers marches up the drive and says to Fred, “I thought you said you’d shot them all?”

“And I thought you said that there were no patrol cars available,” says Fred.

3. Driving Lesson:

Bill is giving his teenage son, Jack, a driving lesson.

Suddenly, Jack makes a right turn on a red light.

“Oh, no!” shouts Bill. “I think you’ve just made an illegal turn.”

“Take a chill pill, Dad” Jack responds, “The police car right behind us has just done the same thing.”

4. Speeding Driver:

A police officer, Jim Murphy stops a speeding car.

As Officer Murphy approaches the vehicle, it’s obvious to him that the driver is extremely agitated. So, naturally, Officer Murphy is cautious.

“Good afternoon, sir,” said the police officer. “Do you know why I’ve stopped you?”

“Yes, officer,” the driver responds. “I was speeding. But you’ve got to understand, I’m in a life-or-death situation.”

“Really?” Officer Murphy responds, quizzically. “And why is that, sir?”

“Officer,” the man continues, “there’s a naked woman waiting for me at my house.”

“Well, I don’t see how that’s a matter of life or death, sir,” says Officer Murphy in response.

“It is,” the driver continues, “because if I don’t get home before my wife does, I’m a dead man!”

5. Silence in court:

Jim is in the dock facing a double murder charge.

“You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner”, says the Judge.

Hearing this charge, a man in the public gallery screams, “You son of a bitch.”

Ignoring this interruption the Judge continues, “You are also charged with beating your wife’s lover to death with a spanner.”

Again the man in the public gallery screams, “You son of a bitch.”

Irritated by this second interruption, the Judge turns her attention to the gallery and says, “Sir I understand your outrage at what are terrible crimes but I will not tolerate another such outburst in this courtroom. Interrupt again and you will be held in contempt of court.”

“I’m sorry your honour”, said the man, “but I’ve lived next door to this son of a bitch for 12 years and every time I’ve asked to borrow a spanner he told me he didn’t have one.”

Please share the fun:

I hope you found these the funniest jokes about law and order dear reader.

However, perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh. If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today then please share these jokes with all your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

So go on, please do it now. I will be ever so grateful.

Thank you for your support, dear reader.

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