19 funny jokes to tell your friends and make them smile

Funny jokes to tell your friendsToday I thought you might appreciate some funny jokes to tell your friends.

If you can entertain people and tell a joke or two then you’ll always have friends. We all love to laugh, and people who are amusing are immediately likeable. So, if you want to be likeable, always have a few jokes in your back pocket.

If you want to make your friends smile, here are 19 funny jokes to tell your friends. Enjoy them all.

Funny jokes to tell your friends:

  1. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was too tired.
  2. Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
  3. What kind of tree will fit into your hand? A palm tree.
  4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
  5. How do you kill a circus clown? You go for the juggler.
  6. Where do cows go on a Saturday night? To the moo-vies.
  7. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He just pasta way.
  8. I used to work in a shoe recycling factory but it was sole destroying.
  9. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  10. What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m about to change.
  11. I married Miss Right. It was only later that I realized her first name was Always.
  12. My wife told me that I must stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
  13. What is grammar? It’s the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.
  14. Why did the girl get hit by a bike every day? Because she was stuck in a vicious cycle.
  15. A Hot Dog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “I’m sorry but we don’t serve food here.”
  16. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
  17. A thief broke into my house the other night searching for money. He woke me up, so I thought I might as well help him search for it, even though I wasn’t optimistic we’d find anything.
  18. A cop pulls a guy over and says, “Your eyes are awfully red, have you been drinking?” To which the guy responds, “Well, your eyes are awfully glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”
  19. WIFE: Pack your bags, I’ve won the lottery. HUSBAND: Oh, wow! Are we going on holiday? WIFE: No! You’re leaving! I’ve won the lottery!

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, were these jokes as good as you’d hoped? Were they worth a few minutes of your time?

I hope so. If they did make you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, just click on the links below.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.

3 Good jokes guaranteed to make you smile

Good JokesIf you’re looking for some good jokes then look no further dear reader. I have three very good jokes for you today.

They all made me laugh out loud and I’m confident they’ll amuse you too.

So enjoy them all now.

Some very good jokes:

1. The duck hunter:

Dave was a keen duck hunter and he’d been looking to buy a new bird dog for quite a while.

Dave’s search ended when he found an amazing dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.

Naturally, Dave was pleased with his discovery but he was sure that his friends wouldn’t believe he’d found a dog that could walk on water.

So he decided to break the news to his friend Paul, a pessimist who was rarely impressed by anything.

Hoping for once he might actually impress Paul, Dave invited him on a hunting trip to experience the dog first hand.

However, Dave didn’t mention the dog’s special talent, as he wanted Paul to see it for himself.

Arriving in the woods, the two men and the dog found a suitable spot by the lake and waited for some ducks to appear. And it wasn’t long before some ducks flew overhead.

Both men fired their shotguns and a duck fell from the sky and landed on the lake.

The dog responded by walking across the water, without sinking, and retrieving the duck. Apart from the soles of its feet, the dog didn’t get wet at all.

This continued throughout the day.

Each time a duck fell, the dog retrieved it by walking across the water, without getting wet.

Determined to remain unimpressed, Paul observed everything but he didn’t say a word.

On the drive home, Dave couldn’t resist it any longer and he said to Paul, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog Paul?

Yes, I did”, said Paul. “He can’t swim.”

2. Grizzly bears on the Appalachian Trail:

A tourist guide was explaining the dangers of grizzly bears to hikers about to walk the Appalachian Trail from Springer Mountain, Georgia.

The guide warned, “You should realise that most encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet to avoid disturbing wildlife, unexpectedly stumble upon bears.

He had the hikers’ full attention now.

Be aware that surprising a grizzly bear can have disastrous consequences for you”, the guide continued. “To avoid this we recommend that hikers wear tiny bells on their clothing to provide bears with an early warning of your presence. You should, of course, exercise great caution should you spot the tell-tale signs of bears in the area, particularly if you see bear droppings.”

“And how do we identify bear droppings from those of other wildlife?” asked one of the hikers.

“Easy”, explained the guide. “They’re the ones with all the tiny bells in them!”

3. The talking monkey:

Pete was walking past a pet shop when he saw a talking monkey being advertised for sale.

Intrigued, Pete went inside to see if this monkey was all the owners claimed it to be. It was and Pete was so impressed, particularly with the monkey’s extensive vocabulary and mastery of English, he bought the erudite primate immediately.

Then that very evening, Pete took his new pet to his local bar and he bet everyone twenty dollars that his monkey could recite the Gettysburg Address.

Ten people immediately accepted the challenge but, despite much prompting from Pete, the monkey failed to say a word.

Pete was extremely disappointed but he had no choice but to pay up.

However, when he got home, the monkey was talking freely once again.

So the next evening, Pete decided he would return to the bar and try again.

This time he bet everyone thirty dollars that his monkey could recite the Gettysburg Address.

Given the experience of the previous evening, most of the patrons in the bar were more than willing to accept Pete’s bet.

Sadly for Pete, his monkey wouldn’t say a word and once again it proved to be an expensive evening.

When he got home with the monkey, Pete was annoyed with his pet and he said, “I’ve had it with you, tomorrow you’re going back to the pet shop and I’m claiming a refund.

Calm down”, the monkey responded. “Just think about the odds we’ll be able to get in the bar tomorrow evening.

Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, were these good jokes as good as you’d hoped? Were they worth a few minutes of your time?

I hope so. If they did make you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.

When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then just click on the links below.

Other articles guaranteed to amuse you:

© Mann Island Media Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.