5 funny short story jokes guaranteed to raise a laugh

Here are 5 funny short story jokes that I’m confident will raise a laugh.

They all made me smile, so I hope you enjoy them too.

So take a few moments to relax, smile and then feel free to pass them on.

Funny short story jokes:

1. Speed Cop:

Jim’s a police officer in Morristown, New Jersey.

One day he’s sitting in his squad car on Main Street when a car screams past him doing at least 100 miles an hour.

With blue lights flashing and siren wailing, Jim chases after the car and pulls it over.

Jim approaches the car and says to the young driver, “Sir, please step out of the car for me.”

“But officer”, said the young man, “I can explain.”

“Just be quiet!” snapped Jim, “Driving at dangerous speeds on Main Street is a felony. You’ll be cooling your heels in jail until the police chief gets back and decides what to do with you.”

“But officer”, the young man responded, “if you’d just let me explain.”

Once again Jim snapped at him, “Be quiet! You’re going to jail.”

A few hours later Jim is checking on his prisoner in the holding cell at the station and the guy is looking is little glum, to say the least. At this point, Jim’s feeling a bit sorry for him.

“Hey buddy”, says Jim, “don’t worry. Lucky for you the police chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it”, said the young driver, “I’m the groom.”

2. Gambling Habit:

An anxious father met with his son’s school principal, as he was concerned about his son’s obsession with gambling.

“All he ever wants to do is bet,” the father exclaimed to the principal. “He’ll bet on anything. Can you help me?”

The principal considered his question for a moment and then he said, “I’ll see what I can do.”

A week later, the father met with the principal again to discuss progress.

“I think I’ve cured him of his gambling habit,” the principal told the father.

Encouraged by this comment, the father asked, “How did you manage that?”

Well, the other day, I noticed him looking at my beard and he said, “Sir, I’ll bet you $10 that’s a false beard.”

“And what happened then?” the father asked.

“Simple, I took the bet, allowed him to tug my beard to prove it was real and then I made him pay me the $10.” The principal responded. “He won’t do that again. He’ll have learned his lesson.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” said the father, “the other day he bet me $50 that he’d tug at your beard with your permission before the end of the week.”

3. Sunday Service:

One Sunday morning, Pastor Michael told his congregation that the church needed money to repair the church roof and asked the people to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.

By way of encouragement, he said that whoever gave the most money would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed around, Pastor Michael glanced down, and he noticed that someone had placed a bundle of $100 bills in the offering, all bound with an elastic band.

Naturally, he was excited, and he shared his joy with his congregation.

“I’d like to thank whoever placed this bundle in the offering personally,” said Pastor Michael. “There must be $1,000 here. Please make yourself known.”

At this point, a small, elderly lady at the back of the church stood up and shyly raised her hand.

“Mam,” said Pastor Michael, “we’re all so grateful to you. Please come down to the front.”

The little old lady slowly made her way to the front of the congregation and Pastor Michael took her by the hand.

Naturally, he told her how wonderful it was that she had given so much and then in thanks he said, “By way of a reward, you now get to choose three hymns.”

Her eyes began to sparkle as she reflected momentarily and gazed around the congregation.

After a few moments of contemplation, she looked at Pastor Michael and then pointed to the three most handsome men in the church and said, “Right, I’ll take him and him and him.”

4. Divine justice:

Father Jeremy was a parish priest who was obsessed with playing golf.

He would be at a country club playing golf at every opportunity he got. It was a passion for him.

One summer Sunday the weather was absolutely glorious and he realised it was such a perfect day to play golf. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the temperature was really very pleasant.

“Days are rarely better than this for playing golf”, Father Jeremy thought to himself.

This left him with a dilemma. For him Sunday was a working day of course but perhaps he could report in sick and then play golf at the country club in the next town?

Well, his passion for golf got the better of him and he phoned the curate to tell him he was sick and would not be able to take mass that day.

He then packed his clubs into his car and drove two hours to a country club where he was confident he would not be recognized.

By mid-morning Father Jeremy was standing at the first tee ready to play 18 holes.

Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways and the angels are his eyes and ears. And as Father Jeremy was ready to tee off one angel was watching him with concern.

The angel then went to God and said, “Look at that parish priest. He should be preaching to his congregation today, not playing golf.”

God frowned at the angel and agreed that this was not what he’d expect from a parish priest on a Sunday.

“Leave it to me,” said God.

At this point, Father Jeremy teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball and it glided effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup 250 yards away. It was a perfect hole-in-one.

Never before had Father Jeremy achieved such golfing perfection, so naturally, he was both amazed and very excited.

The angel looked on from above and he was shocked. He turned to God and said, “Lord, I’m sorry but I thought you said you were going to punish him.“

“I have”, said God.

“How?” the angel responded.

God smiled and said, “Think about it. Who can he possibly tell about this now?“

5. The helicopter ride:

Dan and his wife Mary went to the state fair every year.

And every year Dan would say to Mary, “You know Mary, I would love to go for a ride in the helicopter.“

Mary’s response was always the same.

“I know that Dan but the helicopter ride costs $50, And let’s face it, $50 is $50.” Mary would say.

This went on for many years and eventually, they were at the fair one year and Dan said to Mary, “You know Mary, I’m 87 now. If I don’t ride the helicopter this year, I may not get another chance. I ain’t got much time left.“

Well, Mary had known hard times so she could never be frivolous with money. Once again her response was the same, “Dan, you know the helicopter costs $50 and $50 is $50.“

Well as they were talking, the helicopter pilot overheard their conversation.

“Hey, listen folks”, he said, “I’ll offer you a deal. I’ll take you both for a ride in the helicopter and if you can both stay completely quiet for the entire ride then you can have it for free. However, you must not say a word. If you do say anything you must pay the $50.”

Well, this sounded like a great deal to Dan and Mary, so naturally, they agreed and up they went in the helicopter.

In an attempt to get them to say something, the pilot performed every fancy trick and move he knew but they didn’t say a word.

To up the ante, the pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still, there wasn’t so much as one word spoken.

Finally, they landed and the pilot turned to Dan and said, “Wow! I’ve got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn’t. I’m really impressed!“

“Well to be honest”, said Dan, “I almost said something when Mary fell out but, you know, $50 is $50!“

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