4 jokes that will make anyone laugh

If you’re searching for humor and jokes to tell, dear reader, then this is the right place. There are some great jokes here but the question is, could one of these be the joke that will make anyone laugh? You tell me!

The joke that will make anyone laugh?

1. The Billionaire and his young bride:

Jed was an octogenarian, Texan billionaire who’d made his fortune in the oil industry.

Now, being a very wealthy man, he’d always attracted interest from women of every age.

One day, when he was judging a local beauty pageant he met the very beautiful and youthful Lucinda.

Well, Jed and Lucinda hit it off immediately and within weeks they were married.

On his wedding night, Jed explained to Lucinda that his only wish when he died was for all his wealth to be buried with him.

Naturally, Lucinda agreed to his wish without question.

Sadly after a couple of months of blissful married life with Lucinda, Jed passed away suddenly of a heart attack.

At the funeral, a tearful Lucinda walked up to the casket with an envelope in her hand. She then solemnly placed the envelope in the casket with her late husband.

As the priest looked on, he said to her, “What’s in the envelope, my child?”

“It was my husband’s final wish,” Lucinda responds. “He said he wanted to be buried with all his wealth.”

Looking slightly confused, the priest said, “My dear, your husband was a billionaire, so how could all his wealth be in an envelope?”

“Well,” Lucinda replied, “there was so much money in his bank account that I knew it wouldn’t all go in the casket. So, I transferred it all to my account and I’ve written him a check.”

2. Bill and the rabbit:

Bill was driving along the road one night when he suddenly saw a rabbit in his headlights.

He tried to swerve to miss this cute, long-eared mammal but, as luck would have it, the rabbit moved in the same direction and Bill ran over it.

Being both sensitive and an animal lover, Bill was very upset by this accident and he pulled over to see if there was anything he could do.

He picked the rabbit up but to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. Bill felt so distressed by this experience that he started weeping, helplessly.

At this moment, a lady came by in her car and she could see that Bill was upset.

She pulled over and got out of her car.

“Hello, I’m Jane,” she said. “What’s troubling you?”

Bill explained what had happened, as he continued to sob uncontrollably.

Jane smiled and said, “Don’t worry. I’ve got something that will help.”

She went back to her car and returned with a spray can.

She then sprayed the rabbit all over with the contents of the can and within minutes the rabbit woke up and jumped from Bill’s arms and hopped off into an adjacent field, waving to them as it went.

Bill was ever so grateful and he couldn’t thank Jane enough.

“Wow,” he said. “What was in that can?”

Jane handed him the can and on the label it said, HAIR SPRAY. RESTORES LIFE IN DEAD HAIR

3. The smartest person in the room:

An art teacher, a math teacher and a science teacher are all arguing about which one of them is the smartest.

“That’s got to be me,” says the art teacher.

With that he brings out an exact copy of the Mona Lisa he’d painted.

“This took me a month to paint and the detail is so exact that it proves I’m the smartest,” the art teacher continues.

“Well, that’s nothing,” the math teacher responds.

She then brings out a large notebook in which she’d solved fifty, third-order differential equations by hand.

“These are incredibly complex equations and most people would have to use a computer to solve them,” says the math teacher. “I solved them all by hand in a month and this proves I’m the smartest.”

“Don’t make me laugh,” the science teacher responds.

She then brings out a robot she’s built.

“This robot can clean the house, wash the dishes, walk the dog and wash the car,” she says. “It took me just one month to build this bad boy, so please, a little respect here.“

Listening to their conversation is the gym teacher who begins to laugh, uncontrollably.

“You’re all idiots,” he says. “I think you’ll find I’m the smartest one here.”

“Really?” says the science teacher. “And how did you reach that conclusion?”

“Because I didn’t have to do any of that stuff and yet I get paid the same as you,” the gym teacher responds with a smile.

4. The sad passing of Forest Gump:

Sadly, Forest Gump passed away and he’s standing in front of St Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Welcome to Heaven, Forest,” says St Peter. “I’ve heard a lot about you.“

They exchange a few pleasantries and then St Peter says, “Look, Forrest, I’m sorry to have to tell you this but there have been a lot of deaths this year and Heaven is getting a bit crowded now. So we have a new system that requires me to give everyone an entrance examination before they can be admitted through the Pearly Gates.“

“Really?” says Forest. “I hope it’s not too hard. My momma used to say, ‘Life is like a final exam. It’s hard.’ So I thought I’d already had the test.”

“Yes, Forest, I know,” says St Peter. “However this test is just three questions. And the first question is which two days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?“

“Well, sir,” Forest responds, “That’s easy, it’s today and tomorrow.“

Looking slightly surprised, St Peter says, “Well, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind but you do have a fair point, so I’ll give you credit for that answer.”

Forest smiled and said, “So what’s the next one?”

“This one’s more of a challenge,” says St Peter. “How many seconds are there in a year?”

“That’s easy too,” says Forest. “There are twelve seconds in a year.”

“Twelve?” exclaims St Peter, looking surprised and more than a little confused. “How did you work that out?”

“Well there’s January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2^nd all the way through to December 2^nd” says Forest. “That’s twelve.”

“Oh, I see what you mean,” says St Peter. “You do have a point, so I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too.“

“So, what’s the third question?” asks Forest.

“My third question” St Peter responds. “What’s God’s first name?”

“What’s God’s first name?” Forest reacts, as he thinks momentarily. “It’s Andy.“

“Andy?” exclaims said St Peter, in complete shock. “How did you work that out?“

“Well sir, I learned it in church. It was mentioned in the hymns we used to sing,” says Forest. With that he began to sing, “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own loving son.“

St Peter smiles benevolently, opens the gates to Heaven and then shouts, “Run, Forest, Run!“

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So were any of these the joke that will make anyone laugh, dear reader? I hope so or, if not, I hope they raised at least a smile or two from you.

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So go on, please share this post now. If you could do that for me, I’d be ever so grateful and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

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