The 30 best bitchy comments that’ll make you smile

Ladies, do you ever find yourself in need of some bitchy comments?

Gentlemen, do you need a quiver full of little arrows to pierce even the hardest heart?

Having the right comment to respond on those occasions when you need to put someone firmly in their place?

For those occasions when you need to send out a message that says, You mess with me at your peril.

Well, here are 30 great bitchy comments, all of which made me smile.

Bitchy Comments:

1. You’re wearing that dress for a bet, surely?
2. She’s not a drinker, but she certainly likes a whine.
3. I don’t need your drama. Go bother someone else.
4. Hey, Balls just called. They want you to grow a pair.
5. I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you right now.
6. I’m not responsible for what my face does when you talk.
7. There are two things I dislike about you, girl. Your face!
8. Yes, I am crazy, and you’d be unwise to mess with crazy.
9. Being opinionated is not the same as being informed, dear.
10. OMG! She’s really been hit with the ugly stick, hasn’t she?
11. Nice dress! Where did you buy it, Dick’s Sporting Goods?
12. I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you’re the full cactus.
13. I try to see the best in people, but you certainly make it hard.
14. You’re upset with me? So what! I don’t exist just to please you.
15. I may have multiple personalities, but none of them like you.
16. Oh, there’s a new man in your life. Does he still have his own hair?
17. If you want to lose weight quickly, you could always shave your legs.
18. What you think of me can’t be half as bad as my opinion of you.
19. I’d say something complimentary about you, but I’m not that dishonest.
20. I don’t hate you, but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
21. You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think.
22. I’m as nice as the next girl until life forces me to unleash the Bitch.
23. You remind me of a penny. Two-faced and not worth much.
24. I’d beat you with a hammer, but you’re not worth the jail time.
25. You’re such a fake. I’m guessing you were made in China.
26. I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your comprehension.
27. Feel free to judge me when you’re perfect. Oh, that would be never then.
28. No, I didn’t intend to offend you. That was just a bonus for which I’m grateful.
29. Don’t hate me because I’m attractive. Hate me because my bxxbs are bigger than yours.
30. Leave sarcasm to the professionals, sweetie. You’ll get hurt if you play with fire.

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