21 Quotes by Larry David that’ll make you think

10/04/2024 by

If you were a fan of the US sitcom Seinfeld then you will be familiar with the name Larry David. He was the creator of that series along with Jerry Seinfeld and for me, it’s one the finest sitcoms of all time.

Lawrence Gene David, to give Larry David his full name, was born in Brooklyn, New York. He is a comedian, writer, actor, director, and television producer.

Larry David was Seinfeld’s head writer and executive producer from 1989 to 1997. He subsequently gained further recognition for the sitcom series Curb Your Enthusiasm, which he also created, and he stars as a semi-fictionalized version of himself.

Here are 21 quotes by Larry David which might make you think and some might even make you smile. All are well worth a few minutes of your time.

Quotes by Larry David (1-10):

  1. Golf and dating don’t mix.
  2. You write about what you know.
  3. You know, I’m really not that bright.
  4. Women love a self-confident bald man.
  5. I have reservations about everything I do.
  6. My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.
  7. I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.
  8. If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny.
  9. Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
  10. I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about half an inch wide.

Quotes by Larry David (11-21):

  1. I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.
  2. It’s always good to take something that’s happened in your life and make something of it comedically.
  3. I think that what people imagine they’re going through is much worse than what they are going through.
  4. Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man? There’s your diamond in the rough.
  5. I wanted to make a living but I really wasn’t interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
  6. When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
  7. I’m not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
  8. Whenever something good happens to me, it’s usually followed by something terrible.
  9. I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
  10. I think we’re all good and bad, but good’s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.
  11. I’m really only happy when I’m on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That’s what I’m all about – people and laughter.

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21 thought-provoking quotes by Alan Turing

09/26/2024 by

Today I thought exploring some quotes by Alan Turing would be interesting.

Alan Mathison Turing is best known as an English computer scientist, mathematician, cryptanalyst, and philosopher for readers unfamiliar with him.

He is widely considered the father of theoretical computer science and artificial intelligence. Certainly, in Britain.

Alan Turing was one of the greatest minds in British post-war history. He devised several techniques for speeding the breaking of German ciphers and he played a crucial role in cracking intercepted coded messages that enabled the Allies to defeat the Axis powers in many crucial engagements.

Though he died relatively young, he left an impressive legacy, and his enormous influence continues to this day.

In a 2019 BBC series, following a vote by the audience, he was named the greatest person of the 20th century.

So, he was a widely respected individual and, for that reason, it’s worth listening to some of the things he had to say.

Here are 21 quotes by Alun Turing that I think are thought-provoking. Take a minute or two to reflect on them all.

And please feel free to pass them on.

Quotes by Alan Turing (1-10):

  1. Machines take me by surprise with great frequency.
  2. Codes are a puzzle. A game, just like any other game.
  3. My little computer said such a funny thing this morning.
  4. Those who can imagine anything can create the impossible.
  5. Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition.
  6. If a machine is expected to be infallible, it cannot also be intelligent.
  7. Programming is a skill best acquired by practice and example rather than from books.
  8. I have such a stressful job that the only way I can get it out of my mind is by running hard.
  9. We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done.
  10. We may hope that machines will eventually compete with men in all purely intellectual fields.

Quotes by Alan Turing (11-21):

  1. Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result.
  2. Sometimes it is the people no one can imagine anything of who do the things no one can imagine.
  3. A computer would deserve to be called intelligent if it could deceive a human into believing that it was human.
  4. A man provided with paper, pencil, and rubber, and subject to strict discipline is in effect a universal machine.
  5. I want a permanent relationship, and I might feel inclined to reject anything which of its nature could not be permanent.
  6. Mathematical reasoning may be regarded rather schematically as the exercise of a combination of two facilities, which we may call intuition and ingenuity.
  7. Do you know why people like violence? It is because it feels good. Humans find violence deeply satisfying. But remove the satisfaction, and the act becomes hollow.
  8. The idea behind digital computers may be explained by saying that these machines are intended to carry out any operations which could be done by a human computer.
  9. No, I’m not interested in developing a powerful brain. All I’m after is just a mediocre brain, something like the President of the American Telephone and Telegraph Company.
  10. I believe that at the end of the century the use of words and general educated opinion will have altered so much that one will be able to speak of machines thinking without expecting to be contradicted.
  11. Instead of trying to produce a programme to simulate the adult mind, why not rather try to produce one which simulates the child’s? If this were then subjected to an appropriate course of education one would obtain the adult brain.

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25 Quotes by Adam Smith that will make you think

09/25/2024 by

Today I thought exploring some quotes by Adam Smith would be interesting.

Adam Smith was a Scottish economist and philosopher who was a pioneer in the thinking of political economy.

He wrote two classic works, The Theory of Moral Sentiments (1759) and An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations (1776).

The latter, often abbreviated as The Wealth of Nations, is the first modern work that treats economics as a comprehensive system and as an academic discipline.

Adam Smith laid the foundations of classical free market economic theory, and he developed the concept of division of labour and expounded upon how rational self-interest and competition can lead to economic prosperity.

However, Adam Smith was a controversial figure in his day, and his general approach and writing style were often satirised by other writers such as Horace Walpole.

Nevertheless, he was an important figure, and his ideas are influential to this day. So, as always with successful people, it’s worth thinking about what he had to say.

So, here are 25 quotes by Adam Smith that will make you think.

I hope you’ll find them interesting and, please, do pass them on.

Quotes by Adam Smith (1-10):

  1. All money is a matter of belief.
  2. Every man lives by exchanging.
  3. There’s a lot of ruin in a nation.
  4. Happiness never lays its finger on its pulse.
  5. Mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent.
  6. Individual ambition serves the common good.
  7. The real tragedy of the poor is the poverty of their aspirations.
  8. No complaint is more common than that of a scarcity of money.
  9. This is one of those cases in which the imagination is baffled by the facts.
  10. Never complain of that of which it is, at all times, in your power to rid yourself.

Quotes by Adam Smith (11-20):

  1. With the greater part of rich people, the chief enjoyment of riches consists in the parade of riches.
  2. What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience?
  3. Man is an animal that makes bargains. No other animal does this. No dog exchanges bones with another.
  4. Labour was the first price, the original purchase, money that was paid for all things. It was not by gold or by silver, but by labour, that all wealth of the world was originally purchased.
  5. The real and effectual discipline which is exercised over a workman is that of his customers. It is the fear of losing their employment which restrains his frauds and corrects his negligence.
  6. As soon as the land of any country has all become private property, the landlords, like all other men, love to reap where they never sowed and demand a rent even for its natural produce.
  7. I have never known much good done by those who affected to trade for the public good.
  8. All for ourselves, and nothing for other people, seems, in every age of the world, to have been the vile maxim of the masters of mankind.
  9. Consumption is the sole end and purpose of all production; and the interest of the producer ought to be attended to, only so far as it may be necessary for promoting that of the consumer.
  10. It is not by augmenting the capital of the country, but by rendering a greater part of that capital active and productive than would otherwise be so, that the most judicious operations of banking can increase the industry of the country.

Quotes by Adam Smith (21-25):

  1. Virtue is more to be feared than vice because its excesses are not subject to the regulation of conscience.
  2. No society can surely be flourishing and happy, of which the far greater part of the members is poor and miserable.
  3. The propensity to truck, barter and exchange one thing for another is common to all men, and to be found in no other race of animals.
  4. It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest.
  5. Great ambition, the desire of real superiority, of leading and directing, seems to be altogether peculiar to man, and speech is the great instrument of ambition.

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15 Quotes by Bruce Lee that will still inspire you today

09/21/2024 by

Bruce Lee is best remembered for his roles in popular martial arts movies of the early 1970s, such as Enter the Dragon.

Born Lee Jun-fan in San Francisco in 1940, he was a Hong Kong-American actor, director, martial artist, martial arts instructor and philosopher brought up in Kowloon, Hong Kong.

Bruce Lee is considered by commentators, critics, media and indeed other martial artists to be the most influential martial artist of all time.

He also remains a pop culture icon of the 20th century, who bridged the gap between East and West.

Sadly, Bruce Lee died of a cerebral oedema in Hong Kong in 1973 but subsequently, he was named by Time magazine as one of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century. For a martial artist, that’s fairly impressive, don’t you think?

Despite his untimely death, he continues to influence people and there are several websites dedicated to Bruce Lee around the world.

In his relatively short life, he was credited with many inspirational quotes, so I thought today I’d share a few of these with you, dear reader.

So here are 15 quotes by Bruce Lee that will still inspire you today.

Quotes by Bruce Lee:

  1. As you think, so shall you become. ~Bruce Lee
  2. To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities. ~Bruce Lee
  3. Obey the principles without being bound by them. ~Bruce Lee
  4. Knowledge will give you power, but character respect. ~Bruce Lee
  5. Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory. ~Bruce Lee
  6. A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough. ~Bruce Lee
  7. Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them. ~Bruce Lee
  8. A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer. ~Bruce Lee
  9. If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of. ~Bruce Lee
  10. I fear not the man who has practised 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practised one kick 10,000 times. ~Bruce Lee
  11. To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person. ~Bruce Lee
  12. The possession of anything begins in the mind. ~Bruce Lee
  13. I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. ~Bruce Lee
  14. Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. ~Bruce Lee
  15. Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one’s potential. ~Bruce Lee

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21 Interesting quotes by John Cleese to inspire you

09/18/2024 by

As he is one of the greatest talents in British comedy, I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the many quotes by John Cleese.

John Marwood Cleese is an English actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer.

Educated at the University of Cambridge, he emerged from the Cambridge Footlights in the 1960s and he first achieved success at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

He also collaborated with David Frost and was a scriptwriter and performer on The Frost Report.

However, he is probably best known for his association with two classics of British comedy, namely Monty Python and Fawlty Towers, for both of which he was both a writer and performer.

He was also a co-founder of the production company Video Arts, famous for making entertaining and memorable training films. Many readers will have seen these training films over the years, I’m sure.

By any measure, John Cleese is a successful man and, as I always say, it’s always worth listening to successful people.

So, here are 21 quotes by John Cleese that I hope you’ll find interesting. Certainly, I did.

Quotes by John Cleese (1-10):

  1. He who laughs most learns best.
  2. Don’t let anyone tell you what you ought to like.
  3. Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
  4. A man will give up almost anything except his suffering.
  5. The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
  6. Who’s ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!
  7. I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
  8. The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not-very-good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.
  9. Now, most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That’s not enough anymore, and I think that is absolutely tragic, and I’m not exaggerating, that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.
  10. I think you can write very good comedy without a partner, but what I love about it, working with a partner, is that you get to places you’d never get on your own. It’s like when God was designing the world and decided we couldn’t have children without a partner; it was a way of mixing up the genes so you’d get a more interesting product.

Quotes by John Cleese (11-21):

  1. If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
  2. Well, the only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it.
  3. You don’t have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life is about change.
  4. I think that money spoils most things once it becomes the primary motivating force.
  5. A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.
  6. I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that’s to get rid of all my other desires.
  7. Most of the bad taste I’ve been accused of has been generic bad taste; it’s been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
  8. I love having different cultures around, but when the parent culture kind of dissipates, you’re left thinking, ‘Well, what’s going on?’
  9. When you’ve been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don’t know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it’s going to be.
  10. If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.
  11. I think it’s because in America you always get the sense that if you fail, you can just pack up your things and go somewhere else and try again. But in England, it’s so geographically small that if somebody succeeds here, it reduces your chances of succeeding.

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17 Quotes by Roald Dahl to reflect on

09/17/2024 by

Quotes by Roald DahlToday I thought it would be interesting to explore some quotes by Roald Dahl.

Roald Dahl was born in Wales to affluent Norwegian immigrant parents and spent most of his life in England. He served in the Royal Air Force (RAF) during the Second World War.

He is best known worldwide as a novelist, short-story writer, poet, and screenwriter and his books have sold more than 250 million copies globally.

Roald Dahl has been called one of the greatest storytellers for children of the 20th century. He rose to prominence as a writer in the 1940s with works for children and for adults, and he became one of the world’s best-selling authors.

His works for children include James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, The Witches, Fantastic Mr Fox, The BFG, The Twits, George’s Marvellous Medicine and Danny, the Champion of the World.

His works for older audiences include the short story collections Tales of the Unexpected and The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More.

Given his success, his words are worthy of reflection. So, take a few moments to read these 17 quotes by Roald Dahl.

Quotes by Roald Dahl (1-10):

  1. A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
  2. Did they preach one thing and practice another, these men of God?
  3. A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom.
  4. Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous any more.
  5. If my books can help children become readers, then I feel I have accomplished something important.
  6. Had I not had children of my own, I would have never written books for children, nor would I have been capable of doing so.
  7. The writer must force himself to work. He must make his own hours and if he doesn’t go to his desk at all there is nobody to scold him.
  8. My father was a Norwegian who came from a small town near Oslo. He broke his arm at the elbow when he was 14, and they amputated it.
  9. I shot down some German planes and I got shot down myself, crashing in a burst of flames and crawling out, getting rescued by brave soldiers.
  10. The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it’s a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he’s broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it’s not a joke anymore.

Quotes by Roald Dahl (11-17):

  1. A writer of fiction lives in fear. Each new day demands new ideas, and he can never be sure whether he is going to come up with them or not.
  2. I began to realize how simple life could be if one had a regular routine to follow with fixed hours, a fixed salary, and very little original thinking to do.
  3. Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours, he has been in a different place with totally different people.
  4. Pear Drops were exciting because they had a dangerous taste. All of us were warned against eating them, and the result was that we ate them more than ever.
  5. The adult is the enemy of the child because of the awful process of civilizing this thing that, when it is born, is an animal with no manners, and no moral sense at all.
  6. When you’re writing a book, with people in it as opposed to animals, it is no good having people who are ordinary, because they are not going to interest your readers at all. Every writer in the world must use characters that have something interesting about them, and this is even more true in children’s books.
  7. I find that the only way to make my characters really interesting to children is to exaggerate all their good or bad qualities, and so if a person is nasty or bad or cruel, you make them very nasty, very bad, very cruel. If they are ugly, you make them extremely ugly. That, I think, is fun and makes an impact.

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30 Sage Quotes by Lucius B. Wack to get you thinking

09/16/2024 by

Sage QuotesIf it’s sage quotes you are looking for, dear reader, I have 30 excellent observations from Lucius B. Wack.

Lucius B. Wack is a modern philosopher whom I greatly admire.

I think he has a lot of interesting things to say.

So, look at these sage quotes and see what you think.

I hope you find these observations about modern life in the Western world interesting.

If you do, then please feel free to pass them on to your friends.

But not before you’ve had a chance to reflect them all over a cup of coffee, or whatever your preferred morning beverage might be.

Sage Quotes (1-10):

  1. Demand the best for yourself. If you don’t, no one else will.
  2. You only have to look around you to see that the lunatics are running the asylum.
  3. Jobs that no longer need doing can’t be protected. Doing work for its own sake is pointless.
  4. We live in a world where the lives of the many are being subjected to the tyranny of the few.
  5. Beware the zealots imposing upon us all their worldviews. They’re working in their best interests, not ours. 
  6. No country has ever taxed its way to prosperity. Excessive taxation acts as a disincentive to hard work and enterprise.
  7. Don’t think of it as the end. Think of it as the beginning of a new chapter. A new experience. The next ride on the latest attraction. 
  8. If your answer’s No, then it’s No. No is a complete sentence. There’s no obligation on you to explain why. Just say No and move on.
  9. Predators are predators and will use any means available to gain access to their target victims. To believe otherwise would be naive. 
  10. Beware the conversational bullies. Those people who are determined to dismiss your opinions as being somewhat inferior to their own.

Sage Quotes (11-20):

  1. How you talk to yourself will dictate how you feel about yourself. So, talk positively. Focus on the good things you can offer the world.
  2. The future is an endless stream of opportunities which you can choose to take, or not, and you can make your life whatever you want it to be.
  3. Never assume other people will be working in your interests. They won’t. They’ll be working in their own interests. You should do the same.
  4. If politicians have the courage to tackle the issues that really matter to people, they might be surprised at just how much people start getting behind them.
  5. People have political power if they stick together and act in numbers large enough to frighten politicians. No sane government will ignore real people’s power. 
  6. Never apologise, and never explain because your apology will never be enough. If you’ve fallen foul of the mob, there’s no road to redemption, however contrite you try to be.
  7. The problem today is that sensible people say nothing when they should say something. If tyranny is not challenged, it takes hold and once it’s taken hold, we’re all in trouble. 
  8. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You’re not living their life and they’re not living yours. You are unique and your value to this world is you being the best version of yourself. 
  9. Over-tax the productive part of the economy and the result will be stagnation. Why bother taking business risks if you’ll be penalised should you succeed? Why would that make sense?
  10. We are governed by a set of clowns. The depressing thing is that there’s another set of clowns waiting in the wings. So, whatever happens, life is unlikely to improve for ordinary working people.

Sage Quotes (21-25):

  1. If you’re a politician and you’re incapable of truly appreciating the plight of the poor and ordinary working people, then don’t try engaging with such people as a PR stunt. You will only ever look clueless.
  2. Before deciding to go to university, ask yourself this. What will you gain by going? How will it better position you to get a job you’d want? The benefits of a university education are becoming marginal at best. 
  3. It may be a concern for you but unless it interrupts money and power then politicians won’t regard it as a problem and they’re unlikely to do anything about it, regardless of any suggestions they may make to the contrary.
  4. A true friend is someone you could call at 3 o’clock in the morning if you were in trouble with the reasonable expectation that they’d be happy to help you. Everyone else is just people you know with varying degrees of familiarity.
  5. The things of the greatest value in life cannot be bought. The love of family and old friends. The arms of your children around your neck. A good laugh with the people who matter most to you. These are things you cannot buy with gold.

Sage Quotes (26-30):

  1. The Media adheres unreservedly to intellectual fashion and groupthink. If you’re looking for a balanced analysis of those things that are having a major impact on our culture, you’re wasting your time looking for it in the mainstream media. 
  2. It seems like we’re seeing the total collapse of authority. A failure resulting from politicians lacking the courage to do what they know is necessary. They fear hostile media coverage more than they fear accountability to the electorate.
  3. Before you attempt to have fun at someone else’s expense, ask yourself this. How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of what you’re about to say or do? It may be a bit of fun for you, but will the other person see it that way? It’s only fun if it’s fun for everyone.
  4. Hiring managers are not there to be a solution to your problems. If you really want the job, you must demonstrate to them that you can be a solution to their problems. They don’t care about your hopes and dreams, they care about getting things done and whether you can help them do so. 
  5. Thieves can now rob you from the comfort of their own homes. Modern telecommunications make it easy for scammers. That together with people’s gullibility and their willingness to assume that any request from someone is genuine. View every request involving money with a sceptical eye.

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35 Quotes by Victor Hugo that will make you think

09/13/2024 by

Today let’s explore some of the many quotes by Victor Hugo.

Victor-Marie Hugo was a French Romantic writer and politician. During a literary career that spanned more than sixty years, he wrote in a variety of genres and forms.

Victor Hugo is regarded as one of the greatest French writers of all time and his most famous works included the novels The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Les Misérables.

His work touched upon most of the political and social issues and the artistic trends of his time.

In France, his literary stature established him as a national hero.

So, he was a successful man by any measure and, as always, it’s worth listening to what successful people have to say.

So here are 35 quotes by Victor Hugo guaranteed to make you think.

Quotes by Victor Hugo (1-20):

  1. Liberation is not deliverance.
  2. Habit is the nursery of errors.
  3. Those who live are those who fight.
  4. Perseverance, the secret of all triumphs.
  5. Idleness is the heaviest of all oppressions.
  6. People do not lack strength; they lack will.
  7. The learned man knows that he is ignorant.
  8. It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live.
  9. He who opens a school door closes a prison.
  10. Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause.
  11. Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
  12. There is nothing like a dream to create the future.
  13. Initiative is doing the right thing without being told.
  14. Many great actions are committed in small struggles.
  15. The wicked envy and hate; it is their way of admiring.
  16. Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters.
  17. Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.
  18. An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.
  19. Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved.
  20. One sees qualities at a distance and defects at close range.

Quotes by Victor Hugo (21-35):

  1. Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
  2. Do not let it be your aim to be something, but to be someone.
  3. Doing nothing is happiness for children and misery for old men.
  4. A faith is a necessity to a man. Woe to him who believes in nothing.
  5. Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time.
  6. When a man is out of sight, it is not too long before he is out of mind.
  7. I love all men who think, even those who think otherwise than myself.
  8. When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes.
  9. He who is not capable of enduring poverty is not capable of being free.
  10. No one knows like a woman how to say things which are at once gentle and deep.
  11. All the forces in the world are not so powerful as an idea whose time has come.
  12. It is most pleasant to commit a just action which is disagreeable to someone whom one does not like.
  13. The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved despite ourselves.
  14. A creditor is worse than a slave-owner; for the master owns only your person, but a creditor owns your dignity and can command it.
  15. There is no such thing as a little country. The greatness of a people is no more determined by their numbers than the greatness of a man is by his height.

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31 amusing quotes by Woody Allen to raise a smile

09/12/2024 by

Today I thought it might be amusing to explore some of the many quotes by Woody Allen. A man with a ready supply of witty one-liners that are always guaranteed to raise a smile.

As many readers will know, Woody Allen is an American film director, writer, actor, and comedian whose career spans more than six decades and multiple Academy Award-winning films.

He began his career writing material for television in the 1950s, and he’s written several books, as well as humorous pieces for the magazine The New Yorker.

Woody Allen has developed a monologue style of comedy, rather than traditional jokes, and his stage persona is that of an insecure, intellectual, fretful nebbish.

In 2004, Comedy Central ranked Woody Allen fourth on a list of the 100 greatest stand-up comedians, while a UK survey ranked Woody Allen the third-greatest comedian.

Anyway, here are 31 amusing quotes by Woody Allen and I hope you enjoy them all.

Please feel free to share them with your friends.

Quotes by Woody Allen (1-10):

  1. Marriage is the death of hope.
  2. Eighty per cent of success is showing up.
  3. I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.
  4. Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
  5. My one regret in life is that I’m not someone else.
  6. Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
  7. I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
  8. What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream?
  9. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
  10. If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Quotes by Woody Allen (11-20):

  1. I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
  2. In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker.
  3. I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
  4. When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
  5. I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
  6. If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.
  7. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
  8. I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
  9. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
  10. I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.

Quotes by Woody Allen (21-31):

  1. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
  2. Most of the time I don’t have much fun. The rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.
  3. I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.
  4. Basically, my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath, and she’d come in and sink my boats.
  5. I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
  6. His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
  7. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
  8. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
  9. Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
  10. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
  11. It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

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17 amusing quotes by Bob Hope to raise a smile

09/11/2024 by

Today I thought exploring some quotes by the late, great, Bob Hope would be interesting. Always the funny man with a ready wit.

If you’re not quite old enough to remember him now, Bob Hope was one of the biggest stars in the golden age of American entertainment.

In many ways, the quintessential, proud American, Bob Hope was born in 1903 in Eltham, southeast London. His family moved to the United States when he was aged four and he grew up near Cleveland, Ohio.

He began his career in show business in the early 1920s, initially as a comedian and dancer on the vaudeville circuit, before acting on Broadway.

Bob Hope began appearing on the radio and in films starting in 1934.

He was known for his comedic timing, specializing in one-liners and rapid-fire delivery of jokes that were often self-deprecating and he helped establish modern American stand-up comedy.

Bob Hope was active in public life until 1998 but, sadly, died at home on July 27, 2003, at the age of 100.

A successful man by any measure, and successful people are always worth listening to.

So here are 17 quotes by Bob Hope, that are amusing and reflect the humour of his era.

Enjoy them all and feel free to share them with your friends.

Quotes by Bob Hope

  1. They’ll always be an England, even if it’s in Hollywood.
  2. You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
  3. Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
  4. I love to go to Washington if only to be near my money.
  5. Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
  6. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
  7. I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.
  8. I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
  9. I do benefits for all religions. I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
  10. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
  11. I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.
  12. If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
  13. She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
  14. I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
  15. A sense of humour is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heartburn?
  16. I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
  17. When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things, not the great occasions, that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.

Please share this post:

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