25 witty puns and jokes to cheer someone up

Today I offer you 25 witty puns and jokes to cheer someone up. If you know someone in serious need of a smile or two then some of these might just make them laugh.

So take a few minutes to enjoy them all and then pick the best ones and see if you can get a good laugh from your friends.

Even if it’s only a groan you get in return, it will probably lift peoples’ spirits, at the very least.

Jokes to cheer someone up: (1 – 12)

If at first you don’t succeed then don’t try skydiving.
If a drummer comes out of retirement, will there be repercussions?

I never like taking selfies of myself in the shower. The photos turn out blurry and I have selfie steam issues.
You should keep your voice down in cornfields because there are so many ears.
I used to be a watchmaker. I loved the job because I made my own hours.

If your guy doesn’t like fresh fruit puns, let the mango.
I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn’t work.
Will glass coffins ever be popular? Remains to be seen.

I tried the Vegan diet for a week but it was a huge miss steak.
Apparently, you can’t use BEEFSTEW as a password because it’s not Stroganoff.
I was listening to classical music on the television but it wasn’t to my taste. Far too much sax and violins.

Did you hear about the watchmaker who became a gardener? He ended up with too much thyme on his hands.

Jokes to cheer someone up: (13 – 25)

I made a movie about diarrhoea. It’s been released everywhere.
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars were all in the same bar. They didn’t planet that way.

You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish. Unless you play bass, then you can play all the scales.
So many people are anti-vaccination but I think they should give it a shot.
I saw an advert in the newspaper for burial plots. I thought that’s the last thing I need.

My girlfriend bet me $100 that I couldn’t build a car from spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
I went to Mount Rushmore and I was probably the only visitor unimpressed. Perhaps I just took it for granite.
Can someone recommend a better way of clearing frost from my windshield? I used a discount card but I only got 20% off.

My wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl. “I didn’t know he could!” was my reply.
A man was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun. I was told that he’s fully recovered now.
My wife’s in hospital after eating a daffodil bulb. She’ll be out in the spring.

Lance is no longer a common name but in medieval times, men were named Lance a lot.
There’s a new GPS device designed for seniors. It tells you how to get where you want to go and then reminds you why you wanted to go there.

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I hope so anyway.

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