People can be challenging at times, can’t they? Sometimes they do get too much, I’m sure you’ll agree. So there are times when we all need to use a little irony and sarcasm, to subtly convey our contempt.
We can’t live without people, of course, but they can drive us all nuts at times, can’t they? Well, maybe that’s just me.
I love people. At least, most of the time, anyway.
However, I also like to have my little stock of sarcastic remarks, retorts, and put-downs ready to use when I need them. And occasionally, we all need them, surely?
So today I thought I’d share with you 33 irony and sarcasm quotes that subtly convey contempt.
Read them. Enjoy them. And I hope at least some of them make you smile.
And if you’re ever in a situation that warrants a biting comeback, then you’ll be well-prepared. I hope so anyway.
Irony and Sarcasm:
- You go, girl! And please don’t come back.
- I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
- Those who laugh last think slowest.
- Nothing gives me greater pleasure than your absence.
- It’s obvious that in your profession, being stupid is not a handicap.
- Look, I’m really busy right now. Can I ignore you some other time?
- Is being stupid your profession, or are you simply gifted that way?
- If you’re ever given the keys to the city, then the city will need to change the locks.
- How is it that when you see light at the end of the tunnel, they always manage to extend the tunnel?
- If ignorance is bliss then you should be the happiest guy on the planet.
- To err is human but to blame it on others, now that’s the art of politics.
- I’d say something polite but that might encourage you to hang around and that would be more than I could bear today.
- They said this was a job anyone could do and now I’ve met you, I know that to be true.
- You’re living proof that inability is not necessarily a liability in the job market.
- I didn’t vote for you, I voted to stop your opponent from gaining power.
- Sorry for the pause but I was trying to imagine you with a personality.
- When you say something worth hearing I’ll listen but I doubt that’ll happen any time soon.
- Look I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you. You’ve got to do some of the heavy lifting yourself.
- Did my opinion offend you? You should hear the opinions I keep to myself.
- I do try to see things from your point of view but your point of view is so stupid.
- If what I said is a problem for you then perhaps you could write it down on a piece of paper and then shove that piece of paper right up your ass.
- You’re reading that book to look good, surely? Certainly, as far as I can tell, you lack the brains to understand it.
- You’re one of those people who manage to spread a little misery wherever you go.
- I’d enlighten you if I could but I’m not a magician.
- You’re living proof that light travels faster than sound. You appeared quite bright until I heard what you said.
- It wasn’t my intention to offend you when I called you stupid. I just assumed you knew that already.
- Are you really that stingy or do you just have extremely short arms and very deep pockets?
- If laughter is the best medicine then your face is the cure for every illness known to man.
- I’m not listening but please keep talking. Why wouldn’t I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed?
- Not all girls are made from sugar and spice and everything nice. Some are made from sarcasm and wine and everything fine.
- You may lack the power of conversation but unfortunately, you don’t lack the power of speech.
- If it looked like I give a damn then allow me to apologize for giving you the wrong impression.
- I’m not sarcastic by nature; I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
Please share this post:
So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes of your time?
If any of these irony and sarcasm quotes made you smile, then please share this post with your friends on social media.
When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.
Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.
Then perhaps you’d like some more laughs? Then click on the links below.
Other articles that might appeal to you:
- 27 funny comebacks that say ‘Don’t mess with me!’
- 21 sarcasm quotes that are the sharpest form of wit
- 30 dark sarcasm quotes that’ll make you smile
- The 30 best bitchy comments that’ll really make you smile
- 31 stupid quotes that make no sense that’ll make you think
- 21 quotes by women that will make you think
- 15 positive quotes by exceptional people to lift your spirits
- 29 clever puns that’ll make you smile, at least a little
- 15 George Costanza quotes that’ll make you smile
- 19 Best Homer Simpson quotes that’ll make you smile
- 25 corny puns that’ll make you smile or make you cringe
- 3 funny jokes to tell your friends and make them smile
- 31 great quotes from Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm
- 21 Del Boy quotes fans of Only Fools and Horses will love
- 50 Funny footballer quotes for soccer fans everywhere
- 15 amusing quotes by Jerry Seinfeld to brighten your day
- 21 witty short jokes to tickle you and brighten your day
You might like to try these free games too:
- Chess online free
- Checkers online free
- Backgammon online for free
- Word Search online free
- Sudoku free online
- Minesweeper online free
Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2024. All rights reserved.