If you enjoy short story jokes then I’ve got six real gems for you today. They all made me laugh and I’m confident that they’ll amuse you too, dear reader.
So, grab a coffee and take a few moments to relax and enjoy them all.
And please, feel free to pass them on to your friends.
Short story jokes:
1. Emily and the Apache Woman
Emily was driving in her Chevrolet Bolt along Interstate 17 in Arizona, on her way home to Phoenix.
Suddenly she saw a poor, elderly Apache woman walking very slowly along the side of the highway.
Recognising that this situation was quite dangerous and feeling sorry for the poor woman, Emily pulled over and offered her a lift.
The Apache woman nodded silently in appreciation and climbed into the car.
Naturally, Emily tried to engage her in conversation but initially, the Apache woman remained silent and she seemed a bit nervous.
However, as they progressed along the highway towards Phoenix the woman eventually started to relax a little and then she started to look around.
The old woman was looking closely at everything in the car, apparently studying every detail. Then she noticed a pale blue gift bag on the rear seat behind Emily.
“What’s in the bag?” she asked Emily, almost whispering.
“Oh,” Emily responded warmly, “it’s a bottle of Whiskey that I got for my husband.”
The Apache woman remained silent momentarily and then speaking with the quiet wisdom of someone who’s been around the block a few times, she smiled and said, “Good trade.”
2. The Naughty Boys
Charlotte had two young boys, Jack and Harry.
Jack and Harry were two young kids who were always getting themselves into trouble. If there was any mischief happening anywhere in their town, then usually Jack and Harry were involved and Charlotte knew this.
Naturally, her boys’ wayward behaviour was a concern for Charlotte and it was an issue she was keen to resolve.
One day Charlotte read an article in the local newspaper about a clergyman in town who’d been very successful in disciplining young boys and improving their behaviour.
So Charlotte phoned the clergyman and asked him if he would speak with her boys.
The clergyman said he was happy to help but he was quick to stress that it was important that he see each of them separately.
So Charlotte decided to send young Harry to see the clergyman in the morning, with his elder brother Jack to follow in the afternoon.
The clergyman was an enormous man with a stern face and a big, booming voice.
He instructed Harry to sit down and then he asked him sternly, “Where is God?“
The clergyman’s approach scared the life out of Harry. His mouth dropped open but fear prevented him from speaking. He just sat there wide-eyed, with his mouth hanging open.
So the clergyman repeated the question but this time with an even sterner tone. “Where is God?” he said.
Again Harry made no attempt to respond. He was too scared.
So this time the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in Harry’s face, bellowing, “WHERE IS GOD?“
That was it for Harry. He jumped up from his chair, screamed and ran out of the room and all the way home. He didn’t stop running until he got to his own bedroom and then he hid in his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When Jack found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened, dude?“
Still gasping for breath, Harry replied, “Dude, we are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think WE did it!“
3. The Test Results
John had been undergoing tests for a serious health concern for several weeks. Finally, it was the day for him to receive his test results.
So he was sitting in his doctor’s office and he said, “Doc, I really need to know my test results! Not knowing is driving me crazy.“
His doctor reviewed his notes again and then said, “Well John, there’s some good news and some bad news I’m afraid. Which one do you want first?”
To which John replied, “I think I’d prefer the good news first. Yeah Doc, let me have the good news first!”
“Well,” said the doctor, “I hear there are some amazing deals on cremations this week.“
4. Deceiving another:
Scooter says to his friend Arlo, “Hey, listen, I need your help. I’m sleeping with Wyatt’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after the service for me?“
Arlo doesn’t like deceiving people but, as Scooter’s friend, he feels obliged, and he agrees.
So, after the service, Arlo starts talking to Wyatt, asking him all sorts of dumb questions, to delay him as requested.
This goes on for several minutes until Wyatt starts getting a bit annoyed and he asks Arlo what’s going on.
At this point, Arlo feels guilty, and he confesses to Wyatt, “Scooter is sleeping with your wife right now, and he asked me to keep you occupied.“
Wyatt smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Arlo’s shoulder and says, “Listen, boy, my wife died two years ago. You’d be wise to hurry home right now.”
5. A man and his Ostrich
A guy walks into a New York diner with an ostrich.
They both sit down at the counter and after a few moments, the waitress asks them whether they’re ready to order.
“Yes,” said the guy, “I’ll have the cheeseburger with fries and a Coke.”
He then looks at the ostrich and says, “What are you having?“
“The same,” says the ostrich.
About ten minutes later the waitress returns with their order and then says. “That’ll be $22.00 please.“
The man reaches into his pocket and, without even looking he pulls out the exact amount of money for payment.
The next day, the same guy and his ostrich return and once again the guy says, “I’ll have the cheeseburger with fries and a Coke please.“
And once again the ostrich says, “The same.“
Once again when their order arrives, the guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount of money to settle the bill.
This goes on for a few days and is becoming a routine, when one night they enter the diner and the waitress asks, “The usual?“
“No,” said the guy “as it’s Friday I’ll have the T-bone steak with a baked potato, a green salad and a glass of Merlot.”
“Same for me,” said the ostrich.
The waitress brings the order and then says, “That’ll be $53.00.”
Once again the guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount of money to pay the bill.
At this point, the waitress is unable to suppress her curiosity any longer and she says to the guy, “Excuse me, sir. How is it you always manage to pull from your pocket the exact amount of money? You do it every time.”
“Well,” said the guy, “several years ago I was cleaning my attic and I found an old oil lamp. When I rubbed it a genie appeared and granted me two wishes.”
“Really?” said the waitress. “And what did you wish for?”
“Well my first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the exact amount of money would always be there,” said the guy.
“Now that’s brilliant!” the waitress responded. “Most people would wish for like a million dollars or something but you’ll always be as rich as you need to be for as long as you live!“
“That’s right,” said the guy. “Whether I’m buying a pitcher of beer or a Bugatti Chiron, the exact amount of money will always be there.”
The waitress was clearly impressed but still a little curious.
“So what’s with the ostrich then?” she inquired.
The guy sighs and then says, “Well, my second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.“
The waitress smiled at him and said, “Be careful what you wish for, hey?”
6. The Frog and the Fortune Teller
A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out whether he’ll ever meet his princess.
The fortune-teller looks into her crystal ball for a few moments and then says to the frog, “Well I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?“
“Let me have the good news first,” said the frog.
“Well, you’re going to meet the most beautiful girl in the world,” said the fortune-teller. “She will be interested in you and she will want to know all about you. In fact, she will want you to open up for her and you will give her your heart.“
“That sounds fantastic,” said the frog, “but what’s the bad news then?“
“You’re going to meet her in her Biology class,” replied the fortune-teller.
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