I always get the best reaction with blog posts that are full of content to make you smile. And funny witty quotes are particularly popular with readers.
With that in mind, I’ve been trawling my journals looking for funny witty quotes which I’ve noted for posterity, and which I hope you’ll enjoy now, dear reader.
So, here are 25 funny witty quotes that I’m confident will tickle you. Certainly, they tickled me and made me smile.
They’re all by Authors Unknown but they’re razor-sharp and funny nevertheless.
So go on take a few minutes right now to have a laugh and enjoy them all.
Funny witty quotes:
- ‘Be yourself is the worst piece of advice you can give to some people.
- Some people just need a sympathetic pat on the head, with a hammer.
- HIM: How is it your single? HER: Surely you mean you’re?
- Arguing with a fool serves only to prove that there are two.
- Only dead fish go with the flow.
- The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t hold this much personality.
- Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you’re drunk.
- There are only two rules in life. No 1: Never ever give out all the information.
- You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid who acts just like you.
- If you have nothing to be grateful for, check your pulse.
- Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions. Chocolate understands.
- I’ve learned so much from my mistakes I’m thinking of making a few more.
- I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
- We mature with damage, not with years.
- Life is short. So smile while you still have teeth.
- Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
- Sarcasm is not an attitude. It’s an art.
- I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
- Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.
- The only time a woman is helpless is when her nail polish is drying. Otherwise, watch out.
- The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humour.
- Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the privilege.
- If you don’t like the way I drive then stay off the sidewalk.
- If at first, you don’t succeed then skydiving’s not for you.
- 129% of people exaggerate.
Please share this post with your friends:
So did these funny witty quotes amuse you, dear reader?
Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?
If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.
And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read in this post then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.
It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles. Thank you.
Articles that might appeal to you:
- 15 Very Funny One-Liners by Billy Connolly
- 35 witty one-liners that are all very corny but fun too
- 25 corny puns that’ll make you smile or make you cringe
- 27 corny but funny puns to raise a smile or two
- 35 witty quotes from funny people you’ll love
- 15 funny work quotes that will certainly resonate with you
- 34 corny but very clever one-liners that’ll crack you up
- 33 witty one-liners that will really tickle you
- 37 funny comebacks for dealing with rude people
- 21 witty short jokes to tickle you and brighten your day
- The 30 best bitchy comments that’ll really make you smile
- 31 stupid quotes that make no sense that’ll make you think
- 25 corny puns that’ll make you smile or make you cringe
- 31 great quotes from Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm
- 21 Del Boy quotes fans of Only Fools and Horses will love
- 50 Funny footballer quotes for soccer fans everywhere
- 15 amusing quotes by Jerry Seinfeld to brighten your day
- 21 funny computer nerd jokes that will tickle you
You might like to try these free games too:
- Chess online free
- Checkers online free
- Backgammon online for free
- Word Search online free
- Sudoku free online
- Minesweeper online free
Copyright © Mann Island Media Limited 2024. All rights reserved.
