4 cornerstones for how to speak so people will listen

How to speak so people will listen is a common challenge many of us face daily.

There’s an old saying that states that it’s not just what you say but the way that you say it.

And it’s very true: how something is said is as important as the words being spoken.

Now just think about that for a second. We can use the same words in different ways and deliver completely different messages.

How something is said also has an impact on whether people listen to us or not. We’ve all met engaging people who capture our attention, and we’ve all met a few boring people too, I’m sure.

In the video included here, Julian Treasure offers some excellent insight into how to speak so people will listen to you.

His underlying message in the video is that we must learn to speak with power to get our messages across to other people.

Julian Treasure suggests that there are several habits we must avoid if we are to speak with power.

He says in his view there are Seven Deadly Sins of Speaking, albeit he does note that this is not intended to be an exhaustive list. His deadly seven are as follows:

  1. Gossip: Speaking in an unkind way about other people.
  2. Judging: People are unlikely to listen if they feel they’re being judged.
  3. Negativity: It’s hard to listen to people with a negative attitude.
  4. Complaining: It’s hard to listen to a moaner too.
  5. Excuses: You won’t be taken seriously if blame is always elsewhere.
  6. Exaggeration: This can border on lying, and who listens to a liar?
  7. Dogmatism: Where facts are confused with opinions.

So, can we change if we suffer from all or some of these deadly sins?

Yes, of course, but it does take a little work and a better understanding of how improvements can be achieved.

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How to speak so people will listen:

In the video, Julian explains four cornerstones of powerful speech. He uses the mnemonic HAIL to explain these as follows:-

  1. Honesty: Being clear and straight
  2. Authenticity: Being real and being yourself
  3. Integrity: Being true to your word
  4. Love: Wishing people well. And we all like to be appreciated, surely?

However, understanding these cornerstones is only the beginning of the process because, as stated earlier, how you say what you’ve got to say is important too.

Julian then discusses aspects of speaking such as register, timbre, prosody, pace, pitch, volume, and the use of silence. To address many of these issues, you may need the help of a voice coach, of course, but knowing about them is a good start.

Julian also suggests some simple voice warm-up exercises for you to use before you give a speech. They’re so easy you can use them immediately.

This being a TEDTalk you’d expect this video to be both interesting and useful, and it doesn’t disappoint. I found Julian Treasure’s ideas fascinating, and if you’re someone who regularly speaks in front of an audience, large or small, then I am confident that you’ll find this video helpful.

This video has had over 22 million views on YouTube, so clearly, Julian Treasure’s ideas have resonated with a significant audience already.

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking: Proven Techniques

Many people feel anxious about speaking in front of others. This fear can hold you back in your career and personal life. The good news is that you can learn to manage and overcome this common anxiety.

This shift in mindset takes the pressure off you and puts it on the value you’re providing. It helps calm nerves and allows you to connect better with listeners.

Preparation is key to building confidence.

Practice your speech, know your material well, and visualize success.

Deep breathing and relaxation techniques can also help manage physical symptoms like shaking or nausea.

With time and practice, most people can become more comfortable speaking to groups.

Key Takeaways

  • Focusing on helping the audience reduces anxiety and improves speaking skills
  • Thorough preparation and practice build confidence for public speaking
  • Relaxation techniques help manage physical symptoms of speaking anxiety

Understanding the Fear of Public Speaking

Public speaking anxiety is a common fear that affects many people. It involves feeling nervous or scared when speaking in front of others. This fear can cause physical and mental symptoms that make public speaking difficult.

Psychology Behind the Fear

The fear of public speaking often stems from a fear of judgment or embarrassment. People worry others will think poorly of them if they make mistakes. This anxiety links to our natural desire to be accepted by our social groups.

Some view public speaking as a threat. This triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response. The brain releases stress hormones, preparing for danger.

Past bad experiences can increase this fear. Negative memories of public speaking may cause more anxiety in future situations.

Common Symptoms and Reactions

Physical symptoms of public speaking anxiety can include:

  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Sweating
  • Shaking hands
  • Dry mouth
  • Nausea

Mental symptoms often involve:

  • Intense worry about making mistakes
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Feeling overwhelmed

These reactions can lead to behaviors like:

  • Avoiding speaking opportunities
  • Rushing through presentations
  • Forgetting important points

Some people may experience panic attacks in severe cases. This intense fear can feel paralyzing and hard to control.

Preparation Strategies

Getting ready for a speech takes planning and practice. The right prep work can boost your confidence and help you deliver a great talk.

Crafting Your Speech

Start by picking a clear main topic. Break it into 3-5 key points to cover. Write a strong opening to grab attention. Use stories and examples to explain your ideas. End with a powerful closing that sums up your message.

Keep sentences short and simple. Use words most people know. Avoid jargon or complex terms. Read your draft out loud to catch parts that sound odd.

Make notes or an outline to guide you. Don’t write out every word – that can make you sound stiff when speaking.

Rehearsal Techniques

Practice often to feel more at ease. Start by talking through your speech alone. Then try it in front of a mirror to check your body language. Next, ask friends or family to listen and give feedback.

Time yourself to make sure you fit the allotted time. Record a video of your practice to spot areas to improve. Focus on your tone, pace, and gestures.

Do a full run-through in the actual space if you can. This helps you get used to the room and any tech you’ll use.

Visual Aids and Props

Good visuals can make your talk more engaging. Use slides, charts, or props to show key info or ideas. But keep them simple – too much detail can distract from your words.

Limit text on slides. Use big fonts and clear images. Make sure you can work any tech smoothly.

Practice with your visuals ahead of time. Have backups ready in case of tech problems. Don’t rely on them fully – be ready to speak without if needed.

Developing Confidence

Building confidence is key to overcoming public speaking fears. Positive self-talk and strong body language can help speakers feel more self-assured on stage.

Positive Self-Talk

Positive self-talk can change how speakers view themselves and their abilities. It involves replacing negative thoughts with encouraging ones.

Speakers should identify negative self-talk patterns and challenge them. For example, instead of thinking “I’ll mess up,” they can say “I’m prepared and will do my best.

Practising affirmations before speaking can boost confidence. Phrases like “I am capable” or “My message matters” can be helpful.

Visualizing success is another powerful tool. Speakers can imagine themselves delivering a great speech and receiving positive feedback.

Body Language Tips

Body language plays a big role in projecting confidence on stage. Good posture is essential – standing tall with shoulders back conveys authority.

Making eye contact with audience members helps build a connection. Speakers should aim to look at different people throughout the room.

Hand gestures can add emphasis to key points. Using open, relaxed gestures appears more confident than crossing arms or fidgeting.

Moving purposefully on stage shows comfort. Speakers can practice walking and pausing at key moments in their speech.

Smiling naturally helps speakers appear friendly and at ease. It can also help reduce tension and make the audience more receptive.

Techniques for Managing Anxiety

Many people face anxiety when speaking in public. Luckily, there are effective ways to manage these feelings. The following methods can help speakers feel more calm and confident.

Breathing Exercises

Deep breathing is a powerful tool for reducing anxiety. It helps slow the heart rate and relax tense muscles. Try this simple technique, known as Square Breathing:

  1. Breathe in slowly through your nose for 4 counts
  2. Hold for 4 counts
  3. Exhale through your mouth for 4 counts
  4. Repeat 5-10 times

Another helpful method is belly breathing. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Breathe so that only the hand on your stomach moves. This engages the diaphragm and promotes relaxation.

Practice these exercises daily. They’ll become more effective with regular use.

Mindfulness and Relaxation

Mindfulness can lower stress levels before and during public speaking. It involves focusing on the present moment without judgment.

Try this quick mindfulness exercise:

• Close your eyes • Notice five things you can hear • Notice four things you can feel • Notice three things you can smell • Notice two things you can taste • Notice one thing you can see when you open your eyes

Progressive muscle relaxation is another useful technique. Tense and then relax each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head.

Visualization can also help. Picture yourself giving a successful speech. Imagine feeling confident and the audience responding positively.

On-the-Spot Coping Strategies

Sometimes anxiety strikes right before or during a speech. These quick tactics can help:

• Take a few deep breaths • Smile (even if you don’t feel like it) • Stand tall with good posture • Focus on your message, not yourself • Make eye contact with friendly faces in the audience

Remember, mild nervousness is normal and can even improve performance. Reframe anxiety as excitement. Tell yourself “I’m excited” instead of “I’m nervous.”

If possible, arrive at the venue early. Familiarize yourself with the space. Test any equipment you’ll be using. This can help reduce uncertainty and boost confidence.

Engaging the Audience

Connecting with your listeners and making your talk interactive can help ease public speaking fears. These techniques create a more relaxed atmosphere and shift focus away from yourself.

Connecting with the Audience

Make eye contact with different people in the room. This helps build trust and makes your talk feel more like a conversation. Smile and use open body language to appear friendly and approachable.

Use stories and examples that resonate with your listeners. Personal anecdotes or case studies related to their experiences can grab attention. Tailor your content to the audience’s interests and needs.

Show genuine interest in your topic. Your enthusiasm can be contagious and help engage others. Speak clearly and vary your tone to keep listeners interested.

Interactive Elements

Ask questions to involve the audience. This can be as simple as a show of hands or more complex like small group discussions.

Use polls or live surveys if technology allows. This gives real-time feedback and makes people feel involved.

Incorporate brief activities or exercises related to your topic. This breaks up the talk and allows for active learning.

Consider using visual aids like slides, props, or demonstrations. These can illustrate points and give the audience something to focus on besides the speaker.

Handling Questions

Prepare for likely questions in advance. This boosts confidence and helps provide thorough answers.

Listen carefully to each question. Repeat it if needed to ensure understanding.

Answer concisely and directly. If unsure, it’s okay to say “I don’t know” and offer to follow up later.

Thank the person asking and use their question to further engage others. For example, “Great question. Does anyone else have thoughts on this?”

Remain calm if faced with a difficult question. Take a deep breath and respond professionally.

Using Technology to Your Advantage

Technology offers powerful tools to help speakers prepare and practice. These digital aids can boost confidence and improve delivery.

Presentation Software Tools

Modern presentation software goes beyond basic slides. Programs like PowerPoint and Prezi now include features to help speakers during live talks.

Speaker notes and teleprompter modes display talking points without the audience seeing them. This allows presenters to maintain eye contact while staying on track.

Some tools offer real-time analytics. They can track speaking pace and filler word usage. This data helps speakers refine their delivery over time.

Collaborative features let teams work together on presentations. This is useful for group projects or getting feedback from colleagues.

Virtual Reality Practice

Virtual reality (VR) creates immersive practice environments for public speakers. Users can stand in front of simulated audiences to rehearse.

VR apps like VirtualSpeech place speakers in realistic 3D venues. The virtual crowd reacts to the presentation, helping users get used to audience responses.

Speakers can customize the virtual space to match their actual speaking venue. This familiarity can reduce anxiety on the day of the event.

Many VR practice tools offer instant feedback. They may track eye contact, speaking volume, and body language. Users can then work on improving these aspects.

Practical Experience

Gaining hands-on experience is key to overcoming public speaking fears. Regular practice in supportive environments helps build confidence and skills over time.

Joining Speaking Clubs

Speaking clubs offer a safe space to practice public speaking. Toastmasters International is a popular option with local chapters worldwide. Members give prepared and impromptu speeches at meetings.

These clubs provide constructive feedback to help speakers improve. The supportive atmosphere allows people to face their fears gradually.

Regular attendance helps build confidence through repeated practice. Members can take on different roles like timer or evaluator to get comfortable being in front of an audience.

Public Speaking Workshops

Workshops provide intensive training to boost public speaking skills quickly. They often cover topics like body language, vocal techniques, and speech structure.

Many universities and community centers offer affordable workshops. Some companies also provide training for employees.

Workshops let participants practice in front of others and get expert feedback. They often use video recording to help speakers see areas for improvement.

Group exercises help build camaraderie among participants. This shared experience can make public speaking feel less daunting.

Feedback and Improvement

Getting honest feedback is crucial for growth. Ask trusted friends or colleagues to watch you speak and give input.

Record yourself speaking and review the footage. Look for areas to improve like filler words, pacing, or body language.

Join online communities where you can share speech videos for feedback. Platforms like YouTube or specialized forums can be helpful.

Set specific goals for each speaking opportunity. Focus on improving one aspect at a time, like maintaining eye contact or using vocal variety.

Embrace mistakes as learning opportunities. Each speaking experience, good or bad, helps build resilience and skill.

Learning from Influential Speakers

Studying successful public speakers can provide valuable insights and techniques to improve your own skills. Observing how they engage audiences and deliver messages effectively can boost your confidence.

Analyzing Famous Speeches

Famous speeches offer a wealth of lessons for aspiring speakers. Look at how Martin Luther King Jr. used repetition in his “I Have a Dream” speech to drive home key points. Notice how Steve Jobs used simple language and visuals in his product launches to explain complex ideas.

Pay attention to speakers’ body language and vocal variety. Winston Churchill’s powerful voice and determined stance helped rally a nation during World War II. Practice mimicking these techniques in front of a mirror or with friends.

Study the structure of great speeches. Many follow a clear pattern:

  • Opening hook
  • Main points (usually 3)
  • Memorable conclusion

Role Models and Mentors

Finding a public speaking role model can inspire and guide your growth. Watch TED Talks to see a variety of speaking styles. Pick speakers you admire and analyze what makes them effective.

Consider joining a group like Toastmasters to meet experienced speakers. Ask for feedback and tips from those you respect. A mentor can offer personalized advice and encouragement as you develop your skills.

Remember, even top speakers still feel nervous. The key is learning to manage those feelings and channel them into positive energy for your presentations.

Frequently Asked Questions

Public speaking fears are common, but there are proven ways to overcome them. These strategies can help build confidence and reduce anxiety before presentations.

What are effective strategies for reducing anxiety before a public speech?

Deep breathing exercises can help calm nerves. Taking slow, deep breaths activates the body’s relaxation response.

Showing kindness to others can also reduce anxiety. This activates the vagus nerve, which helps calm the fight-or-flight response.

Can regular practice help in overcoming the fear of public speaking?

Yes, regular practice is key to overcoming public speaking fears. The more a person speaks in front of others, the more comfortable they become.

Practicing early and often is crucial. Some experts recommend practising for one hour per minute of speech content.

What role does preparation play in managing public speaking fears?

Thorough preparation is essential for managing public speaking anxiety. Being well-prepared gives speakers more confidence in their material.

The more a person prepares, the better they will handle the presentation. This includes researching the topic and organizing thoughts clearly.

How can breathing techniques aid in calming nerves before speaking in public?

Focused breathing exercises can significantly reduce nervousness before public speaking. Slow, deep breaths help activate the body’s natural relaxation response.

Box breathing is one effective technique. It involves inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, exhaling for 4, and holding for 4 before repeating.

In what ways can positive visualization impact the fear of public speaking?

Positive visualization can help speakers feel more confident and prepared. Imagining a successful presentation can reduce anxiety and boost self-assurance.

Visualizing positive outcomes helps speakers feel more in control. They can mentally rehearse their speech and imagine confident body language.

What are some methods to build confidence in public speaking skills?

Joining a public speaking group like Toastmasters can help build confidence. These groups provide a supportive environment to practice and receive feedback.

Recording practice sessions allows speakers to review and improve their performance. This helps identify areas for improvement in delivery and content.

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Public Speaking: The Power of the Pause

Public SpeakingToday I offer you a tip for public speaking: the power of the pause. This is a great tip from Brian Tracy.

If your aim is to be successful then mastering the art of public speaking is an essential skill you must develop.

If you’re a successful, high-profile individual you can’t avoid speaking in public, at least occasionally. However much you might try to resist it I’m afraid it’s like trying to hold back the tide. It can’t be done.

However, I recognize that public speaking can be a bit daunting even for people who are otherwise quite confident.

So if you lack confidence in this area then don’t worry. You’re not alone I promise you. Most people feel just like you do when they find themselves standing in front of a crowd faced with the expectation that they’ll be able to say something meaningful and present it in an interesting and engaging way too.

The key to being interesting is developing your public speaking technique. The more you practice and build your technique the more confident you’ll feel when you step up to the lectern.

One way to improve your public speaking technique is to learn from some of the best speakers and copy what they do. And Brian Tracy is an excellent speaker worthy of study. Personally, I find him both interesting and inspiring.

So if Brian has something to say then listening to him is worthy of your time I believe.

In the short but excellent video embedded with this post, Brian Tracy offers some useful advice on the subject of public speaking. In particular, using the power of a pause to emphasize or reinforce a point being made.

An important element of public speaking is making sure that the underlying messages resonate with your audience. If they take away three or four powerful messages then you’ll have done your job and done it well.

If you want to improve your public speaking skills, I recommend you watch this video.

You’ll learn some helpful tips, as well as one of the little-known secrets used by top public speakers.

Once again I must say, Brian’s short video is well worth a few minutes of your time.

Public Speaking: The Power of the Pause

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