27 corny but funny puns to raise a smile or two

If you like funny puns, then I’ve put together a batch of very corny ones in the hope they will raise a smile or two. They all made me smile, but for me, the cornier the pun, the better.

So, I hope you enjoy them all, dear reader.

If you do, please feel free to pass them on.

Funny puns:

Odorless chemicals just don’t make scents.
I love how the Earth rotates. It makes my day.

I was working in a glue factory, but I couldn’t stick with it.
Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
The cost of the space program is astronomical.

I was inconsolable when my PlayStation was stolen.
Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.
I googled “how to start a fire” and got 869,000 matches.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!
I used to be a history teacher, but there’s no future in it.
How’s my long-distance relationship going? So far, so good.

I cancelled my gym membership because it wasn’t working out.
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
I felt lonely, so I bought some shares. It’s nicer to have some company.

If you’re thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy now.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents told me the sky was the limit.

I sued the airport for mislaying my baggage, but I lost my case.
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator, and only a fraction of people will find that funny.
I get claustrophobic in elevators, so I’ve started taking steps to avoid it.

Tennis players have a hard time with relationships because love means nothing to them.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter!
A rubber band slingshot was confiscated in an algebra class for being a weapon of math disruption.

What’s the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
The thing about shopping centres is that once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen a mall.
My housemate told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went out and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse replied, “No change yet.”

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If you fancy some more laughs, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

Thank you.

27 corny but funny puns to raise a smile or two

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