50 funny birthday wishes for friends’ cards and gifts

Funny-birthday-wishes-for-friendsDear reader, are you looking for some ideas for witty and funny birthday wishes for friends’ cards and gifts?

Well here are 50 suggestions that might just amuse you, as well as help you produce a memorable gem to tease your best friend on his or her birthday card.

Enjoy them all.

Funny birthday wishes for friends (1-25):

  1. Birthdays are just nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake.
  2. May your hair dye and mascara never run! Happy Birthday, old girl!
  3. I’m not obsessed with age but I really can’t believe how old you are.
  4. Age is just a number. In your case, a very large number, dear friend.
  5. You’re as old as you are dear to me. And you’re very, very dear to me.
  6. The mirror doesn’t lie, and at your age, you’re lucky it doesn’t laugh either.
  7. Dearest friend, I hope you get 100 birthday cards today! To match your age!
  8. I wouldn’t say you’re old but even Keith Richards looks younger than you.
  9. Happy Birthday, friend! Age is not a big deal. Not to me but then I’m still young.
  10. Best wishes to a dear friend, who can tell me when bread was only five cents a loaf.
  11. Your birthday only comes once a year but the wrinkles it brings will last a lifetime.
  12. When you’re as old as you, there’s always cosmetic surgery. It’ll be a big job though.
  13. Looking at you fills me with hope, that one day I might live to be as old as you are today.
  14. Best wishes to a woman who’s been thirty for more years than either of us can remember.
  15. You’re as old as you feel, and I’m guessing you’re feeling very, very old today. Happy Birthday!
  16. You’re how old? OMG, that’s dead in doggy years! Be glad you’re not a dog. Happy Birthday!
  17. Today, girl, there are things we can all marvel at. Like the length of time that you’ve been on this planet. Truly amazing!
  18. I looked at today’s date and I realized it was your birthday, dearest friend! Then I thought about the year you were born! I’m surprised you’re still mobile and have all your own teeth.
  19. Today, dearest friend, you have made me so grateful for something … that I’m not as old as you!
  20. Before there were maps, people used the stars to guide them. I’d love to hear your stories about the challenges of getting around when you were young. Happy Birthday!
  21. Dearest friend, it’s so special to know someone who was around when the pyramids were being built. Happy Birthday!
  22. As the years’ pass, you might ache a little more. But that’s only because you’re getting old! Happy Birthday.
  23. As your friend, I’m here to remind you of things that are important in life. Like ‘Are you sure you’re putting away enough money for your retirement?’
  24. Dearest friend, remember you should count your blessings, not your years. Well, you don’t really have enough time left to count all your years!
  25. I know you’re downhearted about your age this year but worry not. Your best mate will be there to help you blow out all the candles on your cake, so you can feel like a kid again!

Funny birthday wishes for friends (26-50):

  1. I wouldn’t call you ancient, but it’s a privilege to know someone who was involved with the construction of Stonehenge! Happy Birthday!
  2. Happy Birthday to the woman who has it all! Hearing loss, cataracts, hypertension, back pain and osteoarthritis to name but a few. Still, it’s your birthday, so enjoy!
  3. You’re a woman whose very presence makes others happy. Thanks for reminding us that we’re not as old as you. Happy Birthday!
  4. Sometimes, I feel like you’ve been around forever! That’s probably because you have! Happy Birthday!
  5. As someone who’s been around since before the age of electricity, you’ve kept yourself in good shape. Well, round is still a shape. Happy Birthday!
  6. Everyone thinks you’re really young, dearest friend, but only because you lie about your age. Happy Birthday!
  7. Here’s to the years that you’ve been alive, there’s been so many yet you still survive. Incredible, when you think about it.
  8. On your birthday, people often will tell you that you’re still a young man. Don’t believe them, they’re liars!
  9. Don’t think of yourself as old today. You just have a lot more experience of life than most people.
  10. Your beard is grey and your hairline’s disappeared below the horizon but, on the upside, there’ll be cake today.
  11. May your birthday be filled with joy and a glass or two of wine. Well, if there’s wine I’m sure that’ll be good enough
  12. Best wishes to a woman who thinks she’s still young but isn’t. However your embrace of delusion is impressive.
  13. Facing another birthday, you might fear becoming an old man. Well, you needn’t worry because you’ve been an old man for years now.
  14. Happy Birthday to a man who has witnessed first-hand so many great things! Like the invention of the steam engine.
  15. I was going to make a joke about your age, but that would be a bit cruel, wouldn’t it? Happy Birthday!
  16. They say memory fades as you get older. So, I’m guessing now you probably don’t remember life as it was when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
  17. Honey, today on your birthday you don’t need to lift a finger. Don’t worry about the messy house or the dishes. I don’t mind. You can deal with them tomorrow. Happy Birthday!
  18. You never seem to age, so let me remind you how old you really are: you’re old enough to drink, young enough to get pregnant, and just the right age to make something of yourself. So by all means, hurry up before it’s too late! Oh, and many happy returns.
  19. I’d have put candles on your cake but there would have been so many that the carbon footprint would have breached the UNFCCC Paris Climate Accord.
  20. 40’s the old age of youth and 50’s the youth of old age. However, I’ve no idea what your age represents.
  21. Happy Birthday to you. I hope you enjoy your day as much as I’ll enjoy eating free cake and ice cream.
  22. I’m not saying you’re old but the songs on your iPhone are too old even for the GOLDEN OLDIES station to play.
  23. Happy Birthday to someone who’s getting more valuable and better with age. Oh wait-a-minute, that’s wine. Happy Birthday to someone who’s just getting old!
  24. I know you’re not thirty, flirty and thriving but hey, you’re still driving! That’s not bad for someone of your age.
  25. Happy Birthday to someone good looking, smart, charismatic, and charming. No hang on a minute, I meant from someone good looking, smart, charismatic, and charming.

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