30 short funny quotes that will make you smile

If you love short funny quotes then I’ve found a few you should enjoy. See how many of these you can work into your day.

Here are 30 short funny quotes I’ve curated for you, dear reader, and all of them will raise a smile. They certainly made me smile.

Enjoy them all.

And please, feel free to pass them on.

Short funny quotes (1-10):

1. My life needs editing.
2. He who laughs last didn’t get it.
3. When nothing goes right, go left.
4. Life’s hard. After all, it kills you.
5. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
6. If I gave you the finger, you earned it.
7. What’s another word for Thesaurus?
8. I wish my wallet came with free refills.
9. If you think I’m short, try testing my patience.
10. Progress is man’s ability to complicate simplicity.

Short funny quotes (11-20):

11. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
12. If Cinderella’s shoe fitted perfectly, why did it fall off?
13. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
14. I don’t run away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
15. Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.
16. I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.
17. If you’re hotter than me, that means I’m cooler than you.
18. Of course, I wouldn’t die for my beliefs, I might be wrong.
19. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app they’ll start using it.
20. If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the refrigerator?

Short funny quotes (21-30):

21. Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.
22. Why would I want to join any club that would have me as a member?
23. Silence is golden unless you have kids, then it’s just plain suspicious.
24. Life’s problem is that all the best things are illegal, immoral or fattening.
25. They said “Don’t try this at home,” so I came over to your house to try it.
26. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so that I could slap eight people at once.
27. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.
28. My goal this weekend is to move just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.
29. Just because the things I said were mean, doesn’t mean they weren’t accurate.
30. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

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