Today, I’ve curated some of the best puns ever. Well, I think so.
I love wordplay, especially that form of wordplay that exploits multiple meanings of words for humorous effect.
I think clever puns are brilliant, which is why I’ve been searching the Internet for some of the best ones.
Here are 21 of the best puns I’ve found, so let me know what you think.
As always, when searching the net for wit and wisdom, it’s difficult to confirm the original author. Should you be one of them, dear reader, then please let me know. That way, I can give you full credit for your brilliance.
Best puns ever:
- How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
- I hate peer pressure, and you should too.
- Ladies, if he doesn’t appreciate your fruit jokes, let that mango.
- I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a sh** in days.
- I’m a born pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
- My new girlfriend works at the Zoo. I think she’s a keeper.
- A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where’s the bartender?”
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
- I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
- I’ve decided to sell my Hoover. Well, it’s just gathering dust.
- What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went downhill fast.
- The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
- A cop knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes, but my dogs don’t even own bikes.
- I found a rock yesterday that measured 1760 yards in length. That must be a milestone.
- To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing.
- This morning, some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself that’s a nice Jester.
- Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence.
- I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda, then I realised it was just a Fanta sea.
- A wife shouted to her husband that moose were falling from the sky. No, it’s just reindeer, he responded.
- A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I realised that toucan play that game.
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