If you’re looking for some what’s the difference between jokes, dear reader, then I can offer you 50 today that I’m sure will raise a laugh or two.
Give people a laugh and they’ll forget about their worries, at least for a while. That’s my philosophy.
Whether you’re at your local bar trying to break the ice with some new friends or at a family gathering trying to make your notoriously hard-to-impress uncle chuckle, these jokes are sure to be a hit. Well, I think so, anyway.
So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and prepare for an onslaught of comedic genius. Well, at the very least, a few groans.
Let’s get this laughter show on the road then, shall we? Brace yourselves, it might just be a wild ride!
What’s the difference between jokes (1-10):
- What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
- What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a well-dressed man on a tricycle? Attire!
- What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, whack, “Darn!” A bad skydiver goes, “Darn!” whack.
- What’s the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You can’t dunk an elephant in your tea.
- What’s the difference between a teacher and a railroad guard? One trains the mind, and the other minds the train.
- What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
- What’s the difference between a Zippo and a hippo? One is heavy, the other is a little lighter.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
- What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
- What’s the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What’s the difference between jokes (11-20):
- What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
- What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
- What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
- What’s the difference between a tick and a politician? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other is a tiny insect.
- What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
- What’s the difference between a thief and a peeping Tom? One snatches your watch, and the other watches your snatch.
- What’s the difference between a unicorn and a carrot? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
- What’s the difference between a comet and a cat? One has a tail that’s blazing, and the other’s tail is for chasing.
- What’s the difference between a banker and a vampire? One sucks your blood, and the other your wallet.
- What’s the difference between a poker player and a skydiver? One takes a chance when he goes all in, and the other when he jumps all out.
What’s the difference between jokes (21-30):
- What’s the difference between a chef and a dog? One wears pants and the other just pants.
- What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing!
- What’s the difference between a frog and a cat? A frog croaks all the time, and a cat only nine times.
- What’s the difference between a schoolteacher and a steam train? The teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the train says “Choo Choo!”
- What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father? One’s a pop fly and the other’s a fly pop.
- What’s the difference between a baseball player and a dirty puppy? One runs home after sliding into base, and the other slides into home after running in the dirt.
- What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
- What’s the difference between a circus and a brothel? At the circus, you have a cunning array of stunts.
- What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
- What’s the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student? One baits his hooks, and the other hates his books.
What’s the difference between jokes (31-40):
- What’s the difference between a robber and a politician? The robber steals your money and then runs. The politician runs and then steals your money.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
- What’s the difference between an elephant and a grape? Grapes are purple.
- What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can’t hear an enzyme.
- What’s the difference between an onion and an accordion? No one sheds a tear when you chop up an accordion.
- What’s the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and the other watches cells.
- What’s the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist only takes the skin.
- What’s the difference between a gambler and a skydiver? A gambler risks going broke, and a skydiver risks going splat.
- What’s the difference between a mathematician and an accountant? An accountant would say that 1+1=2. A mathematician would need to prove it.
- What’s the difference between a casino and a church? In a casino, you really mean it when you pray.
What’s the difference between jokes (41-50):
- What’s the difference between a pun and a dad joke? One just leaves you groaning, and the other leaves you groaning and slightly disappointed.
- What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
- What’s the difference between a computer salesman and a used car salesman? The used car salesman knows when he’s lying.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.
- What’s the difference between a magician and a politician? One performs tricks and the other just tricks.
- What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer doesn’t need a parachute.
- What’s the difference between a politician and a snail? One is a slimy pest, and the other is a snail.
- What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
- What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear, and the other’s a very good year.
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If any of these what’s the difference between jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media.
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