22 Funny Winston Churchill Quotes

If you’re looking for some funny Winston Churchill quotes then you’ve come to the right place, dear reader.

Today I’ve curated 22 little gems that might just make you smile.

Churchill was of course a British statesman and writer, famous wartime leader, and twice Prime Minster of the United Kingdom. Above all, he was a man with a memorable turn of phrase, whatever the occasion.

Anyway, take a few moments to enjoy all of these excellent quotes.

And then, please feel free to pass them on.

Funny Winston Churchill Quotes (1-11):

I am easily satisfied with the very best.
Don’t interrupt me while I’m interrupting.
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.
A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.
Personally, I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

Funny Winston Churchill Quotes (12-22):

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.

Show me a young Conservative and I’ll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I’ll show you someone with no brains.
If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time—a tremendous whack.
Everyone is in favour of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people’s idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone else says anything back, that is an outrage.

Lady Astor: “Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Winston Churchill: “Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.”

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