Here are 30 clever one-liners you’ll just love. They’re all sharp and witty and guaranteed to amuse you. Take a minute to enjoy them all.
And don’t forget to pass them on too.
Clever one-liners (1-15):
- I can handle pain until it hurts.
- I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
- Life is just a sexually transmitted disease.
- I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
- Only our parents’ children are always right.
- It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
- No, I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode.
- If you see a toilet in your dream, do not use it.
- It’s only funny when it’s not happening to you.
- Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.
- How could I miss you when you won’t go away?
- Nothing is truly lost until your mom can’t find it.
- What happens if I get scared half to death twice?
- The light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.
- How come creditors always have better memories than debtors?
Clever one-liners (16-30):
- I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.
- A lottery is just a tax on people who don’t understand math.
- Life would be so much better if we could mute some people.
- When I need an expert’s advice, I stand in front of the mirror.
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge. Some only gargle.
- If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
- Some people lose their tempers just from seeing you keep yours.
- Did the first person to hear a parrot speak need therapy afterwards?
- There is a solution for when your hair starts falling out. Put it in a box.
- Don’t you get tired of having to look after your parents’ grandchildren?
- Drinking coffee before you start work helps your co-workers live longer.
- Don’t you just hate how spiders sit there on your wall and act like they pay rent?
- I’m not looking for a stable relationship, I’ll settle for a stable internet connection.
- If a man speaks in a forest and there are no women there to hear him, is he still wrong?
- People always say they don’t believe in ghosts until they hear a strange noise in the middle of the night.
Please share this post:
So dear reader, was this post amusing and worth a few minutes?
If any of these clever one-liners made you smile then please share this post with your friends on social media.
When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.
Put a smile on someone else’s face and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.
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Thank you for your support.
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