15 Quotes by Milton Berle that are sharp and funny

Today I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the many amusing quotes by Milton Berle.

Sadly, he’s no longer with us, but Milton Berle was a comedian and actor from the golden age of American television.

He’s generally regarded as the first major American television star, and he was known to millions as Uncle Miltie and Mr Television.

Younger readers probably won’t remember him, or possibly even heard of him, but he was funny and very sharp.

To prove the point, here are 15 quotes by Milton Berle.

Quotes by Milton Berle

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

They’ve finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s sixth husband. I know what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t know how to make it interesting.

Experience is what you have after you’ve forgotten her name.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.

My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine.

The problem with life is that by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

It’s rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

A man falls down a flight of stairs, and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!

This man’s wife told him, “For Christmas, surprise me.” On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, “Boo!”

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