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21 Quotes by Jay Leno that are quite amusing

05/22/2024 by

Funnyman Jay Leno is one of American television’s biggest personalities and he is recognised as a major star around the world.

Born James Douglas Muir Leno in New Rochelle, New York, he’s a comedian, actor, writer and producer, as well as a television host best known for his years hosting The Tonight Show with Jay Leno from 1992–2009.

Quick with a joke or a funny quip he always made me smile. So today I thought I’d explore some of his wit and wisdom.

And let’s face it wisdom is always at the heart of every witty quote.

So here are 21 quotes by Jay Leno to brighten your day.

Quotes by Jay Leno (1-11):

  1. Politics is just show business for ugly people.
  2. You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you.
  3. You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
  4. The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it.
  5. If I have one advantage, it’s that I will try to work harder than the next guy.
  6. People don’t mind if you have a lot of money if they know you’re working for it.
  7. In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we’re doing anonymously.
  8. Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
  9. New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
  10. The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
  11. I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you’re not the best, so you should work a little harder.

Quotes by Jay Leno (12-21):

  1. If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
  2. Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.
  3. The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
  4. For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn’t that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you’re average – hey, let’s get a pizza!
  5. Magic Johnson, a former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good ole days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers?
  6. Nineteen per cent of doctors say that they’d be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.
  7. The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don’t want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they’ll just be known as the Bullets.
  8. I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, ‘I’d like some fries.’ The girl at the counter said, ‘Would you like some fries with that?’ 
  9. The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
  10. The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it – they’re the ones falling down the most.

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