The secret to happiness that everyone should know

05/11/2024 by

If you’re reading this blog post, dear reader, perhaps you’ve been searching for the secret to happiness. If you have, you’re not alone. Many people search, but few find real happiness.

However, if happiness is what you seek, allow me to enlighten you.

Money’s not the answer:

When you hear news of someone winning big on a lottery, do you ever think that you’d be so much happier if only you could win big too? You’d be happy, if only you had a lot of money, right?

Certainly, having money can make life comfortable. There’s no question about that. And who wouldn’t want to be comfortable?

Having money can allow you to do all sorts of things you couldn’t do otherwise. Live in a nice house; wear the finest clothes; drive a nice car; and travel first class to exotic places.

However, there’s one thing that money cannot do for you. It cannot make you happy. It’s a fact that having a lot of money by itself can never make you happy. There are plenty of very wealthy people who are miserable.

Happiness is a state of mind:

It is also a fact that if you aren’t happy without money, then suddenly gaining a lot of money will not change the way you feel. If anything, its impact on your life will probably make you even less happy.

Happiness is a state of mind. It’s the capacity to appreciate life for what it is and not what you think you’d like it to be. It’s being content with what you have, whatever that is.

Happiness is a positive mental attitude, a willingness to see the good side of every situation, regardless of how bad it might be in reality, a determination to enjoy the moment, and being comfortable in your own skin.

Work towards creating your pot of gold, by all means, dear reader, but in doing so, never lose sight of what matters most.

The period of human life is short, and it goes by in the blink of an eye.

Yesterday has gone, and you may never know tomorrow. The here and now are the only certainties you have.

This moment is your life, so you must find a way to enjoy every moment. Get the most out of them all. For, as we say, where I come from, you’ll be a long time dead.

The secret to happiness:

Enjoy simple, inexpensive pleasures like having a laugh or a coffee with a friend. That’s when you’ll be happiest. That’s how memories are made, too.

Accept that your life will be full of challenges, which is what makes it all interesting.

And recognise that by having to respond to challenges, you are growing as a person. So it makes sense to respond to every challenge with enthusiasm because you can only win, ultimately. Either you’ll succeed, or you’ll learn a lesson.

And remember this too: as your life passes, you won’t remember those expensive shoes you bought or the latest gadget, but you will remember the experiences you had with the people who mattered most to you.

Enjoy life for what it is and don’t fret about what it isn’t. The secret to happiness is contentment.

If you can be happy without money, then having money will be a bonus.

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How to deal with criticism in the workplace

11/04/2023 by

HOW TO DEAL WITH CRITICISM IN THE WORKPLACEHave you ever had a problem dealing with criticism in the workplace, dear reader?

If you have, you’re not alone.

Most of us can be a little sensitive when we’re criticized by other people, particularly in the workplace. That’s natural, and I struggle with it just as much as the next person.

However, over the years, I’ve learned that criticism comes in two types, as follows:

  1. Constructive criticism; and
  2. Destructive criticism

What’s the difference?

People who offer constructive criticism are genuinely trying to help, even if that isn’t immediately obvious.

However, just because they’re trying to help doesn’t necessarily mean they’re right about what they’re saying. I’ll get back to that point shortly.

When you’re subjected to destructive criticism, then someone is just having a go at you. To hurt you, for whatever reason.

That may be to bolster their own ego, or they may not like you very much and so can’t resist the temptation to belittle you or just generally make you feel uncomfortable.

Remember, there are people who get off on other people’s discomfort and so like to have a go at people when the opportunity arises. These are the haters and the trolls. They exist in the workplace, as well as on social media.

How to deal with constructive criticism:

When you’re on the receiving end of criticism, don’t take any of it personally. Remember, you’re bigger than that.

Just remain calm; listen to what’s being said; consider the person saying it; and, of course, the rationale behind their comment.

As you absorb what has been said to you, ask yourself this question “Is this person being constructive or destructive?”

If you feel they’re being constructive in offering their comment, then the next question to ask yourself is, “Do they have a fair point?”

In answering that question, you must be honest with yourself.

Remember, it’s a sign of maturity when you can acknowledge your inexperience and mistakes.

And you can’t learn from your mistakes unless you recognize them first.

So if, after careful reflection, you feel that they do have a fair point, then take it on board and use it as a learning opportunity.

At this point, thank your critic for the feedback and decide how you might use it to improve and be better at what you do.

You might even ask your critic for suggestions if you think they can help you.

Even constructive critics are not always right:

Not every self-appointed critic has a universal monopoly on know-how and common sense, however well-intentioned they may be. Even so-called experts get stuff wrong occasionally.

So in reflecting on any constructive criticism offered, your conclusion might be that they don’t have a fair point. And as long as you’re being honest with yourself, it’s perfectly reasonable to say, “You know what? I think they’re wrong.”

If that’s the case, then be polite, thank them for their feedback, and agree to disagree if necessary.

Accept that they offered their comment in good faith and that their intentions were honourable, but just move on without any sense of feeling hurt just because someone had the temerity to question your approach.

They’re entitled to their opinion, but you don’t have to accept it.

How to deal with destructive criticism:

If someone is attempting to be destructive in their criticism, then don’t rise to the bait. Just smile politely and move on.

Do not give anyone the satisfaction of a reaction or signs that they’ve gotten to you. That’s the oxygen on which they feed. It’s the dopamine hit they crave.

You’re better than that, so don’t allow yourself to get drawn into their game. They’re unworthy of a reaction or any of your emotional energy.

And never allow such people to chip away at your self-esteem.

That’s what they’re trying to do, so know that, and as you’re smiling, just say to yourself, “I’m better than you, and your attempt to have a go at me won’t get you anywhere. So stop wasting your time and mine.“

Conclusion:

Recognize that criticism has two forms. Either way, never take any of it personally, even if you suspect your critic is being personal.

If your critic is being constructive, then be honest with yourself and question whether your critic has a point. If they do have a point, then you must learn from it.

If your critic is being destructive, then do not give them the satisfaction of a reaction. Just smile and move on.

If you’re not sure whether they’re being constructive or destructive, then give them the benefit of the doubt, assume they’re being constructive, and act accordingly.

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So please share it now.

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The importance of friends to our lives

07/04/2023 by

FriendsFriends are the family you choose. ~Jess C. Scott

Dear reader, were you a fan of that wonderful American, television sitcom Friends? Wouldn’t it have been great to share their company and all the fun they had in Central Perk?

For me that show highlighted the important role that our friends play in our lives.

It is a fact that we don’t get to choose our family but the good news is that we do get to choose our friends.

Friendship is a relationship of equals. A good friendship has a power dynamic that’s always in equilibrium.

Friends are the people whose company we enjoy; people with whom we feel a real sense of connection and with whom we share common interests. They are also people we’d be willing to go out of our way to help if we thought they were in trouble.

Family and loyalty go together of course. You can’t really have one without the other. And a relative can be a friend too, of course. As were Ross and Monica in Friends, for instance.

However just because you’re related to someone doesn’t mean you’ll like them or that they’ll like you. Being related is no guarantee you’ll enjoy their company.

Friends are different; friends are special.

If you have a small number of really close friends then you’re very lucky indeed.

Appreciate your friends because they’re the people that make life worth living. They’re the people that add a sparkle to a life that could otherwise be quite dull.

Poem about friendship:

If this blog post has caught your imagination, you might like to read this original poem, Friendship.

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Thank you for your support.

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