Christmas Cracker Jokes: 30 silly ones, so bad they’re funny

Dear reader, do you enjoy Christmas cracker jokes?

Those corny jokes and puns you look for, having pulled your Christmas cracker?

Well, I cannot lie; I love them.

So, I have collected 30 of the best ones, which I hope you will find amusing.

Whether Christmas is an occasion you will be celebrating or not, I do hope one or two of these silly jokes will make you smile.

Enjoy them all.

And please feel free to share them.

Christmas cracker jokes (1-15):

What is white and minty? A polo bear!

When is a boat just like snow? When it’s adrift.
What goes Ho, Ho, Ho, thump? Santa laughing his head off.
How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle!

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph!
What did Santa say to his wife? It’s going to reindeer!
Why did Santa go to the doctor? Because of his bad elf.

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsilitis!
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!
What does Miley Cyrus prefer for Christmas dinner? Twerky!

What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate Clauses!
What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”
What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker!

Christmas cracker jokes (16-30):

Why did Santa’s little helper lack confidence? Because he had low elf esteem!

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus!
What do you call Santa when he forgets to wear his underpants? Saint Knickerless!
Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off!

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!

Why was the snowman rummaging in a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party? Because he had nobody to go with!

What do you get when you cross a pine cone and a polar bear? A fur tree!
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh-in a manger!

What did Mrs Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up at the sky on the night of Christmas Eve? Looks like rain, dear!
Why did Santa say that sprouts shouldn’t be our vegetable of choice on Christmas Day? All he was sayin’ was give peas a chance!

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If you enjoyed this article, then please share it with your friends on social media.

People really do enjoy groaning at Christmas cracker jokes, so go on, please share this post now.

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Thank you.

And before I go, allow me to offer my best wishes to everyone who will be celebrating Christmas later this month. I hope your Christmas is filled with the love of family and friends.

And to those for whom December 25th will be just another working day, I hope wherever you are, your life is peaceful, safe, and prosperous, and I hope 2024 proves to be all you’d like it to be.

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Christmas Cracker Jokes: 30 silly ones, so bad they’re funny

Christmas cracker jokes (1-15):

Christmas cracker jokes (16-30):

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