UBilly Connolly waziwa yizigidi zabantu emhlabeni wonke njengosomahlaya ongahloniphi onobuhlakani obubukhali kanye nomlandisi wezindaba ovelele.
Evame ukwaziwa ngothando ngokuthi i-Big Yin, umnikelo wakhe kwezokuzijabulisa ezidumile, ikakhulukazi eBrithani, ube mkhulu kakhulu eminyakeni engama-40 edlule.
Waqala ukusebenza njengomshiseli ezindaweni zokukhiqiza imikhumbi eGlasgow wabe eseqhubeka nomsebenzi wokuba ngumculi wesintu, ekuqaleni noGerry Rafferty wabe eseba ngumculi ozimele.
Ngalokho, kancane kancane wathola ubizo lwakhe lwemvelo, okwakuwukusenza sonke sihleke futhi sijabule. Futhi kulokhu, uyaphumelela.
Ngomsebenzi wakhe njengosomahlaya, uye wandisa isikhalo sakhe esithandwayo ngokulingisa nokwethula. Ngokubona impumelelo yakhe kanye nomsebenzi wakhe wokupha, manje usenguSir William Connolly, we-CBE ngokusemthethweni.
UBilly Connolly uyisibonelo esihle kakhulu somuntu ophumelele kakhulu ngokuthola into ayijabulelayo futhi ayenza kahle kakhulu.
Ngakho-ke namuhla, mfundi othandekayo, ngikunikeza ama-one-liners angu-15 ahlekisayo kakhulu kaBilly Connolly ukuze ngikukhumbuze ukuthi uhlakaniphe kangakanani. Zijabulele zonke.
Ama-one-liners ahlekisayo kaBilly Connolly:
- Ungalokothi uthembele indoda ethi uma ishiywe yodwa ekamelweni elinetiye elipholile, ingazami. ~UBilly Connolly
- Umshado uyisiqalo esihle. Bese futhi, kanjalo nekhithi yokulungisa amabhayisikili. ~UBilly Connolly
- Incazelo yami yongqondongqondo umuntu ongalalela i-William Tell Overture ngaphandle kokucabanga ngeLone Ranger. ~UBilly Connolly
- Ubani owathola ukuthi singaluthola ubisi ezinkomeni, futhi wayecabanga ukuthi wayenzani ngaleso sikhathi? ~UBilly Connolly
- Bengilokhu ngifuna ukuya eSwitzerland ngiyobona ukuthi ibutho lenzani ngaleyo mibese ebomvu. ~UBilly Connolly
- Angazi ukuthi kungani kufanele ngifunde i-algebra. Ngeke ngikwazi ukuya lapho. ~UBilly Connolly
- Uma uJesu wayengumJuda, kwenzeka kanjani ukuba abe negama lokuqala laseMexico? ~UBilly Connolly
- Abantu abaningi bathi wukuswelakala kwamagama okwenza uthuke. Udoti. Ngazi izinkulungwane zamagama, kodwa ngisancamela i-f***. ~UBilly Connolly
- Okuhlale kungididizela wukuthi uma abantu beshaya amakhala, bahlezi bebheka ama-hanki ukuze babone okuphumayo. Yini abalindele ukuyithola? ~UBilly Connolly
- Uma abantu bethi, 'Kuhlala kuyindawo yokugcina lapho ubheka khona,”. Yebo kunjalo. Kungani ungaqhubeka nokubheka ukuthi usuyitholile? ~UBilly Connolly
- Lapho okuthile 'kusha futhi kuthuthukisiwe!' iyiphi? Uma kusha, akukaze kube khona lutho ngaphambi kwayo. Uma kuyintuthuko, khona-ke kufanele kube khona okuthile ngaphambi kwayo. ~UBilly Connolly
- Kungani abantu bethi, 'O, ufuna ukudla ikhekhe lakho futhi ulidle?' Kufa kwesokudla! Lisizani ikhekhe uma ungakwazi ukulidla? ~UBilly Connolly
- Inyoni esandleni ihlale i-sh*** engalweni yakho. ~UBilly Connolly
- Uma ulinde ibhasi bese othile ebuza, 'Ingabe ibhasi lisafikile?' Uma ibhasi ingafika, ngabe ngimi lapha? ~UBilly Connolly
- Iseluleko sami kuwe uma ufuna ukuncipha kancane: ungadli noma yini efika ngebhakede. Amabhakede ayizitsha zasekhishini zasepulazini. ~UBilly Connolly
Sicela wabelane ngalokhu okuthunyelwe nabangani bakho:
Ingabe lawa ma-one-liners ahlekisayo avela kuBilly Connolly akwenza wamomotheka?
Ngithemba kanjalo. Nokho, uzoba nokuhleka okuningi uma uchofoza izixhumanisi ezingezansi.
Futhi uma ukujabulele okufundile, sicela wabelane ngakho konke nabangani bakho ezinkundleni zokuxhumana.
Uma wabelana, wonke umuntu uyawina.
Kuhlale kuwumqondo omuhle ukudlulisa ukumamatheka.
Uma ungabelana ngakho manje, ngingahlala ngibonga. Uzobe usiza i-wannabe blogger ukuthi ifinyelele izethameli eziningi.
Ukwesekwa kwakho kuyancomeka mfundi othandekayo. Ngiyabonga.
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