Ama-one liners angu-25 ahlakaniphile azokwenza umomotheke

Uma ufana nami, mfundi othandekayo, uzothanda ama-smart one liners. Ngihlala ngiwaqoqa encwadini yami yezindaba.

Namuhla, ngicabange ukuthi ngizokwabelana nani ngezinye zezintandokazi engizitholile muva nje.

Ngikuthole konke kuhlekisa, futhi ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi nawe uzokujabulela.

Sicela wabelane ngazo nabangani bakho, kodwa hhayi kuze kube yilapho usuthole ithuba lokuhleka.

Ama-liners ahlakaniphile:

1. Ngingathanda ukuqala ngamahlaya kashimula. Nginenqwaba yazo. Eyokuqala isendlini. ~Tim Vine
2. Izimpawu zokuphuma? Basendleleni yokuphuma! ~Tim Vine
3. Ngiyakuzonda ukuhlala esiminyaminya ngoba ngihlezi ngigilwa. ~Milton Jones
4. I-Conjunctivitis.com: Leyo yindawo yamehlo abuhlungu. ~Tim Vine
5. Ama-Hedgehogs: Kungani bengakwazi nje ukwabelana ngothango? ~UDan Antolpolski
6. Isinqumo sami sikaNcibijane siwukuba ngisesimweni. Ngikhetha nxazonke. ~Sarah Millican
7. Umsebenzi onzima kunawo wonke engake ngaba nawo? Ukuthengisa iminyango, indlu ngendlu. ~UBill Bailey
8. Ngine-kleptomania. Kodwa uma kuba kubi, ngithatha okuthile ngakho. ~Ken Dodd
9. Ngivame ukuhlangana nentombi yami ngo-12:59 ngoba ngithanda lokho ngesikhathi esisodwa. ~UTom Ward
10. Umkhulu wami wasungula ibhaluni lomoya obandayo. Ayizange isuke ngempela. ~Milton Jones
11. Umakhelwane wami wakwamakhelwane ukhonza amapayipi okukhipha umoya. Ungumguquli wekhatholika. ~Tim Vine
12. Isikhathi esingcono kakhulu sokwengeza inhlamba ekulimaleni yilapho usayina abalingisi bothile. ~Demetri Martin
13. Ngahamba ngayothenga ibhulukwe lokufihla ikhanda ngolunye usuku, kodwa angizange ngilithole. ~UTommy Cooper
14. Ngiphuphe izolo ebusuku ngisika izaqathi ngeGrim Reaper. Ukuphila nokufa. ~Tim Vine
15. Kunzima ukusho ukuthi abantu banentshisekelo yokujoyina i-Sarcastic Club yami noma cha. ~Milton Jones
16. Umshini wokuhlanganisa usimende ushayisane neveni yasejele. Kucelwa abashayeli bezimoto ukuthi baqaphe izigebengu ezingu-16 eziqinile. ~UPeter Kay
17. I-pollen count, manje lowo umsebenzi onzima; ikakhulukazi uma une-hayfever. ~Milton Jones
18. I-Helvetica ne-Times New Roman zingene endaweni yokucima ukoma. “Asilunikezi uhlobo lwakho!” Kusho ubhari. ~Umbhali akaziwa
19. Uyasazi isilwane esibulala abantu abaningi emhlabeni? I-Hepatitis Bee. ~Milton Jones
20. Ngangidinga iphasiwedi enezinhlamvu eziyisishiyagalombili ubude, ngakho-ke ngakhetha i-Snow White kanye ne-Seven Dwarves. ~Nick Helm
21. Le nsizwa yathi kimi: 'Ngizokuhlasela ngentamo yesiginci.' Ngathi: 'Ingabe lokho kuyakhathaza?' ~Tim Vine
22. Izinkawu ezimbili zazingena ebhavini. Omunye wathi: 'Oo, oo, aah.' Omunye waphendula: 'Faka amakhaza ke.' - Harry Hill
23. Bengidlala i-chess nomngane wami, wathi, 'Masenze lokhu kube mnandi'. Ngakho sayeka ukudlala i-chess. ~Matt Kirshen
24. Izinhlanzi ezimbili zihlezi ethangini. Omunye ubheka omunye bese ethi: "Hey, uyazi ukuthi ungayishayela kanjani le nto?" ~Umbhali akaziwa
25. Ngabona lo mlungu exoxa nengulule. Ngacabanga: 'Uzama ukudonsa okusheshayo.' ~Tim Vine

Sicela wabelane ngalokhu okuthunyelwe nabangani bakho:

Uma ukujabulele lokhu okuthunyelwe, mfundi othandekayo, sicela wabelane ngakho nabangane bakho ezinkundleni zokuxhumana.

Uma wabelana, wonke umuntu uyawina.

Ngakho sicela wabelane ngakho manje. Uma ungangenzela lokho, ngingahlala ngibonga kakhulu. Uzobe usiza i-blogger ekhuthele ukuthi ifinyelele izethameli eziningi. Ngakho lokho kungaba isenzo sakho esihle sosuku.

Uma uthanda ukuhleka okuthile, bese uchofoza izixhumanisi ezingezansi. Uzothola inala yokukwenza umomotheke.

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