Roy Sutton

32 ane njere, majee eimwe-liner pamusoro pekuchembera kuti unyemwerere

09/05/2026 by Roy Sutton

Kutsvaga mamwe majee nezvekuchembera, muverengi anodiwa? Zvakanaka, nhasi ndinogona kukupa makumi matatu nemaviri awo.

Ungave uri mudiki kana mukuru, ndine chokwadi chekuti uchakwanisa kuenderana nevashoma vavo.

Ndinovimba kuti muchanakidzwa nazvo zvese, uye ndinovimba zvichakufadzai. Zvirokwazvo, zvese zvakandifadza.

Uye yeuka izvi: tese tinokura, asi kukwegura ipfungwa, kupfuura chero chimwe chinhu. Haufanire kubvumira murume kana mukadzi kuti apinde.

Zvisinei, tora nguva shoma kuti uverenge ose uye wobva waapfuudza.

Majee okuchembera:

Kukura kwandinoita, ndiko kunotanga kunonoka.

Vakadzi havawanzobvuma zera ravo; varume havawanzozviita.

Ndachembera zvekuti mota yangu yekutanga yaive ngoro yakavharwa.

Ko sei vanhu vese vezera rangu vachiita sevakuru kwandiri?

Ndava pazera rekuti handichakwanisi kuita zvinhu zvese zvandinovenga.

Murume akachenjera anorangarira zuva rokuzvarwa romukadzi asi haarangariri zera rake.

Ndakura zvekuti, ndichiri kuyeuka kuti ma emoji ainzi hieroglyphics.

Kugara uchirara kunodzivirira kuchembera, kunyanya kana ukatorwa uchityaira.

Kuchembera zvine nyasha inzira ine ruremekedzo yekutaura kuti uri kutarisika zvishoma nezvishoma.

Unoziva kuti wakura kana kudya kunze zvichireva kubata chikafu chemangwanani.

Takanga tiri varombo pakukura taingokwanisa kuteerera Simon kana Garfunkel.

Iwe unoziva kuti wakura kana vanhu vachifona na9 pm vachibvunza, "Ndakakumutsa here?"

Ndinotenda mukuvimbika. Saka, pandakasvika pazera rakati, ndakasarudza kuramba ndiriko.

Mukadzi wangu haana maturo, anotobhadhara mari yakakwana pane kubvuma kuti munhu mukuru.

Ndinoda kutaura kuti ndiri kuchembera sewaini yakanaka, asi kwandiri, yakada kufanana nebhanana rakanaka.

Ndinoda vakadzi vakuru nekuti vajaira kuodza moyo, saka vakagadzirira ini.

Paunenge wakura, kuita rombo rakanaka kupinda mukamuri uye uchirangarira chaizvo nei uripo.

Kuchembera ndipo apo vaunodzidza navo vachena, vakaunyana, uye vane mhanza zvekuti havachakuzivi.

Kana riri zuva rako rekuzvarwa nhasi, unofanira kuzvikorokotedza. Kunyanya kana uchiri kukwanisa kuzvirangarira.

Kukura kwandinoita, ndiko kuwedzera kwandinoita zvitendero zvine musoro. Unoziva here kuti zvakaoma sei kuita shamwari wakura?

Iwe unoziva uri kuchembera kana uine mamwe makenduru pakeke rako kupfuura shamwari pabiko rako rekuzvarwa.

Hunyanzvi hwemudiplomate kugona kuudza mumwe munhu kuti aende kuGehena nenzira yekuti anotarisira rwendo.

Kuchembera ndipo paunosangana nemiedzo miviri wosarudza iyo inokusvitsa kumba nenguva dzepfumbamwe.

Nguva yakanakisisa yehupenyu hwemukadzi haisi kubereka, kuona muvengi wekare uye kuona kuti akafuta uye akaipa sei iye zvino.

Uchiri mudiki, unoita ruzha rwakawanda uchingonakidzwa chete. Kana wakura, unotowedzera ruzha uchingokotama.

Ndaida kuratidzika kuva munhu ane mukurumbira muukweguru hwangu, naizvozvo ndakamera ndebvu. Zvinoratidza kuti chirevo chandiri kutaura chakaita senge, "Dhipozi, ndapota, ndiri mukuru!"

Pandaiva mukomana, ndaiva nechirwere chaida kuti ndidye tsvina katatu pazuva kuti ndirarame. Sezvineiwo, mukoma wangu akandiudza nezvazvo.

Ndichiri mudiki ndakaita zvinhu zvoupenzi nekuti ndaisaziva zviri nani. Iye zvino ndava kuziva zviri nani, ndichiri kuita zvinhu zvoupenzi, asi handigoni kuzvibatsira.

Nguva dzose ndinonzwa zviri nani apo chiremba wangu anoti chimwe chinhu chiri chenguva dzose kuzera rangu, asi ipapo ndinorangarira kuti rufu ruchava rwomuzvarirwo nokuda kwezera rangu pane imwe nguva.

Ndasvika zera rekuti kuzvitarisa pagirazi sekuona nhau. Ndinoziva kuti pachava nezvimwe zvitsva zvandisingade.

Uchiri mudiki, kunyara kukanganwa kuvhara zip nhunzi yako. Kana wachembera, kunyara kukanganwa kusunungura nhunzi yako.

Sezvandinokura uye ndichirangarira vanhu vose vandakarasikirwa munzira, ndinofunga kwandiri kuti zvimwe basa somuperekedzi wevashanyi rakanga risiri iro rakandikodzera.

Mudiwa muverengi, majee aya ekuchembera akaita kuti unyemwerere here? ndinovimba saizvozvo.

Zvichida unonzwa kuti uchiri kukwanisa kuseka?

Kana zvakadaro. wobva wadzvanya pane zvinongedzo pazasi. Ndine chivimbo chekuti uchawana kunyemwerera kwakawanda kukusembura.

Uye kana wakanakidzwa nezvawaverenga nhasi, ndapota govera iyi positi neshamwari dzako pasocial media. Paunogovana, munhu wese anokunda.

Nguva dzose ipfungwa yakanaka kupfuudza kunyemwerera. Uye iwe unenge uchibatsira bhurogu inoda kusvika kune vakawanda vateereri.

Ndatenda nerutsigiro rwenyu.

Zvinyorwa zvaunganakidzwa nazvo:

CHIZIVISO: Chinyorwa ichi chine malink ekubatana; makomisheni akabhadharwa anotsigira mari yekuchengetedza saiti iyi. Hapana imwe mari ichabhadharwa kune chero munhu ari kutenga. Maita basa.

Filed Under: Witty One-Liners Tagged With: Kufara, varaidzo, mafaro, shamisa, majee anosetsa, kusetsa, kuseka, kurudziro, majee, majee okuchembera, Kuseka, LOL, nyemwerera, majee ane njere, ane njere rimwe liners, majee anosekesa

5 nyaya dzinosetsa dzinofadza zuva rako zvishoma

09/04/2026 by Roy Sutton

Kana iwe uchitsvaga majee anosetsa ari muchimiro chenyaya dzinosetsa, saka ini ndine mashanu makuru kwauri nhasi, muverengi anodiwa.

Ndine chivimbo chekuti uchanakidzwa nazvo zvese.

Saka tora kofi, zorora, uye zorora zvisiri pamutemo kubva kune zvinomanikidza zvezuva kuti unakirwe nazvo zvese.

Uye ndapota inzwa wakasununguka kuzvipfuudza.

Nyaya dzinosetsa:

1. Fly Southwest:

Johnny muduku akanga akatarisa kunze kwefafitera rendege, achifarira ruzivo rwokubhururuka kwake kwokutanga.

Achifungisisa zvakadzama, akangoerekana atendeukira kuna amai vake ndokubvunza, “ Kana imbwa hombe dziine imbwa hombe uye katsi hombe dziine katsi hombe, sei ndege hombe dzisina ndege hombe? ”

Amai vake vakanetseka zvishoma nemubvunzo uyu, uye vakanetseka kufunga mhinduro, saka vakati, " Johnny, sei usingabvunze mushandi wendege? "

Johnny mudiki akanga asiri mwana asina chivimbo, saka akafamba munzira ndokuti nemubatsiri wendege neruremekedzo, “ Ndiregerereiwo amai, kana imbwa hombe dziine imbwa hombe uye katsi hombe dziine katsi hombe, sei ndege hombe dzisina ndege hombe? ”

Mushandi wendege akanga ambozvinzwa zvese izvi, hongu, asi akanyemwerera Johnny zvinyoro nyoro ndokuzobvunza kuti, “ Amai vako vakakuudza kuti undibvunze izvozvo here? ”

Johnny mudiki akadzorera kunyemwerera kwake ndokuti, “ Hongu, amai, akanyemwerera .”

" Zvakanaka ," akadaro mushandi wendege, " unogona kuudza amai vako kuti hapana ndege dzevana nekuti Southwest inogara ichiuya nenguva. Unogona kukumbira amai vako kuti vakutsanangurire izvozvo. "

2. Mipiro yokuzvidira:

Jim akanga achityaira achienda kumba achibva kuhofisi rimwe zuva apo akazviwana ava mumigwagwa nemhaka yokuti motokari dzose dzaiva mberi kwake dzakanga dzamira zvachose mumugwagwa mukuru. Hapana chaifamba zvachose.

Kamwe kamwe, Jim akaona mupurisa achifamba mumutsara wemotokari achiuya kumotokari yaiva mberi.

Naizvozvo Jim akabuda mumotokari yake ndokubvunza mupurisa chikonzero nei pakanga pane chinetso.

" Changamire, ndine urombo nekusagadzikana kwaitika, asi meya weguta agere pakati pemugwagwa pamberi pake, uye ari mumamiriro ezvinhu ekuvhiringidzika kukuru ," akadaro mupurisa.

" Anoti ane chikwereti chakakura, uye ari kutyisidzira kuzvidira peturu mumuviri wake ozozvipisa nemoto ," mupurisa akadaro.

" Saka uri kuitei? " akabvunza Jim.

" Ndiri kuenda kubva kune imwe mota ndichikumbira zvipo ," mupurisa akapindura.

" Uye waunganidza marii kusvika pari zvino? " Jim akabvunza.

" Zvakanaka, changamire ," akadaro mupurisa, " tichangotanga, asi vatyairi vari pamberi pedu vatipa marita gumi nemashanu kusvika pari zvino, uye vamwe vatyairi vachiri kusvuta fodya sezvatinotaura. "

3. Nharo:

Chiremba O'Riley nemudzimai wavo vari kunetsana vari patafura yemangwanani.

Kupopotedzana kuri kuwedzera zvishoma nezvishoma sezvavanotanga kutukana mabhomba, vachiedza kukunda zvakataurwa nomumwe.

Pakupedzisira, Chiremba O'Riley akatsamwa zvikuru, anoshevedzera achiti, " Uye hausi munhu akanaka pamubhedha futi ," asati abuda mumba nehasha.

Paanosvika pakuvhiyiwa kwake, Chiremba O'Riley anenge adzikama, uye anotanga kunzwa aine mhosva pamusoro pemashoko ake ekuparadzana.

Saka anofonera mudzimai wake achikumbira ruregerero.

Hapana mhinduro. Saka, anoedza kufona kakawanda mukati meawa inotevera. Pakupedzisira, runhare rwake runopindurwa mushure mekuridza runhare kakawanda, uye panguva ino, chiremba akatsamwa uye anoshevedzera achiti, " Chii chakutora nguva yakareba kudaira runhare? "

" Ndanga ndiri pamubhedha ," mudzimai wake anopindura.

" Waiva pamubhedha here? " Chiremba akadaro achishamisika. " Waiitei pamubhedha? "

" Kana muchiziva ," mudzimai wake anodaro, " ndaive ndichiwana mumwe munhu wekufunga! "

4. Kutsvaga zvinoreva:

The Lone Ranger nemumwe wake akatendeka, Tonto, vakanga vakadzika musasa murenje.

Zuva rakange rarebesa vari munzira, vapedza kumisa tende vakarara vese.

Maawa akati gare gare, Tonto anomutsa Lone Ranger ndokuti, “ Kemo Sabe, tarisa kudenga. Uri kuona chii? ”

Lone Ranger anopindura achiti, “ Ndinoona mamiriyoni enyeredzi, Tonto. Sei? ”

" Izvi zvinokuudzei, Kemo Sabe? " akabvunza Tonto.

Lone Ranger anofungisisa mubvunzo uyu kwechinguvana obva ati, " Zvinondiudza kuti muchadenga mune mamiriyoni emagalaksi nemabhiriyoni emapuraneti. Zvinoti isu tiri madiki diki muchadenga chikuru. Uye zvinoti kwava kuda kusvika 2:45 mangwanani. Denga rakajeka rinoratidzawo kuti tichanakidzwa nezuva rakanaka gare gare. Zvinokuudza chii, Tonto? "

“ Kemo Sabe, uri benzi kupfuura imbwa yemusango,” Tonto anopindura. “ Zvinondiudza kuti mumwe munhu akaba tende redu. ”

5. Kufa kunorwadza kwaBubba:

Zvinosuruvarisa, Bubba akaurayiwa mumamiriro ezvinhu anofungidzirwa mumoto wakaipisisa, achitambura nekupisa kwakanyanya kwakamusiya asingazivikanwe zvachose.

Kuti vazive mutumbi zviri pamutemo, muongorori wezvekurapa weLos Angeles County akafonera shamwari mbiri dzaBubba dzepedyo, Jim-Bob naJoe-Bob.

Muongorori wezvekurapa akaratidza Jim-Bob mutumbi, uye akapindura achifema zvinyoro nyoro ndokubva ati, “ Aa ...

Saka chiremba akatenderedza mutumbi, uye Jim-Bob akabva apindura ipapo ipapo, achiti, “ Kwete, changamire, haasi Bubba .”

" Une chokwadi here? " akadaro chiremba wekuongorora.

" Hongu, changamire, ndine chokwadi, " Jim-Bob akapindura, " asi munogona kubvunza Joe-Bob kana muchida. "

Saka Joe-Bob akapinzwa mumochari ndokuratidzwa mutumbi.

“ Ndiri kutaura chokwadi ,” akadaro Joe-Bob, “ atsva chose. Mungamutenderedza here, ndapota, changamire? ”

Kunyange zvazvo akashamiswa kugamuchira ichi chikumbiro zvakare, muongorori wezvokurapa akasungirira ndokukungurutsa mutumbi.

Joe-Bob akambomira kwechinguva ndokuzoti, “ Kwete, changamire, haasi Bubba .”

Kuchinja uku kwezviitiko kwakashamisa chiremba. Saka akabvunza kuti, " Ungaziva sei kuti haasi Bubba nekungomutenderedza? "

" Zvakanaka, changamire ," akadaro Joe-Bob, " Bubba aive nepfungwa mbiri dzisina kunaka ."

" Unorevei, aive nemadhoko maviri? " akadaro chiremba achibvunza.

" Hongu, changamire, munhu wese aiziva izvozvo pano ," akadaro Joe-Bob.

" Unozviziva sei? " Muongorori wezvekurapa akabvunza.

Joe-Bob akapindura achiti, “ Nekuti pese pataifamba tese tiri vatatu muMain Street, wainzwa vanhu vachiti, ‘Heuno Bubba ari kuuya nehasha mbiri’. ”

Please share this post:

Saka muverengi anodiwa, iyi positi yanga ichinakidza uye yakakosha maminetsi mashoma enguva yako?

Kana imwe yeidzi nyaya dzinosetsa yakuita kuti unyemwerere, saka ndokumbira ugovane neshamwari dzako pasocial media.

Paunogovana, munhu wese anokunda. Nguva dzose ipfungwa yakanaka kupfuudza kunyemwerera.

Isa nyemwerero pachiso chemumwe munhu, uye iwe waita basa rako rakanaka rezuva. Saka enderera mberi, govera izvozvi.

Ipapo pamwe ungada zvimwe kuseka? Wobva wadzvanya pane zvinongedzo pazasi.

Ndatenda.

Zvinyorwa zvaunganakidzwa nazvo:

Filed Under: Semburi Jokes Tagged With: Kufara, varaidzo, mafaro, shamisa, majee anosetsa, Hirari, kusetsa, Nyaya Dzese, kuseka, majee, nyemwerera

23 makuru ekugara akatarisa makotesheni ekukubatsira iwe kutsvaga kubudirira

09/03/2026 by Roy Sutton

Kana iwe usingazivi chaizvo zvaunoda, saka hauzombozviwani. Ndine chokwadi chekuti zvakawanda zvinobuda pachena kwauri, muverengi anodiwa. Zvisinei, ungaziva sei zvaunoda?

Zvakanaka, kana zvichidikanwa, ramba uchiedza zvinhu kudzamara wawana chimwe chinhu chaunonyatso farira uye chaunokunda.

Uye kana uchinge wawana chimwe chinhu chaunoda, ramba wakatarisa pachiri uye utore kusvika paunogona kuenda.

Ndiyo nzira yekuwana budiriro chaiyo.

Heano 23 makuru ekugara-akatarisana makotesheni ekukubatsira iwe munzira yako.

Ramba uchifunga nezvemashoko akatorwa (1-7):

Ramba wakaisa pfungwa pachinangwa. ~Naveen Jain
Ramba wakatarisa, tevera zviroto zvako uye ramba uchienda kune zvinangwa zvako. ~LL Cool J
Ziva zvaunoda, uye tarisa kuti uchazviwana sei. Uye usambofa wakakanda mapfumo pasi. ~Roy Sutton
Kana tangobvuma miganhu yedu, tinoenda kupfuura iyo. ~Albert Einstein
Aim higher; ramba wakatarira. ~Brandon adams
Ndinogara ndichida kuramba ndakatarisa zvandiri, kunyangwe pandiri kuziva zvandiri. ~Alicia Keys
Ramba wakatarisa pachinangwa chako, ramba wakatsiga mukutsvaga kwako kugona, uye gara uchiita izvo chaizvo. ~Maka Esper

Ramba uchifunga nezvemashoko akatorwa (8-15):

Ramba wakatendeka kwauri, asi gara wakavhurika kudzidza. Shanda nesimba uye usambokanda mapfumo pasi pazviroto zvako, kunyangwe pasina mumwe munhu anotenda kuti zvinogona kuitika kunze kwako. Aya haasi macliche, asi maturusi chaiwo aunoda zvisinei nezvaunoita muhupenyu kuti urambe wakatarisa munzira yako. ~Phillip Sweet
Ramba wakatarisa, tenda kuti iwe unogona kuwana padanho repamusoro, zvitenderedze iwe nevamwe vanotenda mauri, uye usatsauka kubva pachinangwa chako. ~Zach Ertz
Vanhu vakabudirira vanoramba vaine maonero akanaka muupenyu pasinei nezviri kuitika pavari. Vanoramba vakatarisa pakubudirira kwavo kwakapfuura pane kukundikana kwavo kwekare, uye pamatanho echiito anotevera, chavanofanira kutora kuti vaswedere pedyo nekuzadzikiswa kwezvinangwa zvavo pane zvimwe zvinotsausa zvose izvo upenyu hunopa kwavari. ~Jack Canfield
Mugwagwa wakareba, saka tiri kungoyedza kuramba takatarisa uye takadzikama uye tirambe tichienda kumberi. ~Sturgill simpson
Kiyi yangu yekubata nekushushikana iri nyore: ingo gara wakadzikama uye ramba wakatarisa. ~Ashton Eaton
Iwe unofanirwa kugara wakadzikama uye wakaoma mupfungwa. Ndizvo zvandakadzidza chaizvo: zuva rega rega iguyo, uye iwe unofanirwa kushanda nesimba. ~Chris Gronkowski
Ramba wakazaruka-pfungwa; ramba wakatarira. Rovedza nesimba uye dzidzisa zvakangwara. Kwandiri, kukura kwandinoita, kungwara kwandinofanira kudzidzisa nokuti nguva yekudzorera yakareba. Shanda pane zvese: iva murwi akakwana; usangogona pachinhu chimwe chete; iva akanaka pane zvese. ~Brock Lesnar
Pandinokura, ndinoramba ndakatarisa pakugamuchirwa kwangu uye nevamwe uye ndinosarudza tsitsi pane kutonga uye kuda kuziva pane kutya. ~Tracee Ellis Ross

Ramba uchifunga nezvemashoko akatorwa (16-23):

Zano rakanakisa rebasa randakawana ndere kuramba ndakatarisa uye kuramba ndichienda kumberi. ~Tyga
Chinangwa changu chete ndechekuramba ndakatarisa pane yangu hunyanzvi uye kuve nechokwadi chekuti hupenyu hwangu hwakapinza sezvahungaite kurwisa chero hunhu hwandinopiwa. ~Michael K.Williams
Ndinofanira kuva nechokwadi chokuti ndinoramba ndakatarira, ndiine vavariro imwe chete yandagara ndinayo, uye kushanda nesimba; ndiyo kiyi yekubudirira. ~Romelu Lukaku
Chandakadzidza ndechekuti kana ukaramba wakanangana, uchitenda, uye uchifamba nekufamba, zvese zvinogoneka. ~Craig David
Ndinoda kugara ndakabatikana, ndinoda kugara ndakatarisa, uye ndinoda kugara ndakagadzira. Pasina kuita zvekugadzira, ndingadai ndakafa. ~Jeremy Renner
Kutanga bhizinesi nekuvaka chigadzirwa hakusi kwekuneta kwemoyo. Iwe unofanirwa kudzidza kusarega kuodzwa mwoyo kudiki kuchikuwisira pasi uye kuramba wakatarisa pamufananidzo mukuru. ~Gillian Tans
Iwe unofanirwa kugara munguva. Ramba wakatarira. Ziva zvauchaita. ~Dave Martinez
Kana kuri kutya kwedariro, hakuperi. Pandinenge ndakamirira mumapapiro kuti ndienderere mberi, zvinorwadza nguva imwe neimwe, asi ndinoramba ndakatarisa, uye ndinoziva kuti kana ndave pachikuva, zvinenge zvakanaka; Ndichange ndiri mubhururu rangu rinofara. ~Britt ekland

Please share this post neshamwari dzako:

Saka, muverengi anodiwa, iyi positi yaive yakakosha chidimbu chenguva yako?

Kana zvanga zvirizvo, ndokumbira uzvigovere neshamwari dzako pasocial media. Paunogovana, munhu wese anokunda.

Dai waikwanisa kugovera iko zvino, ipapo ndingazogara ndichitenda. Iwe unenge uchibatsira blogger ine shungu kusvika kune vakawanda vateereri.

Ndinokutendai nerutsigiro rwenyu muverengi anodiwa.

Zvinyorwa zvaunganakidzwa nazvo:

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: Influencers, kurudziro, Inspirational Quotes, upenyu, zvichireva, Chikonzero, Zvinokurudzira Quotes, mafungiro, quotes, nyemwerera, gara wakatarisa makotesheni, njere

33 rusununguko rwekutaura makotesheni kuti ufunge

09/01/2026 by Roy Sutton

Kana iwe uchitsvaga mamwe kusununguka-kwe-kutaura makotesheni, ini ndakagadzirisa mamwe anofungisa uye anonakidza.

Tiri kurarama munguva isingawanzo shivirira avo vanotaura pfungwa nepfungwa zvinopesana nehuchenjeri hwakagamuchirwa hwemazuva ano.

Zvisinei, rusununguko rwokutaura rune basa kwatiri tose kana tichitenda muutongi hwezvido zvevanhu uye nekodzero dzevanhu kuti vataure pfungwa dzisingafadzi ruzhinji.

Rusununguko rwekutaura runokosha, uye tinofanira kurichengetedza sokunge kuti upenyu hwedu hunotsamira parwuri nokuti rimwe zuva vangangogona.

Saka tora nguva shoma yekufungisisa aya makotesheni, uye ndapota inzwa wakasununguka kuapfuudza.

Rusununguko rwekunokorwa mashoko (1-10):

Kutaura kwakasununguka kunosanganisira kodzero yekusataura. ~Jimmy Wales
Unofanira kumira wakasununguka kutaura mumigwagwa. ~Mary Harris Jones
Nekukurukurirana kwechokwadi uye kutaura kwakasununguka, manzwi evanhu ngaanzwike. ~Ron Johnson
Handifungi kuti tinofanira kunyimwa ropafadzo yekusununguka kutaura. ~Loretta Swit
Ndiri munhu akasununguka kutaura. Ini handifarire censorship; Ini hangu handifungi kuti chinhu chakanaka. ~Fred Wilson
Iwe unoziva, munhu wese anotenda mukusununguka kutaura kusvika watanga kuvabvunza nezvazvo. ~Larry flynt
Kusununguka kutaura hakusati kuchingova chimwe chinhu chinokosha. Ndiwo hwaro hwebudiriro yekuMadokero. ~Jordan Peterson
Ndinofunga, nekutenda kusingagumi, kuti vakadzi vaduku vemazuva ano havaiti uye havagoni kuziva pamutengo upi kodzero yavo yekusununguka kutaura uye kutaura zvachose paruzhinji yakawanikwa. ~Lucy Stone
Komedhi yekumisikidza, uye komedhi zvakazara, ndiyo yekupedzisira nzira yekutaura wakasununguka nekuti unosvika pakubaya maburi mumapupu ese ekunyepedzera vezvematongerwo enyika nevanoongorora uye vanapapa nevanyengeri vanoedza kuyangarara pamusoro pemisoro yedu. ~Dennis Leary
Kutaura kwakasununguka ndihwo hwaro hwekodzero dzevanhu, mudzi wehunhu hwevanhu, uye mai vechokwadi. Kuuraya rusununguko rwekutaura kutuka kodzero dzevanhu, kudzvanya hunhu hwevanhu uye kudzvanyirira chokwadi. ~Liu Xiaobo

Rusununguko rwekunokorwa mashoko (11-20):

Kusununguka kutaura ndicho musimboti wekodzero yese yatinayo. ~Maka Thomas
Vezvematongerwo enyika vanotenda murusununguko rwekutaura kusvika zvave kunetsa kwavari. ~Tom Irwell
Pasina kutaura pachena hapana kutsvaga chokwadi kunokwanisika… hapana kuwanikwa kwechokwadi kunobatsira. ~Charles Bradlaugh
Kutaura kwakasununguka kunoitirwa kudzivirira kutaura kusingadiwi. Kutaura kwakakurumbira, netsanangudzo, hakudi dziviriro. ~Neal Boortz
Kudzvanyirira rusununguko rwekutaura zvakaipa zvakapetwa kaviri. Inotyora kodzero dzemunzwi pamwe nedzemutauri. ~Frederick Douglass
Kusununguka kutaura ndechimwe chezvinhu zvakakosha kwandiri, asi ndinofunga zvinokanganisa kana zvasvika pakukanganisa. Nekuti kune imwe, nekuda kwekuti une kodzero yekutaura chero chinhu, hazvireve kuti unofanirwa kudaro. ~Ricky Gervais
Vagadziri veBumbiro reMitemo vaiziva kuti kutaura kwakasununguka ishamwari yeshanduko neshanduko. Asi vaizivawo kuti udzvanyiriri hunogara huri muvengi akaipisisa. ~Hugo Black
Vakasununguka havafanirwe kusiya basa rekudzivirira kutaura kwemahara pamakoreji emakoreji kune vanochengetedza. Mushure mezvose, pasina kutaura kwakasununguka, chii chinonzi liberalism nezve? ~Bari Weiss
Haugoni kungochera mumwe munhu, kusvibisa zita rake, kana kuti kunyepa pamusoro pake. Iwe haugoni kukurudzira vanhu kupara mhosva. Kune marudzi ese ezvirambidzo zvine musoro pakusununguka kutaura zvakatonyorwa muBritish common-law system. ~Jordan Peterson
Igangaidzo kuti mudzvanyiriri wese akwira kusimba pamanera ekutaura akasununguka. Pakarepo pakuwana simba, mudzvinyiriri mumwe nomumwe akadzvinyirira kutaura kwose kworusununguko kunze kwake amene. ~Herbert Hoover

Rusununguko rwekunokorwa mashoko (21-27):

Kutya kukuvadzwa kwakakomba kwoga hakugoni kururamisa kudzvinyirirwa kwehurukuro yakasununguka nokuungana. Varume vaitya varoyi nevakadzi vakasvira. Iro basa rekutaura kusunungura varume kubva muusungwa hwekutya kusina musoro. ~Louis D. Brandeis
Kodzero dzekutaura dzakasununguka zvinoreva kuti vakuru vakuru vehurumende vanorambidzwa kugadzira zvinyorwa zvemazano ezvematongerwo enyika akatenderwa uye asingatenderwe uye vobva vashandisa simba rehurumende kumanikidza zvido izvozvo. ~Glenn Greenwald
Kutaura kwakasununguka ikodzero yekuudza vanhu zvavasingade kunzwa. Kodzero yekutaura pfungwa dzisingabvumirani nevamwe. Kana tichidavira murusununguko rwokutaura, ipapo kodzero iyoyo inofanira kuremekedzwa. ~Roy Sutton
Padandemutande, vanhu vane mavara eganda akasiyana, nyika, tsika nemitauro vanofanirwa kuve nekodzero yakaenzana yekutora chikamu, kutaura vakasununguka nebudiriro. Tinofanira kusiya rusaruro, kuremekedza misiyano, uye kuva vanoshivirira uye vakasununguka. ~Lu wei
Isu hatina mitemo yekumhura mazuva ano asi nerusununguko irworwo rwunouya mutoro unofanirwa kugara uchienda kukushandiswa kwekutaura kwakasununguka: chokwadi, ruremekedzo uye kuziva nezvemhedzisiro. Ndiyo yekupedzisira yeiyi iyo inoregeredzwa zvakanyanya nekomedhi yemazuva ano. ~Ann Widdecombe
Twitter inzira yekusununguka kutaura, uye ini ndiri zvese izvo. Asi kana Cee Lo Green, maverick emhando, asingakwanise kusvika pa Twitter otaura chimwe chinhu chisinganzwisisike kana chinokatyamadza, saka chii chiri chinangwa che Twitter zvachose? ~CeeLo Green
Hapana mumwe wedu anotenda mukodzero isingadzoreki yorusununguko rwokutaura. Isu tose tinobvumirana kuti pachagara paine mitsetse iyo, nekuda kwezvinangwa zvemutemo uye kurongeka, haigone kuyambuka; kana nekuda kwekuravira uye nehunhu, hazvifanirwe kuyambuka. Isu tinosiyana chete pakuti mitsetse iyoyo inofanira kukweverwa papi. ~Mehdi Hasan

Rusununguko rwekunokorwa mashoko (27-33):

Kuti ndine kodzero yokutaura ndakasununguka nguva dzose mumamiriro ezvinhu ose kunosanganisira pfungwa yokuti kutaura kwakasununguka i‘kodzero huru yevanhu’ inova nomunhu mumwe nomumwe, uye, saizvozvo, ndinotsigira zvido zvenzanga kana boka, kusanganisira muvakidzani wangu. . ~Tom Stoppard
Rimwe rematambudziko nekudzivirira kutaura kwakasununguka iwe kazhinji unofanirwa kudzivirira vanhu vaunoona sevanotyisa uye vasingafadzi uye vanosemesa. ~Salman Rushdie
Iwe haugone kuve neyunivhesiti usina kusununguka kutaura, kunyangwe dzimwe nguva zvichitishayisa kugadzikana. Kana vadzidzi vasingazonzwe mazano anopokana pamakoreji ekoreji, ivo havasi kuzoanzwa muAmerica. Ndinotenda kuti chikamu chedzidzo yavo. ~Donna Shalala
Iyo nyaya yekuti takadzivirirwa pasi peBumbiro reMitemo mukushandisa kodzero yekusununguka kutaura, chinhu chinoshamisa. Iwe unofanirwa kubva kune imwe nzvimbo kuti uone kukosha kwayo. ~Pat Oliphant
Iwe unofanirwa kuratidzira pamusoro pemaonero evanhu vausingabvumirani navo pamusoro penyaya huru dzetsika, uye kuvapikisa pasi, asi haufaniri kuedza kuvanyararidza, zvisinei kuti unovasema sei. Ndiro piritsi rinovava kusununguka kutaura kunoda kuti timedze. ~Julian Baggi
Pfungwa yekuti makambani ane imwechete First Amendment dziviriro yekusununguka kutaura sevanhu iri kunetsa. Makambani haasi vanhu. Havaendi zvikoro zvedu, vanoroora uye kuita vana. Havavhoti musarudzo dzedu. ~Hank Johnson

Ndokumbira ugoverane iyi post neshamwari dzako dzese:

Wakawana aya mashoko erusununguko-rwekutaura achinakidza uye achikurudzira kufunga?

Kana wakadaro, pamwe vanogona kufarira vamwe vaunoziva, zvakare.

Ndokumbira ugovane chinyorwa ichi neshamwari dzako pasocial media nekuti paunogovana, munhu wese anohwina. Dai waikwanisa kugovera iko zvino, ipapo ndingazogara ndichitenda.

Ndatenda nerutsigiro rwenyu.

Zvinyorwa zvaungafarirawo:

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: Kutaura Kwakasununguka, Kutaura Kwakasununguka, Rusununguko rwekutaura, rusununguko-rwekutaura mashoko, kurudziro, Inspirational Quotes, upenyu, zvichireva, Chikonzero, Zvinokurudzira Quotes, mafungiro, quotes, njere

Mashoko makumi mashanu anokurudzira ekutanga zuva

08/31/2026 by Roy Sutton

Kana uchitsvaga mashoko ekukurudzira ekukurudzira zuva rako, muverengi anodiwa, chinyorwa ichi ndechenyu chete.

Zuva rega rega rinounza rombo rakanaka. Une maawa makumi maviri nemana aunogona kuronga nekutarisa kwako, zvaunosarudza, uye kushingaira kwako.

Kunyange zvazvo zviri nyore kuona zuva iri serinokwira gomo, mafungiro akanaka anogona kushandura simba iroro rekutanga kuita kubudirira kusingaperi.

Zvakaitika kare zvaingova zvidzidzo zvakatevedzana. Hazvitsananguri ramangwana rako. Hazvina kumbononoka kushandura hupenyu hwaunorarama. Zvinogona kuva zvaunoda kuti huve nebhizinesi uye kushanda nesimba.

Ungave uine zvinangwa zvenguva refu zvine chinangwa, uri kutanga chirongwa chitsva, kana kuti zvichida uchida kugadzirira ramangwana rakanaka, kurudziro inowanzotanga nepfungwa imwe chete ine simba.

Nhasi ndiri kukupa mashoko makumi mashanu asingakanganwiki kubva kune vafungi vakuru, vatungamiriri, nevagadziri venhoroondo kuti vakujekesere, vakurodzere kutarisa, uye vakubatsire kuva neramangwana rako.

YEUKA: ramangwana harisati ranyorwa, asi une peni.

Mashoko makumi mashanu ekukurudzira kutanga day:

Hunhu hwakanaka hausi chiito, itsika. ~Aristotle
Rota hombe uye utsunge kukundikana. ~Norman Vaughan
Hapana chichashanda kunze kwekunge waita. ~Maya Angelou
Hapana chinotsiva kushanda nesimba. ~Thomas Edison
Kudzivirira ndicho chiratidzo chekutanga chekukundwa. ~Samuel Johnson
Unofanira kumhanya zuva, kana kuti zuva rinokumhanya. ~Jim Rohn
Zvinogara zvichiita sezvisingaite kusvika zvapera. ~Nelson Mandela
Ita chinhu chimwe chete zuva rega rega chinokutyisa. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Tarisa pakuita zvinhu zvinobudirira pane kungobatikana. ~Tim Ferriss
Ushingi inyasha kana uchimanikidzwa. ~Ernest Hemingway
Chiedza mangwana neanhasi. ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Ramangwana rinoenderana nezvaunoita nhasi. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Simba nekushingirira zvinokunda zvinhu zvese. ~ Benjamin Franklin
Chakavanzika chekuenda mberi kutanga. ~Mark Twain
Chiito ndicho kiyi yekutanga kubudirira kwese. ~Pablo Picasso
Tenda kuti unogona, uye wava pakati peizvozvo. ~Theodore Roosevelt
Nzira chete yekuita basa rakanaka ndeyekuda zvaunoita. ~Steve Jobs
Pfungwa ndiyo zvese. Zvaunofunga kuti unova. ~Buddha
Unopotsa 100% yepfuti yausingatore. ~Wayne Gretzky
Pakati pematambudziko pane mukana. ~Albert Einstein
Kudyara mari muruzivo kunobhadhara mubereko wakanaka. ~Benjamin Franklin
Mabasa madiki akaitwa ari nani pane mabasa makuru akarongwa. ~Peter Marshall
Nzira yekutanga ndeyekurega kutaura wotanga kuita. ~Walt Disney
Haugone kuzvivakira mukurumbira pane zvauri kuzoita. ~Henry Ford
Hazvidi kuti uve munhu akanaka kuti utange, asi unofanira kutanga kuva munhu akanaka. ~Zig Ziglar
Tanga pauri. Shandisa zvaunazvo. Ita zvaunogona. ~Arthur Ashe
Kubudirira hakusi mugumo, kukundikana hakusi kuuraya: ushingi hwekuramba huchikosha. ~Winston Churchill
Zviri shure kwedu uye zviri pamberi pedu zvinhu zvidiki kana zvichienzaniswa nezviri matiri. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tarenda rako rinosarudza zvaunogona kuita. Chido chako chinosarudza kuti unoda kuita zvakawanda sei. Mafungiro ako anoratidza kuti unozviita zvakanaka sei. ~Lou Holtz
Usaverenge mazuva, ita kuti mazuva acho ave mashoma. ~Muhammad Ali
Mikana haiitike, iwe unoigadzira. ~Chris Grosser
Ita zvaunogona, nezvaunazvo, pauri. ~Squire Bill Widener
Nyora mumoyo mako kuti zuva rega rega ndiro zuva rakanakisisa mugore. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Muganho chete wekuziva kwedu mangwana kuchava kusava nechokwadi kwedu kwanhasi. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
Enda kure sezvaunogona kuona; kana wasvika ikoko, unokwanisa kuona mberi. ~Thomas Carlyle
Kana iwe uchida kuita kuti basa riri nyore riite serakaoma, ramba uchiverengera kuriita. ~Olin Miller
Mufaro hausi chinhu chakagadzirwa kare. Unobva muzviito zvako wega. ~Dalai Lama
Vaka zviroto zvako wega, kana kuti mumwe munhu achakuhaya kuti uvake zvavo. ~Farrah Gray
Handisi chibereko chemamiriro angu ezvinhu. Ndiri chibereko chezvisarudzo zvangu. ~Stephen Covey
Zvinhu zvikuru zvinoitwa nezvinhu zvidiki zvakaunganidzwa. ~Vincent van Gogh
Edza kusaita munhu anobudirira. Pane kudaro, iva munhu anokosha. ~Albert Einstein
Zvese zvawagara uchida zviri kune rumwe rutivi rwekutya. ~George Addair
Remangwana ndereavo vanotenda mukunaka kwezviroto zvavo. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Kukwana hakugoneki, asi kana tikatsvaga kukwana, tinogona kuwana kugona. ~Vince Lombardi
Iwe hausati wanyanya kuchembera kuti uise chimwe chinangwa kana kurota hope itsva. ~CS Lewis
Chinja mafungiro ako, uye iwe unochinja nyika yako. ~Norman Vincent Peale
Zvatinotya kuita zvakanyanya ndizvo zvatinofanira kuita. ~Tim Ferriss
Usamirira; nguva haizombofi 'yakakodzera.' Tanga paumire. ~Napoleon Hill
Isu tiri zvatinoita kakawanda. Saka, kugona basa hakusi chiito, asi tsika. ~Will Durant
Nguva yakanakisisa yekudyara muti yaive makore makumi maviri apfuura. Nguva yechipiri yakanakisisa ndiyo ikozvino. ~Chirevo chechiChinese

BHONASI ROKUTI: Kubudirira hakungoitiki netsaona; unofanira kuzviita. Zvinoda kutsungirira, kushanda nesimba, uye kuramba kurega kusvika wasvika paunoda kuva. Hazvizovi nyore, asi zvinogoneka. Vamwe vanozviita, uye iwe unogona kuzviitawo!

Ndapota taurai mashoko aya ekukurudzira:

Kana wakawana mashoko aya ekukurudzira kutanga zuva achibatsira, saka ndokumbirawo ugovane chinyorwa ichi neshamwari dzako pasocial media.

Paunogovana, munhu wese anokunda.

Saka enda mberi, ndapota govera iyi post ikozvino.

Kana iwe uchikwanisa kundiitira izvozvo, ndichagara ndichitenda, uye unenge uchibatsira blogger ine shungu kusvika kune vakawanda vateereri.

Rutsigiro rwenyu runotendwa. Ndatenda.

Zvinyorwa zvaunganakidzwa nazvo:

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: kurudziro, Inspirational Quotes, upenyu, Chikonzero, Zvinokurudzira Quotes, quotes, njere

Kuvandudza Munhu Pachake: Maitiro ekusarudza zvekutarisa pakutanga

08/30/2026 by Roy Sutton

Nyaya ino ndeyako kana uchinetseka kuti ungasarudza sei zvekutanga.

Unoda kuvandudza hupenyu hwako. Hauzivi pekutangira. Heino nzira iri nyore yekuwana chinangwa chako chekutanga - uye rega kuedza kuchinja zvinhu zvese panguva imwe chete.

Pane chimwe chinhu chine tariro inoshamisa pakusarudza kuvandudza hupenyu hwako.

Unomuka mangwanani wofunga kuti:

"Zvakanaka. Zvinhu zvichachinja."

Uchawedzera kugwinya. Wana mari yakawanda. Tsvaga basa riri nani. Iva nechivimbo. Verenga zvakawanda. Ronga. Natsiridza hukama hwako. Dzidza chimwe chinhu chitsva. Famba zvakawanda. Pakupedzisira tanga chirongwa chawanga uchifunga nezvacho kwemakore.

Uye ipapo chokwadi chinorova.

Une zvinhu makumi maviri zvaunoda kuchinja uye une nguva nesimba zvakakwana kuti ugadzirise chimwe kana zviviri zvacho nemazvo.

Ndipo panogona kuomera kukura kwemunhu.

Hauna dambudziko rekukurudzira.

Une dambudziko rekuisa zvinhu pakutanga.

Uye pane musiyano wakakosha.

Hamufanirwe kuvandudza hupenyu hwenyu hwese. Munofanira kutanga mavandudza chinhu chakakodzera.

Chikanganiso Chikuru: Kuedza Kuchinja Zvese

Kana vanhu vakasarudza kuzvivandudza, vanowanzogadzira runyorwa rukuru rwezvese zvisina kunaka muhupenyu hwavo.

Zvadaro vanoedza kugadzirisa zvese.

Kudya kutsva.

Maitiro matsva ekurovedza muviri.

Maitiro matsva emangwanani.

Hurongwa hutsva hwebasa.

Maitiro matsva emari.

Sisitimu itsva yekugadzira zvinhu.

Mabhuku matsva.

Maitiro matsva.

Zvinangwa zvitsva.

Pakupera kwevhiki yekutanga, vanenge vaneta.

Pakupera kwechikamu chechipiri, vanenge vasiya zvakawanda zvacho.

Uye ipapo kunouya pfungwa isingadzivisiki:

"Handigoni kuramba ndichiita chero chinhu."

Asi pamwe handiyo dambudziko chairo.

Pamwe wakangozvikumbira kuti uite zvakawandisa.

Fungidzira uchiedza kusunda zvinhu gumi zvinorema munzira gumi dzakasiyana.

Waisazofambira mberi zvakanyanya.

Zvino fungidzira uchiisa simba rako rose shure kwechimwe.

Ndizvo zvinoita kuti munhu atarisire zvinhu zvakanyanya.

Mutemo weChinhu Chimwe Chekutanga

Kana uine nzvimbo dzakawanda dzaunoda kugadzirisa, zvibvunze kuti:

Dai ndaigona kuita shanduko huru munzvimbo IMWE chete mumwedzi mitatu inotevera, ndeipi shanduko yaizova nemigumisiro yakanaka kwazvo muhupenyu hwangu hwese?

Ndiyo nzvimbo yako yekutanga.

Cherechedza zvausiri kubvunza.

Hausi kubvunza kuti:

"Chii chandinoda kuita zvakanyanya?"

Uri kubvunza kuti:

"Chii chingave musiyano mukuru?"

Mibvunzo iyoyo yakasiyana zvikuru.

Ungangoda chaizvo kudzidza chiSpanish.

Asi kana uri kutambura nemari, kuvandudza mari yako kunogona kuva nemigumisiro yakakura.

Ungangoda kushongedza imba yako patsva.

Asi kana wakaneta nekuti mabasa ako ezuva nezuva haana kurongeka, kudzora maitiro ako kunogona kukubatsira zvikuru.

Ungangoda kuva nechivimbo chakawedzerwa.

Asi kuva neunyanzvi, kuva neutano hwakanaka kana kugadzirisa chimwe chinhu chawanga uchidzivisa zvinogona kuwedzera kuzvivimba kwako.

Chinokosha ndechekuwana poindi yako yekupinza simba.

Chii Chinonzi Leverage Point?

Nzvimbo yekubatsira (leverage point) inzira yekuvandudza inoita kuti zvimwe zvigadziriso zvive nyore.

Funga nezvazvo sedomino.

Hamufanirwe kudonhedza pasi domino yega yega.

Unongoda kuwana chinotanga ketani yekuchinja. Semuenzaniso:

hope nani

Zvimwe simba

Kurovedza muviri zvakanyanya

Maitiro akanaka

Kubudirira kukuru

Kunyanya kuvimba

Kuvandudzwa kumwe chete kunogona kugadzira kumwe kwakawanda.

Ndosaka mubvunzo usiri wekungoti:

"Ndinofanira kushandira papi?"

Ndizvo:

"Chii chandinofanira kushanda pachiri chingaite kuti zvimwe zvese zvive nyore?"

Bvunzo Yekutanga Yemibvunzo Mina

Heino kurovedza muviri kuri nyore kwaunogona kushandisa chero nguva yaunonzwa wakaremerwa.

Nyora pasi zvese zvaunoda kuvandudza.

Wobva watora chinhu chimwe nechimwe wobvunza mibvunzo mina.

1. Zvakakosha sei?

Kana ukasagadzirisa izvi, zvicharamba zvichikonzera matambudziko here?

2. Zvingaita mutsauko wakadini?

Kana ukavandudza nzvimbo iyi, hupenyu hwako hungave nani zvakadii?

3. Zvichabatsira here dzimwe nzvimbo?

Kuvandudza izvi kungaita kuti zvimwe zvinangwa zvive nyore here?

4. Ndingakwanisa here kuichinja?

Pane chimwe chinhu chaunogona kuita nezvazvo here?

Mapoinzi kubva pa1 kusvika ku5.

Ungangopedzisira wava nechimwe chinhu chakadai:

chinangwa	kukosha	Impact	Inobatsira Dzimwe Nzvimbo	Ndiri Mukutonga Kwangu
Kuvandudza hutano	4	5	5	5
Wedzera mari	5	5	4	4
Dzidza mutauro	3	3	3	5
Kuvandudza hupenyu hwevanhu	4	4	3	5
Ronga imba	2	3	2	5

Nhamba dzacho hadzifanirwe kunge dzakarurama nesainzi.

Haisi iyo pfungwa.

Kurovedza muviri kunokukurudzira kuti urege kufunga nezvezvinhu zvese wotanga kufunga nezvezvinhu zvinonyanya kukosha.

Tsvaga chinangwa chinokunda zvakanyanya muzvikamu zvakasiyana-siyana.

Ndiko kungava kutanga kwako.

Usavhiringidza Zvinodiwa Nezvakakosha

Uyu ndiwo mumwe wemisungo mikuru muhupenyu hwemazuva ano.

Takakomberedzwa nezvinhu zvinoda kutariswa nesu.

MaEmails.

Mamessage.

Zviziviso.

Appointments.

Mabasa epamba.

Kutenga.

Zvemagariro venhau.

Zvikumbiro zvevamwe vanhu.

Uye nekuti vanoda kutariswa, vanonzwa vakakosha.

Asi hazvisi hazvo zviri kutungamira hupenyu hwako mberi.

Zvibvunze kuti:

"Dai ndikaramba izvi kwemazuva makumi matatu anotevera, hupenyu hwangu hungave hwakaipa here?"

Kana mhinduro iri kwete, pamwe haisiyo inonyanya kukosha kwauri.

Zvino bvunza:

"Dai ndikashanda nguva dzose pane izvi kwemazuva makumi matatu anotevera, hupenyu hwangu hungave huri nani here?"

Kana mhinduro iri hongu, wawana chimwe chinhu chakakodzera kuongorora.

Musiyano unobatsira:

KUKURUMIDZA
Zvinhu zvinoda kutariswa newe izvozvi.

INOKOSHA
Zvinhu zvinonyatsovandudza hupenyu hwako.

ZVINOKanganisa
Zvinhu zvinokutorera pfungwa dzako pasina kukufambisa mberi.

Chinangwa chako hachisi chekubvisa zvese zvinokurumidza.

Ndechokuva nechokwadi chekuti chinhu chakakosha hachidzivisi chinhu chakakosha zvachose.

Usasarudze kwaunoda kuenda. Sarudza gwara.

Chimwe chikonzero chinoita kuti vanhu vaomerwe ndechekuti zvinangwa zvavo zvakakura.

Vanoti:

"Ndinoda kurara."

"Ndinoda kuva mupfumi."

"Ndinoda basa rakasiyana zvachose."

"Ndinoda kuva nechivimbo."

Izvi zvishuwo.

Zvinobatsira.

Asi hazvisati zvaitwa.

Zvishandure kuita nzira.

Panzvimbo ye:

"Ndinofanira kugwinya."

Edza:

"Ndichafamba kwemaminitsi makumi maviri katatu vhiki rino."

Panzvimbo ye:

"Ndinoda basa riri nani."

Edza:

"Ndiri kuda kutsvaga mabasa matatu andinofarira."

Panzvimbo ye:

"Ndinofanira kugadzirisa nyaya dzemari yangu."

Edza:

"Ndiri kuenda kunoona kuti pondo rega rega rinoenda kupi kwemazuva manomwe anotevera."

Panzvimbo ye:

"Ndinofanira kuva nechivimbo chakawanda."

Edza:

"Ndichaita chimwe chinhu vhiki rino chandave ndichidzivisa."

Shanduro dzekutanga dzinoita kuti pave nekumanikidzwa.

Shanduro dzechipiri dzinogadzira kufamba.

Uye kufamba ndiko kwaunoda.

Kuedza Kwako Kwemazuva makumi matatu

Heino dambudziko riri nyore.

Usazvipira kuchinja hupenyu hwako nekusingaperi.

Zvipe mazuva makumi matatu.

Sarudza:

Nzvimbo imwe chete

Chinangwa chimwe chete

Chiito chimwe chete chinogona kudzokororwa

Semuyenzaniso:

kugwinya

Chinangwa: Iva nechido chekushanda nesimba.

Chiito: Famba kwemaminitsi makumi matatu mazuva mashanu pasvondo.

MARI

Chinangwa: Nzwisisa kuti mari yangu iri kuenda kupi.

Chiito: Nyora mari yese yakashandiswa kwemazuva makumi matatu.

CAREER

Chinangwa: Ongorora mikana iri nani.

Chiito: Shandisa maminetsi makumi matatu katatu pasvondo uchitsvaga mikana.

KUFUNGA

Chinangwa: Iva akasununguka kuita zvinhu zvakaoma.

Chiito: Ita chinhu chimwe chete chinovaka zuva rega rega chinondiita kuti ndisanzwa zvakanaka.

Pakupera kwemazuva makumi matatu, rega.

Kudzokorora.

Chii chakashanda?

Chii chisina kudaro?

Wadzidzei?

Wobva wasarudza zvinotevera.

Ndiko kukura kwemunhu.

Hapana shanduko huru.

Kuedza kwakaitwa neunyanzvi.

Ita Kuti Chinangwa Chive Chidiki

Kana chinangwa chako chichiita sechinorema, pane mukana wakanaka wekuti wakanyanya kuchiita.

Usabvunza:

"Chii chandingaite zvakanyanya?"

Bvunza:

"Ndechipi chinhu chidiki chandingaite nguva dzese?"

Unoda kurovedza muviri here?

Tanga nemaminitsi gumi nemashanu.

Unoda kuverenga here?

Tanga nemapeji mashanu.

Unoda kunyora?

Tanga nemashoko mazana maviri.

Unoda kuchengetedza mari here?

Tanga nekutevera mashandisiro aunoita mari.

Unoda kubvisa zvinhu zvisina kurongeka here?

Tanga nedhirowa rimwe chete.

Unoda kuvaka chivimbo here?

Ita chimwe chinhu chawanga uchidzivisa.

Chinangwa hachisi chekuzvifadza.

Ndezvekuti uzviratidze wega kuti:

"Ndinogona kuita izvi."

Kubudirira kudiki kunokosha nekuti kunopa humbowo hwekuti unokwanisa kutora matanho - uye humbowo ihwohwo hunogona kuita kuti danho rinotevera rive nyore.

Chenjerera Musungo weKuvandudza Munhu

Pane imwe njodzi pano.

Unogona kufarira kuzvivandudza zvekuti kudzidza nezvekuvandudza kunova chinotsiva kuvandudza chaiko.

Unoverenga rimwe bhuku.

Teerera imwe podcast.

Tarisa imwe vhidhiyo.

Dhawunirodha imwe app yekugadzira zvinhu.

Gadzira imwe hurongwa.

Tsvagurudza imwe nzira.

Uye kunzwa uchibudirira zvikuru.

Kunze…

Hapana chakachinja.

Yeuka izvi:

Ruzivo harusi shanduko.

Kuverenga nezvekurovedza muviri hakusi kurovedza muviri.

Kuverenga nezvemari hakusi kushandisa mari yako zvakanaka.

Kuverenga nezvekuvimba hakusi kuva nechivimbo.

Kuverenga nezvekubudirira hakusi kubudirira.

Dzidza zvaunoda kuziva.

Wobva waisa bhuku pasi.

Uye ita chimwe chinhu.

Gadzira Rondedzero ye "Kwete Iye Zvino"

Heino nzira ine simba zvinoshamisa.

Kana wasarudza zvaunonyanya kukoshesa, nyora rumwe runyorwa.

Zvidane:

KWETE IZVOZVI

Isa zvimwe zvese pamusoro payo.

Semuyenzaniso:

Dzidza ChiSpanish — kwete izvozvi
Tanga podcast — kwete izvozvi
Shongedza imba patsva — kwete izvozvi
Tanga rimwe bhizinesi repadivi — kwete izvozvi
Kuverenga mabhuku makumi mashanu — kwete izvozvi
Dzidza kutora mifananidzo — kwete izvozvi

Cherechedza mashoko acho.

Hausi kuti haumbofi wakambozviita.

Uri kuti:

"Izvi handizvo zvandinonyanya kukoshesa pari zvino."

Musiyano iwoyo unosunungura.

Unogona kutevera zvinhu izvozvo gare gare.

Asi parizvino, wazvipa mvumo yekuisa pfungwa dzako pane zvauri kuita.

Ongororo yevhiki nevhiki yemaminitsi gumi

Kamwe chete pasvondo, tora maminitsi gumi.

Zvibvunze mibvunzo mishanu.

1. Chii chakafamba zvakanaka?

Pemberera kufambira mberi.

Kunyangwe kufambira mberi kudiki.

2. Chii chisina kufamba zvakanaka?

Usazvitsoropodza.

Iva nechido chekuziva.

3. Ndakadzidzei?

Kuedza kwese kwakundikana kunokupa ruzivo.

4. Chii chandinofanira kuchinja?

Gadzirisa hurongwa.

Usabva wangosiya chinangwa chako.

5. Chii chimwe chete chinokosha vhiki rinouya?

Uye hezvo zvakare.

Chinhu chimwe.

Ko Kana Zvinhu Zvose Zvichikosha?

Dzimwe nguva une zvinhu zvakakosha zvakakosha.

Kana izvozvo zvikaitika, shandisa nzira iyi:

CHEKUTANGA

Chii chingakonzera matambudziko akakomba kana ndikasateerera?

Bata nenjodzi dzechokwadi.

CHEPIRI

Chii chiri kupedza simba rakawanda?

Kuderedza chikonzero chikuru chekushushikana kunogona kugadzira kugona kwezvimwe zvese.

CHETATU

Chii chingagadzira shanduko huru yakanaka?

Tsvaga simba rekushandisa.

CHECHINA

Chii chandingagona kukanganisa?

Usapedza simba rako uchiedza kudzora zvausingakwanise kudzora.

CHESHANU

Ndechipi chiito chidiki chinobatsira chandingaite?

Ndipo paunotangira.

Haufanire Kuziva Kuti Hupenyu Hwako Huri Kuenda Kupi

Ichi chingave chinhu chinokukurudzira zvikuru chauchaverenga nhasi.

Haudi chirongwa chemakore mashanu.

Hamufanirwe kuziva chinangwa chenyu chikuru.

Hamufanirwe kuziva kuti muchave kupi chaizvo mumakore gumi anotevera.

Uye zvechokwadi haufanirwe kunge watoziva hupenyu hwako hwese usati watanga.

Unongofanira kuita sarudzo yakanakisisa neruzivo rwaunarwo nhasi.

Wobva watora danho.

Danho iroro rinokupa ruzivo.

Ruzivo rwunokubatsira kuita sarudzo inotevera.

Uye chinotevera.

Ndizvo zvinoitika shanduko ine chinangwa.

Kwete:

Ronga? Sarudzo Yakakwana? Kubudirira

Asi:

FUNGA? CHIITA? DZIDZA? GADZIRA? CHIITA ZVAKARE

Kurovedza muviri kwako kwemaminetsi gumi ekuti "Ndotangira papi?"

Kana uri kunzwa kuremerwa izvozvi, rega kuverenga kwechinguva.

Tora bepa.

Nyora pasi zvese zvaunoda kuchinja.

Usazvigadzirise.

Usazvitonge.

Ingonyora.

Zvino tenderedza zvinhu zvitatu zvinogona kuita mutsauko mukuru.

Wobva wabvunza kuti:

"Dai ndaigona kugadzirisa chimwe chete cheizvi mumazuva makumi matatu anotevera, ndechipi chandingasarudza?"

Denderedzwa.

Zvino bvunza:

"Ndeipi imwe nzira yandingaite mukati memaawa makumi maviri nemana anotevera?"

Nyora pasi.

Wobva wazviita.

Ndizvo.

Watanga.

Kubudirira Kwako Kwemunhu

Kuchinja kune chinangwa hakuwanzoitiki nekuti unongoerekana wava nechido chikuru.

Zvinoitika kuburikidza nedenderedzwa:

SARUDZA? CHIITA? DZIDZA? GADZIRA? DZOKORORA

Unosarudza chinhu chinokosha.

Unoita chiito chidiki.

Unoona zvinoitika.

Unodzidza.

Unogadzirisa maitiro ako.

Wobva wazviita zvakare.

Nekufamba kwenguva, zviito zvidiki izvozvo zvinogadzira simba.

Fomura Yako Yekuvandudza Munhu

Kana uchiyeuka chinhu chimwe chete kubva muchinyorwa chino, yeuka izvi:

ZVESE ZVANDINODA KUCHINJA

SARUDZA NDAU IMWE CHETE

Tsvaga Rubatsiro

Isa Chinangwa Chimwe Chete

TORA CHINHU CHIMWE CHIDIKI CHIDIKI

Dzokorora

Ongorora & Dzidza

SARUDZA NHANHO INOTERA

Haufanire kuchinja hupenyu hwako hwese nhasi.

Unongoda kuvandudza chikamu chimwe chete chazvo.

Ipapo mumwe.

Kuvandudzwa kudiki ikoko kunotanga kuwedzera.

Uye pakupedzisira chimwe chinhu chinoshamisa chinoitika.

Unotarira shure woona kuti hauna kushandura hupenyu hwako nekukurudzira kukuru.

Wakachinja izvi kuburikidza nemazana ezvisarudzo zvidiki kuti uite chimwe chinhu chiri nani pane zvawakaita kare.

The Bottom Line

Paunenge uchiedza kuvandudza hupenyu hwako, usabvunze kuti:

"Ndingagadzirisa sei zvese?"

Mubvunzo uyu haugoneki.

Bvunza:

"Ndechipi chinhu chimwe chete chandingagadzirisa chingave mutsauko mukuru wakanaka?"

Wobva waita kuti ive diki.

Sarudza chimwe chiito.

Zviite nguva dzose.

Dzidza kubva pane zvinoitika.

Gadzirisa.

Dzokorora.

Haufanire kunge waziva remangwana rako.

Unongoda kuziva kuti chii chinofanira kutariswa newe chinotevera.

Uye dzimwe nguva, kuziva zvekuita zvinotevera ndiko kujekesa kwaunoda.

Usanyanya kutarisisa zvakanyanya. Fambira mberi zvakanyanya.

Please share this post neshamwari dzako:

Wakawana chinyorwa ichi chinonakidza uye chinobatsira here, muverengi anodiwa?

Kana zvakadaro, ndokumbirawo ugovane pasocial media neshamwari dzako. Paunogovana, munhu wese anokunda.

Saka ndapota igoverane izvozvi. Kana ukadaro, ndichagara ndichitenda, uye unenge uchibatsira blogger ine shungu kusvika kune vakawanda vateereri.

Ndatenda.

Maitiro ekusarudza zvekutanga kutarisa, Maitiro ekusarudza zvekutanga kutarisa

Zvimwe zvinyorwa zvingakufadza:

Filed Under: Kubatsira Tagged With: Maitiro ekusarudza zvekutanga kutarisa pazviri, nzira yekutarisa pane chinangwa chimwe chete, maitiro ekuvandudza iwe pachako, maitiro ekuisa zvinangwa zvako pakutanga, sei kurega kunzwa kuremerwa, Chikonzero, budiriro yemunhu wega kune vanotanga, mafungiro, njere

5 majee anosetsa kuudza shamwari dzako uye dzinyemwerere

08/29/2026 by Roy Sutton

Zvinhu zvishoma muupenyu zvinogona kukunda kuseka. Zvisinei, chinhu chiri nani kuita kuti shamwari dzako dziseke. Saka kana iwe uchitsvaga mamwe majee anosetsa kuti uudze shamwari dzako, saka nhasi ndinokupa mashanu acho, ayo andinovimba achasimudza kunyemwerera kana maviri.

Saka tora nguva shomanana yekunakidzwa nazvo, wobva wasununguka kuzvipfuudza kune vamwe.

Nguva dzose zvakanaka kugovera kunyemwerera.

Majee anonakidza kuudza shamwari dzako:

1. The Chapel of Zororo:

Pandakanga ndava nemakore anenge manomwe, baba vangu vakandiendesa kuimba yemariro yomunharaunda iyoyo, sezvo vaida kunokudza mumwe wandaishanda naye akanga achangobva kufa.

Uyu aiva murume wandakanga ndisati ndamboonana naye, asi zvakanga zvakakosha kuna baba vangu, uye vaifunga kuti zvaizova upenyu hwakanaka kuti ndivaperekedze.

Takamirira nguva yedu yekuona bhokisi rakanga rakavhurika, ndakagara mukona ndakanyarara ndichimirira kuti nguva dzifambe.

Kamwe kamwe, musuwo weChapel of Rest wakavhurwa, uye murume mukuru wandakanga ndisati ndamboona akabuda, uye paakadaro, akanyemwerera kwandiri ndokuti, “ Iva nechokwadi chekuti unonakidzwa nehupenyu hwako, mwanakomana. Fara nekuti zvese zvichapfuura nekukuruma kweziso. Nditarise, handina kudaro, uye zvino zvanonoka. ”

Nemashoko iwayo, murume wacho akanyangarika nepamusuo mumugwagwa, uye rakanga rava jana redu rokuona chitunha chacho ndokuremekedza.

Takafamba zvakanaka tichipinda muChapel of Rest, ini ndakatarisa mucasket raive rakashama.

Ndakavhunduka. Handina kuzvibvuma. Mutumbi waiva mubhokisi ndiye murume akanga achangobva kutaura neni.

Zvakanaka, ndakashungurudzika zvikuru nechiitiko chacho. Ndairota zvinotyisa, uye ndaitya kuva ndoga. Ndakatadza kurara ndisina mwenje kwemakore akati wandei.

Zvakazoipa zvekuti ndakatozoenda kunorapwa psychotherapy necounselling.

Sezvandaikura, zvishoma nezvishoma ndakatanga kurarama zviri nani, kutozosvikira rimwe zuva ndawana chimwe chinhu chakachinja zvachose upenyu hwangu.

Ndakaziva kuti mumwe wababa vangu akafa aiva netwin mukoma.

2. Muedzo wekutyaira:

Jane akasvika kumba, achangotora test yake yekutyaira kechipfumbamwe.

Sezvingatarisirwa, murume wake, Bill, aida kuziva kuti akanga aita sei panguva iyi.

" Saka, mudiwa, zvakafamba sei panguva ino? " Bill akabvunza.

" Hazvina kunaka ," Jane akapindura. " Vakanditadzira zvakare ."

" Zvechokwadi? " akadaro Bill, achiratidza kusafara nezvake. " Vakakusundidzira chii panguva ino? "

" Tambo ," Jane akapindura, achinyara.

" Tambo? " Bill akabvunza, achiratidza kushamisika zvishoma.

" Hongu, ndizvo zvavakandiburitsa ," Jane akapindura. " Mota ichiri murwizi ."

3. Dambudziko rekushaya mbereko:

Mumwe murimi akapinda mubhawa reko ndokuhodha girazi rechampagne.

Mukadzi akanga akagara padivi pake pakaunda akati, “ Ko, ko izvozvo? Ini ndichangobva kutenga champagne zvakare! ”

" Zvakaitika," murimi akapindura. " Iri izuva rakakosha kwandiri, saka ndiri kupemberera! "

" Ehe, iri izuva rakakoshawo kwandiri, saka ndiri kupembererawo ," mukadzi akapindura.

" Zvakaitika netsaona!" akadaro murimi. Pavakagonya magirazi vachipemberera, murimi akabvunza kuti, " Muri kupembererei amai? "

" Ini nemurume wangu tanga tichiedza kuva nemwana ," akadaro mukadzi wacho, " uye chiremba wangu wemadzimai achangobva kusimbisa kuti ndine pamuviri! "

" Zvakaitika netsaona! " akadaro murimi. " Ndiri murimi wehuku, uye huku dzangu dzakanga dzisina kubereka gore rapfuura, asi nhasi dzose dziri kuisa mazai! "

" Wow, zvakanaka! " akadaro mukadzi. " Saka, huku dzako dzakazongoerekana dzabereka sei? "

" Ndakashandisa imwe c*** ," murimi akapindura.

Mukadzi akanyemwerera, akagogodza girazi rake zvakare, ndokuti, " Zvakaitika! "

4. The Confessional Booth:

Baba Murphy vakanga vachireurura apo mumwe mukomana wechidiki akapinda muimba yekureurura.

“ Ndiregerereiwo Baba, nekuti ndakatadza ,” akadaro jaya. “ Ndagara nemusikana asina tsika dzakanaka .”

" Ndiwe here, Jimmy Walsh mudiki?" Baba Murphy vakabvunza.

"Hongu, Baba, ndizvozvo ," Jimmy mudiki akapindura.

" Uye iwe, mukomana wepaaritari! Ndagumbuka newe, Jimmy ," akadaro Baba Murphy. " Musikana mudiki uyu ndiani? "

" Baba, handidi kuti awane mukurumbira wakaipa ," akadaro Jimmy, achizvidzivirira.

" NdiBernadette Kelly here? " Baba Murphy vakabvunza.

"Kwete, Baba ," akadaro Jimmy.

" Ndiye Patricia O'Connor here? " Baba Murphy vakaenderera mberi.

"Kwete, Baba ," akadaro Jimmy.

" Aiva Teresa O'Sullivan here? " Baba Murphy vakaenderera mberi.

" Baba, handigoni kukuudzai zita rake. Hazvina kunaka ," akadaro Jimmy.

" Zvakanaka , ndinoyemura kuvimbika kwako kumusikana uyu, Jimmy, asi wakatadza, uye kana ukaramba wakanyarara, saka unofanira kugamuchira kupfidza kwako ," Baba Murphy vakapindura.

" Zvino chii ichocho, Baba? " Jimmy akabvunza.

" Warambidzwa kushanda semukomana wepaatari zvakare kwemwedzi mitatu ." Baba Murphy vakapindura nehasha.

Jimmy mudiki akafamba achidzokera kubhenji zvishoma nezvishoma, uye paakagara pasi, shamwari yake Rory yakazevezera ichiti, " Zvafamba sei? "

" Hurongwa hwacho hwakashanda zvakanaka," Jimmy akapindura achinyemwerera. "Mwedzi mitatu yekusiya basa uye mikana mitatu yakanaka yekuzadzisa zvinangwa. "

5. Kuvhiya Kwekuedza:

Mhuri neshamwari vakanga vakaungana padivi pomubhedha waJim, uyo akanga ari pakoma.

Pakupedzisira, mumwe chiremba akasvika kuzozivisa vadiwa vaJim nezvemamiriro ake ezvinhu.

Chiremba vakambomira zvishoma vachiona kunetseka pazviso zvavo.

" Ndiri kutya kuti ndine mashoko akaipa kwauri ," akadaro chiremba.

" Chii ichocho, chiremba? " akabvunza mukoma waJim.

" Zvakanaka ," akadaro chiremba. " Kana Jim achizopona, tariro yake chete ingave yekuisirwa uropi. Ndinofanira kukuudza, rudzi urwu rwekuvhiyiwa ruchiri rwekuyedza, rune njodzi, uye pachava nemari yauchazoda kubhadhara. "

Vadiwa vaJim vakamira ipapo vakanyarara.

Mushure memaminitsi mashoma, mudzimai waJim akabvunza chiremba kuti, " Uropi hwake hutsva hwaizodhura marii? "

" Zvakanaka, zvinoenderana ," akadaro chiremba. " Uropi hwemurume hunodhura mari inosvika $10,000, nepo huropi hwemukadzi huchidhura mari inosvika $1,000. "

Nguva yakaoma yakatevera, sezvo varume vaiva padivi pemubhedha waJim vaisagona kuramba kunyemwerera.

Ipapo kuda kuziva kwomudzimai waJim kwakamukurira.

" Sei uropi hwemurume huchidhura zvakanyanya kudaro, chiremba? " akabvunza.

" Zvakanaka, ndiyo tsika yedu yakajairika ," akadaro chiremba. " Tinofanira kuderedza mutengo wehuropi hwechikadzi nekuti hwakamboshandiswa. "

Please share this post neshamwari dzako:

Saka mudikani muverengi, wawana aya majee anonakidza kuudza shamwari dzako seanosetsa sezvawaitarisira? Zvirokwazvo, ndinovimba vese vakakuseka.

Zvimwe ungada kumwe kuseka? Kana zvakadaro, tinya pane zvinongedzo pazasi.

Uye kana iwe wakanakidzwa neichi chinyorwa saka ndokumbira ugovane neshamwari dzako pasocial media. Paunogovana, munhu wese ahwina.

Rutsigiro rwenyu runotendwa zvechokwadi.

Ndatenda.

Zvimwe zvinonakidza zvaunganakidzwa nazvo:

majee anosetsa kuudza shamwari dzako, majee anosetsa kuudza shamwari dzako, majee anosetsa kuudza shamwari dzako majee anonakidza kuudza shamwari dzako,

Filed Under: Semburi Jokes Tagged With: Kufara, varaidzo, majee anosekesa, shamisa, funny joke, majee anosetsa, majee anosetsa kuudza shamwari dzako, kusetsa, kuseka, majee, Kuseka, nyaya pfupi dzinosetsa, majee mapfupi, majee ane njere

6 nyaya pfupi majee anovimbiswa kukuita iwe kuseka

08/28/2026 by Roy Sutton

Heano majee matanhatu enyaya pfupi akavimbiswa kukuseka. Vakaita kuti ndicheme nekuseka, saka ndinovimba vachakuvhenekerawo. Nakidzwa nazvo zvese.

Nyaya pfupi majee:

1. Muunganidzi Wechikwereti Matsi:

Mafia aitsvaga murume mutsva wekuti aunganidze vhiki nevhiki kubva kumabhizinesi ese ega ega ari pasi pekudzivirira kwavo.

Sezvo vakanga vachinzwa kupisa kwemapurisa, vakasarudza kushandisa munhu asinganzwi pabasa iri. Kana munhu asinganzwi akabatwa, vanofunga kuti haazokwanisi kutaura nemapurisa zviri nyore.

Muvhiki yake yekutanga pabasa, muteresi wechikwereti matsi anotora mari inopfuura $50,000. Iyoyo imari yakawanda, anofunga, uye makaro ematsi anounganidza chikwereti anomukunda. Anosarudza kuchengeta mari yacho, uye anoiviga panzvimbo yakachengeteka.

Zvisinei, hapana nguva refu Mafia asati aona kuti kuunganidza kwanonoka uye vanotumira zviremera zvakati kuti vatsvake muteresi wezvikwereti matsi.

Nenguva isipi vanomuwana vobvunza muteresi wezvikwereti matsi kuti aita sei nemari. Dambudziko nderekuti muteresi wezvikwereti matsi haakwanise kutaura navowo, saka Mafia anorema anomukwevera kumuturikiri.

Vanosvika kumuturikiri wemutauro wemasaini uye mukuru weMafioso anobva ati, " Ndinoda kuti umubvunze kuti mari iri kupi. "

Saka muturikiri anosaina achiti, “ Mari iri kupi? ”

Mutori wechikwereti asinganzwi anoedza kunyepera nzira yake yekubuda mudambudziko rake achiti, “ Handizivi zvavari kutaura. ”

Muturikiri anotarisa Mafioso ndokuti, “ Ari kuti haazive zvauri kutaura. ”

Mafioso anopinza ruoko rwake mujasi rake ndokuburitsa pfuti yerudzi rwe.44 Remington Magnum, yaanonongedzera pahuma yemubati wechikwereti matsi, uye nenzwi rake rinotyisidzira, anoti kumuturikiri, " Mubvunze kuti mari iri kupi, uye muudze kuti handichazokumbirwazve. "

Saka muturikiri anobva angosaina kuti, “ Mari iri kupi? Anoti haazobvunzizve, uye ndinofunga kuti ari kurevesa. ”

Panguva iyi, munhu asinganzwi anotya kubhadhara zvikwereti, uye anosaina achiti, “ $50,000 iri muCentral Park, yakavanzwa muchitsiga chemuti chechitatu kuruboshwe pedyo negedhi pedyo ne72nd Street paCentral Park West, uye pedyo neStrawberry Fields. ”

Achiratidza kusashivirira, Mafioso anotarisa muturikiri ndokubvunza kuti, “ Ati chii? ”

Muturikiri anotarisa Mafioso ndokuti, “ Anoti haasati aziva zvauri kutaura, anofunga kuti uri benzi, uye haafungi kuti une simba rekupfura! ”

2. The Balloonist uye Programmer:

Mumwe murume ari kubhururuka nebharumu remhepo inopisa uye anokurumidza kuona kuti arasika zvachose.

Saka anotanga kudzikisa hurefu hwake obva angoerekana aona mumwe murume pasi. Anodzikisa bharumu zvishoma obva adanidzira achiti: “ Ndiregerereiwo, changamire, ndanga ndichishamisika, mungandiudzewo kuti ndiri kupi? Ndiri kuita sendakarasika. ”

Achishamisika, murume wacho anotarira mudenga opindura achiti, “ Ehe, zviri nyore. Uri mubharumu remhepo inopisa, riri pamusoro pemunda uyu mamita makumi maviri nemashanu. ”

" Unofanira kushanda muIT. Ndiri kufunga kuti unoita basa rekugadzira mapurogiramu? " anodaro murongi wemabharumu.

" Ndinotenda uye hongu, ndinotenda, " murume uya anopindura, achitaridzika kushamisika zvishoma. " Wafungidzira sei? "

" Zvakanaka, " anodaro muroyi wemabharumu, " zvese zvawandiudza ndezvechokwadi, asi hazvina zvazvinobatsira chero ani zvake. "

Mugadziri wepurogiramu anonyemwerera obva ati, “ Ah, unofanira kunge uri CEO webhizinesi. ”

" Hongu, ndini, " anopindura muroyi wemabharumu, " asi waiziva sei izvozvo? "

" Zviri nyore, " anodaro mugadziri wepurogiramu. " Hauzivi kuti uri kupi kana kuti uri kuenda kupi, asi unotarisira kuti ndikwanise kukubatsira. Uri panzvimbo imwe chete yawaiva tisati tasangana, asi ikozvino imhosva yangu. "

3. Ingwe, Munhu, naMwari:

Murume ari kudzingirirwa nengwe.

Ari kumhanya nesimba sezvaanogona, uye pakupedzisira, anosvika kumucheto kwedombo ingwe ichiri kumhanyirira.

Murume wacho anotarisa kumucheto kwedombo ndokuona bazi richikura richibuda mujinga memawere anenge mamita mashomanana pasi.

Asina imwe nzira, murume wacho anosvetukira pasi ndokubata bazi racho nguva pfupi ingwe isati yasvika kumawere.

Dindingwe riri kudzvova zvine utsinye uye richifamba richidzokera kumashure richitevedza mawere. Murume wacho anogomera nekusununguka, sezvaanofunga kuti akakunda dindingwe.

Panguva iyoyo, kambeva kadiki kanobuda mumukana wedombo, uye kanotanga kutsenga pabazi.

Murume wacho anotarisa pasi padonhwe remamita mazana. Kana akawa, zvichamuurayisa zvechokwadi. Saka anotarisa kudenga ndokudanidzira achiti, “ Mwari wangu, kana muripo, ndapota ndibatsireiwo. Ndichaita chero chamunokumbira, asi ndapota ndibatsireiwo. ”

" Unoti uchaita chero chandinokumbira?" Pasina kubvunzwa? " inzwi rinonzwika richibva kudenga riri kumusoro.

Murume wacho anoshamisika kuti apindurwa pakarepo nechikumbiro chake, asi anopindura achiti, “ Ndichaita chero chamunokumbira, asi ndapota ndibatsireiwo. ”

" Pane nzira imwe chete yekukuponesa, asi zvinoda ushingi nekutenda, " rinodaro inzwi rinobva kumusoro.

Murume wacho anonzwa kuti bazi richitanga kupera simba sezvo mbeva inoramba ichiriruma, uye anogona kuona dindingwe richiri kufamba-famba, richirira kumucheto kwemawere mamita mashomanana pamusoro pake.

" Ndapota, Ishe, ndiudzei zvandinofanira kuita, uye ndichazviita. Kuda kwenyu ndiko murayiro wangu, " murume wacho anodanidzira achipererwa.

" Zvakanaka, siya bazi ," inzwi rakabva kudenga rinopindura.

Murume wacho anotarisa pasi pakudonha kwemazana emafiti uye rufu rwechokwadi. Anotarisa kumusoro kune dindingwe rine nzara nemamita mashoma pamusoro pake, obva atarisa mbeva ichiri kutsenga pabazi.

Anobva atarisa kudenga zvakare odanidzira achiti, “ Hapana mumwe munhu here kumusoro uko wandingataure naye? ”

4. The Mercedes Dealership:

Mumwe murume akwegura akadzokera kuchitoro cheMercedes akawana mutengesi wacho achangobva kutengesa motokari yaaida kune imwe tsvarakadenga, ine makumbo.

" Ndaifunga kuti wati uchandichengetera mota iyoyo kusvika ndawedzera mutengo we$75,000 ," akadaro murume mukuru. " Zvino ndaudzwa kuti wapedza chibvumirano che$65,000 nemusikana akanaka ari uko. Wakaramba uchiti hapana dhisikaundi pamodhi iyi. "

" Zvakanaka, changamire, ndingakuudzai chii? " akadaro mutengesi achinyemwerera. " Aiva nemari muruoko rwake, uye ingomutarisa; akanaka kwazvo. Ndingaramba sei ?"

Panguva iyi mukadzi wechidiki akabva asvika paive neharahwa ichibva yamupa makiyi emota.

" Hezvo ," akadaro. " Ndakakuudza kuti ndinogona kuita kuti museki uyu aderedze mutengo wake waaida. Tichaonana gare gare, Sekuru ."

Tsika dzenyaya iyi: Usambofa wakatamba nevanhu vakwegura!

5. The Genie:

Mutengi webasa revatengi, mabharani wekutonga, uye maneja wavo vese vari kufamba kuenda kukudya kwemasikati pavanosangana nerambi rekare, rekare remafuta.

Vachiziva kuti rambi remafuta rekare rinogona kugadzika genie, vanorikwiza nechido netarisiro.

Chokwadi, panobuda genie.

" Ndini jini remwenje, uye mumwe nemumwe wenyu anogona kuva nechido chimwe chete ," anodaro jini.

" Ini kutanga! Ini kutanga !" anodaro mumiriri webasa revatengi. " Ndinoda kuva muBahamas, ndichityaira chikepe chinomhanya, ndisina hanya nazvo. "

Pane kurira kwehutsi hunoteverwa negore rehutsi, uye mumiririri wevatengi aenda.

" Ini ndinotevera! Ini ndinotevera! " anodaro munyori wezvemitemo. " Ndinoda kuva muHawaii, ndichizorora pamhenderekedzo yegungwa nePina Coladas isingaperi uye rudo rwehupenyu hwangu. "

Pane ruzha rwehutsi hunoteverwa negore rehutsi, uye mabharani weadministration aenda

Jini rinozotarisa maneja roti, “ Zvakanaka, Shefu, ndinofunga kuti yave nguva yenyu ikozvino. ”

" Ndinoda kuti vaviri ava vadzoke muhofisi mumaminitsi makumi mana nemashanu chaiwo, " maneja anopindura.

Dzidziso yenyaya iyi: Nguva dzose zvakanaka kurega mukuru wako achienda kutanga.

6. Musikana wekuMexico:

Musikana wekuMexico anokumbira kukwidzwa mubhadharo kubva kumukadzi wemba.

Mudzimai wacho haafari nazvo, saka anosarudza kutaura nemusikana webasa nezvechikumbiro chake chemari yakawanda.

" Zvino, Maria, sei uchida mari yakawanda? " anobvunza.

" Zvakanaka, Señora, pane zvikonzero zvitatu nei ndichida kuwedzera, " anodaro musikana webasa. " Chinhu chekutanga ndechekuti ndinoayina zviri nani kupfuura iwe. "

" Maria, ndiani akati unoayina zviri nani kupfuura ini? " mudzimai anopindura.

" Jor huzban anodaro Señora, " Maria anopindura.

" Ah, akazviita, handiti? " anodaro mudzimai. " Ko chikonzero chako chechipiri ndechipi? "

" Chikonzero chechipiri eez kuti ndiri mubiki ari nani kupfuura iwe, " Maria anopindura.

" Izvo hazvina musoro. Ndiani akati uri mubiki ari nani kupfuura ini? " anobvunza mudzimai.

" Jor hozban deed Señora, " Maria anopindura.

" Ah, akazviita, handiti? " Mudzimai anopindura, achiratidza kushatirwa zvakanyanya.

" Chikonzero chechitatu ndechekuti ndiri nani pane iwe uri pamubhedha, " anodaro Maria.

Mukadzi wemba akatsamwa zvino, achiruma mazino, anobvunza kuti, " Ko murume wangu akataurawo izvozvo here? "

" Kwete Señora, basa remurimi, " Maria anopindura kudaro.

" Zvakanaka , unoda marii? " anobvunza mushandirwi wake.

Please share this post neshamwari dzako:

Kana iwe wakanakidzwa neaya majee mapfupi, muverengi anodiwa, ndapota govana iyi positi pasocial media neshamwari dzako.

Goverana mafaro, uye munhu wese anokunda.

Isa nyemwerero pachiso chemumwe munhu uye iwe waita basa rako rakanaka rezuva. Saka enda mberi, ndapota govera iyi post ikozvino.

Uye kana iwe uchida kumwe kuseka, wobva wadzvanya pane zvinongedzo pazasi. Unozowana zvakawanda zvokuita kuti unyemwerere.

Rutsigiro rwenyu runotendwa. Ndatenda.

Zvimwe zvinonakidza zvaunganakidzwa nazvo:

Filed Under: Semburi Jokes Tagged With: Kufara, varaidzo, mafaro, shamisa, kusetsa, kuseka, Influencers, kurudziro, majee, Kuseka, upenyu, LOL, zvichireva, nyemwerera, Stress-isina

31 Makotesheni anonakidza naLucius B. Wack

08/27/2026 by Roy Sutton

Kana ari makotesheni anonakidza auri kutsvaga, muverengi anodiwa, saka ndine makumi matatu ekuona kwakanakisa kubva kushamwari yangu yakanaka Lucius B. Wack.

Vaverengi venguva dzose vanozoziva kuti akati wandei ezvandakatumira atora makotesheni kubva kune uyu muzivi wemazuva ano.

Sezvambotaurwa, Lucius B. Wack mumwe munhu wandinoyemura, saka ndakafunga kuti zvingava zvinofadza kugovera dzimwe pfungwa dzake paupenyu nhasi.

Saka, verenga aya mazwi anonakidza uye ona zvaunofunga.

Ndinovimba iwe unowana izvi zvakacherechedzwa nezvehupenyu hwanhasi munyika dzekuMadokero zvinonakidza.

Kana ukadaro, saka ndapota inzwa wakasununguka kuzvipfuudza kushamwari dzako.

Mashoko Anonakidza (1-10):

Ndiani achazombowana kururamisira kubva kumhomho?

Policy haigone kubudirira kana yakavakirwa pamanyepo.

Kana mutengo uri rugare rwako rwepfungwa, unodhura zvakanyanya.

Kurarama chinhu chakanaka. Zvechokwadi, zviri nani pane imwe nzira.

Basa rinofanira kutishandira. Hatifaniri kuva varanda vebasa redu. Hupenyu hupfupi.

Hakuna chinhu chinonzi mari yehurumende. Pane mari yevateresi chete.

Nhasi ichave inobudirira sezvaunosarudza kuigadzira. Saka, ita kuti ibudirire zvikuru.

Neiko vanhu vanovenga zvikuru nguva dzose vari avo vanova vanotanga kupomera vamwe kuvenga?

Dambudziko rine vanhu vane kutenda kusingazununguki kwavanoziva zvakanyanya nderekuti kazhinji, havadaro.

Iwe haugone kuwana chokwadi chechokwadi kubva kune chero munhu anotsigirwa nemari hombe. Iye (kana iye) ane goridhe anoita mitemo.

Mashoko Anonakidza (11-20):

Chenjera kune avo vanoda kuratidza hunhu hwavo. Seri kwemasiki ese akanaka, kazhinji pane maitiro akashata.

Upenyu huzere nezvinetso, uye tose tinowana mugove wedu. Hapana hupenyu hwemunhu hwakakwana, zvisinei nezviratidzo zvinopikisa.

Kana munhu achinge agutsikana nemafungiro ake, zviri nyore kukanganwa kuti anogona kunge asina tariro.

Vatasvi vemabhiza havasi kuuya kuzokuponesa. Saka, kana iwe uchida kuti hupenyu hwako huve nani, unofanirwa kushanda pakuzviponesa.

Kana kubudirira kuri chinangwa chako, unofanirwa kuve uine pfungwa yechinangwa. Ziva chikonzero chako, uye iwe uchawana nzira yekuenda kwaunoda kuenda.

Chenjera avo vanozoturikira zvaunotaura kuburikidza neprism yerusaruro rwavo votsvaga kushandisa maonero avo akamonyaniswa pauri.

Kana zvakakosha, tinofanira kuita nguva. Munhu wese ane maawa akaenzana pavhiki. Mashandisiro atinoashandisa anoenderana nezvatinokoshesa.

Kukundikana kukundikana chete kana tikatadza kudzidza mazviri. Zvikasadaro, chidzidzo chinobatsira ndicho hwaro hwechinhu chakakosha chinozivikanwa sechiitiko.

Kana mumwe munhu akati, "Kotamira kune zvandinoda kana kutarisana nemigumisiro," pane mhinduro imwe chete yakakodzera. Mazwi maviri, rechipiri rakabva.

Ita chero chinhu, uye uchakanganisa. Nekudaro, iwe uchadzidza kubva pane izvo zvikanganiso, uye nekufamba kwenguva iwe unozokwenenzvera hunyanzvi hwako. Mastery inotanga nekuenda.

Mashoko Anonakidza (21-31):

Haufanire kutevera moyo wako, asi rimwe zuva uchashuva kuti dai wadaro. Zvirinani kuedza nekukundikana pane kupedza hupenyu hwako hwese uchifunga kuti chingave chii.

Chero chipi chaunosarudza kutaura, zvisinei kuti chakarurama sei kana kuti ichokwadi, pachagara paine mumwe munhu pasocial media anotora kunze kwazviri. Ndihwo hupenyu nhasi.

Vamwe vanhu vakapofumadzwa zvikuru nezvavanodavira kuti kunaka mumaonero avo vamene zvokuti havagoni kutanga kunzwisisa kana imwe mirangariro inobatwa navamwe ine mufungowo.

Iwe unogona kunge uine nharo ine musoro, asi kana ikapikisana nehurongwa hweavo vane zvimwe zvinangwa zvakashata, vanongokubvisa semunhu mukuru. Ndiyo nzira yechinyakare yekudzima nharo.

Vanoedza kubvisa rusununguko rwakawanda kubva kuvanhuwo zvavo sezvavanogona. Vane chivimbo chechitendero muunhu hwavo uye vanonzwa vari nani pane zvavanoona sehupenzi hwevanhu vaduku.

Kana iwe uri kutonga, iwe haupo kuti ufarirwe. Uripo kuti ushande. Kana ukashanda, ucharemekedzwa. Kana iwe ukaedza kukwikwidza mukurumbira, haugone kushanda, uye pakupedzisira, unokundikana.

Zvinetso zvingani zvakakomba munyika ino zvakaparirwa navezvamatongerwe enyika vanoita zvisarudzo zvisina mufungo asi zvakasundwa nokuda kwavo kuonekwa sezvakanaka?

Sei tichipa vanhu vazhinji mapenzi simba rakawanda pamusoro pehupenyu hwedu? Kwose kwaunotarisa mune zvematongerwo enyika uye masangano ehurumende, kune vanhu vakapusa vasingambofaniri kunge vari pese pese pese pese pese pese pese pese pese pese.

Mumwe nemumwe wedu ane rwendo rwakasiyana kuburikidza nehupenyu, uye rwendo rwemumwe munhu haruna hazvo nani kana kuipa kupfuura rwemumwe. Ndidzo sarudzo dzatinoita uye mabatiro atinoita nemakadhi atinobatwa ndiwo anozoraira zviitiko zvedu zvehupenyu.

Hudzvinyiriri hukuru ndiyo mamiriro ezvinhu. Zvavanoda hazvidi kupikiswa nekuti vanotya mumwe munhu achitora chikafu chavo chemasikati. Havana vavariro yekugovera keke nemumwe munhu. Ndiko kusaka vachifanira kugara vachipikiswa.

Iva wakagadzirira kumira uye kurwa kana zvine basa kwauri, kana kudzidza kugamuchira izvo zvingave zvisingagamuchirwi. Kana ukasamira, unofanira kupfugamira avo vanotevedza hurongwa hwavo kunyangwe zvichipesana nezvido zvevazhinji.

Ndokumbira ugovane aya makotesheni ehupenzi:

Kana iwe wakawana aya anonakidza makotesheni anomutsa kufunga, ndapota govana iyi positi pasocial media neshamwari dzako.

Paunogovana, munhu wese anokunda.

Saka enda mberi, ndapota govera iyi post ikozvino.

Kana iwe uchikwanisa kundiitira izvozvo, ndichagara ndichitenda, uye unenge uchibatsira blogger ine shungu kusvika kune vakawanda vateereri.

Rutsigiro rwenyu runotendwa. Ndatenda.

Zvinyorwa zvaunganakidzwa nazvo:

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: Maitiro, Influencers, kurudziro, Inspirational Quotes, Zvinonakidza Quotes, upenyu, Lucius B. Wack, zvichireva, Chikonzero, Zvinokurudzira Quotes, mafungiro, quotes, Sage Quotes, njere

15 ane mukurumbira Dolly Parton anotorwa nezve Dolly Parton

08/26/2026 by Roy Sutton

Nhasi ndinoda kutarisa mamwe mashoko akakurumbira aDolly Parton pamusoro paDolly Parton.

Vateveri vese vemimhanzi vachange vakashamisika kunzwa nhau dzerufu rwaDolly Parton ane mukurumbira. Kunyangwe aiwanzoonekwa seasina basa kunze kwezvinhu zvaaizivikanwa nazvo, Dolly Parton aifanira kuremekedzwa nesu. Mukuona kwangu, aive akangwara uye ane tarenda, uye aive nepfungwa dzakanaka dzekuseka. Hakuzombovizve naDolly. Zorora murugare, Dolly, uye ndatenda nemimhanzi yese. Uchasuwirwa.

Zvisinei, pane mashoko akanaka pano, saka tora nguva shoma kuti unakirwe nawo ese.

Uyezve, ndapota vapfuudza.

Anozivikanwa naDolly Parton anoti:

Vanhu vanoti ndinofara zvikuru, uye ini ndinoti, 'Ndiyo Botox.'
Utera hwangu hwagara huri chikafu uye varume, mukurongeka ikoko.
Chinhu chakanaka kuti ndakaberekwa ndiri musikana; dai zvisina kudaro, ndingadai ndiri mambokadzi wevanhu.
Kana ndikaona chimwe chinhu chichitsvedza, chichikweva kana kudhonzwa, ndichachicheka, kufukidza kana kusveta.
Marwadzo makuru muupenyu hwangu anga ari ekuti ndaida kuti vanhu vandide kupfuura zvavaida kana kuti zvavanogona.
Ndinotenda Mwari nekukundikana kwangu. Pamwe kwete panguva iyoyo asi mushure mekufungisisa. Handimbozvioni sokuti ndakundikana nemhaka chete yokuti chimwe chinhu chandakaedza chakundikana.
Ini ndinongofanana nemusikana wepanext door kana uchigara padhuze nepaki yekuvaraidza.
Pandinofemerwa, ndinonzwa manyukunyuku nekuti handigoni kumirira kuti ndione zvandichazobuda nazvo.
Handisi runako rwepanyama. Kana ndichava nekutarisa zvachose, ndichafanira kuzvigadzira.
Ndinogona kunge ndiine kamuviri kadiki, asi handisi kukuudza kupi. (Pakubvunzwa kana aive nematinji)
Pamwe pandinenge ndasvitsa 100 mobva mazodemba. (Pakubvunzwa kuti angambomira asina kupfeka)
Ndakanga ndatove mukuvhiyiwa kwepurasitiki apo vazhinji vevaimbi venyika iyi vakanga vachiri mumapepa epurasitiki.
Handitsamwiswi nemajee ese ezvitubu zveblonde nekuti ndinoziva kuti handisi mbeveve, uye ndinozivawo kuti handisi mutsvuku.
Mimhanzi yagara iri musimboti wangu, uye pandinoenda, ndinoda kuwira pasi pachikuva, pakati chaipo perwiyo.
Ndini mukadzi wekutanga kusvira braa yangu. Zvakatora vedhipatimendi remoto mazuva mana kuti udzime.

Wawana here mashoko aya akakurumbira aDolly Parton achinakidza, muverengi anodiwa?

Iwe wakaita? Ndinovimba zvakadaro zvakadaro.

Kana zvirizvo saka ndokumbirawo mugovane iyi post neshamwari dzenyu pasocial media nekuti mukagovera munhu wese anohwina.

Saka ndokumbirawo ugoverane iyi post ikozvino, iwe uchinge uine mukana. Kana mukakwanisa kundiitira izvozvo ndinozotenda zvikuru. Iwe unenge uchibatsira blogger ine shungu kusvika kune vakawanda vateereri.

Ndatenda nerutsigiro rwenyu.

Zvinyorwa zvingakufadza:

Filed Under: Quotes Tagged With: Dolly Parton, Anozivikanwa naDolly Parton Quotes, Influencers, kurudziro, Inspirational Quotes, zvichireva, Chikonzero, Zvinokurudzira Quotes, mafungiro, quotes, Quotes nezve Dolly Parton, nyemwerera, njere